


Bucky Bites

by BuckRogersMD



Category: Black Widow - Fandom, Captain America, Hulk - Fandom, Iron Man - Fandom, The Avergers, the winter soldier - Fandom
Genre: Action adventure and romance, Ai Doc, Alien Invasion, Alien epidemic, Alien implantation, Alternative ending to the infinity Saga, Androgyny, Avengers children, Bondage, Brain computer interface, Bucky and Steve's childhood together, Bucky gets love and attention, Bucky is a slut, Cyborgs, DNA tracker, Drug Addiction, Explicit erotic dance, F/M, Forced Sterilization, Hand to Hand Combat, Hive mentality, Human Experimentation, Human recycling, ILLUMINE, Intergalactic War, LSD, Love happiness friendship forgiveness, M/M, M/M army, Mad Scientist, Madness prison brainwashing, Male liberation, Manchurian candidate, Mass Suicide, Mental Illness, Other, Penis preoccupation, Personality disintegration, Peter Parker - Freeform, Petite hulk, Planets Omicron and Protium, Psychological fugue, Regression, Sex Addiction, Steve has a girlfriend from Wakanda, Stucky and STUCKY X1, Super Soldier Program, Surfing, The black widow lives!, The office of scientific investigation, The quantum force, Time Travel, Timothy Leary, Tiskells, Tony Lives!, Toxic Masculinity, True Love, Truth Serum, Wanda Maximoff - Freeform, War Stories, cloning, death seed, dream machine, environmental collapse, hulk out, self injury, the 1960s, the alphane moon, zemo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-10-26 14:20:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 182,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20743604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BuckRogersMD/pseuds/BuckRogersMD
Summary: Bucky BitesThe Bucky Bites Series is a series of three novels that you can read here for free!The Bucky Bites Series explains the true events following Avengers: Civil War and what happens to James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes, Steve Rogers, Natalia Romanova, Tony Stark and Bruce Banner. Tony is not dead! Nat is not dead! They live in this story! Have fun! Explore! Take a ride! Let the story take you on a strange and fantastic trip. Fantasy will set you free.Readers have said the following about the Bucky Bites Series of Books: An absolutely fascinating roller coaster ride… Emotional… Thought provoking… Amazing work! ... Very original… Super interesting… Full of good ideas… I'll love Bucky forever… It was like a dance, I've never read anything like it... Even if you're not all that into the Avengers this story stands on its own... (and my favorite) TIME WELL SPENT.(If anyone happen to read The Three Stigmata of Bucky Barnes please skip ahead to book 3. All 70,000 words of it are new.)





	1. Your Name is James Buchanan Barnes

DISCLAIMER

All publicly recognizable characters, or settings, etc., are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. This work is done purely for entertainment only.

INTRODUCTION

First there was the word. The purpose of the word is to tell. The purpose of the telling is to tell the truth. The truth is opposite of false. The truth has fidelity to an original standard. The truth is unchangeable.

I love Comics. They make money. One day something is true, the next day the same thing is false. One day something is red, the next day the same thing is black.

I love the MCU. They make real money. They use the characters sometimes to service themselves but more likely to serve other characters or to enhance plot points for the greater good of the movie. Characters sometimes die in this service. The character is sometimes ignored. The character sometimes does not have a voice. The character is sometimes dropped. Their use may depend on their popularity with an eye always on the bottom line.

I have nothing to gain. I can make no money. I service no one but the character. One character. I wrote the words for one purpose: to tell the truth.

The following is the true story of James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes  
D.O.B. August 10, 1917. The Bucky Bites Series

Book One

Your Name is James Buchanan Barnes

By: Buck Rogers M.D.

In The Past

She knew her name was Natalia.

He did not know his name. He did not know who he was or what he was. He thought he was an animal of some kind or maybe a machine. He did have emotions, two emotions, fear and anger. 

She had only one, fear.

He understood his orders as he walked into the gallery. He noted the set up. One door across the room, no windows or other means of escape, and two surveillance cameras equipped with microphones. He saw nothing he could use as a weapon. 

His stride slowed to a halt when he sensed her fear – animals can do that. He stood in the middle of the room, arms at his side, palms turned outward, providing reassurance that he concealed nothing in his hands. He did not try to make eye contact with her. He relaxed to appear as non-threatening as a large man wearing a harness, obedience collar and shackles could look. He prepared to stand all day and allow her to look him over. There was no moving forward if she was afraid. Occasionally, he shot a glance in her direction. 

She sat on the floor inside her entrance door wrapped in her own arms. She was tiny – young – a child. She wore one long red braid down her back that touched the floor, the tip circled in a pool. The spiral of hair on the floor stirred some memory in him, a scribble of a memory, but he could not hold it. This elusive feeling melted away into nothing. Occasionally, she too, glanced at him and rushed her eyes away. 

She knew him. She knew who he was by reputation – by legend. He was the American soldier. The one that lived. The only one that lived. She had even seen him before in person. She was forced to watch his 'procedures' and 'treatments'. Horrifying moments. Even though she was young she did not miss the meaning of these exercises: cooperate or this will be you.

Some time passed. Her glance became a stare until he glanced at her, and their eyes met briefly before she looked away. His eyes were intense. She felt a stab of fear but also an exhilaration. She knew she wanted another look. 

A sudden rustle of movement by the door attracted their attention. His handlers entered and demanded he follow. He resisted. A short fight ensued. One handler, holding a device, sent an electric shock to the metal plates of the obedience collar over his carotid arteries. His reaction was immediate. His hands shot to the collar to pull it away from his neck, but that could not stop electricity. His back arched, his face grimaced, and he fell to the floor. He convulsed his way into unconsciousness. The sound of his screams were horrifying. The smell of electricity and singed flesh filled the air. His handlers drug his limp body out of the gallery. She raced to exit her door.

****

The next day she waited a long time. He staggered in holding his side. He walked to the center of the room and laid on the mat. She inched closer to him sliding along the floor. Curiosity overwhelmed her fear. Eventually, she slid close enough to discover he was in a deep sleep. Emboldened, she crawled in for a closer look. He laid with his hands on his side. His forehead was wrinkled by deep creases. With his long hair back from his face she took a good look at him. 

He looked new to manhood. The skin on his face was smooth and pale like that of a boy. A boy in the body of a man. He did not look much older than her, she thought. She could not remember the last time she had seen anyone this close to her age. She continued her inspection. He had cuts on both hands and a fresh cut on his forehead. His mouth and jaw were swollen into an odd shape. The skin around the metal plates on his neck screamed dark red, blue and black. On his wrist and ankles were heavy leather bands with metal rings to use with chains – she touched them. 

She touched the harness, and ran her finger over the leather that crossed his chest by his heart. She closed in on him. Close enough to feel his breath and the warmth of his body. She touched his hair. She petted his hair. Her braid fell across his chest. She heard the handlers at his door and she skidded a respectable distance away. They drug him from the gallery by his harness. He did not wake. She felt afraid when his door slammed shut. She did not know why she felt fear. No one was doing anything to her.

****

The next day two handlers escorted him into the gallery. He stood in the middle of the room, spread his legs and raised his arms. The handlers removed his wrist and ankle cuffs, his harness and the collar of obedience. He drew in breath with a hiss, and his hands flew to the collar as it was removed. He placed his hands on his neck, folded over and breathed deep. 

He wore a shirt and slacks, his feet bare. Again, he laid on the floor, on the mat, but this time he held himself up on one elbow. He spoke to her. His voice was a whisper. He touched his throat as he spoke. He said he was asked to play a game with her. He explained the game to her. With his body alone, he said, he would put her into a trap, and she must find a way out of the trap. He waited, with patience, for her decision.

She thought of every way a game like that could cause her harm. She was suspicious, but he said right off it was a trap. She started her training at age 10, so she thought she was a pretty shifty character and could get out of any trap he could spring. She was intrigued by the puzzle. She was intrigued by a game. She agreed.

She sat on the mat beside him. Before she could draw a second breath, she was in a grappling hold. He put her into a simple scissor hold. He told her what she was in was called the beartrap. His thighs were like bands of steel covered with silicone that melded to her form. She could not move and inch. She squirmed. She fought. She used her legs to flip them over. She hit him. She pinched and scratched. She feigned fainting, and sickness, but the bands around her held. She knew if she could hit him in the throat he would let her loose but she could not reach. She broke out in a sweat. She pulled his toes. She pulled the hair on his legs. She tried to hit him in the groin; he stopped her from that. She spit. She clawed. She screamed for help. She cried real tears, and still the bands of his legs held her. She fought in waves until her face was red and moist with perspiration. 

He held his head in his hand with his elbow on the mat and rested with a look of encouragement on his face. She struggled until exhausted, rested, and tried again. Hours passed. His handlers entered, he rose, spread his legs, raised his arms, and he shut his eyes. The handlers cuffed him, replaced his harness and collar. With a long pole they hooked his harness and pushed him out of the gallery. She yelled after him: "What's the trick? What's the trick?"

****

In her room she thought of little else. What was the trick? The next day he entered with the handlers who unbound him, and he put her into a different hold she could not get out of. 

Russians love wrestling. In his many years of confinement he had not been beaten. He was taken out of a cryonic sleep chamber for one purpose, to instruct her in his area of expertise, grappling and the silent kill with hands or knives. Considering her special natural qualities these skills were seen as valuable and essential for their prize asset.

A week passed, only then did he begin to show her the escape routes. Every day a new hold and every day a secret way out of the hold. Every day he held her for hours in the hold. She lingered in the holds. She had no physical contact with anyone: that was a strict rule. She was comforted in some way by his body, his warm skin, his smell, his youth, the softness and strength of his musculature. But she was disturbed by a feeling, when she looked into his eyes there was no one home.

He felt he had caught a little bird he was forbidden to eat. She asked him his name. He looked away and did not answer. The intensity she had seen in his eyes melted into a sadness. She did not fear him. He looked to her like a large, sad baby that suffered a defect.

****

One day she did not struggle to get out of the submission hold he held her in. She laid peacefully, comfortably in his hold. She looked at him and she did not look away. 

After some time he tensed. "Ummmm," he murmured. His breath quickened and his muscles contracted involuntarily in a rhythmic way. His face flushed with arousal. He changed his hold on her, but this one was too tight. He spread her legs with his thighs.

"Ummmmm," she heard rumble out the back of his throat. His mouth opened wide but this time no sound emerged. He touched his mouth and pushed her aside. He paced around the room. All his muscles contracted and he held them taunt. 

"Arrgh," he growled. Like a wave, he ran his hands down his sides, hips and thighs. He looked at her like he had never seen her before. His pace quickened. He glanced at her again with fear in his eyes. She moved to the wall. 

"Grrrrr," again he growled loud. His face flushed. 

She felt he had lost his mind. 

"Arrggh," he screamed. He stood in the middle of the room and let out this roar at the top of his lungs, winding it out at the end. His gaze fixed on the end.

She covered her ears and backed into the corner. 

The veins on his arms, face and neck distended blue and red and he fell to his knees. 

She slid to the floor in the corner and shook her head. 

His handlers rushed in. He fought them. His rage made him strong. He threw them around like rag dolls. He roughed them up. He bloodied them. But his rage also made him dumb. He left himself open for abuse that they gladly piled on him, and they drug him from the room.

She yelled after them, "you're killing him." 

She screamed and stomped her feet and waved her tiny fists in the air. 

"You're killing him just like you did the others. You're killing him. Soon you'll have no American left to spy for you."

Military operatives joined the ruckus, glad to have a target for their frustration. They beat him into his cell, his cage and slammed the door. No light. No warmth. Just madness.

He paced in circles. He stood on one foot and then the other, over and over. He continued the vocalizations he started in the gallery: he moaned, he growled, he chirped in a high-pitched whine. He cried out. He shook the bars. He bit at the bars and growled. He bit his own hands and arms, not breaking the skin. He paced the few steps of the cell and turned and paced back and forth, back and forth. He rubbed his hands up his neck, behind his ears and pulled at his hair. Soon his fingers were full of hair and he brushed that off and went back for more. This behavior continued for hours until, in exhaustion, he slid down the bars, rocked himself and moaned. With each rock he hit the back of his head on the bars, again and again until the scientists who watched him on camera saw blood and they ordered the guards to bring him to the laboratory where he was restrained and mercifully drugged. 

The scientists found him to be emotionally unstable. He was confused in his associations, disoriented to time, place, and personal identity. He was paranoid. The military higher ups, who held the ultimate power in the facility, unhappy with his decompensation, called in an expert.

The military had a mess on their hands, and no one wanted to take responsibility. The facility did not want to face up to their treatment of the soldier. The scientists felt they had done nothing wrong. The prison guards were not to blame, they just followed orders, they said. The soldier's malfunction must be caused by the machine. Yes, of course, the machine. So they called in the scientist who designed the machine, Dr. Kodiak Vaterpezhekosma, an animal, and human behavior expert, to assess the situation, and reverse the downward spiral. The downward spiral all involved acknowledged would lead to the soldier's eminent death. If that happened the shit really would hit the fan.

The young scientist, Dr. Kodiak, as he preferred to be called, was bold, firm and thorough. He went all the way up the chain of command, and his recommendations became law. Dr. Kodiak explained the soldier had not simply been brainwashed, his mind had been emptied – erased. The machine was not to blame, per se, but the overuse of the machine was the cause of the soldier's regression. He had not regressed to an earlier stage of human function, he was regressed back beyond a child into an animal state, a distressed animal, a creature, back to the primordial. He did not know day from night, summer from winter, right from wrong, left from right. He had no identity. He had no point of reference.

Dr. Kodiak was adamant if the Russian military wanted their own super soldier program they must isolate the Hydra chemicals placed in this soldier's blood by the reluctant Nazi, Dr. Zola. They must discover why this particular soldier was stronger than every other soldier, and why this young man lived through what killed everyone else. When the Russian military have their own super soldiers they can throw them away when broken, treat them as deplorably as this soldier was treated, until then this soldier must be preserved. Treat a person like an animal, and an animal they will become. Take away the mind, and you have a monster. Strip away humanity and you have nothing. 

The obedience collar was never to be used again, along with the Taser gun, cattle prod, shackles, the harness, and something so appalling the Dr. had to ask what is was: a muzzle: the patient bites, he was told. The patient was to be moved from the jail cell. The collar was to be destroyed, and all research stopped. Research had been done for decades with similar collars on animals with well-documented conclusions. The obedience collar caused vasospasm, hypoxia and brain damage. Dr. Kodiak cautioned, given the severity of the soldier's condition, even if all his recommendations were followed to the letter the soldier may just be too far gone to come back. He may remain in the animal state he was in – permanently. Yes, the soldier could be disciplined but never tortured or brutalized. The soldier was not to be damaged. Damage to the soldier was punishable by death. The military powers that be granted this rule. The soldier was to be moved from the cell with no windows. 

****

After four long days of fighting the restraints the soldier was calm. Under the precise direction of Dr. Kodiak, a barracks room was adapted for the soldier's needs with camera, security and safety measures. The soldier slept his drugged sleep throughout the move and curled into the fetal position on the bed with limbs free at last. Dr. Kodiak slid the aluminum chair from the desk to the bedside and watched the soldier sleep. 

Kodiak had examined his patient's body when in restraints, and took note of the young man's physique. He was tall with muscular development to the optimum. Dr. Kodiak could give an anatomy lesson on this body, and point out and name every muscle, every ligament, even veins and bones. If you desired to create a template for the perfect super soldier, this is what you would get. Kodiak looked at the soldier's hands and feet, now at rest. Again, every muscle, every ligament could be seen and they were of such pleasant proportion they could be used as an artist model. Leonardo da Vinci's sketches of the male body came into Kodiak's mind. Kodiak admired this body, he wished it was his, considering his short squat physique. 

Yes, Kodiak did admired the soldiers body – a little too much. So much so, he defied even Soviet ethics. When he was alone in the laboratory with the soldier, with no witnesses, when the soldier was unconscious - he collected buccal swabs for DNA testing: blood, hair, skin, and fat cell samples - he even went as far as to collect bone marrow from the soldier's sternum. He carefully processed these samples and sent them on to the Red Herring Eugenics Department of the Union of Soviet Socialist Republic in Moscow. This was not the first time the soldier had been violated in this way. The first thing Dr. Zola did in 1943, as soon as he had possession of the soldier's remarkable body, at his first opportunity, he collected specimens against the soldier's will and processed them carefully.

But this was the first good look Dr. Kodiak had of his patients face, not contorted, not yelling out or fighting the restraints. The soldier appeared just out of adolescence. His body was muscled like a man, but his face was soft like a boy, evenly featured with sparse facial hair. The hair on his head was thick, brunet and unruly with a relaxed wave. The ends of the hair looked ripped off, broken off, at different lengths all over his head and his hair fell on his face and onto his shoulders. His skin was pale, a white Dr. Kodiak did not see in humans that had any blood in them. There was not a mark on him, no scars or signs of abuse. The marks on his neck from the obedience collar had faded to nothing. Dr. Kodiak made a note to himself to run some extra tests. A few hours later the soldier opened his eyes, rubbed his wrists and glanced around the room.

"Oh, there you are," Kodiak said, "you're going to be alright." Ever conscious of the bite warning. The scientist touched the soldier's arm reassuringly. 

Reflex snapped the soldier away from the touch and he brushed his arm with his hand as if to wipe off the fingerprints. He scooted far from the scientist until he was stuck up against the headboard.

"I'm not going to hurt you. Do you understand what I'm saying?" 

The soldier lay mute.

"Can you hear me?" Kodiak said with some frustration in his voice. 

The soldier moved his mouth, mimicking speech, but did not make a sound.

"Can you speak?" 

Again the soldier moved his mouth like words but was silent.

"Oh brother. You're not all there, are you?"

The soldier's eyelids fluttered and he nodded off.

"That's a good idea. Lay down and go back to sleep."  
Kodiak handed the soldier the blanket from the foot of the bed. The soldier accepted the blanket and folded and squeezed and kneaded the blanket between his fingers. 

"It's your blanket. It's a blanket," the scientist explained.

The soldier pressed the blanket between his fingers crushing the material with increased intensity. He opened his mouth and moved to put the blanket in his mouth bitting it.

"That's not food! Oh God, what damage did they do to you?" Shocked, the scientist grabbed the blanket out of the soldier's mouth.

The soldier resisted and held onto the blanket like it was his prize possession. His eyelids fluttered again, closed and sleep over took him. He held the blanket firmly in his hands. Kodiak placed his hand on the soldier's head and scanned his youthful face.

"I said you'd be okay and I'm going to see to it you are. I swear."  
Kodiak listened to the clock tick on the desk and watched out the window the sun fade to dusk.

The soldier sat up in the bed, saw his visitor and shoved himself to the wall, as far from the scientist as he could get. The soldier's large eyes widened. Dr. Kodiak noted the expressiveness of his patient's eyes. The traumatic history of the man was written across the eyes, all the mystery and pain. The soldier avoided eye contact and shielded his eyes from view as if in shame to show the world the horror he knew was there. He looked away. 

"It's okay. You're okay. You were injured. Can you understand?" There was no answer. "You were in an accident. You hurt your head."

The soldier felt his head with both hands. 

"No. On the inside." 

The soldier shrunk – hurt in the mind? Pain grimaced the soldier's face.

"You've lost your memory. You have amnesia."

The soldier clamped his eyes shut with all the muscles of his face, bared and gritted his teeth.

"You were in a bad accident but you'll be okay . . . in time."

The soldier opened his mouth wide. The muscles of his body tensed and a growl scratched from his lips.

"Argh," he vocalized in a high pitch the whine.

"NO, NO, NO! You don't have to do that anymore." 

The soldier stopped the racket.

"Look, my name is Kodiak. I am a doctor." He pointed to his ID badge. "I'm here to help you. I was called in especially for you. I'm not like the others. This is the room I got for you. Look here, you're on your bed, your very own bed." Kodiak shook the metal bed frame. 

"See? Bed, pillow, blanket, the whole works. And here's your window. See, the sun is setting, see it?" Kodiak pointed to the window with a mesh screen on the inside and bars on the outside. The soldier glanced around at the window.

"And this is your desk and your clock." Kodiak pointed to the wind up clock on the desk. 

"Look, it's 2100. You know what that is, right? And here's your watch." Kodiak held up a Swiss railroad watch. 

"Do you want to wear this?" 

The soldier's hand slid in the direction of the watch, his mouth opened and he stuck his tongue out. 

"Ah, well maybe you could wear it in the morning." Kodiak placed the watch out of reach and out of sight. The mouth closed.

"And look here's your paper and pencil. See here's your books, your calendar, see it's May 6th. That's the date May 6th and here's your radio." Kodiak turned on the radio and music filled the room. 

"Don't like that? Okay, I'll turn it off. And here's your bath, all yours." Kodiak flipped the light switch. 

"See here, your locker." 

The soldier relaxed and followed the tour. 

"Look, your shirts, socks and your boots, everything."

The soldier sat on the side of the bed, his attention wandered around the room. He had his blanket in his hands and he pressed the blanket again between his fingers and brought it to his mouth and licked it, sucked it and bit it. He looked at Kodiak.

"Stop, don't do that." Kodiak grabbed the blanket from the soldier's hands. The soldier let go and put the blanket down. They were communicating – in a way.

"Oh, look here. Here's the most important thing. Here is your schedule." Kodiak pointed out the schedule on the wall and the soldier's attention followed his finger. 

"See? Here is the list of your activities and appointments. See here it's 2100. You can see by the clock, so on the schedule at 2100, room time, bath, reading or writing. And 2200 sleep, see you go to bed. You follow the schedule to the letter, and everything will be okay, guaranteed."

The soldier stood at the bedside unrestrained. He seemed to expand like an accordion that could not stop unfolding. He looked big. He looked strong. He looked nuts. He seemed to fill the room. Perspiration broke out on Kodiak's forehead, and he inched towards the door.

"Am I making any sense to you?" 

The soldier made eye contact with Kodiak. His eyes were hot, mad.

"Great, I'll take that as a yes. Just look at your schedule, and follow what the schedule tells you to do and everything will be okay. Got it? See? Look – breakfast – 0700." 

Kodiak placed his hand behind his back on the door knob. "I'll be back to get you at 0700, and, and see the schedule even tells you how to dress. Tomorrow brown fatigues. See?" Kodiak sailed out the door.

The soldier followed the scientist to the door. To his amazement the door was not locked. He opened the door and saw two armed security guards standing at attention on either side of the door. The soldier took a few steps into the hall and watched Kodiak jaunt away.

"Go back in and do what the schedule tells you to do." One guard said in a baritone, per his orders. The soldier went in, as instructed. He opened and closed the door five or six times.

"Look, you can lock the door from the inside," said the guard. 

The soldier shut and locked the door. This really was his room. He tugged at the mesh on the window with all his strength; he was not getting out that way. He tried to touch the glass to open the window. He could not reach. He noticed an exhaust fan above the window and he flipped the switch. The sweet smell of summer night air filled the room, and the hum of the fan soothed the soldier. He watched the eastern colors and afterglow of the sunset. He heard the crickets, and frogs, and nocturnal animals. He made small clicks, and squeaks, and grunts to answer the calls of the night. He stretched his fingers through the metal mesh on the window to reach his friends. Soon, the sky was pitch black, and he turned back to the room. He tugged at the bed to move it closer to the window and saw the metal bed was bolted to the floor. So was the desk. The locker doors were removed and had no rod but shelves stocked with clothing, folded and stacked: shirts, slacks; T-shirts in white, hunter green and tawny brown; shorts, fatigue jacket, shoes, boots and a gray military sweater, all tucked into cubbyholes. The soldier ran his hand over the gray sweater.

A full bath was attached to the north wall of the room. The door was removed. The bath held the usual suspects but no shower curtain or rod there either. A cordless electric razor sat in it's charger built into the wall. An aluminum cup by the sink held a toothbrush and paste with an empty medicine cabinet above. The cabinet's glass mirror had been removed, and a sheet of metal had been added that distorted the features of any viewer. The soldier scanned every inch of the metal to find a spot to see himself clearly. He found one smooth spot on the side where he lingered hoping to recognize something he saw, but he did not. What he did recognize was a man. A man with blue eyes. Blue eyes that shinned like marbles. Human eyes. He knew that much. He touched his face and eyes to make sure they were his. He ran his hand over the white towel that laid by the tub. He touched and smelled the soap. He licked the soap and took a few bites at it and put it down.

He stopped by the desk and picked up the Swiss railroad watch. He took off his cyan blue scrub top, and squeezed the fluffy white pillow against his bare chest. He held the pillow in his arms, and laid on the bed. He laid with his head at the foot of the bed, looked out the dark window and watched the fan blades spin. The warm air circulated over his bare skin. He squeaked and chirped some responces to the ones outside, but it was the tick, tick, tick of the watch that lulled him to sleep: it sounded human.

****

The brilliant sun-stream through the window woke him. He stood with his arms outstretched, his fingers through the mesh, his chest pressed to the screen, and he watch the sunrise.

"Dr. Kodiak? Sir, you should see this. He hasn't moved for hours." said the lab tech who watched the soldier on the surveillance camera monitor. Kodiak joined him.

"Hum, I wonder . . . when was the last time he was exposed to sunlight?" Kodiak was nonchalant. "Anyone know the answer?" The room full of crew, medical, secretarial and military staff stood silent. 

"Someone look it up." Kodiak was firm. "When was the last time this human being in your care saw the sun? And look at these lab tests. This person is malnourished and there is only one explanation. He has been deprived of FOOD. If it was up to me everyone in this room would be taken out and shot." Dr. Kodiak screamed and stomped from the room.

Kodiak flipped his body around and banged around in the hall. His chin quivered, and he fought his emotions successfully. He took action. He went to the computer center and did some research. After about 45 minutes of reading between the lines, he discover the truth. The soldier had been regressed on purpose as an experiment in mind control. The alarm sound on his watch warned him it was 0700.

Kodiak let himself in the soldier's room with his passkey. The soldier did not move from his place at the window or acknowledge Kodiak's presence. Kodiak stood by the side of the window and took in the sight. The soldier's bare chest smashed against the metal, his arms stretched over the mesh, his face bathed in sunlight. He leaned into the metal mesh, to move through it, to reach the light. If Kodiak lived 1000 years he would not forget the look on the soldier's face. He did not want to forget. He wanted to remember this moment anytime he was asked to come up with some other enhanced interrogation method.

****

The soldier slipped on his scrub top, and he followed Kodiak to the mess hall. All other dinners passed through at 0500. The soldier played around with his food seemingly unaware what the food was for or what to do with the food. Frustrated, Kodiak popped an orange wedge into the soldier's mouth. 

The soldier held the slice in his mouth, made a face and pushed the piece out of his mouth with his tongue. He watched as the orange wedge hit the tray. He looked at Kodiak. He brushed his tongue with the fingertips of both hands a few times and played around with his tongue a bit. He wiped both hands on his upper chest. He rubbed one hand slowly across his chest. 

"Ah . . . ah," he said. 

His other hand wandered down his abdomen, pressing on himself. His hand slid under his waistband and disappeared between his legs. He arched his back. His eyes fluttered shut. 

"Ah, ah, ah," he moaned.

"What? What are you doing? You can't do that in here – you're in public man! NO - STOP IT! " Kodiak yelled. 

The soldier jerked to attention. 

"Really son, you're not ready to be out." Kodiak walked the soldier back to his room. 

"I'll be back at noon and we'll try again. Here, read your schedule. Do what's on the schedule, and everything will be okay." Kodiak's finger pecked on the schedule posted on the wall for emphasis.

The soldier spread his arms across the screen and faced the sun.

Dr. Kodiak shook his head and went back to the drawing board. He sent a nurse and a security guard with breakfast to hand feed the soldier. The nurse report read as follows:

'The patient is clearly responding to his own internal reality. He is however, pliable. If his head is lifted or his arm moved he will not resist. After four tries placing food in his mouth and simulating chewing he did chew, swallow and drink from a cup, albeit, highly distracted. After half the meal was consumed he anticipated the next bite of food and stayed on task until the bowl was empty. He made eye contact with each staff member. In fact, he lifted this nurses skirt and looked under the skirt and replaced the skirt as it was. My recommendation is short frequent reality-based interactions with gentle leading for grooming, dressing and other activities of daily living. Do not push. His mind is an open door with nothing inside. We, as Soviets, have an obligation and a responsibility to fill that mind properly. My prognosis is hopeful.'

Dr. Kodiak followed the nurse's advice. He sent the same nurse as much as possible, but the soldier was not coming along as fast as Kodiak hoped. After five days of a comfortable room, regular food, and no drugs the soldier remained non-verbal. He was orally fixated: he sucked his fingers, hands and arms. He bit himself frequently bearing down on himself and growling but did not break the skin. He vocalized his chirps and squeaks to the creatures he heard outside his window at night. He moaned, and rocked himself, and cried. He made a lot of noise at night, but he did not speak words. The sounds he made were not human. 

His sleep was disturbed. He watched the moon at night through the mesh screen, and reached out to the world outside the window. At sunrise he fell asleep not on the bed, but under the bed on the floor pressed up against the wall where no one could reach him. Patience eluded Kodiak, and he considered trying an experimental drug to help the soldier integrate.

On the sixth night the soldier slept on the bed. When he woke, he looked at the schedule, 0600, bath, it read. He filled the bathtub with hot water, took off his clothing, and stepped into the bath. He dressed appropriately in fatigues and boots and strapped his Swiss railroad watch to his wrist. He stood by the window when Kodiak came for him at 0700.

"Well, look at you," Kodiak grinned.

The soldier pointed to the camera in the corner. "Watch out."

"No, that's me. That's me watching you . . . for your safety."

"Are you going to stop my heart?" The soldier spoke in Russian.

"Oh my God, of course not, no. We are not going to hurt you, I mean, I am not going to hurt you. Where did you get such a crazy idea?" Kodiak sounded innocent but he looked guilty. He knew damn well where the soldier got such a crazy idea, the scientists had, in fact, stopped his heart, in a well documented hypothermia experiment. 

"Are you going to harvest my organs?" The soldier made direct eye contact with Dr. Kodiak, and the volume of his voice increased. "Are you going to take more from me?" He touched the center of his chest – still sore from the bone marrow extraction.

"No, never. I mean . . . all I'm going to do is take you to breakfast. Can you trust me that far? Can you trust me a little? Just breakfast?"

The soldier rested one hand on the mesh screen. His other hand held up his pants. He glanced at the problem.

"Oh, I see." Kodiak removed his belt with a metal buckle in the shape of a bear and handed the belt to the soldier who put it on. Kodiak knew this was against the rules but he did it anyway.

The soldier sat in the mess hall and sipped his coffee and dipped his toast into his runny eggs. His denim blue eyes were clear and receptive. The indoctrination began. He needed an identity and an identity they would give, lies of course, but even lies have substance.

He was told his name was Soldier (these Russians had no imagination). He was told he was a Russian Army officer, a gentleman, who was injured and had amnesia. He was told his memory would return, maybe a little at a time or maybe all at once. He was told to write down every memory, every dream, daydream, and thought he had. Nothing was considered insignificant. He was told to turn in his writings every morning. He was told to follow the schedule, to concentrate on the schedule, and if he followed the schedule, everything would turn out okay. He was told he was being trained for an important task. He was told he was special. He was told he had unique skills, some natural, and some acquired by scientific manipulation. He was told he was important to the plan, essential even. He was told he was needed. He was told these things over and over again.

****

After three weeks, the change in Soldier was significant. So much so he was ordered to resume his training of her. Even this training session was strictly structure to the minute. Soldier followed the time schedule with his Swiss watch. 

She radiated a big smile when she saw him dressed in fatigues, clean-shaven, bright eyed, without a mark of violence on his body. She ran to him. He greeted her formally. He took off his fatigue jacket, his boots, socks, and his belt with the bear buckle. He wore a brown T-shirt; the fabric was stretched by the muscles across his chest and upper arms. She projected a smile on to him, but he did not actually smile at her.

The schedule dictated a warm-up with Kendo sticks before grappling. He was formal, polite, and stuck strictly to the schedule. 

She loved Kendo in which she was proficient. Unable to get out of his grappling hold, she love to beat him down to the ground with the stick. The day he yelled, 'STOP' was one of the best days of her young life. She knew he liked Kendo; he let them go overtime almost every day. He was not holding back, she was formidable, and frequently caught him off guard with her inventive moves, and whacked him hard. Kendo rules are in place for good reason. There are places on the body when hit with the stick are excruciatingly painful: even used in torture. Success here gave her a confidence boost that carried over to the grappling. There was a playfulness to their work with the sticks mixed with a brutality that left them with many large bruises. Neither saw any contradiction between the pleasure and painful aspects of this behavior. 

After six full weeks of following the schedule he went off script and blurted out to her, with pride:  
"My name is Soldier. I'm a Russian, like you. I have amnesia."

"Amnesia, amnesia? You've been brainwashed. I saw. You have to remember the machine. The Mind Crown?" she said. 

She stabbed him with the words Mind Crown.

"That was real?" he shuttered. "No . . . no that couldn't have been real." After a long pause he admitted he thought he dreamed the machine – at night – alone – when he suffocated. 

"And soldier is not a name. And you're not a Russian. You're an American."

"What's that? "

"You know. Land of the free? Home of the brave?"

He was confused. This mixed him up. He told her it could not be true, so she spoke to him in American English, and he answered in the same. He became suspicious of everything they told him. He did not sleep well that night. He looked at the spot on the mirror where he could see himself, to see his blue eyes. Land of the free – land of the free, ran through his mind as the shadows from the bars on his window fell across the room. 

In his indoctrination session the next day he told them he was mixed up. Dr. Kodiak covered this discrepancy with yet another lie. 

"The truth is we don't know who you are or where you come from. We assumed by your countenance that you were a Russian military officer. An officer and a gentleman."

"But I speak English." Soldier said in English.

Kodiak spoke to him in French and Soldier answered in French. Kodiak spoke to him in fluent German and the soldier answered in German. He covered his eyes with his hands.

"Only an officer would have that kind of an education. Understand? You came here at the same time as a group of Americans. She doesn't know. She's a child," Kodiak explained. "Sure, we used the machine on you. We use the machine to try to jog your memory. But sadly, it did not work. Please, continue to write your thoughts, memories and dreams. You are doing well. You're making good progress, so please, follow the schedule to the letter. If you do this you will be less confused. Guaranteed."

He went on with his day. He thought he was okay, but at the end of the day he held her in a tight submission hold. He held her a long time. She struggled to escape. Even her screams did not prompt him to let her loose. Her handler entered and attempted to physically pry her from him. He let her loose and put her handler in the same hold. He roughed him up a bit and choked him, but not to death. The skirmish lasted only a few minutes, but it was enough for Soldier to spend the night in his old cell. He did not like that. 

The next day he was instructed to ask for what he needs. So, he told them he needed no one to touch her. That was the rule. The handler had broken the rule. From then on her handler stood by the door and waited for him to completed his instruction.

****

Things proceeded smoothly for six weeks. Soldier's behavior continued to progress. Following the schedule to the letter did decrease his anxieties. He was physically in better health, psychologically more managed, and more manageable. He now had something to lose. He went to indoctrination sessions daily. He wrote every evening on his paper, whatever little thought, or feeling he managed to organize in his mind, he put to paper, and turned in. 

They wanted him to write his memories. He had no memories. He thought of memories. He questioned what memories were. He didn't know what they were. 

Kodiak, assessing his orientation, asked what language he wrote in. What language was there on the paper? The soldier said Russian. But what was on the paper was English. 

He gave his blood samples freely to the scientist without the need of force by mechanical means or drugs which were uncontrolled variables that confounded their research in the past. The scientists were ecstatic. Now, they could isolate the super soldier serum and create a race of super soldiers of their own.

One morning they warmed up with Kendo. They played hard. They hit each other's stick with fierce abandon. He hit her in an unauthorized location. He stopped immediately and bowed a formal apology.

She felt heat rise in her abdomen. The heat streaked up her chest, and up both sides of her neck. She felt her face flush. When the red heat hit her brain she was furious. He turned to walk away. She swung her stick and hit him as hard as she could on the back of his knees, another unauthorized location, but she did not apologize. She caught him off balance, and with a verbal wince of pain, he buckled. She flew like lightening, and with the opposite end of the stick hit him across the face, yet another out of bounds area. His head whiplashed, and hit the floor before the rest of his body. This sounded similar to a bowling ball being rolled off the top of a 15 foot ladder. He did not stir. She pounded her stick on the floor, and resumed a defensive stance, ready for him to spring into action and fight her. Her chest rose and fell rapidly. Her anger unbalanced her. 

"Get up you big sad baby," she yelled. 

He did not move. She inched closer and saw blood on his face. She felt anger, experienced the emotion and acted on it. She no longer felt defenseless. She stood breathing off the residue of her outburst, feeling a moment of power. As with all strong emotions when you get one stirred up it's easy to jump on to another. She did not mean to damage him. She dropped the stick and slid on her knees to his side. There was too much blood on the tile floor. She felt all around his head, expecting his head to be cracked open like a mellon. His skull was intact. She put an ear to his chest and heard a beating heart. He bled from his forehead, bridge of his nose, his nose and his cheekbone where the Kendo stick whacked him across his face. She cupped his face in her hands and cried: "Soldier, Soldier." He did not move. 

Things crossed her mind, like the camera that watched, the no harm rule, and what his response would be when he regained consciousness. She laid over him and cried. She felt his shoulder move, again she held his head and cried for him to wake. He opened his eyes and jerked back from her; the look of caring on her face was foreign to him. Her face was so close to his he could feel her breath. 

"Soldier, Soldier," she said softly and she shut her eyes and her tears fell on his face and lips. He pressed his lips together, taking in the salty liquid. She held him firm and he softened under her gaze. He touched his face and glanced at the blood on his fingers. She moved away and he violently pulled her back, splattering his blood on her face and hair. He luxuriated in eye contact with her and he wanted that contact back. 

"Soldier . . . my soldier," she whispered. 

She held him like the machine but where it emptied – she filled.

It hit them like a thermonuclear explosion, a brilliant flash of light followed by a slow roll out of brightness that moved into them, through them and consumed them. The light filled the margins of the room. They saw the universe in each other's eyes. They had never seen light before. They had never heard sound, tasted sweetness or felt anything soft before that moment. Father time, turned and glanced at their birth. The light filled the yard, burst the stratosphere and continues to this day, on a path across the universe.

They sat on the mat facing each other when the handlers entered the room. He played with the coil of her hair and slid it around on the floor with his finger.

"My sister has hair as long as yours," he looked at her with eyes like the blue lakes that had no bottom.

"What's her name?" she asked.

He glanced around the room and return to her. He shook his head. He didn't know. Without breaking eye contact with her, he went to the door, and bragged to the handlers about how well she was doing in her training. So well she knocked him out cold. His body language was loose with the guards. He pointed out his smashed up face, and asked for more time because he had been unconscious for so long. He relaxed with the security, and they snickered like men do with their inside jokes. He noted the time on his watch and checked the schedule.

"Hand to hand combat," he said to her and he took a defensive stance. They fought like robots never breaking eye contact. When skin touched skin they lingered as if magnetized, attracted like static. Their motions softened and slowed and flowed into a bruital ballet, a dance of survival.

The tie at the end of her braid slipped to the floor. The braid unraveled little by little, move by move, flip by flip. The braid uncoiled, and blossomed into a million moving tentacles that sailed through the air and entangled the hands and arms and body of Soldier. He tried to catch the red hair with his hands only to have the hairs silky texture slide through his fingers like seagrass through a wave. Her hair brushed past his face. He lost track of time.

Eventually, they were separated when the handlers insisted. 

She did not sleep. She did what she had to do to learn where the dead spaces were on the gallery cameras. There were three. They could be alone for a moment without alarming suspicion.

In his room the moonlight, diffused by clouds, spread warmth to every corner. He touched everything that belong to him. His shirts, his watch, his papers on the desk he wrote upon. He pressed his face onto the soft white towel in the bathroom, his longing unbearable. He looked up from the towel and saw his face in the metal mirror. He knew what had to be done. He must intensify her training. She must become lethal. She must become feared. She must become so deadly no one in the world would dare touch her. Not one person in the whole world. Word would spread that she bested him. He would fuel that flame. He wanted her reputation to be one of the most deadly people on the planet. He wanted this be a reality. He was an animal in a world of animals, kill or be killed. This was his best shot to protect her, the only way she could be his. He feared he may never see her again. These thoughts kept him from sleep.

At the scheduled time he found her waiting by her door. They met in the middle of the gallery. She gripped his arm and shoved him into one of the dead spaces.

"The camera can't see us here," she said. 

He scanned the room suspiciously. Boldly, she moved right into his personal space but since he had poor boundaries all he did was raise his hands. She put her arms around his waist and slid them up his back. She forced her body to his chest. He felt her warm body on his. The fragrance of her hair hit him like a drug. Slowly, he encircled her tiny body with his arms and he held her. She turned her face up to his and he gazed into her eyes. Her eyes shined like stars, like his. The room became bright. The world fell away. It was true what happened to them. It was real. He hugged her face to his chest and looked into her eyes again. He could not stand the moments their eyes were parted. 

She held him tight and advanced to kiss him on the mouth. He jerked his face away.

"You're not anywhere near the age of consent."

"I've kissed boys before." Slid out of her mouth without her lips moving.

"You don't know what I am. I'm sure no boy, and you're a child."

She gripped him again, and headed for his mouth. He held her face.

"My love for you requires I protect you from that."

"Not from you."

"Especially from me." 

Yet again, she pulled at him.

"Here's the kiss you get," and he kissed her on the forehead like an uncle. Her hair, her skin, her warmth, her scent, her eyes were all gateway drugs. Her mouth was the bomb. Her lips parted like a door opening to the other side, a place from which he knew if he entered he would never return. Her lips parted and they became the world. He kissed her again on the forehead but lingered – that was no uncle. He kissed her again all around, around her face, her cheeks, her neck. His face flushed red and warm. He felt things. Not anger or fear but other things, powerful things, things more powerful than anger or fear. 

He could not stop. Around her face he went again, avoiding her lips. He kissed her again and again right by her lips but not on her lips. How could he have misjudged the situation so, it was already too late. He slid his hand up her back, and held her body tight to his chest. He spread his fingers under the nape of her neck and held her head by her braid; his fingers firmly intertwined in her hair. He jerked her head back by her hair and kissed her neck. He opened his mouth wide and placed his teeth on the skin of her neck and applied pressure. He clamped his teeth until he felt her tense and try to pull away. Until he felt the skin give way. Until he tasted blood. He did not know why he did this – to scare her off him? But she did not let go of him. She saw him, she wanted him, she had him and she was not letting go of him.

They heard the handlers at the door. When the handlers could see, he threw her down to the ground by her braid. From the ground she scissor kicked his legs and he fell to one knee and the fight was on. She sprang to attention, side kicked him the rest of the way to the ground. She grabbed a Kendo stick, he disarmed her, she grabbed another. They put on a dramatic show for the handlers who laughed, and ooed and ahed, until they grew tired and wandered off. 

The scent of the handlers had not left the room when the pair were back in the dead space. She laced her fingers around the back of his neck this time and drew him close to her. He resisted but soon saw she was headed for his ear. She drew him in and whispered the locations of each dead space in the room. They could disappear into these spaces for short periods to communicate verbally or by touch. They discussed what language their captors would have the most trouble deciphering. English was out, too much TV. French? Hardly anyone spoke French in Russia anymore, that was a possibility. German? The Russians hated the Germans. He nixed that, too much Hydra. Spanish? Esperanto? Klingon? He drew back from her and slowly signed to her in American sign language. She spelled out the letters BINGO in the same.

'We must escape,' she signed.

'Agreed,' he signed to her, 'but not until you can kill.'

'I can – I have.'

He erased what he signed by waving his hands in the air and re-signed:

'Not until you can kill – me.'

She was silent. She looked dubious. There were only a handful of people on the planet that stood and even chance against this particular soldier. He continued to convince.

'They will hunt us. They will hunt us,' he drew in the air with his finger the symbol for infinity and slowed on the second go around.

In no time they developed their own sign language, a crazy mixture of many languages that would be impossible for anyone to figure out. They could communicate anywhere in the room without fear.

He veered off the schedule. He taught her another area of his expertise, how to kill without making a sound, with hands, and specifically for her, knives. He showed her where on the body to cut arteries, carotid, femoral, vena cava. He taught blade sizes, the width to penetrate the rib cage. The length of knives needed to pierce the heart or lungs through layers of clothing, summer and winter. He taught her how to hold the body and wait for death: how death moved across the body; what signs to watch for to be sure it was completed; how to lay the body down silently, no matter the size. After this, she realized the seriousness of their situation.

The escalation of her training was exhaustive. He insisted on covering every conceivable scenario. He enlisted others. He demanded. He argued his point. He farmed her out to expert's in diverse fields. Some of his demands did not seem rational. They humored him. They saw this behavior as a dramatic improvement. He took ownership of something, therefore, he had something to lose. They saw his behavior as hinting at working with them not against them. They saw in him movement that may herald their complete control over him. He continued to go to indoctrination sessions. 

The training ended the day they pushed a mission on him, a raid, set for less than 24 hours. He would not cooperate. He had never cooperated. They always had to resort to the machine. 

He paced in his room, into the bath, out to the bed and back into the bath. He paced this loop for hours. He could not concentrate. He could not follow a train of thought. He had a big problem. He had solved problems before. Facing reality was a good place to start. No matter how much he thought in a straight line, or what solutions he thought up, or what he did, or how much he paced in his room, dawn would break and they would come and drag him to the machine. He would be prepped for the mission. They would take his mind. They would wash his mind clean of any resistance and along with it any memory of her. There would not be a damn thing Dr. Kodiak could do about it. 

Once he allowed himself to think of the reality of his situation, he became enraged. He noticed his rapid breath. He felt his heartbeat, it beat too fast. He could feel the pulse in his neck and hear a swish as the blood rushed past his ear drums.

Darkness crept into the room. Shadows and shapes in the corners took on sinister qualities. He turned on all the lights. He got a drink of water in his aluminum cup. He stood at his desk and touched his paper and pencils. He sat on his aluminum chair to write on his paper, to organize, but his hand shook, and he could not organize his thoughts. 

The lights seemed too bright. He flipped them off. The fan sounded shrill, like a crazy screech. The shadow of the bars crossed the room. He backed into a corner. He jumped to the window and turned off the fan. The shadow of the bars crossed his face. He could see them on his body. He had been captive many years, but he had never felt this trapped. The bars penetrated him. He felt them pass through him for he could see them intact on the other wall. He knew it was a hallucination. He felt it was a hallucination. He hoped it was a hallucination. He questioned reality. 

He hooked his fingers into the grid on the window and stared at the cloud covered moon. He heard the shriek of a nocturnal animal. A shutter passed through his body as he witnessed the kill. He saw the animal, with eyes like his, on fire; the animals burned with hunger, his burned with desire. He raged the kind of rage that could scorch the ground, that could turn the Earth into a burned out cinder. The kind of rage that consumed and caused good men to ruin themselves. He raged on into the night. 

With the dawn came the bird songs. He understood their calls as clearly as if they were speaking English. He was calm. He knew what he had to do and it was far worse than destroy the earth or himself – he cooperated. They processed his body, they controlled his mind, and now they had his soul. His resistance was the last piece of himself, his last bit of identity. 

He told them they did not need to use the machine and he would prove it. Not only would he cooperate he would help them. He gave them ideas, suggested improvements. He seemed strong and fierce in his convictions. He interrupted. He intruded on their personal space until they felt intimidated and backed up from him. He made direct eye contact until they looked away. He swaggered. He displayed complete confidence in his powers. How did they not see he was out of his mind? They ate it up. They loved it. They were Russian and they had won. 

****

The mission was a disaster. He made mistakes. He could not concentrate. A young soldier surrendered to him, and he held his fire. He told them it was a misfire. Make no mistake, they would never accept that excuse again. He saw flashes of images he did not understand. That kind of thing can drive one mad. He was mad. He shook. He was told they needed to go again in the morning to fix the mess of that day. They said since he was cooperative she would go with them. 

He knew they had one chance and that was to run. Pacing in his room, dreaming while awake, fighting to keep a single sentence from collapsing in his mind, he rationalized his decision. There was a river close to the staging area. If they could get to the river they would have a pretty good chance. As soon as they were armed, and yes, he would ask to be heavily armed, they would make their move. They had surprise on their side. The mission was destined for disaster. Complex operations took months to plan, not less than 24 hours. Signing to her on the staging platform sounded feasible, if not, he knew if he moved she would follow. She wanted to run months ago. His confidence grew, his plan simple: kill everyone. 

In the morning he gave them the same malarkey as the day before with the same results. The day was gray with fog, mist and occasional drizzle. He could not have asked for better weather. He smiled. When he saw her, a calmness washed over him and he felt sane. Too bad the feeling did not last. He signed to her they would run to the river. She made one motion – a thumb up in the air. She asked for more ammunition. He smiled again. He could not take his eyes off her. She was majestic.

The moment they were armed they walked together, in the direction of the river. They walked as far as they could go until they heard a rustle of decent, followed by shouts to stop. They turned, and opened fire. He knelt on one knee in front of her, and she fired over his head, and they blanketed the 180° in front of them with bullets. The area cleared quick. They retreated towards the river, and fired bursts as they went. She was fierce. He was focused. They backed toward the river. Resistance was low. They increased their pace and confidence. 

Another child soldier entered his gunsight. He hesitated a fraction of a second, a split-second only and the youth panicked and fired twice. He hit Soldier with both bullets.

The first shot hit him deep in his chest. The second shot spun him around 360° to his hands and knees. His rifle flew out of his hands and spun across the pavement, like a top gone berserk. The second bullet hit metal on his gun holster causing much less damage than the first. On his hands and knees he placed his hand to his chest. Bright red blood dripped a steady flow through his fingers onto the pavement. Her shock stopped her long enough to be grabbed from behind and subdued. 

The field commander shouted 'cease-fire ' and discharged a flare into the air as he marched towards the scene drawing his side arm. He approached the youth that fired, drew his pistol with flourish and pointed the gun at the youth. With his arm fully extended, feet wide apart, he fired, killing the youth execution style. Soldier watched the murder. Below him the pool of blood on the pavement expanded with each heartbeat. The field commander, with gun in hand, approached. The words coup de grace entered Soldier's mind and he instinctively snapped a grenade off his belt. He held the grenade in his hand with his thumb in the clip and placed his hand over his heart. His arm failed him and he fell to his shoulder and hip. The field commander's deliberate approach froze when he saw the grenade. The commander shook his head and spoke to Soldier in English.

"You die, I die," he added, "let me look." The commander took the grenade from Soldier's hand and rolled it down the pavement. He helped Soldier to his back, a position of submission dreaded by every soldier since time began. Even so injured he could not tolerate this position and he bent his knees and put his booted feet firmly on the ground. He closed his eyes when he saw the look of horror on the commander's face after he witnessed the extent of the damage done.

A gentle rain fell on Soldier's face. He stared up into the raindrops and pressed his lips together, for a taste, as he had tasted her tears such a short time ago. He could smell the lingering residue of gun fire, but it was her screams that filled his senses. He cried out as loud as he could, 'let her come to me' but no sound passed his lips. He fought to bring air into his lungs but little entered. He judged he had only minutes before so much of his blood spilled on the pavement there would be no way back. If he died, if this was death, he had no regrets. If he died, he would die remembering her.

The medics were on him. The commander on his knees by his side. The raindrops sparkled like diamonds as they cut through the fog and her cry . . . or was that call the shrieks of the Valkyrie as they formed in the mist and fog above his head. He floated. He did not need breath or a heartbeat.

The commander urged on the medical team. They could pump his heart for him, force oxygen into his lungs, drip blood and fluids into his body but there was nothing to be done about the brain. When the brain died that was the end. The commander asked for a pupil check. The medic checked with his penlight and re-checked paused, and shook his head. The commander grabbed the medic by his shirt, pulled him close.

"He is dead, Sir." The medic was emphatic. 

The commander held him tight and whispered to him in stern Russian, "treat him as if they react, treat him as if he were alive."

The medic lied to the team when he called out, 'pupils equal and react to light'. The medics continued the heroic rescue attempt. 

Two helicopters approached the field and kicked up mist and rain sprays. She screamed and fought as they drug her to a helicopter. She cried and begged to be allowed to go to him. She said anything, she promised anything, to go to him for a moment. They forced her onto the helicopter. She pressed herself against the glass window and watched as Soldier was transferred to the medevac copter. She had seen dead bodies before and she knew in her heart she was seeing another; she knew he had bled to death on the pavement. His skin was grey and slate blue – a sickening color. He did not move, but they made him move and worked on him frantically. They attached him to a machine she did not recognize. The helicopters dusted off in unison and hovered for a time, together, above the scene.

She strained to identify any hopeful activity inside his helicopter. She moved from one seat to the other for a better view. The copters drifted apart. She felt a pull on her chest and she cried out in pain. She pounded her fists and her head on the glass window. The farther the medevac moved from her, the stronger the pull on her chest until she felt her rib cage was being pulled from the meat and flesh of her body. She yelled out in pain and held her hands over her chest to keep it in place. Blood broke out on her knuckles. Blood erupted on her forehead and trickled down her face. When his helicopter was out of sight she stopped. She stopped dead. She was dead. She turned from the window, sat motionless and stared straight ahead. She saw nothing. She felt nothing. Not fear of pain. Not fear of death. You cannot kill what is already dead. She remained in that state for the next 20 years.

As soon as they felt the procedure would not kill him they took his memory.

She was taken to a hospital that specialized in women's issues and was summarily sterilized. She was 14 years old.

The light from the flash that ignited their love travels across the universe.

IN THE FUTURE

Tony Stark was the master of the world. All that moved was relative to him. The world was a creation from his mind and moved by his design. There was little he did not have some control over: the tides of the ocean; the weather; the rising and setting of the sun. There was no movement of product, or building, or war, or flow of water through pipes that he did not have his hand in. There was no man on earth he could not manipulate and no woman he could not bed. He lived with the spoils and consequences of his labor. He was the richest, the smartest, and the most handsome man on the planet earth, or so he thought. He was just not the tallest. He cringed at men taller than himself. As a child playing in a field; he'd cut down any weed that grew over his head. If he was not the tallest in stature he wanted to be the biggest or tallest in some other way: a big heart, a mountainous spirit, the biggest contributor, the first in show. But, something held him back from the growth he desired. Something pulled at him, tasked him, and kept him locked in a selfperpetuating spiral of guilt, remorse, hatred and vengeance; negative feelings, bad feelings that consumed, and twisted rational thought. And all this over the one area in Tony's life he had no control – his parents death. 

This subject, these feelings prompted Tony to do something he never did; he sat at his desk with his head in one hand and Steve's letter in the other, he stared out the window, and daydreamed. He daydreamed his old reliable daydream. He daydreamed about killing Bucky, and oh how he wanted to kill Bucky. The feeling came from the lowest part of his spine, lower than that, back to the primitive ooze that created life. He wanted to kill him. The video seared in his mind like a hot poker of a brand he could not remove. Bucky would be hard to kill but he could be tricked. Tony knew the weakest part of him was his mind. Tony let this scenario play out in the daydream. 

He would kill Barnes without honor. He did not care, he would dismember him, burn him, eviscerate him. He would crush his skull and watch the aftermath. He would strangle, torture and disrespect the limp lifeless body. These feelings, these daydreams, ran their course and dissipated but right behind them – next up – was Steve's reaction. The look on Steve's face when he saw what Tony had done to his friend. And the look on Pepper's face, on Nat's face, Banner's face, Thor's face, and on, and on, and on. This issue was out of control and Tony wanted control. Tony shook off the fantasy, put down Steve's letter and paced around the room. It was all so complicated. 

Tony knew Hydra was responsible for his parent's death. He knew Barnes was brainwashed. He saw him that way first hand. Tony had feelings of compassion even sympathy for someone so manipulated and anger at the abuser. Tony opened Steve's letter again. Then there was Steve's unwavering faith in the guy, faith and believe that there was a viable human in Barnes that was worth saving. Steve had faith even in Tony to do the right thing. All this intellectualizing did not negate the fact that even if a puppet; Tony wanted to smash that puppet into dust and watch it burn in hell for eternity. He wanted to kill with his bare hands and watch life leave the body to the last heartbeat. He wanted to stand over him and yell the Klingon death scream to herald Bucky's arrival into the afterlife. Tony spiraled down the rabbit hole again.

"NO MORE!" Tony said out loud, leaving his swirling mass of confused emotions behind. These bad, bad feelings ate his psyche like maggots and they pushed him into action, into immediate, decisive, conclusive action. 

It took months for Tony to get to this place. Months alone rattling around the mansion. Months without his friends and coworkers. Months to distill his conflicting emotions down to the essence. The essence of which was, Steve Rogers, Captain America, his friendship, his leadership, the balance he gave to Tony's life, was not an option. Steve was essential. Only then, did the internal conflict become clear. The battle between Tony's two driving desires. Once identified and once Tony accepted these facts he was able to formulate a plan.

"Jarvis, open a new file titled Winter Soldier Investigation. Assemble all data on the Russian Winter Soldier Program starting with the S.H.I.E.L.D. files. Keyword search, the winter soldier, James Barnes, Bucky, or Bucky Barnes. Yeah, we will be hacking Russian computers. I know we all love to do that. We'll need operatives on the ground. The information I need goes back to 1943. I want all hardcopies. Microfilm. Surveillance video. Training videos. All scientific data. Experiments. Documents. I want every scrap of information possible. See what assets we have in this area. I'll need some help with the Russian hacking. See who's available. I'll do the CIA, FBI, and NSA from here. Top priority. Thoroughness has precedence over expediency please."

"Processing," Jarvis said in his overly polite, heavily accented metallic voice.

"When you get around to it – tell me how long you calculate this is gonna take?

"What is the purpose of the Winter Soldier Investigation?"

"To prove intrinsic culpability and to learn how the hell they brainwashed the guy."

"1.5 years to 2 years."

"Great. I thought you'd say 5 years."

Tony sighed with relief. Effervescence filled his head. Tony turned his back on his daydreaming window. Future focused, Tony did a little inventory of his own. He was in possession of a VHS cassette, analog video recording of a double homicide. No need to see that again. He had a red notebook with a star on the front; definitely on his reading list for bedtime. He had 20 assorted boxing crates full of Russian trash: he would go through that. He had a severed bionic arm that he will disassemble pronto and make a detailed report to himself. And he had a shield made of Vibranium that leaned on the side of his desk. He touched the top of the shield with his hand and ran his fingers over the scratches and dents on the front. He put his arm through the 75 year old leather straps his father added so long ago. The earthy smell of the leather filled his head. He wrapped his arm around the front of the shield and clutched the shield firmly to his body. His father made this shield. Tony's resolve burned in him as strong as Vibranium.

TWO YEARS LATER

Tony leaked to the press that he was going into seclusion. The press reported that he had become a recluse. He installed a hologram of himself that wandered around the mansion on a timer, for anyone who care to look. In reality, Tony resided in what he called his summer home or the basement. Located on the grounds of his wrecked Malibu home this massive underground structure, all five floors, had been maintained, restored, and upgraded to become a world-class residence/Research Center that was totally off grid and top secret. The southern face of the subterranean cliff structure overlooked an inlet – an estuary to be exact. The west side overlooked the grand Pacific ocean. The south and west walls were all windowed, with duck blind hologram. One could see out but no one could see in. Deep inside the cliff was the residence, research and work rooms. It was quite a hobbit hole. Above ground, up top, as Tony called it, from cliffside to cliffside sat 40 acres of solar panels. A 15 foot electric fence topped with barbed wire encircled the whole enclave. A large sign on the gate read in ornate letters SOLARIS and then in plain text Solar Power Research Facility. Private property. Keep out. Trespassers will be prosecuted. Smaller signs dotted the fence read in large print, electric fence, solar powered by Solaris. Solaris was in no way a MacGuffin of any type. Tony was off grid at Solaris and needed and used all the electricity he could generate for the secret underground facilities staggering power needs. Tony even drilled for his own water.

The gate lead to an unassuming ranch-house, nestled within the solar panels that served as a delivery center/cargo bay. Up top, north of the solar panels was an airstrip and hanger housing Tony's Learjet, a vintage Piper Cub and an experimental solar airplane. Tony Stark and Bruce Banner, accompanied by a fleet of Tony's personal robots and of course, Jarvis, had worked at Solaris for two years on the Winter Soldier Investigation and they were finally ready to send for Steve Rogers.

Escorted by one of Tony's personal robots, Rogers entered the living room of Solaris. The room was cozy, for Tony, with high ceilings and windows floor to ceiling on two sides. There were no curtains or blinds on the windows. Tony had developed a glass that, on a dimmer switch darkened, with a range from clear glass to pitch black – patent pending.

The Pacific ocean visually and sonically dominated the atmosphere of the room. Steve could hear it beating away out there as if to say, 'I'm the biggest, I'm the strongest, I'm relentless.' Although 40 feet above the beach it seemed they were sitting right on the beach.

Tony stood in front of a massive fireplace rearranging things on the mantle: a magnum of wine, two glasses, a statue that looked like an exact replica of the Maltese falcon, and an Oscar. One of the items Tony fiddled with was Steve's letter. Tony made brief eye contact with Steve.

"Thanks for coming."

Steve offered his hand. "It's good to see you, Tony."

The men shook hands and made a bit longer eye contact. Their expressions were sober.

Tony directed Steve to an uncharacteristically comfortable looking sofa. Tony's penchant for modernism over comfort was not seen in this home. Tony turned his back on Steve and continue to fool around with the things on the mantle. He held up Steve's letter so Steve could see and tapped it twice on the mantle and laid it down. The fire raged below him.

"I've come to realize," Tony pointed to Steve's letter. "That this is the issue that will define my life. I've asked you here to give me the information I need to do the right thing."

"I will ... if I can."

As Tony spoke he open the bottle of wine, looked the cork over, squeezed it between his fingers and did all the customary, blah, blah, blah to open the wine properly. Tony made a surprised happy face when he tasted the wine. He passed a glass to Steve who tasted and said, "Delicious." Tony continued:

"I need to know about James Barnes."

Steve choked on the wine.

"I mean, before all this. What kind of a guy was he? You knew him like a brother. Only you can tell me." There was a tentativeness about Tony that confused Steve.

"I'm really not understanding this."

"Indulge me, Steve, tell me what I need to know." Tony's voice did not ask. Steve like this approach better. Tony sounded more like himself. 

Steve hesitated but said, "Okay, fine. Like what? Like where? From the beginning?"

"Yeah," Tony said, "from the beginning."

Steve took a few gulps of the exceptionally good wine, relax a bit and started out.

"The beginning is, oh geez. Well, you know our mothers were good friends."

"I didn't know that."

"They were in high school together. I am pretty sure they both were still teenagers when we were born. Like 18 or 19. They had no idea what they were doing. They dressed us up and treated us like dolls. They tossed us together as infants as a convenience really. They'd do each other's hair or the parents would play cards and drink Rob Roys or Old Fashions and stay up half the night."

Steve drank the wine and poured another glass. "I don't have my own memories of any of that, just from stories or pictures. There were pictures of us together. There was one famous picture of Buck right after he was born. He was small, not even 5 pounds and his father held him in one hand. That picture was passed around every birthday. His dad would say, 'look at you, buck naked,' and he'd laugh. That's how he got his nickname."

"Not from Buchanan?"

"No, that's just his mother's maiden name. There was another crazy picture. I was a 9 pound newborn. We were born a few months apart and the mothers had us laid out on the kitchen table. Bucky's mother had so many blankets on him, trying to get him to look bigger. He was wrapped so tight he was shiny with sweat and had this distressed angry look on his face. It was a funny picture. I would love to see that picture again. Anyway, I don't really have my own memories, like I said, till I was eight, or so but one of my first clear memories was of Bucky and his father.

"I was afraid of Bucky's dad. He was career military. A big guy. Loud sonic boom of a voice. No nonsense type a guy. He had no sense of humor, none, whatsoever. He believed in corporal punishment and expected a lot out of even little people. He was yelling at Bucky, a common occurrence – Bucky – hit by his dad – another common occurrence. He was hit often and hit hard. He was the only boy and pressure was on him to live up to the dad standards. We couldn't have been seven or eight years old and this huge man in a uniform was yelling and swearing at him – I mean real verbal abuse and Buck stood there, like he had enough. He's practically toe to toe with the old man, with his hands on his hips and he looked at his dad straight in the eye, like five stories up and said, 'well, if you're gonna hit me just shut up and hit me already', Or something like that. At the time I thought it was the bravest thing I had ever seen."

"Did he get hit?"

"I don't remember. The dad was harsh on him around that time. He teased him calling him pretty boy, 'oh you're just a pretty boy', his dad would say. He made fun of Bucky's wavy hair. When Bucky was little, everybody thought he was a girl. This drove his dad nuts. But, Bucky had the same body type as his father. When he started getting muscular, which was early, no one said that anymore. He was always the tallest and mostly muscular kid in our class but his mother was a beautiful woman, I mean, movie star beautiful, and he got his looks from her. She was an artist, did sketches for newspapers and magazines, did portraits out of the home and had a big shed outback where she taught sculpting. This was the big conflict in the home. His mom taught him many forms of art as soon as he could hold a pencil or brush and the dad didn't insist she stop but instead he made fun of him and teased him. Looking back, I'd say he was the first bully I ever knew up close and personal." Steve chugaluged the wine and Tony was right there to fill the glass.

"The dad was not the type of man that could accept a beautiful boy with curly hair that was artistic. That was just not gonna happen. He also was not the type of man that would forbid his wife from teaching the kid anything. So, there was the rub. Buck's reaction to all this was interesting. My dad had left my house around this time and my mother increased her drinking. I was at Buck's house, well, I live there, practically. Buck refused to get a haircut. I don't think he got a haircut for years." Steve smiled, and spread his arms out on the back of the sofa as he remembered his friend and his own childhood.

"Oh yeah," Steve laughed. "He would make all these artistic creations, and give them to the dad, or he would draw pictures, and hang them up all over his parents bedroom. It was a real battle of wills. I can laugh now but it wasn't funny at the time. When Bucky became a wrestler and a baseball player and the trophies flew in the door the dad started to lighten up. There was an incident at the river that, now looking back, seemed a turning point." 

Tony took it all in. He filled the wine glasses to grease the wheel.

"There was a river near our town, the Mad River, a narrow deep fast-moving river with steep banks and wooded all around. The town lost a kid to the river every year or so. The river was absolutely forbidden. The German residents of the town used the German word for forbidden, verboten, verboten, that was a couple steps up from just regular old forbidden. We were around 10 years old when Bucky's curiosity got the better of him and the river was the first place he wanted to go every time we left the house. I resisted but that was futile. Bucky had no fear and so we went. 

"The river became our home away from home. That river was a boy's dream come true. All types of animals and insects, frogs, snakes, an abundance of flora we had never seen, all untouched by the population. We built structures all over the place, traps and forts. We'd fall into our own traps because we forgot where we put 'em. Buck collected everything, tiny trees, insects, tadpoles, cocoons. He would draw everything he'd collect and had it all in categories at home. We took the stuff to school. We took some cocoons to school and they hatched all over the place causing a minor riot. We had no idea what was gonna come out of any of them. There must've been 100 praying mantids in this one cocoon. We tried to raise them – they all died." Steve's face was soft, his eyes bright as he reminisced.

"Buck almost fell into the river, I don't know how many times. He flirted with it. He loved to slide down the bank, and see how close he could get to the rushing water. He'd pretend, and fall halfway down, and I'd have to perform a daring rescue." Steve paused, and touched his forehead. "Wow, I hadn't thought of these things in years. We'd play wagon train – a whole gang of kids – it was a big thing. I was always the Wagon Master. Buck the scout. He'd make sure the Indians always caught him. They'd tie him to a tree to burn him at the stake. We'd rescue him just in the time."

Steve rubbed his forehead again. He was surprised he felt emotional. He had not felt anything at all for a long time. He told himself it was the alcohol. He had found that if he drank a few swallows every four or five minutes it would relax him, never to the point of intoxication, but it did have an effect on him. Tony listened with focus and was not fidgeting, so Steve continued.

"Bucky's cousins from the Buchanan side came from out of state to visit that summer. We all put on our swimsuits and headed to the pool." Steve glanced at Tony and said, "You know where this is going? Yeah, Buck was compelled to show his cousins his river. It was the most exciting thing in our universe, besides the train tracks. One cousin was our age. The rest were younger. I said they were too young to go to the river. Buck said it was just for a look at the river. We would not to go all the way to the river and, well, he had a way of looking at you. 

"There was one area you could see the river from a false bank. Then there was a large basin. We headed down to the basin toward the river. We were about halfway across the basin when we heard Bucky's dad yelling, and swearing at him from the top of the false bank. The dad ripped a branch off a small tree, and started after him ripping the leaves off as he came down the embankment. Bucky dropped everything and took off running down the basin. The dad ran after him with his nice long switch. When the dad ran past us we took off after the dad. The dad couldn't quite catch Buck but the switch caught his legs and back and the dad whipped him and whipped him with that switch," Steve demonstrated. 

"The dad was yelling and swearing at him to stop. He screamed at Bucky saying, 'I'm going to beat the holy shit out of you', or 'I'm gonna beat you with in an inch of your life, boy', and stuff like that. At the end of the basin before the woods there was a huge briar-patch. It was wide and deep and had to be over 7 foot tall. We didn't even go within 5 feet of this patch. If you picked up a briar it hurt like hell. You couldn't get it out all the way. The little pokey tip stayed in you and it always got infected. Well, when Bucky got to the patch he didn't stop he ran right in. The dad was right behind him and he stopped in his tracks and drop the switch." Steve acted out the drama with his hands.

"The dad yelled, 'Buck stop, I put down the switch.' I was like, well what do you expect you asshole you're whipping him like he's on the HMS Bounty. Anyway, we all stopped. The only sound we could hear was Bucky still moving through the briars. The dad became frantic begging him to stop. Finally, there was silence. No one could even see Bucky. He had been consumed. It was like the Day of the Triffids." Steve could not believe he actually made a joke. 

"Then we heard something unbelievable. We heard Buck cry. Now, this just didn't happen. He was everyone's brave hero. When I heard him crying, I started to cry. When I start crying all four cousins started crying. It was a real scene. The dad started into the briars, he made it about 2 feet and came out a bloody mess. That shocked some sense into the asshole and he told Bucky not to move that he would get him out. He ran back up the basin and retrieved gloves and boots and tools and neighbor's to help dig Bucky out. 

"It took two hours to get that kid out of the briar patch. He was a real mess. His body was limp. He was as white as a ghost. None of us kids had ever seen that much blood. All he had on was a swimsuit. He even had big briars stuck up through his Keds. He had welts and little cuts all over his back and the back of his legs from being whipped and briars all over his front. We were all too shocked to cry. Buck had long since cried himself out. The only one crying when they brought the kid out was Bucky's dad. When Buck saw his dad cry that was it for him – he was devoted to the man the rest of his life. He told me later that until that day he thought his father hated him.

"The men took the whole briar patch out. Burned it down to the ground. I remember the fire burned long into the night. The women in the neighborhood laid Buck out on the kitchen table and worked on him for hours trying to get the briars out of him. The doctor came and gave Bucky a shot of penicillin and made the dad explain how the kid got in that shape. 

"His dad was humiliated. Embarrassed enough to change. There was no more hitting. They were inseparable. If Buck had wrestling match the dad was there, ball game - dad there. He told the military, 'sorry I'm going home to play catch with my son for three hours before his bedtime,' and then he'd to go back to the Base and finish his work after the kids were in bed. He took Buck to professional ball games. They went on fishing trips. I shouldn't say it like that, I went too, if I wasn't sick. He bought Buck a telescope and a microscope. Bucky dropped art flat. His mom didn't care, as soon as he put down the brush his sister picked it up. Buck got a haircut. They had five good years before the dad was killed in a freak accident piloting some experimental aircraft at Wright-Patterson. 

"I actually grew to love Bucky's dad. From the whipping incident until his death he exposed us to a constant barrage of useful practical knowledge. Things you can use in the real world. He taught us to shoot. How to care for the weapon. How to respect the weapon. He didn't hunt but as a pilot he had been trained in survival skills and he passed this knowledge on to us. We learned how to survive in the wilderness. How to make a knife out of practically anything and how do use it to get food and to defend ourselves. We ate that stuff up. He never let up for a moment. Back then you could go to ground school at 14 and you could get your private pilot's license at 16. Franklin, Buck's Dad, wanted him to fly so he paid my way too. Besides dinner at Bucky's every night ground school was the high point of my high school years. Franklin died before we could get our license but the school let us finish our flying time for free because of the way Buck's dad died. Buck had a license to pilot an airplane before he had a license to drive a car."

"And you?"

"Couldn't pass the vision test." Steve smiled.

"You know, we had no choice but to be friends as little kids. In grade school there wasn't a noticeable difference between us. In high school the difference between us was staggering. There was no way a guy like Buck would ever be friends with a sick dork like me, yet he stuck to me like glue. There he was a great all-around athlete. More handsome than William Holden. Everybody said so. All the most beautiful girls wanted to date him. He was popular. People were drawn to him. It was like he had this authentic magnetism. He was scouted by professional baseball clubs, effortless student, charming, great dancer, social, talkative, funny, and . . . he was nice, Tony . . . just nice . . . just considerate of others, always kindness and a smile for everyone. He would talk to anyone. He had a way of listening to you that made you feel like . . . Like what you were saying was the most . . . Steve broke off. 

"How could - " He broke off again. "How could they - " A shutter ran through Steve's body. He shut his eyes a moment and squirmed around on the sofa. He shook it off.

"It's hard to believe . . . Back then we called his type of personality happy go lucky. Now, I think it's called well-adjusted. And you know the strangest thing? He didn't seem to know there was anything special about him. He thought he was just an average Joe. Maybe he was – but not to me. It's probably hard for you to believe knowing me as I am now. I know I've always said Buck was my best friend, the truth is he was my only friend until I met you, Tony . . . I mean you guys. 

"I, on the other hand, I almost didn't even graduate high school because I had so many sick days. A conservative figure is 20 trips to the hospital for asthma attacks over the four years of high school. I'd turn completely blue. Buck was always there. I'd say, 'I know you have something better to do than to sit here with me at the hospital', and he say something like, 'and miss watching you turn blue and die, no way'. He was 14 and he'd track down the doctors and make them explain things to 'em." Steve took a deep breath. He felt alert, elated, in some way. The more he talked the better he felt. 

Tony sat on the edge of his seat; he hung on every word.

"Did I say undefeated in wrestling for the four years of high school?"

"No, really? I'm impressed." Tony was authentic with this statement. Things like titles and awards did impress him.

"Yeah, he was the first person to have that distinction. I tried not to miss any of his matches. They amazed everyone. He would fix that intense gaze on his opponent, you saw it?"

"Yeah, I saw it." Tony saw it and would never forget it.

"Well, he would capture his opponent, hell, they were more like his prey. He would capture them by that intense gaze. He would look at them like they were already pinned and he would make it happen. They were like birds hypnotized by a cobra. It was over. They were going down."

"And he still got dates?"

Both men laughed out loud and took big drinks of the wine.

"It's funny you should say that. He did do something similar to girls in high school. It seemed like charm, but later in the war his skills matured into what looked like seduction. You'd have to see it, his tone of voice, this low calm, his eyes, and the way he would look at them reminded me of the wrestling matches. In one sentence, I saw it, it took one or two sentences and they were fascinated. He'd whisk them away to the dance floor. In a few dances they'd be picking out baby names."

Steve and Tony laughed out loud again. It seems like old times – in a way.

"After I saw him in action a few times I thought he'd make a good spy and I used him as such," popped right out of Steve's mouth.

"He would do that for you?" Tony questioned. Spying is against the Geneva Convention.

"Without question. He would do anything I asked."

"Even the dirty work?"

"Especially the dirty work."

"Like what?"

"We had to shoot the prisoners. I shot prisoner," Steve mumbled without emotion.

"You shot prisoners?"

"I ordered him to shoot the prisoners." Steve said loud like a robot.

"I . . . " Tony could not hide his shock.

"I would have lost all my men otherwise, including him."

"Why? Why would he do that?" Tony leaned in close to Steve.

"It was war – some horrible things had to be done. It was a question of situational ethics." Steve tried to explain the unexplainable. He felt he was being pulled somewhere he really did not want to go but he felt compelled to keep answering Tony. "He did it because he didn't want me to have to do it."

Tony asked soft and gentle. "Why?"

"He didn't want me to be tarnished." Steve had an edge to his voice. Tony looked him in the eye.

"Why not?"

"Maybe things have changed a lot in 100 years or . . . " Steve studied Tony, "or you've never had a real friend. You haven't. Have you?" 

Tony dropped his eyes. It was true he had not - not like Steve described.

"Okay, I'll explain it to you. Because he knew I'd never ask him to do anything like that without good reason, like no other way."

"And?"

"And? And he knew I'd get him out of any jam he got into because of it - with my life."

"So the bottom line would be?" 

"Dammit, Tony I feel like I'm being peeled like an onion. He did it because he knew he could handle the fall out better than I could and he was right. I don't wear it well. I don't know what to do with these feelings."

"What feelings?"

"Okay, okay, I'll spell it out for you. If I wanted the prisoners shot I should've shot them myself. I used him. Not to save my own life or something noble. I used him to protect my image. I let him carry that horror for the rest of his life - not just the shooting but the fact I ordered him. Sure, they forced him with machines but I used our friendship. Seems worse . . . much worse."

"No . . . "

"He spoke to them in German before he shot them . . . I don't know what he was saying . . . " Steve looked at Tony with eyes like saucers.

Tony noted Steve's flushed face and the magnum of wine was empty. Tony sat quietly for a moment.

"I, ah, really don't want any more wine. Would you like something else?" 

Steve stretched and walked around the room.

"Yeah, okay. Something with ice. Scotch. Lots of Scotch with lots of ice." Steve swung his arms around.

As soon as Tony left the area Steve went to the mantle to look at the black bird statue. Other movie artifacts join the falcon on the fireplace. An Oscar. Steve picked it up, felt the weight of the thing and inspected the statuette head to foot. The number 1601 was embossed on the bottom. A few films scripts that looked original laid on the mantle. Steve was fascinated, anything, anything to distract him from where he just was. 

But it was the pounding of the Pacific ocean that drew him out of his funk and to the window. The illusion that the sun touched the water, dazzled any viewer. Even the birds seemed to cock their heads to watch the hypnotic marriage of sun and sea. The sun blazed it's last hurrah, sank, and disappeared into the afterglow. It was breathtaking.

Steve stared at the ocean, deep in thought. 

Tony touched his arm with the icy class of Scotch.

"Oh, thanks. What's that red sign on the beach? I can't read the lettering." Steve asked.

"The beaches are closed around here."

"Closed? Why?"

"Overgrowth of bacteria. Bacteria stuck to microplastic fibers. If you get that in your lungs the fibers shreds, the bacteria infects and your dead," Tony said.

"Good grief. What caused that?"

"Global warming," Tony said with attitude, "it's been on the news."

"I haven't been keeping up. I did hear in the cab coming over here that 95% of the population of the earth are breathing polluted air? How can that be possible?" Steve waxed nostalgic. "Too bad, too bad we didn't know about the possibility of this in the 40s."

"Yeah, to bad we can't go back in time and fix it." Tony stared out the window with Steve. "Well, should we get back to it?"

"I'm sure you're getting the idea."

"Yes, yes but let's go on. You guys graduate high school and - "

Steve took four or five big drinks of the icy diluted Scotch. It cleared the pallet after all the wine.

"My father was a drinker, Tony. He went on a bender. Wandered away somewhere, never to return but my mother was an alcoholic. The no food in the house kind of alcoholic. She'd disappear for days and the police would call me and say, 'come pick her up'. I was like 15 years old, going to the police station, well anyway . . . When my mother died Bucky wanted me to move in with him, his mom and the girls. Till this day I don't know why I didn't. I loved Bucky's home and the girls. The home was warm. Always music and laughter. There was always something cooking in the kitchen. Things I never had. I would've had a great time. They treated me like I was a prince or something. It would've been great . . . 

"I had this fantasy . . . " Steve laughed, "that I would marry one of Buck's sisters and be part of a real family . . . Imagine that, I was 18. There was something wrong with me. I knew it. Even then I knew it. I thought I was cursed for something I'd done. I didn't know what I had done but I had the proof, and the proof was all my illnesses. I felt I didn't deserve a home like Bucky had. I thought I had to tough it out on my own. You know, stand on my own. Be a man. What a fool." Steve paused. "I am still doing it." 

Tony brought some food with the drinks and he sat on the end of the sofa and ate, like he watched a good movie.

"Well, Buck accepted my decision. He didn't know what he wanted to do. He was playing minor league baseball as he had done the summer between junior and senior year. They had sent him up to the majors for a game, and back down to the minors. They did that a few times. I don't think they treated catchers very well back then. Or maybe they just wanted to see if these young ball players had nerves of steel. He went up not batting an eye, and came back not batting an eye. I think they would've signed him, and he would've gone. Rough life if you're good at everything, interested in everything, and had unlimited choices. 

"I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I was going to the FBI. I knew I could never make the physical for a field agent, but I thought I could be an analyst. I enrolled at a local university, pre-law. I figured if I had a law degree they would have to take me. I laid this all out for Bucky hoping he would come along. We would have made a great team in the FBI. He said he didn't know about the FBI. He said if you can't make a decision it means you just need more information so he decided to come to the university and take whatever seemed interesting to him. 

"Now, at college this is where we, as adults, started to differentiate from each other. I've always been a single subject type of guy and Buck was just the opposite. I remained reserved and conservative, and Buck collected an odd assortment of the weirdest people you can imagine. He had friends that were Marxist, existentialists, Freudians, a poet or two, a few feminists, an anarchist, I mean, he took the wildest classes. I was constantly asking him what he was going to do with any of this stuff. 

"These weirdos would stay up half the night. Buck said they were discussing things. I went to some of these soirées, sounded like arguing to me. No idea was too wild. And what was the over arching topic of conversation, the dominant subject of all this talk? Adolf Hitler. The little corporal was criticized, demonized, politicized, psychoanalyzed, it went on and on. 

"Buck did take all the languages the University had to offer, German, French and Spanish, I think. Before I could turn around twice he was speaking these languages with natives. His Dean said he was gifted and gave him contacts of professors and others who spoke these languages in their homes so he could speak with them beyond conversational. Students would gather at the professor's homes for discussions. He spent a lot of time speaking German and reading Nietzsche. I was like, who are you? We met Pookie Morita around this time.

"Pookie?" Tony said with a laugh. 

"Yeah, Jim Morita. Back then, everybody had a nickname, Tony. If you didn't have an insulting nickname you were a nobody, something was really wrong with you. We had Stinky Floro, Humpy Holland, Slick Becker, Shifty Williams, Snake Plisken, Doobie Mackie and of course Bucky Barnes."

"And you?"

"Peewee Rogers, what else. Everybody called me that. The teachers called me Peewee. My own mother called me Peewee, it was pervasive. I shouldn't say everybody. Bucky called me Steve. Oh, he'd call me Peewee if he wanted to motivate me. When Peewee came from him – I was motivated. Other than that I accepted it. Peewee was fine." Steve contemplated and took a gulp of Scotch.

"Well, Peewee wasn't as bad as . . . Bucky." This time both men laughed and it was like old times.

"You know Jim Morita, he was in the Howling Commando."

"Oh sure, I do know that name. "

"He was a big influence on both of us. Jim was from Toledo but fluent in Japanese and Buck thought he'd take that on too. Morita introduced us to eastern philosophies and the martial arts. He studied in San Francisco and we all did T'ai Chi Ch'uan on Morita's balcony every morning. He introduced Bucky to masters in Judo and Karate and they went to classes. Buck was in top physical shape and had the ability to focus his mind so he was a quick study. 

"About a year later Bucky told me he had fallen in love. The girl was from one of the language families whose parents were professors at the University. I think they were Basque or Cotillion. Her parents hosted these open communication free-for-alls he was so fond of. He said he knew what he wanted. He wanted to marry this girl have five or six children and work for the Forest Service."

"Well, he was a naturalist?" Tony surmised.

"He was. Yeah, he was an ambitious naturalist though. He wanted to work at some big forest like out west." Steve smiled. "Anyway, he asked her to marry him and she said no."

"What?" Tony gestured shock.

"Well, Buck is an atheist. To me atheism was just another idea he was trying on for size. He had a voracious appetite for ideas. He consumed ideas like a piranha, he would digest them, metabolize them and then drop them. But it was the end of the world to this girl. She said she could deal with any other religion but not that. He might as well have told them he was a Satanist. I don't know if he changed. You know what they say there's no atheists in the foxhole.

"It didn't matter anyway, a week later was Pearl Harbor. There was no question, everyone was going to war. Buck talked to a recruiter who advised him to get a commission in the Air Corps, as it was call then. He said he didn't think so. He said he was a trained fighter and shooter – he was exceptional even before he was messed with – I think he classified as expert marksman right off. He said let the boys who didn't have these skills fly. If he had to fight and kill, he would, another soldier – mono a mono – not drop bombs on what had to be civilians. That seemed like the insanity to him.

"At the time I thought his decision may be reactionary, because of the girl, but his reasoning was sound and logical, so I accepted his decision. 

"He didn't feel the way most people felt about going to war. Sure, he felt Hitler needed to be stopped, but he refused to vilify a whole race of people like most people were doing, with all the propaganda. He had way too many German and Japanese friends to do that. He felt no 'people' wanted war. Morita fought right by our side all the while his whole family were in internment camps." Steve trailed off and shrugged his shoulders. "How innocent we were. How idealistic. How naïve." Steve took a deep cleansing breath. 

"So he went to war with the same attitude he lived his life. I carried a lot more baggage into the theater of war than he did. When I walked beside him I knew he was the better man. And he was the better man Tony, there was no doubt about that. 

"We thought we would go over there. Fix it all right up. Come home, and pursue our dreams. His dreams seemed so small. He wasn't really asking for anything at all.

"We had no way of knowing what tight spots were to come. What seeing death on a scale like war was. What having to kill another man is like. How hard it is to actually do that. What losing friends right beside you was like. Like almost losing your own life, by a fraction of a second, by a fraction of an inch. See this scar on my ear? Gunshot. If my head had been cocked a fraction of an inch this way, the bullet would've entered my eye and blown the back of my head off. And there's no Super Soldier Serum that could prevent that.

"And you didn't learn those lesson just one time, you learned them over, and over, and over again. We were held down by enemy fire for 72 hours, one time. The men called it the valley of death. It was a bloodbath. Death at any moment, so much so everybody gets squirrelly. You crack. You crack open. You crack wide open. No man can predict what they will do. And every man has his moment, every man, including me, including Bucky. Buck had something memorized to chant to himself when his moment, when the occasion presented itself, as it inevitably would. He told of his dream future. Kind of a poem, a soliloquy, anyway it went like this: 

' I wake in the morning with my five children jumping on me like I'm a trampoline. They pull at my face, rearrange my cheeks, kiss me and call me Papa. They all want my attention. Their cheeks are rose pink and cool to the touch and they all talk at once. Their voices tinkle and clatter in the air like the voices of angels. I smell the coffee percolating and the bacon sizzling and hear my wife knocking around in the kitchen. I go to work outside in the lush green, and crisp open air. I come home, the good tired and head for the garden with huge red tomatoes. I eat one on the spot. I play ball with my son on the front yard and go to my daughter's dance recital. I take a yellow rose from the garden to the stage and hand it to her. At night, I hold my wife in a silky gown and her hair falls across my face.' 

"He told me that if he died to have no fear for him. That he would be thinking this – if they gave him a second to think. I memorized it myself. A lot of the men did. I said it many times.

"Near the end of the 72 hours a mortar shell exploded about 10 feet from Bucky, he was blasted into the air about 25 feet into a dirt wall. I pulled him into the foxhole. He was a bloody mess but he had a heartbeat and was breathing. He was unconscious but all his reflexes were intact. He had shrapnel all over. I searched his body and pulled most of them out. If he lived, I thought, the smaller ones would work themselves out over time. Luckily, he had no big pieces in him. The two soldiers by him were killed instantly – no I take that back, one lived about an hour and then died. 

"I protected him as well as I could. He was unconscious such a long time. I was sure he had a brain concussion because he bled from both ears. There was nothing I could do for him. There was no help to be called. We had no supplies, no medicine, and only rain water, and very little of that. I couldn't even clean his wounds or get the blast powder off his face. During the night he was feverish and he trembled. I tried to keep him warm. I knew I had to sleep. I hadn't slept in 48 hours. I was hallucinating and I couldn't think straight, but I knew, I just knew in my heart, that his heart would stop beating as soon as I fell asleep. I know, I told you I wasn't thinking straight. So, I put my hand over his heart where I could feel it beating and I fell asleep. 

"Birds woke me. He hadn't moved, but he was looking right at me. Well," Steve raised his hands, rolled his eyes and smiled. "Well, I couldn't feel his heart beat through all those clothes, so I had to worm my hand under his clothing, you know, to get to his chest. He looked at my hand there under his clothes, on his bare chest, and then back at my face. I was embarrassed that I was touching him like that. I tried to pull my hand away but he grabbed my wrist to keep my hand on his chest. Just that little exertion must've been too much for him because he passed right out. He never mentioned it to me – I thank God for that - but the story got around with the men, that my hand on his heart kept him alive. He told the story or someone saw, I don't know, but the next dying GI grabbed my hand and held my hand on his chest . . . he died anyway.

"There was a point where I gave up. I knew it was no use. I would never be, like . . . domesticated. I was ruined as a man . . . as a human. I knew I would never be the same, Tony, I knew I could never come back from where the war – from where the war pushed me. I knew I'd never stop killing. I knew I would never stop. After that I didn't care anymore. I mean . . . about whether I lived or I died. Because I knew I'd be no use to anyone – of no human value. I've talk to people – that happens a lot. These men, men like me, become mercenaries after wars. Paid by the highest bidder. Some misguided ones think they can go home, but they become alcoholics, drug addicts, go crazy, or just shoot themselves. I submitted to the fact that my life was over. 

"But I didn't want that to happen to Bucky. He had remained so compassionate, so sweet and caring through all of it. I tried to get him sent home. I busted my ass to get him sent home, but in those days blast concussions didn't go home. They just weren't considered an injury if you couldn't see it on the outside. Well, that's one incident, I have like 50 more. Tony, I don't know how much longer I can do this. I think you know the rest anyway. You know I didn't agree at all with his decision to go back in - "

"Cryo?"

"Yes, and the more time that passes the less I like it. It's like he doesn't think he even deserves to breathe. I have to tell you I don't know how much longer I can continue to talk myself out of going to get 'em. I don't know how much longer I can think of reasons not to go. I don't know how much longer I can stand it." Steve's eyeballs got big and his mouth made an O shape and he was shocked at himself and his inconsideration. What must this sound like from Tony's point of view.

"Tony, hey man I am so sorry. You don't deserve that kind of outburst but this escapes me. Maybe I've spent too much time alone the last two years. It's not just knowing someone from your own century. It's more than that. It's being known. Like a brother or a cousin you were raised with or a teacher who knew you through school or the milkman who watched you grow up. There's no one within 100 years that knows me. That's a new kind of alone. That short time he was with me, just like a moment, really. He didn't do anything. He didn't say anything. It was just his presence. It was like just a split second – " Steve snapped his finger, " – of belonging. I'd have that back under any conditions. I know it's selfish, but the most extreme conditions you can think of, and I'd say yes. Geez Tony, I apologize again. I sound like I'm begging you and it's so unfair. I don't know what's come over me. It's . . . it's inexcusable."

The state Steve was in moved Tony deeply. Tony thought the good war was different for some reason but here it was, even the good war diseased the psyche of this valiant man. Tony shuffled frequently in his seat, touched his face, and hair, and fidgeted.

"Now, I apologize, just a few more questions. When you guys were together what did you think of his mental state?"

"Oh, most of that time we were under a life or death situation. He was running on adrenaline or paranoia . . . he was still fighting to stay alive . . . if that's what you mean. Personally, he seemed like a ghost of his former self or like an animal version of himself. This cryo-decision to me was like he was being his own judge, jury and executioner. Sentencing himself to nonexistence. Which is what he thinks he deserves for his crimes."

"Did he say how he remembered his crimes?"

"His victims visit him each night – in dreams."

"He said that?"

"He did."

Tony raised his eyebrows and blew some air out of the corner of his mouth. "Wow, I have my own visitors." Tony mumbled then added loud and clear. "It may give you some comfort to know that you don't dream in cryogenic sleep."

"I . . . I didn't know that."

"In any case I'm prepared to deal with that."

"Prepared? Tony, when are you going to tell me what the hell is going on?"

"Okay . . . now. Come on. I've got something to show you in the lab."

****

The natural light, the available light, all canned light led the eye to the center of the room – to a shiny metallic object that laid on a table, a sleek, seamless metal arm. 

Steve's jaw dropped and his head moved from side to side.  
"Is it weaponized?" 

"It is, if the wearer desires. My first upgrade," Tony turned on the hologram feature. The arm took on a human look – human in every way: variation and skin tone, nails, blue veins, and hair.

"Can I touch it?"

"Sure."

"What's it made of? Is that Vibranium?

"Sure."

"Where did you get the Vibranium?"

"Your shield."

"Poetic, Tony, poetic. But how? What happened to you?" Both men smiled broadly.

"Don't think I've changed all that much. I haven't moved from my position of wanting revenge. I want revenge, and I will have my revenge. I'm just not gonna to extract it from what was basically a drone sent on a kill mission. I'm going right to the source, HYDRA and Russia for my revenge feast. I'll tell you exactly how I'm gonna do it. What they broke – I fix. They gave him an arm – I give a 10 times better arm. What they damaged, I repair. What they split apart, I will put back together and make whole again. What they locked up, I'll set free. What they programmed, I will deprogram. And when the day comes when Barnes stands, probably right here in this room where we are right now, when he stands here whole, autonomous, healed, repaired and recovered from his atrocity – and what was done to him was an atrocity. The crowning glory of their achievement, their Winter Soldier, the pinnacle of a century of their efforts - when he stands here possessed with the one thing they fear the most, the one thing that makes us right and them wrong. When he stands here, a man with free will, that's when I get my reward. They did not break him, they did not take what belongs to us, our American soldier, and break him. They don't get to do that. They didn't beat him. They didn't win. We win. And that's when I win my revenge."

"Tony . . . Tony . . . Tony."

"I know, I missed you too."

Bruce Banner entered the lab, "sorry to interrupt – if I did."

"No, thank you. I need interrupting. I've gone places tonight I've never been. What was in that wine?" Steve said offhand.

"Cabernet Sauvignon, Schrader Celler – "

"If it's just wine why do I hear a choir singing?" Steve interrupted.

"What are they singing, Steve, hallelujah?" Bruce chimed.

"Yes, yes they're singing hallelujah." Everyone smiled.

"Tony, when do we go?"

"You and Banner are going."

"But . . . you?"

"Look, I had two years to process what happened in Siberia. To Barnes, it's last week. It may be – awkward."

"That's thoughtful and considerate of you," Steve said.

"And he may not wanna come," Tony added.

"Oh, he'll want to come." Steve turned to Banner, "okay, then when do WE leave?"

"The plane is ready, just call your little King friend," Tony said.  
Steve smiled and looked at Banner who shrugged anytime and Steve pulled out his phone.

"You know Rodgers, you interrupted me a few minutes back. I need to finish my sentence. Cabernet Sauvignon, Schrader Cellars 1998 with truth serum added," Tony was compelled to say.

It took a moment for Tony statement to soak in; Steve was in such a high place. When he came down, he threw his arms up in the air and flailed them in front of Tony's face.

"What? You drugged me?"

"Just a little," Tony said with a smile.

"Tony," Steve said without a smile.

"Hey, I'm the one that's gonna mess around with another man's brain, his mind and maybe even his personality. Yeah, I need to know the truth. The factual truth yes, plus I need to know the emotional truth."

"You thought I wouldn't tell you the truth?" As soon as the statement was out in the air Steve he heard how lame it sounded.

"But Tony, you drank the wine too."

"So, now you know the factual truth and my emotional truth."

"Tony, you amaze me."

"Of course I do . . . Why are you standing here?" Tony said to Steve and Banner in his curt way.

Steve and Banner's movement rounding the corner activated the motion sensor on one of Tony's personal robots. As they approached it spoke, 'I will escort you to the airplane. Follow me.' The robot escorted them to a long hallway. The hallway reminded Steve of the hallways in the Pentagon. An electric golf cart waited to take them the mile trek to the ladder that led up to the hanger and on to the Learjet. Coastal winds battered their faces but it felt good.

"What's truth serum?" Steve mumbled.

"It's a compound Tony stumbled upon, tested extensively using a polygraph as a control. It's effectiveness was around 80%, which is unheard of. The FDA has it now, it will change the world, and that isn't even scratching the surface of its therapeutic applications." Banner explained.

"Therapeutic?"

"Yeah, you guys drank a shit load of that stuff tonight. How do you feel?" 

"I've never talked that openly about my feelings, not even to myself. I feel great. I feel like 50 pounds has been removed from each shoulder." Steve moved his arms and shoulders playfully.

"That's therapeutic value," Bruce smiled.

****

The flight from Solaris to Wakanda was uneventful. Steve and Banner slept the whole trip. A Wakandan attendant escorted Steve and Bruce to the facility that housed Barnes. They examined Bucky. He looked shrunken. There was a mummified quality to his skin. On close inspection his skin looked reptilian and glistened with ice crystals. His hands were skeletal and discolored and he had dark circles under his eyes. His cheeks were sunken, and his lips parted in a grotesque manner. Steve hyperventilated.

"I don't think this is abnormal, Steve," explained Banner.

"How long does it take to get him out of this thing?" Steve said to the technician as he bounced his hands over the glass above Bucky's head.

"About two hours."

"How long before he can fly?"

"About three days."

"I am sure no one is ever been that kind," Steve said under his breath.

"Excuse the interruption. I'm Dr. Xhosa. I'm the doctor in charge of Sergeant Barnes. He'll be here more like seven days if you want his jaw fixed."

"Jaw? I didn't know anything about his jaw."

"Your friend's jaw is fractured in 12 places. It needs to be wired for proper healing."

"Yeah, it's a real mess," the technician said. "What happened to him? Get kicked in the face with a metal boot?"

Dr. Xhosa placed her hand gently on the technician's shoulder, "that's enough, Kayode, you can go to lunch now." Dr. Xhosa sat at the consul and brought up schematics on Sgt. James Barnes. She pointed out the 12 fractures. Steve studied intentely.

"Didn't they heal over these two years?" 

"No, no. All body functions are suspended. He'll come out just as he went in. We have methods to reinforce the fracture, and the bone around the fracture that will make the jaw virtually unbreakable. If you choose to take him – as is – and treat him in the states, their way, any further trauma to the jaw will result in shattering, 24 brakes – 48 brakes and so on." Doctor Xhosa noted Steve's surprise."Yes, our methods are that much more advanced."

"Well, in that case we'll stay and thank you, ma'am." Steve glanced around the room. "You're not by any chance using Vibranium as a reinforcement are you?"

Dr. Xhosa nodded affirmative, "Oh yes, King's pleasure."

"Wow, thank you again."

"I'll set up the specialist." Doctor Xhosa made arrangements on her computer. 

With the fractured jaw x-rays still in Steve's mind he took another look at Bucky. The dim lights and soft hum of the machinery tranquilized Steve. He placed his hand on the glass. For a moment all his denial lifted and Steve saw clearly the reality of the life James Barnes. 

The possibility entered Steve's mind, maybe Bucky wasn't ever going to be himself again. Buck looked completely destroyed – his body wrecked by decades of abuses - his mind a mass of confusion that may never be untangled. His spirit a tiny speck of an ember like the dim light on the machine that held him. And his soul? Steve questioned everything, and he mumbled out loud, "abandoned even by God are you?" The jaw was the last straw. Steve boiled over. 

"What's going on? Are you okay?" Bruce touched Steve's arm.

"He's ruined, Bruce. How can anyone come back from this? He's damaged beyond repair."

"Don't despair. He has a strong will to live. Look at what he's been through already." Bruce pulled at Steve's shoulder. "Look at me. He's alive. If anyone can come back it's him. If anyone can bring him back. If anyone can repair him – it's the three of us."

With his hand on the glass and his eyes shut Steve made a vow, a vow to himself and to whom ever was listening – there will be no more abuse of his friend. If he was captured, arrested, incarcerated it would be over Steve's cold dead body. Tortured. Brainwashed. Experimented on. Fractured jaw. Blown off arm. Packed in ice. Whatever, anything ever again, it would be over Steve's cold dead body. Steve nodded his head. Yes, they will stay in Wakanda for the Vibranium jaw. Yes, he would feed that ember, that one speck of life left in his friend. He would fan that flame until it was a bloody blaze. Steve opened his eyes, and touch the warm light on the machine.

Steve looked out over the medical facility. His eye caught Dr. Xhosa as she worked at her computer. The good doctor Xhosa was a young, formidable, striking woman. Steve watched her as she approached the Cryo-genic apparatus and glanced at Bruce Banner for approval.

"Before I explain the details of the exit procedure. I would like to explain something to both of you. I do have to tell you that Sergeant Barnes has almost reached his lifetime limit of radiation exposure. Now, he can stay like he is indefinitely. The machine is heavily screened creating little exposure. The entrance and exit procedures are where exposure to radiation is received. If he is removed and has to go back in, that will put him over his limit and we won't take him back, in fact, no one on earth will take him. The risk would be too great. So, you have a big decision to make. Any questions?"

"Is this why he looks so shriveled? Radiation exposure?" Banner said.

"Yes, probably, but I'm not 100% sure at this time. No one has his numbers but that look is not permanent. I do admit he looks a bit freeze dried but once removed and hydrated he will puff right back up. His look will return to normal." Dr. Xhosa said with confidence.

"But we don't know how many times this has been done to him?" Steve asked.

"Oh, yes, I do, I have his numbers. And to get those numbers, he's had to be in and out approximately 50 times."

"Unbelievable," Steve replied.

"Discuss it between the two of you and let me know, no pressure." Dr. Xhosa return to her work. 

Steve watched her as she walked away. She was kind and warm and easy to talk to. She was pretty, attractive. He found her very attractive. The more he looked at her the more attractive she became. Steve was having a hard time remembering the last time he felt like this, the last time he felt, period. He looked down at Bucky. 'What would you do?' Steve did not have to think long for an answer. Number one – Bucky would not be thinking a damned thing, or debating – he would be in action. Okay, low voice, soft eyes, confident body language but not too confident. Present your body to her like you are a candy bar and you know you are the best candy in the world. Next thing Steve knew he was at the doctor's console.

"Excuse me Dr. Xhosa. We are going to take some time to decide, at least overnight. We have some calls to make."

"Okay, fine."

"Could you meet me later tonight when you're done, for a drink or something to eat, to discuss things?"

Dr. Xhosa picked up on the whole package being presented to her.

"Oh, I see." She took off her glasses and stood by the console. She softened. She glanced around on him. "Oh yes, I'd like that. Where are you staying?"

"The King gave us his suite here at the complex."

"Really? Well, there's a café right down the hall. 8 o'clock?"

"See you then." Steve slapped the side of Buck's tube as he passed, 'thanks buddy'. He was surprised again at his heightened emotions. 

"How long do the effects, the therapeutic effects, last from that truth serum?"

Bruce Banner could only laugh. Steve and Bruce sat on a ledge by a breezeway by Bucky's cryotube overlooking the fog encrusted mountains and valleys of Wakanda. 

"Well?" Bruce looked to Steve.

"My first thought is how sure is Tony that he can deprogram him? Bucky won't want out if he can't be debugged."

"Well, that's the problem. We don't know how he was programmed until we get him and test him. Tony has various probability scenarios and methods to do the job. But it is our least confident area."

"Did you talk about putting him back in if you couldn't break the program?"

"It was discussed." 

"Let's call Tony."

Tony waxed confident that he could figure a way out of the program. He reminded Steve that they were under no time constraints. If it took a year, if it took five years, Tony was in for the duration. Tony reminded Steve that Barnes would be in a top secret facility controlled by three Avengers. His life would be immensely improved at Solaris over stasis. Tony also reminded Steve of his own words under truth serum 'under the most extreme conditions', Steve had said. Lastly, Tony asked Steve to give his best guess at what Barnes would say of the situation. 

"I don't even have to think about that one. He would think his odds were great. He would trust your ability to get the job done."

"Then I suggest you do the same thing." Tony hung up.

****

Steve showed up at the café a little before eight. He ordered a coffee and a sandwich. He was hungry enough to eat twice. He watched Dr. Xhosa as she walked towards him. She had changed her clothing. She wore purple with gold trim. Her skin glowed against the silk dress. She was beautiful. How did he not notice? He watched her warm brown eyes and smiling face as she approached the table. He stood, bowed and pulled out her chair. She seemed regal.

"Dr. Xhosa."

"My first name is Xhosa. My last name is Ngokusetyenziswa. Hard for even Wakandans to pronounce."

"It's common in America for female doctors to be called by their first names and male doctors are not."

"Yes, the patriarchy is alive and kicking here as well."

They ordered and Steve ate again. They talked and laughed and relaxed with each other. They discuss the business of the day, and yes, James Barnes would be removed from cryo-genic suspended animation, never to return. 

He found she was a triathlete and had won a silver medal in the Olympics three years earlier for South Sudan, where her father is from. She was educated in Wakanda through a government program for gifted students. She was at the top of her field and traveled the world doing research on the long term effects of suspended animation on the human body. She was 34 years old, married but separated for one year. They had not divorced; he was a Royal. They sat for hours. Steve ate his way down the menu and back up again. His taste buds were enhanced. He explained his aberrant eating behavior by saying everything he ate was the best thing he had ever eaten. She gave him a tour of the facility and the adjacent grounds. They ended up at the door of the King's suite.

"Would you like to come in?"

"I'd love to see it, yes. But Dr. Banner is home? I don't want to disturb your friend."

"I'm sure he's around somewhere. There are many rooms. Let's see what he's doing." 

Steve held the door for her. He touched her back – she touched his arm – they closed the door.

The next morning they woke Bucky. His first words were, 'how long?' He was not disturbed that the answer was two years. After all, it could have been 20, or 50, or 100 years. Steve asked him how he felt and Bucky said, 'got a parka?' No matter how wrecked Buck looked, after that lame joke, Steve knew things would be okay.

Buck slept 20 hours each of the first two days. Xhosa said that was normal. On the third day he was up and around a bit more. Xhosa asked him to join her research study. Buck consented and she tested him. Steve was happy to hear she would be coming to Solaris frequently. On the fourth day Bucky had his jaw fixed. He showed everyone his metal smile. His face was swollen and it hurt to talk so he slept that day away too.

Every night Xhosa stayed with Steve. This was something Steve never had in his life. He never had closeness like this day after day. He told himself his feelings were caused by the drug Tony gave him. He uncharacteristically let himself go with it. 

Xhosa gave Bucky extensive instructions, and a yellow and white air filter to wear over his nose and mouth in the open atmosphere to keep out pollutants, and white goggles with orange lenses to wear in the direct sunlight. Direct sunlight would be murder on his eyes. He would simply not be able to see. The sun would be painful and blind him. He was to wear them outside for two weeks. Dressed in hospital white, goggles and air filter, he looked like an alien from another world. Dr. Xhosa was not worried about him following directions, she had seen Bucky retract and growled like an animal from painful situations. He also ate like his food was going to be taken away from him at any minute. She thought these regressed behaviors were left over from all his time in captivity. She shook her head, held her breath, and wished him the best of luck.

It was a sad departure. Steve and Xhosa held each other and kissed openly in front of Banner and Barnes. Steve experienced physical pain when separating from her. The team boarded Tony's Learjet for the 20 hour flight back to Solaris.

****

The flight from Wakanda was long, seemed more like 40 hours. Bruce deplaned and made a straight path to Tony's office. Exhausted he flopped on the chair in front of Tony's desk and sighed. "Well, he's in the building." 

Tony did not answer instead he closed his laptop and walked to the massive window by his desk. He placed his hands on the glass, fingers spread and he stared out over the ocean. Banner noted Tony's chest rise and fall dramatically. Tony's fingers slid from the glass with the squeak and balled into fists. He pushed off, lifting his shoulders and chest away from the window. He stared at his feet and hyperventilated.

"Tony? What's going on?" Bruce said. 

Again, Tony did not answer. Bruce moved in for a closer look, he jerked away, shocked by what he saw.

"Good God man. Did you bring him here to kill him?" 

Tony glanced at Bruce but did not answer.

"I will not be part of that – no – I won't be involved. I won't witness it." Bruce crossed the room opened the door of the office a crack and froze. His eyes headed down the hall where he yearned to run. He could not see. His eyes were unfocused – he shut them.

"I'll stop you Tony. I'll use everything in my power to stop you."

"Wait, damnit!" Tony demanded. "Can't you give me a minute. I didn't know what it would feel like to have him here."

Bruce did not move from his position at the door. He did not open his eyes, "what does it feel like?" Bruce waited a long time with his eyes shut for Tony's answer.

"It's like it just happened. It feels like the day they died."

Bruce shivered with a chill and pulled the door shut with a snap. He walked to the window and made Tony look at him.  
"Do you believe? Do you believe in what you've planned to do here?"

"Whole heartedly," Tony answered but still no eye contact.

"Then I want you to listen to me. This man you brought here to help is not even a man. He's an animal. He's functioning on the level of an animal. This man is skeletal, he's ashen, he's malnourished, he's anemic," Bruce said slowly then sped up his cadence. "He's homeless. Penniless. Jobless. Hunted. He doesn't own a single piece of clothing, or even a comb, or a toothbrush."

"I don't want to feel sorry for him," Tony interrupted.

Bruce did not stop.

"He cannot speak. His jaw is wired shut. He has no arm."

"STOP," yelled Tony.

Bruce did not stop but yelled over Tony.

"This is reality – you only know some man you've thought about for two years – a fantasy. Come and see the reality. Come and see for yourself."

"I'm not gonna see him. I can see him on camera." Tony turned on his surveillance monitor. Tony took a double take.

"What the hell?" 

Bruce rushed to look. They saw Steve in the anteroom waving his hands at the camera and Barnes pronated on a chair, unconscious. Tony and Bruce raced to the scene. When they arrived Steve held Bucky's head. He was arousing. He moaned through his clenched jaw.

"I think he fainted," Steve said.

"Oh . . . ah," Buck bared his metal encrusted teeth, choked and coughed, unable to clear his airway to breathe. His lips were blue. He bolted upright to move some air into his lungs. 

"Let's get him to the lab. Put him on the scanner and find out what the hell is going on," ordered Dr. Bruce Banner. 

Bruce shot a glance at Tony. Tony's face told him all he wanted to know. Tony got it, he understood, as he took in the full reality of his emaciated new 'project'.

****

Later that evening.

"Well, he's malnourished. He has an electrolyte imbalance and is dehydrated. Nothing more serious. Dehydration from the flight is probably the foremost reason he passed out. He stood a moment ago and almost blacked out again. The man is debilitated. It's going to take extraordinary effort to get him back to the human race. I don't know at this time why he has lost so much body mass. Dr. Xhosa is working on her end. Until then it's back to square one folks, actually, we're not even at square one – were in the negative. I have two IVs running, one with high nutrition and one with electrolytes. I'm giving him oxygen. He should perk up."

"What can we do?" Steve asked.

"Tony, can you make up a high protein vitamin rich liquid for him to drink. This nutrition problem is compounded by his jaw wired. A definite stroke of bad luck." 

"There's good commercially available products weightlifters use. I don't know if there any good. They should be," said Steve.

"I'll look into it." 

"And we're in some big trouble with this jaw. You saw how he choked. We're not going to be able to do anything we want to do with him until he gets that jaw unwired. He could've choked to death right in front of us, and there wasn't anything we could do about it." Bruce warned the crew.

"I agree," Tony stated.

"I have the special wire cutters for emergencies Dr. Xhosa gave me," Steve said.

"Little late – hand them over. I'll tape them to the bed. They must be with him at all times. Now let's everybody do their jobs. I have to rule out every known wasting syndrome."

Steve returned with the protein drink. He held the glass full of Tony's brown liquid concoction up to Buck.

"Here you go. Have a drink."

"What is it?"

"A protein drink. Have some."

"It looks funny." Buck mumbled through his clamped tight jaw.

"What difference does it make how it looks, it's highly nutritious. And, man oh man, you need some good nutrition. You look like a featherweight." He did, he looked like eyes on a stock.

Buck brought the glass to his mouth. "It smells bad."

"Well it's good for you. So what if it smells funny. Come on now drink it down."

"It's like sickening." Buck touched his nose and made a face.

Buck pushed the drink at Steve and Steve pushed the drink at Buck. 

"Buck, I can see your ribs. . . you look like death." Steve got serious.

"That would be just punishment." Buck mumbled.

"What did you say?"

"Skip it."

"Alright then, hold your nose and drink."

"Later. Set it here. I'll drink it later." 

"Good God, man. I've seen you eat ants out by the river. I'm not even going to bring up the stuff you ate in the army. Now, this is good for you. There's no doubt you need it. So drink it."

"I'm not hungry."

"You're what? You're not hungry? Am I hearing things? Can I believe my ears?" Cap struck the side of his head with his hand a few times. "Who do you think you're talking to? This is me, Steve Rogers. You're not hungry? That's impossible. I was at your house when you had strep throat and you ate like a horse. I remember when you had the mumps, you couldn't even swallow your own spit, and you ate like a horse. There's not been a moment in your life that you've not been hungry. I've seen you eat a full meal right after eating a full meal. I've seen you eat a dozen eggs in like seven minutes. So, don't tell me you're not hungry. If you're not hungry we need to call 911. We need to call an emergency specialist because there's something really wrong here. Now drink this."

"I just need to sleep. I'll be better after I sleep." Buck's voice faded away. 

Steve looked at the dark circles under Bucky's eyes and his disturbing gray skin color. He was fading away just like his voice. Frustrated, Steve carried Tony's masterpiece to Bruce.

"He won't drink this." Steve took a smelled and took a swallow. "Eeeuuu. That does taste bad, but that doesn't matter he's acting like an eight-year-old."

"It's common for someone in his physical shape, someone that has lost that much body fat to lose their appetite. But okay, okay, if he's regressed to an eight-year-old then will treat him like an eight-year-old. Order some organic oranges and make some fresh squeezed orange juice. Get some chocolate milk. Oh, and some strawberries, some organic whole milk, and bananas and some vanilla ice cream. We'll make smoothies."

Tony had a stock of organic oranges. Steve squeezed them by hand and took the juice in to Bucky. Buck took a sip and downed the juice.

"Bruce wants you to get up and walk around the room."  
Buck got out of bed and fiddled with all his wires. He was a frightening sight, jaw wired shut, two IV tubes in the one arm he had, oxygen tube on his face, and he juggled them all with one arm. He stood by the bed.

"How do you feel?"

"Remember when Palsy Walsy had puppies and they tried to walk?" Bucky said with a smile, orange juice surging through his bloodstream.

"Yeah, I sure do," Steve laughed. "I never told you but that was the most traumatic part of my childhood – when we discovered Palsy Walsy wasn't a boy." When Steve's memories fought their way to the surface, when he thought of Bucky's dog, when the synapses fired, this was it, this was the elusive connection Steve sought – a living past. Steve felt big. He felt strong. He felt 12 foot tall. Even the modern world in all it's duplicity, in all it's endless shades of gray, in all it's cruel, rotting, ugliness would not be too much for him now.

****

The Winter Soldier Rehabilitation Program shut down temporarily over the next three weeks. Steve provided Bucky with inventive juices, soups, smoothies, and milkshakes. Bucky would not drink any black, brown or gray liquid at all. Steve tempted him with bright red, orange, yellow, pink and every shade of green liquid and soon Buck sucked down 5000 calories a day. Protein powder, raw eggs, ice cream, every vegetable known to man, everything went into his smoothies and soups. Barnes improved dramatically. By the time Dr. Xhosa came to remove the wire bands on his jaw the dark circles around his eyes were gone. Dr. Xhosa stayed three days with Steve and pronounced Bucky well enough to start Tony's rehabilitation program.

Bruce Banner introduced Bucky to his new arm.

"Tony was highly motivated to outdo your old arm," Bruce said.

"I can see that. Where is he?" Buck gawked with big eyes at his new arm, but he had not laid eyes on Tony since that first night.

"He'll be here for the installation. We estimate it will take between 14 and 20 hours."

"I'm out?"

"For most of it, yes. We need you awake for some. It's invasive. Especially removing the hardware. All this comes off," Bruce pointed to Bucky's stump.

Bruce continued the tour. "Well, it's waterproof, shockproof and fireproof. It has silent movement."

"Really? My Russian arm made all sorts of noises and always at the wrong time."

"It's made of titanium for lightness and Vibrainum for strength. It is virtually uncrushable."

"Vibrainum? Where'd you get the Vibrainum?"

"Steve's shield."

"What? Wow. You used the shield? You mean it's gone?" Bucky whispered, "Aha."

"It has some new features." Bruce noticed he had lost Bucky's attention so he paused.

"I . . . Oh . . . Why would he . . . What a shocker . . . If it's gone it's gone . . . Just go on, I guess."

"Sorry Barnes. That was Tony's decision. The arm has a taser feature. Not powerful enough to kill a human, maybe a small animal, but enough to produce a taser like effect. You could disrupt machinery for instance. It also has enough joules to defibrillate in CPR. It can definitely short out electrical equipment. It has a 5 foot force field you can activate for a few seconds about five times in a row before you're out of juice – handy little feature. This arm is stronger than the Russian arm by double. You could take off a car door with your Russian arm. With this arm you could flip a car."

"Why the big difference?"

"Where the appliance meets the bone. We are installing a metal that allows bone cells to grow into the metal on a cellular level. The Russians did not have that technology. It will take about six months to finish the process to be a true cybernetic arm. This arm is not coming off, Buck, ever, so the arm detaches below the shoulder, at the elbow, wrist, and some of the finger joints, for upgrades, replacement parts and other applications that you may only need to use one time." Banner took the arm apart as an illustration and put it back together.

"Damn."

"And now for the real dazzler. The arm has a hologram feature which I will activate now to impress the hell out of you." Banner smiled with pride. The metal arm became a human looking arm. Bucky laid his right arm next to the prosthesis – they looked identical.

"How is this even possible?" Buck looked at Banner with wide eyes.

"Well, it's a routine function of Tony suit to scan and identify any opponent, download the information and analyze the opponent for weaknesses. So we had precise information. You know, from Siberia? Also, this arm can read your human arm and will adjust the hologram's look as condition change. Say, weight gain or loss, sun tan or age related changes." Bruce beamed with pride.

"I . . . " Buck shook his head many times. A look of wonderment and overwhelming gratitude flowed across Buck's face. 

"I'm going on. We assume you'll wear the arm with the human hologram feature on most of the time. The arm retains the metal feel – so if someone touches the arm the gig is up. You have to know that. When the human hologram is on, the arm is not full strength. The human hologram sucks power and takes all the strength from the arm. With the human hologram on the arm's strength is about equal to your human arm. When you need superstrength the human hologram will dissolve." Bruce turned off the hologram. "When you see this, a metal arm, you know you have full power. When the arm has the look of metal you have superstrength."

"What's the trigger?"

"Your endocrine system," Bruce paused to give Buck processing time.

"Including the pituitary?"

"Yes"

"How's that possible?"

"Third generation carbon nanotubules. About two weeks after installation you won't be able to tell the difference in reaction time from your left and right arm. You think, or more precisely you feel, and the arm responds. We use the fight or flight response for the trigger to deactivate the human hologram. If you feel threatened or anger or fear, your body chemistry will signal the human hologram to shut down instantly, without thinking about it, your arm will have super strength power."

"A higher brain control out of the limbic system would be nice."

"I agree, but we decided the time it would take a higher brain function to feel the threat, to admit there is a threat, to analyze the threat and to make a decision on a course of action, could be the seconds that could cost you. Using the endocrine system functions more like how the human body actually works. It knows first. Also, what you would like is theoretically possible only. Of course, there will be periodic upgrades. The arm is solar powered with back up 25 year lithium polymer battery the latest in battery storage for the size. Tony is working on an arc reactor for the arm but you know he has had problems with shielding."

"How much sun exposure for a full charge?"

"Around two hours of sunlight per 24 hour period, but that's only a prediction. We'll have to run tests with different atmospheric conditions to know exactly. You could always plug in."

Buck laughed, "I don't know what to say."

"Come on, we haven't had so much fun in years."

"When do we start?"

"As soon as you have had all your questions answered."

"You had me at waterproof."

"We have some testing to do today that will determine when you're physically ready. If the tests are good today we're a go for tomorrow."

"Wow."

"Just so you know, your old arm was bionic, yes, and very nice. But after your new arm is installed you will be, technically speaking cybernetic. A Cyborg. Bucky, you have to know the terminology. This is more advanced technology. The cybernetic arm is also artificial technology but it integrates with your body, it relies on some sort of feedback, in this case your artificial arm and your endocrine system."

"Sounds better than Frankenstein's monster which is what I felt like before."

"You think a Cyborg sounds better than a Frankenstein's monster?"

"Yeah . . . Well . . . It doesn't have monster in it."

Buck wandered to the display housing his arm and turned the hologram on and off, studying the arms response. Bruce ordered up testing on his computer. 

"I bet you saw the original Frankenstein movie in a real movie theater."

"More than once."

Steve entered the room all smiles. "Yeah. We were 14. It was at the Roxy."

"We were on a double date."

"Oh right," Steve said sarcastically to Bruce who continued to work while socializing. "A double date with this guy is, Buck two girls, Steve no girls."

"That girl was your date."

"She clearly wanted to be with you, pal." 

"No." Bucky protested but gave up. "Steve, Steve you've got to see this." Bucky drug Steve to the metal arm and activated the hologram. He laid his organic arm next to the cybernetic arm and looked at Steve for his reaction. His large eyes bright as newly minted coins. 

"Holy smokes," Steve exclaimed, "you can't tell 'em apart."  
Banner glowed with pride. Steve drank in the expression on Bucky's face – he looked like he was 14 again. Steve appeared to float. That sense of belonging he had felt so briefly washed over him. He was buoyant. He was home.

Tony Stark watched from his screen laden control room. Everything had become elevated. Tony had a house full of friends, a job, and an important mission. His whole world, the whole world had just moved up about five notches on the happiness scale. There was nothing like it in the world, nothing like doing for another.

****

It took 27 hours to get that arm on James Barnes correctly. Two anesthesiologist, two surgical teams, a wide array of assorted specialist from many disciplines worked a day and then some. They had to bring Bucky up multiple times. No one can be under anesthesia that long without catastrophic side effects. He handled the surgery well. With his cybernetic arm in a sling for two weeks he had little to do, but play with Steve, go on the Internet, watch black-and-white movies, and eat. 

Bucky did not complain of pain, instead he complained about the elaborate sling he had to wear at all times. The sling fastened with Velcro to his chest by a tight shrug that fit over his right arm, chest and his whole new cybernetic arm. The sling fixed his cybernetic hand, with fingers spread out, plastered across his chest. The whole thing could not be removed for two weeks. After the two weeks there was a less elaborate sling for six weeks and then just at night for three months. After that, Bucky could start physical rehabilitation.

Tony and Bruce had planned months of medical, physical and psychological testing for Buck to complete. No one had ever been through what he had and there was probably a Pulitzer in there somewhere for anyone who cared to document it all. Tony's reasoning for such extensive testing was simple, 'anything else broken? It's getting fixed.' 

Buck's first test was a plain CAT scan. He was in a large room with what looked like an MRI machine that was also the CAT scan and PET scan. Tony and Bruce sat at the control board outside the room and watched as the test results came up on their screen.

"What the hell?" Banner yelled.

"What?" Tony said.

"What's this?" Banner tapped his pen on the screen at the area in question. The suspicious object looked like a nickel, a common coin, buried under the dermis layer of the skin on Bucky's right hip. They called him out.

"Does this look familiar?"

"Da . . . " Buck said with a puzzled look on his face.

"Da yes or da no?" Tony was condescending.

"Da . . . I don't know." Buck smiled. "See, look, there's nothing there." Barnes showed the crew his hip area in question. There was no scar, nothing could be felt on the area. He had no memory of an incident but his memory carried no weight with the scientists.

"My guess is . . . it's a tracer, he's being tracked," Tony exclaimed. "We need to get it out and destroy it. Quick." 

With a local, a small incision and two stitches the foreign object was out. The three men hung over the desk and inspected the device.

"This makes sense," Buck said.

"Why?" Tony asked.

"I escaped many times and they always tracked me down."

"Get Steve down here."

The four men delved deeper into the object. Darkness fell over Bucky's face, his brow wrinkled, his eyes darkened and a shadow crept over his heart. This was all too good to be true. His attempt to make amends had put everyone's safety at Solaris in danger. He had exposed the whole compound. These thoughts showed on his face. 

"Steady boy, no one thought any of this would be a cakewalk."  
Tony scanned the object.

"Doesn't this look familiar?" Steve questioned Bucky. "Don't you know what this is?

"Beats me."

"Well, we better figure it out damn quick. Looks like we woke it up, it's emitting a UHF radio pulse. It's probably a bio compatible microchip implant – a radio frequency identifier. Dammit all to hell," Tony railed.

"Any idea how long it's been there, by the tissue or scar?" Steve directed this question to Bruce.

"I'd say a very long time. Maybe the duration of his captivity but there is no scar or scar tissue around it which is very odd, in fact, I find no scars on Barnes anywhere. Odd for someone that was a POW for 70+years."

"Oh, he has scars. Buck show the doctor your cleat scar."

"What?"

"You know the huge 20+ stitches scar from baseball?"

They all looked at Bucky's leg – no scar.

"It was there," Steve said.

"Are you sure this is him?" Tony sounded serious. 

Barnes, not having a solid identity in place appeared to be on the verge of panic. 

"Joke," Tony said slyly and continued. "This has to be beyond Nazi or even Russian technology." Tony considered this tech may be beyond even current technology but he was not ready to say.

The team tried to neutralize the transmitter with various waves, x-rays, radio waves, etc. They tried neutralizing it with BARF waves and it worked.

"It's dead, let's go ahead with the deep scan," Dr. Banner said.

"Yeah, I'm not up for any more surprises," Buck added.

"Let's do it," Tony voted.

With the deep scan, a band of what looked like a laser beam crossed the patient horizontally, then vertically taking about one hour's travel time each pass. 

"Barnes," Bruce said. "You must lay perfectly still for two hours, therefore, you need sedation." 

Bucky laid on the gurney and Bruce started an IV and drew up 5 cc's of Kentahadrenal, street name Tranquility, not an unpleasant sedation. Bruce moved on to calibrate the machine. 

To Bucky's surprise Tony entered the room.

"You said you escaped a few times. Can you fill me in on the details."

"Escape? Yeah sure, if I had any thoughts they were how to get out. I did escape many times. I fought my way out, I snuck out, I killed, I lied, anything. When they had enough of my antics they'd put me on a machine, and I wouldn't think of anything for a long time. But each time I escaped, six times I have good recall of, the last being, now, as far as they're concerned my status is . . . escaped. But each time it took them longer to find me. Since they had the resources of the KGB, the Russian police and the Russian military, I assumed that I was just getting better. To me, at the time, this ruled out the possibility that I was tagged." 

"Maybe they didn't know – " Tony was cut off by Banner who yelled from the other room:

"Can you give him 1 cc? I'm about ready."

Tony picked up the syringe with the 5 cc's of Tranquility and stepped over to the bedside. 

"It's only a matter of time before they find me . . . " Buck laid comfortably stretched out on the gurney, his cybernetic arm strapped tight to his chest by the sling, and his human arm rested on top. Tony turned Buck's hand over exposing his IV port. Tony held his hand. He did not mean for his reaction to happen. He did not want to think about it at all, but there it was all rotten and exposed. This was the hand – not the idea of the hand, not a picture of the hand, not a movie image of the hand, but the real hand.

Buck followed the movement of Tony's hand across his chest. His gaze rested on the port in his arm and Tony's hand on the port. He scanned up Tony's arm to his face where he saw an explosion of emotion. But that was just confirmation. Buck felt it before he saw it. His heart sank through his chest, through the gurney, through Solaris. His heart sank like a nuclear meltdown, like the China syndrome, way down to the center of the earth, to the earth's molten core. All Tony's elaborate plans had been an intellectual exercise. Tony was not over anything. Tony had not risen above anything – how could he? Buck was not over it himself and never would be. At that moment Buck knew the impossibility of this wild endeavor. Buck was damned; he knew his dark destiny. All this was just delaying the inevitable.

"Oh No. Just cut it off, Tony. Just take off my other arm." Buck's liquid eyes implored Tony. 

Tony's hands shook. His face flushed crimson red. 

Bucky had no reserves – no bank to draw from. He had used everything. He had spent it all to get this far. He was empty. He had no way to cope with what was written all over Tony's face.

Buck saw the syringe in Tony's hand and he got an idea. The arm would not have been enough anyway.

"Give it all to me," he begged Tony, "you have every right. No one will blame you. Not even me. End it here. End it now. This is the right way. Go ahead, do it. Give me all the drug. I want you to kill me." 

Buck watched as Tony push the plunger on the syringe. He watched the drug, as the lavender liquid sped through the tubing. 

Tony's eyes glazed. 

Buck held his breath. Then he panted. His eyes darted from Tony's hands to Tony's face back to Tony's hands again. His pupils dilated – he felt it. His cybernetic hand scrunched into a fist inside the tight sling. It was the fight or flight reaction. He faught to keep that arm in check. He fought to not grab Tony by the throat and squeeze the life out of him – to crush the bones in his neck. That was in his mind. He used all his will power to control. His whole body lean towards that one spot. The spot where the needle lay in the vein. This was the level where he functioned. This was the place he had spent most of his life: primal, basic, life or death, kill, or be killed. His body screamed to grab Tony's hand. 

"Argghh," Buck growled. 

Tony push the plunger on. 

Buck felt a warmth in his chest that expanded and spread up both sides of his neck. His rapid respirations ceased. He breathed easy. His head fell back onto the gurney, his eyes closed and he wimpered, "Oh . . . " as the air left his lungs.

Tony's body shook, red rimmed his eyes and still he pushed the plunger forward. 

Buck wanted it over but he was weakened by the drug to control the arm. His cyber arm broke free of the sling that held it and grabbed Tony's arm. Buck's teeth clamped onto Tony's wrist but it was too late. Buck looked out the glass at Steve looking in. 

"Steve?" Buck whispered so slight Steve would never hear it and he shut his eyes. His body relaxed into the blackness, into the sweet oblivion. 

Steve's brow furrowed at the odd expression on Bucky's face. He headed in. 

Tony's hands shook as he removed the syringe from the port. He yanked his arm out of the Cyborg's grip. Tony backed into the medical tray, staggered, shaken. The tray slid across the floor with a metal screech. Tony's gaze never left Bucky and what he had done. Blindly, he reached behind him and put the syringe on the tray.

Tony met Steve at the door.

"What's going on?" Steve asked.

"Not a thing," Tony said fully composed. He called out to Banner, "He's out," Tony walked on to Banner's side. 

Steve touched Buck on his head and bent down to see his face. Bucky slept. He looked over his human arm, and the IV port. Odd, his cybernetic arm had escaped the sling, it's hand fisted. Steve return the arm to the sling, opened the fist to place the hand back into the sling, and found a button held in the hand. A button still attached to a piece of cloth. Steve pocketed the evidence. He checked out Buck's vital signs on the monitor: all in the green. Steve turned to walk out and saw the metal tray all haywire. He picked up the syringe and noted 4cc's of the purple liquid. He laid the syringe on top of the tray. He straighten the tray and left the room. Steve saw the rip in Tony's jacket where a button had been.

"Something going on I should know about?" Steve handed Tony the button.

"He got restless right before he went out. He bit me!" Tony handed Steve the goggles they all had to wear to watch the scan. 

"Sorry Tony," Steve said. "Are you injured? You know human bites - "

"It's nothing." Tony covered his hand.

With a buzz, the beam started at the top of Bucky's head. It was not long before the team freaked out again. As they saw an object form on the screen deep in the brain of James Barnes. They watched on the monitor as the object took shape. It was located by the thalamus gland north of the sphenoid sinuses and looked identical to the tracker found under Buck's skin.

"How can we possibly get that out?" Tony said.

"How'd it get in there?" Steve asked.

"Maybe through the roof of the mouth," Banner suggested.

When the object was seen on the screen in it's entirety an eardrum rumbling hum was heard followed by a static flash and the whole machine shut down with a long winded whine. Steve and Tony hurried to the bedside. Bruce checked the machine and called to them.

"I think it was an overload," he headed in to look Barnes over.  
"Well, he seems unaffected. We're shut down here. It'll take hours to run a diagnostic."

Suddenly, Buck opened his eyes wide. His back arched. His mouth opened and he levitated off the gurney as if being pulled by his chest by a giant unseen hand.

"Grab him!" Bruce yelled, "restrain him!" Banner threw himself over Barnes. All three men quickly placed heavy restraints on Barnes: wide bands across his chest, waist, and thighs. His eyes were open, but he could not see. His body pulled at the restraints. His back bowed.

"What's happening?" Steve's hand on Buck's chest held him down.

"What was that noise we heard right before the shutdown?" Tony question.

"I don't know, but here it is again."

They heard the hum, saw the flash of static, and a figure materialized in the corner of the room. A small human form pointed to Barnes and said, "This is my specimen I will take it."

"And who the hell are you?" Tony yelled.

"My name is Dandalo. I'm a surveyor. This is my specimen. I will take it." 

Tony glanced at Steve and Bruce.

"This is my specimen, and he's not going anywhere," Tony out shouted his visitor.

"He's not a specimen," Steve snapped back. "Could you please relax your pull on him. Look!" Steve pointed at Bucky who fought the restraints with his back arched as if he was being electrocuted.

"Oh, I apologize," the creature touched a band on it's wrist and Barnes relaxed into his drugged sleep. 

Dandalo moved to Bucky's side, marking it's territory.

"It was you who disabled my tracking device by some unknown method," the creature added sarcasm to the tirade. "This alerted me that something was afoul with my specimen. When you scanned my control chip, I was forced to come here in an immediate, unconventional and rude manner to protect my property." Dandalo's eyes flashed big and the voice rose loud, and firm on the last three words, 'protect my property.' The creature placed it's hands on Buck's shoulder and wrist, and stared across the gurney at Tony, baring sharp little teeth.

Tony was livid. He placed his hand on Bucky's cybernetic shoulder by his neck and his other hand on Bucky's thigh and stared back at Dandalo.

"Control chip? Control Chip! Your control chip enabled evil doers on this planet to capture, torture, brainwash, and force this individual human (Tony emphasize the word individual human) to commit heinous acts of murder, essentially mass murder, assassinations, and mayhem. This person has been damaged. He may be damaged beyond repair. We are trying to repair, but . . . " 

Dandalo's eyes grew sad and changed color from cool green to golds and pinks. The corners of it's mouth dropped as Tony spoke. It gasped. "Oh, this is extreme. It is against all rules, laws and morals of my people. It is against my personal ethics to do harm to others. Our whole society is based on the tenant, do no harm. I am in sorrow and I will never leave sorrow for the rest of my existence."

"Well, okay then," Tony mumbled. This was obviously a very emotional creature.

Dandalo swore with hands raised. "From this moment forth, my only function will be to use whatever is in my power to help restore the specimen to his original functioning."

"Including removal of the control chip?" Tony snapped back.

"I will remove the control chip . . . after I collect the survey data from the specimen."

"Survey data? Survey data!" Tony barked. He leaned in over Barnes and pushed the gurney toward Dandalo. Dandalo followed suit, leaned in and stopped the gurney's movement. 

"My study is longitudinal." Dandalo pushed the gurney back at Tony.

"Is that supposed to mean something to me?" Tony stopped the gurney.

"The specimen is unique among all other specimens we have collected from this planet and maybe beyond. I need the survey data."

Tony glared at Dandalo.

Dandalo leaned in, their faces inches apart over Barnes. Dandalo whispered to Tony, "I am saying this specimen may be singular in the universe."

"All people here are genetically unique."

The heads of Steve and Bruce bounced back and forth like ping-pong ball as they followed the negotiation.

"The act of completing the survey will do no harm to the specimen."

"Now, that's an empty promise." 

"You could personally supervise all the data collection."

"I really could care less."

Dandalo's large eyes scanned the room. "I will share with you all the data collected."

"Deal," Tony said without a second's hesitation, "how do we proceed?"

Dandalo raised it's graceful arms and waived it's hands over Barnes multiple times.

"It seems my specimen is unconscious and restrained." The aliens arms flew a few more times over Barnes. 

"You can prepare the specimen for transport. We will all go to the ship." 

Dandalo backed away from the gurney.

Tony did the same. He motioned Dandalo to the door and out of the room. He turned to Steve and Bruce, waved his hands frantically, imitating Dandalo and said, "well, prepare the specimen."

****

Tony and Dandalo strolled down the hall a few feet. Dandalo stopped with a jerk in front of the BARF machine. 

"I am noticing this interesting machine I can not identify."

"Oh yeah, this is what neutralized your tracker."

"I am intrigued. We rarely make one to one contact outside of the specimens we collect, but when we do, we have been open to the possibility of the exchange of technology. We find this is a profitable enterprise for both parties, is culturally significant in advancing both parties, and reduces conflict."

An incredulous Tony, who dreamed of alien technology, readily, openly, explained the BARF machine to Dandalo.

As they talked, Tony got his first sustained look at his alien visitor. The creature stood under 5 feet tall, very much a humanoid with large eyes, emerald in color with flakes of chartreuse that moved and sparked around the iris. The skin was carmel colored with a not unpleasant hint of lime. The hair rich mahogany brown that curled around the head, forehead and down the neck and gave the impression of vines. The fabric of the alien's clothing was textured with patterns that looked similar to tree bark or the veins of leaves. The whole package look edible, thought the carnivore, Tony Stark – like something in an Asian salad. This individual conveyed the highest order of androgyny, almost prepubescent, strong and graceful, supple and hard as nails. Male? Female? This was anyone's guess. Tony could not remember the last time he was so impressed. He made a snap decision.

"I would like to go to your ship with you, make a safety check, and then send for the others."

"A reasonable and acceptable request."

****

Before Tony could regret what he just said he was standing in front of a large bay window overlooking the Earth 500 miles away. To say he was disoriented was an understatement. Dandalo stood by his side, "Do you want more safety assessment, or can I bring the others up?"

"You can bring them up, thank you," Tony did not look up from the sight of the earth below him.

Things moved fast the next few hours. Tradition with Dandalo's race was to think fast, talk fast and act without hesitation. Barnes who had a good hour left of his knockout drops was surveyed. Tony was in attendance. As Dandalo promised the procedure was moderately invasive, but acceptable. 

Bucky went on to a surgery suite for the removal of the control chip. It had been, as conjectured, placed in the brain through the roof of the mouth, and that is just how they removed the chip. The surgical suite was literally out of this world. They used what they called a molecular separator to remove the chip. Tony placed that on his wish list for future trades. 

The last stop was what was called the recovery room. It looked more like a spa to Tony: pleasant objects, relax lighting, warm colors, good air circulation. Tony was told recovery would take 45 minutes. Tony shook his head – recovery from brain surgery in 45 minutes? He was asked to join Steve and Bruce in the lounge. Barnes would join them when released. Tony did not protest. He had a lot he wanted to drink over. 

Steve, Bruce and Tony sat in the bar/lounge of Dandalo's ship. The bar was somewhat like any other bar, dim lights, and music. The music of Earth. When the team commented on the music playing, the bartender made the most astonishing statement. In all the ship's travels, Earth was the only civilization to create music. Tony went on and on about how every musician on earth needed an immediate pay raise. They laughed, relaxed and drank an intoxicating beverage – already intoxicated by the mind blowing last two hours. The mood was celebratory.

****

Two hours later, Bucky appeared in the doorway. He had not only been debugged but coffered and manicured, clean-shaven, clear eyed and dressed in the white of the medical department. He took the last seat at the table.

"How are you?" Bruce said.

"I must be dead, I feel so fantastic," Buck flexed his muscles like a shiver, and looked around suspiciously, "am I not dead, Tony?"

They all laughed except Tony.

Bucky continued in all seriousness, "this could be heaven, but I know I'd never go there."

They all laughed louder. 

"No, you're not dead, Buck." Steve pointed his index fingers to where Bucky could not see. Time slowed. In slow motion Bucky followed Steve's finger to the huge bay window. His mouth fell open and he glided to the window. He placed his human hand on the glass for balance and stared at Earth in the distance. He did not turn around but said:

"Will someone please tell me what the hell's going on?"

Major laughter erupted.

"Go get your buddy a drink," Tony said to Steve. He joined Bruce and Bucky at the window to explain the last few hours.

Steve stood with his back to the bar with his elbows on the bar, one foot on the footrest. He stared at his friends at the window with Earth back lighting them. Music of Earth filled the room. Tony related the whole unbelievable story to Bucky. Buck shook his head, stood on one foot then the other and ran his hand through his hair a few times. Tony convinced Bucky that he had been successfully, permanently, deprogrammed. Bucky smiled. There were handshakes, backslaps, congratulations, thanks, and hugs all around; immediately followed by merciless teasing. Banner joked that no one had seen Barnes smile in 75 years. Tony said he didn't even know Bucky had teeth and on, and on. Bucky felt the smile would never leave him. It was an elated moment. Steve watched his friends. There was a nobility to them at this moment that touched Steve deeply. There was a beauty in their attempts to move beyond their pain and suffering, to move beyond stoic acceptance. Steve swore he heard that choir singing again. The drinks arrived.

****

After some time, Dandalo and two medical staff came into the lounge.

"Greetings. As part of recovery, Sergeant Barnes will sleep now. The brain must sleep. I will give the rest a tour of my ship."

Buck wanted the tour and said to Dandalo, "the brain feels like it just woke up." He wanted to be with his friends. He wanted to learn the details of what happened this day. Tony injected him with the drug and the next thing he knew, he was standing in the doorway of a lounge on an alien spacecraft. He felt uneasy and unsure. He was not 100% sure, what he was experiencing was reality. He did not want to be alone.

"You will sleep." Commanded Dandalo.

The medical attendants took Buck to a sleep cubicle. The room was small but had good air circulation. The room was quiet, dark and cool. He laid in the dark and felt the cool air across his skin. His thoughts were of the words. To really be convinced he wanted the words to be spoken over him and see what happened. He could not rest with this issue open. He spoke out loud to himself in Russian:  
"Longing," he tried to feel a reaction to the word.  
"Rusted," he took a breath.  
"Furnace," he listened to it hang in the air.  
"Daybreak," he felt an increase in breathing.  
"Seventeen," he began to feel nervous in his stomach.  
"Benign," his voice cracked.  
"Nine," his cybernetic fingers pressed the sling.  
"Homecoming," he let it out.  
"One," he said in a whisper. Nothing happened. He thought this was probably a worthless experiment. He nodded off for a second. The brain was half asleep. He needed the words to be read over him, read to him.

He said out loud. "Computer?" 

The ship's computer answered. 'Operational.'

"Translator."

'Yes'

"Translate the following into the earth language Russian." 

"Longing, rusted, furnace . . ."

'Zhelaniye, rzhavyy, semnadtsat . . . '

Buck went out again and woke with a start. He told himself to relax, to get over this obsession with the words.

"Stop program," he said.  
The computer said 'stop program' in Russian.

"No," said Barnes, "discontinue."  
The computer said 'no' and 'discontinue' in Russian.

" Ah, to hell with it." 

'To hell with it,' the computer said in Russian.

Barnes chuckled. He shut his eyes and felt the friendly air move across his skin, around his chest, his face, his neck, and his arms. He spread out on the bed. His lips trembled and he pressed them together. He felt an itchy heat around his eyes. He breathed in the cool air. The air touched him like a caress. This was the only love he was going to get. It was easy to imagine a soft hand brushing his hair, or stroking his brow. His hair blew like delicate feathers and tickled his lips and cheeks; tickled like the feathers of a sweet little bird that danced on his face. He heard words in the air, in the birds soft embrace, 'I'm here', 'you're not alone', 'I touch you', 'you feel good', 'you can do good', 'you are good', 'don't give up', 'I'm here with you', the air spoke to him. 

"Please . . . " he prayed to the little bird. He fell asleep.

****

Dandalo started the tour with a review of it's most prized possession; all of the technology the ship had collected in their travels. Always a person of swift pragmatism, Dandalo guided Tony to possible items of interest that would be of equal trade for Tony's BARF machine – something Dandalo wanted badly. Tony's eyes lit up when Dandalo said the words Time Machine. 

"Oh yes, the Time Machine. This is how we collect our specimens," Dandalo said. "Your friend is a perfect example. It was seen on our scanners that he was falling from a great height." Banner and Tony glanced at Steve. "Probability of death was 99.9%. Before impact we picked him up. We did the survey, tagged him, and used the time portal to put him safely on the ground where, and when he would have fallen. Our scanner showed other humans in the vicinity, so we left him. Many of your stories of miraculous survival are due to our interference, no doubt."

"No doubt." Tony's mind reeled.

"And his arm was damaged . . . How?" Steve asked.

"Not by us. Of course, I was not there personally but he was 100% intact. We have detailed records. Added the two chips. Nothing beyond cell samples was subtracted."

"Wow."

The conversation ran on to the details of the time portal. Yes, it was for trade.

"Be alerted," Dandalo said. "Time travel is tricky business. The 44 Rules of Time Travel must be adhered to in every detail, precisely, or unimaginable negative consequences can and have happened. But, if this is your choice and you sign the intergalactic contract to follow the 44 Rules of Time Travel, the deal is done."

"This is my choice. I would like to see the 44 rules, the specs, and the contract. What would be the point of having the machine if I couldn't use it." Tony flipped his hand.

As Tony stared into the fascinating orbs Dandalo used for eyes he realized his feelings for Dandalo were complex. Since first contact, over the battleground of Buck's body, Tony had wanted to win, to dominate, to ravage Dandalo in some way. Even Dandalo's smell intoxicated him. He wanted to get closer to Dandalo, to touch, to taste, to squeeze, or something. The pull was strong. Tony would find away. The very next work cycle Dandalo sent for Tony.

"Greetings."

Tony nodded politely.

"In keeping with my commitment to restore your friend Barnes, I would like you to see this," Dandalo started the monitor footage of Buck asleep.

"We, of course, monitor for complications after surgery like he had. He saw none. But we saw this," Dandalo reset to show what looked like Bucky having some kind of sleep disturbance. Tony watched in horror.

"Is this a sign of the damage you were talking about?"

"Yes it is."

"Very distressing. Can you fix? We cannot. We do not have this."

"It's a human condition I think I can eliminate. Thank you. When will Barnes be released by your medical staff?"

"He is released."

"I want to send him back now to start treatment right away. There's no reason he should have to go through another night like that."

"Well done, sir. Will you send the good doctor too?"

"All three will go." Tony continued. "When we first talked, you mentioned, Barnes being unique in someway. What did you mean?"

Dandalo fooled with the computer a second and an image formed.

"Can you identify?"

As the image was being built by the computer, Tony thought, snowflake, crystal, magnesium and then he said, "Lithium . . . but?"

"Yes, lithium, but not exactly lithium. This element is in your friends blood," Dandalo said.

"You discovered this on initial contact?"

"Yes we did. The element is in an inert state. We have isolated the element. Many worlds have tried to activate it in all ways known to us. It's function and purpose remain a mystery. There are many theories. Dominant theory is the element is some kind of power source. How the element could be used is highly debated, but consensus of opinion states it's something complex, like teleportation or regeneration, a weapon, a catalyst or initiator in a larger structure. If ever activated, we will crack it in a moment."

"Have you named this element?" 

"ILLUMINE."

****

Bucky Barnes had been at Solaris under two months and already he was armed and deprogrammed, way ahead of schedule. Tony had nothing to complain about and nothing to worry about, he thought. Tony wished Dandalo had not used the word weapon, for it planted a seed in his mind. Did Tony really have full awareness of what he was getting into with his Winter Soldier project? Who really knew the extent of what Hydra was into, or what the Russians were into when they had Barnes. Who really knew who else he was passed to, or if the rumor was true that the Winter Soldier was sold to the highest bidder, multiple times, to do whatever the payer wanted done. To hell with it, Tony thought. He was in and he was staying in. No primordial element was going to get him to balk.

"ILLUMINE, nice name, but creating a new element seems way beyond the capability of a 1940s earth super soldier program." Tony stared at the new element floating in 3D on the monitor.

"Unless stumble upon, or created by accident. I will send all the data when we find an interface with your computer system," Dandalo said. 

Tony stood as close to Dandalo as he had ever stood. As he thought of the word interface a small smile moved over his face.

"You know a lot about humans form Earth. Don't you?"

"Yes, we have surveyed your world 100+ years."

"Yet, I know very little about you. I don't even know the name of your planet."

"Torn, we are Torns from the planet Torn."

"Thank you. What is your main food source?" 

Dandalo stared at Tony. "I'm sure you know the answer to that by my jaw and tooth structure. Now, what do you really want to know?" Dandalo beamed those search light eyes on to Tony. The creature continued to blow Tony's his mind. He was thrilled. Thrilled beyond words.

"Are you male or female?"

Dandalo gave a jerk to it's head and a half smile – a smile that shows the tip of the sharp teeth.

"Ah ha, if you are asking do I have an appendage that can impregnate? Yes, we all have that. And can I be impregnated? Yes, we all can. We are Androgyns."

Not breaking eye contact from Dandalo's powerful gaze, Tony said, "How do you choose?"

"We look in the eyes for a time."

"Like we are doing now?"

"Not exactly. We look in the eyes for a period of time and whatever happens or doesn't happen is considered right."

"No judgment?"

"On this subject there is none."

"Can you show me?" Tony sounded braver then he really was.

"Ah ha," Dandalo said, again with the head tilt, small smile with teeth, "I have to say, when I first saw you. I could imagine you roasting on one of our barbecues. You looked delicious to me. Now, I see you are too good to roast." Dandalo thought for a split second. "Yes, I will show you. When the work cycle is done, come to my cubit."

Dandalo invaded Tony's personal space, looked directly into Tony's eyes and took a deep inhaled smell of him, around his chest and shoulders. A flash of yellow raced across Dandalo's irises as pheromones surged it's alien brain.

"Good day." Dandalo went out the door.

Tony felt his heart race. He sat to regain his composure. A few deep breaths later he called in Rogers, Banner and Barnes. He showed them the film.

****

Tony started the playback with Buck sound asleep. He stretched the neck of his shirt to pull it away from his windpipe. He yelled out. His heels slid up and down in the bed like he was running somewhere. He struggled for breath. He kicked at the bed and pulled at his neck with one hand like someone was strangling him. He yelled 'stop' in Russian. He gulped for air. He put his chin down on his chest and hissed air in and out rapidly. He hit at something above him that no one could see. He pushed himself into the corner of the bed. He kicked and pushed whatever it was away from him. His heart beat so fast it seemed his whole body was pulsating. He gasped for air. He batted something away from his face. His eyes were huge and black with pupil dilation. His legs jerked towards the foot of the bed and his hand flew in front of his chest. He kicked and pushed so violently he fell off the bed onto the floor. 

He quickly backed himself up against the wall. He winced and put his hand over his ear, yelled out, and shook all over his body. He laid flat on the floor and shook so violently it was as if a seizure overtook him. He hit the wall multiple times with his cybernetic elbow, causing extensive damage to the wall, even-though, the arm remained stuck in the sling. Who knows what damage could have been done if the cybernetic arm had escaped the sling. 

He rolled onto his hand and knees, on all fours like a dog. He gasped for air. He coughed violently many times over and over. His body made rhythmic regurgitation movements. He gagged and spit and threw up on the floor trying to clear his airway. He laid with his face on the floor and sucked at the liquid that was there. 

Moans and groans were heard from the watchers. "Oh my God." Banner said. 

But it was not over, Buck shook his head like a dog and yelled 'stop', he yelled 'no'. He threw himself against the wall and kicked himself down the wall to the corner of the room. There he sat with his arm around his knees, his head on his arm and he wept. He wept like a child. Occasionally, he brushed something out of his hair or kicked at something that was not there. The whole episode lasted around five minutes.

By the end of the film it was hard to tell what viewer was most upset, Steve, Bucky or Dr. Banner.

"I'm sorry," Buck whispered.

"Don't," Steve whispered back.

"Does any of this look familiar?" Tony questioned.

"I woke up in a corner like that many times. I never knew why – till now."

"Dr. Banner?"

"Looks like PTSD sleep terror to me . . . my first impression."

"You want to see it again?" Tony chided.

"NO!" Yelled Steve, Buck and Banner simultaneously.

Tony was angry. This was a common diagnosis with combatants. If we have our soldiers crippled in this way and we can not fix them, we need to rethink armed conflict. 

Tony made eye contact with Bucky. Buck bristled. Tony entered Bucky's personal space. Buck jerked back.

"What da ya think I'm gonna hit ya? Relax." Tony placed both hands on Bucky's metal arm. "Relax!" He removed the arm from the sling. He moved the joints gently, and examined every inch of the arm, shoulder, wrist, Bucky's chest and fingers for damage. He took his time. 

Buck forced himself to relax but the emotion over this act played out on his face as he witnessed Tony's caretaking behavior. His eyelids fluttered and he looked away. Buck was cognizant that Tony was just looking after his property but that is not how it felt. Tony jerked his human arm and Bucky looked at him again.

"There's not going to be a repeat performance of any of this, tonight, or any other night. Are you reading me? It's over. I can eradicate that shit from your mind and I will do so, starting now.  
Are we communicating?" 

Bucky could not answer but shook his head.

"You know I can do what I say."

"I'm betting my life on it."

"Okay then, you guys are going back . . . now." Tony's statement was followed by a shocked hesitation.

Buck regrouped instantly. He focused his steel blue gaze on Tony and spoke authoritatively.

"And leave you without security or communication on an alien space craft?" 

"Protest noted."

"You might as well save your breath, Buck, his mind is made up," Steve said.

"Allow me to explain. Dandalo and I are having trouble finding an interface." The crew understood Tony's interest in Dandalo and they razzed him with their body language.

"Computer interface. This is first contact, people. First contact has to be done with care. I would like to not have the exorcist here on my mind, or any of you, really. Look, I have to wrap things up with the tech trade. I have a ton of specs, contracts, and rules to read. I repeat. We do not have a computer interface with this technology. This is history being written. Dandalo is going to do a huge data dump to me." Again, snickers from the crew. "The best thing you all can do is to go back and assure me there will be no repeat of what we just witnessed on the screen. Captain America take charge. Banner, everything is on the computer."

"Yes. I know. I put it there." Bruce quipped.

"Sorry Bruce. And you," Tony said to Bucky, "relax, here," and Tony slapped down one of Dandalo's communicators into Bucky's hand. "Now goodbye – two days – three at the most. Get lost."

****

Alone on an alien spacecraft. Barnes was right – this enterprise was foolhardy. The whole episode reminded Tony of his one experience mountain climbing. Not far from the summit, Tony saw what he thought was a better way to the top than the guide's choice, so he took it. It was crazy to do, but he will never forget the feeling he had when the guide, and the group disappeared from view. It was irresponsible, but he stood alone on the mountaintop. It was a moment he will never forget. A moment like . . . now.

Later that evening a bespectacled Tony sat in front of a computer rolling off complex technical data when his ship communicator signaled and he heard the distinctive lilt in the voice of James Barnes. 

"Hey, testing 1 2 3 4."

"Barnes, you still have that communicator?"

"I won't give it to 'em."

"Oh, I see."

"Are you okay?" Buck said. 

"Yes, but you sound funny."

"Banner DRUGGED me."

"That's nice."

"They want me to go to sleep."

"That's a good idea. Go ahead."

"Okay. Good night, Tony."

"Good night, Bucky."

Tony glanced at the communicator in his hand. It was a strange, and complex life. Tony wanted to restore Barnes. He was 100% invested. He could now tolerate looking at him in person. He could even touch him if necessary. But he was not ready to like the guy, even though Barnes had charisma and was immensely likable. Tony was not ready to go there. Good night Bucky, indeed. Tony vowed to never be that familiar again, never again to call him by his name. He had to watch it. Tony turned to Dandalo.

****

Captain America was one happy son of a bitch to be back on planet earth. He found the whole outer space experience, as short as it was, totally disorienting. There are no days. There is no time really. There is no gravity. There is no running water, no north or south. There is oxygen but there is no air or breeze. He found it damned unpleasant. 

Steve was eager to get back to his original assignment from Tony, what amounted to being the personal trainer for the cybernetic arm, and of course, the Cyborg attached to it. The arm must adhere to a strict training schedule of increased intensity over the next three months. Too light of training, and the nanotechnology string would stop; too heavy, the strings would get over excited and migrate where they were not wanted. Progress could be tracked by periodic PET scan. The prospect of getting to do something tangible for his friend, and spend the lion's share of the day in what looked like play, sounded like heaven on earth.

People always say they are so happy to be on the ground they could throw themselves down and kiss the earth beneath their feet. How many people actually do it? Steve thought. Steve was on his way down the five stories underground to the beach level of Solaris and out the back door. He planned to throw himself on the sand and kiss it. He wanted to take Buck and Bruce with him as witnesses.

Banner was not at the monitor panel. Steve checked out the huge monitor that flashed some 20 lines of data on each of five or six panels. All lines clicked and beeped and churned on their way. Yellow desk chairs dotted the field. Steve's gaze wandered into the exam room. All rooms were decked out with Tony's new glass from ceiling to the half wall. Beneath the class, within the half walls, held all the complex electronic circuitry. The windows could blacken, but they were not at this time. Steve glanced into the BARF room. The BARF machine loomed across the whole south wall as mysterious as the monolith from 2001 A Space Odyssey. 

Even in the dim light Steve saw clearly – Buck laid on the gurney, and Bruce sat beside him on a stool. Steve headed in, but stopped when he saw something intimate going on between them. 

Banner held Buck's human arm with the underside exposed. 

"You're not going to bite me are you?" Banner joked.

"No… I don't do that anymore." Bucky smiled.

Both Bruce and Barnes focused on a spot on Bucky's arm and Bruce injected something directly into Buck's vein. Both men concentrated on the needle and watched as the lavender tinged liquid slowly disappeared into Buck's body. Banner held Bucky's arm and they watched each other's eyes as the drug over took the patient. Buck's mouth slacked opened, his back arched in a strange way and he breathed in short choppy breaths. His gaze fixed on Bruce. His eyelids fluttered. His eyes rolled back in his head. His muscles relaxed. 

"Ah . . . ah," Barnes said. His eyes closed. All the air escaped from his lungs in a big whoosh. His head wobbled before relaxing on his shoulder. Banner slowly removed the needle and put a pad over the hole. He leaned over Buck. He touched his face and forehead. He opened Buck's eyes and shined his pen light in with a flicking motion. Banner checked the room monitor. He put a circle Band-Aid over the hole he made in Buck's arm.

Steve made his presence known. 

"Hey," Bruce said without movement. "Sorry, Steve. I know no one wants Barnes drugged, but I'm not going to be powered up here for at least 12 hours. When I got him on the monitor I could see the extent of cerebral edema and irritability. Given what happened last night I really had no choice but to put him out of his misery. I hope you don't mind. He needed Tranquility and I gave him Tranquility."

"You don't have to justify yourself to me. I can see the shape he's in and I don't need an EEG machine." Steve thought for a moment, "Oh, Tranquility? You mean the drug Tranquility?"

"Yes, the drug."

"I thought that was addictive."

"Yes, it's a very addictive. This is the second time he's had it and he DID NOT protest."

"Geez, then don't give it to him again."

"I don't foresee a need – after I start the BARF treatment."

"I wouldn't question your methods . . . but it did look odd the way you looked at him."

"By his reactions I can tell how much drug to give. What's the point in using something like Tranquility if he doesn't get 8 to 10 good hours of sleep out of it. I think we're right on the money." Bruce turned his attention to the monitor. "And look at the brain now, look at those beautiful theta waves. There will be no horse play tonight."

"Good. Then can you come out to the beach with me?" Steve gave Bruce a broad smile.

"I will be ready in two minutes." Bruce took out his iPad, "Oh, look the tide is out, clear sky, 61° and a full moon." Banner talked as he worked. "I'll put him on remote – we'll take him with us. I have to watch for delta waves. If he stays in non-REM sleep too long I'll have to run back and wake him. That's always when that nonsense of last night occurs." Bruce pecked around on his iPad. "Just let me split the screen, monitor room, vitals board, done, let's go."

****

They went down the elevator the five stories and out the back door. The night was magical: gentle breeze, calm sea, starry night. A bright moon glow shimmered on the water. The sand felt warm from the heat of the day. The mighty Pacific ocean was at rest that night with a gentle soothing beat of the waves. The calls of the night birds going about their business, called out, 'I'm home, I'm home,' to the humans from earth. Steve laid himself out and kissed the sand. Uncharacteristically, he rolled over on the sand, interlaced his fingers behind his head, crossed his legs at the ankles and gazed at the stars.

"God, I love this place."

Bruce sat beside him in lotus and propped up his iPad on a little sandbar. 

Steve waxed on. "How did you feel up there?" Steve waited a second for an answer but continued without one. "I've never seen dark like that Bruce . . . the blackness. How much of it is there? I mean, it's most of the universe, isn't it?"

"Most of the universe is empty . . . so they say."

"It freaked me out." Steve shuttered over his whole body.

"It's hard to grasp even for scientists."

"And looking down on the earth . . . like the shine of the earth with that thin layer of atmosphere . . . "

"That struck me too. All life depending on that few miles of something so fragile, something almost invisible, you can't even see it."

"You look into the darkness and back at the earth. The earth looked like heaven to me. I think it is heaven. I think we're living in heaven right now and we don't know it." Steve glanced at Bruce. 

Banner switched from lotus to cobra and faced the iPad with the ocean in the background. He cupped his face in his hands. "If people believed that . . . it would change everything."

****

The next day they did not recall how long they laid on the beach. Steve did not get much sleep. He spent much of the night with Bruce watching Bucky – ready to wake him at any sign of craziness. The night passed without incident.

When he woke, Barnes said the same thing he said the last time he took Tranquility. "I feel fantastic."

"That's good. Enjoy it. You won't feel fantastic when I tell you what you have to do today," Bruce said.

"Shoot."

"Good news first, as you slept I finish the scan that Dandalo interrupted. No surprising results you'll be glad to know."

"Great idea, thank you."

"The second good news is I only need you for two hours today," 

"Are you building up to something here?" Bucky said.

"Last night you were monitored by the external electrodes. Today we place the internal electrodes. These 1 mm silicone-based electrodes are injected in a liquid medium into the dermis layer of the skin." Bruce held up one with a tweezer.

"No problem." Bucky expanded his chest to the limit.

"The electrodes are injected over 50 places under your scalp."

"50?"

"It's not a comfortable procedure but once in, they never have to be removed, and will give an unprecedented coverage of brainwave activity plus it's a two way street; BARF waves in, brain waves out. If that doesn't convince you, 100% of the time the external electrodes interfere with R.E.M. sleep."

"I'm not going to refuse anything you want done. Let's get it over with."

"Do you want sedation?"

"I quit feeling pain around 1973. Guess I reached my life time limit by then." Bucky said in all seriousness, then he laughed.

"You know that isn't funny." Steve said.

"Try one. I may not feel a thing."

Banner injected the electrode. Buck yelled loud, but did not move his head. "That hurt like hell . . . it's still stinging. Damn! Oh . . . Oh, just go ahead."

Steve used distraction techniques by showing Bucky his spreadsheet for the cybernetic arms rehabilitation program. Steve loved that stuff; like Steve's attention to Bucky's liquid diet when his jaw was wired shut.

"This schedule is impressive. Beach everyday. Yeah." said Bucky.

"Beach? No beach." Said the doctor. "No sun today." 

"Swimming. Great," Buck tried.

"No saline on the head today."

"Boxing, wrestling, great."

"Hell no, not today."

"Weight room?"

"Tomorrow."

"Games?"

"Yes, do that." Banner gave that much.

Bucky read the full schedule.

"Look at that, three meals a day. Can you imagine, three meals a day." Buck rubbed his hand across his forehead.

Steve and Bruce glanced at each other. These occasional glimpses into Bucky's former life in captivity tugged at the heartstring of the most macho of men.

After 20 injections, many of which bled, Buck was irritable. Bruce decided to give him some nitrous oxide for the remaining injections. Steve chose to wait outside so Bucky could concentrate on the next needle going into his scalp. When it was over, Buck looked roughed up a bit. Banner relented and said they could go outside if Barnes wore a hoodie.

"Do what's essential for the arm but take the day off guys. Goof around. Lay around. Eat. Watch movies. You know, Barnes, movies would be the best document for you to get a real feel for the seven decades that you've missed."

Barnes and Rogers brightened at the thought of movies. Movies were a way of life for kids in the 1930s and 1940s. Kids played until exhausted then went to the movies. Everyone went two or three times a week. Theaters were always full.

"Great idea, Bruce. We can start where we left off in 1942. Anything you want to see before I get that project together? You know Tony is a classic Hollywood addict. He has hardcopies of practically everything four stars and over."

"Yeah, I want to see the Manchurian Candidate and the Exorcist." Both movies the benefactor of it all, Tony Stark, had referenced in Bucky's presence. Steve was not surprised Barnes remembered and would want to know what the hell Tony was talking about.

Tony's love for classic Hollywood was well documented. Artifacts of his addiction could be found sprinkled here and there around Solaris. He even went as far as installing yellow brick laminate in all work area hallways. He put a lot of time, money and effort into his prize area, what he called his screening room. His Cinema room was as beautiful as the old movie palaces it emulated – all Art Deco. The movie screen was made of glass; Tony's newly developed glass, same as the windows. Tony found his glass gave an unparalleled movie viewing experience. Sofas and chairs were set up along the sides of the room with a square coffee table in the middle of the room, metal with ornate art deco legs. The table looked original. The sofas and chairs were modern reproductions of Art Deco designs. In the back of the room sat tables and chairs and a full service bar.

Buck took a sofa and laid himself out and stuck his bare feet over the back. Steve sat in the chair by the sofa and picked up a control tablet. Bruce, the eternal hippy sat on the floor. Bucky drug the hoodie over his head and snuggled in, waiting and hoping, to be carried away to some far off land that had nothing to do with reality: Tarzan, Pirates, Flash Gordon, Cowboys and Indians.

Steve hesitated to set his drink on the table.  
"This table must be worth a fortune." 

"You have good taste. I think it did cost a cool million."

"Bruce, do you know anything about these two movies?" Steve said.

"Yeah, I think the Exorcist is about a demonic possession and the Manchurian Candidate . . . must be about karate or kung fu."

"A whole movie about Karate? Wow!" Steve fiddled with the tablet. "What's first?"

"Demonic possession? Uh . . . not tonight." said Bucky.

"Okay, The Manchurian Candidate, 1950 Black-and-white. Five stars, almost 5 stars. The point on one stars missing. Even after all these years - 98 and 90 and Rotten Tomatoes. That's impressive."

There were many tense, uncomfortable and shocking scenes in the movie. There was a karate fight scene but other than that, no one in the room had any idea what the movie was about. If they had, they would have made another choice. After they read the end credit, Buck sat on the end of the sofa faced Steve, "I would never have bet two cents on Sinatra ever being that good of an actor."

"Oh, me either." Steve said.

"Who was the director?"

"Are you guys going to ignore the themes of this movie?" Bruce said.

Steve and Buck said in unison, "Yes."

"You're not going to talk about the brainwashed assassin?"

Bucky and Steve, "NO."

"You guys are so 1940s. We talk about things like suicide and incest out in the open now. We brought these dark things to light. See how it's done. Bucky, what do you think of his solution?"

Buck froze, his face became a mask. Steve sat on the edge of his chair and looked at Bucky like he was going to pop open like a seed pod from Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

"Bucky?"

"Bruce. Not now." Steve said.

"I want to answer you but that's a dark subject. I try not to dwell on the dark subjects. What happened to me I thought was beyond anyone's imagination. Now, here it was in a movie. But it wasn't like you get brainwashed and you have a nice clean brain. They don't just erase your memory they take everything, they empty your mind. I couldn't imagine what that would be like. I can't describe it to you. It's like you exist but you don't exist. I couldn't judge the passing of time. To this day I still can't. Seems like three or four years since I was first captured . . . and sometimes it seems like 1000 years. I forgot myself."

"Buck, please, you don't have to . . ."

"No, Steve I wanna answer. The machine empties your mind, anything, anything they put back in was like the rising sun. I should've thought of it. If I ever realized what they were using me for, a real man would've done it just to stop 'em. I guess you have to be human to think of suicide. I didn't know much. But one thing I did know, I was no longer human. Whatever it means to be human, they took that from me."

"Bucky, please stop, please no more, no more tonight," Steve moved to the sofa and sat beside Buck. He placed his hand on the back of the sofa. Buck looked at Steve's face and nodded to him.

"Okay, so, no I didn't think of it. When I saw this twerp," Bucky pointed to Steve with his thumb like he was hitchhiking. "And I knew him. I knew a human. A big bright spot appeared in my mind and everything changed. So, I just keep looking at that ridiculous face. Go into the dark on purpose? I don't do that."

"You mean there is darkness now in your mind?"

"Yeah, like all of it. I feel like I'm attached to reality by the most fragile transparent thread."

Steve rubbed his forehead and imagined the emptiness he had seen in space and the bright circle of light that was the Earth. Steve paced around the room in anticipation of what more gut wrenching details Bucky was about to reveal.

"If my mind wanders into the dark areas, which it frequently does, I just look at Steve. If he's not around, I pictured him in my mind and I feel better. He's a pretty bright character. Don't you think?"

"So you've found that shinning a light on the darkness dissolves it somewhat?"

"I wouldn't take it that far– it could, I guess, but what are you getting at?"

Steve relaxed and glanced at Bruce. 

Bruce continued, "There is another way, so they say, that may be worth a try. You could let the dark out of your mouth via words. Once out in the light it may dissolve or decrease."

"Really? I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy."

"He has big shoulders and I can take it." Bruce said.

"Are you leading me into a trap?"

"If you feel trapped, there he is, look at him."

"I'm cornered." Bucky put his fist over his mouth like he was about to suck something out of his thumb.

Bruce registered the meaning of Bucky's body language. Nothing more would be coming out of his mouth tonight. He had shut down. Bruce felt this was an opportunity he did not want to miss so he tried a more indirect approach.

"What was the worst part of the movie for you?"  
Bucky animated instantly.

"Oh, Sinatra was almost his friend. He could have so easily been his friend. He could have stood up for the poor slob but he chose to use him for his own purposes like everyone else. If that poor sod had thought he had one friend he wouldn't have taken that way out."

"Do you think that could happen here? You could be used?"

"That is my dominant thought, being recaptured. It's constantly in my mind. I am on guard every moment."

"No, used by us?"

"Used by you? Well, I can't say that hasn't entered my mind. The temptation would be great. Wouldn't it? I'm alerted to that, but I'm not so user-friendly anymore because I have a friend. Maybe a few friends. Does that answer your question?"

"Yes it does. Thank you. It sure does."

"And Doc? What you suggested, you know, talking. I'll think about it. Steve, you need to add music to the schedule. We could use some music in here."

Steve, anxious to do anything physical, anything to get off the emotional roller coaster, entered music into his tablet.  
"Done, first thing you have to hear is the Beatles . . . Let's go out for some fresh air before we call it a day." Bucky jumped to the door.

"Great." Bruce said. "Clear night, 56° full moon."

So ended the first 24 hours at Solaris without Tony Stark.

****

By the third day they had settled into a routine. Morning arrived when Barnes woke naturally. They ate when Bucky was hungry. They talked when Barnes started a conversation and were silent when he was contemplative. They rested when he was tired and they called it a day when he fell asleep at night. 

Banner conducted Bucky's tests first thing each morning, leaving Steve free for the four or five hours he needed to do a thorough work out. When Bruce went to bed, usually around noon, Steve picked up Buck, and drove him through his paces for another four or five hours. When both men were exhausted they joined Bruce, who was just waking up around 9 PM for a movie, food and drinks. After, Bruce watch Bucky sleep all night on the Polysomnograph Sleep Lab monitor. And what a horror show it was.

Barnes did not joke, or exaggerate when he said his victims visited him each night. Bruce declared Barnes a seven on the Richter scale of disturbed sleep with at least one, wake up in a cold sweat, screaming nightmare per night. He experienced intermittent sleep terrors, not for the for five minutes like on Dandalo's ship, but for two, or three minutes of bizarre physical behavior he did not remember the next day. He stayed in REM sleep only a few seconds before some disturbance. 

He frequently went into REM sleep during the day. He nodded off between lifts in the weight room, and blanked out, stared off into space, and experienced visual hallucinations, essentially dreaming while awake. Dr. Banner's assessment; Bucky Barnes was sleep deprived. Bruce did not know how he function as well as he did. Dr. Bruce Banner's first order of business was to correct this. Sleep is the foundation of all functional human behavior and nothing was going to improve for Barnes until he could sleep.

There was tension around Solaris. Things were clearly not normal and they would not be normal until Tony returned. Being on an alien spacecraft was not like flying off to New York for a speaking engagement. Buck had not called him again.

"His judgement is better than mine. I'm sure he's fine." Were Bucky's statements, during waking hours, that is.

****

Steve was up half the third night after Bruce woke him unable to control the Cyborg Super Soldier he had helped create. When Steve arrived, the sensory room was messed up, the whole place turned upside down. Destroyed equipment at every corner. A 400 pound lime green hulk was on the floor in the corner of the room with Barnes fast asleep in his arms. Bucky had a night terror and called out to Tony saying, 'they will hurt you man, Tony don't cut it. Give me your hand', he pushed through the room with the shoulder of his cyborg arm and turned over furniture. He reached for a Tony that wasn't there. Barnes landed in the corner of the room yelling, 'I've seen enough, no more, Tony don't look at that. DON'T TOUCH IT." Then he cried, begged for mercy, and fell asleep. Banner shrugged and they settled Barnes. 

"Where did you get this baby Hulk?" Steve asked.

"He just happened. I call him Petite Hulk, the helper, the saver, the rescuer. He's come out a few times to do good." Bruce Banner explained as well as he could explain something he did not really understand himself.

Bruce took the opportunity to dump some complaints on Steve. Seems Bruce had argued forcefully to arm Barnes only after the brain work was completed. Tony insisted Buck get the arm as soon as possible, giving weak excuses, and poor evidence on which he based his opinion. They argued right up to the point of blows. Banner, baffled to this day by Tony's position.

When Bucky gave up trying to sleep on the fourth morning he begged for the drug Tranquility. Banner wanted to give it to him after the second night. It was decided Tony would have to get by with three days of baseline data on Buck's sleep pattern. Bruce would start the BARF wave treatment that night. If Bucky did not show great improvement by 2 AM, Bruce would give him the drug. 

****

As if he knew something was up, Tony materialized late in the afternoon of the fourth day.

As soon as Tony arrived at Solaris he asked to see Dr. Banner alone in one of the exam rooms.

"I need you to take a look at something."

Tony activated the privacy glass to black, shut the door and took off his shirt and slacks. He left on his cobalt blue Under Armour boxers. Tony had little sharp teeth bite marks all over.

"What the hell?" Bruce yelled. "Are these bites? How did you get these?"

"Oh, playing with Dandalo."

"WHAT?" Banners face was red with anger. "You let an Alien bite you?"

"No! No! Of course not. I bit back."

"Have you lost your mind?" Shocked, Banner donned an isolation gown, gloves and mask. "You are in quarantine."

"This is my building!" Tony jumped from the exam table.

"Shut up and sit down, NOW. Until I get cultures and analysis you are in quarantine. You could expose the whole planet to an alien virus. Some of these look infected." Banner collected the cultures. "What were you thinking, man?"

"Well . . . It was a cultural exchange."

"Looks more like an exchange of body fluids to me."

"Now. You don't know that." Tony snapped back and jumped up.

"Oh My God! Now I do! Tony . . . Tony this isn't a press conference. I'm your doctor, man. You've got to come clean with me."

"Alright. Alright." Tony gave up. He shut up and he sat down.

Bruce rubbed the culture swab on the bites that looked infected first. Tony winced. Banner continued his work.

"This is the most irresponsible thing you have ever done." Banner finished with the cultures, and looked his patient over.

"Oh, No! What's under that Under Armour?" Bruce pointed to Tony's boxers.

Tony scrunched up his face and shrugged. 

Banner threw his hands up and stomped around the room. He yelled: "TAKE 'EM OFF! TAKE THEM OFF."

THREE MONTHS ASSESSMENT  
OF THE WINTER SOLDIER PROJECT

Tony had no alien virus. The bacteria found in the bites was easily killed by good old penicillin. Tony received his data dump from Dandalo and built the Time Machine in six weeks. Dandalo visited at three weeks with a team of experts and again at the end to assist Tony. The machine, the time portal, sat by the back door to the beach. Tony fabricated a cover story, just in case, he said. The time machine was really a fancy high tech shower. When you came off the beach and stood in it spread eagle, naked, it would remove every bit of sand from even the tiniest crevice of your body in 37 seconds flat.

Bucky got his wish to have the words read over him. He reacted with anticipatory anxiety only. It was true. He was free. He breathed a sigh of relief; a relief he was convinced he would never experience. This exercise was significant to the scientists when it was discovered that Barnes had never heard the word freight car. This marked the exact moment his memory loss started. A short celebration ensued.

James Barnes made good progress in other areas. Steve set high goals for Barnes physically. He knew him. He saw him in top physical condition and what he picked up out of the deep-freeze was a shadow of his former self. Steve was obsessed with his own muscle mass and this carried over to Bucky's body. Every physical exercise, every activity, every food choice was designed for one purpose only: to build muscle mass. Barnes gained a significant amount of muscle bulk. He had a superb muscle definition of his calves and thighs, his glutes, his abs, his pecs, his arms, his lats – everything. His stamina improved. He was limber and had a grace of movement that Steve admired. Buck's movements had a buoyancy that seem to defy gravity.

Steve acknowledge selfish reasons for all this fuss – for pushing Barnes so hard. Bucky was one of the few people on earth that could possibly keep up with Steve. Steve wanted someone to play with, on his level. One hour of basketball with Bucky was a lot more fun than jumping rope alone for an hour. And frankly, Steve loved the guy. With Barnes there was always an element of danger. There always had been. He always had an edge, an unpredictability, even more, after all the mess. With Bucky it was not just one hour of basketball, it was one hour of roughneck basketball. It was not just soccer, it was soccer until someone bled. Now that Bucky was near full capacity he pushed back; something he had never been able to do with Steve and Buck loved to push back. 

Steve told himself, you box with this guy you better be prepared to be so alert that you cannot sleep the night before because this guy will kill you in the ring. He may look all cute and smooth and smiley but he is a killer. Wrestling? Sure they tried wrestling, but Bucky with his cyborg arm out of the sling and with his skill, Steve was pinned in a matter of seconds. They didn't even try anymore. Steve made himself a new rule of thumb: NEVER WRESTLE WITH A CYBORG, YOU WILL BE KILLED. In unarmed combat, in a hand to hand combat situation, Steve would match his creation with anyone in the world.

Along with the physical, Barnes showed improved emotional stamina as well. He fully recovered his sense of humor. He could still be impulsive and overreact to things. He was a bit easily frustrated and when frustrated he could spin out emotionally, but not as often. He was labile in his mood, but not angry, never angry. He was full of strong emotions and had poor ability to regulate them. He covered all of this with a pleasant pliability. He thought very little of himself and was plagued with pessimism. He felt the whole rehab program was doomed for failure. But none of this took the spring out of his step or the gratitude out of his smile.

Of course, all Solaris was set up to not frustrate Bucky. Right or wrong, everything was carefully architected by Tony for smooth running. Even the rehabilitation room Tony designed and created for Barnes reeked of homeostasis. 

The room was located on the south wall, three stories up from the beach, overlooking the inlet. Tony picked the inlet side of Solaris for calmness and for the many unique animals, birds, insects and flora that cohabitated the estuary. The room had a large southern facing balcony from which both the rising and setting sun could be seen each day just by moving a chair. The balcony was decorated with indigenous plants, grasses, and flowering plants harvested directly from the inlet. A few bird-feeders and a hummingbird feeder were decorative accents. Tony brought this nature feast into the room itself. He crafted an exotic curved room divider fish tank floor to ceiling. The room held so many potted plants, an earthy smell covered the otherwise new car smell of the room. Nature heals, everyone knows, nature heals.

Again, Tony's newly patented glass stood for the whole south wall including the bath/spa with glass French door in the middle of the room that led to the balcony. The glass projected the same cliffside hologram found in the rest of Solaris. The domed ceiling projected a blue sky, a cloudy sky, a starry night and many different sunsets. The lighting system glowed blue or lavender or purple. The west wall also projected forests, waterfalls or desert landscapes. Each sky and earth motif had it's own soundscape program including thunderstorms. 

The bed sat on a one step up platform, had Egyptian cotton sheets and linens and a headboard with shelves and soft lighting. The bathroom/spa on the east wall was ultramodern. Everything in the room was high tech including the fish tank, except the desk, dresser, tables, chairs, and sofa. In this area Tony went vintage from the 1930s and 1940s. All the furniture in the room, Barnes could have had in his own home growing up. The dressers and closets were stacked full of everything Under Armour made, including watches, hats, shoes and bags. Tony went so far as to pick only certain colors for Bucky's clothing. He picked blues, grays, white and light yellow, some orange. He avoiding black, and definitely, no brown.

The colors of the room were earth tones, blues and greens, yellow and oranges, with very little brown and certainly no Russian red or Nazi red and black.

The signs that were posted every few feet on all Solaris hallways, and in all Solaris rooms that read, THESE PREMICES ARE UNDER VIDEO AND AUDIO SURVEILLANCE, were missing from this room. Tony made a distinct effort to inform Barnes on multiple occasions, that there was no recording equipment in his room, and never would be. Still, Barnes read the signs every time he passed one in the hall, every time he entered a room he read the sign. He looked almost every day and search his therapeutic room in every corner for a camera or audio recording equipment. Yes, it was a process, one that inched upward. 

The cybernetic arm was Steve's crowning glory. Not yet at full strength, the arm was awe inspiring. Every week the arm became more fluid and graceful in its movements, more like the human arm. As Bucky gained muscle mass the amazing human hologram feature of the cybernetic arm also looked more muscular and retained the appearance of his human arm even with the changes. Bucky held his breath that someday he might be mistaken for normal. 

Cap was positive here was no way an unenhanced person could ever wield such an arm. A normal humans body tissues would be ripped to shreds. Buck, with the cybernetic arm, was immensely powerful. 

Tony had been right, Bucky felt no pain around the arm. There were no scars around the metal, and no scars remained of the surgery to remove the alien tracking device. Dr. Banner was hot on the trail to find out why, and he delved deep into the study of the ILLUMINE. 

There was, and always would be a need for Barnes to practice fine motor skills for the cybernetic arm. Buck played cards and games or simply used the keyboard instead of voice activating the computer. Tony had a piano. Barnes did not play. He read music, so he thought he could teach himself to play. It sounded awful, but no one cared; it was good exercise. Buck's great achievement at fine motor skills and balance came from ridding a skateboard around Solaris while juggling three balls. He made S shaped figures, or figure eights with the skateboard, and juggled. He did this fascinating balancing act at least two hours a day. No one ever grew tired of watching this amazing feat. Even Tony watched and filmed him.

Even after Banner was done with all Bucky's testing, he'd stop by each day to talk for an hour or two. Some dark things popped out of him, but the talks were future focused. They worked on visualization of achievable relief states, posttraumatic growth, and acceptance coping. They played around with counter conditioning. Bucky said his talks with Banner gave him perspective and a place to grieve, but what really made the most difference was the time spent with the Doctor. This time together created another bright spot in the dark interior landscape of Bucky Barnes and he considered Bruce a trusted friend.

Tony continue to avoid Barnes. Bucky continued to twist himself inside out for approval. Buck laughed at Tony's insults and would hop to it, with each request from Tony or even a hint that Tony needed him for something – just like he was one of Tony's personal robots. Tony showed up for a movie, occasionally. He sat in the back at the tables, usually with two devices going. He would spout some historical fact about whatever was on the screen and drifted away after about 45 minutes. Frequently, Tony sat with Banner at the BARF monitor and watched Buck sleep. Tony disappeared for days or even weeks at a time, flying away without notice.

The BARF machine work magic on Buck's sleep disturbance. After three months he was staying in REM sleep. He received no Tranquility, or any other drugs. There was a dramatic reduction in both nightmares and night terrors. Around the same time Steve noticed that this guy, the one he hung with for months, was the real James Buchanan Barnes. Steve had never been happier in his life than he was at this time of his life.

****

Tony sent a message to Bruce to gather everyone at the BARF machine for an important announcement. Bruce waited at the monitor. He didn't know where the guys were. Tony showed up with five personal robots plus a lot of equipment. 

Banner noticed a change in Tony's fleet of personal robots. They had obviously been upgraded and they looked strangely like Dandalo in a way Bruce could not readily identify. Bruce sat on a yellow desk chair by the monitor board. He could not control the sly smile that crept over his face.

"What? Where's Barnes?" Tony glanced around impatient.

"They didn't respond to my call. They must be out. Probably running the beach to San Francisco and back. What's all this?"

"An upgrade." 

"Upgrade of what?"

"BARF. You'll see."

Dr. Banner frowned at Tony's unscientific response.

"No, really. You won't believe me until you see. So just help me. Hell, it may not even work."

The five robots, Bruce, Tony and Jarvis worked about one hour. Banner identified the object as a sophisticated video monitor, but for what?

Tony talked to Banner as he calibrated. "Would you say Barnes dreams more than the next person?"

"Yes, I have stats to prove that. He has an extremely active and imaginative mind and dreams almost every sleep cycle."

"I need him here. Will you go out and see what you can see?"

Soon Barnes stood next to Tony. He was dressed in Under Armour workout clothing, was wet with perspiration and mist from the ocean. He had sprays of sand all over his clothing, face and hair. 

"Hey, I haven't seen you for six weeks," he said. 

Tony did not look up at Barnes but spoke, "can you do something for me without questions?"

This is exactly the kind of statement Bucky wanted to hear.  
"Sure Tony, anything."

"Go do your normal routine, whatever you do before sleep. Shower, dress in what you sleep in, eat whatever, any little thing that you do, and come back as soon as possible?"

"And bring my Teddy? What's this about?"

"Okay, now, that was two questions."

"Alright I'll go."

Steve arrived in the same shape as Bucky.

"What's all this?"

"You have time to shower." Tony did not look at Steve either.

****

Barnes returned clean. His hair wet from the shower. He was dressed in athlete recovery sleepwear: a grey v-neck long sleeved top, darker grey pajama pants by UA, no shoes, no Teddy. He smelled like soap. Tony glanced at him. Their eyes met. Injected with purpose Bucky scrambled to attention and brushed the hair out of his face. His eyes were wide, bright and glossy. Tony looked at him again and even lingered a bit and studied his face. Tony scanned up-and-down. The look on Bucky's face was so anticipatory, so eager to please that Tony thought he looked like a boy, a boy that could use a Teddy. Bucky gave Tony his half smile.

"Have you done whatever you do before sleep?"

"Yeah, I ate turkey. What's up?"

"Do you think you can go in the sensory room and fall asleep?"

"I don't know. It's the middle of the day – I'll try."

"Good, good, go on then – hustle in," Tony suddenly sensitive to Bucky patted him on the shoulder to hurry him along. 

"Jarvis, dim the lights, all the way down in this area." They dimmed but not enough. "Jarvis, activate all outside window glass on this floor to black." That did the trick. The whole area fell into a soft glow of light from the machinery only.

"Jarvis, 64° in here, please," Bucky stretched out on the gurney with his head on the sensor pad, his brain waves clipped across the monitor board in the other room. "How the hell am I going to put myself to sleep?" 

"Do passive relaxation, count sheep, take deep breaths - "

"Thank you Jarvis," Buck laughed. 

In the army. In the war. In the field. Out there for days upon days with no end in sight, he trained himself to get 40 winks whenever the opportunity presented itself. It was a matter of survival. He shut his eyes, relaxed his body and did the deep breathing Jarvis suggested.

"Can you up the air circulation in here?" 

Jarvis turned on the ceiling fan. Buck felt the air move across his body. He rubbed his forehead softly. He imagined his mother holding him and stroking his hair. He saw her face in his mind's eye. He heard her voice singing to him as she had done so many times to put him to sleep. 'Morning star lights the way, restless dreams - all done, shadows gone, break of day, it's not far, just close by, through an open door, I'm going home, I'm going home, I'm just going home.'

Bruce tapped the monitor screen to highlight Bucky's brain waves.

"Damn. He's asleep."

"Good boy," Tony raised his fist in victory.

"What the hell is all the mystery?" Steve stood with his legs spread and his arms crossed over his chest.

"Oh, sit down." Tony demanded but Steve did not sit down. Tony turned on his new video monitor. The screen lit up with a magenta glow.

"How long before we could possibly see a dream?"

"See a what?" Steve's eyes flashed open.

"Well, let's see, a nap in the middle of the day maybe 20 minutes," Bruce waved his hand around in the air.

"Are you telling me we're going to see Bucky's dream?" Bruce said and Steve took a seat on that, "that's not possible."

The three men sat in silence for about 20 minutes. Bucky's brain waves changed on his EEG.

"I'm seeing brain activity common before a dream," Bruce touched the tip of his pen to the screen. 

The magenta color on the monitor screen faded to gray. The gray formed into patterns, black and white. There was movement in the center of the screen. A film formed in the middle. A pattern that looked like a test pattern to Steve; the static pattern after all the television stations signed off, way, way back in the day. There were swirling shapes in the middle and some thicker areas of light and shadow on the rim, continually changing. The three human minds tried to make sense of nonsense – to make sense of the scramble. Unrecognizable, but an image of more definition, on the edge out of reach of identification, floated on the screen – moved into another form and back again.

"Are we seeing his brain activity? What is this?" Steve asked. No one answered.

Some very bright areas appeared in the darkness, in the darkest area of the screen and morphed into some change, then sparkled into an image. The three brains did not believe their eyes. They focused, blinked, and focused again. Unclear, was this an optical illusion?

Tony backed from the screen and rubbed his eyes.

"Steve, can you recognize that?" 

Steve leaned over the monitor and peered into the center of the image – into the center of the continually changing image.

"Oh my God. Oh my God. It's the river flowing. It's the Mad River."

Tony jumped to attention. "Holy shit. It works. It works."

Steve glanced at Bucky who slept and back at the screen.

"It's the river." Along the side of the river, in a form that floated and changed by the flowing water in the river another brighter image formed. Shimmered around. Very bright in the center. They squinted. A small child by the river, out by the river. The image floated, the head looked and moved, the eyes sparkled with life: with soul. Tony grabbed Steve with both arms.

"Is that you? Is that you as a child?"  
Steve shook his head, yes. A shiver raced through his body. The image was so alive this could not be believed.

"I need a bigger monitor," Tony stomped around the room.

The image on the screen did not change, it morphed, it reconstructed into a swirly mass, into another image of a face with eyes that sparkled and danced, eyes that were alive, with hair that moved and swirled. The image was hypnotic.

"God in heaven. It's his mother. Tony, it's his mother. What is this?"

The image changed again. Bucky's brain waves changed. A small inarticulate vocalization was heard from the sensor room, a sob, a whine, or a moan. The image on the screen darkened and swirled. An image took form, a tree lined road, a figure in a uniform . . . 

"Tony?" Steve shook Tony's shoulder as if to wake him from the trance, from the unbelievable dimension they were pulled into.

"Wake him," Tony barked.

Steve let all the air out of his lungs in a rush. His relief was premature for Tony mumbled, "If he sleeps too long now, he won't sleep tonight." Steve shrugged that off and went in to shake Buck awake.

"BUCK – wake up." Buck woke with a start. This little scene happened many times in the war. Bucky pushed up on one elbow. Tony was at the foot of the gurney.

"Do you remember what you just dreamed?" Tony said sweetly to Bucky.

"No, I . . . " a smile crossed Bucky's face and he glanced at Steve, "the river." 

Tony flipped his head back, joyous at the confirmation. He stomped around, raised his fist and jerked it down and mimed the word 'yes'.

"I dreamed of the river and you," Bucky glance again at Steve. "You were so scrawny," Buck laughed. 

"Do you remember anymore?"

"I . . . " he did remember something else. "Uh . . . my mother singing to me."

"Anything else?"

"I don't recall – I don't think so – no – that's all I remember."

"Sure?"

"Nothing."

"Last chance. Are you sure?"

"No, Tony I'm never sure." Bucky slid off the gurney, his bare feet hit the cold tile floor. He let Tony get a good long look at his eyes when they were the most intense. Not until after the stare down was Tony sure that Buck was hiding something.

The four men congregated in front of the video screen that buzzed with static.

"Jarvis, play back James Barnes dream video one," Tony added bragging, "the first image of a dream seen by man in the history of mankind."

The dream sequence played. Floored, Buck watched in amazement. He gasped when he saw his mother on the screen, her eyes a blaze, her mouth moved, her hair shimmered, her eyes danced on the screen like a spirit, her spirit. Buck took the controls manually and played it again and again, he gasped each time. After about the 10th time Steve intervened.

"Buck, come on, that's enough." Steve pulled Bucky's hand away from the controls and Bucky held Steve's arm.

"She was left alone, Steve. She was left alone with my three sisters. First my dad, then me. I didn't come home. I left and I never came home. She lived with that. She lived with me being missing in action all those years. She died never knowing what happened to me." Buck looked up at Steve.

"Come on man. Come away from there. Come away for just a while."

"Yeah, yeah," Buck said, but he did not move.

Steve shook his head doubting everything.  
"I'm sure no scientist, but we need to sit down and have a serious discussion about this."

"For what purpose?" Tony snapped.

"To learn how you did this and what do you think it can be used for? Tony, why did you do this?"

"Because I could."

"I would've helped you," Bruce stood in front of Tony to get his attention.

"You've been working night shift full-time for four months. It was a lark. Alright. You know what? Let's do it. Let's sit down and talk. I'll explain."

LATER THAT DAY

In the small meeting room Tony and Bruce worked on devices. Steve entered, and Tony shut his laptop.

"Where's Barnes?"

"He said he had something to look up before the meeting."

"Go get 'em – I'm busy."

"I have a few questions first. He told me he signed a release of information with all of our names and any other Avenger with a needed to know, for his treatment. And that he signed a consent to be monitored and recorded audio and video 24–7 correct?"

Tony nodded affirmative.

"Did he sign to have his dreams public knowledge? That technology was not even created."

"And you said you didn't make it to law school?"

"Dammit, Tony. I'm trying to understand this craziness. I am, well, Buck and I we are essentially time travelers from another century – walk me through this, this, dream catcher," Steve eyes were large, liquid, and convincing.

"Great name, thanks . . . Look, Barnes has been here 4 months doing what he's told. So what's the big deal?"

"Come on, Tony. Beyond being brainwashed. Beyond being programmed. You know he's been 'conditioned' to do what he's told. You can't take advantage of that. If you haven't noticed he can't say no. He can't say no especially to you. So I'm saying NO."

"You're speaking for him?"

"Until he has the functioning mind of his own – YES. What's your goal? What's the purpose of all this?"

"I don't know the purpose. I stumbled upon it really, when building the time portal. The time machine was not built by Dandalo's people. They got it in a trade, so I'm adapting from an adaption. There was a configuration used in the Matter Excelerator I'd never seen before and, well, the big white light went on, you know, the big light bulb - you get the picture. I goofed around with the idea, and the idea worked."

"Could someone else be the guinea pig?"

"I don't want to bump Barnes off his treatment. He's the logical person. He has the electrodes implanted. He's made to order."  
Tony opened his laptop.

"That's what I'm afraid of. It's just added stress on him in a program whose mission statement is to de-stress. Hell, Tony, everything I do is to de-stress the guy and now you're adding this?" Steve glanced around the room and thought about it. "Well, you could ask him what he thinks. Were all watching his mother, for God's sake, and he didn't know it. It seems so unnatural, such an invasion of privacy. What if he dreamed about . . ." Steve cut himself off.

"What if what?" Tony closed the laptop. Steve had his attention now.

"I don't know. Just something personal."

Tony was on that like a piranha, on any hint or suspicion that Barnes could be withholding information or have collaborated with the enemy or was complicit in any of the missions, even though, Tony had reams of data, one year's work of data, that said otherwise. Why was Steve making such a big deal about this? 

"What's he hiding?" Tony did not move and gave Steve a prolonged stare.

"I don't know that he's hiding anything." Steve stammered.

"Bruce, you talk to him a lot." Tony did not look away from Steve.

"Yes. He seems guarded at times. He has secrets. Definitely."

"Steve. Don't do this. Don't . . . not again. Tell me what you know."

"Alright. I feel he's evasive on occasion. Like he's hiding something. Yes."

"What is it?" Tony held his breath.

"I really don't know and that's the God's honest truth. It could be a lot of things. A lot of things he doesn't want to talk about. Whatever it is . . . it's something big."

James Barnes was always forthcoming and open with great recall of his dreams, giving detailed accounts of his dreams yet he does not remember a dream that causes him to wake up in a cold sweat.

"The least you can do is ask him." Steve said.

Buck appeared out of thin air in the door way.

Steve jumped and said, "how do you do that?"

"I don't know. Ask me what?"

Tony rolled his eyes and spoke to Barnes in the sweetest voice he had. "I'd like to record your dreams for a period of a time with the purpose of collecting data on the Dreamcatcher. Thank Steve for that name. This collection will not interfere with your treatment of the last few disturbing dreams to continue to have. You could sign a rider to your contract, agreed?"

"I'd like to do this."

"Will you sign a rider?"

"Will I have access to my dreams?"

"Absolutely, of course."

"I'll sign. That image of my mother was clearer on the screen then when I dreamed it. This has knocked my socks off. I'm fascinated. I want to see more."

"Steve? Satisfied?"

"Tony? Satisfied?"

Tony definitely wanted to see more. He wanted to see every single dream Barnes had.

"Now, Tony," Buck said, "I can call in sick tonight and you can see what the machine is like first hand. We can watch YOUR dreams. Isn't that what you mad scientists do? Experiment on yourselves."

Tony laughed out loud and said to Steve, "I liked your friend better when he didn't have a sense of humor."

"Doesn't feel comfortable does it?" Steve said.

Tony was uncomfortable. There was no way in hell he would make his dreams public. Tony and Bruce headed down the hall.

Steve blocked Tony's exit. "You won't do it, will you? This is voyeurism at its most ghoulish and you know it."

"Why don't you two smart asses go run to Mexico." Tony flipped his body around, but said to Barnes, "Same time tonight?"

"Sure Tony."

The first night the three men watched the dreams they were so excited no one slept. The second night the three men had headaches, but could not take their eyes off the field of dreams. 

****

The third night Tony, Steve and Bruce sat again at the monitor and watched the dance of light and shadow. The swirling gray condensed to black and white with sharp edges. They anticipated an image, an insignia or emblem – a swastika on a uniform.

"What is it?" Tony asked.

"It's a Nazi uniform," Steve answered.

Buck called out in his sleep.

"Do you know what this is?" asked Tony.

"Not yet, no, could be a lot of things."

Again, Barnes called out in his sleep, he moaned and mumbled some words.

"Is he awake?" Tony asked. Bruce checked the monitor.

"No, he's asleep. He's talking in his sleep."

"What's he saying?" Tony asked.

"I don't know he's speaking in another language," Bruce said.

"It's German," Steve said.

"Jarvis translate."

Jarvis translated, "'I work in the lush green', undistinguishable, undistinguishable, 'I take a yellow Rose', undistinguishable."

"It's his soliloquy, stop him. Tony, stop him. Bruce wake him up he's dreaming about the prisoners."

Tony and Banner did not move.

Jarvis translated, "'I play ball with my son on the front yard'."

"Don't wake him. Let's just neutralize the dream." Tony said.

Jarvis translated, "'and her hair falls across my face'."

"No, I've got to stop him." Steve rushed the door. 

Tony and Bruce held each of Steve's arms with all their unaided force. Steve shook them off like a bear shakes off flies. They fell to the ground. 

"Ouch!" Tony said as he hit.

"Oh shit." Bruce said as he landed and skidded across the floor. 

Steve did not turn around or look at the two friends he knocked down.

"Don't wake him! We can neutralize it! He'll never have it again!" Bruce yelled from the floor.

"I can't let him shoot them." Steve shook Buck awake.

On the fourth night Steve Rogers did not show up to watch the dreams. Banner and Stark were transfixed on the screen of dreams. Disoriented by the mass of light and dark that swirled before an image formed, the men could not evert their gaze, eye pain, headaches and even nausea did not stop them, the reward was so great when an image did appear. The shimmering eyes and shining faces of the spirit world dominated their waking hours. In sleep they dreamed of his dreams, a look into the unconscious. It would take many scientists, from many nations, many decades to grasp the implications of what Tony Stark stumbled upon in his laboratory at Solaris, a lab that somehow, now, seemed inadequate to the task at hand.

On the seventh night of dreamcatching Banner sat alone at the monitor with his arms crossed over his chest, his feet on the desk, he watched Barnes sleep. It was too early for dreams. Banner nodded off.

****

Natalia Romanova, the Back Widow in all her regalia stood behind him. Banner twisted in his chair, his eyes blink open when he saw her shadow. He jerked his body and involuntarily hit the monitor board with his arm and flipped open the intercom into the BARF room where Buck slept.

"How did - Tony didn't notify - " Bruce stopped when he realized by Natalia's expression that Tony had no idea she was in the building. "Jesus, you scared the shit out of me."

Nat shrugged.  
"I hear you have physical possession of the soldier."

Bruce laughed, "yeah, we have custody the of the body."

"And that you have successfully debugged him?"

"I am happy to say that is true as well."

"What's all this?"

"His brain waves."

"He's here – NOW?"

"Yeah, he's in there," Bruce pointed to the dark adjacent room.

"Can I look in?" Nat's footing stumbled.

"He signed for all Avengers to have full access, so yeah, go ahead."

Natalia entered the dark sensor room. The BARF machine loomed like an entity, consumed the whole back wall. Light and shadow bounced around the room from machine activity. Barnes laid on the gurney. His head rested on an odd wedge shaped pillow with a mesh pattern. Dressed in white cotton, he slept. Her body stood still as she looked at him but her mind raced. She walked past his bare feet, one stacked upon the other. She recognized them. A memory like a taste. Her hands reached out to touch his feet. She stopped herself, but her hands hovered over them. Her gaze and her hands wandered up his calves, his knees, and the thighs she knew so well. Her hands reach out but did not touch. Her hand passed over the curve of his hip, his waist, his chest. Air rushed into her and rushed out. 

"Oh," she murmured, but she did not mean to make a sound. She saw his chest rise and fall calmly, gracefully with each breath. He leaned toward his metal arm that stretched over the gurney. The metal fingers closed tight in a fist. His human arm circled over his head and ended with his hand by his cheek. His face was flushed even though the room was cool. She felt his body heat rising like a furnace as she hovered her hands an inch from his face. She leaned in close to him and felt his breath on her hands. His face was unchanged: his smooth alabaster skin, his pink, pink lips. With her face an inch from his, her desire spread its wings. Her mind raced. In her mind she begged, in her dreams, in her longing, she begged for the dark heavy lashes to open. 'Let me see you, let me see your eyes.' She screamed in her mind. His lips parted. He jerked his foot. With a twitch of his face, she jumped. His human arm fell across his chest.

She touched his shoulder and ran her hand down his metal arm. She felt the ridges and shapes of the cold metal; the only part of him she could touch. At the hand she opened the fingers, one by one, and smoothed his hand out over the sheet. She backed to the door of the room. She stared at the machine behind him. To think he could be cured. To think he could be restored. To think he could remember her. Again, she screamed in her mind, 'open your eyes and remember me'. She backed into Bruce at the panel. He noted her expression and body language. She did not try to hide. 

"Do you know him?" 

She ignored the question.

"What's this?" She asked as she touched the dream catcher monitor that glowed magenta and purple. 

"This is Tony's latest upgrade. A video image of the dreams."

"WHAT?"

"In all seriousness."

"Oh Tony," she said, "what's this on the screen now?"

Banner explained the various brain waves and vital signs of the Poysomnograph monitor and the static on the dream catcher's screen.

"He simply is not dreaming at this time. We identify the dream. Prior to the video, of course, we woke him to ID the dream. Once a dream is identified as a menace, we neutralized it with BARF waves. Enough times and the nightmare is gone."

"And that works?"

"Yes. There are certain patterns the brain makes in reoccurring dreams. The BARF waves disrupt this. He's gone from wake up in a cold sweat nightmare each sleep cycle to one remaining nightmare that we have not seen yet. We think this is the core dream. He can't remember but we'll get it."

"Why is he having these dreams?"

"Depends on who you talk to: PTSD, leaks from his brainwashing, psychic self punishment for his crimes - you name it."

Natalia's voice softened. She backed from Bruce a step. "Does he have any good dreams? Like pleasant memories? Like dreams about a girl?"

"Actually, yes, a girl he can't identify. He said they erased her. We haven't had a clear image. Jarvis? Play the dream titled the girl. Number one will do."

Three clicks were heard, like a microphone been tapped. Banner's voice was heard on the audio playback:

'Are you awake'?  
'Ah. . .' Bucky said in a sleepy voice.  
'You were dreaming. What were you dreaming? Do you remember'?  
'It was her. The one. The one I love. I love her', in a whisper . . . 'I love her'.  
'Okay, got it, you can go back to sleep', and the mic clicked off.

"Jarvis? How many dreams titled 'the girl'?"

"147."

Nat was silent – a long silence. Bruce glanced at her. Her eyes were filled with tears.

"Oh my God Natalia. It's him? He's the one?" Bruce felt shock then sorrow. This guy was marred. He was spoiled. He was damaged goods. A moment later it made sense, all the mystery about her, for she was damaged too. "This could be the girl dream now as we speak."

There was nothing from the image on the screen that was identifiable except Nat recognized the pattern of her braid. The braid her younger self wore down her back. Natalia's tears brimmed over.

"I've got this." Nat entered the sensory room again. Her eyes filled again. She could barely see him. Warm and peaceful; he dreamed of the girl he loves. Her throat and neck spasmed as she held back an outburst of emotion but she did not hesitate. She laid beside him, close to him. She broke the barrier between them and touched his skin. She laid her head on his metal arm. She felt his heartbeat. Still in the dream, his human arm pulled her close to him. She touched his neck. She left her hands on him, gently pressing the soft skin by his jaw and behind his ears. She gazed into his sleeping face. "Still fighting?" She whispered at the sight of a fresh cut on his lip. He nuzzled his face into her hand, content with his dream lover. 

He opened his eyes. His body tensed. She held him firmly and whispered in Russian, "Soldier, Soldier." He removed her hands. He pushed her away to focus on her. He scanned her in disbelief: her hair, her eyes, her hands he held, her mouth, her scent. It was her scent. He took a deep breath of her.

"You're here?" he said in Russian.

"I'm here to stay," she answered in the same.

Banner stayed at the monitor a long time. He could see Barnes was awake by the silent waves of the EEG in front of him. So, he sat a while longer. He was tired, the kind of tired that wears a headache right between the eyes. He glanced in. Bucky laid on his side with Natalia beside him, they looked into each other's eyes. Bruce walk to the monitor and shut the whole thing down. He walked down the hall towards his room. A bright light flooded the space behind him. He did not look back. They had turned on the light for some reason, he surmised. He walked on to the tall window in the hall that framed the breaking dawn? At 3 AM? Too tired to follow that train of thought, he went to bed and slept.

****

In Bucky's recovery room they stood in front of the panoramic glass that overlooked the still waters of the inlet side of Solaris. She tried to kiss him and bumped the cut on his lip.

"OUCH!" He said with a smile, jerked away from her and touched his lip. He slid his metal arm up her back to her neck and snagged her hair. 

"OUCH!" she snapped her head back, removed her hair from the metal fingers and laughed. They laughed together as they realized they were each in love with a pretty dangerous character.

He guided her to a seat and knelt in front of her. He took a tissue to brush away the make up from her face. She felt emotions rise in her. Emotion at this act. She knew exactly what he was doing. He was trying to find the girl he dreamed about. He wanted to see the girl he knew. With each brush of makeup removed – he removed her layers. With each brush a lie left her, her duplicity, the false fronts she presented to the world - 20 years of covering. All her covers were brushed away. He wiped the makeup from her eyes and her cheeks. Layer after layer came off. Layer after layer of deceit so thick she questioned who she really was. Did the girl who shut down so many years ago even exist? She was stripped. He wiped the lipstick off her lips. She felt exposed. She felt vulnerable. The emotional cascade continued. All at once she gasped for air. She felt free. She felt clean. She felt liberated. She experienced her authentic self. 

When he saw the change he smiled. They stood by the dresser. He stepped back from her. He took off his shirt and laid it at her feet. His face was soft, his mouth slacked open, his eyes wide and they never left hers. He removed not only his clothing, but all the elaborate costumes he had ever worn. The person he was to the world. In mime, he took off the collar of obedience and laid it at her feet, the harness he wore came off. Each layer he removed, the ridiculous trappings of the roles he had played. The ornate uniforms. The tapestries that dazzle us all into accepting the unacceptable horrors of war. The holster. The heavy fabrics of weighted identities. The weapons he wore. The madness of fighting. The guns. The rifles. He threw an imaginary knife into the pile. He removed all his clothing and laid them at her feet. She looked at him – naked. Himself made vulnerable. He breathed deeply through his mouth. 

She kicked the pile of clothing in front of her away like any other garbage in her path. She took a step forward, stopped and looked him over.

"How beautiful you are," she said to him and he was magnificent. 

He glanced away at the idea of it. His gaze fell to his cybernetic arm. He rubbed his human hand over it, and cradled it in his human arm. There it was, the symbol of the damage done, the mindless killer, the monster made, the hideous reminder of the horror that remained within – the thing that can not be taken off and laid at her feet. Slowly, he opened his eyes. 

She took the final step to him and laid her hand on the cold metal wrist of his cyber arm. "Yes, even that."

She stood close to him, right in front of him. 

He felt every muscle in his body come to attention. He felt each hair on his body as if they were electrified. 

She touched her body to his bare chest and held him in her arms. She felt his chest rise and fall. In and out. This is where she wanted to be. She synced her breath with his. Out and in together; they moved like the sea. She felt the warm skin on his back. She shuttered with emotion. She fell onto his chest and kissed it. She held him. She put her ear over his heart and listened to its steady beat. She would sync her heartbeat to his, if she could.

He circled his arms around her warmth. "Oh . . . " he said. He felt the softness of her hair on his bare chest. He held her. He became calm in a new way. This would be enough. She fit on him like a missing puzzle piece. She looked up at him and his world became a blaze. A blaze of red hair and the green eyes of life. He could almost see a long braid down her back. It was her. The way she looked at him. She looked at him like he was a man. He became a man. He became the man she saw. Now, he could kiss her. For he knew that once done, it could never be undone. He would always be kissing her. If not the act of kissing, he would be thinking of kissing her, or hoping for the next kiss, or planning for the next kiss. In his sleep he would dream of the kisses. It would become his life's work. And, so . . . he kissed her. 

No one saw them for five days.

****

Tony sat at the sleep study monitor fiddling with the video screen. The monitor was lit with all flat lines running. A warm glow came from the empty sensor room, waiting for a brain to scan. Bruce sat in a chair at the desk, leaned back and talked with Tony as he flipped a pen around. This was the fifth night in a row they sat like this and waited for Barnes who had been a – no call, no show – all five nights. The hour was late. They were prepared for an empty sixth night when Natalia Romanova showed up. She was dressed in Bucky's casual Under Armour. She wore no makeup. She was relaxed, her face open. 

"Hi guys."

"Well . . . "

Even in the dim light, eyes enlarged and mouths gaped at the huge red mark on both sides of her neck. There was a line of nasty indigo blue bruising down the middle encircled with purple. She touched her neck.

"Oh, he did this – in his sleep," she said in a jovial manner. "You know that dream? The wake up screaming one. The dream you all are so hot to know about? Well, he confessed to me."

"Let's hear it," Tony scooted to the edge of his seat.

"Not you, Tony. You don't need to hear this." 

"Bullshit."

"No, I'm serious. This is why he didn't tell you himself. His judgment is sound – on this one. Just go. I'll tell Banner and we can move on."

"Just tell it."

Natalia's whole demeanor changed. She talked to Banner, but her eyes were fixed on Tony.

"Okay," she started out, "he hears Howard." Nat took a deep breath and glanced at Tony again. She wanted what she was saying to have some time to sink in. She let her breath out slowly: an obvious stall tactic.

"He hears Howard calling him," she paused and glanced at Tony again. He was a rock. "You know, that video you saw? Zemo's video, Tony? Well, this dream is like the audio portion." Tony was unmoved.

"Okay," she continued, "he hears Howard calling his name," Natalie went on.

"He hears Howard calling him by name . . . Sergeant Barnes?" she paused again and opened her mouth to continue. When the full meaning of what was to come registered fully with Tony yielded.

"STOP," Tony said, "uncle, or whatever. Okay, you're right. I don't need to hear this. You whisper to Bruce your quiet whisper, this room has like 50 microphones. And then you get his ass down here. I don't want that shit on the earth. I'm going to exterminate that dream tonight." Tony exited the area.

With each step Natalia took towards Bruce, the bruise on her neck looked worse and worse. When her lips got to Banner's ear, he saw green. She whispered directly into his ear with her hands cupped on each side of her face like in grade school. Banner shook his head. He moaned.

"Okay, that's enough." 

As she pulled away she noted Banner's interest in her neck. She also made note of the look on his green face.

Tony slid in, assessed the scene and sided with Banner. Natalia did not like the look of sympathy she was getting – like she was a victim.

"What is it with you guys? It's a red mark. You think because I'm someone's girlfriend now, I can't take care of myself? Why don't you ask me what shape he's in? Or, or, just ask him to show you guys his taser burns," a sly smile crossed her lips.

"You tasered him?" A look of joyous glee spread over Tony's face. "You tasered him?" Tony laughed loud and long.

"Yeah, I had to practically torture him to get that damn dream out of him. He's not feeling too well." Nat stood with her feet wide apart and her arms crossed over her chest.

Everyone in the room laughed, even Nat.

"Still, he will be sleeping here until I release him as cured," Dr. Banner said.

"That's an absolute necessity," Tony chimed in.

"You guys are doing it again. Your galloping right over me. Let me make this clear, I won't be separated from him again for any reason, ever. Never again. WE will not be separated. I'll sleep with him in there," Natalia pointed into the sensory room, "I don't care." 

"Banner?"

"Well, she has no electrodes, therefore, the machine won't sense her. Your presence will probably interfere with his REM sleep – too much stimulation," the guys snickered and Nat laughed.

Dr. Banner thought for a moment. "How about an alternative? How about this? JARVIS show me a timeline graph of Barnes' dreams."

"Collating." 

A time sequence graft appeared on the video monitor adding data as they watched.

"Look here, he doesn't dream till 1 or 2am and insignificantly after 6am. Could we have him from 12 midnight til 6am? Could you spare him?"

"That could possibly be arranged."

"Can you get him?" Tony was eager to get the process started.

"He's right outside."

Bucky showed all measure of embarrassment. He counted the reasons: ashamed of the marks on the Nat's neck; ashamed of the dream he continued to have and frankly; embarrassed by the intimacy he enjoys with their colleague. He had broken the number one rule: never get involved with a coworker. He'd get over the last embarrassment soon enough. All he could muster was a glance in Tony's direction.

"He didn't hear it," Nat whispered to Buck and he sighed with relief.

"It was not recorded."

"Natalia. My little Natalia. Natalie, Natalie, thank you." His voice rumbled and whispered into her ear but everyone heard. He kissed her forehead and stroked her hair and she petted around on him.

"Come on, let's zap that dream," commanded Tony.

"Night all," Nat said. Then to Bucky, "see you around 6am, Angel."

"Honey," Bucky kissed her.

Tony rolled his eyes and mumbled under his breath,"this is not gonna work for me."

Buck passed Tony on his way to the sensory room.

"I've had it with you guys, with you and your buddy, trying to protect me. No more withholding information. We are a team. Got it?"

Bucky nodded affirmative.

"Are you tired? Can you sleep?"

"I'm EXHAUSTED," Bucky smiled and glanced in the direction of Nat's exit. "I think I'm dehydrated," Bucky mumbled.

"No doubt." 

As Bucky turned his back and went into the BARF room. Tony made a huge face and a slow-motion silent guffaw and ran to Banner who was in hysterics at Bucky's 'exhaustion', Bucky's 'dehydration'.

Banner glanced at the monitor, grabbed Tony and pointed. With hands flying, at the monitor board he whispered, "Look, look, 30 seconds on the mat and he's sound asleep," another round of pantomimed hysterics followed. 

Tony warmed up his monitor board and they settled in to watch the dreams to come.

SIX MONTH ASSESSMENT OF THE WINTER SOLDIER INVESTIGATION 

Buck's teasing Tony to be the Dreamcatcher subject was, well, uninformed. Tony slept only 2 to 4 hours each night. Since the time portal was up and running Tony spent his considerable free time making what he called Cyberware for the cybernetic arm. Appliances that fit on the arm from the various places the arm detached. Tony stored these gadgets in what he called the accessories closet. Bucky did not have access to the accessories closet. Tony told himself the militarization of the arm was something that Bucky did not need to focus on at this time. Most of these applications he would never use anyway. But, the real reason Tony withheld this information was because he knew Steve would not like it. Besides, Tony could not stop. He was having fun. 

Of course, he developed a gun, and a knife that popped out of the wrist into the hand. Tony added to the arm: a communicator, basically a walkie-talkie, a must have; a wireless Internet adapter; an AC/DC plug-in and wire Internet; a video/audio recorder in the palm, and a scanner that read percent of oxygen in the atmosphere, air temperature, etc. He added a GPS for the arm, and even developed radar and sonar – it went on and on. The thumbnail flipped up to release a drug or toxin in a mist or aerosol. There was an injection finger that could inject a drug into a muscle. Plus a device that blocked metal detection. 

The creme de la creme was the invisibility hologram, equipped with a nasty looking stump, designed to distract the viewer from the echo. This shimmering of the arm could be seen in certain light, or at a certain angle when the invisibility hologram was in use. Tony could not seem to overcome this echo. The invisibility hologram used so much power, the pull of energy from this device even affected the life force energy of the wearer, and the user could feel weak, look pale, become lightheaded, or even pass out. The invisibility hologram was to be used for only short periods of time.

The second three months block at Solaris sped by. The pattern started with Banner, Barnes and Rogers remained. The addition of Natalia Romanova did not change the schedule, but her presence was like shinning a beacon into a man cave.

With Nat around, the men were more concerned about their appearance. They shaved daily. They had more formal meals. They did not, however, watch the language or their use of sexual innuendos, jokes or double entendres. In that respect they treated her like one of the guys. They included her in all activities. Steve was delighted to have an additional playmate that could keep up the pace. Nat had no problem with the most difficult workouts and routinely bested both men in Kendo, Judo and Parkour – especially Parkour where she reigned supreme. To Steve's surprise she had no problem going to the mat with the Cyborg. She knew all his tricks. She relived and rehearsed them in her mind for 20 years. She was shocked at Steve's reluctance to wrestle with Bucky, she said, "what's the matter with you? I do that every night."

The glaring change came to the recreational movie. What was once a nice relaxation became a party. Tony came every night, usually at his place at the table, but as time passed he sat more and more with Banner on the floor in front of the sofa that held Bucky and Nat. It was a night of loud conversation: comedies, rock music, Wii bowling and golf, video games, dancing, and laughter. Most importantly laughter. Natalia's biting wit could only be matched by Tony's. She was challenging, in their faces, and they loved every minute of it. 

Dr. Xhosa came for a visit. She had a conference scheduled in the states and she wanted to examine Bucky for her files. She had her own bedroom with the dresser full of Under Armour, but she stayed with Steve. Being a triathlete and a highly respected specialist, she fit right in with doctors and crew. She stayed a week. She had the time of her life. No one wanted her to leave. She said she be back.

The only dark cloud stayed between Tony and Bruce. Bucky's battery of tests had been complete and they were in the process of going through analysis. It looked to be certain that he had suffered physical damage to his brain that could be seen on MRI, and PET scan. They had hurt him – damaged him in a way he could not recover from – in a way that was permanent. It was hard to face; that Barnes may never be right. Bruce admitted he was not an expert, and he strongly felt they needed to consult one. Tony hyperventilated with anger and doubled down on his resolve to find a way to fix even this. 

Steve had always insisted there was a stable personality and good character somewhere in Bucky. It was found that Barnes had no form of personality disorder or underlying mental illness. He did however, have a whopping case of Complex Posttraumatic Stress Disorder with all the trimmings. Hell, he had the whole banquet. Chronic, invasive, intractable, PTSD; indicative of devastating, catastrophic stress.

Finally, his memory problems and amnesia were glaring from his testing – glaring and also complex. He had amnesia and extracted memories. He also was full of implanted memories. Some used for brainwashing and some used to enhance the completion of his missions. Some of these he wanted to keep: like the extra eight languages he could speak, or the fact he could operate any machine put in front of him, or pilot anything that could fly. He was retrieving his own memories every day. He came to the BARF machine most nights with Natalia. It was found he slept more soundly with her then without her.

Natalia was interviewed by Banner for the six-month Winter Soldier Investigation assessment. She described Barnes as someone who got by a lot on charm, physical good looks and killer social skills. He loved to socialize. But she said there was a real mess going on in his mind. 'Rip a novel into a million pieces and scatter it around the room. The story is all there – but try to find it. It's all in his mind, but where'? She described moments his face would disappear in plain sight, go blank, and he would stare off, as if frozen, like he was on pause, soon to reanimate. She did not interrupt these moments, but waited for him to return to reality on his own. When she asked him about these episodes he said he did not know what they were, a déjà vu, or a memory. He thought it was in real time. The memory was so vivid, he thought what he was experiencing was real. 

Natalie qualified her next observation, she had only been his constant companion for three months, but he looked to her to be accident prone. He could be having a black out, but he would fail to guard himself from harm and fall or get hit hard by her or Steve playing the contact sports and combat exercises they all loved so much. He seemed constantly marked somewhere on his body by violence. 

For the vast majority of a 24 hour period she felt he was in reality, engaged, positive and bright. She reported she had never seen him angry.

No Avenger would have ever believed a relationship between Barnes and Romanova would have worked but somehow it did. She could easily dominate him but she did not. She knew his impairment better than anyone. She had spent a lifetime acquiring skills to assess the psychological state, strength and weaknesses of her opponents and coworkers a like, to manage them to her advantage. 

She refrained from such behavior with him. She did not even try. Her speech, typically laced and loaded with double meanings and cryptic phrasing, suggestions and duplicity was cleaned up for him. She spoke to him in clear concise English or Russian. She checked with him frequently to see if they were on the same page. She knew he had been conditioned for 70 years to do whatever he was told, instantly, without a second thought and no question. So, she simply did not tell him what to do at all. She did not even suggest a course of action to him. She made a conscious effort not to boss him, even though, everything about him screamed out for guidance. She demanded nothing of him and expected nothing. 

They say there is no love like your first love and she was happy every day to simply see him. She felt it was a miracle she had him at all. 

She frequently thought how she agonized over his loss all those years and how she dreamed over and over the sound of his voice, how his skin felt and his scent. She thought how he held her in extreme wrestling holds and how he almost killed her two or three times. Her eyes rarely left him for fear he would disappear again. The strength of these feelings surprised her. It was because he believed her that she told him the truth – because he believed in her that she would not let him down. 

He asked her opinion frequently, knowing full well his perceptions of reality were skewed. He understood the reality in which she was raised – he had lived it too. He saw her behavior as an adaption because he witnessed, first hand, the fear that created her methods of survival. Where others condemned her tactics, he admired her skills. He knew his memory and judgment were faulty, and he looked to her for guidance and example. She understood the modern world on a higher level, a more sophisticated level then he did. He had little experience outside a controlled environment. He did not judge her. He felt her decisions were based on his best interests. If she was wrong, he never suspected an ulterior motive. 

He was happy just to look at her. To touch her was ecstatic to him. She was the sun that warmed his day and the moon that lit his way at night. She was life itself. When he was not with her he felt a pain akin to death, a fear of annihilation that he would not see her again. He was thankful every day: for another glance, another touch, another look into her eyes. They made a soft world together. They created a quiet reality, a sensual existence of acceptance. There was a goodness in the way they treated each other that strengthened their battered opinions of themselves. They loved.

Steve's interview spoke of similar experiences with Barnes.

"There's something wrong with this guy," Steve said. "Since Nat arrived, he seems to want to be hit. I know that sounds sick, but these situations have been creeping up a little too frequently. Frequently and obviously. For instance, just two days ago, we were boxing and it was getting heated, we were scoring points off of each other like mad and he just dropped his guard. The punch was already thrown. I hit him hard and he went down. I could have disabled him or even killed him. I felt horrible. I'm like, man, what are you doing?" Steve said, "these incidents I am describing are happening daily."

Steve also noticed periods when Bucky's mind would wander. Steve said he would poke him, or jar him, or snap his fingers, and say, 'stay with me' and, or, 'come to the party'.

"When I think back and picture in my mind the creature that fought me on the street. The suffering in his crazy eyes. And the paranoid half human I saw in his apartment in Bucharest, compared to how he is now, I'm not complaining. He's happy. I know he's not all there, but hey, he's doing something I've never been able to do – maintain an intimate relationship with a woman. He loves her. They're beautiful together. It's hard to believe he's only been in this program six months. I'm amazed at his strength . . . his speed. He's agile. He's graceful and he's built up some great stamina. Physically, I'd say he's in top shape. Nothing to do there but maintenance."

Bruce and Tony interviewed Barnes. He came to the meeting with a fresh cut on his cheekbone, held together with a steri-strip and a blackeye. Bucky described the blackouts with words like vivid, intense and involuntary. Again, he stated he did not know what they were: memories, dreams, false memories, daydreams – could be any of the above. He did know that these episodes were triggered by something in the environment, something sparked these memories, a smell, a sound, a feeling, and they happened in a flashback, or a dream, or spontaneously. When in them, they were so overwhelming, he felt he would never get over the exquisite pain. 

Sometimes, after a black out, he'd let himself grieve for the life he would have had. He thought about playing around in the woods by the Mad River, or working in the garden, or building a shed in the backyard, or being a volunteer fireman. Maybe he would've been a schoolteacher or something. He let himself feel these feelings, these pains, he breathed into them until they passed. These impasses did afford him an opportunity. They gave him a glimpse into his true personality. Because of this, he knew he would never, his true self would have never done what he did if he had not been pushed into primitive behavior by the horror of war. This knowledge gave him strength. For many years he thought he was nothing but a creature born to kill. 

His response to the flashbacks was to do what Dr. Banner suggested, ride them out and try not to react to the content, however real, or disturbing. He tried, but some were so real he did react and skid out of control emotionally over them at times.

In a 24 hour period he was very happy most of the 24 hours. He said having Natalie made any pain he had to go through worth it. When asked about all his fresh cuts and bruises he said:

"I know it's probably not right to feel this way, but I feel like I don't deserve to feel good . . . like having her is too good. When I feel that good like when I'm with her, I feel it's wrong. I think it's something I'm going through . . . something I have to work out."

At the end of the interview Tony asked without much thought before hand. "Is there anything more you'd want out of life?"

"I'd like a job," Bucky said. "Where I come from you have to work to get happiness." 

Tony stood behind Barnes and mouthed to Bruce the words, 'a job'?

"What kind of job are you talking about?" Tony could not have been more shocked at Bucky's request.

"Oh, something like building a house, or a bridge, or highway. Something out there in the real world." Buck said and Tony was more shocked.

If Barnes had been paid for his services the last 70 years he would be a millionaire many times over. If he were for sale today he could be sold for millions. He has the skills only a few people on earth possess and he wants to be a laborer. Tony was touched. 

"Well, I need help up top. I need a technician to service my solar panels and satellite dishes. I have a team once a week, but I'm having daily power fluctuations. They need maintained daily. I'll be putting in wind turbines in the near future. If you're interested in that kind of thing."

"I am interested. I've read about clean energy. I would love that . . . outside . . . Yes. That's . . . thank you."

"Good. The team is scheduled to come tomorrow. You can go with them. They'll instruct you what to do between their visits." 

Tony knew for certain that 'up top', was about as close to the real world as Bucky Barnes was ever going to get. 

Barnes had wandered from place to place for the two years he was free and on his own. He held jobs as a day laborer. He loved his jobs as a construction worker: a bricklayer, road crew, house painter, etc. He liked each place but left for the same reason. Not to lay a track hard to follow and avoid recapture, but because someone found out about his arm. Usually, he gave himself away by inadvertently displaying super-strength, or someone would see the metal by accident, or hear the noises the arm made. In any case, he would become a freak show. A few times he would have a girl and they would break up, usually over the arm, and she would tell everyone about his arm. He would be stigmatized, bad. People would not forget it. They would not get over it. They would not move on so Buck moved on. Out of frustration he would pack up and try again someplace new.

"You know, Barnes, I'm spending 12 to 16 hours a day in the lab. I really could use a lab assistant. Like four hours a day, if okay with Tony. Starting now," Bruce said.

"Sure," Tony said, "I can share."

"You mean a white lab coat lab assistant?" Bucky said with a big grin on his face.

"Yes."

"Great, I'd love to be of use around here," Buck said then mumbled on his way out the door, "maybe I won't feel so . . . guilty." Buck went about his day.

"Did you guys talk about anything like this in your sessions?"

"No, never . . . I'm as shocked as you are."

****

Bucky worked up top. He worked in the lab. One of his jobs as funky lab assistant and grunt maintenance man was to empty the trash. Not the regular organic garbage. Everything like that was done by Tony's personal robots. But the lab waste, electronic and mechanical waste. This amounted to piles of wires, copper, and other metals, tubing, plastic shapes of all kinds, nuts, bolts, metal pieces of all shapes and colors. Bucky, a child of the Great Depression, horded these beautiful pieces of nothing. He picked the most attractive pieces: a bright green wire; an odd shaped piece of Lucite; a piece of white plastic, opaque and smooth. Spontaneously, in an evening he looked at his treasures, they took shape in his mind, and he arranged them into a shape. He connected them with Tony's plastics gun. A super high-tech glue gun that ejected a hot clear plastic that could stick anything together. His first structure looked like a ball trying to escape a tentacled object. When he was done he started to take it apart for a new idea and Nat grabbed his hand and said:

"STOP. That's beautiful. It's evocative. Can I keep it?"

"I don't know why you'd wanna keep it but it's yours," he said and started another. The second took on a more human form. A human form escaping from, or being consumed by the tentacled object. She stopped Bucky from cannibalizing this piece for parts, and Steve took it to his bedroom to look at it and 'think'.

At this point, Tony commissioned Bucky to make a wall sculpture for his living room. He gave Bucky carte blanche to a room full of junk Tony stored just in case he needed spare parts. This piece had it's base on the wall and grew out from the wall. Again, a figure, human in appearance, escaping a tentacled object, but this time the form led out by a mechanical arm. Tony was so impressed he commissioned Bucky for a large sculpture to stand inside the front gate of Solaris. Tony considered this the ultimate form of recycling.

Steve searched for Bucky in his usual haunts, but he was not to be found. Steve ran into Banner.

"If you looking for Bucky he's up top servicing the panels."

The sun shone bright in the gale force winds. The Pacific ocean's loud lament dominated the soundscape. Steve saw him but whistling or calling for Buck was futile due to the wind. Bucky had an application on his cybernetic arm which consisted of four tentacles that came from his elbow area and operated independently. Bucky used these tentacles as tools. One tentacle hooked directly into the machine. Buck communicated with the solar array in this manner. When Steve first saw this, a creepy shutter of fear stung him, a repulsion over the blank look on Bucky's face. The feeling flashed by Steve and he touched Buck's human arm. Buck disengage from the solar array and his face animated.

"Hey," Bucky said.

"You look like a natural working out here."

Buck did look natural. He wore a blue cotton denim shirt, steel toed workboots in a rust brown, carpenter pants in tawny brown, and a yellow hardhat with the word Solaris in black. Slung around his waist was the same tawny brown colored tool belt filled with tools. His hair was wet around the temples and stuck to his neck. He glistened with perspiration and squinted against the bright sunlight and wind.

"When I was free I supported myself as a day laborer. I did all sorts of things, ship mate, warehouse worker, I drove a forklift."

Steve noticed Bucky's cyber arm laid on the ground with the other tools. Buck detached the tentacled appliance from the array and his arm. He reattached his cybernetic arm at the elbow. He flipped a screwdriver out of his belt, twirled it in the air, and flipped it back into the belt, grabbed another screwdriver, and screwed the maintenance panel back onto the array. Cap was shocked a second time – all the wiring of the Winter Soldier's knife tricks lived intact in Bucky's brain.

"Need any help?"

"You're on. In a gale like this we get the most damage."

"What from?"

"Birdstrikes. You can imagine, Tony has a massive need for power. SOLARIS is totally off grid, even one panel down is an emergency," Buck yelled to be heard over the wind.

"I see. What can I do?"

"When a worker comes to a site like this," Bucky explained in detail. He knew Steve had never labored a day in his life.  
"The first thing you're assigned is the grunt work. Go in the shed, get a hard hat, gloves and a large bag," Bucky grinned big, "walk this whole field, and pick up all the dead birds." 

The wind was fierce – something to battle. Spindrift whipped right up the inlet and blew crazy all around the top of the cliff.

"Great. This will be fun. How many dead birds can there be?" Steve said and Buck smiled again.

Four hours later Steve had the answer. Four hours of picking up dead birds gave him time to think. He wanted to get some insight into why he was so disturbed over these applications and upgrades Tony constantly made for Bucky's cybernetic arm. True, Tony had developed an interest in Bucky, but only the mechanical part of the man. The part Tony took ownership over. Tony did own all the cybernetic parts of Bucky. Does his ownership of the arm give Tony the right to command the human? It appears each new application/upgrade invaded more of the 'biological unit', as Tony called the human part of Barnes. And there was the rub. Where is the human equation, the human Tony ignores? The tentacles, the look on Bucky's face, where is this all going and when and where will it end? Is Bucky into something so similar to what he spent so much effort getting out of - operating under someone else's command? Buck is now 1/4 machine. When will he cease being human? At 1/2 machine, at 3/4th machine? Seems in conflict with the primary goal of Buck's autonomy. 

Barnes was right about one thing, Steve thought, it felt damn good to work: to do something to keep the place running instead of just being a guest to be cared for. The feeling was pleasant, to belong, to work together for a common goal. At dusk the wind stopped it's gale. 

****

First thing the next day, Steve, Natalia and Bucky met up for their morning workout. One area of intense interest was the double teaming. This idea flowed naturally from the fact there were three in the workouts. 

Buck and Nat were in their warm up when Steve arrived a little late. They worked with Kendo sticks, one of Nat's favorites. Not wanting to interrupt, Steve watched from the door. He leaned on the door well and smiled as he watched his friends. The smile left his face when the phrase natural born killers came into his mind. The movie was on their list but they had not yet watched. Steve wasn't sure if there was such a thing as a natural born killer. Was it just easy to label someone an evil killer? Everyone knew evil was beyond understanding. Was calling 'evil' just an excuse to do nothing about the situations that created killers? 

Steve knew these were deep thoughts. All he knew for sure was about himself. Steve knew he was made to kill. Were Buck and Nat made or born? Steve watched his friends. They fought each other like animals fight. They were focused. They were vicious. They fought like their lives depended upon it. This was their play. Their communication with each other was so acute, so precise, they so clearly anticipated the others moves that their strikes became so rapid, so bold, that they seem to be in another world. Their minds were gone from them. There was no retreat only attack. Steve would not figure it all out right there on the spot but he knew one thing: if there was such a thing as a natural born killer, Buck and Nat were the real goods, and they saw him.

"Hey, you're the last one in. So . . . you're first up for the double team," Buck said. 

Steve feared as much. He grabbed a stick and the fight was on. They were already warm, so they had a double advantage. They were serious. They were focused. They were deadly. Steve felt he fought for his life. At one point he thought, 'have they lost their minds'? They stopped suddenly and laughed, as if communicating by telepathy. Steve laid on the floor, gasped for air, his face was red from exertion and wet with sweat. He felt he was lucky to be alive. They moved on as if nothing at all happened. Buck and Nat left him lay there and hit each other with the sticks as their form of a cool down.

"Come on, Steve. Buck's next," Natalia said. 

Steve maintained eye contact with Nat. This was something new they were trying out: communicating through body language, through the senses, intuitively, to create a new level of teamwork. They sparred a few minutes. Steve knew he should be focused on her as intensely as he had seen Buck do moments earlier.

"You know Buck, I want to talk to you about Tony and all these upgrades. I have concerns about who's in control, you or Tony?" Steve spared with Nat.

"As far as I'm concerned Tony owns me. I'm alive because he says it's okay. If he wants me dead. I'm dead. It's as simple as that."

"You should think more of yourself, Buck."

"You should think more of yourself and paying attention. She could accidentally kill you." 

Buck watched the action and gave them a good long time together before he attacked them. It did not take long before  
Buck was beaten by the team of Romanova and Rogers. Even though he enjoyed kinesic communication with Natalia at all times and could anticipate her every move, he struggled to keep on his feet. 

It was a freak accident. She tripped him up, and he fell backwards. She tried and Steve tried to catch him or break his fall, but he hit with a smack and was unconscious for seven or eight seconds. Natalia leaned over him and called his name. She called him Angel. She called him Soldier.

When he woke he clutched her by her shoulders and held her tight. Dazed, Buck said, "It was just like this. Your braid fell here." He slid his hand across his chest. "You were crying, like now, and your tears fell on me. There was blood on my hand. I touched your face. It got really bright in the room. We fought . . . more like a dance. We stood in the corner and made up our sign language. I remember. I remember." 

Buck took her into his arms. Their tears flowed freely as they kissed and consoled each other. Steve backed up from the scene and out the door. He stood by the door, breathed deep and sweated. He looked around to see if they were okay and went on about his day.

This one most beautiful memory opened a door and did not bother to shut the door behind it. Memories of all types flooded in. Bucky remembered he bit her. HE put the scars on her neck. Buck stopped his regular routine. Steve did not see him for days and days. Buck was in the constant company of Nat and Bruce who guided Buck to navigate the amazing breakthrough he was experiencing and find a path to acceptance. Buck spent hours on the BARF machine even during the day. 

****

After five days of not seeing anyone at all Steve couldn't sleep. He paced around his room in the middle of the night, gave up on sleep and headed out to the beach for some fresh air. He found Bucky at the time portal, flipping through the instruction manual.

"Hey, what's going on?" 

Buck did not answer. He touched the controls.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going home."

Cap bristled.

"Do Tony and Banner know about this?"

"I'm going home," Buck said as he powered up the Time Machine.

"Are you sleepwalking again? Are you awake?"

Buck made his eyes big and looked at Steve, right in his face. Yes, Steve thought, he did look awake.

"Well, can we talk a minute? What's your plan?" Steve stammered. 

"I'm going back before the war. I'm not going to enlist."

"You'd just be drafted."

"I'm not enlisting and you're not volunteering either. We're going to Canada or Australia and join some war effort there," Buck set the machine. "Maybe we'll get the Pacific theater," Buck mumbled.

"What? Can you hold on a minute? Can you stop and talk to me just a minute. I won't stop you, maybe you have a good idea. Just talk to me, just talk it over with me." In his peripheral vision Steve saw Tony, Nat, and Bruce in the hall. He waved them off.

"Alright," Buck rested his hands on his thighs and gave Steve his full attention.

"Why now? What's going on now? Why today?"

Buck shook his head three or four times: sped it up as he went. He breathed in and out rapidly. He closed his hands but left them at rest on his thighs. 

"I've been captured, Steve, by the other side. I'm confined. I'm a prisoner again, on machines again. I don't know where I am. I don't know when I am. I'm not real. This is not real. Am I a machine?" His eyes were wide open; his voice was up an octave. "Am I even human? What is this?" Buck waved his cybernetic hand around. "I want my real arm. I want my real life. I'm going home." Buck glanced around suspiciously and whispered. "I have to get away from here . . . It's Tony . . . I like him. I like him and I killed his parents. How can I live with that? I want to forget, for just a minute. I want it not to be true." He lowered his voice into the baritone. "I want this over. I'm going back and start again. I'm going home."

"I really don't think you're awake."

"I'm awake . . . maybe for the first time."

"You know, you're already there."

"I know all that science fiction bullshit. One of us will vaporize or whatever. If it's me that would be a blessing but not before two sentences from me straighten the other one out and straighten you out too."

"You can't save me, Buck. I had to volunteer."

"Huh?"

"You know that last attack I had before you deployed, well, the doctor told me a few more like that I wouldn't make it. He gave me a year – one year to live."

"Dr. Matthews told you that?"

"Yep."

"Steve?"

"Yeah, I know. You can't help me. But I can help you. I see your struggle here, Buck. I bet you've been down here before?"

"Yeah, yeah, sure I have."

"You've been here six months. I can see you're more yourself every day." Steve moved in close to him and looked him in the eyes. Bucky's eyes were large, moist, his face relaxed, his mouth was open and he breathe deeply through it.

"Considering what you're about to do. I'm ready to tell you some cold hard facts about living in this time. It's hard for me to talk about this but it has to be discussed. We can't go back. As much as I know we both want to. We can't go back. It took me a long time. A long time of grief. A long time of childish wishes and dreams before it became a fact. So I'll save you all the trouble. You can't go back. You can't go back and live the life you were meant to live. And you can't escape this time, or stall, because you can't go back into stasis ever again. We are stuck here. We will live out our lives here. 

"You probably haven't noticed, being isolated here like we are at Solaris, but things are different now in the real world. You can see it - in the movies we're watching. Friendships like we have. Friendships from the cradle to the grave kind of friendships are practically nonexistent here. Families don't stay together. People have multiple parents. People don't even know their cousins. There is mass movement of people for jobs. People don't trust their neighbors. People are cynical here, people are out for number one, and they think everyone has an agenda – and they usually do. People are forced to try to protect what little they have. 

"They don't know what to make of us here, Buck. They've not seen anything like us and they don't understand it and to everyone, every man jack of them, I think they're jealous: Rumlow, Zemo, Wilson, even Tony. 

"I've been here eight years trying to build friendships and camaraderie like we had in college and in the army with the commandos. Still Tony treats me like a possession, an object in his arsenal to use like any other weapon. I see you contorting yourself waiting for any sign Tony's doing all this nobility for something other than himself, his resume, his legacy, and that he genuinely wants to forgive and repair. That he genuinely wants truth and reconciliation. He may, he really may, he probably does, but you may never see it. I've seen you, it's been six months. You've been through the ringer, monitored 24/7. And it will be another six month and then a year. Hell, Tony's committed to five years of you going through a lot of pain, a lot of suffering to see nothing from him. 

"If you get to the point you can't take it anymore, which is probably where you are right now. If you can't tolerate anymore. If you can't suffer anymore, please Buck, please suffer for me. Take it a little longer. Because this place is unbearable to me without you."

Barnes glanced around the area and set the time machine for October 2, 1941.

"You're going to leave without Natalia?" Steve said in an act of desperation.

"Who's Natalia?"

Steve sprung to his feet, grabbed Bucky's shoulders and shook him, and shook him some more, "Wake up, Wake Up, WAKE UP!"

Buck sprung to his feet. "What are we doing down here?"

"We've been having a conversation for 15 minutes. Good lord, you were asleep."

"I was sleepwalking again? I turned this machine on?"

"Yeah, you said you were going home."

"I have to turn this machine off. Tony will get a notice. He'll get a notification. A loud one. Loud enough to wake him."

Tony, Nat and Bruce stepped on to the scene. Bucky and Natalia flew into each other's arms like magnets. 

"This is my fault," Nat said to the boys, "I fell asleep."

"I'll power down." Tony said to Bucky, "why don't you forget BARF tonight and sleep in your own room – take a break – we could all use a break."

"No, Tony, I can go on. If ever I needed that machine it's now."

Banner took his arm, "I'll set you up."

Buck studied Steve – searched his face.

"It's okay. You can go."

Buck lingered and rested his hand on Steve's shoulder. 

"Really, it's okay. We can discuss it tomorrow. Go on now."

Buck walked with Banner and Nat, one on each side. 

"Are you going to restrain me?" He said as they closed in on him.

"No," said Banner.

"No, Angel, no." Natalie slid her arm up his human arm and they disappeared around the corner.

"Do you think he heard you?" Tony powered down the Time Machine.

"God, I hope not," Steve rubbed his forehead with the back of his hand. "Tony, you've got to let up on him . . . all these upgrades."

"I see your point. I'll lay off."

****

Another four days went by without a return to the regular routine. No one showed up to watch movies. No one showed up to exercise. Steve had not seen Bucky since the time machine fiasco. And there he was in the hall, standing motionless with his back up against the wall. He stared down the hall at something. His body posture was odd. Steve looked and looked again and there was nothing in the hall – nothing.

"Hey man . . . Buck?" Steve touched Bucky shoulder. "I missed you man."

"Steve!" Buck rushed into Steve's arms for a full frontal Russian man hug, equipped with a kiss on each cheek. Buck pulled away quick.

"Sorry, I know you're not huggie." 

"No, I am huggie," Steve smiled and hugged Bucky. He held him by the shoulders, looked into his face, held his head by the neck and shook it around, "you look like shit." Steve roughed Buck's head around and hugged him again.

"Where're you headed?"

"Kitchen."

"Me too."

Bucky's hand shook as he drank his coffee. The coffee splashed into the saucer. He attempted to dab the coffee with a napkin but spilled more.

"Talk to me. What's going on? I feel totally out of the loop. I know I'm not a doctor, but neither is Romanova."

"But she's lived this shit, Steve. You could be spared."

"If you spare me you're making me redundant, and you know how I hate that."

"I do, but I haven't been in reality much until today . . . I really didn't want you to see me like that, if you don't mind."

"Understood. Fill me in now."

"You saw what happened in the game room, well, that was just the beginning. Bruce said it was a breakthrough. Memories just kept coming." Bucky sipped his coffee by putting his lips on the cup on the table and tipping the cup and saucer to his mouth. Steve had seen his parents drink coffee like this many times. "You know, I don't know if I like that word, breakthrough. It sounds like something big – sounds like something good - doesn't it? Well, it's not – it was a pain in the ass." Buck laughed and Steve followed suit.

"God, I missed you."

"I asked to see you many times . . . then I'd take it back," Buck smiled and laughed.

"Don't do that to me again," Steve was serious.

"I won't, okay? I really won't."

"You know you can't work your body like we do and just stop. It's really bad for you."

"Don't I know it. I feel like shit. Let's start the routine in the morning. No, let's do something now."

"We could lift?"

The kitchen door flew open, and three of Tony's personal robots rolled in pulling a room service cart. "Complements of Tony Stark." The lead robot said.

"What is it?" Buck was courteous to the robot as if it was human.

"Homemade chicken noodle soup."

"What?"

The robot laid out the spread: a huge soup pot on a warming tray; a soup carafe for leftovers, soup bowls, oversized soup spoons; crackers, butter and milk, a whole comfort food bonanza. The robots ladled the steaming hot soup into the bowls. The smell rose and hit Bucky's face.

"Oh, oh," his eyes moistened when he saw the big hunks of chicken, "those look like homemade noodles. Are they?" Buck said to the robot.

"That is correct."

Bucky took a slurp, "Oh God," he buttered a cracker, but his hands shook so much he crushed the cracker. He tried again by laying the cracker on the table to add the butter, but he crushed that cracker too. The moisture in his eyes threatened to spill over. Steve watched with pain at the sight, but he got it together and casually buttered a few crackers. "Here you go, Bud."

They feasted. 

"There's so much left over, I have to take this to Natalie. She's not slept much the last few days. We'll start in the morning. Same routine?"

"Check."

****

Bulky rolled the cart into their room, right up to her sleeping body. The aroma of the soup may wake her, he thought. He joined her on the bed, soft, quiet, so not to wake her. He put his body in communication with her's by his body heat, breath and scent. 

This is how they communicated with each other, through the body, through the senses. They groomed each other like primates. They challenged each other's bodies, yes, but they also soothed and massaged, pampered and pleasured the body. And through the body the spirit became exalted and healing began. When alone their bodies always touched: stroking, holding, feeling, pressing against the other. And even when alone they spoke through their sign language. He would shut his eyes and feel her small hands as they made the signs. It was as if the spoken word would break the spell they created together. 

He snuggled by her neck. He took in the fragrance of her hair and returned it with his breath. He knew every hair on her head, every crease of her lips, and every fleck of color in her eyes. He could shut his eyes and mold her form with his hands with perfect precision. His gaze travel to her neck and to the scars from the bite he now knew he did. These feeling? When will these feelings lighten up? 

At times like this his poor mind traveled to her other scars; someone had done her worse. He was drawn to the scars on her side and shoulder. He caressed them, massaged them and ruminated over them. He tried to push them out of existence. He tried in every way both subtle, and overt to hear the stories of these scars. He planned in his mind what he would do to the perpetrators when he discovered their identities. If he knew anything, in his whole life, in the whole world, he knew he would learn their identities, in this one thing he was patient. Her reluctance to tell him only inflamed his imagination. Was it Steve? Was it Bruce? Was it Tony? Or did they fail to guard her from harm in some way? He did not want to kill again, but in this case he would make an exception. He took this thinking to the point of madness. She stirred and rolled to face him. 

"Angel?" she said, and they held each other. He knew his disturbed thoughts woke her, but he said nothing.

"What's that smell?" 

Bucky was all smiles as he watched her finish off the soup. He watched her every movement as if each bite she took nourished him too. They walked in unison to the beat of each other's heart. They opened the door to the balcony, wide open, and laid on the floor on a blanket. They looked at the stars and the moon. They listened to the roar of the ocean in the distance and the soft tinkling of the inlet waters. He wanted her pressed against his chest where he could warm her. He remembered nothing but this moment. He wanted nothing but this moment. She ran her foot up and down his foot and leg; she moved her hand up the back of his neck and down to the rhythm of the waves. After an hour, when she thought he was asleep, she stopped.

"Don't stop," he said.

She resumed the beat. He could never be stroked or petted enough. She offered a grain of sand to his ocean of need. She could never fill him up, his emptiness was so vast. She knew this, but still she would love to spend her life trying. For everything she gave to him she was replenished 10 times over, her love was so strong. They rolled themselves in the blanket; she laid on his chest and they slept like that. His restlessness woke her during the night.

"Angel, is your arm hurting?"

"No . . . No it's."

"You're arm's not making noises again?"

"No . . . I dreamed I held you with two real arms."

"Oh, come on. You know I love the cold hard steel pressed to my body," she said in her gravely deep voice.

"I think you really do."

"Hold me tighter." He did tighten his grip on her.

"Ah, ah, ah, ahaaaa . . . "

****

The regular routine at Solaris started the next morning. Things rolled along and smoothed out over the next few days until the whole thing blew up when again. Steve received an official communication from T'Challa, The King of Wakanda.

Steve carried five packets, thick with papers and called everyone together in Tony's briefing room. Bruce Banner in his white lab coat, pocket protector full of pens and pencils sat at the back of the room. Making a brave attempt at professionalism, Nat and Buck sat across the table from each other. They eyed each other and communicated using their secret sign language. Tony paced around the back and sides of the room, his mind a million miles away. Steve was serious and looked overwhelmed. He spoke in a voice louder than normal and shuffled papers around without his usual confident organization.

"We have a serious situation here. It seems Zemo – yes that's right the Baron, Colonel Helmet Zemo was extradited from Germany to Wakanda a few months ago. If you have any question about that, or curiosity there is an international UN statute that gave Wakanda first dibbs on him because he is accused of killing a head of state. Zemo was being held in a maximum security prison in Wakanda, and during some unrest at the prison, managed to take 34 guards, and prison staff hostage. He is holding them in the security wing of the prison that houses a shit load of munitions. He has control of the intranet that serves the facility. He said he will negotiate with one person and one person only, and that person is James Barnes.

"Is this a joke?" Buck said, but he knew it was no joke.

"Good try, but I'm afraid you're on the hot seat. In front of you is a copy of the transcripts of all phone conversations with the King, all data his courier sent formally pertaining to the expedition, maps, and floor plans of the prison. King T'Challa requests Barnes come immediately to negotiate for the hostages."

"Since when do the Wakandans need help?" Tony said.

"The Wakandans are clearly not asking for help, their exact words were, it would be 'convenient' for them, if Bucky would come. I request we read what's in front of us thoroughly, before making any decisions."

Bucky stared into Natalie's eyes as he had been doing the last few minutes. He signed to her – 'I am going' – she signed back – 'yes, of course you are'.

Bucky rose from his seat, put the packet under his arm and said to Tony, "Come on, let's outfit this arm." 

Tony shrugged his shoulders at Steve as he followed Bucky out of the room. Steve threw his packet on the table with a snap. "Dammit all to hell."

Outfitting the arm took longer than expected. Barnes repeatedly blacked out after 15 minutes using the invisibility hologram: a necessity for this particular mission. Tony and Banner worked steadily to extend the time to 25 minutes, the barest minimum acceptable range. Steve could not get near Bucky. 

Finally, Steve received notice, the LearJet would leave in 45 minutes for Wakanda. Steve met the team in the ready room. Tony, Nat and Banner milled around the back tables handling equipment. Bucky was around 20 feet from them – alone. Steve made his move.

"Why are you taking this on?"

"This is just the kind of thing I want to do. I want to do something good, 34 hostages – if I can help get them out of alive -"

"You know it's a trap."

"I have memory problems, Steve. My IQ's intact."

"You're getting as sarcastic as he is."

"Come on, he's funny. He's funny as hell."

"Yeah – well – Zemo's smart. He's smart as hell. He's blindsided us before. He has something planned no one can see."

"There's a team - " Steve grabbed Buck's arm and cut him off. 

"I was never briefed. There is no team. NO TEAM. We're going as back up only. You're going in alone."

"You've trained me for six months. And you've no confidence in me?" Buck removed his arm from Steve's grip. 

"Yeah, well, I don't see your diploma." Steve waved his hand up and down in front to Barnes. "I don't see you've graduated from the school you're in. Banner hasn't released you for duty."

"I'm close."

"Bucky, you were crying in your noodle soup three days ago." Steve whispered and glanced around the room.

"Really? You're going to bring that up? You know I hadn't seen noodle soup since 1943 and besides, three days ago – that's a long time."

Steve held Bucky's arm again and applied pressure. Buck glanced at the event and back at Steve.

"We had a deal - to combat your impaired judgment – oh wait – you've probably forgotten – right? Let me refresh your impaired memory. You use MY judgment until your head's on straight."

"I'm overriding all that."

"It's still nuts in there and you know it," Steve pointed a finger at Bucky's head.

"I am in control," Barnes snapped back and hit Steve's finger from in front of his face.

"Then why are you losing your temper?"

"And why are you needling me?" Buck jerked his arm away from Steve again, shook off his rising irritation and continued calm and rational.

"It's called setting proper boundaries."

"God, I hate when you babel pseudoscience like that. What? Did you hear that from Banner?"

"You criticize my attempts at personal growth while you stagnate?"

"I'm telling you honestly how I feel . . . right now."

Under great restraint, Barnes calmed and took a deep breath. "Okay, okay. Look. Success would be worth the risk. T'Challa took great risk for me. Hell, Steve, you go yourself." Bucky made himself mad this time. "Now, let me get in your face." Bucky turned to face Steve, close in, face-to-face. "How can I not go?" 

Steve was silent. Buck stared him down. The heat was turned up on Barnes - his stare down so intense that any sane person had only one course of action, back up, for Buck's eyes said one thing and one thing only, they said, 'I'm capable of anything.' He was not bluffing. Buck turned to walk away. Steve, intimidated by Buck's intensity, pulled him back by the arm a third time.

"So, what happened to your, 'I'm not going to be so user-friendly' idea?"

"Tony didn't ask me to go. Zemo asked for me. And Zemo's gonna get me." Buck said in anger.

"There's other ways to use people."

"You aughta know."

Steve grimaced at that like he'd been hit in the face. He changed tactics.

"Buck, Buck, you know you don't have to do anything like this ever again."

"Why? Because I fit so well into society? I can go be a carpenter somewhere, have a home and a family? No, I'm gonna do what I'm trained to do. I'm gonna do what I do best. I am gonna try to make up . . ."

"What are you gonna do, kill him?"

"I'm going to do whatever's necessary."

"That program has been removed. You're not the Winter Soldier, you know."

"Wanna bet?"

"Now, what are you trying to prove, and who are you trying to prove something to?"

For a moment Buck looked unsure. But this time he pulled away from Steve using his cybernetic arm. Bruce, Nat and Tony watched the interchange.

"Whoops, trouble in paradise?" Bruce said.

"That's a first," Nat added.

"What a fight that would be," Tony rubbed his hands together. 

Steve stood with his hands on his hips and watched Bucky walk away. 

Buck strode to the door. He brushed his hair behind his ear a few times with his human hand and gave his hair a little pull.

Tony intercepted Bucky.

"You look like a rabid dog," Tony said. 

Buck thought that was funny.

"You better heel, boy." 

Again, Buck laughed at Tony's sarcasm and made it out the door.

Steve ground his teeth. 

Tony turn to Steve and said:  
"This is 100% his decision. 100%. Let him spread his wings. Let him fly."

Steve knew Buck was flying, alright, flying right into the jaws of hell.

****

Zemo controlled the whole west wing of the prison complex. This area housed all security: security housing, mess hall, weapons room; evidence storage room, recreational areas - the whole works. Zemo was holed up in the observation room. A row of security cameras took up one wall. He stood in front of a long metal table where he had placed all 34 hostages: guns, batons, battering rams, mace, knives, brass knuckles and the like. Behind the table was a row of two-way mirrors that led to the interrogation rooms. Zemo could see out the window of the main door the metal detector down the hall that all visitors must pass through before entering the command center. 

At last, he saw a one-armed man pass through the metal detector. No lights flashed. No alarm sounded. Colonel Helmet Zemo looked the man over, searched his face. He studied the camera view as the man stood before the door waiting to be buzzed in. It was him, it was Bucky. Zemo walked to the table, flipped the rifle strapped to his chest under his arm, picked up his cell phone and buzzed his visitor in the security door. As soon as Barnes stood in the room the heavy security door slammed shut behind him. Zemo pressed send on his cell phone. A shutter of joy shook his body and he smiled. He pressed record video and held the phone up to record his guest. Buck did not move. He stood right inside the door around 25 feet from Zemo. 

"Bucky! You're here!" Zemo sarcasm betrayed his smile.

"My name's Barnes."

"Rumor has it you were here in Wakanda on ice."

Buck shrugged.

"I heard they came to get you."

"Yeah – so?"

"I heard you're all together again, the triad, working together."

"Yeah – so what?"

"I heard Stark made you a new arm? Where is it?"

"You hear a lot. Yeah, well, it's removable, if that's any of your business."

The smile left Zemo's face. "Take off your shirt."

Buck slipped off his shirt.

"Place it on the ground."

Buck dropped it. He did what he was told, and quick, there was a time constraint on how long he could tolerate the invisibility hologram before he passed out cold on the floor, right in front of Zemo.

Zemo looked Barnes over with great scrutiny. He searched the hideous looking stump. He recorded and replayed, enlarged and studied the area to get a close look, an exact look.

"You have a nice physique."

"Shut up about that."

"For a cripple, that is."

"Oh, go fuck yourself."

"You look pitiful. You look helpless."

"I'll kill you with one arm."

"Oh! beautiful!" This put the smile back on Zemo's face. "I couldn't have written a better script for you to read to the world." Zemo pressed send, then record. He propped his cell phone on the desk behind him. He sat on the table, raised his gun to hip level and fired the rifle in the general direction of Bucky – not to hit him but to activate him – which it did. Barnes discontinued the invisibility hologram, exposed his true cybernetic arm and advanced the 20 or so feet to the man, hair flying in his wake. Zemo fired to kill. Bucky blocked a barrage of bullets with his arm. The bullets ricocheted and rebounded in every corner of the room, breaking the glass mirrors and screens. Bucky marveled at the Vibrainums ability. With his cybernetic arm first time in combat Buck ripped the strap from Zemo's body. The rifle flew across the room and hit the wall with such force it discharged 20 rounds before it sputtered to its death. 

'Lighten up', Buck told himself. 

He grabbed Zemo by the throat; the metal fingers squeezed the flesh. Both Zemo's hands reflexively grabbed the Cyborg's arm. Everything stopped. 

With every step Buck took, Zemo shrunk in stature. When Bucky held him by the throat he held a small man. A man who's neckbones he could crush like wadding up a piece of paper. 

"Where are the hostages?"

"Kill me and you'll never find them."

"What? Did you send them into another dimension? I kill you, I find them. You tell me, and I escort you back to your cell." Buck applied enough pressure on Zemo's carotids to hold him uncomfortably. Buck was now willing to take his time and let Zemo play out his whole hand.

Zemo picked up his cell phone and said: "You may be interested in seeing this." He held the phone in front of Bucky's face. Buck saw the video of the Winter Soldier and Tony's parents, had been posted to YouTube. Buck shut his eyes. It did not take much imagination to see the video, in real time, flying into every home, every street corner, government office, police station and CNN. When he opened his eyes he had gone to another place. With Zemo's body trembling under his pressure, at that moment, he knew he would never be free of the monster.

"I think I'll kill you twice."

Buck flicked his cybernetic thumb off Zemo's neck and pushed back the thumbnail to release the yellow mist of truth serum. The serum waifed up Zemo's nostrils, his head relaxed, his eyes rolled back in his head as the rush of the drug hit his brain.

"Now then. Where are the hostages?"

"They're in the freezer."

"I know you filmed it. Show me."

Zemo showed Buck the video of all the hostages frozen.

"I'm going to kill you now. Set your recorder." Buck put the squeeze on Zemo's neck.

"I . . . I did want you to kill me." Zemo became distressed, "but now I don't want to die," came rolling out of Zemo's mouth at 100 miles an hour.

Buck stayed the execution.

Buck glanced into Zemo's most pathetic, begging eyes. "Why did you do this?"

"Because I don't have any friends."

Buck let out all his air through his distended nostrils and touched the communicator on his cybernetic wrist. He spoke to Tony. "The hostages are dead in the freezer. Can you confirm?"

A few moments later Tony signaled back. "Confirmed."

Buck took a second to glance around the room. A calmness washed over him. He felt calm and alert at the same time. He felt an extreme alertness and a perfect calm. Alert and calm in a way most people never feel. The professional had taken over.

"What do the Wakandans want me to do with this weasel?"

"Still killing on orders?" Zemo spit out the words barely able to get air.

"My blood is stirred. Don't test me."

"You were a killer before they made you."

"As were you."

Tony came back with, "they don't have the death penalty. They would like him unable to kill again."

Buck thought that over for a moment. He didn't like it. 

"I understand." Buck shut his eyes again. How did he understand? Only a seasoned, trained, professional assassin would understand the subtlety of such a request. Again, the monster. They all knew, they all knew who to send. They sent the real thing.

It took a moment for Zemo to realize what his options were. But being a smart man and a trained professional himself, when the horror of what was about to happen to him became real he panicked, picked up a knife, and slashed Bucky across the chest. Buck opened his eyes with that. He squeezed his metal hand to choke Zemo off, and received two, three, four, slashes, the last slash across his face, before Zemo became unconscious, relaxed his hand and dropped the knife. 

Buck smelled his blood run warm. He felt his blood run down his chest, trickle across his abdomen to his waistband; his abs rippled in a spasm. The slice to his face began above his ear and cut over his temple, following the hair line. This cut bled profusely. Blood pooled in his ear. He shook his head violently, flicking the blood out of his ear, only to have it fill up again, run down his cheek and drip off his chin like a leaky faucet. He brushed his blood from his chin and mouth with force and irritation.

He held Zemo. He held him, oxygen cut off from the brain and he counted the second 12, 13. Buck remembered little of his feelings the last years but he remembered this feeling. 21, 22, 23. Zemo looked small and helpless; he went limp. They were alike in many ways brothers.

"I could've been your friend," Buck said out loud. 39, 40. He held the pressure on Zemo. 51, 52, 53, Buck looked into his victim's unconscious face. He shut his eyes for a third time. He had an overwhelming urge to let him go, 63, 64, but he knew he'd kill again. 76, 77, He put his hand over Zemo's heart. 80, 81, Bucky felt Zemo's heart beat, rapid and strong. 95, 96, Zemo's skin became ashen. His lips turned white, then gray, then blue, then fatal blue. Buck felt Zemo's heart skip a beat - and again - wait a little longer. He waited. He waited. He waited. Zemo's face was swollen and the red turned to blood red. The Cyborg's metal fingers snapped off the pressure on Zemo's neck. 

Buck held him against his chest. His organic arm and hand supported Zemo's head and neck – like one holds an infant. With one sweep of a metal to metal screech, Buck cleared the table of all the weaponry, and laid Zemo out: lungs breathing, heart beating – could not vouch for the brain. Buck stood still a few moments, his own body tingled and trembled. He called Tony. 

Tony was the first person to enter the room.

"He killed them as soon as he got them," Buck glanced at his chest wounds.

So did Tony. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, no, yeah . . . I'm okay."

"His condition?"

"He's alive, but he won't be able to plan or carry out a similar attack in the future." Buck shuttered as he felt his blood run down his abdomen.

The EMTs came in to Zemo. 

Bucky said to them, "that's my blood on him – on his face."

Tony peered into Buck's face. "Oh my God," was his response to what he saw there.

"He . . . I . . . "

"It's alright – come on. We're outta here."

"Tony . . . the video?"

"Ah, we'll deal with it, come on . . . NOW. The team's on the plane – engine running."

Buck turned to look at Zemo.

"The PLANE."

Buck moved slow.

"MOVE. MAN."

Finally, some force propelled Barnes forward. He picked up his shirt by the door. Blood ran into his eye stinging them. He slipped his shirt on, picked up the front of the shirt with both hands and wiped the blood, sweat and other fluids from his face. He hustled out the door with Tony.

****

The knife was sharp, the cuts clean, in two places down to the meat of the man. Banner stitched and glued and dressed up Barnes. The facial wound most disturbed Dr. Banner. The cut exposed the temporal nerve and the temporal artery. Banner saw it pulsing away. A few cells deeper the artery would have been severed. He wished, at that moment, he was a vascular or neurosurgeon. If he made any mistake, Buck could have facial paralysis for life.

Natalia was present. Banner mentioned the debriefing.

"The debriefing will have to wait an hour. I need some time." Buck was declarative. 

"Then lay still," Bruce barked back. He glanced at Nat, shook his head and returned to the main cabin of Tony's Learjet.

"Lay here with me." Buck's voice rumbled through his clenched teeth.

Natalie slid in beside him.

"Let me look at you. You're so bright. Your skin glows like a child's."

She nestled close to him.

"Your eyes shine like a child's." 

She didn't know where to touch him.

"When you come into view it's like a sunny day."

She held him close. His eyes twinkled at the sight of her.

"You're like eye candy."

"Where'd you hear that?" Her gravelly voice double-crossed her youthful appearance.

"Osmosis?" he shrugged. "You're so soft. So warm."

"Are you trying to seduce me?"

"Oh, you don't want me. I'm still wet," he gestured with his chin to his bloody chest.

If anyone told her any person on the face of the earth was capable of putting cuts like this on James Buchanan Barnes she would have screamed impossible. Yet there they were, red blood oozing through the white cotton dressings freshly applied. Natalie hovered her hand over his cuts like Reiki.

"How did this happen?"

"I shut my eyes."

"Whatever for?"

"What I had to do to him . . . I couldn't watch."

She kissed him on the lips and held him close. Close enough to get underneath the surface. She could read the emotions on his body like braille. He had sunk into something she had never seen. Something new. This scared her.

"Where are you? Where have you gone?"

"Oh, what the hell. That bastard Steve was right. I'm in no shape to take on a task like this. I had no business going in there. I was . . . it was . . . "

Natalie pressed as close to him as she could get. She put one hand on the back of his neck and her other hand low on the small of his back.

"Oh, the way you touch me."

She stared into his face and spoke to him like a hypnotist.  
"I'm not going to question the decisions you made in there. No Avenger would. I'm not going to scrutinize or judge the techniques you used to get the job done. No Avenger will. You were the man for the job. You were the only man for the job. You were sent in to do a job. The job is done. Is it not?"

Her cool hand on the back of his neck felt like a waterfall. He opened his eyes. "Yeah. That's certain. The job's done."

"It's done."

"It's done – it's done." Whatever he was in, he sank in deeper. She had not reached him through the mind. His madness blossomed to the surface.

"Ah . . ." Buck gasped.

"What is it?" she cried.

"I hear them. I see them."

"What do you hear? What do you see?"

"The others . . . it's a parade."

"Oh, my Angel. What can I do?"

"Touch me. Pet me. Make me know I am real."

"Oh," desperate to help him, she nuzzled, caressed and kissed him.

"I'm going to be sick." He bumped her off him, entered the airplanes tiny toilet and locked the door. 

He felt hot, then cold, and he was sick. He sat on the floor with his long legs folded up under his chin. He flushed the toilet and watched the water spiral down and out to the atmosphere at 40,000 feet. He flushed a few times and followed the water in his mind, around and around, down and down, rushing out, in the spiral, out into the dark free fall. He shook off that feeling. He washed his face, brushed his teeth, washed his hands a few times, and there it was again, the circle, the spiraling water – he rode it down again. 

An impulse over took him. For an instant, the horror of the present moment outweighed the horror of death. What on earth could he off himself with in this tiny toilet? He did not have to look far. He encircled his human throat with his cybernetic hand and squeezed. This is what I deserve, he thought, the same as I gave. By chance he saw his reflection in the mirror over the sink. He looked like Zemo, the same swelling around the eyes, the same shade of blue. All at once he was Zemo. So this is what it felt like. He could have been Zemo's friend, that was true. Maybe some truth serum floated into him, too. From this depth and a little anoxia, an idea was born. Bucky was moved by the idea into an image of the future. Steve's friendship had saved him. One single person alone had saved him. One person that did not give up. Could happen again because it happened once? He tingle all over with euphoria. That's nice, he thought, you feel good right before you croak off. His lungs spasmed for air. His legs trembled. His cybernetic hand tightened on his throat and seemed at that moment to have a mind of its own. Bucky's human hand grabbed at his mechanical arm. He tore at it. He bumped against the door. He struggled. Some kind of fluid came out of his mouth. His eyes felt like they were about to pop out of his head. He was going down. 

His hand mechanically snapped open from his neck. He coughed, and choked, and spit into the sink. He gasped for air. He became weak. He slid down the sink to his knees. He held on to the sink, rested his face on the cold metal of the sink and listened to his heart race. His cyborg arm laid across the sink. The weight of it stopped him from sliding onto the floor. He studied the graceful hand. He turned it over and over several times like he had never seen it before. "You're a killer." Buck said out loud to his hand. Would the hand have finished him off? That was crazy. 

The jet shook with the sudden impact of turbulence, Bucky went airborn and hit the wall hard with his shoulder. He snapped out of it. He stood before the sink and inspected his neck in the mirror. How was he going to explain the marks? He wet his hair, combed it with his fingers and pressed the whole mess, slick, behind his ears. He found a T-shirt that belonged to Tony. He put the shirt on over the bandages. He pulled the neck up as high as he could get it and went into the bedroom. 

Natalia had opened the door to the main cabin and stood in the door frame to keep an eye on the bathroom and talk to the group in the main cabin. They all held on for more turbulence. 

Steve stood close to her on the other side of the door frame. As Bucky approached, Steve raised his leg, and set his foot on the opposite door well, thereby, his leg blocked Buck from entering the main cabin.

Buck took the path of least resistance. He walked to Natalie, put his arms around her neck and kissed her forehead, cheeks and lips. He told her with his eyes, he was okay. He could not stand there forever so he gave in and made eye contact with Steve.

"You were right, smart ass."

"Told you so, moron."

"Creep."

"Creepy looking – you look like shit."

"You are shit."

"Great to hear things are back to normal," Banner said as he passed the trio.

Steve lowered his leg and allowed Buck and Nat into the main cabin. 

Tony flicked a look and closed his laptop.

"Hey, that's my favorite shirt you're bleeding on." Tony barked at Bucky.

"This? It has a cat on it." Buck frowned. "Well, it looks better on me anyway."

"It's too small for you."

"That's what I mean," Bucky smiled.

"Let's get to it." Tony stated the purpose of the file for Jarvis. "Zemo in Wakanda debriefing."

"Zemo was crystal clear about his intention, sameo, sameo, to break us up," Bucky waved his hand around the room at Banner, Nat, and Tony. "Especially irritating to him is the three of us," Bucky pointed his index finger at Steve and Tony, "what he called the triad. He knew I was stored in Wakanda. He knew you came to defrost me and he knew the three of us were working together."

"Does he have the address of Solaris?" Tony said with his usual sarcasm.

"How could he have known?" Steve said to keep the meeting on task.

"He said a rumor."

"Any ideas?"

"The two facilities are relatively close to each other, maybe 20 km, someone who worked at both facilities?" Buck guessed.

"Where else do rumors come from?"

"We can find that out," Tony open his laptop.

"When he heard the rumor, he took the hostages to get his cell phone and post the video. He records everything why would that particular video be an exception."

"Damn," Tony said.

"The truth serum took him right to the core of the issue. He was after the same results, but he had a different motivation. He said he did it because he doesn't have any friends. I can further that logic – and he doesn't want anyone else to have them either. His most brilliant life work, to kill off the Avengers from within was ruined by the magnanimous Tony Stark, making friends of his enemies. His plan was to end in a blaze of suicide by cop: me being the cop. Recorded for posterity, of course. The serum changed his mind." Bucky completed his report. The triad formed spontaneously Steve, Bucky and Tony stood triangulated.

"What Zemo's condition?" Buck asked Dr. Banner.

"Coma. His reflexes, however, are normal. Vital signs are strong. Prognosis will be clear in a few days. How much brain damage was done? Hard to tell at this point."

Tony asked Bucky, "how are you now?"

"I feel crazy but better in here with all of you . . . I was sick."

"I've done that," said Tony.

"I do that about every time," Steve added.

"Include me in that," Nat said.

"We all do," said Bruce.

Natalia and Bucky usually showed no affection at formal meetings. This day was an exception. Bucky held her by her hand and drew her to him.

"How successful is Zemo going to be in reaching his goal?" Steve asked. Turbulence shook the Learjet and they all sat.

"Very successful. There is already a warrant out for your arrest in New York State." Tony nodded to Bucky.

"THE video, and the one of you threatening to kill Zemo with one arm, is on every news station worldwide. If, and this is a big if, we managed to get back to Solaris without being apprehended we are using the time portal and Barnes is leaving, maybe for a year, maybe more, until I can get you an acquittal."

"What! You're harboring a fugitive! Land at the nearest airport. I'll turn myself in. Acquittal? Acquittal? Tony, I killed your parents."

Tony reacted instantly – he hit Bucky in the mouth with his fist. Buck raised his arms defensively and stopped. Tony grabbed Buck by the face and jaw with his left hand and jabbed him a few more licks with his right, pounded him and yelled in cadence with each stroke.

"Don't say my parents. Don't ever say my parents. They're my parents," Tony held Bucky's face and squeezed his fingers into his flesh. Buck's facial cut burst out some blood clots.

"Tony, for God sakes man!" Steve yelled.

Natalia slid beside Bucky's chair with her hands on his cybernetic arm. She was poised to intervene, if necessary . . . more to stop Bucky should his reaction go physical. He could kill Tony like the snap of a twig.

"They're my parents. They deserve the truth . . . the whole truth." 

This was a blowup brewing. Tony relaxed a bit and said:

"When the whole truth, the whole truth for everyone to see about their death becomes known you will be acquitted, or at least pardoned," Tony held Bucky's face with one hand, held him by the jaw with the other. He pushed Buck's head back for emphasis. 

Tony had made his point. Barnes saw no need for further displays of submission, or the need to tolerate the humiliation of having his neck exposed to an attacker.

Barnes slowly slid his metal arm from Natalie's grasp, and picked one of Tony's hands off his face and held it firmly, in a little ball, in his metal grip. Buck tasted his own blood for the second time in one day – he wiped it away.

Tony avoided Barnes. He never looked at him unless he had to and then only a glance. He was never close to him. And now their faces were inches apart. Tony studied the face before him. He tried to land on one emotion from the series of conflicting emotions he felt. Tony looked into Bucky's eyes. It was true what they say, his eyes were a blue like no other. His skin alabaster, without a flaw. His hair shinned like silk. The mouth, the mouth that Tony distorted with his thumb, could not be spoken of. Tony's face softened. He became sober for a moment from the intoxication of his emotions. He let up his grip on Bucky's face. He moved his hand, his finger, gently over Bucky's skin, a motion that Barnes interpreted as a tender touch. Tony did not know what he was feeling. He watched red form around the rim of Bucky's eyelids, and moisture congregate in the corners of his eyes. Until this very moment Tony thought, he, Tony Stark, was the most handsome man on planet earth. The mouth again, the mouth he pressed with his thumb open slightly, air rushed out and Buck looked deep into Tony's eyes and spoke:

"Tony, what are you doing? Tony, these feeling are too much. You must give up, man. You must give me up and forget all about this. You gave it a good try. It's just too much."

Tony put the squeeze back on Bucky's face. Tony's eyes hardened. He saw beauty and he wanted to destroy it. Smash it. Mess it up. He saw it, he could not process it, he could not be it, so he wanted to destroy it, like men so often do. Tony dug his fingers into Bucky's skin and shook his head.

"Boy you've got a piss poor attitude. I'm not quitting. I'm not turning you over to the police. I can just see you with the police, blinking at the lights in your face. I'll never give up. I'll never give you up."

"Can you unhand to each other?" Steve suggested.

Tony glanced at Steve, "No."

Bucky glanced at Steve. His eyes said back off. 

They were both intent to get something out or get something settled.

"Take the portal." Tony said.

"You think you've collected everything? There's more than you know . . . I did things . . . crimes." Buck glanced away.

"What? The prisoners? The prisoners you shot? The prisoners of war? That's on him," Tony jerked his head in Steve's direction, "that's on your commanding officer."

Natalie gasped and covered her mouth with her hand.

Buck eyeballed Steve.

"But it lives in me," Buck said loudly, "I survived all those years because I was brainwashed, Tony, not in spite of being brainwashed. It all lives in me like cancer."

Tony put more pressure on Bucky's face.

"If that's how you feel why did you stop in there? Why did you stop?"

"You have a camera in your bathroom?"

"NO . . . it's on you . . . or in you, rather . . . in the arm."

"Tony?"

"Just for today."

Steve saw by Buck's expression, a crack appeared in Tony's veneer.

"You could've set the hand on automatic and nothing would be living in you. Why did you stop?" Tony turned up the squeeze on Bucky's jaw and face and Bucky jacked up the squeeze on Tony's hand.

"Why did you stop?" The two men stared at eachother. 

Nat held her hands over her ears. Steve held her by her shoulders. 

There was a pause. All involved were soothed, momentarily, by the hum of the jet engines.

"Sometimes one person can make all the difference," Bucky's attention darted to Steve and Nat.

"And you might be that person in someone's life?"

"Yes, that's what I was thinking. I can't make up for anything if I'm not here."

"Now then, we can talk sensibly. You could turn yourself in. Yeah, sure you can. You can spend the next year or five behind bars punishing and torturing yourself, and lose all the ground you've gained, which is considerable, or you could pick a nice year, lay low, and work on your obvious self-esteem issues," Tony added under his breath, "and other glaring mental problems I'm not rude enough to mention at this time." Tony continued, "you could build on your progress and finish what you committed to do. Personally, I'm glad the video is out there. I'm gonna bring the truth to light regardless of your decision. If you're here or not here. If you're alive or if you're dead."

Buck was hurt more by Tony's last statement than any punch in the face.

"It was insensitive of me to say what I said about your par . . . " Buck said.

"That live or dead crap I just said, I want to retract that right away. You know I want you to take the portal." Tony sat on the arm of Bucky's chair. Tony loosened his grip but did not remove his hand from Bucky's face and jaw. "You know, I know you're over 100 years old, but I figure you've only been alive on the earth about 25 years. I have lived considerably longer. Take it from me, your punishment will come. Punishment always comes. You want to suffer? You will suffer. No one can escape it. There is no free lunch. So don't rush it. When the time comes you can take it like a man. Like you just took the pounding from me. Which I do not take back. I wanted to smash your face for a long time. It felt so good."

Bucky glanced at the beads of perspiration on Tony's forehead. Buck took off some of the squeeze on Tony hand. He was unaware of the pressure the metal hand exerted.

"Will you take the portal? Give me a year. You decide. I need to know fairly quickly," Tony let go. 

The Cyborg's fingers opened and Tony's hand fell out to his side. 

"I'm on edge. I need to take five." Tony walked by Bruce and whispered only to Bruce. "Come with me. I think my hand is broken." Banner and Tony shut themselves off in the bedroom with the medical supplies. 

Bucky leaned forward in his chair. He put his elbows on his knees. He rested his head in his hands. He did not move. 

"Having a good day there, Butch." Steve rested his hand on Bucky's shoulder. Nat put her hand on his other shoulder.

Bucky looked up and smiled, "that was funny, thanks." He placed his organic hand on top on Natalie's.

"I'm going to go in and talk to him," Cap said.

"Please don't." Buck glanced up at Steve. "Leave it between the two of us. I can't imagine what it's been like having me at Solaris for six months – a constant reminder."

"Angel? Please let me talk to him. That was humiliating."

"He knows he can't hurt me physically. Let's leave it . . . this time." Buck gazed into Natalie's eyes, their faces inches apart.

"You know," she said. If you decide to turn yourself over, I'll be there on visiting day. If you decide to take the portal, I'm going with you. I'm ready to go this minute without a second thought or any hesitation." Bucky flew into her arms. They stood by the bar, leaned on the bar and floated with the shifting turbulence of the jet.

"I shouldn't even have to say this, but I will make my position clear. I'm going with you, too. I don't need a refresher course in how to live in the 21st-century alone." Steve joined the couple at the bar.

"Steve? No."

"Skip the argument, Buck. I'm going. Prison or portal."

Natalie pulled Steve into the circle and held him there, her arms around both men's waist, drawing them to her. The men circled her with their arms. Steve rubbed Bucky's shoulder and Buck put his hand on the middle of Steve's back. Nat, Steve and Bucky looked into each other's faces and acknowledged to each other the emotions they felt in the face of adversity and the outlandish adventure they were about to undertake. Steve lingered his gaze on Buck, he'd seen this wild look on him before.

Meanwhile – in the bedroom.

"How long do I have to keep my hand in this ice bucket?"

"20 minutes in and 20 minutes out."

"Are you sure this hand is broken?" Tony asked.

"Yes, Tony, I'm a doctor and I'm sure. Your hand is fractured in a few places. Who do you want to see?"

"I'll go to my doctor in New York City . . . damn."

Tony and Bruce moved back into the main cabin.

"I need to be on the main computer unless you'd like to see U.S. fighter jets trying to force us to land."

"It's that acute?" Cap questioned.

"Think about it – this administration? Having something like this on me. To force down my private aircraft and arrest my guest. They'd love it. I'm balancing thousands of satellites to find a place to get lost." Tony took a seat at the computer.

"Barnes, you're bleeding through." Bruce noted.

All eyes focused on Bucky. Tony's T-shirt showed big red lines. 

"Why am I bleeding like this?"

"You need to be restful and horizontal. You've been neither. Come with me." 

Bruce and Buck entered Tony's bedroom and closed the door. Banner pointed to the exam table and Bucky laid himself out gladly. His chest hurt. His face hurt. The Novacaine had worn off. The whole side of his face throbbed like the kettle drum with each heart beat. He felt sick, weak and dizzy. He felt he was growing bigger, like the jet was too small to contain him.

Banner removed Tony's T-shirt from Bucky and his dressings. "You need to stay down for a while."

"When do we land for petrol?"

Banner pressed the video/audio connection with the front cabin and Tony.

"What did you say?" Banner curled his hand over his ear, motioned he could not hear over the engines roar.

Bucky spoke louder, "I said when do we land for gas?"

"Few hours, I guess," Banner cleaned up the bloody mess. Two stitches on Bucky's face had burst open. Banner made short work of the repair.

"These wounds are nasty," Banner put a heavy pressure dressing on Bucky's wounds.

"I feel crazy, Bruce."

"What would – feel crazy – do, Bucky?"

"I'm gonna turn myself in. There's no doubt about it. I'm gonna tear this place apart. I'm gonna fight anyone who tries to stop me from getting off this goddamn plane."

"Oh, I see." Banner stayed calm. "Let me give you something for that. You need to be still for a few hours," Banner saw Tony on the video screen holding up four fingers then six fingers, "for, say, four or five hours of sleep. Deal?"

"You don't need to finesse me Bruce. I'll take the drug."

"Alright, here's the new needless method."  
Banner handed Barnes an inhaler with a tube of the lavender liquid known as Tranquility. "Now, this liquid will aerosol as you inhale. You must take it all the first time. No second chances. Inhale all the liquid. Watch the liquid go down as you inhale. Pace yourself."

Buck raised up on his elbow and took a few deep breaths. The bandages were tight, but it felt good somehow. It felt good to have a boundary - a limit - something to keep him from exploding. He inhaled slowly. He watched the liquid go down and down halfway. The muscles across his body jerked and spasmed. He strained to hold himself up. His eyelids fluttered. He hit the bed, out cold. Nothing remained in the canister. He laid like death. He did not breathe for a full 30 seconds. The rolling rhythm of his respirations returned. He was at peace. Bruce Banner was at peace. The people in the front cabin were at peace.

****

Bucky Barnes woke with the Learjet's violent break for landing. He was alone. He was just as crazy as when he went out but now he was calm. He was calm and out of his mind. Calm enough to make a plan and crazy enough to execute the plan. 

He moved so fast. He appeared suddenly in the main cabin. He spoke to those in the cabin. "Going out for some air." He unlocked the emergency door with a snap, jumped off the plane and ran. He ran 30 miles per hour. The team in close pursuit: Tony suited, Natalie armed, Dr. Bruce Banner with a tranquilizer gun, and Captain America directing traffic.

"Iron Man, tackle him. Black Widow do not engage with him physically. Talk to him, play good cop, and keep talking. Hulk shoot, at your earliest opportunity."

Iron Man tackled him. Hulk shot him with the tranquilizer gun in the back of the thigh. Black Widow talked, and talked, and still Bucky ran. They followed. They followed until the crazy animal cornered himself in a blind cavern up against rock walls on two sides. Barnes stood panting, all of the cuts bleed through the dressings. Even his facial cut dripped a thin streak of serosanguineous fluid down his face. The team surrounded him.

"Now it's my turn," Cap said as he walked into a face to face with his friend.

"Where do you think you're going, you crazy lunatic?"

Buck backed up against the stone wall of the cavern, spread his arms out on the wall - his hands open - his fingers grasped the stones. His eyelids fluttered. His head look too heavy for his body.

"I'm going to the police." Buck's speech was slurred.

Cap slid close to peel him off the wall. When he was close enough to be seen by Buck, and Buck could manage the effort, he roared like a lion and hit Cap in the face with his cybernetic fist. Steve staggered back a surprising distance, righted himself, and grabbed Bucky off the wall. Steve tapped him a left and a right in quick succession. Bucky's reaction time was bad, but he still stood. Buck started a windup. Cap shook his head. He hit Barnes with a full strength blow. Bucky's body and head hit the ground hard.

"Geez," Cap knelt down by Bucky's side, felt his neck, felt his jaw and pushed his head a bit. Buck was in the twilight zone but he had enough wherewithal to clamp his teeth down hard on Cap's hand right on the fleshy part of the thumb.

"Ouch! Ouch! Don't bite! Stop! Ouch that hurts damnit!"

Buck's jaw slacked and Steve rubbed his bloody hand along Bucky's cheek.

"You fool. I could've broken your neck. Well, he's out. Iron Man fly him out of here. We're right behind you."

Tony's Learjet took off from Stark's private watering hole in the middle of nowhere. Cap was designated babysitter. Natalie and Bruce were needed on computers. Not taking any chances, Cap pulled the side panel off the plane by the examination table and chained Bucky's cyber arm, above the elbow, to the steel frame of the jet. Buck slept like a baby through the whole procedure.

Steve thought about how he complained of boredom on their first 20 hour flight home from Wakanda. He would enjoy some of that boredom now.

Buck slept nine hours. When he woke he appeared sane. Steve dug for the truth. 

"Are you prepared to talk sense and do some problem solving? We've got a real situation here."

Buck tensed his muscles to sit and winced at all his painful areas. He touched his chest, he touched his head, he touched his chin, he touched his neck.

"You're all there," Steve slid his chair in close.

"I thought it might not have been reality."

"That's a big negative."

Buck smiled at Steve. He felt better.

"You know, you're a lot of trouble." Steve smiled back at Bucky. Buck looked better. "Now, are you going to choose the Time Machine?"

"I want to take the Time Machine."

"Why?"

"All that was said, one thing was the truth. I made a commitment. I wanna keep my word. I wanna graduate from the school I'm in." Buck gave Cap a small grin.

"That's a really good reason," Steve handled Bucky's chain, but Bucky intercepted Steve's hand.

"No, I like it. I want it. I want to be restrained." 

Steve looked into his friend's face. He was better but still wild around the edges. Buck grabbed Steve's hand tighter and looked into his face.

"Steve, I need to be restrained."

"Do you need more drugs?"

"I think . . . no . . . We'll see . . . Maybe."

"Nat!" Steve called loud into the front cabin."We're gonna time travel." 

"Fabulous!" Natalie sat on the bed and rattled the chain on Buck's metal arm. "Let's pick a time. Where do we . . . I mean, when do we want to go . . . I mean, you know what I mean."

"The future," Bucky said.

Natalie frowned. No one liked the future they were in.

"Like the 60s." Bucky teased Steve. "You can see the Beatles."

"We need a specific year." Nat tested the strength of the clamp on Bucky's upper arm.

"When did the Beatles come to Southern California? You've got all that stuff memorized." Buck said to Steve but looked at Natalia. He put his hand on hers.

"1963." Steve said. It was true, he did have it memorized. Steve got the oversize screwdriver to unscrew Bucky from the chain.

"1963?" All future time travelers agreed on the year. Natalie was happy to go to a future for someone born in 1917.

"Let's see if 1963 checks out."

Tony got in on the conversation. "Why 1963?"

"Da Capin here wonts to see da Beills," Bucky said in a very bad British accent.

"The what?"

"Ya now, da Lods," again with the cockney accent.

"What?"

"The lads. You know. The Beatles."

"Good enough reason." Tony ran the calculations. In 1963 Natalia Romanova was not yet born. Steve Rogers was frozen in the Arctic. Bucky was not in use in 1963 or 1964. He was in Cryo, Tony repeated the Winter Soldier was inactive in 1963, and as far as time travel was concerned cryo-freeze was just as good as dead. Tony remote controlled his personal robots at Solaris. The robots warmed up the Time Machine, set the date for September 10, 1963 and packed the bags.

The moment Tony's Learjet entered US airspace they were detected on radar. Upon landing at the Solaris airstrip they could see fighter jets in the distance. Buck, Cap and Nat went down the hatch door in the bottom of the jets floor and down the manhole cover entrance to Solaris, hidden in the middle of the airstrip. 

Tony made one move after landing. He backed the Learjet a smidge, and placed the front wheels of the plane over the manhole cover, making it virtually invisible. It would take an act of Congress to get him to move his plane on private property. Tony did not need anywhere near that much time.

The personal robots escorted Buck, Steve and Nat to the Time Machine. A robot spoke to Natalie, "Tony said to personally hand you this." The robot handed her a diamond encrusted choker, "in case you get into trouble. The diamonds pop out easily and can be sold." Nat snapped it on around her neck.

Another robot handed Bucky the communicator from Dandalo's ship. "Tony said to tell you he always has his on him in case anyone drugs you again." 

A third robot spoke to Steve. "Tony said you need nothing because you will not get into any trouble." The three friends picked up their backpacks and stepped into another time.

Tony squirmed in his chair. All his body parts leaned in the direction of his elevated right hand that throbbed with pain. With his elbow on the arm of the chair, his hand raised to the sky he looked at his hand and moaned.

"Could you make some Martinis?" he said to Banner. Tony moved his fingers. Pain shot down his arm to his elbow and up to his shoulder. He would not try that again.

"We're just gonna sit here?" Bruce waved a hand in the air.

"Did you incinerate his bloody dressings?"

"Yes, of course."

"And my cat shirt?"

"POOF."

"Ooh," Tony frowned, "then yeah, let 'em come to us."

Bruce and Tony sat in welcomed silence and sipped their Martinis. It felt pretty sweet knowing Barnes was 50+ years away in the custody of two super powered Avengers. When they heard helicopters land, Tony suited up and went out to the landing field. 

Tony raised his hand, "STOP, this is private property. I am armed. State your business."

A voice from one of the helicopter said loudly, "FBI, we have a warrant to search your aircraft."

Iron Man lowered his hand, "come ahead . . . with the warrant."

The FBI searched the plane. They harvested fingerprints, cells, and hair samples. Bruce made another batch of Martinis. They searched the hanger, the ranch house and the grounds. They ask a lot of questions that Tony did not answer, well, he answer two.

FBI, "Why did you land?"

Tony, "Why don't you look at the gas gauge, Investigator."

FBI, "Where were you going?"

Tony, "The flight plan is laying right in front of you, Sherlock."

FBI, "I'm trying to understand how you must feel right now Mr. Stark but please just answer. Was James Barnes on this plane?"

Tony, "Okay, yes. I gave him a ride to Wakanda on King T'Challa's invite."

FBI, "And you left him there?"

Tony, "You don't see him do you?" Tony waved both hands in the air and regretted it later.

FBI, "Were you friends?"

Tony, "Yes." 

Bruce threw a shocked look at Tony.

FBI, "That's tough."

The End  
Of Book One  
Your Name is James Buchanan Barnes


	2. The Three Stigmata of Bucky Barnes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Book Two of the Bucky Bites Series

The Bucky Bites Series

Book Two

The Three Stigmata of Bucky Barnes

By Buck Rogers MD

"BREAKING NEWS . . . TONY STARK . . . " Was heard four times a day, every day, from every new service worldwide for one solid year. Tony gave press conferences. He turned over evidence directly to reporters. He hired attorneys. He hired a press agent. Tony spoke to Congress in open and closed hearings. He turned over all his Winter Soldier Investigation material: 5 GB of data, reams of hardcopies, film and tapes. Dandalo supplied the physical evidence of the control chip and a record of the chips implantation and removal. Dandalo spoke with the FBI, the Justice Department and a closed congressional hearing using Skype. The YouTube video of the Winter Soldier and Tony's parents had been viewed 500 million times before public outcry forced YouTube to take it down, much too late, for everyone had their own copy. 

Public opinion was brutal against the Winter Soldier with demands for the death penalty. Anger and outrage at Tony for harboring him was extreme and no one believed Tony did not know where the Winter Soldier was. As more and more facts became known plus a critical leak from the FBI, opinions started to soften and change.

First a few veteran groups and POW/MIA groups spoke out. Brainwashing and torture were nothing new. There was a precedent, a precedent of leniency, even if it involved human casualties.

The case was debated in every home, office and bar worldwide. Fights broke out. Friendships disintegrated and marriages moved from the tennis courts to the divorce courts. Attorneys argued over the statute of limitations in the state of New York. The Justice Department discussed civil court versus military court. The debate went on and on and everyone had an opinion. Experts from different fields spoke to the press and presented their evidence. Hypnotists said the Winter Soldier looked hypnotized in the video. Others in the field presented conflicting opinions. Drug company executive said he looked drug. Neuroscientist said brainwashing was real other neuroscientist said it was impossible. The Winter Soldier's behavior in the video was scrutinized and analyzed – every movement, every expression – for evidence that he knew what he was doing or recognized his victims. 

Only one thing was crystal clear: James Barnes killed Howard and Maria Stark, brutally. There had to be consequences. He could not get away with murder. Yes, Barnes was a victim, but he lived. Tony's parents were dead and that was the bottom line.

So it went around and around in circles. The case was tried in the court of public opinion.

New York State decided to prosecute: the charge manslaughter. Barnes was found guilty. Tony, being a taxpayer in New York State had some sway with the judge sentencing Barnes. The meaning of Tony's plea was enhanced by the fact that Tony was so harmed by the defendant.

James Barnes was sentenced to 70 years in prison, 35 years for each murder. He was allowed to use his 70 years as a prisoner of war as time served. Case closed . . . for the moment.

The next big blow came when the United States Army announced it was proceeding with a court martial and dishonorable discharge of Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes. 

Tony flew into high gear. He flooded the news services with his idea that James Barnes/The Winter Soldier was made by the U.S. Army to succeed as a soldier, and because of these very skills, he was picked out, singled out, for the Nazi Super Soldier Program. Tony received his strongest public support on this issue. A staggering 72% of people in public poles said they did not want to see Barnes court martialed. The same amount saw Tony favorably, going to the mat for someone who had wronged him so severely. Most people supported Tony's goal of Bucky's recovery as a message to anyone who might think of taking American soldiers and messing them up in the future. Eventually, the army lost motivation. The Barnes case was shelved somewhere, buried in bureaucracy.

The whole process did take over a year. There were reports of copycat kindness. People made moves to forgive their transgressors. Revenge lost some of its appeal. It look like the concept of truth and reconciliation had become a fad. Tony's favorability rating ratings were so high that there was a backlash. Rumors flew around that the Justice Department and the FBI were trying to make a case against Tony for fraternizing with an alien. The military wanted Tony to turn over his time machine. Tony, recognizing a bigger battle on the horizon called Barnes on Dandalo's ship communicator.

"Hey, we have a disaster back here in the real world. I need your help."

"Funny you should say that. We need to come back. We were about to call for a lift."

****

Tony and Bruce waited at the time machine for the time travelers. Natalie, Steve and Bucky stepped through the time portal together as was mandatory. One year and a few weeks in 1963 had changed them, it had transformed them, and the transformation was staggering. They look like golden forest nymphs or pagan gods. They glowed. They were dressed in as little clothing as considered socially acceptable in the 1960s. They were tan. In fact, they were bronze, with pink areas on their cheekbones and shoulders, indicative of fresh sun exposure. All exposed hair had been bleached white by the sun. Their hair glistened and added to the glowing quality of their skin. Gone were bulky weight lifting muscles: they never entered a gym all year. Their muscles were sleek and firm and evenly developed like a cat.

Steve wore crisp white plaid shorts with a gray and green stripe and a jade green t-shirt with a KUKUI tree in white on the front with Sierra Club written below. His eyebrows and lashes were bleached blonde by the sun and his face was so bronze his blue eyes popped, and his toothy grin glowed brilliant white. No one bothered with a haircut. Steve had a nice shag going. 

Natalie wore a bikini and a mini sun dress of earth colors. The material of the dress was so sheer, the bikini showed through the fabric. She wore bracelets and necklaces of what looked like found objects from the sea. Her hair bleached out strawberry blonde was braided down one side of her shoulder. She carried a small fringed bag with a strap across her chest. The bag held the diamond encrusted choker Tony had given her a year ago. She wore no makeup. She has never held so much beauty on her. She radiated a healthy natural look.

Bucky's sun kissed brown hair had been twisted into braids or dreads that pulled back into a loosely coiled knot at the back of his head. The knot gave the impression that even a slight jarring would unleash his hair into a feral dance. His Bermuda shorts were lemon yellow with green palm trees, all faded out, washed out of color as if he was the fifth owner. They were topped by a plain white v-neck t-shirt two sizes too small. Taut brown skin with bleached out blond hair sparkled between the two.

The men were clean shaven which was not the style for the time unless you were a surfer – facial hair make sprays. Their eyes shined. Their faces shined like stars. They looked electrified. Tony and Bruce felt like moles that crawled out of a hole underground and were blinded by the sun light. They squinted. They were speechless.

"Is everyone feeling alright? Is anyone feeling any effects from the trip?" Banner came to and asked the time travelers. 

They all agreed they felt some vertigo that was subsiding. Barnes said he felt claustrophobic.

"We're never in a building," Nat laughed.

Overly casual, Buck sat on the nearest table. His sandals slipped off his feet and hit the floor with a snap. Everyone glanced at the noise, and watched as Buck flicked his toes around sending sand all over Tony's sterile floor. Natalie stood in front of him between his legs facing the others, their arms around each other. She turned to him, laid her hand on his chin and made eye contact with him.

"You okay, Angel?"

"I guess. Feels close in here . . . don't you feel it?"

"No."

When her hand breezed by his face he kissed it, her head by his, he kissed it. He kissed her cheek and her shoulder. He held her tight, and kissed the back of her head, her ear, and her neck. He left his head by her shoulder. She put her arms around his neck, kissed his chin and his cheek. No doubt they were sickening. Steve stood by and grinned like the proud owner of two adorable but miss-behaving puppies.

"So what's the disaster?" Buck came up for air.

Tony was not impressed by the display.

"You first."

"Nat?" Steve said.

"Well, this one here," Natalie grabbed Buck by the chin and shook it around a bit, "needs the BARF machine."

"It's really nothing."

"No now," she put both of her hands on his face. She attempted to move his mouth like a marionette to get the proper response. "Come on, now, say yes."

"It's a minor inconvenience is all," he took her hand away from his mouth. Smiling, she attacked his face again with her hands.

"Alright, alright," he laughed, "I might benefit from the BARF machine. Now, you tell the rest."

"We're pregnant." Natalie beamed, Steve beamed, Bucky not quite a beam.

"That's impossible," Bruce Banner said.

"That's what we thought," Natalie said.

"That's what they all say, right? Har, har, har," chuckled Steve.

"We have three theories on how this happened." Bucky's face was serious.

"I am on the edge of my seat." Tony crossed his arms across his chest.

"Don't bring up that third idea Angel, okay?" Nat whispered but everyone heard her anyway. 

Bucky smiled and teased her. "Well, the first idea is they messed up her surgery."

"That sounds likely but it doesn't explain why now. What's the second one?" Bruce crossed his arms over his chest too.

"The second idea came from Steve. Probably, maybe, something about what was done to us. The experiments? The enhancements?"

"That could be. And the last one?" Banners curiosity was peaked.

"Don't say it," Nat's voice took a serious edge. She put her hands over Bucky's mouth. She held his mouth closed as their hands played a little dance over the battlefield of his mouth.

"Don't. Don't," she said. 

His voice found a path through her fingers.

"The third idea was – critical mass," everyone laughed. Tony laughed loudest.

"You said it. You bastard." Their little dance of hands turned into a slapping contest as she slapped at his face and he tried to stop her.

"They could've thought that up on their own, Honey." Buck laughed and snickered along with the rest of the men.

"Quit laughing. Don't look at me. Don't talk to me. I'm a pregnant woman. Get that sticker off your face."

"Honey . . . " Buck whined, and Natalie huffed off down the hall.

"I need to examine you," Banner said as she shot by.

Buck rushed after her, not bothering to slip on his flip-flops.

"I need to examine you too." Banner said as Barnes flew out the door.

Steve, Tony and Bruce laughed and Steve glanced around the door well and listened.

"Seriously, it must be hard being a pregnant Avenger," Steve stuck his head around the corner again.

"Oh . . . it must be serious. He speaking to her in Russian."

"You guys look great. What have you been doing all year?" Bruce said.

"Surfing."

"Surfing?"

"Yeah, by accident, we fell into a great cover. When we went through the time portal, pop . . . I can tell you there is nothing out your back door in 1963. We walked south down the coast. The sun was setting so we built a fire, cozied up, and slept on the sand. Thank you, Tony, for the protein bars, man, and the survival blankets. 

"When the sun came out so did the surfers. Some youngsters teased Nat into trying it. She went out and came back another person. I went out later that day. It was like nothing I've ever done. Bucky had those fresh slashes on his chest, so he went the next day or two. In two weeks we were addicted. We surfed seven days a week, sun up to sundown. We followed the waves down the coast and around the circut. Around the world really, the whole deal: Raglan, New Zealand; Teahupoo, Tahiti; Mundaka, J. Bay, South Africa, Frigates, Fiji, everything. We competed. Natalie financed our whole endless summer with her winnings. She has your choker in her bag." Steve stuck his head out to check on Nat and Buck. 

"He's changed to French. Now that is a last resort."

"That's all you did was surf?"

"Oh, at night we'd go wherever the other surfers went. To clubs. To see bands. To see rock bands and dance. We'd have parties right on the beach with a fire and dance . . . We ate a lot of fish."

"Now, with all the sex the rabbits out in the hall we're having, what were you doing?"

Steve's face was open and relaxed. He slouched on a table top. His body posture was casual. He spoke without censoring his words, like a man used to speaking that way.

"Well, they slept on the beach in their sleeping bag. So, I had the van to myself. I'd just pick up a chick, a bird or a beach bunny usually . . . I mean, most nights."

"I need to examine you too."

"Why?"

Tony and Bruce rolled their eyes. They could not believe the change in the man.

Meanwhile, Natalie walked down the hall to a large window that overlooked the ocean. Buck right behind her.

"Can we skip down to the make up kissing?" Bucky pleaded. Natalie pulled away.

"You haven't kissed me in a whole hour. Just one little kiss? I'll argue with you the rest of the day. Just one? See how I suffer?"

She knew it was a mistake to look at him. She looked. She kissed. Only once, but that one kiss ended with flushed faces.

Steve glanced around the door frame again.

"They kissed. I know surfing sounds like a lot of fun but this is serious." Steve animated with gestures, "it was like a calling – for me it was like, all I had done physically my whole life was in preparation for this – for surfing. We're serious addicts. I am jonesin for a wave right now man."

It was hard for Tony and Bruce to judge how serious Steve was, he had changed so much. He was so open, without cynicism.

Bucky and Natalie started back, but stopped halfway down the hall. Buck's voice rumbled into the briefing room. Nat's voice tinkled away into thin air. 

"That's what this is about? You want to be treated like one of the guys?"

There was a pause for an inaudible reply.

"But guys think you girls say no 75% of the time."

Muffled response.

"Okay 50%."

Inaudible reply.

"You tell me no."

Natalie's voice did not carry down the hall.

"Yes you do."

Muffled reply.

"Well, you HAVE said no."

Silence.

"You've had to have said no to me sometime?"

Her reply was inaudible to Steve and the guys.

"Alright, alright, I can't think of a specific time you said no . . . not just right off the top of my head!"

Muffled reply.

"Yeah, okay, so you haven't said no, but they don't know that. They're gonna think you're like every other girl."

Again, Natalie's reply could not be understood.

"You want to be one of the guys? You want to be treated no different than one of the guys? Well, then, I'll tell you, you're gonna be teased. Guys are gonna tease. I'm teased. We're all teased."

Long silence for her reply.

"If that's true, you're just gonna have to take it. Just take it like a man."

Natalie and Bucky made it to the door where Steve stood . . . she balked. Bucky pulled at her. The guys looked stoic.

"Come on, Honey, look at these guys. They're your best friends. Let them in. They understand. They could be such a great support to you. They love you. Look at their faces."

Nat did look. She looked at the ridiculous smirks they all wore. Natalia Romanova laughed. The guys laughed with her. There was chitchat of congratulations. Natalie said she was so ecstatically happy, unbelievably happy. Bucky and Nat cuddled affectionately, and Buck said something like, 'it's not like we planned this.'

And Tony said: "Yeah. You don't take responsibility for anything. Do you?"

Bucky did not move. No one else moved either. The air was sucked out of the room. Only Natalie continued to talk. She had talked through the whole interaction between Buck and Tony.

Bucky felt an unfamiliar heat in his chest. Suddenly, he heard his heart beat in his ears. He saw metal appear through the human hologram on his cybernetic arm. He felt a surge of adrenaline, and his pupil's dilated all the way open. The heat expanded in his chest and flashed up both sides of his neck. He looked at his arm. It was all metal. His left hand involuntarily formed a fist.

"What's happening?" Astonished, Buck stared at his arm. "I'm not doing this."

"It's the fight or flight response we gave you for the arm. Just ride it out. It'll pass." Banner said.

"Goddamnit Tony, what did you say to him?" snapped Nat.

"This hasn't happened all year," Steve said.

Natalie took hold of the cybernetic arm. She tried to pry open the fist Buck made. Bucky's soft blue eyes were a thing of the past. His pupil's dilated so large, no blue remained. This black eyed creature fixed his razor sharp gaze on Tony and advanced a few steps. 

Natalie's open palm pressed against the middle of Buck's chest.   
"Whoa, cowboy. This doesn't have to be physical. Just say what you need to say."

Buck stared Tony down. "You had your chance to kill me. I won't give you another." Buck's deep voice reverberated throughout the room. He took another step toward Tony.

Natalie steeled her position in front of Barnes.

"Now, that's a threat. Can you come up with something else?"

Tony initiated his suit up protocol. Cap advanced to the scene.

"I'm gonna to rip your head off." Buck said in English but with a distinct Russian accent. He stared at Tony. His intent written all over his body posture, like tattoos. All the muscles of his body contracted.

"What the hell's going on?" Cap said to Banner. 

Captain America did not wait for an answer. He intervened and grasped Bucky's right arm. "You should keep those thoughts to yourself."

Bucky shoved back hard on Cap's chest.

"You won't stop me." Buck spoke to Cap but did not avert his gaze from the lock he had on Tony.

Natalie forced Buck to look at her.

"He doesn't recognize me!" she exclaimed.

"That's not Bucky." Cap yanked at Nat. She stumbled into his arms.

The black eyes of the Winter Soldier left Tony Stark and traveled up the wall behind him to the ceiling where he stared, fixated, like an aura or an oculogyric crisis. His mouth was open. He panted for air.

"Cease-fire." He said in Russian. "Holster your weapon." Again, in Russian.

"What's he saying?" Banner question.

"Halt! STOP!" Buck trembled. His eye lids fluttered. "Ah, Ah," he whimpered. "Jump?" Buck answered someone.

"I want everyone out of this room, now. This is a medical emergency. Everyone out. Out." Banner said with authority.

Tony, Steve and Natalia left the room.

Banner approached Barnes who did not protest or acknowledge Banner's presence in any way. Banner touched his back and looked into his face. He broke a vial of spirits of ammonia under Bucky's nose and watched. It worked. Buck jerked out of his fixed posture and relaxed his stare at the ceiling. He grasped Banner's hand that held the ammonia by his face and glanced around at Bruce. 

"Easy. Easy now." Bruce said.

"Huh?"

"It's okay. You're okay." Bruce placed Buck's hand over his heart, and pressed Buck's chest and back between his hands like a sandwich. Bucky breathed up against the pressure.

"It's okay. Just concentrate on your breath."

"I . . . " Buck mumbled. His metal arm stretched out mechanically. "Oh . . . " he said and shut his eyes.

"Can you come to the lab? You're okay."

"Natalie?"

"I'll send for her as soon as I get you straightened out." 

Buck put his metal hand over Banner's hand on his chest. 

"Right."

Bucky sprinted into the BARF room and threw himself on the gurney. When his head hit the sensor board emergent alarms sounded.

"Shit!" Banner said to himself. "He's gonna seize."

Buck laid in the fetal position. His metal hand in a fist on his knee. He relaxed his cybernetic hand, and made a fist over and over kneading the metal fingers into the flesh of his leg. His human hand covered his face. He gasped for air.

"Barnes, it's medically necessary I treat you for this." Buck nodded affirmative. Banner quickly started an IV, and the medication in bags dripped away in minutes. Bucky hid his face from Banner. He averted his eyes, panted and kneaded his metal fingers into his leg.

"Let me try something?"

Dr. Bruce Banner placed his palm on the back of Bucky's head, and his other palm between Buck's eyes on his forehead. He applied pressure. Banner felt vibrations from Buck's body. He held his pressure steady. His patient's breathing slowed. 

"It would help me treat you if I had your subjective account of what happened in there?"

"I'd rather have you rip off my fingernails."

"I know what you're feeling. I know what it feels like to lose control."

Buck glanced at Banner for a split second. Bruce lifted Buck's chin for a looksee. Bucky blinked his eyes rapidly and gazed to the left of Bruce and to the right of Bruce, anything to avoid direct eye contact.

"Come on. I'm your doctor." Bruce was gentle. 

With a few more flutters Bucky made eye contact with Bruce. His pupils were large but a small amount of blue beamed out around the black pupil. His metal fingers dug hard into the flesh of his leg.

"They look better . . . a little. Now, tell me?"

"I know Tony says things. I was prepared to make some smart remark. I wanted Natalie to go with you. I wanted to go with you," Bucky glanced at Banner. Bruce slid a stool to the bedside and relaxed into it. Bucky scrutinized the IV in his arm. He glanced at the tubing and the bag, and the liquids drip, drip, drip. One alarm beep stopped.

"Please, don't hold anything back."

Bucky covered his face with his hand.

"I was going to laugh it off, but I went into a RAGE." He said rage so loud, the alarm that ceased, sounded again.

"Come on Buck."

"Well, I heard . . . " Buck stopped, listened and looked at his cybernetic arm.

"You heard?"

"My arm's making noises." He held up his metal arm and glanced at Banner.

"What kind of noises?"

"Mechanical noises and other noises . . . like it's thinking."

"How longs that been going on?"

"About a week but all day today. That's another reason we wanted to come back – "

Banner cut him off. "I'll do an all systems diagnostic." 

Bruce got the message loud and clear. Bucky did not get in the shape he was in from some offhand comment Tony made. This kind of thing needed to be built over time. Banner glanced at the hole Buck was churning into his leg with his metal fingers. The site turned blue, purple and oozed a pink liquid. 

"Now." Banner approached Barnes. 

"What?"

"I'll take the arm . . . now." Banner disconnected Bucky's cybernetic arm at the shoulder.

"Ah!" Buck exclaimed as Banner abruptly snapped his arm off.

Banner laid the arm on the bed by Buck's leg. 

Buck cringed when the arm made a series of jerks and twitches as it shut itself down into stillness and silence. Buck was visibly relieved, relaxed his body and sunk into the soft cushion of the gurney.

"Go on."

"I thought my arm was making some new noise but then I realized it was gunfire. I couldn't deny it. I heard gunfire," Buck blurted out, "off in the distance. It got louder and closer. It was gun fire."

Banner increased the drip of the IV. A few minutes passed. Two alarms stopped. Bulky rolled to his back, placed his human palm between his eyes and applied pressure, pushing his head into the firm mat.

"I can't tell you how good that feels," Buck said.

"Tell me the rest."

Bucky looked at the ceiling. "It was like I watched from high up in the room." He looked at his hand. He shut his eyes. "He meant what he said to Tony. He would've carried out his threat. Steve couldn't have stopped him. Nothing would've stopped him. The gunfire was so close. No more, please, no more. Then someone said jump," Bucky glanced at Bruce, "I did. I jumped from a great height. I thought Tony grabbed my ankle. I realized it was my tether, my leash. I hit the water. I felt my board break when it hit. Then I hit bottom." Bucky relaxed his arm to his side. One alarm remained. He looked straight up at the ceiling. "I've been down there before. I always like it down there. It's like . . . peace." The last alarm ceased.

"Bucky, who told you to jump?"

"God, I guess." Buck whispered half asleep.

"Is your arm making noises now?"

Buck looked at his cybernetic arm laying beside him. 

"Can't you hear it?" Buck shut his eyes and fell asleep.

Banner sat for a moment, expressionless. He touched Barnes on the forehead. He took the penlight out of his lab coat pocket and checked Buck's pupils again. Blue dominated the black pupil. Banner stared at nothing and attempted to digest Bucky's account. A small beep, beep alarm sounded.

Tony called out from the monitor room.

"Hey, Doc-tor, your pat-ients not breath-ing," Tony said in a singsong.

Banner slowed the IV and robotically turned on the O2, placed the bag mask over Bucky's face and slowly squeezed oxygen into him. He watched his chest rise and fall gracefully.

Tony spoke from the door. "A little overzealous with the joy juice in there?" 

Banner chuckled, pointed to the pulse oximeter of 100% and said, "Just shallow respirations for a moment." He returned to his expressionless stare and lost track of time until he heard Nat and Steve out by the monitor board. He picked up Bucky's arm and joined them.

"Is he alright?" Natalie questioned.

"He'll sleep all night now. Go in." 

As if anyone could stop her.

Bucky's body curled around itself. His hair, free long ago from the knot, fell over his face. Natalie smoothed the hair from his face and kissed his forehead. He stirred and she backed out of the room.

"What was that?" Cap asked. 

"I'll have an answer for you in the morning. I'm running tests. Jarvis is collating. I need information from you two about the last year's events. Any illnesses, especially mental illness, medications, especially psychoactive medications, injuries, especially head injuries, infections, especially high fevers, drug use, stress of any kind? I know he's under severe stress but anything else going on I don't know about?"

"He almost kills himself every day on the waves he's so reckless. He's probably has a concussion daily," Cap thought . . . "He's always mental . . . but nothin' like in there."

"He's totally freaked out over this pregnancy," Natalie added.  
"Um . . . he took LSD."

"What? When?" 

"About three weeks ago," Natalie said.

"Off the street?"

"No, of course not. He went to Timothy Leary."

"Buck took LSD from Timothy Leary? He took LSD 25?"

"Yeah, it was Leary's personal supply, I think," Nat said.

"Yes, it was LSD 25, I saw it. I read all about it," Steve added.

"Now, would you two please, kindly sit down here, make yourselves comfortable and tell me the whole damn story," Bruce crossed his arms over his chest.

The whole damn story went like this:

****

"Hey, Boss," said the bodyguard, "this is the third day the same guy's on the front porch. He insists on an audience with you, his words. He said he's not going away. Says his name is James Barnes gives his occupation as surfer."

"Not another drug crazed hippie?"

"Doesn't look like a hippie, Boss. He's buff, man, and tan. Looks like he's been living outdoors though. Could be a beach bum. Could be a surfer – no beard."

"Yeah, some of those surfer dudes get radical out there on the waves. James Barnes, James Barnes, sounds familiar. Well, let's take a look at him. Show him in."

Bucky did not stop to look the room over, he walked directly to Timothy Leary, and offered his hand, which was not clean.

"James Barnes, sir."

Tim shook and offered a chair. Tim walked around the desk and sat on the corner, his arms across his chest. He did his ten second size up.

Timothy Leary was noted for, was famous for, his 10 second size up. He was so good at it he published papers on the subject. Probability he would, overtime, be proven incorrect was less than 7%. Tim would later dictate the following to add to his statistics. James Barnes: here we have a serious, sane, sober, very unkept gentleman in considerable mental pain.

Bucky was dirty. His hair was dirty, uncombed, half in a knot on the back of his head, half hanging down samurai style. His clothes were dirty. He was odiferous.

"Are you homeless son?"

"We have a van. I have a sleeping bag on the beach – if that's homeless – then I am, but I've been on your porch three days."

"Sorry about that. You can imagine what kind of craziness shows up on my front porch."

"I saw some of them."

"I was about to order lunch. Can I interest you in joining me?"

Bucky glanced at the clock on the wall, 10 AM it read, he smiled and said, "Yes, that's very kind of you, thank you."

"Now, what can I do for you?" Timothy Leary fiddled with some papers on his desk.

Tim's bodyguard brought a tray with a pot of hot tea, cream and sugar - the whole set up. Buck made a cup with lots of cream and lots of sugar. It was the best thing he ever tasted.

"I think you may be able to help me. I've read some of the studies you did at Harvard with prisoners. I was a prisoner," Buck paused for a breath and continued, "a prisoner of war," he stopped again. It seemed too harsh to drop it all, to blurt it all out.

"It's alright." Tim observed James Barnes as only Timothy Leary could look at someone – right into the soul. "Just go right to the center. Right to the core."

Buck took a deep breath. "I was a sergeant. I was captured. I was tortured, of course. But they used . . . I was used for medical experiments, medical torture, medical interrogation, human experimentation, of all kinds. Hypothermia, isolation chambers, suspended animation. Various other things, psychological torture. I was given drugs. I was brainwashed, memories extracted, memories implanted. They tried drugs to brainwash me at first, later they use devices and different machines . . . " 

Buck broke off. He waited and watched for disbelief or horror that would make Tim emotionally pull back. He saw none. Bucky continued carefully. He walked a fine line. He wanted Tim to know his situation was dire, but he did not want to be rejected for sounding insane. But his story was insane; it sounded insane even to him.

"I was programmed in someway and forced to do unspeakable things, heinous acts, assassinations, killings, many times over many years. When my captors were attacked by a third-party I escaped. I had significant memory gaps, amnesia really. After a time the brainwashing leaked, and I had flashes of memories of these acts and other things real or not real at any time, day or night."

"Are you having problems sleeping?"

"I did. In sleep I would recall the acts, and I would wake abruptly. I had work done in that area. I don't think it's an issue now. I sleep fairly well."

"Who did the work?"

"I was at the Solaris Research Facility."

"Where is that?"

"Here in California."

"I don't know it."

"It's private. Over the last year I've done nothing but surf, be with my girlfriend, and eat fish." Bucky smiled. "I've bathed my brain constantly in the best feel good neurochemicals the human body can produce, and still this dominates me, it taxes me, it wears on me. It's like a ball of lead in my brain that I can't make any smaller or any lighter or jar loose in any way," he shook his head quickly and slapped his head with the palm of his hand.

"Oh, I function alright – surfing all day and sleeping in a sleeping bag on the beach with my girlfriend. About a week ago my girlfriend and my best friend, another surfer who lives with us, confronted me about my reckless surfing. I've had many accidents," Bucky made parenthesis with his fingers, "many near drownings; more than they know." Bucky rolled his eyes. "The last incident, I injured a novice with my recklessness. My friends say I've crossed the line. They say I'm a danger to myself and to others."

"What do you think I can do for you?"

"I need to look at what happened to me from a different angle – from a different perspective. I need to push past this – somehow clear a place so my life can move on."

"And do what?"

"I don't think surfing is a lifestyle. I know some people do but I do not. I want to function well enough to make up, somehow, for the damage I've done. To hold a job. To have a family, a home, be a father, to be a husband. I want to fit into society. To be of use instead of a drain, which is what I am. My girlfriend and best friend have surfed with me all year. Their lives have stopped to help me through this. My girlfriend deserves better than a sleeping bag on the beach."

"They sound like truly loving friends. You're lucky to have them, but we are not going to concern ourselves with them right now or be defined by their reality."

"You mean you're taking me on?"

"Yes, I think I can help you."

Lunch arrived. Buck ate slowly with manners, even-though, he wanted to cram the whole turkey sandwich into his mouth and swallow it without chewing. 

Bucky was not half bad at sizing people up himself. As he ate he took stock of the famous psychologist. Tim seemed deep in thought.

"Well, what do you think of me?" Tim said.

"You're a mind reader," Bucky laughed, "hearing my story out loud just now I wouldn't have believed it, but I think you do believe me – but I think there's a but, isn't there?"

"I do believe you. There is a but. The technology needed for . . . "

"I can assure you –" Buck stoped talking abruptly.

Tim stared at Bucky, he knew somehow the store was closed. "You're not going to tell me anymore are you?"

"No, I'm not . . . I cannot. I said too much . . . I wanted to confess . . . to unload, I guess . . . to get rid of it."

"That happens a lot. Don't worry about it. I'm confidential." Tim rubbed his head. "You wouldn't happen to have any physical evidence to support your far out story?"

Bucky handled the unusual looking salt shaker on his lunch tray, held it at different angles and studied it as Tim spoke. The shaker was blown glass, handmade, unique in form and aqua in color.

"That's quite an interesting problem. Physical evidence?" Buck continued to examine the shaker. He turned it over to look at the bottom and salt poured out - spilled out. Shocked, he quickly righted it. He picked up a pinch of salt and threw it over his shoulder. As his left hand passed his face his attention followed. He flicked the salt from his fingers.

"Alright," Bucky said. He turned the human hologram for his cybernetic arm off to expose it's true metal appearance. He waved his metal hand slowly, gracefully. He presented his arm, palm up, for Tim to look over. For added effect he activated the EMP just a bit, just enough to cause a 3 inch arc of light to shoot from the palm and dance around. With his steel blue eyes and deadly stare he looked over the top of his cybernetic hand and across the table at the astonished Timothy Leary.

"You can touch it if you like, examine it."

Tim's mouth was open wide. He came around the desk and did just that. He touched the metal. He ran his hand up and down the arm, flexed the wrist, folded the fingers, and unfolded the fingers, pushed up Bucky's shirt sleeve, and saw how the arm was connected to his body. He threw out adjectives: amazing, elegant, unbelievable, supple.

"How do you activate it?"

"I can't. I'm not going to . . . "

" . . . To answer any more questions?" Tim finished the sentence for him.

"I know. You're right. I can see that this is distressing to you. You're not here to satisfy my curiosity. Son, you have shocked me to my marrow. I probably won't sleep a wink tonight, and I LOVE IT! Can you stay here?"

Bucky turned the hologram back on his arm.

"Whoa? Wow!" Tim said at the sight of Bucky's arm change again to look exactly like his human arm.

"I can stay."

"Can you take a massive amount, a barrage of psychological tests for me, before and after dosing?"

"I'd love to."

"I should have you out of here in a week. We stay up late around here and sleep in. I should caution you - I've been arrested probably 20 times over the last three years, so staying here - anything can happen."

"Thanks for the warning." Buck gave Tim a big smile. He was struck by how sweet Tim was, warning a mass murderer and assassin, that the police may come to the house and look for drugs that are not even illegal in 1963.

"Can your friends come if needed?"

"Is that customary?"

"Not mandatory, but nice if I could talk to them once. When you are coming down it's nice to see a loved one. It can sometimes be a profound experience - an opportunity you may not want to miss."

"They would come no doubt. They may show up without being asked."

Tim opened the door to reveal his bodyguard had stood on the other side of the door the whole interview.

"Give Mr. Barnes the bedroom with bath." Tim emphasized the word bath. Bucky laughed out loud.

"I'll send up a change of clothing. I'll call you for the real lunch." Both men smiled.

Three days later Bucky heard the van pull up in front of Tim's house. He raced for the door, Timothy Leary right behind him. The van's door flew open, and Natalie ran, Bucky ran to each other. They hugged and kissed and repeated the same multiple times. Steve watched on with a smile. Tim watched and shook his head at their child like exuberance for each other.

"Why don't you show your girlfriend your room? Give me a chance to talk to your friend."

"Honey, I'd like you to meet Timothy Leary, mindreader." 

Natalie shook his hand, "Hello, there."

"And my other partner Ace."

"Nice to meet you sir."

Buck pulled Natalie along. They ran up the steps, Bucky, two steps at a time. He opened the bedroom door with a bang and jumped on the bed. He scooted to one side and patted the top of the mattress with his hand. A broad grin spread across his face. 

"What a nice room – and a bed – and look at you," she jumped on him, "your hair," both hands ran through his hair, "your hair is so silky!" she exclaimed.

"I washed it three times." He said with pride. He relaxed on the bed.

Natalie kissed his hair.

"Breck shampoo . . . smells so good. And look at you . . . you're so . . . you're so . . . clean." She slid down his chest kissing spots along the way. She put her face on his chest and smelled his shirt. 

"TIDE," she said, "Um, um, good."

She picked up his shirt and ran her face over the skin of his abdomen. She licked and smelled and tickled him.

"DIAL SOAP," she said.

She clasped her knees to his hips and sat on his lap. His arms moved into the surrender position. Her hands rippled over his abs. She slid her hands up his lats, to cup his pecs with her hands. She spread her hands slowly across them.

"Ah," she moaned. She slid her hands across his chest to his shoulders. She held him down with one hand on his chest, pushed his shirt up, kissed him on his abdomen, and worked her way up his chest, she lingered at the pecs. This is where she sat up and slowed down. She fell on to him. She kissed his neck and worked her way up to his lips. She kissed him on the mouth.

"PEPSODENT," she relished the Pepsodent kiss and kissed him again,  
"PEPSODENT,"  
"PEPSODENT,"  
"PEPSODENT," she whispered.   
Each Pepsodent kiss was longer than the one before. 

Done playing around, Buck abruptly traded places with her and kissed her romantically.

"Being without you was like death." He nuzzled her neck, kissed it, and breathed out his passion upon it. He tasted and smelled her skin.

"FISH," he frowned with a sour face.

"UGG," she pushed him off her with, a kick, a shove and a laugh. She jumped off the bed.

"Where's the bathtub?"

Buck pointed and jumped out after her.

"I wanna wash your hair."

They were loud and banged around like people not used to being indoors.

Downstairs in the office, Timothy Leary was giving Captain American the 10 second size up.

"Are you guys vampires?" Timothy asked in all seriousness.

"NO." Cap said with a laugh.

"Because I've never seen anything like you man."

From Tim's point of view they look like another race altogether: aliens, mythical gods, androids, uberhumans - something. Timothy was flat out fascinated.

They heard a big bang and commotion from upstairs. Natalie screamed.

"Get off me! Stop it, that hurts," followed by another loud scream.

Cap and Tim reacted badly for a moment until they heard bath water shoot out the faucet, laughter, and a door slam.

"James is obsessed with the bathtub."

"No doubt. The last time we stayed in a hotel was two months ago," Cap went right to the chase, "I'm guessing JAMES was compelled to tell you the truth?"

"I don't accept anyone if I feel they are not truthful."

"Since you are a professional, I suppose I don't have to tell you how confidential what he told you is, and how dangerous . . . "

"I understand your concern. I can see you're protective of your friend and that's a beautiful thing, man, really, but under no circumstances can I discuss what he said with anyone. That includes you."

"I see, well, ah good, that sounds good," Cap was happy to hear a serious professional under all the folderol.

"Are you aliens?" Timothy smiled.

"NO."

"If I guess right will you tell me?"

"No."

"You guys must use the same decorator. I know you're here to support your friend. I'm here to tell you how you can do that."

"Yes, I want to understand and help if I can."

"I will give you an overview. Tomorrow James will take LSD. I will be with him for around six hours maybe more depending on my assessment of him. When he's coming down - "

"Down from where?"

"The trip."

"Where's he going?"

"With this type of LSD at the dose he will have tomorrow, 100% of the time guaranteed, he will get off the level of consciousness he is on, the one he lives on, the one he's used to, and he will move to another level of consciousness. From that place he can see his life, life in general, the world – the universe – in a way not possible from the level he is on now; the level that has been dominated by others."

"What do you mean?"

"Most of our lives, most of us live in realities determined by others, imprinted on our brain by education, religion, politics, and by authorities. Tomorrow he will experience another type of reality. He will not be living his life, he will experience being alive. From this place he can make adjustments to his thinking, his ideas or beliefs. Not intellectually or emotionally but experiencially. What his subjective experience will be, can range from mildly pleasant, scary, or profound. It's individual. In any case, he will not be harmed by the experience. Drinking a bottle of tequila would be 10 times more harmful. If you have heard anything to the contrary it's simply propaganda. No one who has any skin in this game of life wants you to transcend the reality they have taken such great pains to create for you. When I'm sure he's coming down, I'll turn him over to you and Honey. This period can last another six hours or more and is quite lovely and insightful in and of itself. Do not lead him by suggestion or questioning. Do not judge by body language or tone of voice. If you can't do this just pass on seeing him – no problem. Please don't feel pressured if you don't believe in what he's trying to do. I know it's a big learning curve, but what are your thoughts so far?"

"I see his struggle. I know he's desperate. I look at him, and I see a man standing on a cliff. Every time he takes his board out, it crosses my mind that I won't see him again," Steve stopped talking. He shook his head and continued, "no, it's more than that. He was honest. I want to be honest. That was almost a white wash. When I look at him, I think he'd like to get a gun and blow his brains out, all over that nice wall of yours, behind me. That's what I see. He won't say it – he won't do it - but that's the god's honest truth of how I feel. So, if he thinks he can get a different take on it, or get some relief, or if somehow this treatment will lighten his load in some way, and it sounds like it may, I'll do everything you suggest."

"Yes, of course. You're a good friend son. The goal is to lighten, enlightenment for sure. We're solid. Now, are there any issues or stresses of late, that you have seen, that maybe he doesn't see? In the sessions things denied, ignored, or forgotten tend to come up to the surface. What may come up tomorrow that he may have not told me about?"

"Besides the pregnancy?"

"Honey is pregnant?"

Cap rolled his eyes and used his hands to express himself. "Really, I'm not surprised he didn't tell you – he's flipped out, this wasn't even a remote possibility."

"WOW, I'd like to talk to Honey tonight. How long does this, ah, upstairs usually take?" Tim said with a smile.

Cap smiled too, "minimum five hours, maximum five days."

"Hmm," Tim rubbed his chin, "you know, James has been eating regular meals here for about four days - no fish. I'd wager you a bet that he will be in the dining room for dinner."

"That's quite a bet. I'll take that bet," Steve loved this guy.

"Can you stay here? I have one more bedroom."

"I'd love to. Do you have any reading material about this LSD? This treatment?"

"I have just the stuff. Here you go, dinner at 8."

Steve walked into the dining room a little before 8pm. Natalie and Bucky sat in the same chair at the foot of a great table. She straddled his lap. He held her with his cybernetic arm up her back and stroked her face, neck and hair with his human hand: their chests pressed together, their faces an inch apart. Her arms wrapped around him. One hand slipped up and down the nape of his neck. She circled her fingers with his silky hair. They both wore sly smiles as they gazed into each others shining eyes. They made a pretty picture. A picture Steve messed up upon entering the room. He rubbed them both on the back, and cupped the back of their heads as they looked up at him. Steve could not help smiling at how they glowed. It was infectious. He felt the glow rush up his hands to his face. Natalie made a move to stand. Bucky moaned at her departure and yanked her back.

"What possessed you to give your real name?" Steve whispered.

Buck waved him off and motioned for silence. He flew into action, jumped from his chair, grabbed Steve and pulled him out the front door. Tim intercepted Nat at the front door and took her into his office for their chat. 

Steve and Bucky walked on the sidewalk in the cool California night.

"He's being surveilled by the FBI. I think the house is bugged," Buck confessed.

"Why?"

"The drug."

"It's not illegal."

"They fear it anyway."

Steve rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, I know. I didn't know when I gave my real name. I couldn't lie, Steve, he would have known and rejected me. Anyway, Captain America and Bucky have long been forgotten. Sad but true. No one would believe it anyway."

"Yeah, we could end up in a psychiatric ward."

"Yeah, I'd wind-up there, you wouldn't." Buck scanned up and down the street.

"And that would probably do you some good," Steve and Bucky laughed finished the block and returned to the dining room and dinner.

The next morning Nat and Cap lounged around Tim's office. They could see Tim and Bucky out the windows of the French doors that led to an outdoor patio and garden. 

Tim equipped the patio with benches and chairs, various plants and greenery: a bird feeder, a record player, and a stack of vinyl albums. There was a 5 gallon water bottle on a stand with a spout and little fold up white paper cups in a dispenser. Beyond the patio was a small fenced in wooded area: not landscape but wild. It was the kind of day see you in Maui, but rarely ever in the Bay Area. 

Steve was the most anticipatory of a whole lot. He did not take his eyes off Barnes, and he expected him to turn colors, or melt at any moment. Tim's patio chairs were Adirondack chairs, white, wooden and slatted, like the kind you find on the East Coast. They were pointed out to the trees and there is where Bucky sat. His left arm fell over the armrest and laid in the grass. He had not moved much in two hours. Occasionally, Steve saw Buck shield his right arm over his eyes. This did no good, Buck still hallucinated like a son of a bitch. 

Buck's cybernetic arm seemed an area of intense interest. Even though the arm appeared human with the hologram intact, Buck frequently touched it with his human hand. He touched the arm where it connected to his flesh. He studied his cybernetic hand, held it close to his face, and he turned it over slowly before his eyes like he had never seen it before, or could not figure why he could not feel it. At one point he did not move at all for an hour. 

A light rain fell, a common occurrence in the afternoon. Buck watched, felt and tasted the raindrops as they fell on his bare skin, his lips and his upturned face. The rain fell hard for an hour. Barnes stood in the rain, under the trees and watched the dark clouds. As the clouds receded and cleared, a double rainbow was seen for a short time. Tim thought what a lucky bastard Bucky was. 

Buck and Tim wandered into the wooded area and disappeared from sight for hours. The sun was low in the sky when Tim came in the French doors.

"He did fine. He's all yours," Tim said to Natalie and Steve. Immediately Natalie went out the doors, Tim call after her, "he's in the woods, somewhere," and then to Steve, "you can go also." Tim went to his desk to organize his notes.

Steve sat in Bucky's beach chair and waited. Tim came out of the house loaded down with food and drinks. He started a fire in the fire pit. Tim played record after record, cleaning the each album carefully with a felt bar before setting the record gently on the turntable. He touched the records only by the edges, careful not to fingerprint the vinyl. Tim used all his powerful focus and as if the world slowed to a halt and stopped spinning altogether, he gently, carefully, exactly, dropped the needle down. Most of the records Tim spun that night - he knew the artists personally. 

Cold night air drove the lovers out of the woods and to the fire. Steve vacated Buck's chair and took another. Bucky and Nat cozied in one chair. He sat with his leg over the arm of the chair and leaned in to the other arm. Natalie sat between his legs. 

Tim sat on a stool by Buck and handed him a glass of water. Buck stared at the clear glass and the water inside. He splashed the water up against the side of the glass, and studied the water as if it was the very liquid from which life sprang 40 billion years ago. A thin blue rim could be seen around his dilated pupils. Tim coached and pushed the glass to Buck's lips, tipped the glass, and forced him to drink. Getting the idea Buck drank the rest of the water unaided. 

Tim handed him a bowl of strawberries. Bucky was fascinated, and examined the strawberries as if he was trying to guess their molecular weight. Tim shook his head and popped a strawberry into Bucky's mouth. An ecstatic look crossed his face as he tasted the berry. He rested his head on the back of the chair and opened his mouth for another. Tim laughed and fed more strawberries. Bucky's huge pupiled eyes followed Tim like he was a god of some kind placing the very stars from heaven on his tongue. 

Steve was moved by this scene in some way he could not identify, moved emotionally or spiritually. Tim tired of feeding the little bird, passed the bowl to Natalie and walked to the fire pit. Instead of exploring his feeling's Steve said to Tim:

"Is he going to have to be fed like that the rest of his life?"

Tim laughed and reassured Steve that Barnes was A-Okay; progressing normally through all the stages of virtually being out of his mind. 

The records popped, the fire crackled and characters of every type came, and went around Timothy Leary's fire pit that night. Some visitors brought marijuana in pipes, or rolled into cigarettes, and passed them around, which no Avenger took. Alcohol was served in different kinds, and amounts, and no Avenger drank. Tim's bodyguard brought a steady stream of various types of food from the kitchen, and no Avenger ate. 

The party started to break up around 1am. Most people had gone by 2am. Bucky was the last person to step through the French doors. He stopped when the blast of indoor air hit him. He would go no further. He said it was 'unnatural'. This was the only word Steve heard him say all day. He would not go in. He simply could not go in to the house. Natalie got their sleeping bag from the van, and put a few more logs on the fire, and they settled in. Steve shook his head and went to bed.

When Barnes entered the kitchen the next morning, if twelve noon is morning, only Tim sat at the table with his coffee and the San Francisco papers.

"Hey, you must be hungry, man?"

Bucky nodded, "starved."

"I know it's after noon but he'll make you anything you want. What's your favorite meal?"

"Really? Bacon, eggs, toast and coffee." That's what Bucky Barnes always answered - in 1940. He took in the scene. White linen tablecloth. Newspapers. Cups and saucers. A bowel with sugar cubes. The weird salt and pepper shakers. A tiny pitcher of cream on the table. Crystal butter dish with an angled butter knife. A radio played in the distance. It all seemed right. Tim rustled the newspaper and asked:

"You got it – how many eggs?"

"How many do you have? I don't wanna eat 'em all." Buck had not fully reconstituted - as far as time warps go.

Tim hesitated a second on that. This was an odd statement for James to make. Tim's thinking so far had run where are these people from? This is the first time he thought when are they from. There had been no egg rationing or shortage in America since . . . World War II. Tim called to his bodyguard:

"How many eggs do we have?"

"What? 5–6 dozen."

"How and how many?"

"Wow," Bucky said. "4 over easy."

"You hear that? Your tests are on the table on my desk. Whenever. I have some errands to run. Take your time."

Timothy Leary did not make eye contact with Bucky as he went out the door. Buck felt nervous for a second. He flipped through Tim's newspapers on the table, picked out the funnies and forgot about it. The security guard brought a pitcher of orange juice.

That evening Natalie, Steve, Bucky and Tim sat around the fire in Tim's backyard to watch the sunset. This was the first chance they had to talk intimately about Bucky's experience.

"You looked scared to me." Steve said.

"I was. I felt I died. I opened my mouth. No air moved in or out. It was like I was underwater. I had no heartbeat. I panicked and I died. A few minutes later I knew I didn't need to breathe or have a heartbeat to live. I really did feel like I was underwater . . . No, it was real, the atmosphere and how it's all connected. It's like a cocoon we all live in. It sounds way out, but I saw that all things are connected. I literally saw the connections; one molecule touching the next . . . I saw things that are not true."

"So, what's not true?"

"Almost everything is not true," Bucky laughed, "everything, buying shit, selling shit, ownership, property, money, war, boundaries, nations, race, religion, royalty."

"So, what's true?"

"There was one thing that I want to tell you both. One thing, one truth that dominated the whole day," Buck grabbed Natalie as she walked by, and held her in front of him. He looked up at her. Natalie touched him. Steve held his breath to hear the secret of the universe. Buck bit his bottom lip and spoke.

"I'm pregnant," Bucky said, "I felt the child alive in me. I felt it move in me. I felt it's heartbeat. I can feel it now. It's mine. I want it. I want it more than I've ever wanted anything. I want to see it's face. I want to hold it. I love it. I love it. I love the baby." He pressed his face to her to chest and they embraced. Natalie was overcome with emotion. She kissed his head, forehead and face. He was emotional as well. Tim went to them and congratulated them.

Steve was swept up in the emotion of the moment and paused to enjoy the moment. But then he said:

"Thanks a lot, Tim. He was halfway nuts when he came here, now he's all the way nuts." 

As they were leaving James Barnes was the last out the door. He did not know how to say goodbye to Timothy. He did not know how to thank him properly.

"I hope we . . . I'll never forget you," he said to Tim.

"I hope to see you again, BUCKY." 

Buck stopped his trek down the sidewalk. His heart fell.   
"What gave me away?"

Tim did not answer; he was too shocked to learn his guess was correct.

"It was the eggs, wasn't it?" Bucky said.

"Yes."

Bucky shook his head. He stared at his feet.

"Listen son, you made a mistake. You made a mistake because you were relaxed with me," Buck glanced at Tim, "you were off your guard with me because you had the good judgment and instinct to know I was someone you could trust."

Buck glanced at the van with Natalie and Steve all comfortable inside. 

"And you CAN trust me. To the death of me. You can trust me."

Bucky grabbed Tim. He hugged and kissed him like hippie men greeted each other, like Buck saw many times, but never tried. Steve started the van. Tim held Bucky's arm.

"I hope we do meet again . . . somehow."

"So do I. Tim, thank you." Bucky bound down the sidewalk. 

Tim called after him, "take care man."

The side door of the van slid open, and Bucky jumped in the back. Honey turned from the passenger seat to speak to him as Steve jerked the van's stick shift forward, throwing her into Bucky's waiting arms. He fell with her onto the blanket on the floor of the van. Steve jerked the van down the street as the side door slammed shut. All three Avengers laughed out loud.

Tim stood in the street in front of his house and waved goodbye to the time travelers. A shiver crossed his body when he acknowledged the words time traveler. He stood with his arm raised above his head until the van rolled out of sight.

****

"Well, Bruce, there you have it. That's the story. During the weeks that followed he spoke of his experience often and with continued insight. You'll have to talk to him about his trip – fascinating stuff – really," Steve stood to stretch, "you don't think LSD could have caused what happened today do you?"

"I don't know yet. What's this about his cybernetic arm making noises?"

"He started complaining about a week ago." Natalie said.

"Did you hear any noises?"

"No. He said it was on the inside somehow . . . whatever that means. That all sounded kooky to us." 

"I'll do a diagnostic on the arm like, now." Bruce looked at the arm laying on the desk and shrugged his shoulders. He glanced at the monitor as Bucky's vital signs rolled by. Bruce saw by the brain waves that Bucky was dreaming, probably some routine, horrific dream that was his life. A rustling noise came from the sensory room and an odd vocalization.

"When did his sleep disturbance start again?"

"Oh, five or six weeks ago," Natalie estimated.

"He's dreaming now," Banner said.

"I'm going in to sleep with him," Natalie headed in.

"But?" Banner raising a finger.

"Wait!" Cap raised his whole hand.

Natalie replied curtly, "you'll have to kill me to stop me," and she was serious, "you've been pumping drugs into him for two hours. I think I'll be fine." As she passed the table she ran her hand over Buck's cybernetic arm as if it was his human flesh. 

"It's medication," whispered Dr. Banner. 

Stealthfully, she entered the sensory room to check out her lover. The BARF sensor room was cool and dimly lit. He laid on the gurney with his head on the sensor mat, injected electrodes forever under the skin of his scalp. The oxygen was on, and flowed with a hissing sound. His IV stuck in his arm, dripped in the medication. He was attached to machines, stuck like a bug on some flypaper. He looked odd without his arm.

She touched the hem of his faded yellow shorts and pressed the material between her fingers. She saw his white t-shirt ride up his abdomen. Small flecks of sand glistened on his bare feet and legs. She saw him, in her mind's eye, on the beach, shirtless, virile, his brown skin bathed in sunlight, the sea breeze blowing his shinning hair. His brilliant smile and bright blue eyes flashed in the sun as he pushed the hair out of his face and dug his surfboard into the sand. The waves pounding out their beat behind him. Could that image have been just three hours ago? Tears welled in her eyes, she fought them, and planned his kidnapping. Her hand brushed her belly. She would get him out of this . . . in time.

His eyeballs fluttered under his eyelids. Only a small movement of his organic hand, a twitch of his toes and some muscle contraction, could be seen in a body paralyzed in a dream. Paralyzed and aroused simultaneously – all his muscles were engorged with red blood. She had seen this many times before. He mumbled and moaned and made small noises that did not sound like language. 

She stacked her bag, dress, and jewelry on the chair. She unbraided her hair and slid her bikinied body in beside him. Her hand slid up his shirt to his back and she urged his bare belly to touch hers. His skin was hot; his face flushed. She rubbed her face next to the soft skin of his face. She ran her fingers in his silky hair and massaged his scalp. She whispered in his ear, "baby, baby, baby." He instinctively pulled her closer to him. Banner saw the end of the dream before Natalie felt him relax.

"Jesus Christ – she's like a drug to him." Banner noted as delta waves dominated Bucky's EEG pattern.

She could fall asleep at last. 

In the morning she woke to the sounds of voices outside the door. She slipped out of his grasp, slid into her dress and joined Steve and Bruce at the monitor board.

"What the hell are we supposed to do with him?" Steve had a worried look on his face.

Tony appeared behind the crew. His arms were folded over his chest. Perfect posture. He was not a tall man but he had the presence of a giant.

"We're not going to do anything," Tony said with purpose, "he's gonna do whatever he decides to do."

"But yesterday – that was not Bucky – that was not even his voice. We all know who it was. How's that even possible?"

Tony cut Steve off. "Okay, yesterday. Banner you're the doctor around here what's your professional opinion of what we witnessed yesterday?"

"I'm not a shrink. It could be anything."

"Just throw out some possibilities."

"You want it plain or technical?"

"Plain. Plain." Steve said.

"Just get to the verbs." Tony said. Impatient as always.

"Alright – in order of severity – A reaction from time travel, he said he felt claustrophobic. An outbreak of anxiety. A panic attack. PTSD? A paranoid reaction. A flashback of some sort. A disassociative reaction, or a psychotic break."

"What's your best guess?"

"Well, I'd chop both ends off. Probably something in the middle. Probably PTSD flashback."

"Is he dangerous?" Tony asked. 

"Is he dangerous? You've armed him like a colossus. Hell yes, he's dangerous. He's armed and dangerous and goofy in the head." Banner gave a glance at the monitor, "and he's awake." The microphone was open and Banner snapped it closed. "He heard everything I just said."

"Good. I want everyone to hear. Jarvis?"

"I'm here sir."

Tony flipped the microphone open and said, "Starting now, James Barnes is to have no restrictions. He is to have full and open access to anything in this building. As of this moment he has a top secret security clearance. Full access to all computer data, the accessory closet, the weapons room, the time machine, and the front door should he choose to leave. And give the man back his arm." Tony flipped the mic off, "let's see what he does." Tony walked away.

Natalie poked Tony in the chest. "You asshole, for once you're right, but you need to come up with an explanation for your behavior yesterday."

"I will do no such thing." Tony headed out of the area.

"I need a moment." Banner followed Tony down the hall.

"Frankly, I think they're all out of their minds." Banner glanced over his shoulder to see if anyone was listening. "They are all so high they're buzzing. A year of sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll, AND surfing addiction in the intoxicating 60s? We can't get caught up in this. We've got to reign this shit in, right now. Let them go through withdrawal and come down from their sensation seeking behavior high. Then we'll see what we have. We're lucky only Barnes took LSD. We could have an absolute mutiny on our hands. Christ, beach bunnies." Dr. Banner had Tony's full attention. "Another thing Tony, we're remiss if we don't pick up right where we left off with Barnes. We need a neurology consult. He needs to be sleeping on BARF every night. Period. No compromise."

"Agreed."

"We need to call the Norwegian."

"I already have. She'll be here in under a week."

"Tony, got a minute?" Natalie came from nowhere.

"NO, no, no," Dr. Banner protested. "I need to examine you – yesterday."

"Look, the rabbit died. I'm the same amount pregnant as I was yesterday. Look at me. I'm in a bikini. I'm packed with sand. Can you give me a minute? I'll come to you soon." Natalie left with Tony.

Frustrated, Bruce returned to Steve who waited patiently. They sat for an hour before Buck walked out of the sensor room dragging his IV stand behind him. Bruce removed the IV bag but left in a Hep-Lock. Buck sat on the desk and watched as Bruce reattached his cybernetic arm.

"I can't say definitively what caused the noises you heard but we did find some wear in circuits which we replaced and some hotspots which we also replaced. I totally replaced the silent running feature. Considering the work out you put the arm through this past year I'm not surprised we saw some wear."

Bucky watched his arm go through it start up sequences. The human hologram spread its way from fingertips to shoulder.  
Both Banner and Rogers looked at Barnes with great concern. Bucky sat with one leg on the desk and one leg on the floor. He leaned on his top leg. He towered over Cap and Banner.

"Thanks Doc. I'm sure it'll be okay now." He covered his cyborg arm with his human arm and held it close to his body. Maybe he did miss it. Buck glanced at all the equipment and the faces. "I have to get real."

Banner rolled his eyes and prepared himself to hear some 60s hippie babble. Cap was all ears.

"You know, I appreciate everything everyone has done for me here. I really do. I can never repay you but I've had all this," Buck waved his hand around. "I've been confined. I've been handled. I've been controlled by experts. I've lived on machines and drugs and medical experiments. I can see your concern. I can see it on your faces. I can feel your unease. Your fear. I can hear it when you speak."

"I'm not afraid of you Buck."

"You're afraid of him." Bucky drilled Cap with his gaze, and they both knew the truth. "I know I scared the holy shit out of everyone yesterday, but it scared me 100 times more than it did you. I know what he did to you. I know your wounds have healed, but when I look at you . . . every time I look at you, I see you laying at the bottom of the Potomac, 30 seconds from death, four bullet holes and just as many knife wounds in you, that I did . . . How many times did I pull your scrawny ass out of that swimming pool when we were kids? And in the war? You trusted me with your life. Every day. Every day. And I was good for it. I want her, Steve. I want to be a father. I want my child and I want your trust back."

Buck let that sit out in the air for a while. Steve and Bruce were silent. Tony who watched and listened from his monitor said: "Son of a bitch. He's gone rogue." Tony ran out of his surveillance room followed by Natalia. 

Buck stood by the desk, stretched his muscles and rubbed his empty stomach.

"And I want some food." He walked a few steps away and Steve called to him.

"It was one."

"One? Huh?"

"You shot me four times but just one knife wound," Steve sang out with pride, then under his breath, "but that one knife wound punctured my lung."

"That doesn't make me feel better." Bucky continued to truck to the kitchen.

"You know, I'm hungry."

"Me too," Bruce and Steve rushed to catch up with Bucky.

****

At dusk Steve found Barnes at the computer center. He stood by and watched what Buck looked at so intensely. Shocked, Steve saw Buck watched Tony's top secret video file on the Winter Soldier. Steve seated himself by Buck and shook his head.

"Why are you torturing yourself with this?"

"I can't defeat him."

"Neither could I. Maybe no one can."

"Why not? And if not, there has to be something about him I can accept." 

"Sun Tzu Art of War?"

"Exactly. I can't see it. I'm glad you're here, maybe you can."

Steve made a determination to watch the video objectively as if the Winter Soldier was simply any another adversary to analyze, to discover their techniques, strengths and weaknesses. It was horrific. Bucky squirmed in his chair and held his breath. Steve was uneasy about the whole idea. After a while they relaxed, and Steve was able to make some observations.

"He's relaxed. He standing there leaning on one hip like he's standing on a street corner waiting for the light to change or strolling down Central Park. Anyone in these situations would be tense."

"Yeah, like our T'ai Chi Ch'uan Master. Relaxation is the key to the flow of Chi. Where there is tension the Chi cannot flow – relaxed and focused concentration."

"He's not relax because of discipline. He's not encumbered by fear, or worry, or compassion, or even mercy, or any emotion. The mind is wiped clean."

"It doesn't know it can be killed."

"Yes, that's it." Cap said. "He doesn't know he can be killed. You hurt it and you can't hurt it. It just keeps coming at you."

Buck shuddered. "What a horror . . ."

Steve noted Buck's emotional reaction of sympathy and continued nonchalantly.

"If your buddy Freud was here he'd say that this creature was the ID alone, functioning without the ego or super ego, which have been removed. This enabled him to focus intensely and exclusively on completing his mission." Steve's speech drifted off. They watched in silence.

Tony collected everything about the Winter Soldier he could get. Not just random street camera footage, but training videos, experiments, and actual torture filmed for whatever depraved purpose. It took extraordinary guts to watch this bizarre concoction. Buck was overcome.

"Uum . . . I'm a monster." He growled.

Steve grabbed Bucky by the shoulders. He ripped his view away from the screen.

"Stop it! Don't say that. Don't think that. You're blaming the victim. They don't do that anymore." 

"I don't want to be a victim."

"Look, that's your body – it's not you. If you don't remember who you are – I do. You've got to see that. You've got to understand that." Steve shook Barnes. Shook him hard. 

Bucky clenched his fists. His arm glistened metallic, the blue of his Iris was invaded by the black of pupil dilatation. It was the fight or flight response again.

"Stop it." Steve shook Buck. "Stop it if you can.

"I think I can. I want to." Bucky pressed pause on the video. 

"Stop it," he said to himself. "Stop!."

"You know you don't have to keep watching."

"I do. I need to know what I did. I need to know what they did. I need to know what really happened. I need to face it, Steve. I need to face it this one time. I've got to get a grip."

Bucky's arm look flesh again so he pressed play.

On the screen men in a white lab coats were doing something unspeakable to Barnes. Barnes laughed at them.

"Oh God. They're torturing you and you're laughing?"

Buck placed his fists over eyes. He sucked air through his teeth. 

"You're laughing," Cap said. "Do you remember this?"

Buck did not look. One look was enough. "No. No. I don't."

"Goddamn you – God damn you all to hell." Cap yelled at the video.

Buck sprang from his chair and moved between Cap and the screen to block his view. Buck shook HIM by HIS shoulders.

"I must've been out of my mind. I can't explain it." Neither man looked at the screen again, but the sounds of the torture filled the air - it was worse than watching. Bucky held Cap by the shoulders until he calmed down. "Come on let's get it over with."

They watched on. Cap glanced at the timer. They were near the end, thankfully, mercifully, near the end of the file. The digital video ceased, and a good quality 16mm film started - a film of an elaborate surgery suite. Barnes was brought in, obviously drugged, and obviously with two functioning human arms. He was anesthetized. The surgeons amputated his left arm. Steve held his breath.

"What? What are they doing?" All the blood drained out of Bucky's face. He turned glacier white. "No . . . No . . . that's not what happened. That's not my memory. They saved me. My arm was gone. Ripped off from the fall. I saw the blood on the snow. I was bleeding to death. They save me. They gave me a new arm." Bucky stood so suddenly he knocked his chair over. He held his cybernetic arm like what he saw on the screen was in real time.

"Every detail is as clear . . . is as clear . . ."  
Bucky backed away from the film. He back as far from the film as he could get.

"As clear as . . . the other implanted memories they gave me. I should've known. It was so real. It was so perfect . . . too perfect. They gave me that memory to control me, and it did," Buck's voice got loud. "It did control me. That was the one thing I held onto. The one thing I told myself. Oh, they helped me once. They saved my life. They were nice to me once. They'll do it again. They'll think I'm worth something. They'll be nice to me again. They never were. They never were." And Bucky cried. Not just on the inside, he cried on the outside. He cried unabashedly. He did not cover his face. He did not try to hide his emotions. He cradled his lost arm like a baby, and he wept. He cried like a man.

When Bucky cried Steve cried as he had done as a child. It hurt like hell, but his heart broke for his friend. Steve cried until he could not stand another minute of it and he flew into action. He jumped from his chair and picked up Bucky's chair. He rescued Barnes from the back of the room and made him sit. Steve knelt on one knee in front of him, with one hand on each arm of Bucky's chair. His massive chest and arms encircled Barnes, who had no means of escape physically or emotionally. 

"Buck, you don't know this. I might as well give it to you all at once. All this." Steve flashed his hand at the screen. "All this, is my fault. If I would have . . . When you fell, Buck, when you fell. I didn't go back for you. No one did. I thought it was hopeless. And I reported the situation as such, by the book, logically. Morita argued with me. God, I had forgotten that. He fought passionately for you. He threatened to go alone. I said I'd have him court-martialed for desertion. He never forgave me. We were never friends again. He would've gone for you but not me. He was your true friend but not me. I left you there to be eaten by wolves - or whatever would befall you - whatever would be your fate. Good God . . . Even if I wasn't your friend, I was your Captain. It was my duty if you perished to retrieve your remains, your dog tags, handle them with dignity and send them home to your mother." Steve could not control his sorrow or hold back his tears. This time he cried for himself.

"I didn't even try . . . How many hopeless things have come to pass since then, Buck, how many?" Through his tears, Steve glanced at Bucky. 

"Oh God. You look at me. How can you look at me with sympathy, you sweet creature. I don't deserve your look of sympathy. Don't. Don't try to let me off. Because I know, I know the truth." Steve shook Bucky's chair. "I know what you would have done." Steve glanced at Buck again.

"If I fell that day – you would have done anything – broken any rule. You would have gone AWOL to find my body and send it home. You would have moved heaven and earth and you know it. So don't tell me with those eyes that I'm not responsible. I did nothing and look what happened to you . . . all those years, Buck." Another wave of painful tears flowed over Steve as he hung his head in shame.

"The one time," Steve looked at the ceiling and shook Bucky's chair with his powerful arm so hard that Bucky shook with the chair. "The one time, I didn't follow my instincts."

Steve's outburst had accomplished one thing: Bucky stopped crying. 

"What instinct?" Buck cradled his Cyborg arm in his lap. 

Steve hung his head and was silent.

"What instinct?" Buck lowered his head and followed Steve's eyes around as he glanced here and there. 

"When the handle broke off and you fell. My instinct was to let go." Steve lowered his head. With his body language he asked for forgiveness, bent on one knee, as if asking forgiveness from a king. More than a few moments passed until both men regained their composure.

"I suppose it's not going to do me any good to remind you that was a 4000 foot drop. You would've been killed."

"You survived," Cap glanced up and back down.

"I was caught by Dandalo's people."

"I repeat, you survived." Cap stared at Bucky's lap. He saw Buck's human hand let go of his metal arm, relax, and slide across his body.

"You did nothing and I survived. They did everything and still I survived. I survived it all." He waved his hand across the myriad screens in the room.

"Yeah, you survived it all."

Steve slid his chair and sat in front of Bucky, knee to knee. They listened to silence. They looked at nothing. They thought their own thoughts.

"Is there any more on that timer?"

"Around 60 seconds."

"Well, let's see it. No more surprises." The film showed the gruesome end of the amputation surgery. Buck shuttered and rubbed his human hand over his metal shoulder. He rubbed his hand over his chest.

"Let's get out of this room. I'd like to get out of this building." Buck glanced around.

They strolled down the hall of Solaris and out the back door. They did not luck out with the weather, however. They stood on the beach in all the dark, cold, wind, rain and pelting sand the Pacific ocean had to offer.

"You know, I faked crying in there - just to get you to stop. Ha . . . and it worked," Steve puffed his chest out.

"What a bunch of BS. You just keep telling yourself that, Ace."

"I'm serious. I can cry at will."

"Yeah, you're seriously full of shit. If my mom told me once she told me 50 times. When we were little, if one of us cried the other would cry even if they were not the one hurt."

"Okay, okay, just don't tell anyone I was crying." 

"Tell anyone? Where the hell do you think we were? There's 20 cameras and microphones in that room alone. Tony, Banner, Natalie, they all probably ate popcorn and watched it live."

Steve threw his head back and flailed his arms around. He knew Buck was right. "Christ almighty."

Buck loved when Steve was off-balance a bit; it took his mind off of everything.

"I'll have to accept it but just don't cry again, really I . . . I. . . . I just can't deal with all that."

Buck's mood was brightened by this kind of banter.

"I don't know, man. I kinda liked crying." Buck flexed his muscles and inhaled a deep breath. "It felt good."

Steve threw his head back again and looked at Buck. "What?"

"Didn't you get anything out of that encounter group Natalie made us go to?"

"NOPE."

Barnes laid on the tease.

"You can't be a whole person if you don't have access to all your emotions."

"Wanna bet?" Cap said under his breath and added: "Is that like all humans are capable of horrific acts in the right situation?" Steve dished it out but lost Buck's attention. "You with me? Buck?" 

"I was thinking."

"About what?"

"Guess."

"A hamburger?" Cap joked.

A spontaneous laugh broke out of Bucky's mouth. "No, a big wave." Buck smiled big.

"Oh man, I can dig it. How many days has it been? It's painful."

"My tan is fading." 

Cap burst out laughing with that one. "What are we going to do about it?"

"I know what I'm going to do. I'm gonna explode."

Steve was on that page with Barnes, but he wanted a controlled release of built-up steam. He wanted to get his mind off where it was and on to something else, anything else. The night was damp, cold and nasty. The rain pelted down with gale force winds. They huddled by rocks, but even so, their exposed skin was sandblasted.

"Nice night." Buck looked around for the moon. 

"You think this is nice?"

The wind picked up. The sand blasted into their face. The rain came at them horizontally; they covered their faces with their hands.

"We could try Tony's new boxing program?"

Tony invented and developed boxing helmet, gloves and vest with sensors throughout that recorded points via a computer program.

"I'd love to." Buck said and they rushed in the beach door of Solaris.

"Marcus of Queensberry rules?" Cap said as they scooted down the hall.

Bucky hesitated. "Really? Well, if you insist."

"First blood?"

"Seriously? Well, okay." Buck was not a boxer but he was the most trained boxer of the two. Politeness permitted the lesser trained make the rules for their comfort.

The brand new boxing suite door would not open for Steve.

"You have clearance for all rooms. You try." Buck put his hand on the glowing pad by the door, nothing happened. He placed his face by the pad for a retinal scan, no go. Finally he said, "James Barnes here," and the suite door opened with a gust of new leather smell. The room held a regulation boxing ring: overstuffed leather viewing chairs, two sinks with cabinets and a large ornate carved wooden bar in the back - looked to be from the 1920s. The whole set up gave the impression of a rich man's fantasy boxing ring, which is exactly what it was.

Once in the room Buck, being a pro, began the meet psychologically way before the first punch was thrown. A long table ran down one side of the room with the newly invented equipment laid out for viewing pleasure: boxing boots, shorts, vest, helmet and gloves. One set in gold and the other set in blue. Steve was attracted to the gold. He handled the equipment and tried on the helmet. Barnes said he wanted the gold. They argued about that a while until Steve gave in only to have Barnes change his mind and want the blue. This kind of silliness irritated Rogers and Barnes knew it. He would not have pulled such nonsense if he thought he could beat Rogers out right – which he knew he could not. 

The splendor of the equipment distracted both men from the psyche out contest. The vest and shorts were made from extremely lightweight material full of the silicone sensors. The boots were soft with their own built-in sock. The boots tied with Velcro closures. The gloves and helmet look the most standard with the exception that the gloves had no laces but Velcro closures also. The stand out items were the hand protectors. They were a soft white silicone that slipped over the hand. After a few minutes on the hand, body heat custom molded the unit to the individual hand, webbing in between the fingers. They were strong but elastic and pliable.

Bucky went to the sink and lathered up his face, hands and arms to remove the sand that blasted onto them from the beach. He looked at himself in the mirror and drifted off someplace. He ran his human hand up his neck and gave the hair behind his ear a little tug. After six passes of this unexplainable ritual, Steve feared it was pre-weeping behavior, and he could not take anymore of that, so he distracted Bucky by dancing around him showing off the hand protectors. It worked like a charm. 

The hand protectors were nice, brilliant in fact. They admired them. Again, Tony had invented a revolutionary new item that would set the standard and add another cool billion to his stock pile.

As Steve dressed, his mind wandered back to the first time, as kids, he boxed with his friend. Back then he was 98 pounds, not even a minimum weight, boxing against a light heavyweight. With such a significant weight difference between them there was no contest; Buck was in an instructor role and Steve a student. In many ways Steve remained 98 pounds on the inside.

It felt strange to Steve to be equally matched with Barnes. He assessed his opponent. Besides a Vibranium jaw and a cybernetic arm, Buck's stand out future was his speed. He was superhumanly fast. Steve thought back to a time when he had to hijack a car to catch Bucky when Bucky was running with purpose. Steve wondered if he would be able to land anything. It would be like hitting a mirage. Compounding his speed, he never repeated a pattern. He never gave himself away, and what he would do next was coming at you in a split-second. Steve felt he did not have a chance. 

As Bucky dressed he assessed his opponent. He had been in intense physical training with Steve for six months, and he firmly believed Steve did not know his own power. Buck knew he was going down. All Steve needed was one blow that connected and that would be the bloody end – nothing could withstand that. The only question in Buck's mind was how long could he delay the inevitable. He thought of the ways.

The blood brothers, Steve and Bucky, glanced at each other suspiciously as they dressed.

Again, Buck froze. He stared at his hand. Bucky's eyes darkened. He saw metal show through the hologram on his fingers that held the mouthguard. He hyperventilated.

"What's the matter?" Steve touched his shoulder. "What's wrong?" Steve glanced at Bucky's hand.

"What is this thing?" Bucky stared at the mouthguard. "WHAT IS THIS THING?"

Steve looked it over. "Why, it's your mouthguard." 

"No . . . NO!"

"Yes, it's just a mouthguard, see?" Steve put his guard in his mouth and took it out.

"Oh, oh I see." Buck stared at his metal hand. So did Steve.

"I'm not fighting that," Steve said. If the cybernetic arm showed metal the arm was full strength and there would be no match.

"I didn't turn it on." Bucky said. "Not now, not now, damnit." He said forcefully and his hand resumed his human appearance. 

Steve looked at Buck's mouthguard. "Don't think about it just put it in quick." 

Buck nodded. He did what he was told in one movement.  
Steve had no idea what all that was about – neither did Bucky.

The first foot fall into the ring activated the whole contraption - lights came on - Jarvis spoke: "Welcome to the Wonderful World of Boxing. Opponents state your name and suit color."

"James Barnes – blue."

"Steve Rogers – gold."

"State your rules."

"Marcus of Queensberry standard." 

Jarvis reviewed the rules verbally.

"Commence the action." Jarvis sounded like a carnival barker.

Both men stood still in the center of the ring facing each other.

"Let's see how this works. Let me touch your helmet." Steve approached Barnes to touch his helmet. Buck hit Steve's hand away.

"No, no this is practice. I'm just going to touch you," Steve tried to touch Bucky's helmet again. Bucky quickly pushed his hand away.

"Dude – I'm just going to touch you to see what happens."   
This time Bucky batted Steve's hand away and growled.

"Maybe this isn't such a good idea." Steve relaxed his hands by his side.

"Come on, you runt, let's play." Barnes put his dukes up, bounced around playfully and smiled at Steve. 

They sparred lightly. They felt their way with the new equipment to get a sense of how Jarvis called the blow-by-blow action and dispensed points. Both men slowly increased the pace. Steve discover something new. For a man who had been emotionally all over the map this day, Buck had a focus and concentration that was overwhelming. Steve felt constantly on his heels. Bucky was not going to be beatable; he was just too fast. 

They fought on. Steve prepared himself to lose . . . but that did not feel good. Steve wanted to win, even this silly competition, so he encouraged himself. He talked to himself, 'If there is one thing I know. I know this man. I know Buck. I know him like I know my own genetic code.' A little smile filled Steve's mind as he remembered Barnes had stammered when Steve suggested the Marcus of Queensberry rules. He hesitated when Steve said first blood. Bucky would become bored – bored with the rules – bored with the limits of the rules and he would push those limits. Steve would stake his life on this fact. Steve could win on points. Not the best way to win but a win, nevertheless.

As sure as the sun and the moon are in the sky, Barnes started to accrue penalties: occasional, small, minor, but penalties. 

ROUND 4

Jarvis call a foul, gave points and they fought on.

ROUND 5

By round five, it was evident they could continue to punish each other like they were, indefinitely. Their minds were on nothing but their body's movement. They didn't think of the past. They didn't think of the future. Their muscles were hot. Their joints were loose. Everything flowed. They felt good. Both men worked up a lather. Their skin shined with sweat. Their faces were red and swollen with effort. Their muscles bulged tight and glistened with perspiration. They made little noises of exertion. 

'Ah,' - 'Oh,' - 'Ug.'

Cap knocked Buck down. He sprang to his feet. They fought on.

Impulsively, Buck ripped off his helmet and gloves and threw them out of the ring. Sweat flew off the helmet. His hair was soaked from sweat. He shook his head like a dog. Sweat flew around the ring. He put his dukes back up. 

Shocked, Steve dropped his hands to his side, spit out his mouth guard and shouted:

"You put that shit back on right now!"

"MAKE ME." Buck's face was red from exertion. He gave Steve his lovely eyes and sly smile.

"Oh, so that's how it is?"

"Uh huh," Buck did not break eye contact.

Steve ripped his helmet and gloves off – the real fight began. First blood came and went. Jarvis fell over itself to keep up with the action. 

"Foul, Mr. Barnes." 

"Point, Mr. Rogers." 

"Penalty, Mr. Barnes." 

"Penalty, Mr. Rogers." 

The fight digressed into a 12 year old's free-for-all. Jarvis call penalties and fouls, and yes, grabbing your opponent by the jaw and shaking them is a foul. Hitting your opponent on the top of the head is a foul. Pulling your opponent's hair is a foul. Twisting the arm behind the back is the foul. Pretending your fencing in the boxing ring is a foul. Kicking your opponent in the ass is a foul. Holding your opponent down on the mat until they say uncle is a foul!

Steve had a clear win on points but when he threw Buck to the mat, stood on him and shouted, 'I am the victor!' He was disqualified. Steve laughed and kicked at Buck who rolled across the ring, under the ropes, and off the platform. At the last second Buck grabbed Steve's ankle and pulled Steve over with him. They wrestled on the floor - rolled around and laughed til it hurt - until they could laugh no more.

"Stop, stop it!" Buck laughed. "I can't take it. Get off me."

"You stop. My sides hurt. I'm gonna throw up." Steve held his sides.

Bucky pushed and kicked Steve away. He crawled to the sinks. Steve grabbed at his legs. They both slowed down to get their breath.

"I haven't laughed like this in years."

"Is it possible to laugh yourself to death . . . to die laughing?"

Buck crawled up the sink with an occasional break out of residual laughter. For no reason they started up the hysterics again. Bucky ran water over his bloody hand protectors and slid them off his hands. He threw one at Steve followed closely by the other. The wet bloody white blob hit Steve in the face. He deflected the other.

"Now, don't start anything you can't finish. Stop it! I can't laugh anymore . . . my jaw . . . " Steve attempted to get to his feet. 

Buck stood at the sink and took stock of the damage done. His lip was as split open. "Man, oh man, are you going to be in the doghouse when Natalie sees this."

Steve did not bother with an answer, instead he kicked Bucky's helmet, it landed at his feet. Buck got the message and shrugged his shoulders. He continued with his inspection. His teeth and mouth were full of blood and blood clots. 

"Oh . . . it's cut on the inside too," he spit blood into the sink.   
"A week of ugly."

Buck opened the cabinet over his sink and a female computer voice said: "You are authorized to remove any contents from this cabinet."

"I need a first aid kit."

"Cabinet #2." The voice answered politely.

"What was in there?" Steve questioned.

"Drugs," Buck shut the cabinet and walked away. 

"Wait a minute," he returned cabinet #1 and opened the door. 

"Do you have Tranquility?" he said hopefully. 

The cabinet answered: "Tranquility can only be dispensed by Dr. Bruce Banner."

"Come on . . . don't . . . " Steve pulled at Buck's human arm. Bucky pulled back. Steve did not let go.

"No - Wait!" Buck shut the door and opened it again. "Do you have anything for pain?"

The cabinet spoke, "describe pain."

Bucky did not want to admit to pain, let alone, describe the pain.

" . . . pain in the mind," he glanced at Steve.

"No Buck."

The cabinet did not respond.

"Mental pain," his face showed it. 

"Psychic pain," he tensed up. 

"Pain in your feelings . . . help me," he blurted out with anguish in his voice. He giggled the side of the cabinet.

"Take two Tylenol," the cabinet responded.

A rare thing happened. James Barnes lost his temper. The Cyborg Super Soldier hit the cabinet with his metal fist and broke the glass. Steve tightened his grip on Bucky's human arm, and yelled, "STOP." The second hit broke the door off the cabinet. The third strike set off alarms. The fourth blow smashed the alarms into silence. 

In one breath Barnes regained his composure. He rested his metal arm deep in the destroyed cabinet and leaned on the sink with his human arm: Steve still attached. He hung his head. 

"Oooh," he lamented. "I lost it, Steve . . . I lost my temper."

"Oh, Buck." Steve shook his head.

"Geez – ," Buck glanced at the damage and winced. "I guess I'll have to pay for that."

Steve did not have the heart to remind Bucky he did not have any money.

"Yeah . . . wow," Steve said. "You lost your temper, and look, a smashed medicine cabinet. Maybe you can relax a bit and not be wound so tight. You lost your temper and you didn't kill anyone . . . okay?" With a good grip on Buck's human arm, Steve corralled his cybernetic arm and poured over his face.

"You okay?"

Bucky studied Steve's face in response.

"Yeah, I'm okay – but you're not." Buck laughed. "You have two black eyes."

"WHAT?" Steve inspected his face in the mirror. "Now, who's gonna look at that."

"What difference would it make you have a different girl every night anyway."

"That was the same girl. She's a makeup artist." Steve looked over his beat up face - from side to side. 

"Too bad she's not here now she could do something for that face."

They laughed and did a show and tell of the various other injuries they wore with such pride. 

Bucky retrieved a decanter of whiskey from the bar, rinsed his bloody mouth and spit. Blood and stringy blood clots splattered into the sink. The whiskey hurt like hell on the cuts. He repeated, and held the whiskey in his mouth to numb the wounds. He repeated until the whiskey looked clear.

"That's like Hillrock Whiskey you're spitting down the sink."

Buck took the last of the whiskey in a huge swig, gargled, spit it down the sink and came up with a smile. He pushed his hair out of his face.

"I'm going home." He placed his hands on Steve's shoulders and shook him.

"Thanks Steve, nothing brings one back to reality better than a well thrown fist in the face."

"Don't mention it . . . you horse's ass."

"We'll see who's the horse's ass – there's a camera in this room too. Later," and Buck was out the door.

Steve shook his head. He looked himself over in the mirror, close in. He touched the skin around his eyes. He did wish that girl, that makeup artist, was here at Solaris.

****

Natalie had been in Bucky's room only a short time, yet, as he walked in, the room felt like a home. A warm cozy holiday of a home. The smell of coffee and toast kind of holiday with Natalie rustling around in the room. When he saw her all the lights in the world came on bright. He felt profound sadness for all the countless men who wandered the world alone; for he is death looking for a place to happen and she is life's spring time bloom. 

She said nothing about the cut on his lip but kissed him softly – avoiding that area. It may have been the heat still on his body from the fight or his flushed face but, his blood and whiskey soaked kiss intoxicated her. She went back for more, again and again.

"You little vampire," he said.

She kissed him many times. She kissed him. He felt such a sense of relief to be in her arms; he felt such a release, that he felt weak. His head swam. She kissed and kissed again and with each kiss, he died a little only to be born again. With each kiss he took one step toward something and another step, then another, until weakness drove him down, and he gave himself over to the moment.

****

Steve rose early, eager to start his Solaris routine – the four hour work out – he felt he needed from the fight and the emotional roller coaster of the day before. He knew Barnes would show up at any minute and fall into the same routine, but he never did. Steve looked around for his friend but could not find him. He stopped by the BARF Machine. Bruce was there at work.

"Hey, I can't find Bucky."

Bruce nodded to the video screen and turned up the sound.

"He's been hitting the ball like that and talking to himself for the last 4 hours and 45 minutes." Buck hit the ball hard and fast splat, splat, splat, it sounded like gunfire.

"What?"

"Tony said let him do whatever, but if you walked in on him I wouldn't be unhappy. I'd like to get him on the machine and compare what's up today after, you know, yesterday."

"Yeah, yesterday. I'm on it." 

Steve heard Tony's non-interference directive loud and clear, so he stood at the door and watched. Buck hit the ball using his whole body. He was drenched with sweat. The echo in the room made the ball hit, kerplunk, kerplunk, kerplunk. It made an ear shattering racket. Buck fell against the wall and yelled, 'stop' or 'not now'. He held himself up with his metal arm on the wall and looked over the arm at Steve with the black eyes of the Winter Soldier.

"Not now," Buck said again and his eyes appeared more blue and the metal arm looked more like human skin.

"Me?" Steve said.

"Not you, Steve. Come on ahead."

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to get control. Trying to get control over myself."

"Does Banner know what you're doing?"

"I'll tell him right now. Let's go." Buck was cheerful .

When Dr. Banner saw Bucky he jumped up and said, "Hey, great I need a reading," and he motioned to the sensor room. 

Barnes itched for a place to lay and rest his arm, obliged by throwing himself on the gurney. He stretched his throbbing human arm out over his head and groaned. Banner called out, "I'll be there in a second."

"That was the Winter Soldier in there hitting the ball. He's trying to control it. I thought that was impossible. I thought it was impossible for him to control the fight or flight response?"

"People say crazy until someone does it and then it's called science. In theory the nanite string will stream. Well, look at that brain . . . as clear as an unmuddied lake . . . as clear as an azure blue sky."

"Am I good?" Buck yelled out from the gurney.

"As right as rain. But sleep here. Tonight. 12 midnight."

"I'll be here. WE will be here."

Steve and Bucky trotted down the hall. Bucky read his friend's face and body language like a book with big print.

Buck stopped in the hall. "Alright, Banner's satisfied why aren't you?"

Steve stopped in the hall and turned to face Barnes.

"You know, I was around the last two days. I know what you're up against, man, I really do. I feel for you, all the way, but tell me what you're doing. You want me to trust you? I want to trust you. You made a decision. Let me in on your thought process. I can help. I know I can help you."

"I've got to get control of this. Just, what, two days ago? I was having an out of body experience, up in the corner of the room watching what HE was doing, unable to stop him. I could've done anything."

"But he did nothing . . . just threats."

"I wasn't in control of my body, someone else was. I know he's part of me, and I know he's not going away. I have to accept that. Someday I may need him. Someday he may save my life. I know I can't control the fight or flight impulse. I don't want to try. It may save my life someday, too, I understand that. But I want to be in charge of what I actually do – fight or run. I want to shut the whole thing down if the best thing to do is neither. I can't have a repeat of the other day or the medicine cabinet with Nat and the baby. I've got to get this NOW. I know I've been acting like some prince around here. I've got to accept he's always going to be there. I've got to accept it. You could help. I want you to help. I need you to help me do this."

"What do you need?"

"Well, I need a real threat. I can't hit the ball another day. It's not bringing on the fight or flight response anymore anyway. It has to be a novel situation. A situation with a real threat."

"What can I do, Buck?"

"I want you to try to kill me."

"I don't care what that machine just said about your brain – you're out of your mind. What do ya want me to do get a gun and shoot at you?"

"I don't think I'd react to that, frankly. If you pointed a loaded pistol at my head, I don't think you'd fire. I wouldn't react."

"We can go up top and I could hang you over the cliff side?" Cap dripped sarcasm with this one.

"Yeah, like a Buck Rogers episode?"

"How about waterboarding?"

"Now, wait, that's a good idea. I might react violently to that."

"That's what I'd be afraid of."

Buck considered waterboarding. "You need special equipment for that. Hey, how about I let you put me into a wrestling hold down. You know how I hate to be held down. You do that and then put me in a chokehold." Buck's eyes got big, bright and eager. "I know. I know they're illegal. But I know you know how to do 'em. Maybe I panic and go off."

"Geez, that sounds pleasant." 

Steve was lassoed right into the gym and into breaking his number one rule - NEVER WRESTLE WITH A CYBORG. Before he could reconsider he picked a hold down and put the compliant Bucky into the hold. At first Buck just laid there letting himself be held by Cap. It seemed a long wait before Bucky flexed his muscles and moved under Cap's weight and strength. Buck moaned then growled. Cap could feel Bucky's lung expand. Buck's squirms became constant. Steve chocked him off. In 30 seconds, Buck commenced a careen of violent muscle contractions to get free. Steve saw the metal appear on Bucky's arm, and he knew his pupils were dilated all the way open. They both started to sweat all over, all at once, as their bodies attempted to hold their anaerobic postures.

Buck roared like an animal. His contortions became so violent Steve could not hold him; the sweat made him slippery. Buck got free in a flash and put Steve into a choke hold. Steve had time to say, 'what happened to the shutdown', and that was the end of that. Buck did not let go of Cap until Cap lost consciousness. Buck did not let go of the animal he thought he caught, until he felt the animal's body go limp under his force. Only then did he say, 'not now, stop, not now', to end the siege.

"You almost killed me." Steve mumbled.

"I didn't almost kill you. You blacked out."

"You almost killed me, man."

"Hum, you're not all there yet." 

Buck held Steve's face with his cybernetic hand and gave him three little taps on his face with this human hand.

"Hey . . . hey! Are you with me?"

"Ug, I blacked out."

"Yeah, you blacked out." Bucky held Steve's head and spoke to him.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes."

"Wanna do it again?"

Steve did a double take. "I'm ready." Steve put his fists up.

"You're still not all there, Ace."

Steve raised himself up on one elbow and shook his head to clear the cobwebs. "Well, that was a great idea. Got anymore?"

"Are you mad at me?"

"What? Huh? Yeah. I am. Yes, I'm angry."

"Well, then, maybe you'd hit me like you meant it."

"What? You're not giving up? You're not calling it a day? I almost peed my pants. You're loose, Buck." It crossed Steve's mind that maybe Buck did need that drug Tranquility.

Buck was up on his feet ready for more. Steve wobbled to attention.

"Come on. One more for the cause."

"You know, I'm about mad enough to smack you around and like it."

"Come on, come on you 90 pound weakling."

Steve knew what was coming next and he did not want to hear it. His eyes enlarged and his face flushed.

"Don't say it."

"Oh you mean . . . Pee-wee." Buck's smile had never been bigger.

"I'd like to smash you in the face but you're . . . you're just too damn handsome."

"Do it! Do it!"

Steve moved on Buck like a bulldozer and forced him to the wall. He held him against the wall with the side of his arm across his shoulders, clavicle and neck. Steve raised his hand to hit him in the face.

"I can't."

Tony suited up as he burst in the doorway. 

"Well, I can."

Tony did not stop for pleasantries. He walked to Barnes and struck him with such force that Buck took flight and landed on the back wall. The hologram on his arm disintegrated. His bug eyes blackened instantly on impact. He sprang to his feet like an acrobat and advanced on Tony. With his cybernetic arm, never fully tested in combat, he picked up Tony, suit and all, and threw him over his head as one would throw a baseball. When Tony hit the back wall his suit alarm sounded. Tony was shocked to see his suit had cracked by his rib cage. Buck was on him. He pounded the crack like a jack hammer. Over and over he struck Tony with his cybernetic arm. He watched as the crack advance with each blow. Tony attempted a response but the strikes came in such rapid succession he failed to mobilize. Bucky continue to hit and shout. "Not now, not now ." On the third round the human hologram reappeared and some blue could be seen in the black of his eyes – for anyone who cared to look. 

Bucky stopped. He backed away from Tony. He shook his head like an animal shakes off flies. "Arrg, arrh." He said.

Tony raised his arm, fired from his palm at Barnes who blocked the beam. It ricocheted around the room and knocked Steve off his feet. Banner entered the room and rushed to Steve on the floor. Bucky held the beam with his Vibrainum encased arm and advanced on Tony. He kicked Tony's arm. The beam cut a substantial hole in the south wall. He proceeded to plummet the crack in Tony's suit with a series of blows until there was a large enough hole for a finger hold and he ripped the side of Tony suit off. Bucky reacted to the sight of Tony's body like he had been zapped with a Taser gun. Tony's exposed body activated every ounce of strength Bucky had to combat the Winter Soldier. He could not let the Winter Soldier harm Tony. He screamed, "Stop it! Stop now!" at the top of his lungs. "Arrrgghhh!" He yelled and pulled his hair. He slowly backed away breathing heavily. He backed off from Tony and smiled.

Tony was in a fury. He headed for the door, turned back, and apprehended Bucky by the throat. He thrust him against the wall. He held him a foot off the ground. 

Bucky latched on to the Iron Man hand to keep his airway open. 

Tony took a long look at his choking victim.

"Don't hold your breath until you get another upgrade for that arm." 

Tony released Bucky by giving his head a bounce off the wall. Buck slid down the wall and joined his friends on the floor. He coughed and choked and rubbed his throat.

"Thank you, Tony." Buck sputtered. His choking sounds turned funny, turned into laughs. Steve and Bruce joined in.

Tony heard the laughter waft down the hall. He joined in at the irony of it all. 

Bucky picked up the piece of Tony's suit he ripped off and headed down the hall after him. Steve and Bruce followed. They caught the limping Tony. 

"Give me that." Tony snatched the piece of suit out of Bucky's hand.

"Get away from me." Tony batted Bucky away.

"How about some duct tape there, Tony. Always works for me." Buck laughed.

Laughter filled the soul of the three men as they fell into step with Tony and followed the yellow brick road down the utility hall.

LATER THAT DAY

Tony tried hard to stay mad, but as he walked into the cinema room he heard such infectious laughter he forgot his anger and went in to join the party. Natasha, Steve and Bucky were watching surfing competitions on the big screen. They stood by the gigantic image and pretended they were on surfboards. Each tried to knock the others away. They jockeyed for the best spot to play act their ride on the wave. They scrambled for position. They watched the ever moving surfer on the screen to get in a position that felt like they were actually on the surfboard. They talked all at once, laughed, and did tricks to foil the others. Bruce laid out on one of the sofas curled in a ball and held his sides with laughter. The waves on the screen were massive. The competitors wiped out left and right, dramatically. Natalie imitated one of the wipeouts. She flailed her arms and legs around wildly, jumped high, and crashed to the floor. All present laughed hysterically. The boys not to be outdone took up the practice. Again, they jockeyed for position, pulled and pushed each other to be the one to catch the wave. This was crazy behavior but they were surfers and they were desperate.

With one year of constant surfing under their belts they were bona fide, class A, number 1, certified surfing addicts. Day four at Solaris - their withdrawal was bloody terrible. There is no addiction quite like surfing addiction especially for people like them. Everything about surfing was the antithesis of their prior lives. They wore practically no clothing. Their exposed skin constantly bathed in the warmth of the sun, the silky buoyancy of the water and the sensualness of the ride itself. In the water they were just another creature in the vast life of the sea. A stark contrast to the uniforms, conflict, fighting, and death of their former lives. 

But it was the brain that made surfing so addicting. The combination of the neurotransmitters serotonin and dopamine mixed with adrenaline composed a potent cocktail that made the brain hum. The intermittent nature of the kick made surfing an activity one would desire to repeat. Just like a gambler who never knew when he would win; you never knew when you would catch the perfect wave. 

Their days were filled with the activity of surfing. Their evenings full of talk about surfing, usually with more experienced surfers. Their personal thoughts focused obsessively on equipment, the next day's weather report, air temperature, water temperature and what beach to try next. Was there sand, rock or coral on the bottom? All their friends were surfers, or in Steve's case, the beach bunnies he routinely picked up. And in their dreams at night they were dancing on a wave. No doubt they suffered legitimate pain of mind and body. 

Steve was a strong surfer. He was calm and steady. He had such strength to carve the board through the water like a knife, creating a great spray that dazzled on lookers. Surfers love to nickname. Steve acquired the nickname Ace after his resemblance to an airplane taking off as he glided over the water with this massive chest and long arms outstretched. He was patient on the board and worked his ride like the tactical genius he was. All who saw him, and experts alike, agreed he would quickly move to the big wave stratosphere.

Bucky was a hotdog - a reckless, fearless surfer - not always a good combination. Impulsive and intuitive, he was always pushing the envelope of board, of man and of sea. If things were smooth he created a crisis. Seemingly indestructible and inexhaustible he was a thrill to watch but other surfers avoided riding next to him for when he wiped out, which he inevitably would, he would take you right down with him. In one year, he developed a reputation for hitting bottom more times than any other surfer in history. He was timed in one of these hold downs at twelve minutes underwater. He walked out of the water on his own accord, noodled to an extreme, but still he walked out. It was agreed by all that saw him, and experts alike, he was headed for death. There was even a betting pool on when he would buy it – an event no one wanted to miss.

But it was Natalia who was the real sensation. She had the strength of form and fearlessness of a great surfer but also a grace on the board like no other. She stuck to the board like she was planted on the board with roots, there by acquiring her nickname, Daisy. With feet stuck to the board her body was as pliable as a wet rope. She became part of the wave. Her name spread like wild fire through the world of surfing. She dominated every competition. She single-handedly financed their entire endless summer with her winnings. It was agreed by all who saw her, and experts alike, she was headed to make a fortune on sponsorships and merchandising.

They had new lives, and on some primal level, they wanted to live out these lives. The euphoria they felt, out there, was so intense they felt it may have a spiritual dimension. This aspect of surfing justified their addiction. Buck was especially affected by this end of it. For him, out there balancing on the wave, there was no future. There was no past. There was only now.

It was true they had all experienced an increase in risk taking behavior: the hallmark of the true addict. But Buck had nowhere to go. His level of risk so dangerous any increase looked suicidal. And he did look suicidal.

It all came to a head when Bucky had a particularly nasty wipe out taking a young novice with him. Bucky's board broke and hit the kid in the head requiring 10 stitches. It took great effort to get the boy out of the water. The boy would probably never try surfing again. Buck was sincerely sorry and apologized to the boy's father who did not accept the apology. The boy's father was a surfer. He told Bucky his behavior was outrageous. 

Later Steve and Natalie confronted him. Bucky said he would never surf around other people again. Simple solution, problem solved. Steve said, not so fast, that was an impractical solution, there would always be other surfers around. A proper solution would be something Bucky could control. 

Nat and Steve were confrontational. They pressurized him. He told them they had no right to try to modify what he was doing out there it was . . . personal . . . a freedom he had never experienced. Surfing was different for him. He liked being underwater more than he liked being above water. He thought if he stayed underwater long enough he would evolve back into a sea creature from which life sprung. He felt he communicated with the sea life, even down to the most basic muscle or snail. He understood them and felt he fit in. Buck wanted to be ocean before we were seperated. 

He admitted to Steve and Nat surfing was the source of anything even vaguely, or remotely spiritual he had ever experienced. Just as he supposed surfing was for them. Steve said he understood what Buck was saying and agreed, but he wanted the whole story out of Bucky.

Natalie asked him point-blank did he have a death wish? Was he trying to kill himself? Buck was on the hot seat. He was not angry. It was another emotion entirely. It did not have a name that he knew of, but he did not run from the feeling or feel the need to act out on the feeling. He let it be. He tried to put the feeling into words. Yes, he said it was true he was playing with death out there on the waves. But every time he lived, every time he came out of the water, every time the sea allowed him to come to the shore, was like a forgiveness. Like someone, or something was forgiving him. Natalie stood by Bucky in silence. Steve join the pair completing the triangle. After a long silence Steve broke the emotional tension.

"Thus spoke the atheist, hey?" Steve said.

Bucky smiled and shook his head. "Yeah, right." He felt relieved, in a way, that his intense feelings to be punished and or forgiven, were out in the open.

****

The action in the cinema room had escalated till blood had been drawn. Blood ran from Buck's elbow.

"Angel, you're bleeding." 

Buck burst into the bathroom for a Band-Aid. He walked in on Bruce Banner, not in the bathroom to use the bathroom, but in the bathroom to use the drug named Tranquility. Bucky saw the distinct lavender colored liquid go down the tube as Banner inhaled. A look of detached euphoria followed by shock spread in waves over Bruce's face. No look of shock could match the look of shock on the face of James Barnes. Bruce drop the canister and fell forward onto the countertop. He dropped his head, shut his eyes, and lamented to himself, anyone, anyone, anyone, but Bucky Barnes of all people to walk in on him – to walk in on this. Banner tried to speak.

"I ah . . . I um." 

"Are you sick, Bruce?" Bucky voice was full of emotion. He had gone from zero to 100.

"No, no . . . I'm not sick," Bruce glanced up, shook his head and dropped his eyelids over his eyes. 

"Then why? For fun?"

"No, no," Bruce could not look at Bucky. He slid lower on to the bathroom countertop.

"Oh, for mental pain?" Buck growled.

"Yes, Buck. Mental pain."

Bucky raised his voice louder and deeper. "Then why wouldn't you give it to me? I asked you. I begged you many times. I'm not suffering enough? I need more pain? You don't know what it was like to have an hour of peace, five minutes of peace." He quit talking and shook his head at how foolish he sounded – how thoughtless that statement was. He tried again.

"Why wouldn't you share? Share now. Do you have more? Is there more in that canister?" Bucky picked up the canister and shook it.

"Just give me a little? I don't understand this – you take it yourself – why won't you give it to me?" His voice boomed in the small tile bathroom.

Bruce Banner shrunk under the weight of Bucky's voice – he spit out the truth.

"Cap forbade it, kid."

"Cap? Cap forbade it? What does that even mean? You're the doctor. I'm your patient. That shit works."

"He saw me inject you, Buck. He saw it. He said it wasn't right. He said it didn't look right."

"What? A doctor putting his client out of their pain?"

"That's not what he saw."

Buck moaned, "Aw Ummm." His chain had been pulled and he fought for control.

"Well, okay then. What did he see?" 

Banner would rather cut off HIS arm than say what he had to say.

"He saw an addict making another addict," Banner hung his head. " He saw a junkie making another for himself."

"Mmmmm." Buck closed his eyes tight and covered his ears with his hands.

"And he was right. I'm so sorry. He was right. How are you ever going to understand this. I wanted company. I was so alone. How can you ever forgive me? He was right."

There was a long silence. 

Buck's aggression rose like a wave; a swell that washed over Banner. It was tangible – physical. If Bruce possess the right equipment it could be measured. Buck seemed to physically expand in size. He towered over Banner and threatened at any moment to break out in violence.

"I'm happy to be company for you, Bruce. Do you have more on you?" Buck mobilized and advanced towards Banner. "You do, don't you? You wouldn't go anywhere without a good supply. Would you?" Buck reached with his hands.

"Don't touch me." Banner held his hands in front of him. He backed a step toward the tile wall.

"I'm going to frisk you." Bucky came on until Banner was against the wall.

"Don't touch me. You know what will happen if you threaten me like this." Banner pointed his two index fingers at Barnes.

"I don't care. I have a big guy of my own." Bucky took hold of Bruce's lapels. Bruce held Buck's hands at the wrist. 

Banner looked around the room measuring the diameter in his mind. "Yeah, but my guy won't fit in this room." 

That did not stop Buck. His metal hand broke free from Banner and headed for his pocket. Bruce caught it.

"Buck! Think man. Think what you are doing. You are trying to get drugs by force. Think, man, think. This is how powerful addiction to this drug is. You took it a few times a year ago and look what you're doing. You're man-handling a friend. You're trying to force me. And look what it's done to me! I took an oath to do no harm. Look what I've done to you. You trusted me. You trusted me. I broke your trust. Like so many others. How could I do that to you? I could've chosen 12 other less addictive drugs to treat you with. But I didn't. I chose Tranquility. You have to believe me Bucky. You have to believe me. I didn't know at the time. I didn't have a plan. I didn't realize until Steve spoke. God forgive me. Then I knew. I knew . . . I loved it. I loved giving you Tranquility. I loved watching you. I love watching the drug work on you. I loved it. That's how sick and depraved and powerful this drug is over people. Look at yourself. Are you feeling rational right now? You can cover your ears all you want. You'll still hear what I'm saying. This is what it means. Addict. This is what it means. Junkie. Don't come another step, and let go of my jacket."

Buck let go of Banners lapels and stepped back.

"Mm mm." Buck squeaked. He placed his human fist between his eyes and his other hand on the back of his head and pressed – the acupressure technique Banner taught him – he found effective. Bucky stood for two full minutes. Both men took some deep slow breaths. Buck released himself. He rested his quiet hands by his side.

"How do we get out of this? I don't like any of the exit scenarios I can come up with. Is there nothing good that has come to you from taking this drug?"

"Tranquility created petite Hulk – the saver – the helper – the rescuer. I have no worries. No fear of Hulk. No guilt over the past . . . I can work like a demon."

"But you can't quit taking the drug?"

"I've basically made a lifetime commitment. Yes, it's my relationship . . . It's all my relationships. You have Natalie. You have Steve. You have your child. I have Tranquility."

"And you don't feel good about that?"

"No, I feel like a failure."

"Okay. Bruce. I'll make a lifetime commitment. And I won't feel like a failure. Now give me the drug. Give me the Tranquility." Buck's baritone reverberated off the tile walls.

"Goddamn you, Bucky." Banner lost his temper and slapped a full aerosol vial of Tranquility into Bucky's human hand.

Buck's reaction was an immediate gasp. He looked at the vial and back at Banner and back at the vial. His respirations increased, his eyelids fluttered, air rushed in and out of his mouth, his face flushed, his eyeballs rolled back into his head and his head loosened on its joint. He fell. He slid down the sink and wall. His face softened. He opened his hand, looked at the ampoule of Tranquility again, closed his hand and placed his hand over his chest. He clasped his metal hand over his human hand and held the ampoule over his heart.

"I can have it? You gave it to me? I don't believe it. I have it. Thank you. It's mine now. You gave it to me." He gasped for air - his head fell against the wall - his eyes rolled closed. "Thank you. I can take it. I can use it." He whispered, "I have it. I have it." He pressed the vial to his chest with all his might.

Banners eyes were like saucers as he witnessed the incredible behavior of Barnes who reacted to holding the canister of Tranquility as if he had taken the drug.

"You do know that holding that aerosol canister against your chest will not get the drug into your bloodstream. What the hell, Buck, are you not gonna use it?"

"I feel too good right now. Maybe later." Buck tossed the canister into his pants pocket, picked up his Band-Aid and jaunted out the bathroom door.

****

Banner inspected himself in the mirror. His sclera was lime colored and his skin was green tinged. How could he have this reaction with Tranquility on board? How could someone as youthful and angelic looking as Barnes scared the holy shit out of anyone?

Banner lingered a moment in the bathroom and took a long hard look at himself in the mirror. The drug created petite Hulk? What bunch of bull Banner thought. 

"I created petite Hulk." Banner said out loud to his reflection in the mirror. He looked at himself a long time.

****

When Bruce Banner join the others, Natalie instructed Tony on how to spring up on the surfboard, Tony, doing a good job of it. Banner sat by Steve and looked at Bucky who focused on Natalie, as usual.

"I don't know what to make of your friend Bucky. Is he a genius or an idiot?" Bruce said in all seriousness.

Steve burst out a laugh.

"Well said. I have the same problem." Cap whistled his military whistle to shake Buck's attention off Nat.

"Buck! Are you an idiot or a genius?" Steve asked.

Buck thought before he answered and said:

"Yes. Yes I am." He joined Natalie and Tony on the floor popping up.

"Well, there you have it – the answer of a true disciple," Cap said.

"Disciple of who?"

"Timothy Leary."

Natalie and Bucky went as far as taping off an outline of a surfboard on the floor with masking tape to teach Tony some footwork. For a man his age Tony was in top physical shape. He was well balanced, coordinated and flexible. He was tenacious. He would make a good surfer. After Natalie, Bucky and Tony popped up 300 times Steve was exhausted and went to the bar to make drinks. Bruce noticed Steve's awkwardness and approached the bar.

"Need some help?"

"What's a stinger? How do you make a stinger?"

"Cognac and Creme De Menthe."

"Oh. That sounds terrible." Steve made a sour face.

"How about some very dry very dirty Martinis?"

"Great."

"I'll tell you how to make a virgin Margarita for Natalie. Get the blender."

They turn the sound off on the surfing competition, hit the sofas to relax and tell stories. The subject? Surfing. They told the tall tales of surfers. They imitated the cadence and colloquialisms and surfing slang of the times. They sounded like they were speaking a foreign language. Steve was up first:

"One day we ran into Branch Gleason, the most famous surfer around in 1963. Everyone genuflected to this guy. He walked on the beach like he owned the world. He did. We were impressed. We stood around with goo-goo eyes and our mouths hanging open and here's Bucky." Steve imitated Bucky standing by his surfboard stuck in the sand. 

"Now, Bucky was known. Since day one he had a rep. Even before he went in the water he had folklore. That first day he was sunning his chest wounds on the beach, you remember how bad they looked and that slash across his face – brutal. Well, they looked even more gruesome the next day. A group of young surfer boys maybe 12, 13-year-old Mexican kids saw him and one was like 'dude'." Steve imitated the kids body posture and language. 

" 'Dude, what happened to you?' Buck was all stoic and said, 'knife fight'. The kids said, 'Well, gee whiz, what's the other guy look like'? Buck says totally straight faced, intense eyes and all, 'He's dead', he said. Well, the kid froze right in his tracks and Bucky seeing this quickly said, 'I'm joking'. Then they all got loosened up and Bucky blows it and says, 'He's only brain-dead'. They were like 100 times more scared and backed away from him. There he was all white and slashed up and those scary eyes. They looked at him like he was an escaped psychopath or something. One kid asked Buck in Spanish his name and Buck said, 'Diego'. The kid ran away from the scene and said, 'Diego El Diablo'." Steve said this with a pretty good Spanish accent. 

"Diego the devil. And I'm afraid it stuck – so this guy knew the story of Diego Diablo and Buck's reputation as a hotdog, an aggro. And, you know, Buck stands out on the beach. There's a maturity about him or something I don't know . . . but anyway. So this guy spies Buck. He walks through the crowd going out of his way to get to Diego here and he said to Bucky, 'Dude, the purpose of surfing is to see how long you can stay up on the board, man. I don't think anyone's ever told you that'." There was light laughter in the room.

Bucky said, "I thought it was a compliment. I was like thank you, thank you." Then the room exploded with laughter.

"Didn't you guys get nicknames?" Tony said to Natalie and Steve.

"After Buck got his, we decided we needed cover names so we continued the pattern of local towns. I picked Catalina and Steve picked Ventura. Later I spontaneously got Daisy and Cap got Ace, so we were set."

"Ace Ventura?" Tony laughed.

"What's so funny?" Steve asked.

"It's a movie from the 90s – you guys aren't even done with the 70s yet." Nat sprang up for her turn.

Steve looked at Bucky with a question mark in his eyes. 

"Beats me. Put it on the list." Buck said.

"One day the most unusual troublemaker Steve Rogers –" 

Steve cut her off. "You're not going to tell about that day are you?"

"Steve, you don't even know what happened that day. Not really. You'll be hearing it for the first time." 

Steve gave up.

"This was a day I'll never forget. It was heavy out there." She told the story like telling a ghost story around a campfire. 

"The kind of gray day where you can't tell where the sky ends and the water begins. No one was out. That should've given us a warning but we were newbies and thoroughly addicted. I remember Steve saying how we beat everyone out. Well, we set out. Buck and I came back in. You just couldn't surf. The wind blew you right off the surfboard if you managed to get up at all. You couldn't see a thing. We stood on the shore looking out for Steve. There was no sign of him. We waited past the point of comfort. It seemed an eternity. Luckily, Steve's board had bright orange writing on it and I saw a flash of orange. Buck swam out to it and by some miracle found him. He was underwater but still tethered to his board. He dragged him to shore. He was not breathing. We started CPR." Natalie and Bucky looked at Steve for a reaction. He had his hands up, palms up, and a shocked look on his face. 

"On the pulse check his heart was beating but, irregularly, and Buck activated the defibrillator feature on his arm. The feature said to shock him so we gave him the 360 joules required. 

"Thank you, Tony. God bless you Tony, for having the foresight to think beyond this prosthesis as a weapon. Thank you. 

"We resumed CPR. The minutes were ticking by into the permanent brain damage range. We just kept going. We were like robots weren't we Angel?" She said to Bucky who was reliving the day by the emotions on his face. 

"We were trained. We kept our heads. I remember the wind had picked up and blew gusts of stinging sand over us, in our eyes. Remember that Angel? It turned dark. It was cold. We shook. Steve was blue and so were you. I remember your lips were blue. We wouldn't give up. We would try anything. Finally, he began to breathe. We hovered around him. It was a long time before he was conscious. We try to warm him with the only thing we had – our bodies. He started to come around a bit. He shoved us off him." Her dramatic tone changed. 

"He got up, picked up Buck's board and started back out." Natalie imitated Steve pushing his way back out to the waves. 

"I stood in front of him. I blocked him." She demonstrated her body stance. 

"He walked around me. Buck stood in front of him." She showed Bucky's body stance. 

"Steve started to try to get by Buck and Buck tackled him, held him face down in the sand and gave him a sand facial. He would not have been able to control him if Steve had not been so weak. He flipped him over. Steve still fought him. Buck gave him three or four good slaps until Steve grabbed his hand and said, 'okay, okay'. 

"Another bit of luck, no one was on the beach to witness this incident. Bucky straddling over Steve, of course, he had to deactivate the human hologram on his arm to use the defibrillator and shock him with his fist and the bright arc of light and the seizure like reaction of Steve's body. Definitely against many of Dandalo's 44 rules for Time Travelers. There's more. We felt Steve should be in an ICU somewhere but he wouldn't hear of it. The rest of the day and evening we wouldn't take our eyes off of him. I felt like he was a bomb about to go off. Finally, poor Steve had enough, and he said, 'You're looking at me like I'm a bug and now you're following me to the bathroom? What's up with you guys?' He had no idea. Well now you do."

"I don't see what's such a big deal?" Steve's face was flushed with embarrassment. "Bucky drowned every day."

"That's true. I did."

"Yes, you did." Natalie bounced onto Bucky's lap. 

He felt her weight and her warmth on him. Steve watched Buck as he ran his human hand slowly up his own thigh, up her back, and repeated the gesture.

"Oh." Buck arched his back.

When Steve saw this, he knew the evening was over.

"Well," Steve slapped both hands on his knees. "Let's call it a day." 

Bucky sprang to attention.

"Midnight Banner?"

"Midnight Bucky."

****

The next morning Steve found Bucky reading on the Internet. He scrolled fast – brain computer interface something – it went by too fast for Steve to read.

"Are you reading that fast?"

"Oh . . . Yeah . . . I took a speed reading tutorial on YouTube. Wanna work out?" Buck stopped what he was doing and clicked off.

Buck made it his business to know when Tony slept. He slept the same four hours each night and when he put in his four hours he slept soundly. Bucky waited for this time to try something daring; something he thought Tony may put the nix on. If it worked, it could make all the difference. If his plan did not work, he would only have himself to blame.

Bucky gained access to the accessories closet by voice activation of the door. Inside he found the appliances and adapters used for his cybernetic arm and some new things, some things he could not identify. He located the hand adapter used to disrupt large electrical equipment, like a satellite dish, or a small nuclear weapon. He quickly changed the regulator to except rather than discharge. He turned on the computer, removed his cybernetic hand at the wrist – bayonet mount – and hooked himself to the hard drive. From there he was able to bypass his optic nerve and accept information, data, the ones and zeros, directly into his brain. Just like speed reading only faster.

Later that evening Steve saw Bucky back on the Internet in Tony's accessory closet. He saw Bucky's hand and the wires connected to the main frame.

"Are you still reading?"

"I don't have to read anymore."

"What do you do now?"

"Download."

Steve was shocked but didn't want to show his shock.

"What are you downloading?"

"Millions – hundreds of millions of items – data – everything." Bucky jerked. His eyes fluttered as another huge amount of data entered his brain. His bottom lip and chin trembled.

"You have to stop this," Steve pleaded, "stop and rest." Those statements got no reaction. "When will you stop?"

"I'll stop at the end."

"There is no end."

"You're wrong. There is an end."

"You're mind can't hold all that."

Bucky glanced up at Steve like he was imbued with the knowledge of the universe – which he was.

"Oh yes, it can."

Steve could no longer disguise his horror. Bucky's eyes look like the Children of the Damned.

"I'm getting Tony." Steve had panic in his voice.

"It's too late for that." Vapor trails rushed across Buck's blue iris as he jerked and his eyes fluttered again.

When Tony arrived Bucky sat motionless with his cybernetic arm detached from his body on the table with the cyborg hand along side. He held himself up with his human hand on his head. His elbow rested on the desk. He jerked oddly, like an electrical jolt was passed through him.

"Steve said you downloaded the Internet?

"No," Bucky held his head and acknowledged Tony peripherally. "80% of the Internet is virus laden. I can't corrupt myself with that."

"Well, what did you download then?" Tony tried to sound cool and casual.

"Oh, technical information, scientific data, research, a few more languages – like – all of them. All the rest I didn't have. I have them all now, even Xhosa." Bucky smiled at Steve and clicked his tongue on the X of Xhosa and said Xhosa again. "I can talk to her. I can teach you."

"What else?"

"Other things I'm interested in like oceanography, marine biology, etymology, molecular genetics, bio mechanics, bio chem, ecology, evolutionary biology, and of course biorobotics, neurorobotics and brain computer interface, I had to do that first . . . "

"Okay, okay."

"I tried to go into geopolitics but it was all contaminated." Bucky sounded so disappointed. He glanced in Tony's direction. Tony touched Bucky's chin and lifted his face for a closer look. Having poor boundaries Buck let him. Buck's eyes whirled like two fidget spinners. Tony did not look up but signaled to Steve. 

"Go get Banner." Tony pulled a chair up beside Bucky. He made a conscious decision to relax his shoulders, to take a deep breath – a few deep breaths – he made sure his voice sounded calm and casual without any hint of how much Tony was freaked out. Tony looked over the hardware. He looked over Bucky's cyborg hand laying there, detached, on the table.

"Ah hum. Well, if you're done, Buck. I can unhook you if you like. Give you back two hands?"

"Yeah sure, thank you." Bucky was distracted. He seemed to breath in only; a series of short inhalations in rapid succession.

Even though Tony's hands shook, he calmly, slowly proceeded to disconnect Bucky from the computer and re-connect his cybernetic hand. Bucky payed no attention. Every second a burst of light flashed across his cornea. His eyes and head jerked in a bizarre way.

"What's going on in there?" Tony said nonchalantly.

"Oh," Bucky said. "Making connections, ah, organizing, moving things, so many connections, new pathways. I . . . I may have to shut down." Bucky relaxed his body and let his head fall against the back of the chair. His face fell in the direct line of sight with Tony's. 

Buck's eyes flashed open. "Tony, don't be afraid," Bucky said, but Tony was afraid. Tony was white with fear.

"I think this will work," Bucky broke eye contact with Tony, shut his eyes and let out all his air. He did not move.

Steve returned with Banner. Tony noticed Banner's tranquilizer gun in his pocket. Tony motioned them to calm with a hand that trembled. Bucky resumed huge, deep, long, breaths, in his mouth and out with a haaaa. 

"What's happening?" Banner whispered.

"I think he overloaded himself."

"I hope you know none of this is even possible." Banner shook his head.

Tony reset Bucky cybernetic arm. The hand did a few involuntary movements.

"He said whatever he's up to is working so we wait. Banner, can you do an assessment without touching him?"

"Sure, he's obviously breathing, but if he continues that kind of breathing he will become acidotic, but oh well. He's pink so he's oxygenated. Look at his neck. His heart rate can be counted by his bounding carotid arteries. He's taching right along. I can see from across the room he is mentally not on the same planet with the rest of us. Want to know anything else?"

Buck's eyes opened and he sat straight in the chair. He glanced around the room and a broad smile crossed this face.

"Well," he shrugged, "I'm operational."

Tony raised his hand to keep Banner and Steve at bay. He relaxed himself again and made eye contact with Barnes. Buck's eyes looked glazed but no volcanic activity noted.

"Why did you take such a risk?"

"I can't be weak, sick or dumb anymore. I can't cry out in the night. It would wake our baby."

Tony checked Steve's reaction to the statement. He knew as Steve knew, Buck was a desperate man. He had been a desperate man since the knowledge of his fatherhood exploded in his brain. But none of them knew just how desperate Bucky really was.

"What was your inspiration for this act?"

"It was my ILLUMINE."

"Your ILLUMINE?" Tony threw his palms skyward and glanced at the boys.

"Yes Tony, it seemed illogical to me that some scientist would give me something as powerful as ILLUMINE without a way for me to use it. And I needed to use it. I needed the power. I was moving the nanite strings but at the rate I was going it would take forever. I needed energy now, so I tried the simplest thing first. What if my ILLUMINE activates only when I really need it, like when I fell from the train, like when they – when they- you know, hurt me. Like, like what if I was trying to out run a cheetah or something, like it would take my whole body's physiology to activate it. Like a sustained effort. I tried the physical but I'm not easily challenged that way. Then I thought of this."

"Did it work?"

"If your mitochondria can be felt. If you can feel the Krebs cycle kicking into high gear, then yes, I'm fully operational. Nanite string movement can be seen on PET scan. I suggest that test be done now. That would give us empirical proof. When is the neurologist coming? She may have ideas."

"Two days . . . We will run the test."

"Yes, I need every test you can give."

"Why didn't you come to me if you wanted to do this? We could have proceeded under a controlled laboratory experiment."

"On the chance that you'd say no and restrict me. Then I'd never have another chance."

"You thought I'd say no?"

"Sure, why would you let me do something you can't do? But believe me Tony, you don't want to go there. If I entered the wrong domain – made one small error - stay in one place too long – a virus would have shut me down. I wouldn't be able to function. It was really dangerous. What I did was really dangerous. Don't worry. I won't go back. I'll have to get updates and upgrades manually."

Tony laughed. A chuckle at first, then Tony went a little hysterical. Tears filled his eyes and smeared on to his face.

Bucky laughed along – at first. He stopped when the realization swept over him that Tony, Tony's hysterics, Tony's laughter to tears could only mean one thing . . . Tony cared. Tony cared about him. Not his arm, not his rehabilitation, but him. Despite himself Tony cared. Over insurmountable obstacles Tony cared. 

Buck glanced at Steve. Steve had seen a look like that on Bucky's face once before, 90 years ago, by the river, the day Bucky saw his father cry. Steve knew from this moment on, Bucky would be devoted to Tony the rest of his life and not because he had to make amends.

"Yeah, it was dangerous. Don't do it again." Tony laughed and wiped his eyes.

Everyone at Solaris needed sleep. Natalie headed under the covers for 12 hours, at least, she said. Bucky need 12 hours on BARF and the whole place shut down.

****

All residents of Solaris worked together to complete testing on Barnes and Romanova. Even with the help of Tony's army of robots and Jarvis the human crew put in a long day's work. That evening they ate together in the cinema room. Too tired to put on a movie they ate, drank and relaxed in silence.

"What do we know about this neurologist coming tomorrow?" Steve asked Bruce.

"Quite a lot. She was hand-picked. Her name is Dr. Trine Haugen. She's young. She's brilliant. She's Norwegian."

"Do you speak Norwegian?" Steve smiled at Bucky.

"As of yesterday, I do."

"Her father was a renowned neurologist – wrote the text books. Her mother is a not too shabby neurosurgeon that invented the Sonic Separator, the Tri-lazer Connector and the Back Brain Stimulator. The story goes, Trine knew neuroanatomy before the ABC's."

"I like her," Nat chimed in.

"She is impressive. She's an original thinker. She's not confined by the box."

"Then she won't be shocked by a cyborg?" Bucky always cautious, always aware of what he considered his freak status.

"She won't be shocked by anything. Her hobby is the neuropathology of the criminal mind."

"They have a pathology? I didn't know . . . that wasn't available knowledge for download," Bucky said.

"No one knows yet. She just discovered it. She's not yet published."

"You're saying criminals can be cured?" Steve said.

"We're going to have some interesting conversations. She can stay all week. She has no practice. She just does consultations like this."

Banner staffed the bar and took orders. Buck was first up.

"Why do you always make the drinks?"

"Oh, I don't know, maybe because I'm originally a chemist. What can I get you?"

"Tequila . . . Something."

"How about a Tequila Sunrise?"

"What's in it?"

"You mean you don't know."

"Come on, that wasn't on the top of my priority list."

"Want to learn?"

"Really? Yeah! Sure!" Buck's face brightened. 

Banner picked up The Ultimate Bar Book and laid the book in front of Barnes with a whack. "I don't think you downloaded this."

"Bucky flipped through each page as he sipped his tequila sunrise. When he reached the end, he closed the book and handed it back to Banner.

"Got it," he said.

Banner removed himself from behind the bar. He motioned Bucky to take the reins.

"Wait a minute there – I'm not ready to solo. Memorizing formulas is one thing. I'm sure there's more to bartending than that."

Banner stayed close, watched, and made comments like, 'always put a napkin down first – no not with a can – use coarse salt for this, fine salt for that'.

Within 90 minutes of Barnes bartending everyone slurred their words. Seems Bucky's thinking went like this; if the drink called for 2 ounces of alcohol, 4 ounces would be twice is good.

All residents of Solaris learned a good lesson this night; increased intelligence does not in any way mean improved judgment. It was time for Steve to call it a night, but Steve was in no shape to remember, instead he had Tony cornered, bending his ear.

"When you are out there on the waves a while," Steve waxed nostalgic. "Day after day. All day. It takes a while. When I felt it for the first time – when I let myself feel it. I'll never forget the moment. The struggle to stay up. Your battle to control the board. To dominate the wave. Your desire to tame the wave to beat it into compliance with your board – to submit to your board. Maybe I just got tired. Maybe I just gave up for a second. Just one moment but in that moment you see the truth like a flash." Uncoordinated, Steve waved his hands around. 

"The wave, the board, myself were all one. I know, I know this sounds like I was high on drugs or fatigue substances but there are many paths to the truth. And that truth changed everything. I was the board. I was the wave. I was nature. I was a part of nature. I was connected to nature. Me, Steve Rogers. I wasn't separate. Do you know what that means? To belong? There was no fight. No struggle. No need to master, or control, or dominate because it's you. You are nature. That's when you become a surfer. That's when you become a human being. This happens to all surfers. It's all they talk about, in one way or another. It's all you think about. And there is no going back. You're changed forever. It changes you. It changes your values. Your opinions. Your relationships. Your relationship with the world. Your relationship with your own body. I always treated my body like it was a machine that I fueled up and beat into a performance. I never allowed my body to feel pleasure, like with a girl, or even food, or the pleasure of movement, or the pleasure of sleep, or even companionship. 

"And I changed. I allowed myself to feel the love I have for Bucky and Nat, and even you Tony. I know you guys tease me about my beach bunnies, but I never had that. And when I say I'm jonesin' for a wave, what I'm really saying is that I want to feel that feeling again. I want to commune with nature. I want to belong, as ridiculous as that sounds. I want a reminder. I want to remember what I really am. I want to go home. So Tony, I'm asking you with all my heart. Have mercy on me. Order me a wetsuit and a board. I've got to go out."

"Yeah you're going out all right. Come on Ace. You need to sleep it off." Natalie handled one of Steve's arms, Bucky took the other, and they headed him for the door. 

"He knows he can't go in the water here. He knows it's too polluted. He'll be okay." Buck said to Tony as they passed out the door.

"I thought he couldn't get drunk," Tony said to Bruce.

"He never had Bucky for a bartender. You know, he memorized that bartenders guide in like four minutes."

"Damn." 

The lights automatically shut off as Tony and Bruce left the room.

****

Dr. Trine Haugen M.D., PhD, ABNS, FCPS, FACS, MRCS, was not at all what anyone expected. She was shockingly young, shockingly tall, shockingly blonde. Her white hair was wild, shoulder length, curly in spots, straight in spots, darker at the roots and more blonde as it reaches the white tips. Her eyebrows were bushy, white and never plucked. She wore no makeup. She was carelessly dressed, and carelessly coffered. She wore a perpetual frown on her brow, always appeared irritated, and never made direct eye contact. She looked the stereotypical absent-minded professor; a perfect example of a mad scientist.

Banner, Buck, and Tony readied the lab. All Buck's tests displayed, all results at her fingertips. She took a long look at Bucky's PET scan.

"What is this? You call me here for a joke? You call me all the way to play a trick on me? Is this an American style practical joke?"

"No, no what is it?" Tony could not hide the shock in his voice.

"There is indication of neurogenesis in this brain. That is impossible."

"I assure you, this is legitimate."

"Is this an embryonic brain? Does anyone in this room see an embryonic brain – no – this is an adult brain. Everyone out. I have to study this. Out. Out. Out."

Tony and Bruce and Bucky sheepishly left the room.

"Let's go to my spy center. We can at least watch her."

"Not me. I can't stand the suspense. I'm crinkling. I'll be in my therapeutic room. Maybe Natalie can smooth me out."

SIXTEEN HOURS LATER

Tensions were so high at Solaris that the team spontaneously congregated in the cinema room. Barnes attempted to ease the tension by dressing up for his job behind the bar. He wore a white sleeveless Under Armour T-shirt and a black lightweight jogging suit, also Under Armour. Natalie shaved him as close as humanly possible, and she slicked his hair back into a picturesque knot. He smiled as he snapped a black bowtie across his collarless neck. He had done all the bar back and was open for business. Natalie curled up on the sofa with the beautifully photographed Fritz Lang German language masterpiece "M" on low-volume in the background. Steve sat at her feet reading William L. Shirer's "Rise and Fall of the Third Reich". Banner hung at the bar with a drink in his hand. He encouraged his student. Tony plopped down on the barstool by Banner with the sigh. When Tony got a load of the bartender he laughed large. Tony laughed his authentic laugh. The laugh everyone loved to hear. The laugh everyone loved to laugh along with.

"What can I get you, sir?" Bucky puffed out his chest.

"A Singapore Sling."

Barnes remove the appropriate glass and started the nine ingredient drink.

"You can't throw him." Now, Bruce puffed his chest, proud of his prodigy.

"Okay, okay, stop, I changed my mind. Scotch on the rocks."

"What brand, sir?"

"Chevis Regal will do." Tony turned to Banner and spoke low.   
"16 hours, she's been in there 16 hours with Jarvis and the robots. I've sent in food, drinks, more food, more drinks. What can she be doing?" Buck delivered the drink.

"Anything else?"

"Yes, I'd like a large glass filled with ice and sparkling water."

"Perrier?"

"No. No. No. Something else. Anything else."

Buck had to leave the room and go to the main kitchen for the anything else.

"Oh, Tony. What did we miss?"

"AH, we knew the guy had some permanent damage done but 16 hours? What could we have possibly missed?"

"I am feeling fear." Banner finished a drink.

"I have not been this on edge in years."

"Maybe we should've had him in some conventional rehab center in Switzerland or something. Maybe our arrogance . . . "

"You mean MY arrogance. Damn . . . I've treated him like a machine – like he's one of my personal robots."

Buck returned and poured the Badoit. Natalie slid a stool across the floor and pushed it between Banner and Tony. Buck leaned on the bar, looked out at the movie and waited for the next order. He rested his hands on the bar.

"Angel," Natalie said, "your hand." She placed her hand on his cybernetic hand.

Tony and Bruce glanced at Bucky's hand – his metal hand - and his large expanding pupils. Buck tucked his hand under the bar and lowered his eyes from view.

"It started happening . . . on its own . . . about an hour ago."

"What's the matter?"

"I'm . . . afraid." Buck stood at attention behind the bar. He held his human hand over his mechanical arm like a shield. Tony, Bruce and Nat stared at him with sympathetic eyes. They were afraid too. They were afraid of what the doctor was going to say about Buck's brain.

"It's going to be bad. I feel it. I'm going to get a bad diagnosis. It has to be. They did too much – "

Dr. Trine Haugen led by two of Tony's personal robots entered the cinema room. All eyes were on her.

"Is every member of the treatment team present?" She said loudly. Tony shot out of his seat, followed by Banner, Nat and Steve.

"Dandalo is not here but will come if needed." Tony said followed by a tense silence.

"Can I serve you a drink?" Bucky attracted her attention behind the bar.

"What kind of vodka do you have?"

"We have stocked Vikingfjord for you ma'am."

"Straight up," she said. She addressed the room in a loud voice. "Please be seated in your usual casual way. There is so much tension in this room," she shuttered. "Please, there is no reason for all this apprehension. Where is my patient, James Barnes?"

"Here, ma'am."

Trine pointed to Tony and Bruce.

"He's your lab assistant? He's your bartender?" 

"No!" shot Bruce.

"No, it's just a joke. I mean, it's not a joke. I can explain." Tony stammered.

"I'm just learning." Bucky snapped off his tie and slipped off his jacket. He came from around the bar to reveal his cybernetic arm fully metal. He carried it with the hand in a fist.

"Your James Buchanan Barnes?"

"Yes I am."

"Date of birth, August 10, 1917?"

"Exactly right."

Dr. Trine Haugen shut her eyes a moment. She took a deep breath. Even as young as she was, as a neurologist, she had consulted on cases that ranged from the odd, to the strange, to the bizarre. This was by far the strangest case she had consulted on, she thought, as she looked at a 100 + year old man that did not look a day over 21 years of age. She looked at his face and his terrifying cybernetic arm.

"You are as pale as a ghost, my man. I strongly suggest you sit."

"Yes." Bucky sat at the table by the doctor.

"There is no reason for despair. No reason whatsoever. Your issues are complex, yes, but not desperate. I repeat this is not a desperate situation. I am not leaving here until all issues are dealt with. I am not leaving until an action plan, agreed-upon by all, is in place. Okay?"

Buck nodded affirmative.

"Now, I want to instruct YOU. Watch." Trine walked to the bar. She picked up the bottle of Vikingfjord vodka. She picked up the shot glasses. She set the vodka and glasses in front of Buck with a snap.

"This is all you need to know to be a bartender."

Laughter broke the ice in the room like global warming.

"I see some I have not met."

"My apologies. This is Natalia Romanova, my lover, and Steve Rogers, my best friend."

"Nat or Natalie is fine."

Trine stood and shook Natalie's hand. She touched her shoulder and said, "Very nice to meet you." She turned to do the same with Steve, but she stopped. She stared into his face as their matching blue eyes met. She literally scanned his form down to his feet and back up to his face. Her mouth was in the shape of an O. Steve appeared to have been hit in the head with a lightning bolt as he stood dumbfounded. Trine mobilized herself and completed the formalities. The pause was only a few seconds. No one even noticed . . . except Natalie.

"Now, please, everyone to their customary comfort spaces."

Bucky filled all the shot glasses which were picked up immediately. Natalie took the sofa, Buck joined her there. Banner sat on four big pillows stacked on the floor by Nat. Steve sat in his straight chair. Dr. Haugen sat on the opposite end of the sofa from Nat and Buck. Tony did not sit on the floor by Banner, instead he sat on his million dollar coffee table. Steve flipped off the movie and pulled his chair close in by Trine. They made a cozy circle.

"SKAL!" Trine Haugen toasted and she downed her vodka.

"I know the talk, the ominous brain damage, brain damage. These are more correctly brain injuries. Injuries to the brain. They come in three kinds: traumatic brain injury, concussive brain injury, and hypoxic brain injury. I am sorry to inform you, James, you have all three types. Now, let me say you also have one hundred million neurons in your brain to play around with. So, if you happen to lose a few, what's the big deal, right? A lot depends on where the brain injury occurs. If you have ever considered yourself lucky, you are lucky in this area. If the extent of your brain injury had been in other areas you would be in a desperate situation. And you are functioning, right? Here you are in front of us all, with a working brain. After all, you're a bartender, you work in the lab, right? Brain injuries like yours are very hard to predict in outcomes. But I will try. First I need more information."

Bucky and Natalie sat cockeyed on the sofa. He sat with his back against the sofa arm, she tucked up against him. They faced his doctor. His human arm stretched over the back of the sofa. His cybernetic arm laid across her lap. She held his clenched metal fist in her hands.

"I realize you have limited knowledge of events, but you may have some knowledge of the hypoxic brain injury. This type is caused by oxygen deprivation to the brain. Can you remember any incident that could cause oxygen deprivation? This would be a cardiac arrest, respiratory arrest, an accident, an injury, a situation where you were cut off from oxygen, James, anyone?"

"Maybe I can," Buck said. Natalie turned to look at him with big eyes. "Natalie, I'm sorry I never told you this before. I meant to tell you but there has just been so much.

"There was a rumor I hung myself and died and they brought me back. I really didn't believe that. I didn't believe that I would do that. Then there was the counter rumor that they had played too rough with me, I died and they brought me back. The counter rumor seemed more likely true. It was common practice to cover the death of a prisoner, someone in interrogation, someone being tortured, or someone being used by the medical division, to cover the death with a suicide story."

"That's a highly likely explanation." Dr. Haugen flipped her papers to move on.

"Oh," said Natalie. "There was another incident. This was many years ago. I was 14 years old. I was in training, and they defrosted this one." She jiggled Bucky's cybernetic arm. "They defrosted him to instruct me in some special skills he was expert in, close quarters combat grappling, a technique known today is Systema and the silent kill. Things like that. This was before the Winter Soldier program, before the bionic arm." She jiggled Bucky's arm again. "He was known only as Soldier. He did not know his name. He had complete amnesia for anything before that moment and believe me they wanted to keep it that way." She turned to Bucky. "I couldn't help loving him." She looked back at Bucky her eyes moistened. They embraced. She held him in the embrace. "We were forced to try an escape. Quite by accident he was shot twice in the chest. I watched him die."

"Yet, here he is."

"When the medical helicopter arrived the team put him on a ventilator, and a machine that did cardiac compressions. He was dead. I saw their assessment. His pupils were dilated. He was not breathing, he had no heartbeat. But the commander ordered everything to be done. That's the last I saw. I was taken away."

"I see, that would explain the test results. Thank you. I can see everyone is emotional over this tragic story. We can break."

"No, I'm fine."

"Let's go on."

"Any questions so far?"

"If concussive brain injury can only be diagnosed on autopsy. Why are you sure he has that also?" Dr. Banner asked.

"The extent of injury dictates such a high probability for me to be sure. Some, or all of what you're calling PTSD symptoms may be caused by CBI."

"Wait, you're saying . . . but concussive brain injury is chronic. It gets worse over time. Those people. Those poor people go mad. PTSD gets better over time even cured, I . . . "

"Yes, but in your favor again. Your treatment for PTSD has been working? Correct?"

"Why yes it has."

"There's no way to know for sure. This is an unknown. It takes courage to face the unknown. More questions? If not, we move on. Well then. How does one get out of a predicament like you're in? Well, it's already happening. Your brain has made a nice job of making fine connections around the injuries creating the neuroplasticity that is so desirable. This process is extensive throughout your brain, another stroke of luck in your favor. I'm leaning towards a hypothesis that even though in stasis your time in cryo-freeze rested your brain in some way, but that's another five years of research. Then I come to your big break. The ILLUMINE in your blood, in your body, has been activated."

Tony jumped to his feet, "I have to call Dandalo." Tony discreetly set a message to Dandalo.

"The ILLUMINE has been activated by your own physiology and has been active to some extent for some time. The ILLUMINE has permeated the cell membrane and is being used in the powerhouse of the cell. Should I be more technical?"

"Please don't," Steve said.

"And here is the most astonishing – when the ILLUMINE is used by the cell as energy this process produces a by-product. The waste material is excreted by the cell, combines with metal ions abundantly found in the body to make more ILLUMINE. This re-uptake feedback loop will provide an unlimited power source, an unending fuel source, for the cell."

"Fuel for the cell to do what?" Natalie asked.

"To do what the chromosomes command. Repair, repair, repair. This process is repairing your damaged neurons right now. I know what I just said is impossible, this is all impossible, but nevertheless, neurogenesis is happening right now in your brain." She tapped her hand on the desk in cadence with the last seven words.

"Is this why he doesn't scar?"

"Yes, Nat, excellent deduction."

"This process, this reuptake of the ILLUMINE can go on indefinitely?" Tony said.

"Yes."

"Do you realize what that sounds like?"

"What's that sound like? What's that sound like?" Steve said.

"Are you saying immortality?" Banner suggested.

"I'm trying not to," Trine turned to Barnes. "If you are damaged enough to need stitches. How long before the scar is completely gone?"

"About three months."

"And that was before – " Dr. Haugen waved her arms around the room. "What you did last night with the computer interface accelerated the process. I don't know how much at this point. We could retest in one week and see. But immortality? If he were decapitated, he would die. If eviscerated - he'd die – dismembered - he'd die - cut an artery without any support - he'd die – any extravagant damage - he'd die - but given enough time to repair – immortality?"

"Natalie has ILLUMINE in her blood. The fetus . . . double!" Bruce exclaimed.

"My first thought on that subject is the ILLUMINE is sexually transmitted . . . Now, of course that's just a starting point . . . Okay. People. Let's focus. Let's look at one another. We are the team. We, here in this room, and Dandalo. We are IT. We will sit here at Solaris, in this paradise, until we get an understanding of this remarkable discovery. I know the wild thoughts you are having right now. I had them for sixteen hours in your lab. Let's keep our heads. I don't have to tell you how top-secret this is until we have all the facts and a clear path to move forward. We may be thinking that we are not the best ones to do this. We may think we are not smart enough, strong enough or moral enough. We are. We have to be. We are the brains, right here, right now, that have been given this monumental task. We will rise to the occasion. Are we together?"

Bucky poured the shot glasses full. The team agreed on one subject; they downed the shot of vodka.

"I am unable to form any more coherent sentences. I must sleep. I know I've given you all a lot to digest." Dr. Trine Haugen said. "One last thing. James, I need a semen sample. Now."

"Are you kidding me? I have never been this tense in my life."

"Here is the collection condom and container. Now, use all your amazing powers. You have a mechanical arm, for Christ sake's, so fill it up." The doctor slapped the container into Bucky's human hand.

"I would never use my . . . " Buck protested.

"And James?" Trine interrupted him. "As part of my assessment I would like to follow you all day tomorrow on your normal routine. You do have a normal routine around here, don't you?"

"Yes! We do. We certainly do. We'd love to have you join us." Steve smiled big and literally batted his eyes.

"Well then. Can someone please show me to my room?"

"I am your man." Steve stood tall.

"James, when you're done, take the container to the lab for analysis."

Dr. Trine Haugen picked up the Vikingfjord bottle and left the room with Steve. Tony, Banner, Natalie and Buck stared at the empty shot glasses and the shot glass rings all over Tony's exquisite table. 

Natalie's gaze wandered to Buck. The hologram had activated on his cybernetic arm his face looked less distressed. She waved her hands up and down his countenance without touching him.

"Look at you. You're not desirable enough as you are, as is – you have to add sexually transmitted immortality?"

"Yeah, dude." Banner cozied up to Buck playfully. "Wanna stop by the lab and look at my etchings?"

"You can't be joking about this."

"Come here, handsome." Tony teased.

"That's enough." Buck snapped his bow tie around his neck and stood behind the bar. "Come up – bar's open."

Natalie, Tony and Banner milled around, sat at the bar and had a few. Bucky, not drinking, stood behind the bar. His mind wandered. He stared off into space.

"Bucky?"

"I know you're joking but it's just not true. It can't be true. I'm gonna die. I can't live. I have to die. I have to die a horrific death. I'm going to die a gruesome, violent, painful death. That's the one sure thing I've always known."

Tony jumped on that. "It's just speculation, man."

Natalie did not like the way Buck sounded. She did not like the way he looked. She did not like his tone of voice. She did not like what he said. She walked behind the bar for a closer look.

"We're going home now."

****

Down the hall Natalie touched Bucky's cybernetic arm and noticed the arm was metal again.

"Oh no, not again." Buck tried so hard to control his emotions.

Natalie muscled his human arm. She stopped him dead in his tracks. She held him by the shoulders. She shook him.

"I'm going to fix this. Look at me. I will fix this. Come on."

Bucky entered their room first. She slammed the door.

"Take off your clothes."

"Now?" Buck was shocked.

"Talking will not get you out of the headspace you're in." She had seen this before on the plane from Wakanda. Conventional methods did not work then. She had not been able to reach him. She would have to get drastic.

"But, I - "

"The time for talking is past. Take off all your clothes. NOW."

Buck did not hesitate. He was given a direct order. He complied and took off all his clothing. He sighed with relief, not the relief of been nude, even though, somehow that did make him feel better. This was more the relief of not having to think for himself. The relief of following orders. 

"Sit in your chair."

Again, Buck did what he was told.

"Put your arms down the back of the chair."

He did. Natalie tied his arms above the elbows with a silk rope. She worked toward his shoulders, circling the rope again and again and again and she pulled the rope tight, forcing his chest to expand and his back to bow. She did the same with his arms below the elbow. She circled the rope many times. She did the same with the wrists. She worked quickly. She worked expertly. She tied his arms to the back of the chair. His cybernetic arm looked human already.

"Ha." She said. She circled his chest with the rope starting at his nipple and worked up over his pecs. She circled around many times and pulled tighter with each circle. He watched her. His breathing deepened as the muscles of his chest pushed against the rope.

"Ah . . . " he sighed. 

She slid her hands between his thighs. 

She spread his legs. 

"Ahhh um . . . " he moaned. 

She tied his thighs to the chair, above the knees and circled them with the rope. He moaned again. A second later he moaned a third time. She taped his calves above the ankles to the chair leg with duct tape. He watched her rip off a short piece of tape. She placed the tape over his eyes. 

"Oh . . . " he said. He flexed his muscles against the restraints and growled softly. He forgot everything. He made a soft noise from the back of his throat. His breathing quickened with anticipation. 

She let him sit like that for a long time. He heard the bathwater rush out of the faucet and hit the tub full force. The room telephone rang.

"Hello," Natalie said in her gravelly smoky voice. "Yeah, Steve sure. I know. He wants to talk to you too, badly. But um – he's tied up right now. Okay - yeah. He'll call you. Oh yeah? Ha ha Ha. Okay bye." Bucky heard the phone tap the table. 

He inhaled her scent. The air rushed around her activity. He tensed up. She ran something sharp slowly over his thighs above the rope. All his muscles contracted. He could not help but cry out. He knew he would feel blood running down his legs but he never did. She touched him with the sharp ice many more times. 

She straddled over him. She touched his face, his neck, his lips, his mouth. She opened his mouth with her hands. But did not give him any satisfaction. She touched his tongue. He involuntarily moved his mouth and tongue with a jerk.

"Oh, oh," he repeated many times.

She untied the knot of hair she so carefully fixed on the back of his head. She ran both hands over his temples, into his hair. She shook his hair out free. She didn't let go. She controlled his head by the wad of hair she gripped. She pulled his head back by his hair. She did nothing for a few minutes. His mouth remained open. His mouth searched the air like a bird. His mouth reached at the air. He searched with his tongue. He breathed in and out through his mouth. She touched his jaw and held his head. She touched his lips and tongue, but she did not kiss him. He contracted his muscles and pulled at the ropes to test their limits. He pushed his chest muscles into the restraint with his breath. With each breath he pushed the ropes and sighed. She held his head by his hair and lowered herself onto his lap but only for a moment. She brought her love to him like that many times and took it away many times – give – take away – give – take away. She took her time.

She was the sea, he was the shore and she washed over him. It was sublime. He reached such a heightened state of arousal he became ecstatic. He moaned nonstop. He trembled. She saw tears escape the duct tape over his eyes. His muscles were so taut, so tightly stretched; his penis, so engorged with blood, it looked like it could split open. It looked beautiful like that. He looked beautiful tied like that. She knew she was home. He panted for air. He could not control his verbal serenade. She could have held him in that state indefinitely. She was tempted to do just that but his human hand was blue. She had tied him too tight. Out of practice, she thought. She untied him and nature took it's course.

45 seconds. In 45 seconds she ran the full specimen container to the lab and returned to her lover. He was laid out. He was softened. He was pliable. She filled his mind. She filled the world. They did what lovers do.

"You're better than Tranquility," he whispered in her ear. They took their time satisfying their passions.

"Why did you turn on the water like that?"

Inches from his face she smiled, "to cover your screams."

"You little devil."

****

And so this went on for hours until the clock struck midnight. They packed up and headed to the BARF machine. 

On their way they knocked at Steve's door – no answer – they knocked louder– no answer.

"Jarvis, locate Steve Rogers."

"Steve Rogers resides in the room assigned to Dr. Trine Haugen room number 12."

"Seriously? A year of beach bunnies and now he's a womanizer?" Bucky threw his hand in the air. 

"He's hardly a womanizer."

"I thought he was in love with Xhosa?"

"Didn't you see the way they looked at each other when they met?"

"Yeah, I thought he looked pretty stupid there for a minute." He did notice.

She put her hands under his arms and slid them up his back. She peered into his sweet face.  
"It happened to us like that." Her voice rumbled with emotion.

He encircled her with his arms. He held her head against his chest so she could not see his face. He squeezed his eyes shut tight. At last, he remembered. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her eye lids, her forehead and all around her face.  
"It's happening to me like that right now." He kissed her passionately on the lips.

****

Banner warmed up the BARF machine as soon as they rounded the corner. They went right to sleep.

Around 3 AM Banner jolted awake to the sound of Bucky who yelled out. Banner rushed in to find him sitting on the gurney covered in perspiration. He was still asleep but Natalie was waking beside him.

"Wake up. Buck. Wake up," Bruce shook him awake.

"What? I, I was dreaming," he wiped the sweat from his face.

"Can you recall the dream? The machine recognized one minute of a blur." 

Natalie was awake and eager to hear. Buck's breathing slowed. He looked puzzled. 

"I was in the bay of a large spacecraft, not Dandalo's. The bay door was open to this vast black space. I was weightless. I floated. I looked out the bay door at the expanse. I felt a snap and a crack appeared on the shoulder of my cybernetic arm. I tried to stop the crack but it spread. I yelled out but the crack got bigger and I yelled louder and louder and the arm cracked off. My arm broke off. It floated away from me. I heard another snap and a crack appear on the shoulder of my human arm. I yelled out. I woke up. It was so real. I could draw every detail of that ship." Buck checked his cybernetic arm for cracks.

"You guys can get your things and go sleep in your own bed. You are cured. Well, of this part – your dream treatment, at least. That was a normal, human, regular old nightmare. Very interesting but unrelated to PTSD or your past. You have graduated, my man, your dreams are your own. I've been waiting for this day. What else you have to go through now is not from your dreams. You can go. I've got to power down."

Natalie and Bucky thanked Bruce 1 million times, hugged and kissed him and went home. 

****

For the morning run on the beach it was found that Trine was not the caliber of athlete Xhosa was but she did biathlon. She cross country skied, downhill skied, ice skated and was a vicious ice hockey player. 

The day was overcast, damp and cold. It was obvious Steve and Trine were twitterpated. They were sickening. 

Buck and Steve pulled ahead of the girls.  
"You were in her room all night?" Bucky said. 

"Yeah, I called to tell you." Steve looked guilty.

"You cheated on Xhosa? You said you were in love with her."

"Buck, you've gotta come on board the modern world, man. Xhosa is married, separated, yes, but we had no agreement."

"Well, I've got news for you. Bruce released me from BARF. So, I won't be staying sick just to keep you in medical professionals to sleep with." He slowed his pace to join the girls.

"Bucky, come back." Steve yelled and Buck sped up.

"That's great news. Congratulations, but um, what do you think of her? What do you think of Trine?"

"What do you think I think of her? She's my Neurologist, she scares the Holy sh - "

"Come on, man. What do you think of HER, the person?"

"She's a – she's like the wild Arabian ponies we saw in Ben Hur."

"Yeah," Steve would not have thought of her like that, but it was an accurate description.  
"Ever play ice hockey?"

"No, but Natalie does."

Natalie caught up with Buck and Steve. "Banner just texted me our tests are ready to be discussed. He said no hurry. We can finish."

"No way. Let's go now."

****

Danado arrived at Solaris with two scientist friends in tow. Two experts in the study of the mysterious element found in the blood of James Barnes. The element they named ILLUMINE. Both scientists were Androgyns like Dandalo from the planet Torn.

Thabre, was a cousin of Dandalo's. A molecular biologist. Thabre's expertise lay in the area of WMD's, all radiological weapons, cobalt bombs, neutron bombs, subatomic weapons, sonic bombs, fusion and nuclear and of course chemical and biological weapons. Thabre got on board the ILLUMINE bandwagon as a consultant investigating ILLUMINE's possible use as a weapon. 

The third member of the delegation was Blixa a close friend of Thabres, a geneticist, embryologist, neonatologist: a highly regarded field. Reproduction on Torn was a complex endeavor. Blixa also consulted on the ILLUMINE enigma. 

Dandalo, Thabre and Blixa considered their interest in ILLUMINE similar to a hobby that bordered on obsession. Dandalo, Captain of a large science space craft, answered directly to the government of Torn, refrained from sharing Tony's news of the activation of the ILLUMINE. Instead Dandalo chose to ask for and was granted a personal leave of absence. Blixa and Thabre had done the same with their respective medical and military superiors. Tony was heartened to learn no one in the galaxy wanted to turn over such information to their governments without first letting scientists discover the true nature and magnitude of the mysterious element, ILLUMINE.

Tony was fascinated with the new arrivals. Thabre and Blixa had many characteristics similar to Dandalo. Same androgyny, same small muscular humanoid body with feline grace. You could study them for 50 years and not decide if they were male or female. 

Thabre was a good half foot taller than Dandalo with cedar colored, tentacled, chin length hair and caramel toned skin color. The eyes were blue, many shades of blue travel across those eyes. When emotion was on the creature, as it frequently was, the eyes exploded with greens and silver. 

Blixa was attractive like a shiny diamond in a sea of pebbles. One of the smallest of the Torn race, Blixa was delicate, with honey colored shoulder length hair the consistency of corn silk that seemed to wave around even in the slightest breeze. A rich wheat colored skin and the most striking large golden eyes. Bright yellow sparks shot across the iris, like solar flares. They both had the same round face, broad mouth, and the same sharp little teeth. They wore similarly styled clothes, nature colors with fabrics patterned of flora. Blixa wore many shades of yellow that lit up the room. They were fascinating organisms. 

The attractiveness of these beings cannot be overstated. All Androgyns from Torn possessed a powerful sexuality. Tony learned of this firsthand from Dandalo. Their ability to seduce was unmatched in the known Milky Way. They secreted a number of fragrances from their pores that acted like pheromones to some species, as catnap to others or just a pleasant attractive scent. This bait had been known to be so strong, the scent could intoxicate like alcohol to the point of making their intended giddy, uncoordinated, and even stagger and fall. Their scent may draw one near, but their eyes hypnotized. The color change in their large cornea created a kaleidoscope of patterned movement that amazed then dazzled the viewer and drew them into the patterns. The closer one got the stronger the fragrances. The Androgyns possessed empathetic skills to some degree, some extremely so. They adjusted their emotional responses to their intended's perceived attraction to masculine/feminine traits to such an extent the intended was unaware. This process was micropsychic. They were not above using all their considerable skills to seduce an enemy and kill them with their bared teeth in the throes of passion.

Tony called a soirée in the living room with the big fireplace. Steve had not been in this room since his first arrival at Solaris approaching two years ago. The fireplace raged, and the ocean beat out its song, just as before. Tony and Dandalo stood by a great table spread with assorted ethnic hors d'oeuvres, each dish label with the name of the food, and country of origin. Thabre and Blixa stood by the glass wall that looked over the sun and sea. 

They were curious folk. Socially, their behavior was friendly and open. Their large eyes shined and they had baby faced smiles. They were calm, relaxed, courteous and polite. 

Steve read how vicious Dandalo's race could be in a fight. They fought on all fours. Their jaw expanded making their sharp-toothed bite deadly. They had the ability to excrete a venom, at will, that would paralyze their victims as they, effectively, chewed them up. Steve held this image in his mind as Tony introduced him to Thabre and Blixa. Their large luminous eyes show their emotions physically. As they studied Steve, little explosions of color crossed their corneas. 

Thabre said to Dandalo. "A male?"

"Yes," Dandalo replied and explained further to Steve. "I have been all around the galaxy. I have seen many things. Thabre and Blixa have not been off our home planet. Tony was the first male they had ever seen. You're the second. They are scientist, they are extremely curious about male and female. Please pardon their overzealousness."

"No problem, they're charming."

Bucky entered alone. He wore a large smile, black warm up slacks and a blue long sleeved Under Armour shirt with a gold rim at the neck and wrist: the blue, the same blue color of his eyes. His shining hair, unrestrained, waved every which way. The setting sun hit him like a warm beacon. His skin glowed and he seemed to radiate warmth. His smile and clear blue eyes flashed in the sun. At this sight Thabre inhaled a huge amount of air and showed a bit too much tooth and too many colorful explosions danced around the large expressive eyes.

"Is that another male?" Thabre held Dandalo's arm. "Now, that is beautiful."

"I think the correct word for the male is handsome. Beautiful is for the female."

"That is beautiful and handsome," Thabre read Steve's reaction and added, "is that yours?"

Steve could not tell if Thabre wanted to have dinner with Bucky or to have Bucky for dinner. Steve stammered:

"What? That?" he pointed to Bucky, "Oh, yeah, you want to do mischief, and you want that? – Yeah - you have to go through me." Steve puffed his chest and blocked Thabre's view of Bucky.

"Well, well, well," Thabre backed down but moved to look around Steve and restored the sight line of Bucky. "I may not be speaking of pain, per se, but pleasure?"

"What? Oh, that, well, he can use all the pleasure he can get. But for that you'd have to go through Black Widow, so it's the same difference." Cap stood firm and added hands on hips to his puffed out chest.

"And there she is."

Blixa grabbed Thabre's arm, "look, a female."

"Is that a female?" Thabre said to Steve. 

Dr. Bruce Banner walked in right behind her, "and another male?" 

Dr. Trine Haugen entered, "and another female?"

"Now you're cooking," Cap answered sarcastically then added for intergalactic relationships. "Yes, Thabre, you are correct on all counts," Steve said politely.

Steve made a beeline to Trine. His eyes all warm and pathetic. Thabre made the same beeline to Bucky with the same mooning eyes.

"Before we have formal introductions, we have an announcement that can't wait . . . Nat?" The host, Tony Stark, said.

Natalie and Bucky stood side-by-side with their arms around each other.

"In about four months, four short months, Natalie and I will be the proud parents of a daughter."

"And a human baby," Thabre said, "how much good luck."

"You're carnivores, aren't you?" Steve learned the answer at dinner. The aliens were particularly fond of the pheasant. They ate bones and all.

After dinner the party moved to the cinema room. They played games, socialized and drank. As the evening wore down to a close the couples paired off. Steve and Trine sat at the game table and played around with the chess set. They did not play chess. They used the pieces more like bumper cars - they slid the pieces around the board and bumped into each other's pieces and laughed, picking bigger pieces each time. They talked in low voices, touched hands, and touched feet under the table.

Natalie and Bucky half laid on a sofa and played around with each other's limbs. Thabre sat at the other end of the sofa and was touched by a stray foot, or hand, or bit of conversation from the pair.

Tony and Dandalo sat at a table with five or six devices going. Did they work or play? No one could tell. They each operated all devices and communicated through them. Occasionally they made eye contact, vocalized some response and answered by manipulating a machine. This method of communication looked natural and well-established.

Banner and Blixa sat on the adjacent sofa, relaxed and tired, full of food and drink. Blixa made some observations.

"Can I assume all males in this room are exceptional to all other males on your planet?"

"I'd say that's fair. Tony Stark is peerless, well, maybe Elon Musk or Steve Jobs when he was alive, Bill Gates – maybe five others. Steve Rogers – maybe two or three others. I don't think there's another Bucky on this planet.

"And yourself?"

"Realistically? I'd say none. I am a singular entity on this planet."

"I realize a sample of four is small but there seems to be two distinct types, one type is tall with . . . " Blixa made curved signs in the air with it's hands.

"Muscular?"

"Yes, muscular bumps."

"Oh, I see where this is going and the other male shorter and less muscled?"

"Yes, but are the brainiacs. I note the tall muscular male who is not a brainiac has the exceptional females. I am confused. What type is most desirable in your societies?"

"The tall muscled one without a doubt. The smaller male is forced to develop other body parts to make up for the fact that they are not physically the ideal."

"That makes perfect sense now," Blixa said playfully. "So for desirability, to rank – Bucky would be first, then Steve, then Tony, then you?"

"That's pretty much how I'd cut it. How about in your culture?"

"It's very clear with us. Let me try to translate the name for our sex. We are Androgyns. The one who possesses the closest to half masculine and half feminine traits is the most desirable. Dandalo is one. Very desirable by all and at the top professionally. This is the strongest person. If you lean feminine like myself, this is the next strongest. Leading masculine is the least desirable in our society and the further one leans masculine the worst things are for you."

"That is fascinating. Why is that?"

"Again, let me translate what masculine and feminine literally mean on Torn, masculine = ME, feminine = WE. As our race developed over the eons we, of course, thought we needed the ME as the different branches fought to possess the land and resources of our planet. As our population spread, we pushed out other species. Once Torn was fully populated by our race the ME became a destructive force that threaten to destroy our planet. The ME took it to the brink. Only then did our race begin to revere the WE. Now people like Dandalo are seen as having the best judgment, and they are the leaders. We value cooperation and nurturing over domination and submission, compromise over winning, nonviolence over armed conflict. We have become caretakers of our planet out of necessity. When domination, violence and the mentality of winning at any cost threatened the ecology of our planet."

"Fascinating," Banner watched as Blixa's eye color changed to match the emotion of the talk.

"The others seem preoccupied," Blixa held eye contact with Bruce. 

Bruce sniffed the air deeply a few times. He tried to identify the scent. He could not. He followed the scent and leaned closer to Blixa who stared at Bruce and spoke. 

"I am curious about your personal space. I would love to see inanimate objects around your room that you cherish. I would like very much to see your sexual organs unclothed and anything else of interest, family photos, artifacts and things like that."

"Blixa, your eyes . . . "

"Yes, I know."

"They're hypnotic."

"Shall we go?"

****

Steve and Trine liked the idea of leaving and stopped to talk to Natalie and Bucky on the way out. Thabre jumped at this opportunity and slid up close to Bucky to make room for Steve and Trine to sit. Obvious to all was Thabre's interest in Bucky. The creatures breathing quickened as it's body touched the side of Bucky's muscular and divinely shaped thigh. 

"So, what's on the docket for tomorrow?"

"Work in the lab."

"Bucky, I do need to interview you. I see how things spin out of schedule here. So, first thing in the morning? Even before exercise?"

"Most definitely."

The party broke up. Bucky routinely avoided prolonged eye contact with people. He knew what his eyes looked like. No matter how good he felt - his eyes showed everything - all 75 years of it. Buck took a chance. He let Thabre have a look right there on the sofa. What Bucky got back astonished him. What he felt in Thabre's eyes: the acknowledgment, the acceptance, the understanding, the non-judgment, made him linger there. And he felt something more, things he could not readily identify but they were nice things, nice feelings. Bucky's face softened and he did not look away.

"We're going to bed now," Bucky said, "I'm looking forward to seeing you tomorrow." Once he made eye contact with Thabre he was reluctant to break off. Natalie guided Buck along.

"What a delightful being," she said.

****

When he opened the door to their therapeutic room, a gush of sea air rushed out and knocked the door out of his hand. The door hit the wall with a bang. Natalie ran in and grabbed the French doors as they blew wide open and flapped in the breeze. The smell of the sea air, the warmth of the room, the blue colors, relaxed any person immediately. Buck kicked off his shoes and slipped off his shirt. He stood by the fish tank and touched the glass. He talked to his fish. He fed them. He watered the plants, he talked to them and pruned them. Natalie knocked around the bathroom and they wound up on the bed.

Natalie never knew what kind of a night she would have with her lover but he fell asleep. She curled up beside him. She felt his heart pulse and his warm breath on the back of her neck. She held his human hand with both her hands. She held his hand next to her mouth. She kissed his fingertips and fell asleep. She fell asleep and dreamed. She dreamed of a house, a house with an upstairs, and a downstairs, a basement, and an attic - a still, warm house. A house with all the windows open. A house filled with the sounds of the evening crickets and frogs, the rustling of wind through corn stocks and the distant rumbling of road traffic. She stood in the doorway of a bedroom. The window was open in the room and the night breeze lifted the sheer curtain and it billowed and relaxed and billowed and relaxed again. A night light lit the room with a soft peach glow. On the bed snuggled three children in fresh sleepwear and crisp white sheets - their chubby faces flushed with their own dreams. He came from behind her, wrapped his arms around her and kissed her neck. She touched his hands and felt the calluses on his fingers.

"They look like angels now, don't they," he said. She turned to look into his warm inviting blue eyes. And they gazed at their children, it seemed an eternity.

"Why are they all in the same bed?"

"They were playing and fell asleep."

"I'll carry them to their own beds."

"No," she said and she led him by the hand to the bed. She scooted the kids together and laid beside them. He followed her lead. They scrunched their three children between them and they stared into each other's eyes. Eternity passed.

She woke with a sharp inhalation of air. She could not imagine what came over her. She had never dreamed anything like that before. She never even allowed herself to think of anything like that. She had never been in a house like that house. She had never even seen a picture of that kind of house. Not anything even close. If she was honest with herself, from time to time, she had looked in the windows of other people's lives. On Sundays or on holidays she had walked or rode and looked. She had looked. She told herself she was happy for them, for their domestic bliss, and she was, she really was. But she knew it was simply not for her. 

Darkness descended over her and she thought of another house. This house she knew. This house was a small dark house. This was a poor house. A house with three rooms. An old house. An uncared for house. A house that was not loved. A house without love inside. She did not think of all the long days she spent in this house. The brief springs and the all too long winters. She did not think of the house sitting in the small sad town and the people with faces carved from stone. When she thought of this house she thought of one day only. She thought of the last day she was in that house - the day her parents sold her to the Committee for State Security, the KGB. Of course, it was not called selling but that is essentially what it was. She saw her stepfather take the money. Her pregnant mother cried and held her year old brother. She thought of her stepfather's gruffness when he hit at her and told her to stop crying. She thought of the day the men came to the ugly house and took her. She told herself she must not think of either of these houses.

She pulled Bucky's arm around her tight and ran his hand along her chest to her belly and held it there.

****

Buck and Trine met at the lab door. 

"Do you want an advocate?"

"No, I don't think so." They entered a glassed in room inside the lab that held computers and communication devices if anyone needed to escape the noise of the lab. Tony, Banner, Dandalo, Blixa and Thabre worked in the lab and took no notice. Trine and Buck sat comfortably on yellow office chairs.

"Thank you for the timely and generous specimen. The ILLUMINE  
is present in massive amounts in your semen, in your sperm, actually."

Buck jumped from the chair. "Can this harm them?"

"Sit down please. You've had this in your blood since 1943. I see no harm in you."

"Will what you said last night, the feedback loop, will that happen in Natalie's body? And the babies?"

"Yes, yes it will."

"Okay, then. I have to except it?"

"It would be best if you could."

Buck sat in the chair. "Does everyone know?"

"Only the two of us. I haven't charted yet."

"Thank you for some time," Buck touched his forehead. "Go ahead and chart. They all need to know as soon as possible. This will affect the work." He took a deep breath.

"That's thoughtful of you." Dr. Haugen pressed send and the news traveled to the team.

"They know everything about me anyway. They might as well know what's in my sperm." Buck held his hand over his eyes and sighed.

"Do you want a support person?"

"No, I figured that's how it was." But he noticed this was the second time she asked for a witness. Maybe she would feel more comfortable, he thought.

"I need a thorough list, an exhaustive list of all your sexual contacts since 1943 when you were given the ILLUMINE. I can find no record of anyone asking you about this subject, which is odd. The potential for abuse of prisoners is so great."

"I was trying to keep all this secret. Private. You know." Buck sighed. "But I can see that's not going to be practical now. I mean it's going to be impossible."

An alarm buzzed on Tony's private cell phone. He answered. Jarvis alerted him that Barnes had spoken one of the keyword searches Tony programmed to be notified of immediately and that word was 'secret'. With cell phone to his ear, Tony looked in the glassed in room, at the Trine interview.

"Are you sure you don't want Natalie in here?"

"No way."

"Steve?"

"Absolutely not."

"Bruce?"

"No, no, no." Buck looked out at Tony looking in, "but . . . let's ask Tony to come in for this . . . it's possible . . . he could understand." Buck mumbled.

"Alright."

Buck had eye contact with Tony. He waved him in with his hand. Tony closed the door and stood by the door with his back up against the glass and his hands behind his back.

Dr. Trine Haugen commenced what had to feel like an interrogation. "In all the years you were a captive were you ever sexually abused or used?"

"Men coming on to me? Yes, God, yes. It was a constant battle some places, to fight off my attackers, and keep . . . as far as I know. It got so bad one place . . . This is one of my first clear memories after I escaped. I remember it in detail - they must've kept me off machines for some period of time because for a long period, I remembered. Because of this I think it was recent. I had my bionic arm. I was being held in a very isolated facility in Siberia. Not the one you were at Tony, another place. I was attacked like that daily. Sometimes multiple times in one day. When they started coming at me two or three at a time I got desperate. It was a desperate situation. They had treated me like an animal for so long they became like animals themselves. I knew how it was going to end. I knew if I was pushed I would fight to the death to protect that from happening to me, but I also I knew if I was forced like that it would be the end of me. At that time where my head was at . . . It would just be the end, just too much – I was in such a position of submission. If I had to submit to that, I submitted to so . . . Anyway, I feared being used like that. I thought I'd try some crazy idea. I tried to make a deal with them, they seamed so interested in me – my body – my arm – my hair. I told them I would allow them to look me over, they seemed so curious about me, to touch me, hold me - Jesus God in heaven I'd rather walk out the back door and into the ocean then to continue this – "

"It's a human story."

Buck foot shook. He regained himself and went on.

"Well, do whatever, but I didn't want to be penetrated or forced. I told them if anyone tried to force penetration on me the deal would be off and it would be back to the daily battles and . . . I would hurt them."

"These men are criminals. Why did you think they would keep a deal like that?"

"Criminals? These men were the security. The Russian military security. Russian military officers. Enlisted men had no access to my cell unless they were told to do something. I was a prisoner of war. I was not with criminals or regular prison population. In that one way they followed the Geneva Convention."

"I'm so sorry – I'm so naïve in many areas. Please forgive me and continue."

"Well, it worked, it worked like a charm. These men, Russian men we're so isolated so deprived just looking at me or watching me take off my shirt, they'd, uh, I don't want to sound crude - "

"They'd climax?"

"Yeah, that's the word for it alright. Thank you, climax over practically nothing. One man just stroked my hair. One man ran his hand over my chest and climaxed, " Buck illustrated this by rubbing his hand across his chest. "One man put his arm around me from behind and climaxed. Both fully dressed. They were lined up down the hall to see me."

"And it never went further than that?"

"Oh yes, it did. After about a month it took more to get them off. They would touch me, hold me or kiss me on various parts of my body."

"What did you get out of this relationship?"

"Well, I wasn't attacked. I was not penetrated – well, once. One man came to me and told me he was a homosexual, you know, gay. He said the other men didn't know this and he wanted to keep it that way. He was a tall man, a strong man and a tough fighter. That's all they should be concerned about, really. He said he belong to a secret society and what straight society knew about homosexuals was just the tip of a glacier sized iceberg below - in Hollywood - in politics - in business - all secret. He said he would teach me everything about it - everything. He said it was useful knowledge that only an insider knew and it may come in handy someday. May even save my life. He said he would let me in on secrets of sexual passion. He said he would tell me and he would show me and he wouldn't have to penetrate me to do it. So I consented. Now, this guy knew how to pleasure a man. Everything he did was to please me. I relaxed and let him. Half the stuff he showed me I would never have thought of. Almost all the stuff he taught me could be used with a woman. The oral stuff is easy to show a woman – how to extend sexual pleasure, easy to show a women. Then one day he did anally penetrate me. Just slightly for one second and he stopped. He said it was an accident that he was carried away but he stopped himself. He asked me if he had hurt me. I said no. He asked me if it felt good. I was shocked. I was surprised but I didn't want him to know that. So I said yes it had felt good, and it had. He asked me to forgive him. He promised he it would never happen again." Buck laughed. "Oh yeah, then he said I could avenge my honor and get even with him if I wanted." Buck laughed again. "He said that was a gay joke . . . " Barnes turned dark. "I shouldn't have told that. I'm wrong to speak like this. It's not appropriate. I shouldn't be telling any of this."

"That's not true. You should've told what happened to you long ago. Please go on."

"Well, as you can see, I did have some good feelings about some of it. The youngest one, also a tough fighter, but very young, came to me. He stood there looking at his shoes. He stood for a very long time like that. Then I saw tears rolling down his face. I went to him. I kissed him like Russian men kiss each other. I hugged him like a relative. I held him like that awhile until his arms went around me. People just die inside without human touch."

"The position you were in . . . and you were thinking of others?" Trine said.

Buck shrugged that off. "I don't know that I was thinking. I wasn't thinking at all."

"Go on."

"He came back again and again. Well, that's all he ever seemed to want. Human touch. He would let himself into my cell, sleep with me, just hold each other, and sleep. That was nice. I never saw he was sexually aroused by any of that. I knew I wasn't. I felt like a therapist, I guess. After a time they were so appreciative they wanted to give me money. I'd laugh at that. But I'd say something like wouldn't it be nice if you came in here and I didn't smell like an animal living in a barn or would you like to see me clean-shaven or would you like to look at my body if it was fed food regularly."

"So, these things were given to you?"

"Yes, Dr. I debased myself. I sold sexual favors for a bath, a shave and some food." Bucky did not know if he would ever be able to look Tony in the eye again. "But I got a lot more out of it than food. Yeah, sure I was pleasured. Yeah, sure I was used. I was used for sex. Granted. But it was human. I felt that kind of pleasure was human. So I didn't feel bad about it at the time. I think of that gay guy often. His name was Alyosha. I wish I could've thanked him. Oh, don't get me wrong. I know he used his position. I know he used to me, too. I was treated like an object, yes, but a human object. Not an animal. Not a machine. Not a thing. Not a possession, but a human. Believe me it was a huge step up. I think it saved my life. They quit their physical abuse of me. They stood up to the scientists. They protected me from the scientists. The men talked to me like I was a human being. They touched me sometimes with kindness, tenderness even. I would've taken that from anyone – anything – a dog to lick my face." Bucky looked at his cybernetic arm anticipating a change. In his peripheral vision he saw Tony's hands move to his face.

"And you wanted to keep this a secret? This is what you were hiding?" Tony said.

"Yes. Natalie knows but Steve would never understand this."

"We can take a break."

"You don't have to - "

Bucky brushed them off. "Just let me get it out. Just let me get it out of me. Jarvis can record it all and then I can be done with it."

"No, Jarvis is not gonna record this. These statements will be expunged from the record." Tony said.

"You'll see. It has to be this way. This has to be in the record. Let me finish. I don't know. I have to think this is what happens to prisoners, war or no war. These are the states of mind that overtake you. I don't think I'm a freak in that regard. It's a desperate situation for everyone. Imprisoning others, torturing, doing what they did to me . . . maybe was just as corrosive to their soul as it was to mine. I don't know. I just don't know."

"How did this arrangement end?"

"A man I didn't know came to me. He was a little intoxicated - a lot intoxicated. He tried to take me down, well, he did take me down. I had to stop him. My intention was to hold him until he was unconscious, then drag him out of the cell. I didn't hold him long enough to kill him. If there's one thing I know about, it's how to kill. In that area I know what I'm doing, no matter my state of mind, I know how to kill. So, I know I didn't hold him long enough to kill him. He must've been defective in some way. He died. He was dead. I had . . . I had killed him. So the thing I did all that to prevent happened anyway."

"What happened after that?"

"I have no memory after that. They must've done something to me."

"Now then, what you did. Did this include oral sex?"

"Yes."

"Anal sex? Did you penetrate them?"

"No."

"Did your sperm get into these men?"

"Yes, at first, yes - later I had more control. I was highly motivated to get control. I didn't want them to see me like that . . . " Barnes shrunk under the pressure of these questions.

"Did you know them?"

"Yes." Buck could no longer look at Trine.

"Do you know their names?"

"Yes."

"Can you make me a list."

"Yes."

Tony was captured. He was pulled into the swirling vortex of Bucky's emotions. Tony removed his hand from his mouth and placed his hand behind his back again. He shuffled from one foot to the other. His gaze never left Barnes but the way he saw him changed forever. He saw him differently. He saw him clearly for the first time. Tony heard Steve's words as clear as if Steve stood next to him and whispered in his ear. 'It wasn't him'. Tony relaxed. His shoulders fell away from his ears. The tension in his neck washed away. He was at peace, at peace for the first time in years.

"Should we break?"

"No, I know I was lucky. I consider myself lucky, really. I could've been drugged, and sodomized, or restrained, and sodomized daily, but when I was examined here, no evidence of that was found. No, let's go on." Buck continued to look down. He didn't know if he could ever hold his head up like a man again. Yet he felt a strange relief. Keeping secrets takes a lot of energy.

"Let's shift gears. Let's try this. We start at the present and work back, following the sperm." Trine said lightheartedly.

"Okay, follow the sperm." Bucky lightened up a bit, impressed with Trine's ability to make a joke at exactly the right moment.

"Your partner has been Natalie for the last . . . ?"

"One year three months."

"While in 1963?"

"None other than Natalie."

"What about Bucharest – you were there two years and free."

"I was there a few months and free. From DC I went to Canada then Greenland, Iceland, Finland, Poland, Slovenia, oh, um, Serbia, Turkey and then Romania. And every place I stayed I had women, yes."

"How many about?"

"Many. It seemed when I was locked up all I could think about was escape. As soon as I escaped all I could think about was getting a girl. Maybe the men stirred me up in some way. But I didn't want a man. I wanted a woman. I wanted a soft, sweet woman to hold me, to touch me. I wanted to be by the womb. Hell, I think I wanted to just crawl back in there. If I couldn't crawl back in, I wanted to feel the womb. I wanted to feel that sweet button of a cervix and I wanted to come there . . . sorry Doctor. But, that image was the only thing in my mind. I wanted to create something for the future. I wanted a sweet warm home. I wanted the soft hands and the big heart of a woman. I wanted a woman to accept me. I thought I could heal. I thought that would heal me. I wanted a relationship. I wanted a girl to stay with me. I was convinced if I had that I would be myself again. I wanted this badly. I was kind of mad about the subject. 

"But, at that time I couldn't hold onto a conversation. I couldn't follow a train of thought. Getting a girl to look at me – easy. Getting a girl to talk to me – easy. Getting a girl to sleep with me – easy. Getting a girl to stay – impossible. If by some miracle they were able to get by the arm . . . I'd say prosthesis. They'd understand that but my arm didn't look like or move like any fake arm they had ever seen. Even so, if I could get past that. If they stayed after one night of violet nightmares thinking maybe I just had a bad night. But, every night was a bad night, and that would be the end of that and I'd try again.

"I would've done anything to keep a girl. One girl tied my arm to the bed frame. I broke out. Another took me into her home and said her father would control me. I knocked him out cold without any memory of doing it. They asked me to leave. Another girl had an uncle who was a doctor, of course, he wanted to know my name, what war I was in and where I had been a prisoner. 

From Canada on I made detailed writings of all I did, thought, felt, dreamed, remembered, every girl I had. I wrote everything about them, their names, where they lived, descriptions, how we met, where we met, everything they said, what we did together, everything."

"How many girls are we talking about?"

"Well, I . . . 50-60 . . . maybe more over the two years." Out of the corner of Bucky's eye he saw Tony's reaction and he glanced at him, shrugged and said. "I was highly motivated."

"Any men during this time?"

That question sobered up Bucky's face in a flash. He squeezed his forehead with his human hand. "Well, I was propositioned many times. I don't know why I was approached like that but I said no. It felt wrong to say no. I felt like I should've done what these men wanted me to do." Out of Bucky's peripheral vision he saw Tony tense up, shake his head no, and make fists with his hands. Buck continued. "I don't know why I felt like that. I . . . I don't have that all figured out yet . . . but the answer is . . . no men."

"And these girls? You had vaginal intercourse with ejaculation, correct?"

"Most definitely."

"Did you use condoms?"

"That would have been contrary to my driving purpose."

"You mean you intended to impregnate these girls?"

"I dreamed of nothing else, night and day. If that happened someone would stay . . . with me. They would have to . . . Was that wrong too?" Bucky held his head in his hands. "It seemed the right thing to do at the time . . . it's all I had to give." Buck glanced at Trine with eyes like a harvest moon.

"Where did you do all this writing?"

"In composition notebooks."

"And where are these composition notebooks?"

"In my backpack."

"And where is your backpack?"

Bucky turned to look at Tony.

"I didn't know of a backpack. This subject is not in your records."

"The backpack was taken from me in Berlin. Steve was probably the last person to see it."

****

Tony opened the door of the glassed in room and called to a personal robot to find Steve Rogers and bring him into the interview.

"What else was in the backpack?" Tony asked.

"Maybe a dozen notebooks. Assorted sticky grenades, and other weapons. Money - Euros - a forged passport. A clean shirt."

"You wrote your dreams?"

"Yes, I did."

"And your dreams were of . . . ?"

"It was like a compulsion, Tony. I didn't know what was real or what they wanted me to think was real. What I had done or not done. What they had implanted in me or not so I wrote everything."

"You do realize that notebook is a confessional."

"I wanted to confess. I was guilty! Hell, I thought I was guilty of everything. Everything I've heard about. Everything I read. I was flooded with images. They seemed to quiet down once on paper. I wanted to know what was real. What I had done. Who I was. I thought I could figure it out. If it was on paper. Maybe I could see a pattern or something. Maybe it all would become clear. Basically, I just did not care. I didn't think I would live through the next day. I could've been captured any moment. I was running on instinct."

"Did you write in English?"

"I coded them Tony."

"Huh?" Tony was shocked.

"I had a lot of time. I coded them and used five languages. It was nothing they couldn't break but I made it so they would have to decode it by hand. I made it so it would be a pain in the ass to do."

"Ah ha, Steve great, we need to retrieve Bucky's backpack as soon as possible. Where's the backpack?"

"Last I saw it was on his back. The backpack wasn't with our stuff. We have a receipt for our things. It wasn't on that list."

"Your buddy kept the diary." Tony crossed his arms.

"In the backpack?" Steve's eyes got big.

Tony nodded affirmative.

"Did you write about the inner workings of HYDRA or U.S.S.R.?"

"Yes, most definitely – whatever I remembered I wrote – tons of stuff."

"Oh, brother."

"Let's get all brains in on this. Call Natalie. How do we retrieve this backpack?"

Tony shut down the lab temporarily and the team moved into a bigger space.

"We go get it. We know where it is." Steve said.

"You know where it was." Natalie said.

"How do we break into a maximum security detention center?" Banner added.

"They are designed to not break out of."

"We can do a search. We could do a search electronically. Jarvis?"

"Initiated."

"A quiet search."

"Understood."

"You could get yourselves arrested." Trine obviously watched movies in her spare time.

"Then how do we get out?" Buck played along.

"You broke out before, James."

"We're all too recognizable." Cap reasoned.

"We could do like the movies. Disguise ourselves as janitors, or repair men and go in like that." Buck smiled at Trine.

"You have a time machine." Dandalo reminded everyone.

"Yeah, we could go back and get it from Bucky. Before he's arrested." Banner said.

"Oh, I'd think twice about that. I wouldn't want to put anyone in that kind of jeopardy. Bucky's state of mind at that time – that's something I'd not want to deal with - I would not want to try to take that backpack away from him." Steve said. 

"You were in his apartment? You know where it was stored?" Trine asked.

"We'll just go when he's out." Banner said.

"I'd rather be caught stealing by the German police than to be caught by Bucky. Keep thinking."

"I threw the bag out the window."

"All we need is someone there to catch it."

"Would that affect your escape?" Tony said.

"We didn't escape we were caught." Cap enlightened.

"I did use a sticky grenade out of the backpack."

Cap thought about that for a moment. "I don't think that affected the outcome."

"That sticky grenade stoped Black Panther from killing me. It gets tricky really fast. Doesn't it?"

"Is the Time Machine that accurate to the minute – Dandalo? Tony?" Hulk said.

"The accuracy decreases proportionate to the length of time. When was this?" Dandalo said.

"Around two years ago," Tony said.

"That's nothing. I can run some figures but off the top of my head I'd say, plus or minus, 3 or 4 minutes."

"That would work. Would something like this be against the 44 Rules of Time Travel?"

"Again, I could run it by professionals but I would say this expedition, considering its significance, would qualify under the 'acute need for the greater good cause'."

"Well, somebody go. Can I have it today?" Doctor Trine Haugen said with some naïveté.

"This isn't UPS," Tony quipped.

"No, they deliver," Buck said.

"Who's going?" Banner said.

"Well, Barnes and Rogers are already there." Dandalo said.

"I would love to go get Bucky's possession for him," Thabre eyed Barnes.

"You're a noncombatant. That's out of the question." Tony barked.

"I would not rule out Thabre's skills," Dandalo said.

"No offense but the Romanian army, the Bucharest SWAT team, and special forces were coming down on that apartment."

"Don't forget Black Panther," Bucky smiled.

"Yeah, and Back Panther. If anyone goes I'm the one most qualified to go get Bucky's backpack. I was there. I saw it. I know where he hid it. I'm going."

"You can't go Steve. They told you that. I'm the one to go get Bucky's backpack. No one is after me. If anything goes wrong I can get out of any mess," Natalie said emphatically.

"You're not taking any risk like that. I'll go, that simple," Hulk said.

Buck placed two fingers in his mouth and whistled loud and shrill. "Stop the press. I appreciate all your generous offers, but if anyone travels back in time to get my backpack it will be me. What risk is there anyway? So I run into myself for a few minutes."

"Allow me a moment to explain. If you did go, Bucky, and you did confront yourself at your apartment, or on the street, or on the rooftop, one of you would cease to exist." Dandalo made direct eye contact with Bucky. "If you - no Bucky would come back to us and no backpack. If the other, you would come back with the backpack and the other timeline would extinguish. All that happened to you from then till now would not have happened. I think something major - something remarkable happened - your miracle pregnancy."

"I can't go." Buck looked at Natalie.

"I could retrieve the bag with my ship in the same manner we collect samples. Then no one goes," Dandalo offered.

"You're on leave," Tony said.

"I have friends."

"I don't know - " Tony's tablet signaled, "here comes the Jarvis inquiry." Tony read, "Oh, the Germans couldn't break your code." Buck looked as astonished as Tony. "So, since Barnes is a U.S. citizen they sent the backpack, minus all the sticky grenades, to the CIA. Well, what do you know – they couldn't break your code either – no, no, they could. They saw it would be hard. Many man hours. So they kicked it down the road to the FBI where it has been for the last six months. What a break."

Tony turned to Trine. "Give me 72 hours. I know some people. If I can't get anywhere we'll plan the heist – much easier here – should be fun. Barnes, we may use your janitor idea, yet."

The team milled around the area. Some members wandered off into the lab and returned to their work. 

****

Buck joined Natalie at the door. He cozied up to her. After all that talk his body ached for her. He touched her back to draw her near. 

"50-60! 50-60. Really?" Natalie crossed her arms over her chest and blocked his advance. He did not stop the seduction. He raised his cybernetic arm in the air and rested it on the door frame above her head. He did not try to touch her again but he leaned over her. His eyes twinkled and he grinned like a fox. His cheek brushed her cheek. He allowed his hot breath to fall on her neck and he whispered in her ear.

"Even that . . . even all that . . . did not prepare me for you." He opened his mouth as if to take a nibble of her ear, but he spread his lips and laid them on her temple. She dropped her arms to her side and reached for him.

"Ah hum," Trine spoke. The lovers separated themselves from each other.

"Can you stay James? I'm not done. Steve and Natalie can you stay also? The rest can return to work."

****

The three sat down and Trine closed the door.

"I have some test results to review with you. James, you have had a significant spike in your IQ score. You were tested on arrival at Solaris, around two years ago, and a few days ago. I want to make this perfectly clear, this spike does not in anyway promise, predict or cause emotional stability. What were you after when you interfaced with the computer?"

"More I wanted more – more strength – more power – more stamina – more knowledge, and yes more intelligence."

"For what purpose? What goal? Did you think it would help your emotional . . . "

"My mental disability? You can say it. I know I have it. You're right, I did think I could get more control over this, this . . . wild ride I've been on." Buck motioned around his head with both hands. "To be more stable in my brain . . . yes. Most definitely."

"What is your brain telling you about yourself?"

"Oh man, really? What's it saying right now?"

"Yes. Say with the brain is telling you."

"Oh, mainly that I'm going to be captured again. That's a constant. That's always there."

"What else?"

"Oh, it's no use. All this is no use. I can't be helped. I'm too far gone. I'm too broken, too damaged. That I have been ruined. All I'm good for now, is to be an object for someone else to use and abuse. I'm wasting everyone's time. You don't deserve kindness. Your arm's a weapon. How do you think you could ever hold a child." Buck said loudly. "You'll kill again. Everyone knows that." Buck talked faster and louder. "You're wrong. Every cell in your body is wrong. That ILLUMINE makes you a FREAK! You can't be trusted." He yelled. "You should be punished. You should be locked up. You're bad. You're a killer. You're a killer. You're a monster. Your a mons - "

"STOP!"

Bucky did stop and he shut his eyes. He opened his eyes and glanced at Natalie to see her reaction. He was as shocked as anyone to hear what came out of his mouth. He had not intended to be so graphic, but all that mess played in his brain, played, and started over again. He tried to ignore it, but sometimes it was so loud it dominated reality.

"What if I told you, James, you have brain damage. Your brain is a real mess and your brain will always do just what it's doing right now?"

"I'd believe you. I know that's the truth."

"Now, what if I told you that you are not your brain."

"What?"

"You are not your brain that is true. You are much more than any one organ in your body. You are not your brain. Your mind chooses and decide about the messages you receive from the brain. Are the messages you are receiving from the brain true?"

Natalie jumped into the conversation, "none of that is true." 

Steve added his two cents. "None of what he said is true. Not one thing."

"Do you think what your brain is telling you is true?"

"I think it's true. Maybe it's not true. Honestly, I don't know."

"There is an easy way to tell. Are these messages in line with your goals and values in your life? You do have goals?"

"Okay, it's really basic. I don't want to kill anyone again. I want Natalie's life to be better because I'm in her life. I want to raise our daughter with her and do a good job. Steve has always needed me his whole life – forget that look on your face, Steve, you know it's true- I want to be a good friend to him. I know I can't make up to Tony the harm I've done to him but I'm determined to spend my life trying. When we first came back he mentioned some trouble – maybe there something I can do to help him."

"Those are clearly defined. Now, are any of the litany of things your brain is saying to you, of productive value in reaching your goals?"

"How do I judge? My judgment seems subpar."

"It takes no judgment. Just logic. Will any of the things your brain said to you logically lead you to your goals?"

"Not one damn thing."

"Well, there you have it. Then these messages are defective and your mind must decide to accept a defective message or reject it. The brain is extremely powerful. Like a machine in many ways. The brain can easily overpower the mind, and the circuits can run automatically. Like your messages sounded like a recording."

"Yes! That's it. It plays like a recorded message."

"The mind decides your goals and what you value. The mind decides what messages are useful and productive. What messages are defective and must be ignored. Dr. Banner can be a sounding board for this type of therapy."

Buck downloaded all therapies and particularly liked the idea of a therapy called Positive Disintegration. This therapy was created by a survivor of medical experiments and medical torture by the Nazis in World War II. He particularly liked the auto education and auto psychotherapy aspects of this therapy. The exercise Trine spoke of seemed to fit right in.

****

Bucky and Natalie took a break in their room before everyone met for dinner. The inlet was peaceful this time of day with a swish sound of cool clear water, an occasional bird call, and the warm breeze that blew through the open French doors from the balcony. 

Buck kicked off his shoes and took off his shirt, which was his habit upon entering the therapeutic room Tony made for him. Natalie stripped in record time. She changed into her silky shorts and crop top PJs. They laid on the bed, emotionally exhausted. He untied her hair and spread its beauty out on the pillow. He ran his hand through its silkiness. He held her small slinky body next to his bare chest and they fell asleep for an hour or so. 

They were awakened by a knock at the door. Dr. Trine Haugen stood in the doorway and glanced down the hall each way.

"Can I talk to you a minute. Person to person. Off the record?"

"Come in." Not knowing why, Buck looked down the hall each way, also. "There's no cameras or recording devices in this room." 

Buck and Natalie sat against the headboard propped up with pillows. Trine sat at the foot of the bed. Buck held a pillow over his chest, suddenly shy.

"I'm embarrassed to ask you but I'm desperate. I don't even know how to start. I know I come off as a know it all, and I do know it all about some subjects, but other subjects I am, so deficient, so naïve. When you spoke of your experiences with Alicia I think you said his name."

"Aloysha?" Buck corrected her.

"When you spoke of your experiences with Aloysha . . . I . . . You know, and all he taught you . . . I . . . I need you to teach me." Trine blurted out and she looked at her hands.

"What? Why?" Bucky and Natalie could not have been more shocked.

"I have very little experience with these matters. I want to pleasure Steve like that. I want to please him."

"Oh, I'm sure you please him just as you are," Bucky said.

"But I feel so inadequate. I am a scientist. I want to know all there is to know about a subject. About this subject."

"You'll learn naturally."

"I want to know now. You said he taught you things you would've never thought of on your own. I want to do things like that to him now. Tonight."

"I'm known around here for my poor judgment, but I can tell you right here and now, there is no way I could teach you. NO WAY."

"Can't you make a video?"

"No. It has to be hands-on." 

Trines mouth turn down. She was dejected. She stared at her hands and pouted. Bucky looked at Natalie and they communicated with eyes only. Natalie nodded affirmative.

"But . . . there may be a way," he said and Trine brightened.

"Natalie is an expert in all of Aloysha's tricks and techniques and much, much, much more. She's like ten Aloyshas. She would be happy to instruct you."

"Really? But there's no penis?" Trine whinned.

"Well, you girls will have to make do. Steve's in love with you Trine. You can't touch my penis. And that doesn't begin to address how unethical – "

"But . . . "

"You cannot touch my penis." Bucky glanced at Natalie for support.

"What if – "

"You CANNOT touch my penis."

"The penis is not essential, Trine, I mean for this . . . if you have an open mind," Natalie suggested.

"I do, I do, I do."

"We'll see."

"Now, how about this. I'll find Steve and Steve and I will take a run or something for a few hours and you can have instruction with Natalie. You can try it all out on Steve this very night." 

Trine left Buck and Nat's bedroom. They quickly resumed their position on the pillows.

"Can I touch your penis?" Natalie said in a little gravelly voiced whisper.

Bucky laughed. "Oh, all this talk of the penis."

"Can I touch you here?"

"Oh . . . oh . . . "

"Or here."

"Oh."

"Here."

"Ah, ah, oh, mm aaaaa."

Another tentative knock was heard at the door.

"Am I hearing things?"

"Maybe she forgot something."

Buck opened the door and Steve Rogers stood in the doorway. He glanced down the hall each way.

"Oh, I'm so glad you guys are here. Can I talk to you, off the record?"

Bucky and Natalie glance at each other with big eyes.

"Sure Steve. You know these rooms are not monitored. Come in."

Bucky and Natalie resumed their position on the pillows at the head of the bed only now Steve Rogers sat at the foot of their bed.

"I've just received a message from Xhosa. She's on her way here."

"What?"

"Oh my God."

"She said she has something to talk over. But she wants to talk to me in person."

"Damn."

"Holy shit."

"That's right. I've had no girlfriend for 100 years. Now I have two girlfriends. What do I do?"

"What do you want to do?" Natalie took the lead.

"I did love Xhosa. I really did. I really thought I did. But I LOVE Trine. I am head over heels in love with her. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I would die for her."

"Well, that's really clear. Don't you think, Angel?"

"It sounds like you know what you want."

"But what if Xhosa is pregnant? What if that's what she wants to talk about?"

"Now who's going over the deep end."

"I know. I know. I'm freaked out."

"Your mind is made up and you'll know exactly what to say when the time comes. I have every confidence in you." Natalie's calm and reassuring manner did exactly that. She calmed and reassured Steve.

"That's true Steve. You have tact. When's she coming?"

"She'll be here for dinner."

"What?"

"Tonight?"

"Yeah, I know."

"You'll have to talk to her alone before dinner."

"Yeah, yeah but what do I tell Trine?"

"Why don't you guys go for a nice long run and leave this to me." Nat's soothing voice relaxed almost everyone in the room.

"Really? That would be perfect. I feel like I'm in high school."

"You never had any girlfriend in high school. Anyway, I'll change. A long run is just what I need." Buck pulled at the front of his slacks.

****

Steve arranged to meet Xhosa in the living room with the fireplace ablaze and a bottle of non-truth serum wine.

"I don't think there's any reason to delay. Steve, I have to tell you right off I've reconciled with my husband. I know. I cared deeply for you. I still care deeply for you. Oh, it's so complex. It's been long standing in our culture that a royal, like my husband can have 2,3,4 wives. I, being a modern woman said no when he took the second wife. It was a long process but he has given her up. He has committed to be a modern man. So I am happy about that."

"I'm happy for you and I have to say that I've moved on also. You'll meet her tonight. It happened very unexpectedly but very dramatically. I am overwhelmed by it all."

"I don't want to lose our closeness. Our friendship. I will be here or wherever Sergeant Barnes is, every six months for the rest of his life. It can't be awkward or unpleasant between us."

Steve held Xhosa in his arms. "I hear lovers come and go. That love comes, so strong like it has for me and then it fades or dies, but that friendships can last a lifetime. Let's last a lifetime."

"A committed friendship? We would be creating something new. But it feels good."

"Yes, a committed friendship."

"I'm glad you said this because there's more. There's one thing more. I'm pregnant. I know what you're going to ask. I don't know. And I may never know, unless it is obvious in a few months. We are forbidden form testing like that. Another holdover from the patriarchy."

"It doesn't matter, Xhosa. I will be here for you and the child regardless of its heritage for the rest of my life."

"Committed friendship."

"Committed friendship. Oh, and I have an official communiqué from the King."

"Can it wait until morning? Can't we just be together tonight? We should join the others. We should join the party. I want you to meet her. She's waiting."

"Yes, if it was emergent he would have called you. I think it can wait a few hours."

****

The delegation from the planet Torn and Tony's team worked so hard, put in so many long hours studying the ILLUMINE, that Tony set up a seafood, foul, and vegetable barbecue on the beach for the evening's festivities. The personal robots displayed all the hardware needed: lounge chairs, pillows and blankets; tables and chairs; a canopied bar with barstools and the elaborate barbecue itself. The robots made a fire pit for after the sunset. The sun blazed and a cool breeze blew through the area. The scene was set.

Tony desired to show Dandalo and friends something of the beauty of earth. The weather cooperated. Dandalo, Blixa, Thabre, Bucky, Natalie, Bruce, Steve, Trine, Xhosa and Tony lounged around the area, sipped cocktails and flirted with the tide. Where the sea meets the shore has fascinated mankind since the beginning of mankind. Visitors and earthlings alike danced around the foam on the cool sand, played with the rocks and seashell, and poked sticks into the dead fish that dotted the area. A high bacteria count in the water prevented anyone from going further.

The Torns especially delighted to watch the fish and foul cook on the open flame. As the flesh shrunk and crinkled and changed color their eyes shot colorful emotions around their large iris, and they grinned their sharped tooth grin.

They ate, probably too much. They drank, probably too much, and they all probably got too much sun.

There is a time in every day when the sun remains bright but fails to warm the skin. When this happened to Bucky he became watchful and restless; he had been out in the open many hours. Always hyper-vigilant, he grabbed the binoculars, climbed some nearby rocks to the very top and scanned the ocean, the seashore, and land for anything that looked suspicious. He saw nothing that was an immediate threat, but he did see what looked like an oil slick out in the distance with many ships around the perimeter. He called Tony for a looksee. Tony looked and did not like what he saw. He sent for his telescope and liked it even less. He checked in with a tablet. It was not an oil slick. It was a plastics slick headed for his beach. His town. His state. His country. 

At least a mile in diameter, this plastics gathering was full of dead fish, dead birds, dead bugs and live bacteria intertwined in the plastic garbage. Live bugs, live birds and fish picked and ate at the remains like it was a huge animal carcass. This was an environmental disaster of the highest magnitude.

The sunset was spectacular. At dusk they lit the bonfire. Humans and Aliens began to experience bug bites. Many slaps of skin and face and neck until the area was covered with a black veil of bugs that heralded the impending arrival of the plastic slick. Everyone ran into Solaris and were happy to shut the door. The party was spoiled, but Tony being a thoughtful host asked the Torns what they did in the evening. 

The Androgyns from Torn were industrious. They did not waste time with games or watching anything or socializing for the sake of socializing. They socialized for sexual reason. They did play games of physical skill and strength like arm wrestling. Tony invited everyone into the boxing ring. They opened the bar and everyone sat in the overstuffed leather chairs. Cap and Buck gave a demonstration and the Androgyns tried their hand. The Androgyns laughed and laughed at Jarvis's overly dramatic call of the action. The Androgyns exaggerated their behaviors and laughed and laughed. All this laughter helped to digest their dinners.

They moved into the weight room with the mats and Bucky showed his wrestling skills by pinning the whole company one by one. The Androgyns loved this. The pinning took no more than five seconds each person. Thabre went three times. Steve gave him the most problem but even then it was over in 10 seconds. Everyone was happy to return to their own quarters. Except Tony who suited up and flew out to the plastic slick.

****

The next morning a message from Steve circulated around, to meet in Tony's ready room. When Bucky and Nat arrived Banner and Tony sat together on one side of the large table that filled the room. They pulled up chairs opposite from them.

"What's this about?" Buck asked Tony.

"No clue."

Steve arrived a few minutes later with four standard folders and one large folder.

"Great. You're all here. I'll get right to it," he said as he gave a standard folder, that held 20 or 30 pages of paper, to each person.

"I called you here to share with you an astounding – extraordinary correspondence I received from King T'Challa. Your copies are in front of you. You can read but let me summarize. Seems the King and country were very impressed with you." Steve pointed to Bucky. "They were impressed with your restraint and your reparation, they said, they went on to praise you with a few pages of formal, flowery speech." Steve handed the papers out. "Here's another page or two of the same stating how impressed they were with Tony and Tony's 'rehabilitation program' and how you," Steve pointed to Tony. "Rehabilitated the irreparable and the irredeemable. Sorry Buck. That the whole world would have put Barnes to death or discarded him as human garbage and on and on . . . 

"Looks like Zemo has recovered in all ways except his desire for revenge. The Wakandans have decided to expunge him – that's a kind of banishment, I guess – but since they have no relationship with any other country they are requesting, hold onto your chair, they are requesting expungement into the custody of James Barnes for the purpose of rehabilitation under the supervision of Tony Stark." 

Steve threw his hands up in the air. Some of the papers he held flipped out of his hands and flew around like little paper airplanes that crash landed on the massive marble table. All eyes followed the papers till the last one sailed to a stop.

"This has to be some kind of joke," Buck hoped against hope.

"No, this is what these good people believe. That every life has a purpose. That every life is on the earth to do good and people must be given every opportunity to do so. Did you tell Zemo you wanted to be friends?"

"Well – I . . . I said . . . I said we could have been friends as I was squeezing the life out of him. He was unconscious!" Buck flipped his hands around.

"Well, he heard you and he wants to take you up on your offer. Here's an enclosed letter to you from Zemo." 

Steve passed a sealed envelope to Buck. He picked up the letter and turned to Natalie. He held the letter up to her and then did the same to Tony.

"Tony?" Steve asked.

"How long did they say the expungement would take legally?"

Bucky stood by the side of the table, "you can't be seriously thinking – " 

Steve interrupted, "about a year in court but it would most likely be approved."

All eyes rested on Tony for more.

"This is not going to be decided right here, right now. Let's hear some questions."

"How do we know he can be rehabilitated?" Bucky babbled.

Tony laughed, "we figured you were hopeless . . . that was not a consideration when I took you on."

"Yeah, of course not or I wouldn't be here." Bucky was the worst offender. He considered himself hopeless many times, even as recently as a few weeks ago. He took his seat.

"Isn't he wanted by other countries?"

"I didn't consider that with you either. Did you operate in other countries besides the United States and Russia?" 

"Yes I did."

"And did you commit crimes in these other countries?"

"Well, yes . . . yes I did." 

"And at any time, even now, one of these incidents can come back to haunt you? And this would affect me?"

Buck felt like a fly Tony swatted, and he was still stuck to the fly swatter, squirming, and buzzing, with juices flowing; the broken body waiting to be finished off by a toss into the garbage can. 

Buck shifted gears. "Doesn't he have brain damage?"

"Again, I figured you probably had some physical damage to your brain and I took you anyway."

Buck cracked. He put his hands to his head. "I'm having a moment here." A painful moment. A painful moment of insight. Buck had come face to face with his own principles. He reeled. Was this it? Was this the flash of future he experienced locked in the bathroom of Tony's Learjet? Was this the future he had seen for himself?

"But, I had a friend to vouch for me."

"Looks like that that's what he wants you to do."

"What if all this is a trick to get here and damage us?"

"The thought entered my mind that you may be programmed to do just that."

Natalie could not take it another minute. "He's not completely done with his own rehab."

"This is a meaningful question but he'll be done by next year, easy." Dr. Bruce Banner shrugged his shoulders.

Jarvis was heard on the overhead. "James Comey on the phone for you, sir. I told him you were in a meeting. He will not be put off."

"As I said this won't be decided in one meeting. Organize your thoughts and we'll talk again." Tony left to talk to the X-FBI director.

****

Tony's 72 hours passed with tireless work in the lab by all. The first layer of the mystery of the ILLUMINE was uncovered. Barnes was promoted to lab technician to Thabre, Natalie technician to Blixa and Steve became the low man on the totem pole, the funky lab assistant. Xhosa became intrigued by the research and worked closely with the other big brains: Trine Haugen, Tony, Banner and Dandalo. The lab had been closed with lights out for only four hours over the last three days. Everyone was tired. 

Bucky was the only occupant of the cinema room when Tony entered. Buck was behind the bar setting up for customers.

"You know you don't have to do that." Tony took a stool at the bar.

"I love bartending." Bucky laid a napkin in front of Tony.

"You've worked three days nonstop in the lab."

"I love doing that, too. Can I take your order?"

"Alright, how about a vodka gimlet and I'll take the Vikingfjord, but don't tell Trine I put lemon in her vodka."

"A bartender never tells."

Buck sat the drink in front of Tony and Tony drank. He emptied the glass in three swallows. Like any good bartender who assesses their customers emotional state as soon as they entered the bar, Buck had the foresight to make a triple. He filled Tony's glass out of the shaker.

"When we came back . . . what, was it just two weeks ago? The first thing you said to us was you were in some trouble."

Tony choked on his drink. He did not answer.

"Maybe you'll tell your bartender what you won't tell a . . . a . . . fr . . . another person." Buck stammered over the word friend. 

"What trouble are you in Tony?"

Tony appeared as closed mouthed as a Aldeberon shellmouth.

Buck continued, "you know that movie you love so much? Where the hero is just about to buy it, and the posse arrives just in the nick of time? Well, Tony the posse has arrived. What's the trouble?"

Tony finished off the second drink. He set the coupe on the bar and looked at his bartender. 

"You won't like it."

Bucky filled Tony's glass again without breaking eye contact.

"Yeah I will. I will like it. I'll like it because I know, whatever it is, I can do something about it." Bucky stared straight into Tony's face.

Tony stared back, "what can you do?"

"The things I do best."

Tony took a drink and shook off Buck's stare.

"What the hell. It's going to be on the news any day now anyway."

Steve walked in with Trine and Xhosa. Tony showed some relief but they went to a sofa.

"Tony?"

"It has to do with some things," Tony gestured all over with his hands, emphasized the word things, "I had to do over the last year."

Buck figured as much. Tony was in trouble for helping him. 

Bruce Banner arrived and sat by Tony at the bar.

Tony said aside to Buck, "you're the only one that's asked." 

Tony turned to face Banner. Tony spoke with Banner awhile. He finished his third drink and wandered away from the bar. He laid himself out on the sofa, cuddled a pillow, and fell asleep.

"Been a long day," Bruce said. Bucky served Banner his call.

"Trine has asked me to start seeing you professionally again. Is that what you want?" Dr. Bruce Banner asked Bucky.

"Would that even be, uh, ethical, I mean . . . "

"You mean the Tranquility? I'm not using it. I haven't since we talked in the bathroom."

"But how? Why?"

"Oh, hearing how stupid I sounded. A drug created petite Hulk, no I created petite Hulk by my own emotional control. I've acknowledged emotions other than anger in myself, other strong emotions like the desire to save, to rescue, to help. That's why I became a Doctor in the first place. A drug can't do that. Tranquility made me guilt free? No, I resolved some issues. A drug made me work like the devil? No, I did that. I did it all. I decided to be more social. I'm clean, Buck. Do you want me to drop a urine?"

"No, Bruce, I don't," Buck laughed. "Can you make time for me tomorrow? I'd love to talk to you about some things I downloaded."

"Sure thing."

Dandalo, Thabre and Blixa joined Banner at the bar. Blixa engaged Banner and they moved to a table. Dandalo sat on the sofa, at Tony feet. Thabre looked Buck up and down.

"How can you look rested without resting?" Thabre searched every inch of Buck's face as if witnessing the birth of a planet. Thabre was smitten. Thabre followed Bucky. Thabre's eyes were always on Bucky. It was Thabre who requested Barnes be promoted to lab technician and Thabre gave Bucky work way beyond his pay grade to try to impress him, which it did. Bucky loved the challenge, and the fact someone thought him capable. Thabre taught Bucky everything known about ILLUMINE, which was considerable and useful. Thabre looked dreamingly at Bucky and blatantly flirted, not caring if Natalie was around or not. 

Buck was fascinated by the creature. Thabre was fascinating. Thabre had immediate intense emotional responses that played out in a constant shuffling of the birth and death of color in the eyes. Barnes struggled with his own floods of emotion, and he marveled at the alien's ability to flow seamlessly from one emotional event to another, effortlessly, without judgment, without pain. Buck watched Thabre to gather clues on how this was done. Bucky would love to process his own emotions that fluidly. 

Buck was friendly, kind and patient with Thabre. He seemed to enjoy the attention, and to legitimately like the alien. When Steve asked Bucky about what was obviously a serious infatuation on Thabre's part Buck replied:

'Who wouldn't want a friend from another planet'. Steve heard this before. Buck said it in the 1940s. Who wouldn't want a Marxist for a friend or a Freudian for a friend so this was nothing new. 

Thabre had not tried to hypnotize Bucky with the eyes or push sexual curiosity as Blixa had done with Banner. Thabre was expert at reading Bucky's responses and adjusted masculine/feminine depending on Buck's tone of voice and body language. Thabre watched and waited for a turn in Bucky that would indicate authentic passion in a relationship Thabre consider true love.

****

Natalia Romanova shot into the room, grabbed the remote and turn on MSNBC.

"There's something about Tony in the news."

The flash of light and color, loud rapid voices, and canned rock music entered the peaceful inner sanctum of the cinema room. It could only be one thing – the irritating sounds of the News. Tony opened his eyes but did not move. Alarms from Jarvis added to the chaos that fill the room up fast. 

Andrea Mitchell spoke. She told the world a source familiar with the proceedings reported that the Justice Department would soon file charges against Tony Stark for:

Fraternizing with an Alien  
Withholding military secrets  
Violation of eminent domain  
Reckless endangerment  
Compromising national security  
Violation of allegiance

No one moved. All eyes were fixed on the screen. All faces were in a state of shock except Thabre who's eyes remained on Bucky wondering how Bucky's lips could forever be that deep pink color and his blue eyes so crystal clear.

"What does it all mean, Tony?" Steve asked.

"It means the government is trying to appropriate my Alien and my Alien Technology." 

Dandalo glanced at the wrist band on it's wrist. Apprehension showed on the Alien's face.

Bucky stood by Tony. He was silent. His dilated pupils spoke 1000 words but he only needed seven, 'who do you want me to kill'.

Natalie join Bucky, "Tony, no one is going to take your machine or your Alien."

Tony instructed Jarvis to call an emergency Avengers meeting for 48 hours.

The buoyancy in the room deflated. The warm feelings of an evening of relaxation were over. Fatigue set in with the dark realization of the news and the fight ahead.

"I'll have to call my lawyers." Tony bounced to the door.

Dandalo's apprehension notched up. Dandalo bristled. Explosions of color raced across the eyes. Tony stopped at the door like he'd forgotten something. "What are you sitting their for? Come on," he barked at Dandalo. Dandalo relaxed a little and followed Tony. 

Natalie cornered Bucky behind the bar. She noted his dilated pupils and said, "let's go home."

Bucky laid the bar towel on the bar and focused on the reassuring eyes of Thabre. 

"Sure." 

His limbs grew heavier with each step he made towards their room. When he reached the bed he could not hold himself up right.

"Will you come to bed as soon as you can?"

"Two minutes," she said.

He watched her in the bath as she undressed.

"Why don't you look pregnant? Are you sure you're pregnant? Or is someone playing with my mind?"

Natalie's heart skipped a beat. She stared at the brush she held in her hand. Darkness descended over he at this paranoid statement from Barnes. She held her breath but made a decision to ignore it.

"Banner said I will show anytime now Angel."

"Why do you call me Angel? You know I'm no angel." His voice rattled.

Natalie laid on the bed beside him in her underwear. He sighed. He held her. He petted her hair. He ran his hand down her body and drew her to him. She stroked him and peered into his dark eyes. His pupils were large and black.

"I've called you Angel for a year and you've said nothing." 

"You know I am El Diablo. You know I'm the devil. You know I'll do the devil's work. Tony went to extremes for me. For all this. And now, here comes the consequences. You know I will go to extremes for him. I'm trapped . . . but there's no bars. Tony will order me to kill . . . and I will."

"I'm sure you will not."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because you didn't kill Zemo."

"Only because they asked me not to."

"Oh really? Is that the truth?"

"It felt like I was gonna kill him . . . I'm not sure."

"That's right. You're not sure - are you? But I AM sure. I'm sure of you. I call you Angel because I'm sure."

To her tiny hands his head seemed as big as a bear's. She pushed his thick wavy hair back from his face with both hands. Her hands luxuriated and his lion's mane.

"Look at you. I imagine what you must have looked like as a small boy. I do that a lot. I can see you in my mind as clear as I see you right now. Your youth, your laugh, your innocence, your shinning eyes. I can see you with your mother; how she must have loved you. She played with you. I hear her call you Angel."

Massive tears sprung from his eyes and bolted down his cheeks.

"She did call me Angel. My sisters were Baby, Toots and Sugar. I was Angel, always Angel. How did you know?" Another stream of tears flowed. Natalie kiss the salty tears off his lips and brushed them from his face.

"Because I know the truth about you and so did she. You're an innocent, Buck, nothing you've done was malicious or premeditated. You did not decide to harm anyone. I call you Angel to remind you of your true self, of how you were born, a perfect being."

"Say it again."

"Angel."

"Again."

"My angel."

Aroused, he kissed her passionately.

"Let me lead you." Natalie kissed the remaining tears from his face.

"You know, they're probably full of ILLUMINE."

"All this is a little much. Isn't it?"

"I'm separated from everyone . . . everyone on earth."

"Not from me."

"I've infected you."

"Whatever that means. Whatever it brings. We'll go through it together. That's what I want."

Another wellspring of huge tears flowed down his face. This time he shook them off. "Aha." He growled and moved on to her.

"You'll get out of this quicker if I lead you."

"I am out." His tears had washed the darkness from his eyes. "Tonight, I lead."

"I'll fight ya for it," she teased.

"Well, Honey. Do what you can – you're trained." 

And she did.

"What's a fellow have to do around here to stay on top?"

"Okay, I think you could use some time up there."

He held her. He kissed her. She surrendered to him.

They laid together in an altered state. She was fascinated with his hair. Her hands were in his hair to stay. She scrunched his hair and shut her eyes. If his hair was the same color as it felt, she thought, it would be green. The lush green of cool leaves or tall thick grass – as sensual and alive as a rain forest. She rocked his head gently back-and-forth by her grip. She went in for a deep look: deep into his eyes.

"The way you look at me." He took it in. He'd give his life for that look.

They laid like that until he slid down her chest. He stretched his human arm between her legs and up her back. His face on her abdomen, his ear pressed to her belly, he searched for sounds of the five-month-old fetus within her.

"This baby is a miracle," he said softly.

"That would be a good name," she whispered, her hands still in his hair.

"Miracle Barnes?"

"Miracle Romanova."

"Miracle Barnes."

"Miracle Romanova."

"Miracle Romanova Barnes?"

"Yes, Miracle Romanova Barnes."

****

First thing the next morning the Torn delegation was slated for departure. All involved were sad to see them go. Banner, Bucky and Tony walked to the Time Machine with the three Androgyns.  
Thabre was visibly upset. Dandalo was not.

Beyond Thabre's obvious infatuation with Bucky they had become close friends. Thabre's look of distress was the most pathetic ever seen. Being empathetic with Thabre, Bucky was moved emotionally as well. Thabre's eye colors circled dark blue and black – like liquid swirling in anticipation of a cataclysm. Thabre, the tallest of the Torn race looked shrunken, deflated, like a failure. Bucky was unsure how to respond. Thabre gave so much to Bucky, and Bucky gave so little back. Bucky opened his arms to Thabre, something he had never done and Thabre gladly excepted. They held each other a good long time. 

Bucky spoke, "I know we'll meet again."

"I know it too," and Thabre believed it.

Bucky stood back and looked into the mysterious eyes of Thabre. The hug, the statement, did not seem enough, and without much thought, Bucky took off his shirt and gave it to Thabre. The Alien acted as if Bucky had given a diamond mine. Thabre held the shirt. Thabre hugged the shirt. Thabre kissed the shirt.

"This is the shirt you wore the first time I saw you," the emotional Thabre said to Bucky.

Deeply touched that Thabre would remember such an insignificant thing; Bucky opened his arms again to Thabre. 

Thabre stood unable to move. Unable to respond. Unable to process the possibility of hugging Bucky's bare chest.

The onlookers, Tony, Dandalo, Banner and Blixa were moved by the depth and beauty of Thabre's love for Bucky and the display of emotion by the pair. 

Thabre could not stand another second of sorrow, signaled to Blixa and Dandalo. They nodded with their eyes to each other and the delegation from Torn stepped through the time portal together. A hum – a click – a swirl of gas and they were gone. Bucky stood with his arms outstretched and watched as the dust from the passing swirled about his feet. The winds of time blew through his mind, and he was stung with regret.

"Why wouldn't Thabre hug me again?" Bucky turned to the others with his empty arms still waiting.

"Brother, can he really be that dense?" Tony said flippantly to Banner. 

Tony flipped a glance at Bucky. "You need a talking to."

Tony answered a beep from his messenger. "Comey is on the phone . . . gotta go. Bruce, take care of this will ya?" 

****

All 6'5" of James Comey sat in Tony's office. He looked like a grasshopper folded up in Tony's small yellow desk chair. 

Tony was perched behind his desk like an owl. They talked for hours reviewing Tony's personal files. Comey closed his laptop.

"Mr. Stark, you should never use Romanova and Barnes as simple combatants. They should be used only as spies."

"And assassins?"

"That too. Your male's price skyrockets after that Zemo incident. They're calling it a soft kill – you can get rid of your opponent and not have to worry about murder? Gruesome." Comey shuttered his shoulders, head and hands.

"He's paying for it. He's not a sociopath, you know." Tony played with a paperclip in his hand, twisted it into shapes.

"I heard that. That's tough. That's tragic, really."

"So, what kind of money are you talking about?" Tony put the paper clip on the desk.

"Per job or ownership?"

"First one then the other."

"Per job would be target based, of course. Say, head of state – 7 to 10 million – out right ownership – 40 to 50 million. Are you thinking of selling?"

"No . . . no . . . just curious. We've had a hard time coming up with a cover for 'em."

"Oh! I have a cover. I have a cover no one could break and a mission of the upmost importance. If I can have them?"

"How much are you willing to pay?"

"What?" Comey said shocked.

"Joke – of course you can have 'em. If they'll go. You know we have a complication."

"Well, yes I do know. They will penetrate Putin's inner circle."

"Oh, they'll go." Tony said emphatically. "When?"

"Six months of training which can be done here at Solaris. One month of actual work if all goes well."

Tony counted around on his fingers. "That might work." He picked up the paper clip again. "But six months training. What cover could take six months?"

"Dancers. They'll be dancing with the Avant-Garde Modern Dance Troupe in Australia. We have an excellent operative already embedded. A native. Aboriginal. Great dancer. Swell fellow. Putin can't resist dancers . . . of either sex, I hear."

"You're right. They're perfect for it."

****

Bruce and Natalie, Steve and Bucky sat in the interview room around the great marble table. They were joined by Jane Foster who came as proxy for Thor who needed more travel time. She lived and worked in Death Valley and made the short trip. She sat by Natalie. They were in deep conversation. Sam Wilson made the trip from Seattle. Clint Barton hopped a plane and was present. Wanda flew in. All other voting Avengers sent their votes electronically, by Skype or conference call. Tony took the stage.

"My embrace of the Sokovia Accords was predicated on the supposition there would always be a sane POTUS sitting in the oval office. Well, that theory is shot to shit. I have rescinded my signature. If the Accords were presented to me today I wouldn't even consider signing. All in favor of pulling out of the Sokovia Accords signify by saying aye." The vote was unanimous.

"All in favor of reconstituting the Avengers. Signify by say aye." Again, all voted yes. 

"I'm kinda done with revenge." Tony mumbled offhand. "Maybe we need a new name. Maybe . . . The Admonishers. Well . . . that's for another time."

"Next order of business. James Barnes has been asked by me to join the Avengers. All in favor say aye." All the Avengers in the room and remotely said yes.

"The aye's have it. James Barnes welcome officially to the Avengers."

"Thank you."

"The last item is not an Avengers issue. This is a personal individually based decision." Tony stood tall and stuck out his chin.

"I have been engaged in high treason on every level possible to overthrow the current administration."

As the last syllable of the word treason lingered in the air, Bucky jumped out of his seat and stood at attention by Tony's side, alert and cautious . . . like sentry. Tony acknowledged his presence with a look of surprised acceptance. Surprised acceptance looked very similar to pride. The crew summarized after this display that Bucky would dispatch anyone Tony named off the planet. 

With his eyes still on Barnes, Tony said. "Anyone else want to help me?"

"Hey! Klaatu!" Clint said to Tony. "If you've got Gort here. What do you need me for?"

"Clint. We are trying to overthrow the administration legally. Like by impeachment." Tony said.

Bucky did not believe that for one moment.

"Oh. Right . . . sorry. My alleged criminal mind was working overtime. Well, I'm in."

"Thor abstains from politics but I'd love to help. I'm totally in. There's a lot of things I can help you with." Jane said.

"I think you can. Thank you."

"Yeah. The guy's a bully of the highest order, so yes," Cap said.

"That's a yes for me. I just do whatever Cap does," said Falcon.

"Yes, can't wait." Natalie made her decision.

"Yes, I am in," Wanda said.

All remotes were affirmative.

"Thank you. Thank you all. Now I want to introduce James Comey."

The man a dichotomy of letters, overly tall and overly shy he entered the room like a giraffe in a Winnebago. He walked right to Bucky and plopped Bucky's backpack on the table in front of him.

"I think this is yours?" 

"Holy shit."

"Buck?" Said Cap. 

"I mean holy smokes. How did you? Oh yeah – thank you." Bucky shook Comey's hand too strongly. "Nice to meet you – sir."

"I have to take it with me when I leave. I have to put it back. You know what I mean. You have two days, son. You can do what you like with the notebooks. Copy them, forge new books, black out, tear out any incriminating evidence. No one has looked at them seriously yet. It's gibberish to them."

"I'll get right on it. Thank you." Bucky let go of Comey's hand.

"Can we all move to the briefing room and I'll go over the plan."

Natalie and Steve stood by Bucky as the rest of the crew walked by congratulated him and welcomed him to the Avengers team. They shook his hand and slapped him on the back. 

Sam Wilson walked by without speaking to Bucky. Out of the corner of his eye Sam saw the frown on Cap's face. He turned back.

"Don't screw up." Sam gave Buck the eye.

"Thank you Sam." Bucky smiled. Sam Wilson took a few steps from Barnes, stopped and turned back again.

"Hey, look dude. That was harsh. I apologize. I know you've worked hard. I know you've gone through a lot of pain to get as good as you are. I admire that. I really do. So, I sincerely congratulate you, man."

Bucky gave Falcon a big hippie man hug, and Bucky did not let go. 

Falcon resisted and called out: "Hey! Somebody! Get him off me!" 

Everyone in the room laughed out loud including Barnes.   
Bucky stepped back from Falcon.

"Really man. Just don't screw up." Sam said.

Bucky lunged at Sam to hug him again. Sam ran from the room.

"Now I know how to get rid of 'em." Buck laughed. 

Steve shook his head. "Well done, Buck. Well done."

Natalie laughed. She hugged and congratulated her lover as any colleague would. 

Buck whispered in her ear. "I fit in . . . I can feel it." His eyes twinkled and his smile was so bright it filled the room with light.

"You have something here. You really have something." She whispered back.

Slowly people left the room leaving Tony and Bucky last. Buck made a move toward the door. Tony took hold of Bucky's human arm at the elbow and held him. Bucky glanced at Tony's hand on his arm – his human arm – on the flesh of his human arm. His eyes glanced at Tony's face. Buck's lips parted in awe. 

"Welcome to the team." Tony said.

"Thank you." Again, Buck headed for the exit. 

Tony held tight.

"Wait . . . I think you deserve an explanation. All this. Everything that happened here between us was for good reason. I had to be sure." Tony made eye contact with Buck for a deep look. "I had to be sure of you. You may be asked to do much more than the others."

There it was. Buck knew this was coming and here it was. It was real. It wasn't paranoia. Buck knew the next words out of Tony's mouth would be the mission, the assassination, who he wanted Buck to kill. Buck glanced at Tony's hand on his human arm. Now that it was here. It was time for a decision. Buck grabbed a good hold of Tony's arm at the elbow with his human hand; the old Roman hand shake.

"Well, if I can't do what you ask. I think we both know someone who can." Bucky glanced at his cyborg arm and watched the two seconds it took the arm to turn metal and become full strength. He made a fist. He flipped his eyelids open to reveal the black eyes of the Winter Soldier. He made sure Tony got a good look; a good look at what he was prepared to give. Buck glanced away for a few second. One. Two. Three. Four. He raised his eyelids again and looked at Tony. His eyes were azure blue. His arm looked human.

Tony did a double take. 

"You can control like that? In a split second?"

"I've been working on it."

"Do it again." Tony held Buck's arm. His voice sounded excited. 

Buck took a slow breath. A wave moved over him. Tony saw his pupils dilate fully open and his arm turn metal. Buck exhaled and his pupils became normal and the human hologram appeared on his arm.

"Amazing control! Amazing! Now, you've knocked MY socks off." Tony said as he gazed into the baby blue eyes of Bucky Barnes.

"Yeah, I've got control. I've got control of it. All of it . . . The Winter Soldier works for me now. He works when I say. And he's not killing anyone. I'm telling you NO, Tony. I'm not going to kill anyone for you." Buck did not break eye contact with Tony or loosen the grip he had on Tony's arm.

"Eureka! Brother, you just slid into home."

"What?"

"Four years of work. Four long years." Tony glanced at the ceiling. "You just graduated!"

"Huh?"

"Look, I don't want you to kill anyone." Tony said.

"Then what the hell were you talking about – do more than the others?"

"The Putin Caper!"

"Putin?" 

"Come on my man. You need filled in." Tony tugged on Bucky's arm.

"Not so fast." Bucky removed himself from Tony's grip.

"Okay, okay." Tony's hands flew off Bucky like he was too hot to handle. "So you're standing on your own. I acknowledge your personal space, Dude." 

"My name is Buck." 

A huge smile covered Bucky's face, it lit the room. 

"And I'm an AVENGER." 

Bucky smiled at Tony. Tony smiled at Bucky. 

Bucky laughed. Tony laughed. 

Their laughter rang out through the empty room.

Tony opened the door and waved his hand into the future. He beckoned Buck to enter.

"Would you care to join me for the briefing?"

Buck stepped through the doorway. Still laughing he stopped and made eye contact with Tony.

"Yes, I don't mind if I do. Thank you."

Tony laughed loud. He touched Buck on the shoulder. 

Laughing, Buck touched Tony on the back. 

They glanced at each other.

"This looks to be the beginning of a beautiful alliance, Buck."  
The door slammed shut.

THE END

Of Book Two  
The Three Stigmata of Bucky Barnes

DISCLAIMER

All publicly recognizable characters, or settings, etc., are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. This work is done purely for entertainment only.


	3. The Strange Loves of Bucky Barnes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Book Three and the last book of the Bucky Bites Series

The Bucky Bites Series

Book Three

The Strange Loves of Bucky Barnes

"I've never seen a newborn this alert." The obstetrician handed Natalia Romanova her newborn baby daughter. Nat was not in the hospital. She was in the BARF room at Solaris, on the same gurney Bucky had taken his treatments, on the same gurney they spent their first night together – seemed like a lifetime ago.

"Oh, look Angel. She has your eyes." Natalie was exhausted but still talking.

"She has your hair," Bucky said.

There was truth in all three statements. Her eyes were as round and bright as her father's only aqua in color. Her hair was the consistency and texture of her mother's but bright crayon yellow. She was alert. She studied her environment with her eyes as if she understand everything that was going on.

"She's so small." Nat said.

"4 lbs. 5 oz.… She's term… She's fine. She's just a little one."

"Look at you... look at you." Natalie inspected Miracle Romanova Barnes.

"Welcome to Earth." Bucky talked right into the baby's face. "Where did you come from? You shot into this room ... like ... a a...nova, or ... a meteor, or ... a falling star. You brightened up the place."

The baby stared at him like she understood every word.

"Look at her looking at me," he said to Natalie. "She knows me. It's like she knows me... Do you know me?"

Bucky was interesting to the baby for a minute until something else attracted her attention.

"What's she doing?" Nat asked the doctor.

"Rooting. That's it… That's what she's looking for."

"Oh…" Nat said, "I see."

The baby clamped onto Nat's small but exquisite breast.

The baby looked into her mother's eyes and looked into her father's eyes and she shut her eyes, confident in her comfort. Her mouth ran on reflex.

Tony and Bruce, already on the periphery of the scene, wandered out of sight. The doctor joined them. Steve stood by the door and turned to exit.

"Where do you think you're going?" Bucky said.

"Well… I was gonna leave, you know... the family unit - "

"Oh no you don't. Sit down," Buck insisted. "Right here." Cap followed orders. 

Slack-jawed, exhausted from a few minutes at the breast, the baby slept. Bucky plucked her out of her mother's arms and put her onto Steve's lap.

"What? Wait!" Steve adjusted himself and the baby sunk into his warm chest and arms without waking.

"Now –" Bucky waved his hands around. "Now, here is the family unit." 

Steve's jaw went a little slack himself and his eyes glisten with moisture.

"This mission is gonna take more than two people - you care for this baby – I need to care for the mother right now." Bucky slipped onto the gurney with Nat and folded her in his arms.

"Let me rub your back." He held and petted her.

"Oh ... yes ... right there." She relaxed in his arms and her eyes shut.

Bucky looked over her head at Cap. Steve had never seen a look like that on his friends face. He had not seen a look like that on anyone's face. Steve felt beads of perspiration pop out across his forehead. His throat felt dry like it was going to close up. He knew his face looked similar to Bucky's. 

Buck signaled with his eyes for Cap to look at the baby. She was wide-awake looking right at him. He open his mouth to speak.

"Shhhh." Buck pointed to Nat who was asleep in his arms.

Cap glanced at the baby. She looked into his eyes. Her long eyelashes fluttered and she snuggled into his chest and fell asleep. Cap looked around the room. He repeatedly blinked his eyes until they shut. He saw himself in his mind eye, sitting in the big chair, the baby asleep in his arms; Bucky and Nat asleep on the gurney. He saw himself in the room. He saw himself in Solaris. He saw himself on the Earth. He saw himself in the universe. The next thing he knew Bucky whispered in his ear:

"Hey, Tony and Bruce haven't seen her." Buck lifted the baby out of Steve's arms and walked to the control panel. He spread her blanket so the men could see the full length of her. His eyes look the same as before. He had earnestness in his voice.

"That was a long labor. How's Nat?" Tony asked. 

"I have never seen such heroism. It was like her insides were being ripped out of her… hour after hour… with no let up." Bucky's eyes glistened with emotion. "And the thing is… she'd do it again in nine months ... if she could. There's no field of battle where I have seen such bravery. I've never seen anything like it." To Buck, the world has become a clear place over the last few hours.

Tony and Bruce gathered around him and supported him by touching his back and arm and purring in the face of the beautiful creature he held. She wiggled around in his arms and woke up. She opened her eyes.

"I never thought I'd ever have anything like this." Buck was a goner.

She rooted around on him and finding him lacking she opened her mouth and wailed.

"What a noise," Tony laughed. "What a mouth."

"I don't have what you want kid." 

Bucky took the baby to Natalie.

"Look at this." She exposed her breast to Bucky. On the tip of the nipple was a drop of breastmilk.

"It looks like…" 

"Yes… You gave me your ... essence. And I… Give…"

"Give it back… So I…"

"Yes."

Bucky saw himself in the room. He saw himself in his own the ILLUMINE enhanced super soldier semen. He saw himself in the ovum. He saw himself in the moment of creation. He saw himself in the universe. He looked back at Natalia and he saw himself in that one tiny drop of breastmilk. The baby was his in a new way.

****

And so it came to pass, the name Miracle Romanova Barnes did not roll off the tongue as expected. From the day of her birth, the wild haired, bright eyed daughter of James Buchanan Barnes and Natalia Alianovna Romanova: the day she streaked to earth, into existence, born of nothing, full of ILLUMINE, she existed, and was henceforth know as Nova. 

Nova: the interaction between two stars that causes a flare up that is perceived as a new entity that is much brighter than the two stars before.

****

Buck showed up in the weight room with Nova strapped to his chest in a newborn baby carrier.

"What's this?" Steve asked.

"Natalie said she carried her for nine months and now it's my turn."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah – this is my baby." Bucky shrugged his shoulders and raised his hands like that is simply how it works.

"You're gonna lift like that?"

"She looks happy to me."

Nova did look happy. Her canary yellow hair stuck up like a ducklings and she slept soundly with her head on Bucky's pec where she could feel the vibration of his speech and hear the steady beating of his heart. Steve swore she had a smile on her face, but he had done his research: he knew Nova would not be smiling, for real, for months. They started their work out.

"I bathe her. I dressed her. I pick her up when she cries. I am in charge of this baby. I get up in the night and bring her to Nat... Natalie says she's in charge of the input and I'm in charge of the exput." Buck laughed.

"Great job you've got there buddy."

"Hey ... that's tricky business ... you can really mess that stuff up." Bucky said all seriousness.

"Wow."

"Yeah, she serious. This is my baby." Bucky added mumbling, "she said it's for my own good."

****

After three months of 24 hour care of a newborn baby Natalia was ready for a change. Even with Buck's constant attention to the babies needs, Nat was engorged and sore from breastfeeding every two hours. She was restless and itched for action.

Bucky, on the other hand, was happy to care for Nova and would have done the same thing, day in and day out, for the rest of his long life. He changed her, bathed her, dressed her, carried her all over Solaris and up and down the beach. He played with her and read to her. He looked her in the eye and talk to her in different languages. In the evening he wrote down every developmental milestones in her baby book. But he had skin in the game of, what was known as, the Putin Caper and he was highly motivated to succeed on the mission.

The arrival of the choreographer could not have been better timed. The choreographer/trainer/instructor was to be followed, a few weeks later, by the arrival of the third dancer.

To Nat's surprise the choreographer was none other than Phil Coulson, cellist and classically trained dancer in his youth. He coached dancers and dabbled with dance choreography in his 'real life'. Natalie hugged and kissed him a few hundred times and they discussed near death experiences. Coulson became uneasy and changed the subject. He gave his future dancers an overview of the dance for three he had created. The costumes, the make up, the set design, the music, all from the mind of Phil Coulson.

He had choreographed a shockingly risqué modern dance with the basic premise of a man, played by Bucky, and a woman, played by Natalie, struggle to dominate the other sexually. The addition of the third person, a male, lead to the mind blowing third act. 

Cobar Pendari, the third dancer had danced Coulson's dance called, EDge PLay, with two other Australian dancers. Bucky and Nat would adopt their identities. EDge PLay had come to the attention of The Avant-garde Dance Troupe coordinator in Sydney, Australia. The story, with the help of Coulson and all of SHEILD, created massive hype and EDge PLay was known throughout the dance world. EDge PLay did not disappoint. 

The three dancers and choreographers were asked to play in Sydney for two weeks and on to the world tour. First stop: Moscow. This is where Bucky and Nat would take over. All shows were sold out in advance from the hype. 

Nova would go as far as Helsinki and stay in a heavily fortified hotel with her au pair, Scarlet Witch; her Godfather, Steve Rogers plus Tony Stark and three personal robots he had outfitted to care for and protect the child. Forget any and all of Asimov's Laws of Robotics, these robots were programmed to kill: anything, anyone, any person, any human that threatened Nova. They rented the whole top floor of the hotel and the roof with heliport. 

Coulson explained, in brief, the escapade before them and reassured Bucky and Nat they would be brought along slowly into the rigors of dance. Tony gave a short speech describing the missions objectives: retrieve video recording made when the current POTUS stayed in a hotel in Moscow before he was elected. Intelligence knew the whereabouts of these videos and projected, once made public, the reveal would help the current political situation. Coulson assumed knowing Putin's habits, kinks, fetishes, and how he kept up with the world of dance like an obsession, it would not take long for Putin to see the show. In fact, he was expected the first night.

It was estimated that Bucky, Nat and team would be gone from Solaris four weeks at the most.

Coulson's dance was acrobatic and modern. The training of Natalia and Bucky was rigorous and painful but it was, thankfully, not ballet.

Steve, Bucky and Nat followed the same warm-up routine they did every morning. They started with the double team which had evolved into a fierce competition. Last in each morning was the first to be double teamed. Problem was Natalie was never the last one in - until this day. Buck came in first with his three month old baby daughter strapped to his chest. She was alert and strong. She had her whole fist in her mouth. She carried herself like she was the center of the world, which she was. In attendance was one of Tony's personal robots adapted for infant care. Buck was dressed in Danskin, dance belt and dance shoes, all in black, and a plain white V-neck short-sleeved T-shirt. The dance belt; the arch of his back; the tight fabric over his ass, attracted the eye. There was something wild looking about him – cardinal.

"Wow, you look…" Steve said from the door.

Bucky touched the dance belt, "it's actually comfortable. Like – nothing moves."

"Where's Natalie?"

"Held up."

"Damn, you mean we have to double-team her?"

Buck settled Nova in her playpen.

"There's nothing else to do. We can't say a thing." Buck dropped to his hands and knees on the mat and raised his human arm beckoning Steve to join him. Steve did. Bucky put his arm around Steve's waist. He held him tight and gave him an extra tug towards him and Steve's body bent to his pressure. They glanced at each other. With a mischievous glint in his eye Bucky called out, "one, two, three, go." And they went.

The men wrestled on the floor. The scene unfolded like this: Bucky pinned Steve – Steve tapped out; Bucky pinned Steve with another hold – Steve tapped out; Bucky pinned Steve with an extreme hold and Steve tapped out, and on, and on, and on.

"Hey, sorry I'm late – but I'm ready." Natalie picked up a kendo stick. The men attacked her. She fought valiantly then she stopped.

"You assholes are holding back."

"I AM NOT!" Steve said loudly.

"Yes you are. And you too." She pointed at Bucky.

"ME?"

"Yeah you. Come on you guys. You aren't doing me any favors. I'm going on the Russian mission, you know," Nat yelled. 

She cracked Steve across the ass with the Kendo stick.

"Ouch! That hurt."

Nat pounded the end of the stick on Bucky's ballet shoe.

"Dammit Honey!"

The boys attacked Natalie again. Soon, all three combatants were sweating profusely. Bucky glanced at Steve when Nat looked away and gave him an encouraging look. The men had upped their game.

"STOP this right now," Coulson yelled. "You guys are way too violent. Find some other way to warm up besides a death match. I can't afford to have my dancers injured." 

Bucky broke out with a smile.

"Yeah - sure - fine - great idea," Steve winked.

"Okay… for now… " Nat said. "But you asshole are not going to get away with this bullshit indefinitely."

"Sure Nat, sure." Bucky and Steve's smiled to each other in relief. The two men huddled over the towel rack wiping the moisture from their faces.

"Man, this new motherhood thing is intense. She scares me." Bucky wiped the back of his neck.

"Well, I'm gonna go run." Steve's hand hovered over that curve, the curve of Bucky lower back. He thought better of it and touched his shoulder.

"Later pal."

Buck jutted his chin out in an affirmative gesture.

****

After four weeks of grueling work, Cobar Pindari, the Australian Aboriginal third dancer came to Solaris. Immediately, Cobar started educating Bucky and Nat on the Australian language, Australian accent and slang. He downloaded apps for them to listen to in their free time. Coulson instructed the team to talk with each other extensively. There was no worry there; Cobar never shut up. Between the fast-paced cadence of his speech, his accent, slang and colloquialisms, Bucky and Nat strained to understand him. They found him fascinating, funny and furious on the dance floor. Cobar was a hard body.

A dancers body is different from an acrobat, a weightlifter, a boxer or even a surfers body. Natalie felt she was being stretched in two. Bucky said he never knew his ass cheeks could hurt and he complained of his ankles and the arches of his feet aching. Bucky felt his pelvis would snap like the wishbones his mother let dry out on the kitchen sink on Thanksgiving for the kids to snap for luck.

Cobar entered the room for the afternoon session. He did not complain. He had been a dancer since age 13. He body was fine tuned and he was as limber as any child. He dressed similar to Buck with black dance skin, dance shoes and dance belt but he wore a sleeveless black T-shirt. He was a few inches shorter than Bucky but heavier built. He had a huge blonde spot of curly hair that covered the top and left side of his otherwise dark hair. He cut his hair straight across his eyebrows and off again about ear length. His hair grew every which way but he just let it be. Blond hair was not that odd with the dark skinned Aborigines: the genetic mutation for blonde hair in his people was common. He had even teeth and a bright smile. His eyes were shiny black. You could not tell where the pupil ended and the iris started. You had to strain to see any white in his eye at all. His eyes danced around all jolly, his mouth always in a smile, his body in constant movement. He was heavily tattooed down both arms and across his chest as far as anyone could see.

Coulson showed a film of Cobar doing the dance with the real dancers. Watching the film was the start of every afternoon session. EDge PLay was violent, sexually explicit, dark and sensational. 

Act 1 of the ballet opened with the man sitting on the stage alone. The woman enters, they court and have sex. In Act 2, the man and woman try to dominate each other sexually. The dance to dominate the other becomes more violent and extreme. They use more extreme measures to overpower the other, like trickery and deception, black magic, drugs, bondage and physical force. They become obsessed and exhausted. In Act 3, the third party, Cobar, joined the couple for the violent ending. 

Part of Bucky and Cobar's costume was a graphical real looking, three times life-size penis. The penis grew and retracted. Natalie commented many times how real the sex looked on the film. You could actually see the man enter the woman but it was all fabric and cardboard. The costuming and choreography transformed the men into animalistic looking images with oversize penises.

No matter what Colson did to Bucky and Nat he felt they looked too sophisticated so he gave them stage names of Beau and Billie Bondi to lighten things up. In costume and in stage make up the three dancers did not have to move to take your breath away. 

As the ballet progressed things got more and more sexually explicit, in act three extremely so. Cobar was required to touch Natalie in private areas. Cobar also is required to touch Buck in private places. Buck and Natalie manhandled Cobar in extreme ways. 

This day, Colson requested Cobar to repeat many times a sequence he was not getting right, that required him to touch Natalie in these personal spaces, over and over and over again. Buck became restless and paced around the room and tried to place his attention elsewhere. He took it. He took it. He took it. Until he blew. His arm turned metal, his pupils dilated, and he pushed Natalie to the hall with his physical presence only.

"What? What? What are you doing?" Natalie yelled as she backed into the hall. "Stop it!"

Buck did not stop. He backed her into a corner and put both arms on the wall circling her. He did not touch her. He intimidated her. Natalie crossed her arms over her chest turned her face away and leaned on the wall. The fierce look on Buck's face would scare anyone.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" she said.

"What the hell is wrong with YOU? You're letting him paw you…" Buck growled in the back of his throat.

"Don't growl at me like an animal."

Buck opened his mouth and growled with such force his breath blew Natalie's hair back from her face. He snapped at her like he was going to bite her.

She slapped his face. "Stop it – snap out of it ... I'm acting ... It's a part. This is a play, you fool!" 

Bucky's head flipped back and he dropped his hands to his sides. He found some words.

"You ACT like you like it." He towered over her. 

She didn't answer but grabbed the hair that hung on each side of his head like a lions mane.

"There is one thing you can count on. I will never lie to you." She looked him in the eyes. "I do like it."

He averted his eyes. She held him by the hair.

"Look at me." 

He did.

"But I don't like it well enough to act on it. It's like... It's like... acting. Like playing around... He's molesting you too - like those other men did." 

Bucky pulled back. 

She held him tight. "It looks like YOU like it. Do you? Do you?" 

She shook his head by his hair.

"You've made your point."

"Listen to me," she spoke low and looked up into his face.

He turned away. She held him with two handfuls of hair.

"Listen to me," she whispered. "You know what we might have to do to complete this mission?"

"Mmm." Buck rumbled.

"Are you going to consummate your attraction to Cobar?"

"That couldn't be further from my mind."

"That's exactly how I feel."

Buck shook his head, shut his eyes and thought a minute. She was right. He shrugged and pressed his lips together; they spread into a grin. 

Natalie grinned and glanced at him from head to foot.

"Your passion is showing," she said.

"Hum…" Buck smiled. "You could take care of that for me."

"No." She turned to walk away. 

He blocked her.

"Wait… You told me no?"

"I mean later."

"But it's here now." Buck gesture to this clearly defined erection under his Danskin.

"Get real - A light breeze gets you hard. Just put your dance belt back on."

"This is different."

"It's not different."

"Look again."

****

The next day, practice was not doing well.

"Buck, your timing is off. Try counting 123...123."

They tried their routine again. Natalia fell and hit the ground hard.

"Bucky, you're timing is for shit - what's wrong?"

"I don't know, Phil, I was up half the night."

Natalie, squat on the ground, rubbed her leg. "Did the baby keep you up?"

"No, I had a weird dream."

Cobar's ears picked up - wide-eyed – he fixed on Buck.

"Not those dreams?" Nat said.

"No. No. Not that! Some weird shit - like someplace I've never been like a strange land and a strange song – it's hanging on me, like a hangover."

"Okay. Fellows, take a break and I'll work with Natalie."

Cobar and Buck fell onto the mat exhausted. Buck stretched out and took off his dance shoes, leg warmers and the dance belt he wore over his dance gear. He rubbed his feet and ankles.

"You dreamed a song?" This was the first time Buck heard Cobar say something serious, and four whole words in understandable English, not his usual Australian slang.

"Yeah. I can hear it now. Isn't that funny?" 

Buck laughed and wiped the sweat from his face with a towel.

****

That night, Bucky was disturbed in his sleep. He slipped out of the bed and went out the back door to the beach. He walked straight for the water and tripped over Cobar who slept on the beach swaddled only in a blanket and briefs. Cobar woke up and Bucky hit the ground.

"What are you doing out here?" 

"What are YOU doing out here?"

"I don't know." Buck looked around from his seat on the sand. "I think I was sleepwalking again. Wow – I dream that song again... the landscape ... I was flying following the song."

"Crikey!" Cobar said a slang word that pretty much ment holy shit in Aussie speech.

Bucky focused on Cobar. "Now... Why are you sleeping out here?"

"It's something people from my culture do." Cobar glanced left then right.

"Oh yeah? Come on. I have a major problem at night but I've never experienced anything like this. I followed that song... look where it led me... right to you."

Bucky decided not to pressure him. He shut up and backed up. The wind kicked up a gust. The sand swirled in little tornadoes bursts around the hard packed beach sand. The wind died down as quick as it gusted and the clouds pulled away from the moon.

"Crikey." Cobar starred at Bucky. "Can you still hear the song?"

"Yes. Yes. Over and over."

Astonished Cobar said: "Can you sing it? Can you hum the melody?"

Buck closed his eyes and hummed the tune. Cobar joined in at the last of it as if you knew the song by heart. Buck's eyes flew open and he grabbed Cobar's arm with his cybernetic fingers. Cobar touched Buck's metal arm and let his hand rest on it.

Cobar spoke slow and calm: "I came out here to see if putting some distance between us ... maybe you wouldn't... react."

"React to what?"

"To me… Buck ... to me… "

Cobar's tattoos seemed to glow, shimmer and animate in the silvery moonlight. Bucky rubbed his eyes to see if he was hallucinating. Buck's teeth clamped down on his thumb.

Sober, serious, with perfect English, Cobar explained:

"I was born a shaman. This moon on my chest?" Cobar touched his chest. The moon seem to grow and recede with his breath. 

Bucky squirmed on the sand.

"It's not a tattoo. It's a birthmark. As soon as I could speak I sang the songline in dreamtime."

"What is it?"

"It's ancient. It's real. It's powerful."

"Explain."

"This is how my people make sense of the world. It is said at five months in the womb an ancient spirit enters each fetal body. The spirit has the knowledge of the dreamtime. The spiritual life of my people is connected directly to the land of my people. This connection between the people and the land shows the people how to travel across the land. This knowledge is communicated by the songline. I was a prodigy. I travel all over northern and western Australia singing the songline. At six I knew every river, every field, every mountain, stream, desert and plane of the land even though I had never been there before." Cobar waved his hands over the land. 

Bucky held his breath.

"My songline was so strong sometimes others could hear it even when my mouth was shut ." 

"What? What?" Bucky said.

Cobar looked upset and he gripped Buck's arm tight.

"It's okay - go on," Buck said.

"Alright… Here it is... In dreamtime, sometime others can hear the songline and follow the song to me."

"Damn." Bucky thought for a long time. "Does this mean I'm weak or vulnerable?"

"No. Not at all. It just means you're on the right channel." 

Cobar didn't look any too relaxed.

"But Cobar-" Bucky pulled him close. "I dreamed of vistas. Planets. Nebula. Fantastic spacescapes with the songs."

Cobar escaped Bucky's grip and pushed himself from Bucky; sliding on the sand. 

Buck didn't move and gave Cobar time and space. He looked at him in a sympathetic way.

"I've never spoken of this to any living person, ever. When I approach puberty, as all of my race, I went on a walkabout, alone...a symbol of the transition to manhood. On this trip my songline took flight. Across all the continents. Every land mass and body of water on earth and then it went off the earth... to the moon. It has not stopped. It goes on and on. Things… How could the ancient ones possibly know? It was beyond belief. It was beyond sanity. I totally freaked out...bloody, holy, hell. When I came back from my walkabout. I lied. I told everyone I had lost the songline. This happens sometimes. People do lose or lessen their connection with dreamtime when they grow from child to adult. I even convinced myself I didn't hear the songs or have the visions at night. I barely spoke. My mentor…saw my distress… He told me I would go insane if I didn't find an outlet or a way to communicate. I was paralyzed in my mind and my body. He moved my body in the form of my peoples traditional dance. I did the dancing every day. I threw myself into the dance. The better I got - the more attention I got and the less people focused on the songline. But nothing changed peoples fascination with my moon birthmark and as I matured it became even more defined and darker red. So I got the tattoos telling the story of the songline in symbols."

Cobar explained to Bucky the tattoos across his chest, abdomen, upper arms and thighs. Bucky look them over and back at Cobar's face.

"But I did hear the songs… I do hear the songs." Cobar looked up at the moonscape. His eyes became dreamy and he placed his hands in the sand and scrunched the sand between his fingers.

"I know every inch. Every rock. Every crevice… Crater…The Serpent Sea. The Land of Snow and Frost. The Sea of Nectar. The Bay of Rainbows. The Ocean of Storms. The Lake of Softness, everything. Even the dark side of the moon that no one has seen." Distressed, Cobar's voice broke and he breathed deep.

Buck too, looked out at the moon glistening on the waves. Bucky spoke calmly to Cobar:

"You know, you've joined something here. You're a Shield Agent. You are part of a team. No one here is alone with this kind of knowledge. We, you and I, have to take this to the team. There is no other way. There is simply no other option. We can stay here, right here, for as long as it takes for you to get used to the idea. Cobar, the burden you've been carrying is too much for one person. A burden like this must be shared. This has to come out into the light. It's the best way."

****

Putin came to the Bolshoi on the first night. Putin came backstage and met the company. Putin commanded the room. All eyes were on him until Bucky and Nat walked into the area and Putin froze for a moment. Bucky and Nat had transformed into Beau and Billie Bondi. They walked like dancers with a fluid grace and strength that only elite athletes possess. Natalia's smile lit up the room. Putin took her hand and smiled back at her. As Buck approached, in stage makeup, his eyes could pierce the night or your heart. He stood in front of Putin: near one foot taller. Putin was awkward and speechless for a time. He was cautious and formal but polite. He gushed over how fabulous the ballet was.

"I was so shocked." Putin tapped on his chest. "In the third act I stood right up in the box and never sat back down." He gestured for emphasis.

The third act he referred to, saw 'The Man' and 'The Woman' become exhausted by their struggle to dominate each other and lose interest in each other. 'The Other', (Cobar), came on the scene and was quickly seduced by the woman. She dominated him with ease. The man watched as 'The Other' got pleasure from the woman's advances. The Man became aroused and The Woman shared 'The Other' with The Man. The Man also easily dominated 'The Other'. The Woman joined The Man and they molest The Other. She performs oral sex on 'The Other' and the man fucks him in the mouth. (Simulated with their retractable cocks.) This is the most graphically violent part of the ballet: 'The Others' jaw breaks off. The Man and The Woman continue to sexually assult 'The Other'. The Man sodomized him, from the front, spreading 'The Others' legs so violently that the legs break off his body one by one. The Man was in a state of supreme arousal and continued to fuck the dead body. The Woman attacked The Man and pulled him off 'The Other'. They blame eachother for their playthings death and they fought each other. The Man's penis grew even bigger. He overpowered her. He fucked her so violently she ripped up the middle. Ripped into two pieces - she dies. The Man had destroyed his whole world. He sat on the stage alone, the same spot as the opening and the curtain fell.

Putin returned the next night and came to Billie's dressing room where they were joined by Beau and Cobar. Drinks were served. Billie and Beau are seductive to Putin, but leave in a teasing way. Bucky and Nat go to Helsinki for Sunday and Monday to be with the baby. 

At the Tuesday matinee Putin shows up; Bucky and Nat feel they have him hooked. He invites them for dinner at his enclave. Beau and Billie and Cobar accept. By now they were casually friendly and joked with each other. 

An entourage of 12 cars picked up the dancers. They rode in a car you could not see out the windows. The enclave was traditional and massive. Nat and Buck knew the tapes were in this enclave. They also knew and were prepared for extremely sophisticated security and countermeasures. The three dancers arrived in costume with makeup. Not as extravagant as the ballet makeup but nonetheless not street clothes. Bucky wore a tight sheer costume with the left side cobalt blue with stocking and glove. The costume wrent right up the side of his neck and the side of his face was painted blue with a line around the hairline and across his chin. Inside was white. The rest of his body was exposed flesh or flesh colored sheer covering. His hair was tied in the tail by a black ribbon. He wore extravagant makeup on his eyes. 

Natalia dressed in a blood red flowing dress and Cobar in black. They informed Putin they had a short exhibition dance they choreographed to entertain him after dinner. 

They eat and drink – maybe too much. The ballet begins:

Bucky was buried with his flesh side exposed to view. Natalie dug him up and breathed life into him. His blue side was paralyzed. She played with him but grew tired when she fails to get his blue side to function. She wandered off. He collapsed in despair, the despair of being alone and he buried himself again. This time his blue side was exposed. Cobar stumbled upon him and dug him up. The men interact and Bucky's blue side becomes responsive and the flesh side is heavy and dragging. The men dance together despite Bucky's dysfunction. Natalie returned and the three of them dance together. Both sides of Bucky work.

Putin was drunk, relaxed and flamboyantly yelling encore – encore! The dancers laughed and told him no. Putin was obviously playing right into their hands. They joined him for drinks. Putin glared suspiciously at Cobar and told him to leave. Cobar left the room but was unable to carry out a search. He was escorted to a car and driven back to the dancers hotel in downtown Moscow.

Putin cozied up to Natalie and they talked and whispered to each other. Natalie gave seductive looks. 

Buck drank more than usual. 

She asked Putin to freshen her drink and he eagerly went to the bar for more alcohol. 

Buck rushed to Natalie's side.

"Go to the bathroom."

"No – that's not the plan."

"Go to the bathroom."

"No - Buck."

"Go to the bathroom."

"Alright - dammit."

"Don't come back."

"Angel?"

"Don't come back."

Buck leaned on the bar and watched Putin come around the bar with the drinks.

"Where went the lady?"

"To freshen herself. She'll be back."

Bucky did not break eye contact with Putin. He leaned on one elbow: his cloth covered cybernetic elbow and one hip. He had a slight smile on his face. Buck was cool. The corners of his mouth turned up slightly. A stream of winter blue radiated from his eyes. His face was relaxed.

Putin mimicked Buck's posture at the bar. He stammered and wilts a bit under Buck's primal sexuality; a sexuality that seemed to fill the room.

"I have never seen a creature like you." 

Buck said nothing but looked Putin directly in the eye and did not look away.

Putin examined Buck like Buck was a racehorse he was interested in purchasing.

"I've not seen anything like you since Nureyev."

"You never saw Nureyev." Buck teased.

"I did. I did." Putin was animated. He was having fun. "I was eight years old. He made a lasting impression on me."

Buck's face softened. Putin became reflective.

"He is why I am what I am…" Putin gazed into his drink. "I saw him… But I never had him… But ... I will have you."

Putin leaned in. 

Buck's chest muscles contracted involuntarily and he exhaled through his nose. His lips parted. He intensified the pressure of his stare upon Putin.

Putin advanced towards him.

Bucky bristled; he could not help himself. He sipped his Vodka, never breaking eye contact with Putin.

Putin brushed his hand along Bucky's cheek.

Repulsed, Bucky turned his chin.

Putin's fingers caught the ribbon in Bucky's hair and Bucky caught Putin by the wrist. Slowly, he pushed Putin's hand from his face but it was too late, Putin had a good grip on the ribbon and Bucky's hair fell free. Putin flipped a handful of Bucky's hair around between his fingers and Bucky pushed his hand away. Both men watched as the ribbon hit the ground, as if a feather, carried by the wind. 

Bucky's chest expanded with a deep breath. He felt the adrenaline rush of pupil dilation and he knew his arm, if exposed, would show its true metal. But his reaction only served to heighten Putin's arousal.

With a sharp jerk, Bucky flicked the hair from his face and tightened his grip on Putin's wrist.

"Good God you're magnificent." Putin said and watched Bucky's chest rise and fall with each breath. His blue eyes blazed as if lit from behind. Putin was close enough to feel Buck's body heat. 

With steady pressure on Putin, never breaking his steel gaze into Putin's eyes Bucky stepped toward him. His breathe was audible.

"Ouch – your grip is too tight."

Buck advanced.

"I'm... I'm... into this though." Putin back steped.

Bucky towered over him. Putin crouched and Bucky followed him down. 

Putin went down on one knee. Bucky followed and took him to the floor.

"This is funny and dramatic and a turn on but… but ...I'm not a bottom... you should know that-"

Too late – Bucky took Putin prone on the floor and moved on top of him. He spread Putin's legs with his knees.

"I've never tried this - I mean, how big is it? Let me see it?" Putin stroked Bucky down his flank and across his ass. 

In the blink of an eye, Buck moved his grip on Putin from his wrist to his throat, thereby, ending the one way conversation.

Bucky heard a buzz and he touched the bud in his right ear.

Natalie whispered, "I've got it."

Putin struggled under Bucky's grip; both hands grabbed at Bucky's arm and he kicked his feet. Putin came, or wet himself, or both. Bucky didn't know which but Putin went limp. Buck left him lay on the floor and followed instructions to join Natalia and get the hell out of there.

"How much time do we have?"

"He's unconscious."

"Angel?"

"He's alive."

"What happened."

"I'm… Not sure. I must have... went a little out of it...I think."

Natalie burst into the room and headed for the window with Bucky right behind her. He turned to look at Putin on the floor and Natalie scurried out the window as alarms blasted and a huge sheet of metal slammed down covering the window. Black descended blocking Bucky's exit. Lights flashed and the room filled with smoke and armed men with gas masks. The smoke over took him and he passed out. 

Security placed a gas mask over Putin's face and he aroused. He wiggled back into consciousness.

"What do you want me to do with him?"

"Take him out and shoot him." Putin said.

As Security drug Bucky past, Putin whispered, "no Rudolph Nureyev… and no you... Wait!" 

Putin grabbed a handful of Bucky hair and yanked his head up to see his face. Buck came around.

"Wait! I'll stay the execution long enough to have you." He whispered in Bucky's ear. 

"Just shoot me."

Bucky was immediately taken to the yard. He was barely conscious from the gas. He was giddy. Six shooters lined up with Buck against the wall. His costume was in shreds. He refused a blindfold. He refused to be tied. He spoke in Russian. He said he wanted to be shot. He said he deserved to die. He looked into the eyes of the shooters, spreads his arms with his palms up, turned his face to the night sky and yelled in a voice that rumbled through the night:

"For all the ones I've harmed… I give my life… for all the deaths I've caused... I gladly give my life. Take me now. Grant me peace from the pain and torture of my crimes. Shoot me 1000 times. I deserve a million. After I'm dead do horrible bad things to my body. Burn me. Cut me. Rape me. Defile me. Abuse me. I deserve it all. Made my spirit burn in hell for all eternity. Shoot SHOOT!"

They fired.

Two of the six soldiers cried. Two others hands shook when they shot their guns. No one could tell if Bucky was hit or not. They were told to fire a second round. Bucky was hit then and he fell against the wall but could be heard saying: "I wake in the morning with my children jumping on me like I'm a trampoline." And they fired again. But this time only three fired. Three dropped their guns. They were told to fire third time. Two more shooters put down their guns. 

One soldier said: "You can kill me. I'm never picking up a gun again."

The last soldier with a gun shook and cried. He saw Bucky still moved on the ground and he fired hitting him in the head. His head crashed against the back wall. He did not move. 

The last shooter threw his gun at his commander and yelled:  
"I quit." All six soldiers were arrested. There was a great scene as the shooters resisted arrest.

A high-ranking official entered the scene. A tall distinguished looking older man with a stretcher and two Security. He gave official papers to the Commander and ordered the Commander to turn the body over to the Science Department. There was much commotion as the shooters were subdued and more and more men were needed to arrest the shooters. The remains of James Buchanan Barnes were placed in the unmarked van and the official drove off with the body.

****

Natalia swore she felt the presence of Bucky behind her when she left the compound but he was not. She called Tony immediately and he activated extraction plan B and notified all Avengers, Dandalo and King T'Challa who had operatives in the area. Tony yelled:

"Do not go in alone. Follow Plan B."

She clicked off and went on her own to find Bucky. She knew she would be in deep trouble with Tony. Check. She knew she was risking her life. Check. She knew what Putin would do; she knew he would do it quickly. Check and check.

Putin wasted no time in announcing that Australian artist and dancer, Beau Bondi, 26, was caught spying and was executed.

****

The van pulled up to a warehouse in the western suburbs of Moscow. Attendants laid the stretcher and body on the table. The senior official dismissed the attendant and looked over the body. The clothing was in shreds from the bullets and the man ripped away the remaining clothes to expose the wounds. He took an odd looking sponge and dipped it in a glowing liquid and wiped at the bullet holes. After three swipes he saw the skin was unbroken underneath. He treated all the wounds in this manner, the chest and abdomen, neck, shoulders, arms and thighs. When he touched the head wound Buck's eyelids fluttered. With the third stroke of the sponge on the head wound all the plastics disintegrated revealing a slight broken quarter size red mark on the skin. The official worried over this mark on Buck's head. The concussion alone in this area could kill: even with the advanced silicone bullets he managed to get loaded in the rifles. 

The official stroked the area on his head. Buck's eyes opened and he focused on the man. His cybernetic hand reflexively grabbed the man's hand.

"Alyosha?" Buck whispered, astonishment in his voice.

"Yes – yes – it's me." He was an older version, yes, maybe 15 or 20 years older but nonetheless, Alyosha answered.

Barnes rubbed his chest. "How?"

"Some new silicone polymer we're experimenting with."

"You save me?"

"I saved you." Alyosha's smile looked strange for a man his age and rank.

Buck inspected Alyosha's uniform. He had moved up the ranks to the very top. Buck sat on the side of the table.

"Easy now soldier. The concussion alone can cause considerable damage and internal bleeding."

"I have some… abilities in that area." Barnes mumbled. He was wobbly and steadied himself by touching Alyosha's shoulder. He glanced at his face.

"Alyosha, how did you ever recognize me?"

"I recognized you the first night you danced."

"My God how?"

"I recognized your thighs, my man." Alyosha said with a smile. 

Buck opened his mouth wide to say something but decided it was better just to shut it. He smiled and rubbed his human hand over the silicone bullet wounds on his head.

Alyosha had given himself away with the thigh comment, on a feeling level, and he became serious. He became uncomfortable. He looked into Bucky's alive eyes. The smile gone from his face.

"I never loved again ... like I loved you."

"Alyosha… Alyosha." Buck shook him by his shoulder. "They'll discover what you've done. They... will...kill... you."

There was a moment as the two men inspected each others faces.

"I know it." Alyosha said casually.

"You have to come with me. I'll call for a ride." Buck took out his communicator from Dandalo's ship and made the emergency triple 911+++ call.

"You can't hide me. There is no place on earth they can not go. No matter what you do they will find me and your whole setup will be compromised. I want you people to win - I stay here."

First one foot then the other; Buck staggered to his feet. 

"That's not the right answer." 

He snapped the finger nail off his cybernetic finger and sprayed Alyosha in the face with a knock out drug. He dropped into Bucky's arms.

"Oh, I can hide you." Buck held on to Alyosha and struggled to control the bear sized man. He gave up and allowed him to fall onto the table. From the sound of it, large trucks were approaching the warehouse. An exchange of gunfire from Alyosha's men rang out and echoed through the metal warehouse walls. Barnes communicated again with Dandalo and laid on top of the Alyosha.

"Do you weigh 400 pounds?" Dandalo said into Buck's earbud.

"No. There's two of us."

"One at a time."

"Together please."

"You first."

Buck stuck the communicator in Alyosha's breast pocket and jump back from the table. Alyosha dematerialized.

The warehouse door burst open. Buck flipped the table over and crouched behind it weaponless, as bullets flew around him. But Buck did have a weapon. That damn Tony Stark insisted on outfitting the arm with a lame gun that Barnes felt he'd never used. He snapped off his cybernetic hand at the wrist and did some fancy transformer type manipulations and fired back. He did not move from the spot he was in, the spot where he had communicated with Dandalo, his last known coordinates. He held his ground. He cursed Tony again for taking that damn tracker out of his hip.

Outside, the gun fire ceased (not a good sign). The warehouse door fell off its hinges and crashed to the floor with a thud and a blowup of dust. Buck saw flashes of light. Red dots appeared on his torso and he flew into action. Bullets whizzing by him and all around the room until all magazines are exhausted. Moonlight streamed through the bullet holes in the walls of the warehouse and sparkled the dust particles alive. Barnes prepared himself for close quarters, hand to hand, combat. He had shot five soldiers and five more came at him. Again, he thanked Tony for the lame ass knife outfitted in the arm: came in handy. 

Efficiency was one of Buck finest qualities. He did not have the ability to knock someone out or shoot them in the arm or leg. If he was threatened he went for the head, the heart, the brain, the jugular - not instinct - but conditioning: they would not get up again to fight another day. The soldiers were not elite trained. The elite trained were on their way.

This kind of thing was not totally slick for Bucky. The shape and form and look of the Russian soldiers who faced him took on the appearance of the soldiers from the old days, the ones who lined up outside of the cell to see him. The young one - the one he killed; their faces marched before him. 'Looks like the only way this bloodbath of my life will ever end is when I'm dead and buried.' Buck resigned himself to the thought.

Two soldiers remained. Buck was having trouble with one who insisted on getting up again and again. His buddy had run out the front door. Buck recognize the distinct rumblings of helicopters in the far off distance: full of reinforcements, no doubt. 

Buck heard the ignition of the truck and the rev of the engine. The truck pulled away with the distinct sound of large tires rolling over gravel. But the truck stopped, turned, and raced to the warehouse full throttle. The truck burst through the door, bumped over the dead bodies and hit the table, sliding it into Buck and his opponent. The truck hit the wall and the driver flew through the front window of the truck from the force of the impact. 

The truck hit Barnes in the right hip and pushed him up against the wall. He yelled out in pain. His opponents head had smashed like a melon right by Bucky's leg. Blood and brain matter drained down his leg onto his dance shoe. The driver did not move and looked to Buck to have broken his neck. The trucks motor revved on putting pressure on Buck's leg and filled the room with carbon monoxide. Sparks flew all around. Buck pushed up against the truck. Pain shot up his spine and blackness rolled over over his vision. He folded onto the hood of the truck and gasped for air to keep from passing out. An expert in pain of all types; he had never felt such pain as this. He felt his whole pelvis had been crushed. He was solidly pinned between the grid of the truck and the wall. The table had flipped off somewhere. He got his breath and pushed at the truck. The truck did not move. He tore at the grid with his cybernetic fingers yelling out with pain at each movement. Each rip at the grid twisted his body in agony. Blinded by pain, he heard buzzing in his ears like entering a tunnel. He laid his head on the hood of the truck. His heart raced, pounded, like something about to burst. What else, he thought, what else did that crazy Tony Stark build into the arm? Bucky fought to focus. The beat of the helicopter blades a constant reminder of the time. 

Of course, the force field. He aimed the arm at the front of the truck and activated the force field. Nothing happened. He boosted the power. The arm would be useless after, but he had nothing to lose. Buck blasted the force field. The truck moved. Not much, but enough for Bucky to wiggle out with a blood curdling scream. He threw himself on the hood of the truck and panted like a dog, fighting for consciousness. 

He was out of time. Dandalo would be looking for him. He was not thinking straight but he had to try something. With his arms wrapped around him for support, holding his breath, he hobbled across the room dragging his leg. He righted the table and place it approximately where he thought it was when Alyosha dematerialized. He laid himself out on it.

'If you ever get lost – go back to the last place you were in communication', played over and over in his mind – a mantra from his youth. With every inhalation he cried out; with every exhale he moaned in pain. His arm was out of power but 'there may be enough power for this' and he injected himself with a painkiller. In a few minutes his moaning stopped. Darkness descended over him.

****

"Nat! Answer me!" Tony yelled on the conference call.

"I can't get a fix on him – I'm going in." Dandalo said.

"I'm on my way." Natalia answered.

Tony, Dandalo and Bruce arrived at the warehouse within seconds of each other. The team commenced the gruesome work. Bucky was not among the blood soaked odiferous pile of dead men. 

Natalia Romanova came on the scene. Tony pointed his finger at her.

"You and I are going to tangle over this –"

"Keep your focus on the problem at hand. Where is he?"

"I want to know that too. I didn't go all through this to lose him on his first mission."

"Call in all operatives." Dandalo commanded.

Tony placed a call to Steve and Wanda in Helsinki.

"Where is Cobar?" Tony multitasked to Nat.

"He was dismissed by Putin. He phoned in – he was escorted back to our hotel."

"He's gotta get out of there." Tony conference him into the call.

****

Cobar's phone chimed his emergency signal. Soundly asleep in his comfortable Moscow hotel room, the chime did wake him.

"Hello… Tony?" Cobar said raspy voice from a deep sleep. "Sorry… I must've fallen asleep - " 

All warm and relaxed, Cobar rubbed his eyes and yawned and tried to orientate himself to this hotel room. His eyes widened and he tensed up as he heard breathing behind him on the bed. He jumped and turned like a startled cat. His cell phone flew out of his hand. His eyes focused on Bucky, a bloody mess, asleep on his bed. Cobar scrambled through his sheets and blankets for his cell phone.

"Tony! Tony!" Cobar said fully awake. "Bucky's here – he's here in my room!"

"What the hell?" Questioned Tony.

"Is he okay? – Is he okay?" Nat yelled.

"Yeah – yes he's alive – there's blood all over – I think it's his blood he's - he's – he's asleep – he's snoring!"

"We're on our way."

****

Natalia, Tony, Bruce and Dandalo arrived in Cobar's room at his Moscow Hotel.

"Prepare for immediate extraction." Dandalo commanded.

Nat rushed to Buck. He was asleep on the bed half naked.

"Bruce – can he be moved?" Tony said.

"He looks terrible. He's hurt. He looks bad." Nat worried over him running her hands over his bloody body. "Bucky, baby."

Bruce was all over Barnes, examining him in record time.

"He's not asleep. He's sedated from pain killers. He injected himself with pain killers. Probable internal injuries and fractures. I don't have a clue what these red marks are all over his chest. He's been severely injured but I don't see any obvious neck or spine injuries."

"Can he be moved?" Tony said with increased insistence.

"He looks fairly stable... Do we have a choice?"

"Where to?" Nat said.

"The closest secure location... Helsinki?" Bruce said.

"The closest secure location is my ship – we can run a diagnostic." Dandalo said.

"Let's move." Tony said.

****

Nat, Tony and Cobar waited outside the sickbay of Dandalo's ship. They talked in a corner. Nat spoke to Steve on the phone when Dandalo and Bruce came out with the news. Nat held the phone so Steve could hear.

"He has no internal injuries - from the waist up - that is. His hip joint is fractured… It's not fractured… It's crushed – as is his knee joint. The femur is fractured in so many places it will never be right. Both joints need replacements. But the femur? I don't know what could be done with that. Internal organs, brain and heart, all intact. He's in a lot of pain. I'm keeping him sedated."

On the speakerphone Steve said: "I just got off the phone with T'Challa who offered any services we would need."

"Wow!" said Tony. "What do you say Bruce?"

"I'd say… I couldn't imagine better luck. That's miracle level luck." Something Bucky had in spades.

"Tell T'Challa we're on our way." Tony said.

"Do you want us to join you?" Steve said.

"No," said Nat. "The baby doesn't need this level of travel. I'm coming back." She looked hesitant at Tony.

"Bruce and I will go with him." Tony said.

"Thank you Tony. Cobar. Come with me. Dandalo, I'll take that Russian, Aloysha, off your hands."

"He is a high security risk." Dandalo warned.

"I'm on top of that. Can I see him, Bruce?" Nat asked.

"Yeah – go in – he probably won't wake up."

"Just a minute here. I'm just a little curious." Tony said. "How the hell did he get in Cobar's hotel room? Dandalo? Natalie? Cobar?"

"I did not teleport him." Dandalo said.

"I did nothing." Nat said.

"I am suspecting…" Cobar mumbled.

"The songline? The songline can teleport?" Tony was shocked.

"In mythology… And ... there are more modern legends."

"Well, in that case Cobar comes with us to Wakanda until we have a handle on this. When you sleep you sleep right by him." Tony pointed his finger in Cobar's face. "We can't have him teleporting around willy-nilly."

"I know this will sound crazy…" Steve pipped up from the conference call.

"Crazier than a dream teleportation?" Tony said.

"I think… I don't have any good proof… But I think he can do that himself. I think Bucky can teleport."

****

Natalie stroked Bucky's flushed cheeks and whispered in his ear.

"Angel… Angel… I know you can't hear me." 

Buck open his eyes. "Honey?" He grabbed her and kissed her. She kissed him and rubbed her cheeks on his cheeks.

"I heard you were dead. I heard it on the radio." 

"They almost got me." 

Their eyes darted over each other's faces.

She stroked his hair. 

The bullet mark on his head was screaming, red, swollen and looked like a huge ringworm.

"Baby baby – I love you." She sprinkled soft kisses around his face.

"I love you… Let me hold you." Buck fell into unconsciousness.

"My Angel?" Nat said and Buck woke again. "You're going to Wakanda ... to save your leg."

Buck looked around the room. "This isn't Wakanda?"

"No, this is Dandalo's ship."

"Oh yeah… Yeah… Sure, I see that now." He attempted to move but he cried out in pain.

"Please don't try to move. Your leg is crushed."

"It feels like it.…" he said and blacked out again.

"Buck... Buck..." she said and his eyes flashed open.

"Listen to me Angel... Tony, Banner and Cobar are going with you to Wakanda." She looked deep into his eyes. "I have to go back to the baby. She's too young for space travel."

"Yes, you go… You know how things are in Wakanda… It won't take long there."

"No, my Angel. It won't take long at all."

Buck drifted in and out of consciousness.

"I made it out but others weren't so lucky."

"Please don't think of that. Not now."

"It was so easy to kill again." Buck stared up at the ceiling.

"I can't stand to see you suffer like this. It was you or them."

"Was it?"

They were boys to Bucky. Boys with a not enough training to take on someone or something like him. But then again… who was.

****

Solaris had drawbacks. Even given the large windows on two sides, Solaris was underground. It gave a confined feel. Super soldiers and superheroes were isolated enough from society, Solaris added another layer. The top-secret nature of the place also added to the locked away feel.

Natalie entered the therapeutic room. She took a deep breath and took in the familiar smell and the feel of the room. The inlet waters made a shimmering on the walls and ceiling. She carried Nova directly out the balcony door and took in the sight of the sea and felt the warm sun on her skin. She settled into a deck chair and gave Nova a drink. A flock of sea birds descended in circles with wings spread. They were headed to the estuary for lunch. She relaxed. She was home. She heard a rustling in the bedroom. Nova pulled the bottle out of her mouth with a pop and pointed at the door.

"Da Da?"

It did sound like Bucky.

"Hey, the door was open."

"Steve! We're out here."

Steve came into view. Nova teared up and hid her face on her mother's chest.

"What did I do?"

"Nothing… You're just not HIM."

Natalie struggled to re-feed Nova battling her resistance.

"I have a favor…" she said.

"Anything."

"Will you trade places with Tony?"

"What? Why?"

"I know Buck spent a lot of time in Wakanda. I know his relationship with Tony has improved… But still. Bruce is great… But there's still some trust issues and then there's this bizarre Cobar thing. I feel uneasy with Bucky getting this extensive repair without one of us being with him. The three of us have not been separated in forever."

"Say no more… I feel the same way. I hadn't formulated it in my mind."

"Thanks."

"It's not a favor. I want to go."

"Tony probably can't wait to get back here."

"Agreed." Steve took out his phone. 

"When's the big ILLUMINE conference?" Nat asked.

"10 days. Shouldn't interfere at all. Trine's sabbatical was approved for one year."

"Really? That's fantastic! She'll be here for the whole year?"

"Yes."

"And Dandalo?"

"No approval yet. Dandalo will come and go ad hock - Tony? Hey… Let's trade places… Immediately… Because Natalie thinks it's a good idea… So do I… You should be here… Nat or I should be with Bucky… Bring your Lear? okay.. sure... as soon as it gets gassed up and I...I take a shower… See you soon." Steve clicked off and tucked his phone into his pocket.

"So, what are you gonna do with the famous Alyosha?"

"Ha – Wanda and I will debrief him and interrogate him. He has defected. I foresee no problem with him."

"Where is he now?"

"He's in maximum-security detention. The robots have stripped him and he's being scanned. Who knows what those damn Ruskies have done to the guy or what's been implanted. It'll take a few hours on his brain alone."

"What do you see as his final disposition?"

"That'll be a team decision. I see only one realistic choice. He's gonna have to take the time machine. As harsh as it is. Unless he wants to live at Solaris. He's right, outside Solaris he's a dead man and that would be a shame."

Steve rubbed Nova's head and she looked at him sweetly.

"It feels weird leaving you three girls alone here."

"Oh brother… You sound like you've stepped out of a 1940s novel. Take a suit and you'll be there in six seconds."

"Naw, Tony wants the LearJet."

Steve headed out the door, turned back, and stared at the sun streaming in the balcony door. The silhouette of Natalie and Nova glowed in the sunlight like a Madonna. There is no way. No way in hell. Steve took out his phone.

****

Natalie settled Nova for her nap and joined Wanda at the observation platform watching Alyosha's tests.

"So far he's clean." Wanda looked eager for action.

"I would've said that was impossible." Nat said.

Natalie placed her hands on her hips. They heard a noise behind them and turned.

"Clint?"

"Hello all." 

Nat ran to his arms. "What are you doing here?"

"Steve called and said you needed a centry or something."

Natalie rolled her eyes at Wanda and Wanda roller her eyes at Natalie.

"Well…"

A shadow crossed the hall. Falcon walked into the light.

"You too?"

"Here to help. Cap said you needed staffed up...said you needed someone to boss around." Sam Wilson said.

****

Steve Rogers walked up to another observation platform 7,900 miles from Solaris. Tony Stark and Bruce Banner stood staring at Bucky and Cobar asleep in the same bed. Cobar snuggled up next to Bucky.

"What's this?" Cap laughed.

"Cobar was sleeping in the chair but Barnes kept getting up and sleepwalking, so this is the solution."

Steve laughed. Bruce laughed. Tony laughed.

"You're here just in time. The Wakandan team will take him at any minute."

"Is he sedated?" Steve said.

"Definitely."

"He won't wake?"

"Have at it." Bruce shrugged.

The boys walked quiet into the room where Buck and Cobar slept. Steve and Tony stopped at the foot of the bed. Bruce advanced to the bedside.

"Seems a shame to wake them… But I want him to know I'm here." Steve glanced at Tony.

"They'll be in here to get it any minute anyway."

Bruce glanced at Tony and removed the blanket of Bucky and Cobar to the waist. Cobar slept on Bucky's human shoulder with his arms around Bucky's waste. His warm brown skin glowed against Bucky's marshmallow whiteness. Buck's red lips were parted and his face was flushed. His dark heavy lashes made shadows on his cheek bones. He was deep in a drugged sleep. Steve let out a short gasp at the site that occupied each man's attention.

"What? Are you envious?" Tony whispered.

"Are you?" Steve whispered back.

"I am." Bruce said.

Tony gave Steve a go ahead nod and Steve walk to the opposite side of the bed, leaned in, and touched Bucky's shoulder. He was hot. He shook him.

"Buck. Buck."

A team of dead serious Wakandans approached lead by Shuri. Steve went out the door to meet them.

"Well, look who's here. Steve Rogers. How nice to see you again." Shuri said.

"Thank you for this. How are things going with him?"

"Okay. But a lot to do. Run over by a truck? Your friend manages to…"

"Yeah. I know. He's a lot of trouble." They laughed and hugged.

The team entered the room and removed the blanket. Cobar woke and jumped out of the bed. Buck's leg looked like there was no bone in it at all. The leg was swollen twice size - was red with taunt skin.

"Go ahead. Wake him."

Steve glanced at Bucky's broken body and touched his shoulder.

"Buck. Buck." Steve whispered again.

Buck opened his eyes and focused on Steve.

"Did you bring my baby?" Buck mumbled, shut his eyes and snored. 

"Buck. Buck."

"Where are we Steve?"

"Wakanda. For repairs on your leg." Steve whispered.

"You're here? You're staying?"

"Yes. Yes. I'll be with you through the whole thing."

"Where is Natalie?" Buck said in a loud voice.

"She's with Nova at Solaris. We staffed the place up with Wanda, Clint and Sam. Tony is on his way back."

"Alyosha?"

"He's being processed."

"I wanna see him. I have ta see 'im."

"Sure. No problem. I'll tell them."

"Ouch." Buck tried to get up.

"Don't try to move. They're taking you now."

"I have no idea how long this will take." Shuri said.

"I'll be here." Steve handed Tony the keys to the Learjet.

"Thank you. I'm leaving now." Tony fought for attention but didn't get any. Everyone looked at Bucky's damaged leg. 

"Good luck." Tony said but no one was listening, and he was out the door.

****

Buck was given a Vibranium right hip joint, femur and right knee joint. To reinforce the whole deal and help protect the soft tissue Vibranium implants were done under the hypodermis making Buck's right leg one tough son of a bitch. Shuri felt he was well balanced with his cybernetic left arm, Vibranium jaw and enhanced right leg. Shuri placed no restriction on Bucky's movements. He was virtually pain-free. All that was left was soft tissue swelling and soreness which would subside in a few days of Wakandan treatments, physical therapy, rest and a good diet. Cobar hung with Steve and Bucky during the day and snuggled with Bucky in bed each night. Buck slept without incident. He didn't think it was possible to miss anyone as much as he missed Natalie and Nova. Time flew.

****

Bruce and Cobar, Steve and Bucky boarded the Wakandan transport and headed back to Solaris by way of Australia. Bruce offered Cobar BARF treatments to remove his songline dreams. Cobar considered this but it was decided to employee an experiment first. Cobar would return to Australia and see if the vast distance between Bucky and Cobar would lessen the effect on Bucky. If that did not work Buck want BARF to remove the songline from HIS dreams. The songline was part of Cobar's heritage and Bucky wanted him to keep it if possible.

On the day Steve, Bruce and Bucky returned to Solaris the sun shone brighter than it had all week. Every member of the Solaris crew were present to greet them: Tony, Wanda, Falcon, Hawkeye, Natalie and Nova.

With Steve on his left and Bruce on his right, Buck smiled and limped. He held Natalie a long time. He buried his face in her hair by her neck. 

Steve heard him whisper, "I don't know what the future will hold for us but I can't be separated from you two again… Ever." Bucky came up for air. 

Nova looked at him. Big tears filled her eyes and she hid her face on her mother's chest.

"My baby… Don't you know your Papa?" Bucky said but he did not reach for her or try to grab her. Nova glanced at him with her whole hand stuffed into her mouth. Bucky eyes wetted.

"Awe… Come on… He's home." Natalie said. 

Nova did not look at her father again. Instead, she leaned away from her mother and detached her self from her. The back of her head touched Buck's chest. He held out his hands for her and she came into his arms. Nova cozied in her usual spot on Bucky's chest. Bucky held his girls and closed his eyes.

"We can do a formal debriefing later." Steve said.

Buck looked at him. "I don't know how much I trust my memory… It's not the best."

"I'll download your monitor. That'll fill in the blanks. I have an upgrade for you." Tony said.

"Tony? Another upgrade? Come on… He's been through constant medical procedures." Cap said.

"This isn't military." Tony said to Cap and then to Bucky. "You'll like this one."

Buck motioned affirmative to Tony. He would go along with anything Tony wanted. 

"It's okay, Steve. I figured I'd need to have a thorough exam after all the arms been through."

"Take your time… You have 15 minutes." Tony joked but everyone knew he was serious.

The family unit walked down the hall towards the therapeutic room.

"Angel, you're limping." Natalie sounded worried.

"It's not painful – just stuff."

"In a week it won't be. In a month you won't be able to tell the difference. In three months the scar will be gone." Bruce explained.

The team left the family unit at the door. Tony walked ahead.

"I'll be up in a couple of hours." Buck called to him.

"It'll be best just to get it over." Bruce suggested.

Tony yelled down the hall. "I mean it... You'll love the upgrade… Guaranteed."

"Okay, one hour… I have to shower."

Buck stripped. Natalie gasped at the look of the leg. The discoloration was shocking enough. He had a two inch wide scar five inches above his hip, to below his knee, in various stages of scab formation. The skin was rippled with some parts bulging and others indenting.

"It doesn't hurt much, really."

He showered and Natalie laid the sleeping baby down for her nap. Bucky dressed in a long sleeve ultra soft blue shirt with darker blue slacks. He sat in his chair and stretched his leg out in front of him. He wraped his metal arm around his abdomen and held it with his human hand. He tapped his index finger on the metal and glanced from left to right.

"Bruce is right… I should go get it over."

Natalie grabbed his tapping finger and he glanced up at her.

"Not just yet." She smiled and pulled him by his finger to the bed. He sat on the edge of the bed and she straddled over him and pushed him flat onto the bed. He smiled and spread his arm in a submissive posture. She ran her hands up his shirt feeling his rippled muscles. He giggled. She examined his scar, and kissed tenderly, down his side.

"Does this hurt?" Natalie pressed her lips like butterflies over his scar.

"No. Keep going."

She pulled off his shirt. She kissed his lips like velvet. Her love rained down on him like sugar.

"So sweet… I love you… I love you… I love you… I love you…" He buried his face into her chest.

"How long has she been sleeping lately for her naps?"

"About an hour… But I don't need that long." She slid down his chest where he was waiting for her.

****

As Bucky strolled down the hall he noticed bright lights blazing from the lab/medical area. There was much more noise than usual. He instinctively moved to the wall and proceeded with caution. Curiosity hurried him a long. He rounded the corner and stopped abruptly at the doorway. Four technicians, he did not know, Tony and Banner milled around the room. They were all dressed in high-tech surgical garb, he had never seen before and he had seen plenty of medical equipment. Bucky scanned the room. Many pieces of equipment looked unfamiliar to him. An elaborate tall surgical table stood in the middle of the room. Bucky visibly tensed.

"What's all this?"

"Oh, here he is!" Tony glanced in the direction of Bucky.

"It's okay." Banner said. "This is a sterile all systems upgrade."

"Come on." Tony talked fast. "Jump up on the table and let's get going." He patted the table top with his hand and looked like a boy with the new train.

The technicians and Banner turned on machines and organized equipment. They talked to each other casually.

"This isn't just my arm, is it? You're going into my brain, aren't you?" Buck looked up at the ceiling.

"Come on Buck… None of that… Up you go." Bruce said as he breezed by. 

Tony took Buck by the arm and led him to the table. "Take your time… Do you have 30 seconds."

Bucky moved by Tony's command but continued to stare at the ceiling. He bit down hard on his bottom lip.

"Shit. He hasn't done that in a while."

"We could sedate him."

"No, I need to check responses throughout."

"We could gas him."

Buck snapped out of it. "I'm standing right here in front of you and you're talking about me like I'm not here."

"You weren't buddy."

"Oh… No…"

"Glad you decided to join us." Tony drifted by.

"I blanked out? I did that again? Okay, go ahead and gas me." Buck jumped on the gurney.

"Off with the shirt." Tony said.

Buck took off his shirt and held it on his lap. He looked up at the bright surgical lights on the ceiling. He flashed an image of another time, another table. What do I see? He asked himself. The light. The clock on the wall. What do I hear? The clang of equipment and the buzz of machine activity filled the room. What can I feel? He scrunched his shirt in his hands. He closed in on himself. He wrapped his arms around his body and put one foot on top of the other.

"Relax." Tony said. "I'm gonna knock your socks off."

Buck laid on the table and Banner appeared over him with the gas mask.

"I'm going to give you some gas. As soon as the flow is discontinued you will be fully awake and alert. Let's practice."

Banner place the mask over Bucky's nose and mouth.

"Note the time Buck."

Bucky's eyes flashed to the clock on the wall.

"Breathe deep."

Buck took two deep breaths. His arms fell to the sides. His hips opened up and his feet fell apart from each other. His eyelids fluttered then shut.

"Bucky? Bucky?" Banner called. "Look at the clock."

Five minutes had passed.

Banner looked Buck in the eye.

"See how this works. Are we good?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Let's do it."

"We are a go." Bruce called out to the team.

"Okay. Start the clock."

Buck noted the time. The mask decended over his face. 

****

The next thing he was aware of he was sitting on the side of the gurney. He glanced at the clock; ten hours had passed. He looked at his feet. The room sounded hollow.

"Turn your palm up." Tony vioce sounded like an echo.

Buck turned the palm of his cybernetic hand upward and starred at it.

"Now close your eyes... Identify what I just put in your hand."

"What?"

"Don't look now. Describe it."

"Weight .01 ounces - 3 centimeters by 2 centimeters. Irregular edges. More dense in the middle. It's white." Buck's muscles contracted in his chest and he sat up perfectly straight. "It's a cotton ball." Buck's eyes flashed open. He looked in his hand and then at Tony.

"How the hell did you do that?"

"Told you I'd knock your socks off. Now straighten your hand palm down and shut your eyes… Describe what you feel."

"Jesus Christ Tony –" Something ran over Bucky's fingertips. "Oh… Paper… Sandpaper… 320 grit silicon carbide grade. Tony?"

"Right! Close um up. Close um up... Now what's this?"

"You dipped my hand and a bowl of water 13°C - distilled – only 7 parts per million hard particles...but I can feel it!" Buck's eyes flashed open and he grabbed Tony's arm. "Hazmat grade surgical gown – cashmere sweater underneath in red or pink. Tony what have you done?"

Tony laughed, took off his gown to reveal a red sweater. 

Buck's hand dropped to his knees. He felt the fabric of his slacks. He ran his hand up his leg and squeezed his fingers into his muscle, overwhelmed with data. His shirt laid in his lap. He ran the soft fabric through his fingers. So soft. He felt his chest, his face and he ran his fingers tips over his lips.

"Holy shit."

"Now don't get all verklempt on me. This is serious business. Look at me." 

Buck made eye contact with Tony and held it. "As the neural networks calibrate with each other your responses will become more… sensitive."

"More sensitive than this?" Buck twisted his hair between his fingers.

"Yeah. Your senses may become overly acute. In fact - I'm countin' on it. When that happens… Don't look away… When that happens we'll calibrate you down – no problem. Other than that - go - have fun with it. Enjoy it. In a week it'll feel completely normal. Like second nature."

Buck marched nonstop to his therapeutic room sliding his cyborg fingers along the wall. He said a brief hello to Nat on the balcony. He locked himself in the bathroom and leaned over the sink and stared at himself in the mirror. He gazed at his metal hand. He hyperventilated. He felt sick. He sat by the toilet holding on and felt the cold porcelain. He took slow deep breaths. His head cleared. He turned on the water in the sink. His metal fingers is danced in the water feeling the stream. He splashed water on his face and followed the streaks of water with his fingertips. It took some getting used to. He braced himself with his hand on the countertop. He felt the cold marble and guessed its molecular weight. He had an overwhelming urge to hold Nova: to hold her with his cybernetic arm. 

****

On the balcony it took the profoundly resourceful Natalia Romanova a minute of astute observation to realize Bucky could feel with his metal fingers. She handed him their baby. He touch the baby with new emotion. He felt her heart beat and her body heat in a new way. He let her touch his metal arm. He touched Natalie; all that he desired. He was unable to speak. He touched everything on the balcony: plants, flowers, glass, the wind. He felt the textures and how the wind blew around his arm. He thought of surfing and the sun. He touched the fish tank and all the fabrics and surfaces in the therapeutic room. But nothing was more fascinating than his own body. He stayed in the shower one hour feeling the hypnotic warm water wash over him. He rubbed his metal hand over his thigh, his groin, his abdomen and chest. In a trance, he felt the blood engorge his penis. He felt the pulse of it. The soft skin of it's head felt like the softness of his lips. He spent a long time getting to know his own body before he moved on to Natalie's. He spent so much time on her clitoris she begged him to give her a rest.

****

A week later Natalie hunted down Tony.

"I've got to talk to you." Nat glanced up and down the hall at the cameras. "It's private." They moved into a unmonitored area.

"What's up?"

"It's about Bucky… He's had an erection for five days."

"What!" Tony laughed out loud.

"It's not funny anymore. I'm exhausted. I didn't think it was possible for someone to ejaculate that many times in one day." Nat whispered even in the secure location. "He's so into the sensation from that hand you can't get through to him."

Tony laughed again and louder.

"Tony… Steve reported to me he was doing some close quarters work with Bucky and Bucky was humping Steve's leg!"

"I'd like to see that." Tony was on the verge of hysterics.

"Be serious for one second. Come on. He's hypersexual."

"He's overstimulated. I gave him specific instructions to come to me when or if this happened."

"He'd never tell you. He'd never tell you he's having too much erection. He'd never tell you to turn the damn thing down. He has a pleasure deficit, you know." 

"Yeah, well. Okay let's take a look at 'em. Where is he?"

"On the beach... Who knows what he could be doing out there."

Tony and Natalie watched Bucky from the beach level door. Buck laid on the sand in the sun. He had on a bikini speedo and sunglasses and nothing more. Obvious, even to the birds a mile away, was his massive erection.

"Jesus..." Tony exclaimed.

Buck ran his metal arm and hand over the warm sand – back and forth and back and forth. He ran his hand over his thigh and lingered awhile over his abdomen before traveling up his chest feeling and touching up his neck to his face. He ran the tips of his metal fingers over his lips repeatedly and open his mouth and touched his tongue, stroking his tongue.

"Okay I've seen enough. He has a routine cyber check in the morning." Tony mumbled. "I don't have the heart to tell him but I could nudge him down a notch. I'd hoped he smooth out on his own."

Tony turned back to Solaris. "Coming?"

"I'm not gonna leave him like that."

"What? On the beach?"

"Won't be the first time."

****

The next morning Buck got turned down. Tony invited him to stay for the Putin mission debriefing.

"I've gathered all available data on the Putin caper, cross reference with your monitor data… You're the last to testify." Tony took of his glasses and looked at Bucky.

"It's just us?" Buck's eyes darted around the room.

"I've talk to everyone individually. It seems things got personal?"

"Personal?"

"That some decisions were made based on emotion."

"For instance?"

Tony leaned in to looked directly into Bucky's eyes. "Your decision… In Putin's apartment… To strong arm Natalie off the scene."

"I didn't touch her… but I would have."

"Give me an account of your line of thinking." Tony sounded nonjudgmental. Buck relaxed.

"Yeah… Yeah… Sure ... I did have an emotional reaction - "

Tony interrupted. "Let's stop right here. What emotion?"

"Um… " Buck rolled his eyes thinking. "Big."

"Big? A big emotion? Were are you jealous?"

"No, I wasn't jealous." Bucky defended himself. "It was something else... He just wasn't going to touch her...That's all."

"Protective then."

"Yeah… Something like that. I didn't count on him being such a slimeball. I didn't know at the time I was feeling some strong emotions but that's not why I told her to leave."

"You know she was the mission commander?"

"I do, but when Putin sent Cobar out, Plan A was trashed. She was the best person to do the recon and I would deal with Putin."

"You were going to sacrifice yourself to Putin?"

"Oh no. He wasn't going to have me either."

"Then what was your plan?"

"Well… I was gonna kill him."

"Was that really your first response? Killing Putin was nowhere in the mission statement."

"Well… I…"

"Do you have a logical point of thinking to back up your decision?"

"Besides he's a megalomaniac? Besides he's evil incarnate? Besides he deserves it?"

"Yes Bucky something besides all that."

"If that's the case then… No… I don't."

Tony shook his head. "These are the problems that crop up when you send lovers into the field together."

"It turned out okay."

"No it did not… An agent was killed."

"What?"

"You! If not for miraculous intervention you'd be dead."

"Don't all agents take chances to protect their team? Aren't we all emotionally involved with each other? How can we not be… We're humans in long-term relationships."

"Would you have done the same thing on this mission if Steve were your partner?"

Bucky thought that over a long time. "Wow… Tony, you're right. I would not. I wouldn't have done it and Steve wouldn't have let me. I see what you're getting at. What's gonna happen now? Are you going to ban us working together?"

"That would be my last choice. You two, as a team, are unstoppable. No… There will be no ban until I've exhausted all other avenues. You say you weren't jealous of Putin but there were reports about Cobar." Tony said this as a question.

"Yeah… You're right I was jealous of Cobar. I couldn't understand it. I thought at first maybe I was having some reaction to just seeing her give birth. Maybe I was picturing her with Nova. I thought maybe it was just something I was going through. I've not been like that before. All the time we were in '63... nothing like that."

"And when you knew her before… When she was a - "

"A child? I'll have to think about that. Yes… Yes… I think I was. It was… um...?"

"Something big?"

Buck smiled. "Yeah... yeah... something big."

"Something more than just a phase you were going through?"

"Maybe… Could be… Probably…"

"Barnes, you've developed a case of jealousy."

Buck hung his head in shame.

"Okay – let's deal with it out in the open." Tony forced Bucky to look at him. "You talk with Banner. You talk with Natalie. You talk with Steve. You talk with Trine? She should be here today. Isn't that right?" Tony shuffled some papers.

"Yes. Today."

"You take a few days – three days – and bring me a formal action plan with the goal of preserving the elite combat force of Romanova/Barnes. Okay?"

"Right chief."

"And Barnes… Just a reminder… Killing someone should never be your first option. Killing someone should always be a last resort. Got it?"

"I got it."

****

The dispensation meeting regarding Alyosha was set for that very afternoon. Tony's thorough investigation and probe into the life of Alyosha checked out. Alyosha was clean and was given formal political asylum as a defector by Tony Stark who's ego was so massive he considered himself a sovereign nation and function and such. 

Alyosha was considered by all to be a hero. He was an older man, ready to collect his military pension, but he looked fit and handsome in his under armour, never again to wear his uniform. Counting a cadet academy, he had been in the military since age 11. He shaved all the hair off his face. He let the silver and strawberry blonde hair on his head grow for the first time in his life. His hair curled and was definitely red; not a good idea for a gay man in the military wishing to not attract attention and pass for strait. He had no rough edges to his face. There was no tension in his face or anywhere in his body: the first time in 30 years. His glasses were gone. Banner easily corrected his vision as a routine part of his physical. His eyes were powder blue, without a fleck of any other color, soft and kind. He looked a complete transformation from the bald, bearded, sullen military man of a few weeks ago. The change was close to a disguise – a cover; he would never be recognized. These were interesting facts but no one wanted to take any chances with his safety.

Tony, Banner, Cap, Bucky, Natalie and the alien protectorate, Alyosha met in the cinema room. Bucky and Banner made drinks at the bar. Alyosha was easy, likable and appreciative of everything done for him. Hell, he was happy, lucky to be alive and he knew it. He had been out of top security area 24 hours and he felt free as a bird. Tony banged his drink on the bar three times.

"Officially… Call this meeting together."

Everyone shut up and gathered around Tony's seat at the bar. Alyosha sat in front of Tony. Bucky, Steve and Natalie stood by them and Banner stay behind the bar and leaned in.

Tony spoke to Alyosha. "First off I want to thank you for all you sacrificed to help one of my operatives. I think everyone here knows if not for your intervention Barnes would be dead and buried. You are here. You have political asylum. What do you want to do?" All members looked shocked at Tony. He continued:  
"Acceptable options are limited. Got any ideas?"

Alyosha's English was good. Since he first met 'the Soldier' all those years ago, he practiced English each evening with tapes and later computers just to hear the native language, just to be reminded of his one true love, James Barnes. 

"I did speak with Cobar," Alyosha said, "and he invited me to Australia. He invited me to the outback where there resides two people per acre. This could be the best."

"Discussion?"

"Quality of life?" Steve said. 

"It's probably too isolated for health and well-being," Banner said.

"We'd have to provide security," Nat added.

"He could stay here," Bucky said.

"Indefinitely?" Cap asked.

"Sure. Why not? We are." 

"Interesting… Allow me to offer another alternative. Natalie is correct. No place on earth will be 100% safe. Alyosha, you do know that." Tony said.

"I do." Alyosha laughed. "But I do not see any moon landings scheduled by your country."

"Yeah. Good point. But what if... let's just say… What if you could travel in time?"

Alyosha let out a big Russian laugh.

"Let's just say – like a game – what would you pick?" Tony did not laugh.

"If I could travel in time where would I go and what would I do?" Aloysha laughed and slapped his bear sized hands on his hefty thighs. "I love you Americans playing games during formal meeting. Everything is joke, right?"

Bucky, Nat and Steve laughed.

"Then play..." Tony said.

"I will think." Alyosha was relaxed and playful. He scanned around the room like some object in the room would spark an answer. He looked out dreamily into the corner of the room and then he said playfully. "I go to the future. I sent back notices to you of how things are in the future to help you… To help you help… For the good."

Laughter and smiles and games ceased. All eyes looked to Tony. If this kind of thing can be seen, Tony's mind moved a million miles an hour. He slapped his hands down hard on the bar.

"That's exactly where you're going. You're hired!"

Alyosha, not understanding the subtleties of American culture thought the game was still being played.

"As what?" he asked.

"A futurist spy… No… No… Not a spy… Futurist Eye. Futurist Eye number one."

Bucky put his human hand on Alyosha's back.

"He's not joking. You know he has a Time Machine."

"We thought that was propaganda."

"No… It works… The three of us went back in time for a year and a month."

That sobered Alyosha up. He looked to Natalia Romanova.

"You have to believe him. He can do what he says." Natalie said in English and repeated the whole conversation to him in Russian.

"You people make me crazy. Of course I want to go. Of course I want to do the job."

Tony banged his drink on the bar three more times. 

"Meeting adjourned. Let's celebrate."

"Congratulations!" Banner said.

"Welcome to the team. This is a brilliant idea." Nat said.

"Good for you Alyosha. I'm sure you'll be a valuable team member." Steve said.

Everyone talked at once. 

"You'll have to have some special equipment." Tony was in his element. "Maybe something like that tricorder from Star Trek. If you were going." Tony said to Bucky. "Everything you need is in your arm... That's a great idea." Tony started sketching on a napkin.

"Wait a minute. You're not going to…" Bruce said

"No. And adapter… Something to go over the arm."

"I need to treat him for some minor health issues. He need some dental work…" Banner drifted off and entered items on his iPad.

Ideas crazy and sane flew around the cinema room for hours. 

Needing a computer, Tony wandered off; he would not sleep for three days. 

Bruce, tired of Alyosha beating him, challenged Steve to a chess game. 

Alyosha, Bucky and Nat relaxed on the sofa.

"You're going away," Bucky said.

"Yes. On an adventure." Alyosha smiled big.

"I want to spend time with you."

"We are together."

"I want to be with you Alyosha," Buck said.

Natalia's eyes widened and she thought of Bucky's 'overstimulation'. 

Alyosha looked at her.

"Don't look at me. I don't tell Bucky no." She laughed. "But I do have to warn you about his latest arm upgrade."

Alyosha looked questioningly at Bucky's cybernetic arm. Nat moved to the chess table and leaned her head to ear level and whispered to Bruce and Steve:

"Let's go to the kitchen and make some food. Bucky wants to 'be with' Alyosha."

"You mean 'be with' be with?" Cap asked.

"Yes. I'm taking it that's what he means to do." Nat said.

Steve's eyes snapped onto Bruce.

"Does he have… Diseases?"

"Neither man has any diseases."

Steve, Bruce and Natalie left the cinema room and shut the door with a loud snap.

****

Bucky and Alyosha sat cockeyed on the sofa and made eye contact. Buck with more confidence or less passion held the gaze. Alyosha squirmed and looked to the left and look to the right and looked at his hands.

"I wanted to have some time with you… To thank you properly." Buck said.

"No need to thank me for saving your life... it was my pleasure."

"No… I mean yes… I thank you for that… But… I mean… Back then." And Buck was 'back then' for a second.

Alyosha shut his eyes and spoke to his hands in his lap.

"I took advantage of your situation. I blame my youth. I blame my desires. I blame the isolation up there. Do you remember what it was like?" Alyosha glanced at Buck's face.

"I do."

"Every day of my life I have felt guilt for it. I sincerely apologize."

"I appreciate your candor but that's not how I saw things."

"You were a prisoner of war… I took full advantage of my power over you." Alyosha's eyes pierced in to Bucky's.

"I made an informed decision -"

"The decision of a man change the wall." Alyosha raised his voice.

This time Bucky looked away. A flash memory of that exact scenario paraded before him. He responded to it and shook his head:

"Jesus," he said.

"But now you have power over me," Alyosha said.

"You can walk out the front door anytime. We're not holding you any longer."

"I thought that was true. It is nice to hear."

"I don't want you to leave. I don't want it to be the way it was either. I want something new."

"What do you want?"

"I want to thank you but words aren't the right way."

"I'm happy just to know you're alive – you know- I heard you were killed three times over the years."

"No kidding."

"When I saw you at the Bolshoi I…" Alyosha caught his breath. "I wanted to…make up to you… I mean, what I did to you."

"I see we see the situation very differently. You don't know what a dark place I was in."

"I do know! I helped put you there!" 

Buck ignored him and went on as if he'd never spoke. "When you first came to my cell, like you did. I was close to madness. Eternal raving madness." Buck experienced another flash, this time, a feeling.

"Are you okay?"

Buck considered he was not okay. This whole endeavor might be miss judgment but he was determined to make something new out of this mess.

"I'm fine. Contact with you brought me up from that madness. What they did to my body - to my mind... you cared for me, I know you did ... by what you did ... Alyosha, you touched me like caring for your own child or something - I didn't think it was possible to be touched like that. From then on I was conscious there was something more. Now, I want to do something for you that's equal to that in someway."

They looked at each other again for a long time. Alyosha did not look away but his face flushed. He became uncomfortable and scooted in his seat. He spoke softly, "You do not have to do anything. I'm happy to know your real name. James. James."

Buck moved to the edge of the sofa and sat with his foot under his thigh. His mechanical hand rested on the back of the sofa. With this one change of position he managed to get significantly closer to Alyosha. His name filled the air, James.

"No one calls me by that name. I'd like it if you did." Buck inched closer. His hand touched Alyosha's collar and his knee touched his thigh.

"You think you are my abuser?" Buck said.

"I know I am."

"Well. You can see I'm fine now."

"I can see that you are not fine now."

"You can see that?"

"Yes."

Buck discovered that he was trembling. Another scene flashed in his mind… Of how he felt the first time Alyosha came into his cell.  
He looked at Alyosha with moist eyes. His cybernetic hand brushed the back of his head. Not even Alyosha could tell, it was like air: skin temperature, hair follicle analysis, marched into his brain. He looked at Alyosha's clear skin and freckled face and chest. Bucky's head dropped onto that chest barely touching. He shut his eyes and breathed deep.

"I want to touch you." Buck said.

Alyosha slid his hands up Bucky's neck and rested them on his cheeks. He ran his hands through his hair and pressed Bucky's face to him and kissed his forehead, his cheeks, his lips and all over his face. He held him and breathed his breath on him.

"Oh God. Oh God," he said.

Alyosha held Bucky tight: so tight he could not move. 

Bucky relaxed under the pressure of the powerful man's grip. 

Alyosha grabbed a handful of Bucky's hair and made Bucky look at him.

"I don't think sex between us is a good idea right now."

Buck held Alyosha by his wrists, "I don't want sex… It's not sex… It's not words… It's something else I want to get through to you." 

"I am not going to be able to control myself."

"You did before." 

Buck broke free and buried his head in Alyosha's neck and rubbed his lips over the skin there and took a good smell of him. Buck slipped off his shirt and straddled over Alyosha letting him feel Buck's bare skin.

Not having a good idea what he was dealing with, Alyosha took full advantage of the situation and kissed Bucky around his chest and slid one hand up the back to his neck and his other hand slid down his waist band to Buck's crack.

"That was before," Alyosha said.

Before, before. The smell of him. The feel of Alyosha, his size and how he manipulated and controlled Buck's body. Bucky flashed again to his cell. To the sound of his cell. The feel of the cell. He backed up from Alyosha.

Bucky looked him in the eye at close range. "I think I can read your mind." He bent closer and closer to him and rubbed his lips over Alyosha's lips. "Just let me," he whispered. "Let me do what I have to do."

Alyosha moved to the edge of the sofa, ached his back and further spread Buck's legs with his thighs. He pressed his pelvis to Bucky's rhythmically and forcefully manipulated his anus with his massive hand. Alyosha was smooth; Aloysha was a professional.

Buck took a deep gasp of air, arched his back and looked up at the ceiling. He pressed Alyosha's face to his chest. Suddenly, it was THE ceiling – the ceiling of his cell. He caught Aloysha's wrist in his mouth and he bit down. 

"Gentle… Gentle." Aloysha said. 

Bucky moved his hips up against Alyosha's groin. His cybernetic hand slid away from Alyosha's chest and moved up his own chest to his own neck and his fingers clamped over his carotid arteries and he squeezed.

Aloysha slid his hand out of Buck's his pants quick. 

"Hey, hey. What are you doing?" With force and precision, Alyosha used both of his muscular hands to try to pry Buck's metal fingers off his throat.

Buck's eyelids flutter as his brain received his heart rate and the pressure readings from his carotid arteries.

"Hey! Snap out of it!" Alyosha shouted.

Buck responded and unclamped his hand.

"We are done here." Aloysha held Buck's hands against his side. 

"No we are not done here. I said let me." Buck gripped the sides of Alyosha's shirt, broke free of his hold and slid Alyosha's shirt off in one motion. He grabbed him by the throat with his cybernetic hand and pushed him prone on the sofa. Alyosha did not resist. 

Buck moved on top of him. He held him by the throat and kissed him on the mouth. He showered his body with sweet kisses everywhere. He let go of his throat only when he was assured of Alyosha's full cooperate. He petted and kissed his head, his face, his eyes, his chest, arms, abdomen. He kissed his hands and his lips and bare chest. Buck didn't squeeze Alyosha's throat again but he kept his cybernetic hand near his throat monitoring his reactions. When it looked like Alyosha was about to reach climax Buck backed off. At first, he'd back off every three seconds, then every five, then every 30. Then minutes. This went on for hours until Alyosha surrendered to him. Not just physically. Alyosha traveled beyond orgasm. Alyosha was filled with emotion and a release like he had never known. He felt like he was reborn. Like he was an infant. Like none of his life had ever happened. Tears, he never shed, streamed from his eyes: only to be taken up by Bucky's kisses and licks, and Bucky sliding his skin on his.

He held Bucky and felt his soft skin and his hair brushed Aloysha's skin like silk. Bucky radiated the warmth of a fire that does not burn. His lips were like eternity itself. His eyes told tales of the ages, the history of man, of battles, of warriors and conquest but also great beauty. Alyosha marched through time forgotten and experienced a catharsis that was limitless.

"This is how you made me feel all that long time ago. This is how it felt to be me." Bucky did not stop until Alyosha was spread out on the sofa, naked, asleep like a baby sleeps. Even then Bucky did not stop. He laid over him, holding him, touching him, kissing him chanting to him:

"You are worthy of love. You are love. You are the light in the dark. Your perfect body. Your sacred body. Your glorious body." Until he too fell asleep.

****

They woke the next morning with Tony standing over them.

"Dudes ... Get up. You're crushing my crush velvet! ... I gave you beds." Tony stomped over to the bar only to come back over to the sofa.

Buck and Alyosha, arms and legs tangled together, rubbed their eyes, and made their morning moans.

"Come on. I making bloody Mary's." Tony hit Buck on his bionic arm. Buck hustled up.

"No. I'll make the bloody Mary's." Bucky said in a sleepy voice. He jumped off the sofa and limped on his right leg getting into his slacks. Tony noticed his nudity. Buck shrugged it off. At the end of the sofa Buck intentionally picked up Alyosha's shirt and put it on. 

Embarrassed, Alyosha rose from the sofa and grabbed his pants. Bucky looked him over in the full light of day.

"You've kept your body fit." Buck said.

Tony glanced over Alyosha himself.

"You enhance soldiers. Whaddaya think? A man over 50's a has been?" Tony harped.

Alyosha slipped on his pants. Puzzled, he picked up Bucky's shirt at the end of the sofa.

Steve walked in the cinema room door and took in the scene: the crushed, crushed velvet sofa; Buck in Alyosha's shit, Alyosha shirtless; the overstimulated look of the two men.

Alyosha went behind the bar and stood in front of Bucky. 

Buck wrapped his arms around himself rubbing Alyosha's shirt into his skin. He cracked a sly smile at Alyosha's struggle to get Buck's tight shirt on.

Alyosha knotted the front of Bucky's shirt into a wad and pulled Buck towards him. 

"Can I have my shirt back, please," he said.

They regarded each other. 

There is no sight on earth more beautiful than Bucky in the morning; his flushed face, his skin toasty warm from the bed, the spell of dreams clinging to his expression.

Tony and Steve shut up and watched the two men behind the bar.

Bucky came close to the him. He slipped off his shirt as if in slow motion. His hair was pushed back from his face by the collar of the shirt and he held that pose looking at Alyosha from under his human arm. He let his hair fall slowly around his face as he took of the shirt.

The sexual tension in the room was extreme: the way sexual tension always is between two alpha males.

That instant, Steve had a fantasy, right there, right then. In the fantasy Bucky threw himself into Alyosha's arms and they kissed and stripped and roughed and groped around on eachother so passionately they destroyed the whole bar area. Warrior cocks on display for all to see, until one of them took the other one down and mounted him like an animal. When Cap snapped out of it, both men had on their original shirts.

"Thank you, James." Alyosha said. The word James hung in the air. The sound of it, the emotion of it embarrassed Alyosha and he glanced at Cap and Tony who were stuck to the spot with their mouths gaping.

"Looks like you guys got done what you needed to get done." Steve said.

"That's right… Things are different now." Bucky had full awareness of his sexual powers and his power to seduce.

"I'll never be the same." Alyosha mumbled.

"Intense?" Steve knew Buck knew he was, what Steve called God's gift to women, that he was God's gift to men, that he was God's gift.

"Intense? Yes."

Tony turned on the movie screen displaying an elaborately detailed timeline.

"Eyes front and center. Goal. Alyosha will be deployed into the future in one week. Let's move." Tony said.

"I have to shower." Alyosha went out the door.

"That's not a bad idea." Steve said.

****

In the hall outside the Cinema room, Alyosha rested his hand on the wall and look down at his feet. His feelings bubbled to the surface. He felt such a relief from guilt. With that in the door, the trail opened and other emotions came through. Such was a release from 50 years of oppression. All the years of lies; he would never hide his sexuality again. He was out. He would stay out. And then came sadness bobbing its nasty head. He felt in his heart he would never have 'James' again. His body shuttered up his chest, a painful wave like an invisible hand put invisible pressure on his throat and he cried wave, after wave, of tears. Horrendous noise came from his throat - retched from his soul.

Natalia walked up behind him and slipped into the cinema room without disturbing his catharsis. She thought she was out of emotional turmoil but she could feel tension in the room.

Buck glanced at her from behind the bar. "Who wants a virgin bloody Mary?"

"I don't," said Tony.

"I don't," said Steve.

"In that case, I don't either," said Natalia.

Cap looked intensely at Bucky and didn't even glance at Nat when she came in. "Did you deposit some ILLUMINE into that guy?"

Tony ears picked up. That got his full attention. 

Nat sat at the bar beside Cap, looked at Buck, and waited for the answer.

"What? ... Since when is that you business... if you ever ... if you have to know… Of course not." Buck was not in the mood for a challenge. Even though Buck knew there was some truth to what Steve said. He had thought about making a deposit, but he knew what he did with Alyosha was right and true, and he was tired of the stigma of being a bug under a microscope. His emotions were swinging around the room.

"You know what?" he lashed out. "How do you know your super soldier serum is not sexually transmitted? Haven't thought of that have you?"

By the look on Steve and Nat's face they had not. 

Bucky finished the drinks.

"I hadn't thought of that either – my bad. Damn, is Trine here?" Tony said.

"Yeah – got in late last night." Steve said.

"You need to turn in a semen sample and tell her. She'll have to be tested." Tony said.

"Come on – don't you think that would be to much of a coincidence? It can't be the same deal. It's just impossible." Steve said.

"Speculations are a waste of time. Collect the facts." Tony drank down his drink. "I've got to revise the action plan… Meeting 1PM - Dandalo will be here."

Cap looked shell shocked.

"I know what you're going through right now." Bucky held him by his shoulders. Steve's head bobbed left and right until he looked at Bucky. 

"Best to talk to Trine right away." Buck filled a glass of Bloody Mary for her and handed it to Cap. He went to her.

Natalie and Bucky didn't look at each other. They didn't speak to each other. He came around the bar, sat beside her on the barstool and they sipped their drinks. His cybernetic hand fell by his side and his metal fingers touched hers. He held her hand: heart rate 66, Skin temperature 98°, O2 saturation 99%, C02 25, PH 5.5.

****

Deploying Alyosha to the future as a spy was the biggest rush job Tony had ever done. Of course, Steve was eager to send him on his way. Natalie was not going to lose any sleep over his departure either. Alyosha went to 2050 with a tricorder that looked like a forearm sheath that fit neatly under his under armor jacket. The tricorder scanned, computed, recorded and sent data in a constant stream to Tony. The machine did more than three things but Tony kept the nickname for nostalgia.

The team of Tony, Dandalo, Bruce and Trine delved deep into the ILLUMINE project – goal – Dr. Trine Hougan's publication of a comprehensive paper on the subject. As before, Buck and Natalie were lab techs and Steve the flunky lab assistant. Concentration was poor after the staggering discovery that Steve's super soldier serum was, in fact, able to be sexually transmitted. Steve's serum was a completely different compound from Bucky's but still managed to cross the blood brain barrier. Trine was positive for the stuff. They considered publishing may be premature but they decided to document anyway. Since the principles involved were closely affected by their discovery no one felt they were in the headspace to make such a earth shattering, monumental decision at this time.

Natalie was assigned to the team of Tony/Dandalo; Bucky to the Bruce/Trine team. Buck was Banner's customary partner in the lab where they enjoyed an acute level of communication. The lab was where Bucky's experience with brain/computer interface and LSD really shined. Bruce told Tony more than once that Bucky's experience, ability to problem solve and think out-of-the-box more than made up for his lack of formal education.

The first day of study and experimentation on the element ILLUMINE was long and hard. Concentration was so poor, they overwork themselves to compensate. Errors were bound to happen. Steve left an experiment unprotected and it sizzled about to explode. Dandalo grabbed Tony and Nat by the arm and push them out-of-the-way. By a split-second Dandalo neutralized the experiment before the whole lab blew up.

"That was a close call. Are you people harmed?" Dandalo said.

"I'm fine. Let's clean up and go to dinner." Tony brushed his hands together.

Natalie said she was fine but she was not fine. She went to the therapeutic room. Nova was asleep in her bed with her personal care robot standing motionless at the side of the crib. Natalie held her head and lost her balance. Maybe she was just startled, she thought, but that didn't make any sense. She laid on the bed and turned the starry night motif on the ceiling and took some deep breaths. Her arm tingled where Dandalo had touched her like she had been stung with a thousand little needles. 'I have to report this' she thought. She felt sick. She relaxed… she felt good. She felt peaceful and content. Reporting was the furthest thing from her mind. She felt euphoria. She traveled up the euphoria stair step. She felt like she had been injected with heroin, cocaine and LSD. She felt overwhelming love for everyone and everything. She felt a strong desire to share these feelings with everyone in the world. She called Bucky.

"Come to our room right away and bring Dandalo – it's an emergency."

Buck burst through the door, glanced at her, glanced at Nova.

"Where's Dandalo?" Nat said.

"Got an emergency call and left. What's the emergency?" Buck looked over Nova and Nat closely. "She's fine – you're fine."

"Come here." Nat gave Buck a beckoning stare.

"Oh… that… I've chemicals all over myself." In the bath he stripped off his lab coat and threw it on the floor. He took off his shirt. He gathered his hair in a rubber band and lathered his hands, face and neck. 

Nat came from behind him. She slid her arms around his middle and up his chest placing one hand on each pec. She rested her face on his back.

He put his hands over hers. He felt a stinging sensation wherever her hands had been.

"What? … What's that?"

"It'll quit stinging in a moment -"

Bucky pushed her hand away and rubbed his chest to brush off the sting.

"What's on your hands?"

"Come laydown. Are you dizzy?" Natalie led him by the arm to the bed.

"I'm…"

"It's okay… really…. you can trust me… can't you?"

"Yeah… but… don't touch me again."

Natalia was silent and motionless. "How do you feel now?"

"It's clear to me that… that… everything's fine."

"Yes. Yes."

****

Buck laid flat on the bed looking at the starry night motif on the ceiling. It did feel like LSD but with clarity: pain-free, worry free, way more profound feeling of well-being than Tranquility, orgasmic but not sexual. Not only was he right; the whole universe was right. He looked at Nat and touched her face. Another rush traveled up his arm.

"Oh my God - you love me – I know you love me. I feel loved." Not just loved but loved like the moment of creation, like the first time your mother saw your face. Loved like the face of God. 

They did not go back to the lab. They did not go anywhere. They learned quickly, there was a refractory period of 15 minutes where the touch solicited no responses. So, every 15 minutes Natalia touched Bucky and watched his response in another 15 minutes Bucky returned the favor. They were careful not to touch Nova.

At 3 AM Natalie went to the bathroom. Bucky laid restless on the bed. Buck left the therapeutic room. He walked into Steve and Trine's bed room without knocking. He walked to Steve's side of the bed. Steve and Trine laid naked on the bed covered with a peach colored satan sheet. Buck put his left knee on the bed and his left hand by Steve head. He leaned over the bed watching them. Steve grew restless and opened his eyes.

"What? What are you doing?" he said.

Buck gripped Steve's upper arm with his cybernetic hand and held him firm.

"What's wrong? What's going on?" Steve glanced at Trine. Steve knew Buck was overstimulated… Buck looked intensely at Steve with a sober but focused expression. The shadows played around the room. All that could be heard was the hum from the electric clock by the bed.

"Bucky? Bucky…"

Buck touched his human hand on the middle of Steve's bare chest and pressed, he blinked his eyes rapidly. Steve flinched.

"Don't touch me!" Buck said loudly and looked at Trine who rolled over in the bed without waking. Steve did not move.

"What? Oh…"

Buck smiled.

"Now touch her." Bucky left the room.

The next morning Steve met Buck at the hall. Steve backed Buck to the wall.

"Why did you touch me like that?" Steve said.

"You know."

"I DO NOT know. Why did you do this to me?"

Buck shoved the sleeve on his human arm above his elbow.

"Touch me." Buck said.

Steve did not move so Buck moved him. He took Steve's hand and placed it on his bare human skin. Bucky fell against the wall, his head hit the wall. Steve eyelids fluttered.

"Oh… Oh… you love me… I feel it." Steve said. "Buck... Buck..."

Buck slid halfway down the wall and Steve went with him

"Enough." Buck said and Steve let him go.

Trine came down the hall.

"We're leaving." Steve said.

"Goodbye then."

****

Meanwhile, back at the lab. Preoccupied with a delicate experiment, Bruce Banner did not notice he was alone in the lab until 3 AM. He finished, cleaned the lab and went to bed. At 7 AM he returned. No one was in the lab. No one came by 9 AM and by 12 noon Bruce called out:

"Jarvis, connect me with Tony."

"I am unable to connect." Jarvis spoke.

"Where is he?"

"Tony is not in the building."

"When did he leave?"

"9:10 PM yesterday."

"Where's Dandalo?"

"Dandalo received an emergency call." Jarvis played the call. "Dandalo left right after the call at 9 PM yesterday."

"Damn! Who's in the building?"

"James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes, Natalia Romanova and daughter Nova are in the building."

"Steve and Trine?"

"They left the building at 7 AM."

"For a run?"

"They left through the ranch house."

"What the hell is going on around here? Connect me with the therapeutic room."

"Hello?" Natalie said.

"Hey, are you guys coming to work?"

"Yeah, Bruce, we're on our way."

Buck turned to her. "We're going to work?"

"No, we're not going to work."

****

Bruce let out a sigh. Getting as lost in his work as he does always has bad outcomes. Bruce decided to catch up with yesterday and asked to Jarvis to run all audio and video surveillance from the last 24 hours. He watched closely. He saw Dandalo avert an accident. He heard the emergency call come in from Dandalo's ship. He saw Dandalo dematerialize followed shortly by Tony exiting Solaris through the ranch house exit. Tony did not change his clothing or take anything with him. He saw Natalie leave the lab within seconds of Tony and go to the therapeutic room and remain there. He heard her call to Bucky and he saw Bucky go into the room at 9:15 PM, exit the room at 3 AM and enter Steve's room, exiting at 3:07 AM and returning to his room. Bruce saw the odd exchange between Steve and Bucky in the hall at 7 AM and Steve and Trine leave the building through the ranch house exit with no belongings. Bruce marched to the therapeutic room and pounded on the door.

"Hey! Are you guys alright?"

"Yes. Fine. We're dressing. We'll be in the lab pronto. We're just moving slow this morning."

Bruce went back to the lab and reviewed the data from the day before. Not satisfied, he watched in slow motion. There was no mistake about it. When Dandalo touched Tony and Nat they instantly rubbed their arms where Dandalo touched. They made a grimaced facial expression. Bruce went back to the therapeutic room. 

Natalie came to the door but did not open the door.

"Look Natalie, I'm going to have to insist on seeing the three of you in person. Something is wrong. I have to see if your okay. Is Nova okay?"

Bucky rolled Nova's crib to the door. Nova's personal robot followed.

"Say hi to Uncle Bruce." Natalie said. Nova was one year old and she talked but she could not say 'hello Uncle Bruce'. She chirped some baby words.

"Natalie?"

"Okay Bruce, I'm going to come clean with you." Natalie said softly. "Please just between us… Well, you know Bucky's been overstimulated lately – well – we had a big blowup." She whispered. "You know - over Alyosha." She whispered into the crack of the door.

"Yeah. Over Alyosha." Bucky yelled. "You don't have to whisper. Everybody knows. My life is broadcast on channel 2."

"This is our first fight ever and we swore we wouldn't leave this room until we worked it out. As you can hear, I need a little more time. Please. Bruce."

"Okay, Okay. I'm leaving the building. I'm going to look for Tony. He's gone to town and I know all his haunts." Bruce stomped off down the hall.

Buck touched Natalie as she passed him and she fell onto the bed. She timed 15 minutes and then touched him and watched.

Unaccustomed to operating without a team, Bruce formulated a plan. If there were just some way to communicate with Dandalo. Tony had his communicator to Dandalo on him at all times. Buck had long since given up his communicator to the Androgyns. Bruce wanted in that room. They were such good liars, he thought, too good. His suspicions grew. His mind raced forward to the scenario of how he could get into the therapeutic room and the aftermath. Bucky would overreact. He was already overstimulated; Bruce could tell that by his voice. Bruce would 'react' to Bucky's over reaction; everyone knows where that leads. Natalie would intervene. Nova's personal robot would go into protection mode as it was programmed to do. Do not underestimate the robot because it's small. It could operate offensively and could do serious damage if it analyzed Nova was threatened. Disaster was inevitable and with a baby in the room. No. Bruce had to resist the urge. They were alive, they were in the room, they had access to food and water, and they had made no attempt to leave. Bruce needed serious back up and a firm plan before he would do what he really wanted to do, which was to: BREAK DOWN THE DOOR.

There was only one thing to do. Find Tony. Bruce was confident he knew every place Tony would go in Malibu. Just in case that failed Bruce had a back up plan. In the process of making Alyosha's tricorder Tony developed an ultra sensitive DNA tracker. This tracker was so precise it tracked a person's DNA by their sloughed off skin cell. The 30 to 40,000 skin cells that fall off the human body each hour made a pretty trail. Tony was not overconfident if the target was mobile but if the target was stationary, say, for food, they made a bonanza: a mess of skin cells sloughed on silverware, tablecloth, and especially saliva on glasses and mugs. Bruce smiled to himself when he imagined the explosion of cells left in bathrooms. 

Bruce thought of that green thing; his usual aura before going big. He thought about taking Tranquility. He talked himself out of both ideas. He did not want to under reach or overreact. A thought popped into his mind. He could just take a little Tranquility, to sharpen, to ensure the 'other' did not appear, to ease his apprehension. That was the addict talking and Bruce was not going to listen. Instead, he dressed in his most baggy, stretchy Under armour, took the remaining car from the ranch house garage, took a deep breath and headed down to Malibu.

The day was bright and sunny. Everything seemed so normal. Sea gulls sailed around the calm blue sky. The rhythm of the surf pacified. Bruce rolled down the passenger window and inhaled the sweet warm air. He wished Tony was in that seat. He wished Natalie was in that seat. Hell, he wished Bucky was in that seat.

First stop was an apartment building where one of Tony's past girlfriends lived. There was DNA evidence in the hall that Tony had been there recently. Bruce rang the bell. No answer. He manipulated the security system and entered the apartment. Tony had definitely been there. The apartment was empty. Bruce collected some of the girls DNA and added it to the tricorder. He proceeded to the home of another old friend of Tony's. He had been there too. This girl was not home either but Tony's DNA was hot. Bruce followed the trail to a men's club, a bar, and a restaurant. No luck. Bruce searched till dusk, checked into a downtown hotel to regroup and re-calibrate. He organized a plan to simultaneously pick up Steve and Trine's trail too. 

There was nothing odd on the local news that night. 

Banner's established pattern went on for a week. Over time, odd stories surfaced on the news. There were many missing persons reported from workers in restaurants, bars, clubs and health clubs. After 10 days of searching Bruce noticed people standing around in odd postures with odd expressions on their face like Steve and Bucky looked in the hall when Bucky pushed up his sleeve and made Steve touches his bare skin. 

After two weeks of searching Bruce noticed traffic was significantly less. There were no pedestrians on the streets. There were reports of healthcare workers, police, public health workers not showing up for work. Normal functioning was grinding to a halt. Whatever 'it' was: it was spreading.

Desperate, Bruce return to Solaris. There were no messages. Bruce watched the camera footage from outside the therapeutic room. No one had entered or left the room in two weeks. Bruce called Nat and Bucky. They gave him the same sophisticated line of bullshit as before. Bruce became upset. He did not try to stop it. He puffed up to the 400 pound lime green petite Hulk: the helper, the saver, the rescuer. He flew into action. He worked at top speed like a maniac. He adapted four of Tony's extra Iron Man suits and all his personal robots to respond to remote control - powered by thought waves. Bruce devised a headset with clear thought control. The hardware responded approximately. Petite Hulk laughed out loud watching the suits and robots rush around responding to his thoughts. Bruce collected himself after some delicate equipment was broken.

Next he set out to devise a super hazmat suit using Tony's Under armour – Gore-Tex like material. The fabric breathed but was impregnable to moisture, microscopic organisms and even viruses. Super lightweight and skin tight, Bruce made three suits. He wiggled all of his 400 pounds into one. He took three Iron Man suits and three robots and broke down the door of the therapeutic room.

Petite Hulk took three steps into the room and Nova started to cry and point her tiny finger at her parents. He picked her up. She came right to him. Even a monster look better to her than her parents. He reassured her. He felt she recognized him by his voice. He took her to a safe room he had prepared, full of the kid-centric items, toys, space to run free, and two personal robots to guide and care for her. Lady and the Tramp played on a screen. She went right to it, picked up a stuffed dog and sat in front of the movie. She payed no attention to Bruce. Her personal robot followed her, picked up a stuffed bear and sat beside her as it was programmed to do. 

Bruce left an Iron Man suit as centry outside the door. He returned to the therapeutic room. Bucky and Nat had not moved and seemed oblivious to the fact their year old daughter was removed from the room crying by a four hundred pound giant in a yellow big bird suit and antennae headset. Bruce assess the situation. From the look of Bucky and Nat they had not eaten in two weeks. Bruce noticed stacks of empty baby food and formula containers in the room: looked like they had not forgotten to feed Nova. From the look of their shrunken skin they had had little to drink. They touched each other. They were not in the right minds. 'It' looked to be just as powerful now as it was two weeks ago.

Baffled, Bruce yelled: "Natalia! Bucky! You people are sick. You have to come with me. Now!"

They did not respond. Petite Hulk grabbed Bucky by the leg. He couldn't get too close because Bucky bites. If Bucky clamped down on you with his teeth his grip was like that of a pitbull you weren't getting that jaw open. If that happened Hulk's suit integrity would be compromised. Bucky fought. Bucky was weak but still powerful enough to make a mess. Hulk managed to drag him off the bed onto the floor. Buck's cybernetic fingers grabbed Nat by the ankle and held tight. He fought Bruce with the rest of his emaciated body. With his newly enhanced Vibranium leg, he push kicked the 400 pound petite Hulk through the glass door leading to the balcony. The railing kept him from falling the three stories to the beach. He rushed Bucky and got a hold of him. Two mind controlled Iron Man suits held his limbs. Three mind controlled personal robots pried his cybernetic fingers off of Natalia's ankle: slowly, gently, not to harm her. Buck screamed at the top of his lungs for the whole procedure. The two Iron Man suits and three robots drug Bucky to the lab. He got away from them three times. He knew no pain.

Petit Hulk carried Natalie, who, given her lower muscle mass, was more dehydrated. She let out a scream like an animal about to die. Her scream upset Bruce on a primal level and he feared he would go all the way Hulk and not have his mind about him. 

He put soft restraints on Natalie and that held her. He was not so lucky with Bucky. He could not be held by the heavy leather restraints. He needed the metal restraints. Even with them in place he fought to the point of damaging his body. He wanted her and he would cut off his leg to get to her. He fought valiantly. He could see her through the glass half wall and they made maximum effort to get to each other. They yelled out and attempted to communicate using sign language. Bruce closed the curtain between them so they could not see one another. They went wild. Bruce covered his ears and resisted the urge to run from the building. Their cries were blood curdling. Blood trickled from Buck's wrists and ankles. Natalia's heart rate raced to 200 bpm. They looked as if they were overtaken by epileptic seizures. Bruce was forced to open the curtain. They calmed down as soon as they could see each other and communicate with each other by signing. 

Bruce had his hands full. He worked on Natalie first. She was the weakest and easiest to control. He took blood, hair, saliva and skin samples. He started IVs and a feeding tube. He did not want to sedate them until he knew more about what he was dealing with. 

Getting the same samples from Bucky proved to be a struggle. The nasogastric tube was the worst, but as luck would have it, when Buck was told to swallow, he swallowed. Bruce looked into Bucky's wild eyes. There was no way he was in reality or even recognized Bruce in any way. He was animalistic and Bruce guarded himself from being bitten or attacked by Bucky's yellow toothed foul smelling mouth. 

Leaving the Iron Man suits as guards, Bruce gathered up Bucky and Nat's samples and headed to the lab to analyze what the hell this was – a drug? – a virus - a parasite? Dandalo could have contaminated them with anything. Something not of this earth. Something not of this galaxy. Something even a genius like Bruce Banner could not identify, isolate or even understand. Bruce worked in a fury into the night. Every few minutes he checked off something 'it' was not from a list. 

****

Three days later the list of things Bruce ruled out was long. Though Bruce could find no evidence it was a drug, what Natalie and Bucky were going through looked like drug withdrawal. They struggled to get to each other with an emotional and physical intensity that broke Banner's heart. They pulled at the restraints, they shook, they ground their teeth and sweated profusely. They screamed to each other through the glass partitions, but the rooms were soundproof. They frantically signed to each other with sign language.

Natalie became unresponsive at one point. When she did not respond to him, Buck went crazy. Bruce had to shut the curtain. Bruce did not have the heart to let Buck see he had to put her on life-support. Bruce gingerly tried to sedate Bucky. He tried small doses of Valium, Ativan, morphine, Tranquility and different gases. Amyl nitrate seem to work best for short periods: oddly enough, it seemed to calm him.

In the lab, Bruce turned on a local Malibu radio station. More and more people had disappeared. Bruce escalated his work in the lab. He was not getting anywhere. He had not slept much in two weeks or eaten regularly and it was beginning to show. He became frustrated. He felt he was going to lose it. He ran out the back door to the beach and he did lose it. He Hulked out. All the way out. All 1000 pounds of him, green and naked. He roared at the moon and threw handfuls of rocks halfway to Maui. He could not maintain the Hulk properly because of lack of sleep, poor nutrition and severe stress. He became himself. He laid on the beach and could not move. He laid on the beach a long time. He staggered into Solaris with his torn clothing wrapped around him. He went right to Natalia's room. He sat on the wheeled stool and hung his hands between his legs. His shoulders slumped. He rolled himself to her bedside. He slipped on hazmat gloves, held her hand and broke down and cried. 

Dandalo materialized at the foot of her bed. Dandalo walked towards Bruce and Bruce jumped from the stool. The stool sailed across the room hitting Dandalo in the shins.

"Don't touch me!" Bruce yelled.

"I will not! No! No! I am here to help. I have the antidote. Please. I was just a carrier. I do not have it!"

"Dandalo ... she's near death," Bruce cried. He touched the sides of Natalie's head and his shredded clothing fell to the floor.

"Then there is no time to lose. We must go to the lab and adapt this for human use. Where is Tony?"

"I don't know. I DON'T KNOW." 

Bruce threw his gloved hands into the air and stomped around the room naked. His skin shimmered chartreuse.

Dandalo touched the wristband and spoke. Bruce could not hear what Dandalo said over his own voice. He stomped around the room repeating, 'I don't know, I don't know'. In his distress, Bruce did not see Blixa appear until Blixa spoke.

"Huh ?…" Bruce said.

Blixa came to Bruce and made eye contact with him. Bruce immediately relaxed and stared into Blixa's hypnotic eyes.

"You need sleep, Bruce. Dandalo can handle things."

Bruce glanced at other Androgyns who appeared here and there. Colorful, beautiful beings appeared out of nowhere.

"Come with me now." Blixa said with a voice as smooth as cream and the aroma of a warm summers day. Bruce looked into Blixa's eyes again and he knew Blixa was right. Stark naked, he walked with Blixa to his room.

****

Eight hours later Banner and Blixa walked by the exam rooms. There was a dark oval shaped object hovering over Bucky. He was unrestrained and watched Bruce and Blixa walk by. Buck shut his eyes again but that one glance was more in reality than Bruce had seen him in weeks. Natalie was off life support but not yet conscious. She looked peaceful. 

Banner and Blixa joined Dandalo in the lab.

"Greetings Bruce!" Dandalo spun around in the chair. "You look much better."

"Amazing what eight hours of sleep and a good meal can do for your brain function." Bruce stood over Dandalo's workspace.

"Dandalo – what the hell is it?"

"Oh Bruce, you were so close, so close. On the right trail of a mold but it is electrical. It's called BLISS. It grows on a planet in the Torn system. Another race, ancestors to Androgyns, reached their reckoning and instead of adjusting themselves to their planets resources they branched out. They conquered other planets and inhabiting them. They discovered BLISS, which they are immune to, just like Torn's. But they found other races were not. They invaded the planet, disseminated the BLISS, infected the population and waited until all the inhabitants were dead. Then they moved in. Infrastructure - environment intact."

"That worked?"

"Oh yes. They searched for a susceptible civilization. Populations where the people looked outside themselves for happiness and coped by using drugs, sex, food, entertainment and consumerism. Oh yes, they were very successful."

"And they came here?" Banner asked.

"No, they were extinct eons ago. In the end they became angry that their plan had failed after killing billions and they sent the BLISS out on its own. We became infected with it on a routine survey of a planet so far out of the realm of possibility that BLISS could be there. We were caught…"

"Off guard?"

"Affirmative."

"What are the disks?"

"Neutralizers. BLISS is neutralized by GALVANIC light waves present in certain areas of the galaxy where BLISS does not grow. Another race discovered the antidote. We got the disks in a trade." Dandalo smiled a huge toothy grin.

"Damn… you mean…"

"Yes. If I had not traded… We have been through it the last two weeks." Dandalo looked at the screen monitoring the medical rooms.

"Bucky Barnes is a miraculous organism."

"Yes." Bruce smiled. "Yes, he is."

"Since the disc has been above him, his ILLUMINE is healing him at an exponential rate. Each minute - every 60 seconds he improves."

"And Natalie?"

"Right behind him."

"How do we did get these disks mass produced?"

"That is the problem. We need Tony. I read your research on your DNA tracker – brilliant work - is it up for trade?"

"Seriously, Dandalo, you can have it!"

"Torns do not accept gifts." Dandalo looked indignit.

"Alright already… Hum…" Bruce glanced at the disks. "These neutralizing disks will do."

"Done deal."

Dandalo and Bruce shook on it: one jerk up and one jerk down, Dandalo's usual handshake.

Dandalo waved in the direction of the TV broadcasting live from a small Malibu Station. The sound was off.

"Things are not good in town. When Barnes and Romanova are able you must take the DNA tracker and the mobile neutralizer desks and find Tony. Androgyns cannot do that. We need him. We need him yesterday."

"How soon will they be ready?"

"Bucky 24 hours, Natalie 48 hours."

"I'll prepare two more suits." Bruce turned the sound up on the news:

"I repeat again… I'm not a newscaster… I'm crew… A cameraman… I'm trying to keep the station running. No one else came to work today but me. I can tell you what I saw on my way to work today. There are hardly any people on the streets. A car here and there. I heard there were not enough people to run Malibu General Hospital. I don't know if this is true. I didn't go there myself. I feel bad repeating things but I don't know what else to do. I don't know what's going on."

Bruce turned the sound off and called the station. He told the kid to put out an APB on Tony Stark and he told the kid to warn people not to touch each other. He told the kid to broadcast that the Avengers are in town and help is on the way.

Bruce built three more super hazmat suits and this time adapted to resist electrical current. They were super thin, super light and bright yellow. The old suits would have been in effective.

Natalie and Bucky looked at each other. They remembered little of their ordeal. They appeared more sober than usual and were afraid to touch each other. They slipped into their yellow Under armour hazmat suit with a hood that covered all but their goggles. A sprig of Bucky's hair stuck out. His blue eyes looked green under the yellow goggles. As soon as they were suited up Bucky and Nat flew into each others arms: petting, holding, kissing. Natalie's face naturally fell onto Bucky's chest. Her lips at his nipple line. She rubbed her face over his chest. He ran his hands up and down her body. At one point, he lifted her off her feet. This was an embrace that did not end. The emotion of the embrace spread to Bruce and he went to them and stood by them and they open their arms to him and they hugged him. The empathetic Androgyns eyes raced with explosions of color.

Dandalo and Blixa hugged. At that moment they felt maybe, just maybe, things will be alright. The intensity wound down a little when Dandalo spoke one little word: 

"Tony." 

Avengers and Androgyns composed themselves and went back to business. 

Dandalo and the Androgyn helpers left Solaris and hovered the spacecraft over the town to boost the power of the DNA tracker, the neutralizers and keep in contact with the mission team.

Three mind controlled Iron Man suits accompanied Bruce, Bucky and Natalie. Banner placed the elaborate headset on his head and deployed the antennas. Natalie operated the DNA tracker strapped over her shoulder. Bucky carry a stun gun and other, 'hope we don't have to use them', weapons.

"Don't fear if something happens. If someone happens to touch you. Don't panic. Don't overreact." Bruce briefed his team.

"I feel calm and confident." Buck said.

"I think we're fine Bruce." Natalia said.

They drove the Medi van down the main street of Malibu following the DNA trackers signal. There was an explosion of DNA on the monitor. A big bump.

"Dandalo was right. The boost makes a big difference." Bruce said.

"He must be stationary." Natalie said.

They left the van and walk down the center of Main Street. Many people on the street ran from the sight. They ran out of the way. Some on the street were touching each other oblivious to what was happening around them.

The trail lead them to a downtown hotel.

"Does Tony ever come here?"

"Not that I know of."

Buck stood with the stun gun pointed to the ground. 

Natalie glance up the 12 stories of the hotel and glanced at the tracker.

"He's in there."

Bruce controlled the Iron Man suits and they walked into the lobby. Lights on – no one home. The hotel was fairly new but in desperate need of remodeling.

"Let's start with the penthouse… Where else would he be?"

"Right," Buck said.

The elevator worked and soon they stood in front of the elaborate penthouse doors. The DNA signal was off the chart.

"What do we do? Knock?" Natalie said.

Buck did not answer. He pointed his cybernetic fingers and jammed them into the wood around the doorknob. His wrist spun like a drill bit. He yanked his hand out of the door, glanced at the knob in his hand and dropped it to the floor with the thud. The penthouse door squeaked open.

Bruce and Natalie looked at the little puffs of smoke that waifed from Bucky's mechanical wrist.

"Okay... then..." Bruce said and headed in. He ran into Tony who laid on the floor by the bed. There was a girl on the bed.

"He's alive."

Bruce placed a hover pad over him and activated it. He moved on to the girl.

"The girl is dead."

The steaks on this mission were evident on everyone's face.

"Who is the girl?" Bucky asked.

"Oh my God… " Nat exclaimed, "It's Pepper!"

"Holy shit."

The dominos fell in a cascade: Tony and Dandalo; Dandalo and the alien infestation; alien infestation and Tony; Tony and Pepper; Pepper and death. Dandalo materialize by the bed. 

"Pepper?" Dandalo looked at her dead body. "Pepper?" Dandalo's eyes were as big as the Alphane moon.

Buck recognized the look on Dandalo's face. Whatever it was, he had it.

"Can you do anything?" Buck touched the alien on the shoulder.

Dandalo shook no but said, "I'll try." The alien signaled the ship and laid the communicator on her chest and she dematerialized. With huge liquid eyes Dandalo made direct eye contact with Bucky.

"I know what you're feeling." Bucky said.

"We're ready to transport Tony to the van." Bruce said.

"Just a minute. Natalie can you switch the DNA tracker to Steve's DNA?" Bucky looked at Bruce. "They may have run into each other or teamed up. Steve may be around here."

Natalie made the adjustment. "His DNA? It's a strange reading." Bucky looked over her shoulder. "Yeah. But it's a strong signal. Let's move and see what happens."

Natalie went out into the hall and flashed the tracker around. 

The two Iron Man suits picked Tony from the floor. He flipped around like a wet noodle and slipped out of their metal grips. With one loud snap, Buck broke the legs off the coffee table and the suits used it like a stretcher. They all move to the hall.

"Steve signal is stronger out here. Come on ... it's hot." Natalie said.

"I have to start treatment right away. Keep in touch." Bruce and the remote control suits, Tony and Dandalo disappeared around the corner.

"He's in this hotel… How did you know?" Nat said.

"Premonition." Bucky said. But it was more then a premonition. He felt an urgency. Pepper's death was bad enough what if it was Trine?

They headed down the stairwell. Steve's signal increased with each floor they descended. They soon stood before a door that was sure to be Steve's room. Buck knocked the door down with the shoulder of his cybernetic arm and burst into the room. Steve and Trine were conscious, touching each other and actively reacting. Natalie reported to Bruce.

"They will fight you. Be prepared." Bruce said in a loud voice over the communicator. Buck grabbed Steve by the upper arm and flung him out of the bed with such force he hit the wall - knocking the air out of his lungs. Buck pressed his body against Steve's pinning him to the wall. Natalie slid Trine out of the bed and held her upright. She was weak and and non-combat trained, even so, she tried to get to Steve. Momentarily shocked into unresponsiveness, Steve came around and fought Bucky. He struggled and increased his resistance.

"Get her out of here." Bucky yelled to Natalie. Even with the difference in their sizes Nat drug Trine out the door.

Bruce yelled over Buck's earpiece:

"Don't knock him out Buck. Do you hear me? Do you not render him unconscious… acknowledge please." All Bruce could hear was the sound of a struggle: heavy exerted breathing and the thud of bodies as they hit the walls and floor.

"Bucky? Bucky?"

"That might… be… impossible. Ouch ... Steve - stop it!"

Bruce heard the crack of furniture breaking and Steve roaring like a lion.

"I'm sending the remotes."

"That's… not… necessary… ug… ug…"

Nat arrived at the van with Trine.

"Good ... she's subdued." Banner said.

"Did I fight you?" Nat asked.

Bruce rolled his eyes.

"I can handle her." Bruce handed Natalie the remote control headset. "Just think and they obey." Nat put on the headset.

Bruce yelled after her, "whatever you do don't let Bucky wear the headset… you know… his mind." 

Natalie laughed but she had to agree.

"The van is full. I'll have to go back to Solaris. The suits can fly Steve back. Good luck."

****

Back in Steve's hotel room, Bucky, not wanting to hurt Steve, was taking a beating. Natalie and the remotes arrived just in time.

"Geez ... he's strong." Bucky whipped his brow.

The remotes and Bucky held Steve down on the floor.

"The remotes can fly him back to Solaris." Nat said.

"Let's do a tricorder reading and see what shape he's in first." Bucky said.

Natalie scanned Steve's body with the tricorder.

"Damn. Heart rate 170. He's dehydrated. Electrolyte imbalance. Low potassium. His blood is acidic . Let's wait for the van."

"Right."

****

Steve and Trine went through the same ordeal as Bucky and Nat. They recovered quickly. Tony took more time. He had no super soldier serum. The Androgyns held Pepper on the ship. They covered her in liquid ILLUMINE that could re-generate some entities for sometime but they were not hopeful. They had nothing to lose by the endeavor.

****

The year that followed held many trials for the Avengers. A public reaction and a government outcry at the BLISS disaster and the seven deaths incurred. It could have been so much worse. It could have been a devastation. Tony was locked in a guilt vortex, over Pepper, very similar to Bucky's. Tony spent a lot of time with him. He understood what Tony was going through. Dandalo was a frequent visitor.

The physical and psychological stress and damage from the BLISS ordeal affected Bucky and Natalie's relationship. They were traumatized. Touch was the bedrock of their relationship. They touched to comfort each other: touched to groom each other, touch to nurture each other, touch to show love, to heal, to support. They touched for sex. Now, touch had been dirtied, soiled, spoiled in someway. Touch meant some other thing, something dark, something disturbed and scary. Something that could cause death. The image of Pepper Potts loomed in their bed. They looked at each other suspiciously and wondered if their touch would harm the other. 

Buck was more than willing to suffer along with Tony in his grief over Pepper. He was drug by Tony's grief to where the roots of his own guilt lived. His grief over the atrocities he committed bloomed in him. Where once his guilt had been kept dormant by the sunshine of Natalie and Steve's love, the nurturing acceptance of Bruce and Tony and the joy of having Nova: his guilt rose in him like a fast growing fungus that tentacled into his psyche. He was happy to suffer again for his crimes. It was what he thought he deserved. He went with it.

Natalie was not happy to suffer again. Being given Nova, to her, was a for sure sign she could be redeemed. After all, she was a child when her odyssey began. She had Bucky now; she had her lost love. She dreamed of the days, not so long ago, when his arousal fulfilled itself just by a look from her, a glance, or a casual touch. Her own desire was stamped out like a campfire at dawn. She felt hollow like she would never again to be filled by the silky - by the hard and soft together - of him. They laid on the bed together and stared at the ever-changing ceiling motif: one after another, after another.

"I'm going to shower," he said.

"Yeah. Sure. Why don't you," she said.

Buck stripped and stepped into the spa shower. He turned on all the showerheads. He did not move. He let the powerful force of the water hit his body. He hoped being hit by the water would wake him up or jar him out of whatever he was in. He imagined the water might wash away the barrier that stood between him and Natalie. He shut his eyes. He let his mind wander; for Bucky that's not always a good thing. What if, how he felt was a side effect of the BLISS? No one lived after being infected by BLISS. Maybe it was like the depression after a coke binge: he'd read all about that. Maybe it was something that would fade in time; something he could get over. But that's not how he felt. He glanced at his flaccid penis. He could not remember the last time he'd seen it look that way. He turned the water hotter. The booth steamed up and the glass fogged over. His mind fogged over. An image of a killing flashed into his mind. He jerked his head and said, "oh no." He tried to focus on something else but another flash - holding a body and the last shutter before death. 

"No. Not again." His voice rumbled in the steaming hot water.

"Who are you talking to?" Natalie's voice came from inside the spa. He had not heard the door open.

"I… No one." He could not see her. She brushed up against him.

"Natalie don't - "

"It may be okay. The water will be friction between us." She touch the small of his back. He shut his eyes and forced himself not to pull away.

"I'll wash you. That's non-threatening ... isn't it?"

"Wash me." 

He spread his arms and legs.

She lathered up her hands and started with his face. The soap and water did make a barrier between them. Bucky relaxed. She washed his hair. He stood like a statue. She washed his neck and arms and chest. Her hand slid up and down his back, over his ass in between his butt cheeks. He flashed an image of a dead body laying at his feet. She slid her soapy hands between his legs and down his thighs. She ran her hand up the sides of his hips and waist and up his flank and under his arms. He raised his arms like a child whose mother is taking off his shirt. She watched his chest rise and fall.

"Almost done." She finish the job with this feet. She stayed on her knees in front of him and ran her hands up his muscular calves and thighs. She buried her face in his thighs and licked and kissed and sucked at them. One of her soapy hands slid to his ass and the other to his groin.

"Natalie, I don't want you to do this."

"Just making sure your squeaky clean." She mumbled in her seductive smoky voice.

"I mean it. Stop."

"You're joking… Right?"

Buck found he had completely lost his sense of humor. Too late.

"Oh… Oh." His hand squeaked back-and-forth over the glass. His shoulder slid against the glass door. His back arched.

"Natalie… Stop," he whispered.

"Don't you want to feel good?" She rubbed both hands on his butt cheeks and pushed his front into her face. 

"No," he said.

She must have left the door open a bit because the steam dissipated and he could see her form but no details. He reached for her. He touched her shoulders. His hand brushed the scar on her throat; his thumb circled it feeling the bumps. His hand brushed the scar on her shoulder. He could not see the scar but he had felt it so many times he knew each ridge and indentation like Cobar knew the outback. His hand went right to it like a magnet. He felt the scars injected him with something. He tasted blood in his mouth. He flash to a street scene: the sound of distant sirens, explosions, the crack of bullets; the voice of the shooter speaking Russian; the reflection of a metal arm. He dropped his hands to his side. He could hear his heart (like screams) pounding in his ear. The next thing he knew he was lying on the bed staring at the ceiling. He heard Natalie breathing beside him. He heard Nova shuffle around in her bed next to him making her baby noises. All the motifs were off the ceiling. The inlet water simmered and reflected on the ceiling. He watched the patterns swirl and twinkle. His open palms hovered over, and ran up and down, his massive erection.

"Oh," he moaned.

He stepped out of the bed strategically, removing pressure from his body on the mattress, careful not to wake Natalie. He leaned on the door of his closet and stared at his clothing inside. He dressed in heavy socks and Under armour boxers with matching undershirt which he tucked into the boxers. He slid on new cold-weather slacks and a long sleeve over shirt. His movements were measured and deliberate. He picked the biggest blackest backpack. He packed it with extra underwear, socks, T-shirts, lightweight slacks and a hooded sweatshirt. He put on a windbreaker, running shoes and a watch - all in black. He threw in some sunglasses, hat and a retractable pocket knife. He stuck a pair of glove liners into the parkas pockets. He stared straight ahead and turned toward the bed. Natalie slept soundly. Nova stood up in her crib hanging on the side rail looking at him with huge eyes, eyes that seemed to know everything, eyes that spoke words: 'I know what you're doing. 'I know what you're thinking', he heard clear as day. Both Nova's hands and her mouth gripped the side of the rail. She chopped on the bar. Bucky looked at her but did not see her. His eyes focused on the open balcony door. He slip the backpack over his shoulders, bounded the 3 steps to the balcony, griped the balcony railing with his metal arm and pole vaulted over the side. He fell the three stories. He sailed with his arm stretched out for balance and landed like a cat. He hit the ground and ran. He ran along the bank of the estuary heading inland.

Nova cocked her head and watched out the balcony door. She pointed her tiny finger at the door and made squeaky noises. About an hour later her mother woke.

"What are you doing awake?" Natalie said to Nova in baby talk. Nova squeaked, took her finger out of her mouth and pointed to the balcony door.

"Is Daddy out there?" Natalie walked out to the balcony.

"No Daddy."

Water filled in Nova's eyes, and like a geyser, spilled over. Her mother picked her up. She alternated her finger from her mouth to pointing out the balcony.

"Let's look for Daddy in the spa." They checked the bath, no Bucky. Natalie glanced at the time: 3 AM. She checked Bucky's sleepwalking alarm on the front door: all in the green. She noticed the open closet - the messed up clothes - the stray sock on the floor. Bucky's cell phone was on the bedside stand. She touch the intercom to the kitchen.

"Bucky? Bucky?" 

No answer.

She turned on the computer and check the hall surveillance camera. She went back, 2 AM, 1 AM, 12 midnight, 11… 10… 9… No one had left the room. Natalie was hit with a small surge of adrenaline.

Nova burst from the womb of her mother but she was still connected by an emotional umbilical cord. Nova started to cry nonstop. She pointed with her whole arm to the balcony.

Natalie turned on all the lights. This was the moment. The exact moment. This is what she does. This is what she is. This is exactly what she was born to be. She snapped professional. She searched every area of the room, the bath and balcony for clues. Nova escalated into a full-blown hysterics. She fought her mother and reached with her whole body for the balcony. Natalie called Tony.

****

Bucky ran. He ran at a comfortable pace. He did not have a thought in his head or an expression on his face. A blank slate. There was no voice in his head dissenting to his actions. There was only movement. There was no way to tell how long he could run. He could run indefinitely. He ran until he exhausted all his glucose stores. He sat on a bench in some small coastal town, faced east and watched the sun. The sun rose like the dawn of mankind. He watched, as if, for the first time. He drank from a fountain. He watch a Robin sit on the branch flipping back and forth from east to west as if the bird couldn't decide which way to look. The bird was free to go anywhere it pleased. He watched the sun dance on the leaves of a tree. He felt his body tingle and pulse with a runner's high. The sweet California air surround his skin and blew through his hair like the hand of God - it felt so good. He felt no pain. He had no thoughts. He had no money. No home. No name. No country. No words. He came from nowhere and was headed nowhere. He did have one thing. He had a feeling. The feeling of freedom. Like the Robin, he looked to the east, he looked to the west and he ran south. He stopped at sunset. After that he wandered from town to town. He had little in his head: 'go' when the sun rose, 'stop' when the sun set. Once, it entered his mind how much food there was laying around. 

At dusk on the third day he wandered into a strip mall with a Dairy Queen. A family walked away from a table full of food. The children practically ate nothing. Bucky ate two whole hotdog, french fries and half a chocolate milkshake. Of course, the kids didn't drink their milk. The milk carton was not even opened. He drank that too. He cleaned up the table and put the paper in the trash wastebasket. He watched the sunset and looked around for a place to sleep. The lights were still on at one store in the strip mall and he wandered to the light. The store was decorated with Christmas lights and a neon Santa on the front door. Santa's head and hand bobbed up and down and said ho ho ho. Christmas music played along the strip mall sidewalk. Customers pulled their cars in and out of the parking lot. Some of the stores were closing. Bucky looked at the other neon signs in the store window: Used Books, Records, CDs, DVDs, Video games, Collectibles - all in bright neon letters. A sign on the door said OPEN. He went in. It was warm and smelled good. The store smelled like an old book. There was no Christmas music playing inside but rock music he had never heard before. He glanced at the newspaper rack: December 23. He ran his hand over his three day growth of beard. He had a thought about the date. 'So, that's why it's so cold at night'.

Aimless, he strolled the isles. The store was full of people who talked and interacted with each other and the store clerks. Everyone seemed excited about something. Bucky lingered at the albums, starred at the covers and flipped through the stacks. Nothing looked familiar. He passed the rows of movies and went to the book department: the smell there was the best part. He picked up a book that had a drawing of man in space suits on the foreground and a spaceship flying past a red planet in the background. "The Crack in Space": Find another world for the deep-freeze people, by Philip K. Dick, the cover read. 'Deep-freeze people?' He looked at the price $.40. He ran his hand over the plastic sleeve and took the book to check out. The girl behind the counter look him in the eye, smiled, nodded and looked away. In all earnestness Bucky said:

"Is this book $.40?" Astonished at the sound of his own voice – he had not spoken for three days. The girl handled the book and check the back: $15.99 the price read. She looked at Bucky's hopeful face.

"Yes. $.40," she said.

Her coworker nugged her. She shoved him away and whispered to him "I'll pay for it."

"Are you crazy?" her coworker said.

Bucky fumbled around, smiled at the people behind him in line and found some coins here and there in his pockets. He handed them to the girl. She counted out $.26 and rang it up.

"Here you go."

"Do you want the plastic? You can use it for another book."   
Bucky said this with such thoughtful caring, such sweetness in his voice, the girl's mouth dropped open.

"Uh… Yeah… Yes. Thank you."

Buck took the plastic off the book. The old paper smelled as good as a Christmas dinner. He slid along the counter and saw a jar of pens with the store name on the side.

"Can I use this pen?" he asked.

"You can have that pen. They're free advertising," the clerk answered.

He opened the first page, started to write his name and stopped. He thought and thought but the words never came.

****

"Why did you do that?" The clerk whispered to the girl.

"It's Christmas… Didn't you see him? I don't know...I've never seen anyone that ... tragically handsome."

"Looks like a nutcase to me."

****

Buck took his book, the receipt and his pen, and headed for the door. He stopped for a family lingering in front of the door organizing packages and kids. He held the door for them: a mother, a father and four kids, the youngest a girl.

"Papa, look it's Jesus," the little girl said and pointed at Bucky.

"Sorry," her father said.

Bucky held the door and smiled at each person as they trailed out the door.

"Hurry up. Come on. Keep moving," the father said.

"No worries. I'm in no hurry," Bucky said.

"Why couldn't I have the game?" a kid asked.

"You have enough. Move. The man's waiting."

The family got through the door only to have a kid go the wrong way and another kid drop all the packages he carried.

"Sorry again," the father said. 

Christmas music took over the atmosphere of the sidewalk. 

"Mama look it's Jesus."

"No. It's just a nice man," the mother said.

The family walked down the sidewalk. They walk slowly shuffling packages and kids around - everyone talked at once. Buck smiled and followed along. The smallest boy was bumped off the sidewalk into the street just as a car pulled out. Like lightning, Buck grab the kid and pulled him onto the sidewalk. The car brakes squealed.

"Thanks friend," the father said to Buck.   
He grabbed his kid and said: "Keep hold of my hand." 

They continued to cross the parking lot. Bucky followed. He watched as they piled into their car: the father, mother, and the little girl in the front seat; three boys in the back. Bucky leaned against the lamp post holding his book. The lights from the strip mall went dark as the last store closed for the night. The parking lot was suddenly dark and empty. Bucky, still smiling, felt some rain drops fall on his face and head. He held up his hand at the kids catching the rain.

"Jesus is standing in the rain Papa," the little girl said. 

The mother turned to the father and said: "Ask him if he needs a ride."

"Come on… he's a grown-up man."

"There's not another car in the parking lot." 

It was true, theirs was the only car. The family sat motionless in the car.

"This mall is 15 miles from town."

It was true. It looked black all around.

"Okay." The father got out of the car. "Hey, do you need a ride?"

Bucky smiled and shook his head yes and jumped into the back with the boys.

"Where to?"

"Wherever you're going - I can walk from anywhere."

They pulled in the drive and they all went into the house leaving Bucky standing by the car smiling at the family. The mother and father stood in the doorway with the door open looking out at the wind, the night, the cold and that son of a bitch Jesus standing in the rain.

"Do you think he needs a doctor?"

"He is out of it." The father walked out to Bucky by the car. He didn't even know enough to get out of the rain.

"Are you okay? Do you need help?"

Buck smiled and shook his head yes.

"What's your name?"

"Ba...da..."

"Bud? Okay Bud my name is Ramon Navarro. That's my wife Annalisa. I'm going in now. Thank you for pulling my kid off the street."

Bucky stuck his book in his waistband and zipped up his jacket. He pulled the hood up and looked at the lights in the Navarro home.

"Look Bud – do you want to come in and call someone for a ride?"

Buck smiled and shook his head yes.

The kids turned on the TV and played around with their movies, books and games. Bud sat with them. Ramon and Annalisa went into the kitchen.

"He came in with me." Ramon said.

"Oh dear. Do you think he's drugged or drunk or homeless?"

"I don't think so. Did you see the clothes he has on? Hundreds of dollars of high end stuff - new shoes – he's no bum but he doesn't even seem to know his own name. He told me his name was Bud."

"His name is not Bud."

Ramon nodded to her and glanced into the living room. The kids played with Bucky. The boy that Bucky pulled from the street sat on his lap the little girl brought him a stream of stuffed animals.

"Hey Buddy, do you have anything in your pockets?" Ramon called from the kitchen.

Buck jumped from the sofa and came into the kitchen. He plopped his backpack on the table and unpacked, putting his clothes in neat little piles. He laid his book and hat on the table. He emptied his pockets: half a candy bar, a few coins (mainly pennies), lint; a crumpled up piece of paper, a gum wrapper; a pen and a keychain with no key, sunglasses. Buck took off his jacket and started to take off his shoes.

"Stop! Bud! This isn't jail." Ramon said and uncrumpled the piece of paper. It was the receipt for Buck's book. Ramon held it up for Annalisa to see - no clue there.

"Do you have anyone to call?" Ramon asked.

Buck smiled and shook his head yes. Ramon handed him his cell phone and Buck stared at it like he had never seen anything like it before.

"Would you like to stay for dinner?" Annalisa said. 

Ramon shot her a look. 

Buck smiled and shook his head yes.

"Can you go into the living room and keep my kids from killing eachother and my wife and I will make dinner?"

Buck smiled and shook his head yes.

They ate a lot of food. Buck carried his dishes to the sink and all four kids followed his lead. Ramon threw his hands up in the air.

"I've been trying to get them to do that for years." Ramon laughed.

Buck, with a trail of kids, carried more dishes to the kitchen. He laughed not knowing why he was laughing. 

The family settled in the living room: Ramon in the La-Z-Boy, Annalisa on one end of the sofa, Buck on the other end with various kids between them at various times. The kids were put to bed by age until all that remained were the three adults. They watched an R-rated movie in Spanish. Ramon and Annalisa gave each other knowing looks when they discovered their strange houseguest understood every word of the movie.

Annalisa leaned over the end of the table and got her husbands attention.

"Look, he's falling asleep. What are we going to do? Do you think he's been in jail? He was going to do a strip search."

"No. He's got manicured fingernails for chrissakes."

"The war?"

"Could be ... but what war? He doesn't look old enough. He belongs to someone. He has people. We'll call in the morning and see if he's a missing person."

"We can't attract attention to ourselves," she whispered.

"Yeah, yeah - look. How about this? I'll sleep here in the La-Z-Boy. I have to get up in four hours anyway. You go to bed and lock the door. I'll take him to work with me."

"Fitz Carlo's still working with you?"

"Yes."

"Isn't he a psychologist in the old country? Maybe he could take a look at him."

Ramon nodded his head. "I'll make sure that happens. Fitz Carlo always has ideas."

****

Back at Solaris frantic efforts were underway to locate Bucky. The DNA tracker lost his trail, probably from a very windy rainy day and the fact that his trail was so erratic. They could not notify the authorities.

"Rogers, when you guys go out the backdoor to run what way does he look first?"

"South. Always south."

"Natalie, when you sit on the balcony what way does he face? In land? Ocean?"

"South. He sits facing south."

"Then we go south."

They searched by hand, door to door, store to store, business to business carrying a picture.

****

Bucky worked for three days without incident at Ramon's landscaping business. He took off his shirt like the other men and got down on his hands and knees and worked. He worked like a machine. He never seemed to tire. 

Fitz Carlo, on the job trained Bucky, ate with him and spent time with him after work. He told Ramon he did not feel 'Bud' was dangerous, but felt it was obvious to anyone with any training, 'Bud' was experiencing some kind of breakdown and had a serious mental impairment. Bucky rarely spoke and answered all questions with a smile and a 'yes' to all request.

There were some odd incidents. Obvious deep teeth marks were noticed festering on Bucky's arm. When asked about it he shrugged and said, 'I don't know.'

One day Fitz Carlo found Bucky washing his hands in a mud puddle.

"What are you doing?"

"Washing my hands."

"That's a mud puddle."

"What?" Buck jerked his hand out of the mud puddle like he was electrocuted.

"Come on Buddy."

Another day, Bucky played outback with the kids and the oldest boy ran into Ramon saying Bucky was hitting himself with the flyswatter and would not stop. Ramon had to physically take the flyswatter away from him.

Late on the fourth day, Buck was edging with Moss Rose along a walkway and Ramon worked close to him with a shovel. Accidentally, Ramon hit Bucky's left arm with the shovel. A metal clang rang out like a bell ringing an alert to the world. Ramon hit the arm again and step back. 

Buck went into flight or fight mode and his cybernetic arm turned metal for everyone to see. Buck stood and watched his metal fingers fold into a fist. Unable to control; his pupils dilated to black. He grabbed his arm in shame and tried to hide it under his human arm. 

Ramon was paralyzed with fear but managed to fall back a few steps.

"I won't hurt you. I swear, I won't hurt you." Bucky closed his eyes.

Ramon dropped the shovel. He untied the hoodie from around his waist and handed it to Bucky. Buck glanced around to see if anyone else saw and he slipped in to it.

Ramon held his hands palms up. "It's okay man, it's okay. I won't expose you. But we have to talk to Fitz Carlo about this. We have to get you back to your people."

"My people?"

"Yes. Your loved ones."

"My loved ones?"

"Yes we know you have loved ones."

****

Fitz Carlos said: "Sure. My nephew Brad works on some guy's solar panels up north of Malibu. He has a electrical technician who has a metal prosthetic arm."

"Call him." Ramon said.

****

Two days later Tony, Natalie and Steve pulled up in front of the Navarro home. They came in quietly, naturally, and hung around the kitchen. Tony, with great astuteness, evaluated the situation and knew by instinct Ramon Navarro was not a person he could just throw money at as a reward. Instead he offered Ramon a job.

Bucky and the kids played in the backyard. Natalie stood at the back door and looked at him. He saw her and stopped. She stepped onto the porch and he backed up. She stopped. He scanned the environment. He could easily jump the fence, but he could not take his eyes off her. He stepped forward. Called by an ancient magnetizing force he found himself at the bottom of the steps looking up at her; looking into her, looking through her, their lives together opened a door in his mind.

"I shot you... I shot you twice," he blurted out. "I bit you. Every scar you have… I did."

The kids stopped their play, they had not heard emotion like that in Bucky's voice. Even the youngest stared at his face that had been like a mask since they met him.

Steve stepped out to the porch. Steve and Bucky glanced at each other.

"It was me Steve. I'm the one that tried to kill her."

Natalie stepped down a few steps.

He looked right at her. "I did it. I hurt you."

Nat step down to the landing. She touched him only with her gaze.

"They're just scars, Angel. Just scars."

He stepped into a vortex and was transported lightyears at light speed into her arms. 

She whispered in his ear, "will you forgive me about the shower?"

He pulled back and looked her in the eye. "Shower?" He scanned his mind for something about a shower. What's the use. He didn't remember. "I'm the one to beg you for forgiveness."

She pulled him close again. This time she put her lips on him.. "Will you come home with me?"

Steve came down the steps halfway.

"I'm ready now... " Buck glanced at Steve. "Wait a minute." 

Bucky gathered the kids around him. He picked up the little girl.

"There's someone I want you to meet."

"Is that Mrs. Buddy?" Her child's voice tinkled in the air in a familiar way.

"Yes it is. We have a little girl like you. Would you like to come play with her someday?"

Steve came down the rest of the steps. He put his hand on Bucky shoulder. "Are you gonna run?"

"No, I'm not going to run." 

****

To this day Ramon Navarro does not know why he confessed to Tony that he was in America on an expired visa. Annalisa dropped a dish on the floor on that note.

Tony sat at the kitchen table relating the details of Ramon's new job. He pulled the kitchen window curtain back and watched the landing and Bucky, Natalie and Steve on the stairs.

"We have to do something about your legal status. No problem. I know a guy."

Ramon's face held the expression of a lottery winner.

Tony came down the steps just in time to hear Bucky's invitation to the little girl.

"How about tomorrow?" Tony said. "Come for Nova's birthday party. It would be a good transition. I'll send the car." Tony didn't wait for an acceptance. He knew it was a great idea.

Bucky made it to the car and then he got out of the car, bolted and ran.

"Damnit, Bucky!" Steve yelled.

"I forgot my book," Buck explained.

Tony and Ramon stood at the door going over last minute details. Bucky stopped at the door with his book.

"Are you really Ramon Navarro?" Buck said to Ramon.

"I get that all the time."

"You look just like him, man." Tony said showing his classic Hollywood chops.

Ramon really did: thick curly hair, classic aquiline nose, easy smile, handsome, bright eyes.

"Thank you man."

"See you tomorrow."

****

That night at Solaris: after Bruce examined Bucky, after dinner, after the briefing, after Nova was in bed asleep, Bucky and Nat laid on the bed together. Things were not back to normal but they touched and that was the start. She watched him. Her eyes never left him. He laid on his back and stared at the ceiling - never a good sign. He rolled to his side and looked into her eyes as long as he could before feelings swelled up in him and he rolled to his back and stared at the ceiling. She felt him drift away from her: from the room, from Solaris. She never asked him what he was thinking. Natalia Romanova was not the kind of girl to ever ask a man what he was thinking about. Men were thinking about what she wanted them to be thinking about. But this fugue. This thing that happened to Bucky. She was breaking down. She had to know.

"You seem a million miles away." She skirted the issue. 

He blinked his eyes and that was all. She pressed forward. "What going on with you? Bruce said you must talk." 

He nodded his head. "I don't like being inside anymore."

It did seem stuffy in the therapeutic room. She got up and open the balcony doors wide. The night air filled the room but it did not loosen up Bucky's ability to share.

"What else is on your mind?"

"I don't want Nova to be inside anymore either," he said but stopped and would not go any further.

"What are you thinking about?" There it was – she said it.

"The future." he answered and rolled on his side, curled his knees up and rested his arm on them.

"Your future?"

"Yes. My future, your future, Nova's future."

"If you could have any future - what would you want to do?" She made a game of it.

"I was thinking about Alyosha."

"What?"

"Not like that. I was thinking about what he's doing… you know… helping. I don't know… It was like a daydream. It was all over the place."

She got comfortable on her side, looked interested and said: "Go on."

"Well," Bucky propped his head on his elbow. "What Alyosha is doing is kinda incomplete. What if… what if somebody could send data from the past? What if someone had hard data from modern equipment and sent it to the future ... to now? What could Tony do with that? Tony would have a complete picture."

"Like somewhere on the coast where we are now?" Nat smiled.

"Yeah. Say around 1947 or so, or 1948 even… Open a little shop, as a front and do the research in the basement like... like the Office of Scientific Investigation. Ah… it was a crazy movie. You probably didn't see it. But we could take actual jobs - try to solve problems using our advanced equipment - using modern science."

Natalie laughed.

"I told you it was silly."

"Actually it's not. We'd be successful."

"Yeah, we could't miss. We could help in a legitimate way."

"Go on."

"And Nova? This is the best part… " the twinkle cane back to Bucky's eyes. "Nova would have a yard to play in ... outside. She'd have the ocean to swim in... an ocean she can actually go in. She could learn to surf. I can see it now. She'd live in a real neighborhood. Have kids to play with. A sidewalk where she could jump rope and roller skate - she'd go to a real school ... and you? You'd have a home."

He played with her hair. Their knees touched. They looked closely at each other. She thought of the year they spent in the 60s. How he was. What it was like there. She ran her thumb over his wrinkled stressed-out brow. She wanted that carefree surfer back in her life: that handsome man that stood on the beach with the surf blowing his hair and a big smile on his face.Their minds exploded with images. Thanksgiving dinners, dressing Nova for Halloween, school plays and the surf… Always the surf… The feel of the surf… The silky pleasure of the surf.

"And what would you do?" she said.

"Wear baggy suits and a fedora," he answered.

They laughed and kissed and petted each other. Their bodies relaxed with each other and they forgot all about Bucky's daydream.

****

Excitement was high throughout Solaris for Nova's second birthday party that afternoon. Tony sent a courier for the Navarro's. He moved Nova's toys from her safe room to the big living room with the oversize fireplace and the kids went wild. Rose (Ramon and Annalisa's youngest) was two years older than Nova but they bonded right off. Rose protected Nova from being over run by her three brothers, David the oldest, Daniel, and Martin the youngest. The sounds of children running and playing and screaming bounced off all the glass in the living room and the adults could not hear each other talk. They loved the whole event: balloons and party favors, a piñata, cake, ice cream and candy, games and bouncy music. The general consensus was a party Nova would never forget. A late dinner was served that no kid ate. The kids were running on a sugar high and their skin glistened with perspiration, their faces flushed with pink, their pupils as huge as full moons. Nova was beyond herself with excitement. Bucky picked her up and gave her a bottle of high protein milk. She rarely drink from a bottle anymore - not because she didn't want to be held and suck the white wonder. Ramon picked up Rose and tried to get some protein into her. Steve and Trine took the two older boys and sat with them to play a game. Annalisa picked up Martin who, at age six, was not used to sitting on his mother, but he gave in and cuddled with her. 

Nat talked with Tony and Bruce in the corner of the room with serious looks on their faces. 

The Navarro family packed into the car and were chauffeured home. The hum of the car engine lulled the kids to sleep. 

Bucky sat on the sofa facing the fireplace with Nova, now relaxed, taking the last of her bottle. 

Steve and Trine wandered to the fireplace. Tony stood by the hearth.

"Let's organize ourselves and have an impromptu meeting about the formation of the Office of Scientific Investigation."

Bucky's mouth dropped open and he stared at Natalie.

"Hey, I had to tell him, Angel. It's such a good idea."

"But…"

"And it's exactly what we're going to do." Tony said.

"What?"

Tony waved his arms around 90°. "What does Picard say? Make it so." Tony slapped his hands together. "We're starting the transfer process immediately."

"I can't believe this." Bucky said. The bottle fell out of Nova's mouth and she looked as puzzled as her father.

"Banner and I will get the equipment we need." Tony turned to Bucky Barnes. "You gotta accept this. It's a done deal. Solves so many problems. It's brilliant!" Tony command the room. "Steve and Bucky will scout a building big enough for our needs. It will probably take a year for Banner and I to get everything set up."

"You mean you're going to spend a year with us back there?" Bucky blubbered.

"Yes! I'm so damn jealous of the time you spent back there." Tony jumped with pleasure at the thought.

"One year? You'll be a good surfer by then, Tony." Bucky smiled at last.

"After that year you'll be on your own. How long do you think your investigation will take?"

"For Nova sake, about 10 years." Natalie said.

"10 years it is then – let's get moving."

Buck rubbed Nova's crayon yellow hair and her eyes drifted shut. He stuck the bottle in her mouth and she sucked at the empty bottle reflexively.

"Don't be mad at me, Angel," Nat said. "I want her to have a normal childhood. I had to tell them. You never would."

"I never would have asked." Buck admitted that much.

Steve sat by Bucky and slapped him on the knee.

"Well, buddy, looks like we're off on another adventure."

"What about Trine?"

"She's coming with us." Steve never looked happier. He hated this shit hole future as much as anyone. He dreamed of the clear waters every night without fail.

Bucky held Nova tight and stroked her sweaty head. "What a life you're going to have."

****

And so it came to pass. They picked the year 1948. Steve and Bucky found a new construction three flat right on the beach, not in Malibu: there was nothing in Malibu in 1948. The three flat was in Venice Beach, California. Three-story, flat roof, three storefronts. Nine apartments and a full basement or three more apartments. The back door out the kitchens lead to the sand and the beach 300 feet away. A concrete patio separated the three apartments. They took out the partitions and had one big patio. They put up a huge colorful awning. Stairs went to the roof and Bucky took over the whole roof area. He built a vegetable garden in boxes. The City Water was like nothing they ever tasted and Bucky ran a water pipe to the reinforced roof. The garden yielded produce all year around. There was a large porch with stone steps on the front of the three flat that lead to a sidewalk only the length of the building. There was nothing else out there yet. A few blocks down the road was a small downtown with stores, a post office, a movie theater, a school and other businesses. There was a boardwalk, marina and a long pier. Fishing boats went out each day and came back with the catch that was sold at the market by the pier. 

The first thing Tony did was to buy up the lots on either side of the building. He had ideas for the future. 

The surfing was magnificent. 

Tony, Bruce and Bucky worked at night to build the lab in the basement. The colorful awnings and greenhouse roof above the garden were actually Tony designed solar power collectors. The local electricity was dirt cheap in 1948 but Tony's need for power was greater than even public utility could provide.

Tony transformed in months. He relaxed. He slept eight hours a night. He looked 10 years younger. His tan was deeper and more glowing than any other. He loved surfing. He refused to talk about going back to the future.

Banner was right behind him showing the therapeutic affects of great food, exercise and no stress.

They grilled fish on the patio and ate from the garden every night. Steve was so happy he took up an old hobby he had in his youth: drawing and painting. His sketches were all over the apartments. 

Nova learned to swim in two months. 

They used the middle storefront to set up the Office of Scientific Investigation. They needed a telephone. In those days you had to have an ID to get a phone. As luck, chance, or circumstance would have it, when Bucky's father died his mother felt the family needed a telephone. She put the phone in the name of James Buchanan Barnes. Bell telephone had a record of this event and Bucky was able to get a phone for the office. 

Bucky and Natalie took the apartment directly behind the office put the stairway through to the apartment directly above and Natalie made a home. They used the downstair apartment for the living room, dining room, kitchen and laundry and the second story apartment for the bedrooms and a playroom for Nova. They could see Nova playing on the patio from the kitchen window framed by the grand Pacific ocean.

Steve and Trine took the whole third floor and made one big apartment for themselves and all Trine's medical research material. Steve took a small bedroom as a studio for his art supplies. His art studio had a stairway to the roof and he made an en plein air painting area to do watercolors of the ocean and the sunsets.

All construction material waste had to go through Bucky. He built a fire pit and barbecue by the patio. He made decorative planters that looked like fish and turtles, sculptures that looks like palm trees and wind chimes that looked like sea birds hung from the canopy. 

Tony liked the apartment behind storefront number one and Bruce took the apartment behind storefront number three. That left two apartments on the second floor for office space, storage and guests. Tony built a four story radio antenna up the side of the building that doubled as a weather station. They listened to radio stations from Los Angeles on the back patio at night.

The time travelers enjoy shopping for 1948 clothing. Things were much simpler in this area. Men owned two pairs of shoes, a good suit and an every day suit usually in blue or gray. They own two or three ties, two or three white shirts. Black socks and white boxers. Men wore white T-shirts. Women had a few everyday dresses, a skirt and blouse or two, every day shoes and good shoes: usually black pumps. If they were lucky they had a good suit, skirt and jacket. They owned a sweater or two and everyone owned a trenchcoat. Men and women wore hats. Everyone had a watch on their wrist and a wallet in their pocket. 

Natalie bought a blue suit, three-piece: jacket, skirt and trousers with cuffs. She had a white lace blouse and a blue leather purse. She had a large compact in the purse and a tube of red lipstick, white gloves, and a cloth square called a handkerchief. She had silk hose with the seam up the back. She didn't like the hose and she preferred to wear white cotton anklets with mary jane shoes and a casual skirt and blouse. She bobbed her hair.

Even Bucky cut his hair: collar length in the back and straight off chin length in the front. He used a side part and pulled his hair behind his ears where his hair curled neatly around his ear making a little nest - this showed off his handsome jawline. His hair fell into his face frequently.

In those days everyone smoked cigarettes. No Avenger took up that habit.

A normal day went like this: crack of dawn - surfing. Next, food and lots of it. The core family, Bucky, Natalie and Steve and Nova tended the garden on the roof. Tony, Banner and Trine worked in the lab setting up all the scientific monitoring equipment and running experiments. The core family join them in the lab. In the afternoon there was a siesta while Nova took a nap. The adults took a break too and casually surfed, swam or laid around on the beach and played.

Natalie's found object jewelry from the 60s expanded and she searched the beach and decorated their home with seashells, driftwood, starfish. Bowls of shiny pebbles sat around the house.

Steve sketched on the beach. 

Bucky and Tony built elaborate sand structures for their own pleasure: both overachievers, the castles were so stunning towns people walked down the beach to see them.

Bruce's favorite afternoon activity was to sleep on the beach under a beach umbrella.

Steve's sketches progressed to sketching in ink on watercolor paper and painting light washes of color over the images. His work was on the walls of everyone's apartment. 

They all worked a few more hours in the afternoon at what they called the 'evening session' setting up the Office of Scientific Investigation. At sunset they surfed again. Most evenings after dinner the crew dressed in what Natalie called their costumes and strolled to town to the local movie house where you could see two news reels, a serial, four cartoons, two feature movies for $.35, or they window shopped. They frequented the shops along the boardwalk or ate ice cream.

Soon the Office of Scientific Investigation was set up and open for business. Bucky put ads in the Los Angeles and San Diego papers. The public did not get that the Office of Scientific Investigation was investigation using the scientific method, they just assumed they were private eyes. People showed up at the office or called on the phone. There were no real office hours and Tony devised a phone alert that blasted on to the beach each time the phone rang or the office door open. Someone, usually Bucky or Natalie would run in and take care of business. It was a good life. And unbelievably sweet existence.

By chance, Natalie was in the office when the OSI got their first client.

A young woman dressed in the customary blue suit walked in the office door. She had on white gloves, a flower in her lapel and a hat that was more or less just a big flower. She was a pretty girl. She spoke:

"My name is Sylvia Patt and I wish it wasn't."

Natalie took on an official air - sat behind the desk - picked up a pen and started writing. "Go on," she said.

"I've been married two years and my husband doesn't come home at night." Sylvia took a handkerchief out of her purse and cried into it.

"We have no children. I'm a trained stenographer and I want to go home. I want to get a job and start over. I want a divorce."

"And he won't cooperate. Right? So you need proof."

"Yes ... that's it exactly."

"Okay. Seems easy enough. An operative will follow your husband and we will get the proof you need."

"You will ... yourself ... do the job?"

Natalie smiled big. She couldn't wait to nail the bastard.

"We have three operatives - two men and myself – we work as a team. Buy your ticket home. We will make quick work of this deal. Now don't you worry and quit crying. We'll have pictures for you very soon."

"Pictures?" Sylvia cut off the waterworks.

"Yes, we will give you hard evidence."

"How much?"

"20 now and 20 after."

"Deal."

Natalie ran out the back door waving her $20 bill at the boys on the beach.

"I want this job," she said.

"Sure ... but Steve and I will back you up." Bucky said.

"Come on. Really?"

"Obviously, you've never seen The Maltese Falcon." 

She hadn't. 

"There's no other way." Buck insisted.

The job was slick. Natalie used a drone camera that looked identical to a housefly. The guy was guilty as shit. Didn't even hide the fact he kept a young girl in her own apartment. 

Natalie framed the 2 - 20s and hung them on the office wall. Over the next weeks the calls became more frequent.

Steve took a call from the Los Angeles police department who had a fire in their lab and asked to use the OSI lab. Cap was happy to oblige and worked with the LA police on several cases.

Then, one night after Steve had called it a day and everyone was in their own apartments, Bucky ran from his apartment to answer the office phone. He turned on all the lights. The light from the neon Office of Scientific Investigation sign rang out into the foggy ocean side night. Buck put his feet on the desk and tipped back the chair taking notes on the call when the door alarm sounded and an Asian lady carrying a large basket walked into the office. Buck motioned her one minute and gestured to her to have a seat. She put the basket on a side table and sat in a wooden chair. She looked exhausted. She slouched in the chair, shut her eyes and breathed deep. The arm of the chair was the only thing holding her up. Bucky finished the call and adjusted himself to look more professional.

"Sorry for that," he said.

The lady did not move or speak. 

"Can I get you some coffee?" Buck said as he came around the desk to her side.

"Yes, yes please," she said in Russian. 

Bucky's eyelids blinked like they had been shot with electricity. He poured the coffee, held the cup in front of her, and didn't let go until she had both hands on the cup.

"Cream or sugar?" Buck said also in Russian.

"No it's fine like this." She drank and the coffee revived her.

Bucky noted her clothing. Traditional Chinese peasant and not in good repair. He rang for Natalie.

"Can you bring a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a glass of milk in here?"

Natalie brought the sandwich, did a quick assessment of the situation and pulled a chair next to the lady

"Thank you," she said in Russian. The lady ate the sandwich and drank the milk with gusto. 

Bucky sat on the desk. "Do you need to lie down?"

"No. I can go on now. Thank you. Thank you." Her head bobbed in a series of bows.

"What can we do for you?"

"Is your name James Buchanan Barnes?" She said this as a technicality: she knew who he was.

"Yes it is."

"Are you the James Buchanan Barnes, born August 10, 1917?"

"Yes again."

"Thank God." The lady put her hands over her face. "My name is Yao Ming, I have worked for the Russian government since I finished college in China." She held up her cup indicating she would like a refill and Bucky filled her up.

"I worked for the eugenics division that went rogue after the war, three years ago now, with human experimentation. When the Kremlin found out about what we were doing there was a rush to destroy all experiments, all evidence that there ever was a program." She stopped and looked into Bucky and Nat's eyes. "Even the viable human experiments."

Bucky and Natalie looked at each other and were transported back to less happy days.

"I ran. I do not know how I got away. It was chaos." She covered her face again. "I could not let them destroy him."

Bucky and Natalie looked at each other and then at the basket. Something in the basket moved. Bucky walked to the side table and look in. He moved the bath towel from the top of the basket and exposed a three month old baby.

"Good God!" he exclaimed. Natalie ran to his side. Ming join them. All three looked at the child.

"That's right. James Buchanan Barnes. They made him from your DNA. I can not believe I found you." She collapsed, in tears, into Nat and Bucky's arms. Natalie held her but she could not take her eyes off the baby. Buck uncovered more of the infant.

"He's beautiful." Natalie said.

"Wait till he opens his eyes. Wait to you see his eyes. They look just like that." She pointed to Bucky's face. 

Bucky uncover the baby totally and felt his skin. His mind raced. He buzzed for Steve.

"Get a baby bottle from our kitchen ... fill it with milk... warm it… You know, like for a baby. And bring it to the office...Just do it ...now."

Natalie helped the lady to the loveseat and she laid back. Bucky picked up the baby. The baby cooed and opened his eyes and looked at him.

"Holy Christ." Bucky said in English.

Steve burst into the room with the bottle.

"I ran out of food and money yesterday." The lady cried and swooned and covered her face.

Bucky comforted himself in the roller desk chair. Tested the milk by squeezing some on his inner arm. "It's just right." Buck looked at Steve who stood with his mouth open. The baby was lethargic but he took the bottle.

"A little at a time." Natalie said.

"I know." He let the baby drink 1/4 of the bottle and took the bottle out of his mouth. He propped him on his shoulder and rubbed his back. His mind screeched back over all the decades grabbing at something to understand. His mind locked up. He stared off into space.

"What's going on here?" Steve said.

"This lady says." Nat pointed to the lady. "That this baby." Nat pointed to the baby. "Is his clone." Nat pointed to Bucky.

Steve was speechless. He turned to Bucky and put his hand on his shoulder. Bucky rallied and took the baby off his shoulder and showed him to Steve.

"Oh my," Steve said.

Bucky scooted the chair beside the lady. Nat and Cap pulled up chairs by him. He spoke to Ming.

"Was there a record of when the samples were taken form me?"

"December 12, 1943. This was the first thing, on record, that they did to you." Ming said.

Buck shot a glance at Steve. Relief was visible on Bucky's face. At least the baby was not 'spoiled'.

"Is the baby viable? Is he normal?" Buck asked.

"Yes. Another reason I could not let him be destroyed." The lady swooned.

"Bruce needs to see her," Steve said.

Ming switched to English. "I must go. They will find me. They will kill the baby."

"You're not going anywhere. The best and safest place on earth, for you right now is right here with us." Natalie said in English and repeated in Russian.

"How did you find me?" Bucky was glad for the switch to English.

"Your phone number is listed."

Steve shook his head. "I'll change that to a business phone in the morning. Come on, that's enough questions for tonight."

Steve and Natalie helped Ming to the lab, and called Tony and Bruce.

Bucky held the baby. He would never let go of this baby. He could never let go of his baby. He sat alone in the office; his mind alive with possibilities. He switched off the OSI sign. 

Steve swung back for Bucky. He stood in the doorway and looked at the far away expression in Buck's eyes and his human hand stroking the infant's cheeks.

"How do these crazy things keep happening to you?" Steve said.

Bucky came to. "This tops it." Bucky laughed. His attention fell onto the baby. "His skin…"

"Come on Buck. Bruce wants to examine the child."

"Okay sure – that's good."

The baby was soiled and unbathed for a long time. He had a bad painful looking diaper rash but not in bad shape otherwise. Natalie joked about running out to the 24 hour Walmart for some Huggies and Enfamil but they made do with a doll sleeper, cloth napkins with safety pins for diapers, one of Nova's doll baby blankets and whole milk. 

Bruce judged the baby for his strength, reflexes, vision, hearing and alertness. His cry was strong. He checked out is a normal three-month-old. Bucky did not look convinced. Bruce took blood samples. 

When the baby cried from the needle Bucky cried. He said his tears were spontaneous and uncontrollable. Silence hung in the room as the depth and breadth of what it meant to be a clone became evident and took hold. 

Buck picked up the baby and cuddled him - they both quit crying.

Ming suffered from exhaustion only. She did not even need intravenous fluids. She said she was 56 years old.

"Does the baby have a name?" Bucky said but did not look away from the babies face.

"I call him Pooch."

"Will you stay? He knows only you. I would want you to live here." Bucky didn't ask anyone.

"I am old. I am tired. I have worked 12 hours a day since I was 10 years old. I was with the baby 18 hours a day the first month of his life and 24 hours a day for the last two months on the run. I would love nothing more than to be this baby's Nanny for a while."

"I couldn't be happier to hear that." Bucky spoke but his attention was fixed on the infant. 

"Buck… Buck…?"

Bucky did not answer or look at Steve.

"Bucky!"

"He has a chance." Buck said. "He has a good chance to have a real life… A normal life… A clean life without stigma. Without guilt. The life I could never have. I swear by the, constant chaos of the cosmos, I will do everything in my power to see to it he has every chance to do just that. And ... if his association with me makes that impossible. I swear ... I'll never see him again." It crossed Bucky's mind to take the baby to his own mother. But he could not do that to her. He was confused.

"Bucky, you're overreacting." Steve said.

Try as Buck's loved ones could, no one could imagine what he was going through over this staggeringly complex life event. 

The infant became known as Klon Romanova Barnes.

****

The days passed. The sun rose and the sun set. The burgeoning life cycle of the sea and the rhythm of the waves brought things into perspective. Life went on.

Ming moved into the second-floor apartment above Tony's by Nat and Buck's. Again, the name Klon did not spontaneously roll off the tongue and the baby became known as Roman. Roman slept in Bucky and Nat's room untill a proper nursery could be designed.

Steve got a call from the LA police.

"The police chief wants to see the lab." Steve reported to the crew.

"I can have it presentable in 20 minutes." Tony said meaning he could have all the crazy, futuristic (to the locals) items out or hidden.

The chief was an older man. Short and bald, gave the impression of Louis C.K. but without any sense of humor at all.

"How did you get a set up like this?" the chief said.

"A rich benefactor who wishes to remain anonymous," Steve said. The chief bought it. Hell, it was the truth.

"Here's the deal. We are having a hard time getting funding to rebuild our lab after the fire. We would like to rent your lab."

"That's fine, but I have conditions. I come to you when you call and bring the evidence here for processing. My partners have children. This is their home plus I wouldn't have much of a business if the police ran in and out of here all day."

"Deal."

"One more thing. I'm sure the benefactor would refuse to take public monies." Cap was sure the police chief's eyes glossed over.

"Well… Sure… I don't know what to say."

"You're welcome. Got anything for today?"

"Nothing urgent. Stop by when you can." The police chief eyeballed all the extra equipment. "What's all this?"

"The benefactor's hobby is the weather. He's studying the air and water. The oceans tides. Things like that." Steve showed him the radio antenna that doubled as a weather station. The chief looked puzzled.

"He's testing the air for pollutants." Steve said.

"Pollutants?"

"Yes, like CO2 levels."

"Huh... CO2 levels?" The police chief looked dubious. Steve switched his approach.

"You know, these rich people get eccentric."

"Yeah sure." That, the police chief understood.

****

Natalie and Bucky lounged around the office. Nat rested her feet on the desk and leaned back in the wooden wheeled desk chair. She fiddled with a pencil. Buck sat cockeyed on the desk leaning on his thigh. "They've been down there a long time."

"I'm a little worried." She bit the pencil.

"Maybe I'm paranoid. How could they suspect anything?"

"Yeah, but why come here? The police chief?"

Bucky shrugged his shoulders. They heard Steve in the hall walking the police chief out. The door shut with the clinging doorbell chime. They watched with their mouths open as Steve came in and stood by the desk.

"Well, that was weird," Steve said.

"You mean were in trouble?" Nat said.

"No, to the contrary. We've just secured a years contract to do lab work for the LA Police Department."

"Why?"

"You know the fire in their lab? They can't get funding till next year. Maybe not even then. Who knows." Bucky and Nat had not seen Steve smile that big since they left what they now called the 'real world'.

"The police are going to be around here?" Bucky constantly worried one of his other crimes would surface.

"No man. Never. I pick up and drop off."

Bucky and Nat glance at each other.

"We can help." Buck and Nat nod.

"I took the case. I'll handle it."

"If it gets busy let us know." Buck said.

"Good. I have no idea how much work this could be. Let's hear about your cases. How did it go with your lady and the pictures?"

"Slick." Natalie said. "The biggest problem was transferring the pictures to 1950s paper. The husband was a louse. The girl's father came, packed her up and took her home."

Steve looked at Bucky. "Is that a blackeye?"

"Ha, yeah, the case I went on was interesting. I was hired by the mother of a 16-year-old boy with intractable violent episodes. He'd been to doctors and psychiatrists and through Juvie. She insisted there was something wrong with the boys brain. Something scientific, she said. She said that he was a good kid but he has numerous battery charges. He was expelled from a dozen schools. He hit his mother and battered his 12-year-old sister. There's nothing wrong with his IQ. I interviewed him in jail. He was restrained. I asked them to take off the restraints for the interview and the guards removed the restraints and left the room. I pulled up a chair and POW he cococked me."

"Geez, what did you do?" Steve said.

"I hit him back."

"What!" Nat's feet hit the floor with a bang.

"Buck? … Hard or soft?" Steve scunched his eyebrows together.

"I hit him pretty hard."

"Well, what then?" Cap opened his eyes wide.

"Well, then, he started crying."

"Oh God," Natalie said.

"Hard or soft?" Cap asked.

"He was crying pretty hard… It was really heartbreaking. But… He started talking. No one had ever hit him before."

"No father?"

"Killed in the war."

The expression on Natalie and Steve's face changed.

"Don't go there. He was violent before his dad went to war."

"What was the resolution?" Steve asked.

"I took custody of the boy. I don't mean physical custody, his mother has physical custody. I signed papers to have legal custody. I'm responsible for him until he's 18. His mother was glad to agree. He told me he can control. He told me he didn't know how bad it would feel to be hit like that. He told me he would never hit anyone again. I told him I would get him out of Juvie and that he was not coming back to Juvie – ever. I told him he had one chance. I told him if he could control now is the time he needs to prove he can control. Because if he hits anyone again I told him… I told him I'd mess with his brain."

"Bucky you didn't?" Natalie stood by the desk.

"Yeah, and he believed me too." Bucky laughed. "And I am serious. Maybe he can't control – if he can't - I am using the BARF machine on him. Don't be shocked... this is what the OSI is for isn't it?"

"Damn!" Steve said.

Natalie flipped around the date book on the desk. "Is that who has an appointment with you every afternoon?"

"Yep, that's him. The little shit –"

The doorbell chimed and the front door flew open simultaneously.   
A man staggered in. Steve grabbed him and Buck slid a chair to him. The man fell on to the chair. He caught his breath and sat up straight and alert. "Are you the investigators?"

"Yes. What can we do for you?"

"I want you to investigate a murder." Steve, Bucky and Nat glanced at each other. Murder was the matter for the police. Bucky's hand touched the telephone. But Natalie took out pen and paper. 

"Who was murdered?" she said.

"I was."

Bucky did call the police. They examined the man in the lab and found he had been poisoned with a luminous substance that would kill him in three or four days. He wanted to find his murderer. The police took custody of the man. But the man eluded the police and tried to find his murderer on his oun. In the end he died in a police station never knowing who killed him or why. To date, this was the strangest case the OSI was ever involved in.

****

These were the halcyon days. The days of wine and roses. The days of building something and watching it grow. The bright, sunny, warm days of endless summer. The days of love. It was an idealistic life but nothing as garish as hedonism was involved with the Avengers. Even in this utopia they were fully aware, every minute of every day, that they were doing the most important work of the 21st-century: protecting the environment. These were the days of peace. The days when Nova's laughter tinkled like the windchimes on the patio. The days of Roman's first words and his first steps. He loved fish. He love the sand. He and Nova were never more than an arms length away from Bucky. They clung to his chest and hung off his pant leg. And then there was the surf, and the bright sun rise, and the golden fire of sunsets over water; the bliss of fresh air, and fresh water, and knowing your efforts make a difference: that you were involved in important work. This situation solidified into happiness. A happiness that took over the mind and body of all participants. Bucky didn't think of the future. He didn't think of the past. He lived each day in this state of happiness and wanted for nothing. The feel of time changed, it could have been five months or five years that passed.

After dinner one night everyone went their separate ways. Steve and Trine to their third-floor apartment. Bruce and Tony to the lab. Bucky and Nat put their babies to bed.

Bucky brought Natalie at present.

"What's this?"

"Open it up and see."

Natalie remove the wrapper to find one army quality sleeping bag. Bucky grinned the worlds biggest grin, from ear to ear.

"You can't be serious? I just got a bed." Natalie knew he was serious. They were like a married couple with children now. The sleeping bag seemed so juvenile.

"I told Ming we'd be out on the beach all night." The smile was not leaving Bucky's face. 

"In that case, yes!" Natalie jumped on him.

"It's a perfect night for it. Full moon and everything."

"Yes," she said and he lifted her off the ground. 

The night was perfect, almost too perfect. The moon glow was so bright it seemed like twilight.

They stripped and got inside the sleeping bag. Their bodies heated. He slid his hand through her hair and pushed it all to the top of her head and out the top of the sleeping bag. He looked at it shining in the moonlight.

"I feel like we've gone farther away from everything then just the beach." She said and stroked his thick lush hair. She slid his hair up the sides of his head and out the top of the sleeping bag as he had done with hers. A sleeping bag on the beach with a load of hair sticking out the top may have looked strange to an observer, but they stared into each others twinkling eyes, and stretched their hands through each other's hair.

"I've never seen you look this beautiful. You're more beautiful than the moon," he said.

She brushed her cheek on his and ran her lips over his. She did not kiss him.

"Your eyes shine like galaxies." She kissed him. "Your lips are the pillows of the universe." She kissed him again.

"I dive into you like cool clear water. You surround me," he said.

They stop talking. 

A bright light, not the sun, woke them. Bucky squinted and looked around. He pulled the bag over their heads. Lost in the love they laid together. The constellations turned in the heavens: Orion ran after Centaurs never catching him. Clouds covered the moon and they slept. 

A scratching movement of sand broke the spell and they peeked out. The sand had cracked open. They watched the churning of the tortoise hatching breakthrough the hard surface sand and head for the water - and another - and another - and another until the beach was alive with movement. They watched with big eyes as the new life crawled out of the shell and faught their way out of their sand grave. The internal GPS of instinct drove the newborns to the shore. When the first rays of dawn glared from the east the scavenger birds arrived for their breakfast of tender tortoise. Natalie sprung from the bag without dressing and waved her arms calling the birds off. Bucky was right behind her. They worked for hours; they saved many and lost many. When the carnage was over, Bucky and Nat had exhausted themselves, they turned their attention to their home and their own children. They picked up the sleeping bag and their clothes and headed in.

"Wait!" Natalie saw the bio florescent glow of a tortoise shell. There was one still alive. The shell was cracked.

"Honey it's not going to live." Bucky was compassionate but practical.

"For sure it's not going to live if I leave it out here." She picked up the tortoise and looked at it. It's head popped out of the shell and looked right at them, or they thought, or imagined the tortoise looked at them.

"Well look at that – well maybe?" Bucky said.

Steve Rogers met them at the patio door. 

"Uh, you guys don't have any clothes on," he said in a sing song.

"Get Tony and Banner." Nat yelled. We have a medical emergency."

****

Natalie and Bucky sat with their two kids on the large wicker porch swing, swinging. Steve and Trine sat in one lawn chair. Banner stood behind the bar cutting up fruit for drinks. Ming taught Chinese cooking to Tony and they used the fresh vegetables from the garden, and the catch of the day from the fish market. They cooked over a super hot flame from Bucky's fire pit. As he worked, Tony talked nonstop. With all the stress removed from him he was like a comedian. His mind was whip smart and lightning fast. He cracked everyone up several times a day. Natalie was the only person who could keep up with him. Most nights their laughter could be heard long into the night. 

Steve sat with his arms around Trine and looked at Bucky and his family on the wicker swing. He felt a warm feeling throughout his body. He thought of the events that had happened that very morning in the garden. He played the incident over in his mind. The rooftop garden had grown like a mad demon and seem to flourish overnight. Bucky had taken the kids up early to harvest some vegetables and get eggs from the chickens for breakfast. Cap had set up his paints and easel and tried to capture the colors of the morning light on the sea and the sand. Bucky stood beside him and they looked west at the rising suns reflection from the east. Bucky made a strange sound. Steve glanced at him and put his hand on his shoulder. Buck wipe some moisture from his face.

"Buck what is it?" Steve said.

"Steve, I'm… I'm… happy."

"You fool." Steve slid his hand to Bucky's neck and pulled his head to his chest and rubbed his hand through Bucky's hair roughly. Steve held him like that so Buck couldn't see Steve was emotional, for he was happy too. Steve had taken in the colors of the sunrise, the sound of the surf, the smell of Bucky's hair. He wanted the moment to live forever in his mind. It had been a moment of purity. One moment Steve never wanted to forget.

Sure, they had jobs here and their work was interesting and important. They produced a steady stream of data from the lab for future use. They all dreaded the thought of the day Tony would be called back for some earth shattering reason. Back to the reality from which they wanted to escape. 

But that day did not come in like a storm, it came in a little innocent package: a call from James Comey. Seemed there was a self-proclaimed ecoterrorist raising hell, an anti-capitalist saboteur, eluding law enforcement, the FBI. He had blown up five factories that made weapons, some coal producers and car manufacturing plants. He disrupted the Internet and even popped onto the TV at the State of the Union address. Comey felt the complication of state laws interfered with federal law that delayed his capture. This terrorist could be quick work without these hindrances and an afternoon dalliance to the Avengers. Tony agreed. He called a meeting in the lab and explain the situation.

"Looks like this guy has to be stopped," Tony said.

"Sounds like he's doing the Lord's work to me." Steve said and Bucky nodded in agreement.

"Yeah? Until you run the numbers," Tony said. "Blowing up one plant produced more pollution than if the plant ran for 25 years."

"I see," was Cap's answer.

"I don't see any reason to disrupt work around here. I'll just take Barnes with me and the rest of you operate as normal."

"Sure thing Tony." Bucky stood at attention and move close to him.

Natalie stood too and frowned but she said nothing. Even Cap had a shocked look on his face.

"Come on guy's. Get behind this. It's summer break. Spiderman is on his way to Solaris. Wanda is already there. We'll be back in a day, day and a half tops." Tony said.

No one believe that but it sounded like a small job, maybe three days, at the most.

Not the kind of man to wait around Tony set the time machine and Bucky kissed and hugged the kids and Natalie and they stepped through to the sandy floor of Solaris. Scarlet Witch and Spiderman watched them materialize.

Tony held onto Bucky's organic arm. "Are you okay?" he said.

Bucky held Tony. "Dizzy and you?"

"Yes. Dizzy." The men swayed and held each other up. It passed.

"What do we know about this character?" Tony said.

"He's a character alright." Wanda showed a picture on her tablet. "Calls himself Hardy Har Har."

Bucky laughed. "I like him already."

Tony nodded. This was one reason Tony picked Bucky - he knew Bucky could relate.

Wanda continued: "Real name Thomas Hardy. Date of birth 3/19/1982. Born in Evanston Illinois, suburban, middle-class, well educated at Berkley. Talented programmer and coder. He joined Earth First!, then Anonymous. He went rogue from Anonymous after the last election. After each mass shooting he does a job. Blows up munitions - gun manufacturers and gun shows. Sideline - blowing up coal plants and known polluters. Describes himself as an ecoterrorist and a master hacker. He disrupted the State of the Union address. Is now on a shoot to kill list. Unofficially of course."

"Hum... " Tony said. " Do you have a sample of his DNA?"

"How would I have a sample of his DNA? How would anyone have a sample of his DNA?" Wanda said.

"Okay okay… Let's look."

The hand picked team of Tony, Wanda, Bucky and Spiderman all went to the lab of Solaris and stood around Tony who dived into computer data.

"Ah ha! Looks like his mother had him DNA tested prior to birth. Bingo!" Tony jumped around the lab.

"Now where's that tracker?"

"Tony, what are you talking about?"

"Ah... got to be here somewhere…" Tony programmed the tracker with Hardy Har Har's DNA, suited up and walked out to the balcony. "I'll send for you. Take the time machine. Just wait here." And he took off.

"What the hell?" Wanda complained.

"That's my line." Bucky mumbled.

"Time Machine? What's he talking about?" she said.

"The Time Machine will take us to his coordinates when he sends them."

"How? It's a Time Machine!"

"You simply set the timer to zero and then the machine is a transporter. I can operate it." Buck bragged.

Peter Parker, Wanda and Bucky milled around Solaris. It was well kept by the personal robots: all clean and shiny and everything functioned. Buck wandered into his therapeutic room and laid on the bed. He played around with the ceiling and west wall motifs, and soundscapes. The room was not much fun without Natalie and Nova. Restless, he looked around at everything they had left behind. He found a toy of Nova's and put it in his pocket to take to her. He wondered if she would even remember how much she once loved it. He showered, shaved and changed clothes. He sat on his chair on the deck. The inlet was beautiful this time of day and the sounds of insects buzzing, warm sun breeze russeling the plants on the balcony, sea bird calls and the tinkling water could lull you to sleep. However nice it was here it still felt confined. Bucky thought about the next person who would have this room, probably Zemo. He laid on the bed again and thought of food and headed out to find some. Peter and Wanda already had the same idea and he found them in the kitchen. Four hours later Tony sent his coordinates.

"This is it." Bucky called to the others as he worked at the communicator built into his cybernetic arm. They travel down the five stories to beach level to the time machine.

****

They arrived within 5 feet of Tony, who stood outside a warehouse in what looked like a suburban area. Buck glanced at corn fields off in the distance and remembered the home of his youth.

"He's in there." Tony pointed to the warehouse.

"And you waited for back up?" Bucky said.

"I want this guy alive - Barnes - look me in the eye and tell me you understand." Tony glared at Bucky.

"Right Pop." Buck saluted.

"Wanda?"

"Understood."

"Okay then, Wanda and Bucky - do what you do best - sneak in there and have a looksee."

Tony glanced at Wanda and back at Bucky who was gone.

"How does he do that?" she said.

"I don't know." Tony said as Wanda zipped by him.

Bucky's voice came in loud and clear through Tony's communicator.

"Lots of rats in here… Lots of explosives. This place is stockpiled with explosives… I see him… Alarm system - okay - neutralized by some EMP from Wanda. He's asleep in a chair with his head on a table. Looks like he's assembling a bomb… Come on in ... he's about to getta wake up call."

Peter and Tony stood by Wanda and Bucky at the foot of the table.

"He's a sound sleeper." Bucky mumbled.

Hardy Har Har woke with the jerk. Immediately, his finger went for the button to blow the whole place to kingdom come. Spiderman was just too fast and webbed him up: plastered him to the wall. He could talk out of the corner of his mouth and he had one eye open a crack. His finger hovered over the button but he could move no further. Bucky explained Tony's Truth and Reconciliation Program. Hardy Har Har was not having any part of it.

"Do you recognize me?" Stark said.

"Yeah – sure – you're Iron Man." Hardy Har Har said way too loud. 

Suspicious, Bucky looked around for a sound wave activated device.

"What can you tell me about this man on my right?"

"What kind of bullshit is this?" Hardy said.

Spiderman slathered on more webbing.

"Alright already. He is... he's the tall, dark and handsome type… He has a metal arm. What the f..." Hardy grumbled.

"Good. You can see. Now tell me more. Tell me what you get about our relationship?"

"Oh… You look like best friends to me."

"Right again. This man right here. This man killed my parents." Tony said.

"I don't believe you, man, there's no way. If he killed your parents he'd be dead." Hardy said.

Tony opened his palm and the hologram of the road - the car - the night - the Winter Soldier killed Howard and Maria Stark danced on his hand. Bucky squirmed and his eyelids fluttered 50 times. He got a dreamy look on his face and looked away.

"He went though the program," Tony said, "Now this can happen to you. Give up. Take your hand off that button and come into Crime Rehab. You are not beyond help. It could be you standing with me next year."

"Crime Rehab?" Buck mumbled and Tony shot him a glance.

"I know this is a trap. You're gonna kill me." Hardy Har Har looked at the henchmen Bucky Barnes. Bucky shifted his eyes from left to right.

"Barnes – go ahead – it's no use." Tony said.

Pain makes men think.

Bucky advanced on Hardy Har Har and squirted him in the face with the yellow aerosol of truth serum.

****

The team and Hardy Har Har return to Solaris. Hardy screamed the whole way, at least, what he screamed was the truth.

"This is kidnapping ! You're forcing me against my will. I have constitutional rights!"

They threw him in an observation room and let him cool off. He shut up. Bucky and Tony watched him with their arms across their chest and her feet wide apart. They stared at him.

"You have one chance bud. Make the right decision. Barnes here agrees with what you're doing on principle but not with your methods."

"I agree with his methods…" Bucky mumbled. 

Tony bumped him with an elbow. "No you don't."

Tony turned to Hardy. "There's the contract on the table. See it there? Read it. Sign it. If, in six months of the program you still feel the same. I'll release you."

"To the police?"

"No."

Bucky shot a look at Tony.

"No. I'll release you to the street."

"I don't believe you."

Tony stepped close to the safety class that separated them. "Barnes, give us a squirt."

Bucky fulfilled the request as evidenced by the yellow mist of truth serum wafting out his trigger finger and readily sucked up by Tony Stark. Tony repeated the whole deal.

"There's the contract." Tony pointed to the paper on the table. "This is how confident I am that you will change your mind. You have no idea what fantastic things are happening in support of the issues you're willing to die for - I'd rather you fight for."

"But -"

Tony cut him off. "That's it. That's the deal." Tony waved his hands and bounded down the hall and out of sight.

Hardy turned to Bucky.

"But…"

"You heard the man." Bucky went down the hall the other way. He went to his therapeutic room opened drawers and closets and threw clothes onto the bed. He packed them up and put them in storage to give his room to Hardy Har Har. He worked a half hour when Tony called everyone to the conference room. Bucky changed again and washed the truth serum off of himself. Wanda and Peter Parker were with Tony when Bucky got there.

"Dandalo's on the way here. We have to stay a while."

Bucky shook his head no but did not verbally protest.

Tony read Dandalo's communication briefs from his tablet.

" ... subject is of intergalactic importance and discusses the future of Earth." Tony glanced at all the faces.

"Future of Earth?" Bucky repeated. He felt a bit of panic at the thought of not going back to his comfortable life in the 1950s but he was able to tap it down and face reality.

"Dandalo has been selected to chair the Quantum Force, an intergalactic peace keeping armada (three ships really) and is recruiting appropriate members for training in de-escalation and conflict resolution. Anyone interested?"

"I am." Bucky said.

"Not me." Wanda replied.

"I'll pass." Peter Parker said.

"Right… You're just a…"

"Friendly… Neighborhood… Yeah."

Dandalo wants to interview me, Steve, Natalie and you." Tony pointed to Bucky. "Should take one hour each person… Results in minutes…" Tony read further from his tablet. "Natalie asked do you want her to bring the kids?"

"Hum... just Nova. She is protected by ILLlUMINE Roman isn't. Just in case – Time Machine ... you know." Buck said.

Dandalo materialized in the corner of the room, as always. Tony and Dandalo geated in their customary way. Dandalo nodded to the crew.

"How are you doing Bucky? Are you interested in the project?"

"Yes I am, very much."

"I am so happy to hear that. I will interview you first."

"You can have this room." Tony, Wanda and Peter left the room.

"Tony stay. I'll explain what this is about. You can record and send the recording to Natalie and Steve.

"Sure."

"The United Federation of Planets formed this task force over 200 years ago in response to valuable sentient capital and natural resources lost to conflicts and wars. At the request of any member, the task force is deployed to settle conflict on planets, or between planets without violence. If, however, violence does break out, the teams are trained to handle that as well. The Quantum Force consists of 150 pairs."

"Pairs?"

"Yes. 150 partners. The intergalactic committee assembled the most elite squad made up of partners who are beloved in someway. Husbands and wives. Brothers ... friends who have been together a long time. Same-sex lovers. Fathers and sons, mothers and daughters. Interspecies couples ... any combination is acceptable but there must be the bond - a deep love for each other and the ability to support their partner physically and mentally."

"Why is that?"

"This love pairing method has proven to be most effective and gives the psychological advantage of having your lover with you for comfort, understanding, love, sex and safety. Your lover is the person who wants to protect you. Your lover is the one you want to be brave for ... to impress them and make them feel protected. A lover would die for their beloved. This hardly ever happens, of course - the de-escalation and conflict resolution training is so effective no life is lost. Members of the Quantum Force are taught to use these skills to the last moment. Even if violence breaks out, every effort is made to find a way to get out of it."

"What if the conflict goes physical? If violence breaks out ... like you say ...what is acceptable?" Bucky asked.

"Rules of engagement are clearly stated but if there is an escalation of tensions, within this group, an escalation of affection is concordant. Members can show affection for their lover, comfort their lover by physical methods. Anything to support, encourage, inspire, comfort and bring forth sexual energy into battle. Warriors prepared in this way are virtually unstoppable."

The room became quiet. No one moved. No one spoke.

"The Quantum Force military is like no military on the planet Earth. The machines of the Quantum Force are equipped with godlike abilities to stop the aggressor. The consequences of releasing such a power is unimaginable, thereby, decreases the likelihood of aggression. Entity computer interface is common. Bucky, if excepted, you will meet other cyborgs. They make the best pilots." Dandalo smiled a big grin. "The Quantum Force enables societies ... countries ... planets to have minimal armies and policing. Frees money and resources for quality-of-life, planet health, and scientific pursuits. Each planet pays their share or trades. The budget of the Quantum Force is unlimited."

"How many planets are you talking about?" Tony said.

"6,727."

"But…"

"All pay, but some do not send soldiers. 28% of planets have biological inhibitors. 42% are pacifist but susceptible to aggression. That leaves the fighting, if needed, to 30% of the planets. If any of your people are excepted, Tony, this will be the first step towards joining the consortium. Yes ... just think of it. The possibilities for your planet are literally beyond your imagination." Dandalo sat patiently with hands folded in the lap and a Buddha smile. "Any questions?"

"Well then… Tony will you step out and I'll interview Bucky."

Tony rose in slow motion. He rested his hands, fingers spread on the cool marble table and shook his head. He left the room and walked down the long hall of Solaris to the ocean side. He leaned on the windowsill and looked out at the green water and the sun shrouded in burnt orange. The toxic signs were up on the beach and the beach was littered with dead fish. Soon there would not even be dead fish. He thought of the catastrophe of mother nature turned against you.

The next thing Tony was aware of was something pulling on his pant leg.

"Nova, hey baby?" Tony picked her up. She hugged onto his neck and pointed out to the ocean.

"What's that?"

"What's what?"

"That. That."

"Oh those are dead fish."

"Why?"

"That's what I'm gonna find out."

"Hey." Nat said.

"My God it looks bad." Cap looked out at the scenery. The contrast from 1947 was unbelievable. "The signs are out."

"Where's Bucky?" Natalie asked.

"He's being interviewed."

Bucky strolled up. Nova kicked and pushed at Tony until he put her down and she ran to him. He looked her in the eyes and didn't look away. She held his ears and stared into his face.

"Dandalo said someone else go in." Buck said.

"I'll go." Cap volunteered.

"Hey baby where is Mommy?" Bucky said and Nova pointed to Natalie at the window. Bucky's mouth fell open as he walked to her side and took in the devastating view.

"Tony?" Bucky said.

"Yeah… we gotta hurry up." All the fun they were having in 1947 suddenly seemed a waste of time. Even running the OSI seemed a ridiculous endeavor.

When the interviews were complete Dandalo called Tony in to the cinema room.

"Am I accepted?" Tony asked.

"Let me show you something." Dandalo activated the big screen in the conference room where the interviews took place. The scene came into focus. Bucky sat in a chair with his fingers interlaced, human and cyborg, they laid on the table in front of him. He looked at his interviewer: Dandalo.

"There is one other person I love. I love Tony. I'd gladly give my life for him but deep down I know he still can't stand the sight of me. I feel he'd like to see me dead." Bucky shook his head and looked at his hands.

"What?" Tony said.

Dandalo raise a finger and pointed to the screen. Natalie appeared on the screen. She leaned one elbow on the table and spoke: 

"You know, I really love that asshole Tony Stark. But I suppose he hates me. At best, he doesn't trust me." She shrugged her shoulders and looked down.

"What the hell?" Tony's face flushed. "What's - "

"One more…" Dandalo interrupted.

"What?"

Steve Rogers appeared on the screen. He sat straight and formal. 

"I love Tony but I feel he basically... doesn't even like me at all. I feel he just puts up with me. You know ... I fell he resents me... I think half of what he does is to compete with me and to show me how superior he is to me."

Tony sprang from the chair.

"Son of a bitch. What the hell is going on. I wasn't accepted was I?" Tony yelled.

"No. But you are on the alternate list." Dandalo said.

"What does that mean?"

"That means you passed all but one area. You are given some time to work on that one area. Tony, do you love these people?"

"I do!"

"You have seen firsthand what they think of how you show your love. You have failed to get your feelings across to them." Dandalo was firm.

"It's just my manner - my personality."

"The Quantum Force does not accept people with that 'manner' or 'personality'. The soldiers of the Quantum Force must be mother, father, sister, brother, lover, nurse, psychiatrist, everything to their partners. There can be no issue that blocks the expression of love, devotion, commitment and physical caring. You made the alternate list because you do have a loving intimate relationship with another and that person is me." Dandalo gave Tony a moment to compose himself before continuing. "So ... now ... Tony, tell me what is your issue with Steve Rogers?"

"Did he make the team?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Homophobia, stoicism and an inability to recognize, accept and express his feelings."

"Damn."

"Tony ... tell me now ... What is your issue with Steve Rogers?"

"I love him like the brother I've never had... I am jealous of him, somewhat… I don't know."

"Figure it out. And Natalia?"

"I care about her. I even love her but ... I never know where I stand with her. Now that I know how she feels about me - that might change. It's a trust issue with her ... she's right about that."

"Good. Good. You have some insight. And James Barnes?"

Tony paced around the room. 

"The man would lay down his life for you." Dandalo said.

"I know ... I know."

"Do you know your story with him has spread around the galaxy? What you have done with him and for him and how you have overcome the unfathomable wrong he has done to you. There are Tony Stark Societies and Stark Support groups for people trying to forgive their transgressors. What is it? What is blocking you from the last step?"

Tony threw himself on a chair and huffed air in and out. He slapped his hands on the arms of the chair.

"Alright! Alright!"

Dandalo moved the chair close to Tony and looked at him with shining eyes: blue and calm. Tony breathed in the sent of Dandalo and relaxed.

"You can tell me." Dandalo whispered. 

Tony did. He told Dandalo he gave maximum effort at all times, not to care about Bucky. He admired Bucky and couldn't fathom how he lived through what he lived through.

"I was captured and tortured for 5 minutes and I think about that 5 minutes four times a day. Every day. Every day." Tony explained in depth that he was always on guard with Bucky. If he slipped and was nice to Bucky or had some fun with him: Tony was smacked down with extreme guilt. This conflict within him, he said, was giving him an ulcer.

Dandalo leaned in closer to Tony.

"You must get professional advice. This issue with Barnes is corrosive to your psyche. You are so close."

"What about him and Nat?"

"The team of Barnes and Romanova made the force."

"Great."

"This means we can start an overture to Earth for their membership. Are you jealous?"

"Maybe a little." Tony stood up and stretched. He looked back. "Dandalo, can you stay?"

"I'll make arrangements to stay awhile." Dandalo moved close to Tony.

****

A while was not long. 

Tony, Steve, Natalie, Bucky and Nova were back on their patio in 1948 for a late dinner. Ming cooked. They ate, but there was no joking around, no laughter, and no cocktails. Tony jumped up:

"I've got work in the lab." His voice had a new urgency.

"I'll help." Steve said. 

"Me too." Natalie said.

"I'll put the kids to bed." Bucky said.

"Daddy the beach… You promised." Nova cried.

"Okay. One last walk on the beach for today. Get on."

Bucky bent down and Nova jumped on him. He picked up Roman and they walk to the beach. Nova played in the water. Buck stopped at the water's edge and looked at the majesty before him. Roman was warm and asleep in his arms. He rocked back-and-forth like parents do. He daydreamed. Before he knew it, Nova had crawled halfway up his leg. He boosted her the rest of the way and she put her cold wet hands, full of sand, on each side of his mouth.

"Daddy?" she said and he spit sand. "Daddy... why are you sad?"

"How do you know I'm sad? Can you read my mind?"

Nova put her arms around his neck and laid her head on his chest. He held his children and stared out at the horizon.

Dr. Trine Hougan approached him.

"Hey!" she said squinting at the sun.

"Don't get out much do you? It's only dusk." Bucky laughed.

"No." she laughed, "we are at an impasse with the ILLUMINE."

"Can I help?"

"I'd like an account of your capture... in detail. Maybe something…"

"You mean the first time ... Hydra ... ?"

"Yes when they gave you the ILLUMINE."

"You mean 77 years ago? I don't really remember that time on a good day."

"I'd like to prime your memory with truth serum."

"Shit. Okay." Buck did not look forward to remembering any of Hydra. "When?"

"Now. In the lab."

"The lab? You know what happens - "

"I want you in the lab ... in a similar environment, you know, laying on an exam table. Your body may tell us what your brain cannot. Your body may have secrets we can unlock."

"That's what I would be afraid of." Bucky did not want to unlock any of that. He was not in the mood.

"I know it's drastic Bucky, but without some new lead we are kaput."

He gritted his teeth, "Alright. Let's do it." He agreed but his voice showed poor motivation.

He took his time putting the kids to bed and went to the lab. Bucky stretched out on the table with ease. He relaxed. He was encouraged that he did not disassociate. He got comfortable and looked at the exam light over his head.

"Bucky. Bucky?"

"Huh?"

"I lost you for a minute."

"Damn, when am I going to stop doing that?"

"It's less." Trine placed a monitor cuff on his arm. A pulse ox on his finger and electrodes on each temple.

"What's all this for?"

Trine circle his chest with the lie detector monitor. "I'm going to give you a hefty dose of truth serum and I want stats. I want a record... Of course, this will be recorded."

"Of course." His whole life was recorded except when he was underwater which is just what he was thinking about at that moment. He bounced the pulse ox clip on his finger up-and-down on the sheet a few times. He felt the sheets fabric with his cybernetic fingers. He ran his hand up his arm. He felt the texture of his cotton shorts. He wished they were Under armour. He twisted the fabric around his fingers and gave it a little tug.

"Inhale all the aerosol," Trine said.

Buck knew the routine. He had been there before. This time he twisted the fabric on the sheet. Trine assessed him. Her eyes were calm and reassuring. She took his cybernetic hand in both of her hands and laid it on his chest. He twisted the fabric on his shirt. Trine spread his fingers over his chest and held her hand over his.

"Relax," she said.

He shook his head no. He could not relax his muscles.

"Do you remember anything the day before you were captured?"

He heard rain on canvas.

"Rain," he said.

"It rained?"

"The offensive was canceled."

"So you went the next day?"

"So we went the next day. Yes."

"Was the sun shining?"

"No sun - no birds - nothing."

"Was it raining ... then ... the next morning?" 

"Snow. Leaves and grass were frozen ... crunch under my boots."

"It was cold out then?"

"Cold, yes but I was hot."

"What? … Were you sick?"

"I was burning up. My eyes were on fire. I thought I was going to be blind ... I didn't tell anyone." Bucky touched his face with his metal fingers. "I'm hot."

"No, you are not hot. Was there something wrong with your face?"

"My gas mask – they gassed us."

"That's how they captured you – they gassed you?"

"I don't remember."

"You must have been unconscious." Trine called Steve.

Steve came right away and stood beside her.

"Describe what the room looked like when you were there, Steve. The more detail the better."

"Buck ... Remember? You were alone in the room," Cap said.

Bucky shut his eyes.

"You had straps on your arm here and here." Steve pressed on Bucky's arms where the straps have been. "And here on your legs and here across your chest. You were mumbling. You were mumbling your name, rank and serial number over and over."

"I was?"

"Yes. There was a machine over you – a God awful looking machine – there were windows on the right and more machines on the left. It smelled funny in there."

"Sulfur." Bucky said.

"Yes! Sulfur! It was cold and damp and smelled of sulfur. There had been a bad storm that day ... Thunder snow ... Lots of lightning. Do you remember?"

Bucky's eyes flashed open. He spoke in German.

"Are they speaking German?" Trine asked.

"What are they saying Buck? What are they saying?" Steve said.

"Meningitis."

"They said you had meningitis?" Trine said.

"Un huh." Buck shut his eyes again. "Blue liquid in the machine."

"Must be the ILLUMINE." Trine glanced at Steve.

"Yeah, must be the super soldier serum."

Buck's eyelids fluttered a thousand times a second and he covered his eyes with his hand.

"What is it?"

"Lights," he said. He jerked around like he was being hit with something.

"Could that have been the lightning?" Trine said.

"There was a huge storm ... it was one hell of a storm." Cap said.

"It hit us." Bucky jerked out of the way.

"What? The lightning?" Cap said. 

"Was there a power surge?" Trine asked.

"They gave it to me anyway... I was about dead."

"Damn. They had nothing to lose." Steve said.

Trine got a lot out of the session. Bucky was no worse for wear. Trine had two variables to play around with, two leads to follow: meningitis and lightning.

****

That night at dinner Tony made Bloody Mary's and Ming made stir fry with shrimp fresh from the market by the pier in Venice Beach.

"I don't like tomato juice." Bucky said.

"You've been drinking Bloody Mary's since we got here."

"I don't like them. I don't like green peppers."

"Mr. Bucky? You eat them every day." Ming said.

"Must be the truth serum." Tony said.

Nova, crawled on Bucky's lap. "Do you like me?"

"Oh my baby girl ... I love you." Bucky held her swinging on the porch swing.

"Do you like to swing?" she asked.

"I don't like to swing. Hold still."

Nova shoved her stuffed bear in his face. "Do you like Teddy?"

"He smells."

"Daddy!" Nova burst into tears and ran to her mother.

"How long before the truth serum wears off?" Natalie asked.

"He's getting into deep trouble." Steve laughed.

"I'll have to develop an antidote." Trine said.

****

A trip down the boardwalk; a walk to the fishing boats; a stop at the pier for the catch of the day; a few days of surfing, gardening and playing around and things were back to normal.

They got a case. The LA police called: a suspect they were hunting for grand larceny shot and killed a police officer in Glendale California. Police stormed his residence and were shocked to find a large basement full of sophisticated electrical equipment. The man was building something.

Steve Rogers went as the OSI investigator and brought Bucky as photographer and Natalia to document. They met the police Chief at the suspects apartment. The police were right to be concerned. The OSI trio had seen all types of sophisticated electrical equipment and even they had shocked looks on their faces.

"What do you know about him?" Steve asked the Chief.

"His name is Erwin Walker, age 28. He was an engineer and electrician before the war. He served in the South Pacific in the signal Corps, first lieutenant. His unit was captured and massacred by the Japanese and he blamed himself. At home he abandoned his family. We were on his trail for robbery, mostly stealing electrical equipment and weapons. He was caught in the act of breaking into an electrical store and was about to be arrested when he shot and killed a police officer. We've got a manhunt in progress. So tell us fellas ... what the hells he trying to build?" The Chief said.

Bucky ran around taking pictures and Natalie took an inventory of everything.

"Allow me to confer with my associates." Cap called his operatives into a huddle.

"What do you think?"

Bucky and Nat pointed out different objects and floated some ideas. Cap was ready to talk.

"He's building a weapon. What kind? Unknown at this time. I will take these samples, analyze our evidence and get back to you in a matter of hours. As quick as possible."

"Is the equipment itself dangerous?"

"Yes – this will all have to be dismantled with care. We can do that for you."

"Great."

"No one can come in here." Cap cautioned.

"Right…"

"I'll leave Barnes, my science advisor, here. He's tops in his field. I know you need all your men."

"Done deal."

"Why haven't you caught this guy?" Bucky asked the Chief.

"He seems to disappear in plain sight."

"Broaden your thinking." Buck said. "This guy is smart. Could he be traveling by air? Could he be traveling underground?"

"I'll pass that on," the Chief's eyes widened.

****

Steve and Natalie took the pictures and evidence to Tony for analysis. Tony said the guy was a genius and he was building a ray gun.

Erwin Walker was caught by police that very evening. He was on the 'shoot on sight' - 'dead or alive' list, but they brought him in alive. He did not fight back. He confessed to police. He told them he was, in fact, building in a ray gun that could disintegrate metal into dust to force the government into raising the pay of GIs so America could no longer have the money to make war. Walker told police he was using the LA sewer system to elude capture. At the time no one saw him as mentally ill or suffering from PTSD. 

****

The next morning the surfing was fantastic. The surfers: Bucky, Natalie, Steve and Tony did not come out of the water till after 4 PM. They laid around on patio furniture. Bucky laid directly on the Persian rug covering the concrete slab that was their patio. Nova and Roman crawled over him and played with him. Bruce and Trine made drinks and dinner on the grill. They discussed the Walker case.

"Too bad we couldn't get that guy into the program." Tony took a call on his communicator, of course, it was Dandalo.

"Dandalo is picking you two up for Quantum Force training."

"When?"

"Now. You'll be gone a month."

Natalie was all smiles. "That's great timing. The kids start summer day camp in the morning for four weeks."

"It's gonna be hard not to see you little monsters." Bucky said as Nova rode him like a horse and Roman bounced on his head with a smelly diaper. "When do we leave?"

"Seven hours."

"Where are we going?"

"The Alphane Moon."

****

The Alphane Moon was a large moon orbiting a gas giant in the Sigma System. There was nothing special about the Sigma System except the moon. Three times the mass of Earth the Alphane Moon was special for an atmosphere eloquent to fertility. The moon was shared by the planets Omacron and Protium. Perpetually on the verge of war, the two planets had a long history of fighting amongst themselves. With great irony they donated the land and materials to build The Quantum Force headquarters with the hope of always having mediators available to help settle their frequent disputes.

One hundred partners met in the great Hall of the Alphane Moon. A huge 30 foot sculpted marble wall read "Quantum Force: The Least Possible Amount That Can Suffice."

In front of the marble wall stood tall flags signifying each planet that sent representatives. The Quantum Force flag and symbol was a white rectangle with a black dot in the middle: the symbol of hydrogen, the most abundant element in the Milky Way galaxy and the most recognized symbol. 

All sentient life in the Milky Way were carbon-based oxygen breathers. They were humanoid in form with a wide variation of size, shape and coloring. They range from 4 foot tall to 7 foot. The main variation were in the smaller things, the lipstick and rouge of the creatures, the things that humanoids freak out over but have no scientific significance whatsoever: skin color, size of chest cavity, size and shape of nostrils; depending on the planets temperature; size and shape of lips and eyes; a wide variety of hair texture and color but everyone had hair. Some races were very hairy. All hands had opposing thumbs but some had two fingers or three fingers. 

The host workers wore the uniform of the Quantum Force, grey with the hydrogen symbol patch on the shoulder and their rank in red on the opposing sleeve. Officers wore rank on their collar. 

A huge dome over looked the vista of the gas giant in the distance.

"I can see what they mean about unlimited budget." Nat said. The place was opulent.

The hall was alive with talking and the 100 partners mingled and looked each other over. The lover and the beloved were eager to show off their loved one. After all, everyone thought their lover was beyond compare. Bucky did. He was no less caught up in the pageantry of the moment than anyone. He knew for a fact that Natalia Romanova was the most beautiful, the most sexually appealing, the most intelligent and wise woman on planet earth. There was no debate. Natalie was peerless on earth and looked to be peerless in the galaxy. Bucky stood behind her and occasionally touched her shoulder or kissed the top of her head for all to see. 

They did not have to move from their position in front of the flags. They were known throughout the galaxy. Bucky's story was legendary in military circles: no soldier had ever been a POW as long as Bucky. His story was an inspiration to all. Everyone knew their names and came to have a look. Barnes had been in many situations to witness the camaraderie of soldiers but he had never seen or felt anything like this. He had never seen soldiers so happy. Everyone was so proud of their beautiful loved one. Every person felt they were in the company of the very person they felt was peerless, the bravest and the most beautiful in the universe.

When greating Natalie, many commented on how find her partner was and complemented her on Bucky's beauty. She pulled him beside her so he could be seen more fully. They admired each other, through the eyes of others, in a new way.

Bucky met other Cyborgs. There was a planet whose soldiers were outfitted with titanium skeletons. All the bones of the body were replaced with metal. The tissue could be damaged but it would heal, otherwise, they were indestructible. They were called Tiskells: nickname T-bones.

Other cyborgs had upgrades of sight, hearing, speed and strength. Some had extensive hardware and brain computer interface ability. These soldiers made great pilots. Tony sent Bucky's cybernetic arm specs for anyone who wanted to have a look at his technology. Bucky talk to them at length and took their names and room numbers for further discussions. The seeds were planted for a change in his attitude towards his cybernetic arm.

He was impressed with how physically affectionate everyone was, not only with their lover, but with everyone. He had never been hugged and kissed so many times in one afternoon.

Cocktails were served and formal introductions were made. When your name was called the partners stood on a round rotating platform and a brief history of the couple was read, the history of their partnership and their combat history and proficiencies. After the introductions everyone went to dinner in another great hall where speakers told the history of the Quantum Force: something everyone seemed to know by heart. Another speaker told of prior missions. A third read an overview of the latest in de-escalation techniques and conflict resolution skills.

Nat and Bucky had no idea what they ate for dinner but they were served an excellent meal. 

They broke into groups of four. Each pair of partners were assigned a foursome. They would be constant companions. In this group there were in-depth introductions and the foursomes told everything about themselves. After an hour of this, the foursomes met their group of eight. The group of eight were assigned time together and they shared less personal and more task oriented information about themselves. There were more speeches and the 100 pairs of partners were shown to their quarters. These high-tech dormitory type rooms had a bedroom on each side of a common living space and a small galley kitchen, this is where the foursome dwelled. The mirror image of the room held the other foursome of the team of eight.

Bucky and Natalie were partnered with a woman named Ferial and her son, Florian. They had been on the Force five years and had been deployed twice. They saw combat once and that was short-lived. This is exactly how the Quantum Force was set up to operate. 

The other foursome consisted of a set of brothers: Atom and Klein Krieg, who looked identical; and a pair male lovers called Kir and Roning. Roning was massively muscular and had attracted a lot of attention in the hall, had signed autographs, was famous for something that Bucky and Natalia had yet to learn.

The rooms were on par with Bucky's therapeutic room back on Solaris. The team of eight met in the living room of Bucky and Nat's area and they talked long into the night. The evening was an exhilarating experience.

At the crack of dawn classes began. The first three weeks fell into a pattern: lectures and role-play followed by more lectures and role-play. All 200 members were giving physical and psychological testing. At the end of two weeks the team of eight elected a leader: Natalia was chosen. Her leadership skills tested off the charts. She tested extremely high in flexibility, versatility and agility. Her communication style of cooperative, logical and emotional appeals was the highest ever tested. The 25 elected team leaders went to special classes.

Bucky was chosen to participate on the negotiating team. He tested high in empathy and umami (a type of charisma). Such a unique combo had not been seen for a while in the Quantum Force and he was predicted to develop into a great negotiator. 

The last week was devoted to weapons training. Bucky and Nat were shocked when Steve showed up for this training.

"STEVE!" Bucky yelled out.

"Yeah! I'm here. I am your alternate." Steve said.

"This is fantastic! But how?" Natalie replied.

"I guess you can fail one area and still be an alternate - some algorithm."

Bucky took Steve into his arms and kissed both cheeks and held him rubbing his hand up and down Steve's back. When Bucky kissed him again, he felt Steve tense up, and Bucky backed off. Use to the physical contact among the warriors - he forgot this was not Steve's thing but Bucky loved it. He could be hugged and kissed and loved on 100 times a day and he would come back for more.

"This is too good to be true." Bucky said.

"You'll love it here." Natalie said.

"The kids?" Buck asked.

"They're fine. They love camp. Ming takes them and stays with them."

"That's great news." Nat said. "Let show you around."

The facility expanded to accommodate the extra 100 people. The addition just made things louder and more fun. Steve met the foursome and the group of eight first. Jumping in like he did, in the middle of training he was not acclimated to all the physical affection flying around. At dinner with the 300 warriors (70% of which were male) you could expect a lot of macho vib and there was. The room looked like an Olympic athlete training camp or an elite gym. Steve stared at the physiques in the room. He thought he was fine but compared to what he saw he knew he'd be on the downswing of the bell curve. This was expected. What was not expected was the sexual energy in the room. The loose natural movements of the bodies, the boisterous verbalizations, the uninhibited displays of affection (especially male to male) and the overall sense of play, shocked Steve. Totally opposite of Steve's military experience of controlled button down stoicism. Tony had run the stats and warned Steve that a big percentage of the Quantum Force were male and their same sex lovers. The warning did not prepare him for the ease with which the men related to each other and spontaneously showed raw emotions. Like, right in front of Steve, a man picked up another man swung him around a bit, hugged and kissed him and let him loose. The warriors in the area laughed loud. Men sat on other men's laps. Men kissed casually on the mouth. Men petted other men. Natalie noticed Steve's tension.

"You get used to it." Nat hung onto Steve and they walked through the room. He wrapped his arms around her: she was not threatening to him. 

Steve met the whole team of eight: Florian and his mother, Ferial; the brothers, Atom and Klein Krieg; and the lovers, Kir and Roning.

The next day the 25 team leaders picked their Captain. Again, Natalia Romanova was selected. This was a huge honor. The ceremony was in full military dress with all high-level officials and was of intergalactic importance. She would attend all high-level meetings and spoke for the leadership.

"Finally, you're getting the recognition you deserve." Bucky said.

Sure of herself and her skills Natalie readily accepted all responsibilities afforded the job.

Four days into the week of weapons training the Quantum Force was deployed on a mission. This was not a drill. Planet Omicron and Protium were on the verge of war. Omicron called the Quantum Force when planet Protium broke off negotiations. Omicron admitted they should have called sooner. Never in the history of the Quantum Force has there ever been a time where new recruits were so many as to affect the team. This iteration of the Quantum Force was no exception. The veterans and senior staff snapped into action. All three Quantum Force space cruisers were on their way to the Alphane moon space station to pick up the warriors. All members and alternates were scheduled to deploy, 100 personnel each ship not counting the ships crew.

Focusing on collar rank a senior member approached Natalia.

"Dandalo!" Natalie yelled and they hugged.

"You and your partner and team of eight and alternates are assigned to the flag ship."

"Are you?"

"Of course, yes. As soon as you and your partner are on the ship report to the bridge."

"Understood." Nat was ready for anything. She didn't think Dandalo heard her - the noise level of the room had escalated. She soon saw why. The ships could be seen coming around to the dock. Designed by artists these ships were like floating works of art. Designed and built by the best of the 643 planets they spared no expense. Shiny and colorful, breathtakingly beautiful, they look like anything but harbingers of death. 

Bucky ran to the window for a closer look. Three hundred other warriors had the same idea.

"The Quantum Force ships will dock at the space station in one hour. Please report to your assigned units. Repeat. The Quantum Force ships will dock at the space station in one hour," blasted over the intercom.

"Come on. We're are the flag ship." Nat sounded excited.

"What?" Bucky ran after Natalie craning his neck to see the ships to the last second. Soon Buck and Steve, Florian, Ferial, the Krieg brothers and Kir and Roning were standing in line waiting to board the flag ship. They wore their standard light gray uniforms with matching boots the white patch with the black circle and a bit of red on the collar. Natalie's uniform was a darker gray and her whole collar was red to signify her rank. They all carried one large gray bag with the symbol for hydrogen on the side. Bucky was the first in line and spoke to the official in front of him.

"Omacron - hey?"

"Yes. They are a peaceful planet. This dispute is over the rights of the very moon we stand on that they share with Protium."

"Wow!"

"But I can't say the same for Protium. They've had the Quantum Force called on them before."

The doors opened and they boarded the spaceship. The inside was as breathtaking as the outside. Part of their training was to memorize every part of the ship, every function, so they boarded the ship like they had been there 100 times. Still, they tripped over their own feet and gawked at their surroundings.

Destination Omacron. 

One cruiser shipped to Prodium, one shipped to Omacron, and one ship stayed in orbit around the disputed Alphane moon.

Planet Omicron sounded prettier than it was. 2000 Protium's were in attendance at negotiations in a modern, but dusty and windy city's massive event center. The negotiations had reached a stalemate, no one was speaking but the Protium's had not left the planet.

"I see why they're ready to fight over the Alphane moon it was beautiful." Bucky said with sarcasm.

"I'm shocked." Natalie said.

A team that included Natalie was dispatched to the Protium camp. They were gone for three days. They signal sporadically that things were progressing with the Protium's. 

Tensions were high in the Omicron camp. Steve and Bucky fooled around in a recreation area when word came talks had broken down and the Protium's kicked the Quantum Force (including Nat) out of the negotiations. Natalie hunted the boys down.

"What's happening?" Bucky asked.

"The Protiums are furious." Nat responded. "They're totally unreasonable. The Omicrons have given and given. The Protium's ... are almost like a mass paranoia."

Buck supported her physically.

"I wanted to come with you." Bucky said.

"The Protiums dictated how many people they would allow." She fell into his arms letting herself be rubbed and supported by him.

"Even the food was shitty," she said, "and the dust..."

"Come on. Let's go back to the hotel room. Come with me Steve, she'll be asleep in 10 minutes."

Natalie showered, changed and ate some decent food. She threw herself on the bed with a thud. Bucky stroked her until she fell asleep.

"She'll sleep for hours," he said to Steve. "Let's go to the ship and find out what's going on. Maybe there something we can do to help the situation. Just sitting around in this dust is driving me crazy." Buck said.

The environment on Omacron was not the best. The dust blocked out the sun and found its way inside the buildings and rooms and made everyone irritable. Bucky and Steve found Dandalo on the bridge. It was a joy to breath the clean air of the ship. Bucky felt lighter in his mind already."

"We are at an impasse again." Dandalo said.

"After spending three days and nights on that dust bowl down their - I suggest a change of venue might be in order ... Unpleasant is the best I can say about Omicron." Buck said.

Dandalo shrugged, "Why not? A delay for any reasonable reason may improve the situation. I'll submit the suggestion."

"The dust seems to get into your body somehow." Bucky explained.

"I'll submit it right now."

"That may be just the ticket, Buck." Steve said.

"We can all go to Protium. Damn... It might be worse." Buck mused.

Dandalo submitted the suggestion. Some higher ups join the discussion. They sent the suggestion to the Prodium delegation suggesting a change of venue: to return to their home planet to continue negotiations. They sat around the bridge waiting for the delegation to reply.

"Change of venue has not been suggested." An official said. "Even if it fails it might buy us some time – a cooling off period - anything.

20 minutes later alarms sounded. Bridge staff rushed to their communication stations. The communications officer yelled out:

"Prodium is leaving!"

"Negotiations?... The planet?" said Dandalo.

"Unclear ... Uh ... Both! They've declared war on Omacron. Their ships are in the air."

"What? That's impossible."

"It is confirmed."

"Prepare to leave the planet. Prepare to follow the Protium ship and open communication to the ship." Dandalo said.

Many workers pushed Bucky and Cap out of the way. There was a loud bustle of action and alarms. Bucky called the hotel to wake Natalie.

"There's no answer," he said to Steve.

"Call Florian - he's in the next room." Cap said and Bucky called him.

"Florian is going to wake him her." Bucky said. "She was exhausted."

"We should go back to the hotel." Steve said.

"I told Florian to bring everything ..." Buck said.

Steve nodded acceptance of the idea. 

As events organized themselves things on the bridge calmed down. Alarms ceased. Everyone knew their role and took action. Without any fanfare, a man in a Quantum Force uniform delivered a package. Dandalo opened it and immediately looked at Bucky. Dandalo did not take his eyes off Bucky. Dandalo's eyes shot emergency colors of gold and silver flashing across both irises.

"Arrest the man who was just on this bridge." Dandalo yelled over the intercom.

Bucky zoomed in to look at the package. 

Dandalo pulled the package out of Bucky's grip but he grab the package and looked in. 

The room became suddenly still. Voices scratched like an echo. Bucky put his human hand in the box and touch the contents. The box was full of hair. The box was full of Natalie's bright red hair. Bucky put his cybernetic hand into the box and came up with a handful. He brushed her hair along his cheek and smelled. There was no mistake, it was her hair.

"They're just using her as leverage... Bucky...don't." Steve said.

Bucky couldn't hear a thing. He looked at her hair in his hand, her silky hair, her beautiful hair and he imagined… he looked at his cybernetic hand. The hologram faded from the arm exposing the true metal. A whimper escape from his lips as he tried to control.

"Bucky... no." Steve yelled. He had not seen the arm, metal exposed, for years. Bucky's arm change color - it sparkled - it shimmered with electricity. Trails of lights shot up and down the arm.

"Buck... what are you doing?" Steve yelled.

Bucky watched with big eyes as his metal hand made a fist. He raised his fist to eye level. His whimper grew louder and stronger.

"Buck... control it. You know the power of this ship. Buck... no....Stop... Buck don't do it. You're going to kill yourself."

Buck's human hand slipped a wad of Natalie's hair into his pocket. His cybernetic arm glowed and Dandalo squinted at the light. The bridge lit up like an atomic reaction. Buck's voice was as loud as the light was bright. He put his metal fist to his forehead. Cap watched as Bucky seemed to glow from within. The veins distended up his neck and across his temples. All the muscles of his body tightened and he raised his face, opened his mouth wide and yelled an explosion of what sounded like the gates of hell opening. Bucky disappeared from sight. The light shot from the room. One, two, three, four, five, six seconds passed. Steve, tried to organize, glanced at the open door to the bridge. He slapped his hand on the AutoShip communicator.

"Lockdown!" he yelled. "Code white!"

The bridge door slammed shut.

Dandalo watched in horror.

"Hovercraft bay door #6 has been opened," the computer announced.

"Shut it!" Steve said.

"Hovercraft #6 has been deployed," the computer explained.

"Open communication with Hovercraft 6." Dandalo ordered.

"Hovercraft #6 does not respond."

The Hovercraft became visible from the bridge.

"Damn!" Steve shouted into the microphone with anger. "Answer me! Bucky! Answer me now."

There was no response. All eyes were on the Hovercraft. Confused by the sight of Hovercraft 6 glowing bright - brighter and brighter until… the Hovercraft disappeared from sight.

Steve ran from the room. Dandalo had a mess on his hands:

"Steve do not - " Dandalo cut off. There was no way to stop him. 

Another Hovercraft zipped passed the bridge view screen.

****

Steve settled himself in Hovercraft #3, a mini ship design for speed, equipped with powerful weapons and stocked for a crew of eight. He followed Bucky's vapor trail. Steve opened communication with Buck's Hovercraft.

"Bucky answer me now." Steve pleaded. "Bucky, I'll help you, let me help." Steve left the communication open, called Tony and filled him in.

"Bucky goddamn disappeared," he said.

"He'll turn up."

"He's gone."

"You mean dematerialized?"

"No Tony, he became invisible."

"His whole body?"

"YES! His whole body and a 500,000 ton spaceship. "What did you put in that arm and didn't tell anyone?"

"Uh…" Tony said. "Just a plain old every day invisibility hologram for the arm, that's it."

"Well, he's gone." Cap whispered.

"The arm doesn't have enough power to do what you say."

"I saw it with my own eyes." Cap yelled.

"Unless…"

"Unless what?"

"You know… Barnes has his own power supply."

"Damn." Steve said. "The ILLUMINE."

"Yeah… The ILLUMINE. I'm on my way...Rogers? Rogers? Rogers?" Tony could hear noises from Cap's ship but somehow had lost communication on his end. "I'm coming to help." Tony left his communicator open.

The Hovercrafts were fast. They were soon at the outskirts of the Sigma System headed for the planet Protium.

****

The stars looked different to Bucky Barnes. He boldly headed off into the dark empty universe.

"Bucky… can you hear me ... Answer… Bucky?… Bucky answer me this minute. That's an order!… Bucky… please - " Cap broke off surprised by the emotion in his voice. He felt the futility of his endeavor. He could barely follow the vapor trail. He tried a different approach.

"I know you can hear me buddy… " Cap whispered. "Don't do this alone… Come on… Bucky?" Again his voice cracked. "I… I… Bucky?… please - " His voice rose an octave. He could talk no more. An image of Bucky entered his mind alone floating in a tin can sailing off to an unknown destination and fate.

Without warning Buck's vapor trail disappeared. Cap slowed his ship. The flag ship behind him – somewhere. Cap called Tony again. He was surprised Tony was still on the other end.

"Tony, did you happen to outfit that arm with a DNA tracker and not tell anyone?"

"… Uh… Bucky knows."

"You did! You gave the arm a DNA tracker? Well, he's got a handful over hair."

In Tony's mind Bucky's odds were improving.

"Can he hear you?"

"I think so, yes."

"Then stop torturing him." Tony spoke firmly. "He's doing what he's trained to do - what he was created to do."

Steve hated talk like that. "You bastard. Yeah, he's doing what YOU trained him to do."

"He's doing what I trained him to do, yes. He's doing what Hydra trained him to do and he's doing what you yourself trained him to do. Which is why he won't fail."

Cap was silent. Tony was right. It was not fair. Cap did not have to like it. He could wish it were otherwise but in his heart and his head he knew when the rub was on, Bucky would do the unimaginable, leaving everyone else glad to watch, happy it was not them.

"The best thing we can do right now ... Steve, can you hear me? The best thing we can do is to position ourselves, the best we can, for the cleanup - to clean up the mess – to pick up the piece. He's gonna break things."

Cap listened to Tony's convincing voice. He was smooth. He had not heard Tony talk with such compassion. Maybe his empathy classes were working. A plan took shape in Steve's mind.

"Send me a DNA tracker." Cap said.

"Do you have Bucky's DNA?"

"It's all over me."

****

Fighting broke out on the Alphine moon colony. The size of Jupiter, the moon held 100 million Omicrons and Protiums. The Quantum Force fleet ship turned back from pursuing Steve and Bucky and went to the moon desperate to restart negotiations. The fighting was so fierce that Omacron declared war on Prodium and the disaster everyone tried to avoid was upon them. Dandalo could get no one from either side to talk to anyone from the Quantum Force. Tony arrived on the flag ship via the Time Machine and sent Steve the DNA tracker.

"Thanks Tony. I'm approaching Prodium." Steve said.

"Be very careful they will track you." Tony said.

"What capacity are you involved?"

"Advisor. I am here by courtesy of Dandalo to support my team. To back you up. To get Bucky and Nat out of this. I have no official function." Tony said.

Cap wished he had invisibility as he approached the planet Protium.

"Computer?"

A female voice said, "How can I assist you."

"Find any news from the planet. Monitor radio waves, sound waves television, however they may communicate and translate into English please."

The computer read Steve the news as he did a quick survey of the Hovercraft and any assets he may have. Seemed small quarters for a crew of eight: a mess hall, a sick day with two restoration tubes and an Ai Doc: a computer application designed for medical aspects. Ai Doc had a male voice. And then there was the weapons. Not done with his weapons training Steve reviewed the specs. Steve calibrated separating out his DNA from Bucky's on a hoodie he had borrowed. Luck would have it: the hoodie had a wavy brunet hair with a follicle. 

Cap strategically approached the planet and hid in the planets magnetic fields. So far so good. He hovered over the most uninhabited area of a desert next to a large body of water. Steve carefully used the ships cloaking device and followed the DNA tracker until the tracker was hot. He saw Hovercraft #6. He landed by it in an open field with foliage on the right and left- he exited the Hovercraft and stood like a fool waiting to be apprehended: the DNA tracker was in his hand. 

Bucky came into you view 50 feet in front of him. He carried Natalie, naked, hairless and unconscious. Cap rushed to them. Bucky collapsed in his arms. Somehow, Steve got them on the ship . He set Hovercraft #6 to follow remotely and took off. He threw Nat and Bucky into separate regenerator tubes. He paid no attention to direction, to magnetic fields, to populated areas - nothing. He flipped on the ships maximum defense, auto pilot and hyper speed - to get as far away - as fast as possible. 

Natalia's injuries were severe. She was in serious condition. Ai Doc said she needed 48 hours in the regenerator tube to have a chance to live. Buck's condition was critical. He was near death. Using the invisibility hologram over his entire body for so long had damaged him extensively on a cellular level. 

Ai Doc explained. "He is in a level 4 coma."

"What's that?"

"A level 5 coma is death."

"What do we do?"

"Analyzing… Collating…"

"What about his ILLUMINE? A stimulant. What about that?"

"Activation of his ILLUMINE is his best chance for survival." Ai Doc said. "This must be done by his bodies physiology not a drug. His physiology will activate the healing powers of the ILLUMINE, if he has the will to live. If there is enough ILLUMINE left in him."

Steve knew this to be true. Buck probably had little ILLUMINE left in his body. Steve knew what Black Widow would do if she was conscious. Steve move close to Bucky's in the tube. He coughed and gagged.

"Ai Doc spoke: "Remove the patient's prosthetic arm."

"Why?"

"The arm is contaminated and needs cleaning with Gamma rays that harm human tissue. I am unable to assess the patient's mental state, therefore, he is a security risk. If the patient is not lucid the cybernetic arm could destroy the ship."

"Alright." Steve removed Bucky's arm at the shoulder. He gagged again.

"What's that smell. Is so foul. What's that stuff all over him?" 

Buck had a thick sticky substance all over. His clothing and hair were saturated.

"The 'stuff' on the patient," Ai Doc reported, "is tissue, skin, hair, stomach and intestinal tissue, bone and muscle fragments, brain and other bodily fluids belonging to the Protium race."

"Dear God… Computer? Monitor any communication from the planet Prodium. Try to find out what happened down there."

"The patient must be cleaned of this toxic exudate." Ai Doc said.

"How?"

"Bathe the patient."

"Bathe the patient?"

"Yes. Put on a hazmat suit. Collect samples of the exudate. Please follow the procedure. Remove all clothing with the power scissors. Bathe the patient's skin and hair carefully. Carefully process the contamination."

Steve got into a hazmat suit. He cut off Bucky's clothing with the power scissors. The smell was unbelievably foul and Steve gagged and held his breath.

"I need a respirator."

The regenerator tube had a bath feature that helped but the liquids were thick and sticky and hard to get out of Bucky's hair and ears, groin and under arms. After the computer bath his skin still felt slimy.

The female voice of the ships computer filled sick bay.

"An alien visitor was reported on Prodium. The alien is said to have destroyed the Northwest Detention and Experimentation facility and killed 200 (and counting) entities. (Many more are missing) in a daring attempt to rescue the political prisoner Natalia Romanova."

"Experimentation? ... Buck - Oh - Buck."

An alarm sounded.

"What's that?"

Ai Doc responded. "Blood pressure alert. The patient's blood pressure is not high enough to perfuse the kidneys or brain. Commence with a vigorous stimulating hot bath."

Steve wished with all his heart Natalie was here. He proceeded with a scrubbing of Bucky's body. He washed him three times before all the slime was off of him. The alarms stopped. He was holding his own. Steve covered Bucky with a heat sheet and took off his soiled hazmat suit, stepped back and watched. Within minutes the blood pressure alarm sounded again.

"Please stimulate the patient." Ai Doc commanded.

"What?"

"Rub the limbs. Massage the neck."

"Oh." Cap mumbled under his breath: "Dammit Natalie why aren't you here?"

Steve rubbed up Bucky's back and did passive exercises to his arms and legs. Another alarm sounded.

"The patient's blood pressure and pulse are critical."

Buck his heart rate dropped into the 40s.

"What do I do?"

"Take action."

Cap knew what Nat would do. Steve got into the tube with Bucky. Steve took Bucky's hand and rubbed it. He worked his way up his arm to his neck and he massage his neck. In frustration, he shook him.

"Buck wake up ... please ... give me a sign."

There was no sign. There was no response.

"He's so cold." Steve rubbed his skin more vigorously. Steve pulled him by his human arm to his side and rubbed his back and neck. His skin was so pale, so white it looked blue. Bucky's head flopped around like a bobble head doll. His heart rate fell below 40.

"Someone help me." Cap said to no one in particular. Steve had to get more drastic. He took off his own shirt and put his bare skin in direct communication with Bucky's skin.

"Wake up please."

Steve took Bucky into his arms and held him and rubbed his back and moved his arms and legs. He pressed his face on Bucky's neck and pressed his cheeks to Bucky's. Nothing was happening except the incessant beep of the heart rate monitor alarm.

"Buck wake up… Buck come back… Buck answer me." He got no response. In fact Buck his heart rate went down to 32. Steve took off the rest of his clothing and held Bucky like a lover. He pulled at his ears and other tender areas. He rubbed his ass and groin. Steve kissed Bucky on the neck and chest and rubbed him down the back. Steve rolled his hands over Bucky's firm ass.

"Come on man, feel me. I'm here with you."

Steve held him by the hair behind his ears and looked at him. 

"I'm here... I'm with you." Steve said and he kissed his sweet mouth. Steve teared up. Steve kissed him again and pressed his body to Bucky's.

"Heart rate 30 beats per minute." Ai Doc said.

Steve knew a heart rate that low causes brain damage. Steve kissed his ears, licked and sucked his nipples and put his finger in Buck's mouth stimulating his tongue. He went for all of the erogenous zones.

"Heart rate critical," said Ai Doc. 

Cap spread Bucky's legs and massage his groin and ass. Steve became aroused with an erection and flushed face. He knew it was wrong but he could not help himself.

"Bucky ... I love you… Buck ... I want you. Buck...wake up… Open your eyes." Cap worked him over.

"I think he feels warmer."

"Body temperature 96°"

Steve laid Bucky out flat again. He moved the 200 pound soldier around like he weighed 50 pounds. Steve straddled over Bucky. He laid on him and rubbed his hard penis on Bucky's flaccid one. He knew Nat would be doing the same thing if she were able. He kissed him repeatedly. Steve spread Bucky's legs and knelt between them. With both hands, Steve stroked Bucky's testicles and penis over and over. Steve put his hands on the small of Bucky's back and cupped his ass with his hands. He rested Buck's lower back on Steve's bent knees and spread his butt cheeks exposing Bucky's virgin anus.

"Oh …" Steve sighed when he saw the tight pink rosette. 

Steve rubbed his hands up Bucky's penis that had become engorged with blood. The head could be seen exiting the foreskin. His testicles shrunk up into the shaft of the penis and the blood vessels on both sides were distended.

"I think he's responding."

"No." said Ai Doc. "That is a reflex." 

His testicles disappeared almost into the shaft and the head was fully exposed. Like Bucky's face, his cock had remained like that of a 20-year-old. Steve ran his hand along both sides of the shaft.

"Oh my God." He circled his thumb around Bucky's anus and pressed his thumb hard on the center. Buck took a deep breath. Cap had found the key. The one thing Buck had been able to protect.

"What?" Steve said to no one. He circled the anus again with his thumb and pressed with more force on the center. Buck took another deep breath.

"Is that a response?"

"Yes. Legitimately." Responded Ai Doc.

Steve slid the head of his penis, moist with pre-cum, over Buck's tight virgin anus. He pressed firmly, repeatedly, with force, and determination, but did not enter him. He read Trine's report that Buck did not want that. He pressed him forcefully with his penis. Bucky's eyes fluttered. Steve stroked Bucky's penis with one hand and pressed on the door of the anus with the head of his hard as a rock penis. Buck moaned with each thrust. Bucky's hand touched Steve's thigh.

Buck spoke, "Alyosha?" he mumbled.

"Yes! Yes!" Steve kissed Bucky and Buck kissed him back. 

Bucky opened his eyes and spoke. "Steve? ... What are you doing?"

"I'm fucking you up the ass - you better wake up." Steve pumped away at Buck's anus a few more times. 

So wet, so slick, so hot, so dangerously close to penetrating him Steve lost control of his body; he changed position. He straddled over Bucky and rubbed his hard cock on Bucky's hard cock.

"Ah..." Steve moaned, this was just as hot, just as slick. He circled the small of Bucky's back with his massive arms and raise his pelvis to meet his thrust. He grabbed Bucky by the neck and kissed him. 

Buck cupped Steve's ass with his one hand and he made a weak attempt at kissing Steve back. On Steve's upthrust Buck looked each time at the two large cocks rubbing on each other.

"Oh… Oh…" Buck's breathing quickened. The alarms were silent.  
"I… I… Don't think I can stop it…"

"Don't try."

Buck came. 

Steve watched. He couldn't help himself either. He yelled out with his own orgasm. Steve moved slow on Buck caressing him. 

Buck became still: his breathing shallow. 

Steve held him close and felt that he was not breathing.

"Don't go back to sleep Bucky."

Buck took a gasp of air. "Where's Natalie?"

"She's in the other tube. She'll be okay in a few days. It was you that was critical."

Buck snuggled into Steve's warm wet body. 

Steve's release was no less ecstatic and he pressed Bucky's warm skin with his and breathed on Bucky's hot neck and rubbed his face on Bucky's cheeks.

"Oh Buck ...I love you ... I love you."

"I know ... " Buck said, "but I didn't think you loved me like this."

"I don't... I had to do something to get a rise out of you." Steve halted his caresses. He thought a minute.

"Do you love me like this?" Steve looked Buck in the eye.

"I love you every way possible to love someone." Buck sounded a little delirious. "I care for you like my garden. We're like the wind and the trees ... But you're not a turn on to me." Rumbled out of the Buck's barely open mouth.

Steve stopped and pulled back. His face flushed and he felt like that 98 pound weakling again. Is that how Bucky saw him still? He glanced at his enlarged cock- large even after discharge.

"What do you think just happened here?" Steve said in a loud voice. "I turned you on from a level four coma!"

Bucky's flat expression turned a little sly as he process the situation.

"You may have a point there." Bucky smiled with a twinkle in his eye. "Give us your best kiss and will see," he said.

Steve approached him slowly and looked into Bucky's dancing eyes. Steve lingered on Bucky's flushed face and eyes dilated with emotion. He never looked at anyone directly in the eye for any extended length of time. If he had, he would have noticed Bucky's eyes were as beautiful and mysterious as the planet that birthed him.

"Oh…" Steve moved closer. The sly smile left Bucky's lips and was replaced by a touching vulnerability. His mouth alone could break your heart. How could he look like this just after killing hundreds. Steve shut his eyes and kissed him.

"See ... I told you ... Nothing ... You do nothing for me." Buck said.

Shocked, Steve said, "let me try again."

They kissed again.

"It's no use." Buck said.

Steve let go of Bucky and headed out the tube.

"Don't leave." Bucky said and the one armed man hooked his arm around Steve. He curled his body around him and rubbed his face and lips on Steve's chest. Steve held him and supported his head, back and shoulders. He felt the weakness in him. Steve held Bucky's head with his hand. He rubbed his hand through Bucky's hair and held his face to his chest. Steve fought tears.

Steve felt Bucky relax.

"Ai Doc? Is he asleep or in a coma again?"

"The patient is asleep."

An hour past. Bucky woke. He held onto Steve with what little strength he had. He moved one finger over Steve's bare back to let him know he was being touched. He moved his lips gently over Steve's chest. 

"You know ... you'd qualify for the Quantum Force now." Buck whispered and glanced at Steve.

"Yeah, yeah I would, would night?" Steve sounded excited. "I get it now." Steve held Bucky's head with one hand. 

Buck clung to him like he was absorbing Steve's lifeforce. His mouth open and his teeth touched Steve's skin. He nibbled at him. He kissed on him. Buck could not hold his head up but they managed to look at each other for a glance. 

Steve stroked Buck slowly down his back over his hip, over his ass and down his thigh and back up. Over and over many times. He held his face by Buck's and kissed him little kisses on his neck and cheek. Steve did get it.

"I could do this all day, Buck, but I need to run the ship. I'll be back in a half hour. Okay?" Steve said. 

Bucky released him and rolled onto the heat sheet; instantly asleep. 

Cap felt pain in his chest when he separated from skin to skin contact with Bucky. He touched Buck's head and petted his hair still damp from his passion. Steve had so many feelings. He stood back and looked at his friend asleep with the heat sheet covering him. He felt liberated from something. All at once he knew everything would be okay.

****

Back to reality, Steve stared out into the blackness of space. He took an inventory of the ship. The Hovercraft sped towards an unknown destination. He slowed the ship down. 

"Initiate a 24 hour day please. Call out the time each hour. Half light and half volume from 2100 to 0700 starting now."

"What time would you like it to be now, sir?" the computer asked.

Steve Rogers was exhausted. Some sleep was an order.

"12 midnight."

"Initiated."

The lights dimmed to half light. Steve looked at their position and called Tony and filled him in.

"Where are you?"

"I'm here with Dandalo on the flag ship. We're orbiting the Alphane moon, you know, the one everyone's fighting about. There's warring on the planet. No one will talk to us after what Barnes did on Protium. Hell, they didn't talk to us before. I'm working on it. I know it had to be done. We had to have her." Tony said.

"She was near death when he got to her." Cap mumbled.

"Join us at once."

"We've been traveling in the opposite direction at TopSpeed for hours. I don't know where the hell I am." Steve did know where he was he just felt a little lost.

"I'll send our coordinates. Contact me every four hours with your status."

Four hours of sleep sounded just the ticket. Cap passed Bucky. He reached in the tube and felt Bucky's warm face and glanced at his life sign monitor.

"The patient is stable." Ai Doc said.

Steve did the same with Natalie with the same results.

Steve passed out as soon as his head hit the cot. He snored. Being a light sleeper he woke a few hours later. He heard movement in the mess hall area of the ship. The ship was so small, everything was practically within arms reach, so he peeked out. Bucky, dressed in white drawstring pants and Kimono style medical shirt with two ties on the side tied sloppily together (like something a man with one arm would do) sat with is human hand resting on a small round white table inches away from a handgun. A burst of adrenaline shot through Steve. He approached with caution: as quiet as a 200 pound man can move. Cap sat across the table from Bucky. Buck looked at the gun and looked at Cap. His eyes were glazed. Buck looked a million miles away - in another world. Steve could only imagine what reality he was reliving. Steve should have never left him alone, he thought.

"What's the gun for?" Steve spoke in his most non-threatening voice.

"It's yours."

"Why?"

"You're unarmed."

Steve glanced around the area. The hum and click and squeak of interstellar space flight graded on his nerves.

"To use for what?"

"To use on me... At anytime… For any reason." Buck said this like it was a quote. He stared at the gun.

"Is that how it was?" Steve mumbled. A chill crept across his heart.

"That's the rule." Buck said.

Steve picked up the gun. It was loaded with the safety off. He put the safety on and popped the clip out and put it in his pocket. He laid the gun where he found it. Bucky followed his movements and rested his gaze on the gun. Still beside him, Steve questioned if he should touch him or not. He decided not to touch him. A touch could be misinterpreted. In the state he was in, anyone could do anything to him they wanted.

"Look at me soldier."

Buck looked him directly in the eye. He was squirrley alright.

"Will you obey me?"

"I will obey."

"Go lay down in the restoration tube." Steve said. Banner wouldn't like it but Steve saw no reason to wake him.

Bucky immediately got into the tube and laid down. He was stiff with apprehension. His eyes were glazed and he mumbled something unintelligible.

"What did you say?"

"Don't you want me…"

"What!?" Steve looked at Bucky's imploring eyes.

"Do you want me to do something?" Buck moved his hand across the chest down his leg.

"No... We're done ... for the day," Steve stammered. "Now shut your eyes."

Buck did but he open them right back up. This time he looked at Cap like he recognized him.

"You said you were my friend and you would prove it with your life."

"I did say that. You remember." Steve spoke softly.

Bucky laid in the tube but his body was tense and his hand in a fist. Steve touched his hand and placed it on his chest making Buck's fingers spread out and relax.

"That's all. You can go to sleep now." Steve knew it was wrong. He was supposed to say, 'Buck wake up you're sleepwalking again', but he didn't have the heart.

"Shut your eyes and relax."

Cap instructed Ai Doc to buzz him if Bucky left the restoration tube in the future. He secured the firearms and directed the computer to notify him if the weapons case was opened for any reason. He got a drink of water and went back to bed. He could not get what just happened out of his mind. Bucky's face haunted him. The image of his friend and the knowledge that it was his job to arm his handlers to shoot him at any time if he disobeyed them. He lived like that year after year after year. Emotions exploded from Steve's chest. Steve grabbed his mouth with both hands. A God awful noise escaped from his closed off mouth followed by spasms up his diaphragm and the tears flowed. He tried to control but he could not. Emotions ripped out of him and he sat on the side of the bed and breathe deep as wave after wave hit him. He felt a release like he had never felt before and he remembered a time when Buck said jokingly that it felt good to cry, hell, maybe it did. The Hovercraft was small enough to see all around the ship and into sick bay from the bed. He laid his head on the foot of the bed where he could see the restoration tubes. His breathing relaxed. Having Bucky in plain sight relaxed him and he fell asleep.

****

"0900." The computer announced.

Steve's eyes flew open. The area was brightly lit. Bucky's regenerator tube was empty and the heat sheet crumpled up at the foot. Cap moved around and saw Bucky sitting by Natalie's regenerator tube. He joined them.

"Hey." Steve slid his hand across Bucky's back and shoulders to his neck. Bucky lean into Steve's touch and pulled him close. This is how it was with them now and this is how it was going to stay.

"Look." Buck pointed to the regenerator tubes graphics. "She is predicted to come out in 20 hours. See the countdown?"

Buck seemed in his right mind. His eyes were clear and shiny. The corners of his mouth turned up into what Nat called the one-of-a-kind Bucky mouth. Steve smile back.

"And look... you can see a shadow of red on her head."

Sure enough, the first sprigs of hair could be seen (like a halo) on her head.

"Hungry?" Steve asked.

"I don't know. Thirsty for sure."

"Come on. Let's see what they've got."

"I don't…"

"You can see in here from anyplace on the ship."

Buck went with Steve. They ate, whatever it was. They had no idea. Some kind of fruit pectin and maybe some kind of nut butter. Probably some kind of protein because they filled up fast. Whatever the food was it was agreeable and agreed with their stomachs. They drank a thin sweet green liquid. Bucky relaxed and tried to pick something out from under his fingernail with his thumb.

"Your cybernetic arm has been serviced. I can get it for you and attach it if you want?"

"No! I don't want it." Bucky yelled. "I mean ... no ... I'm fine like I am. I don't want the arm."

"Suit yourself."

Buck resumed work on his fingernails. "What's this stuff under my nails?"

"You don't know?"

Bucky shrugged.

"How did you get her out Buck?"

Bucky thought about Steve's question a long time. Damned if he knew.

"I can almost… I don't know."

"Did you activate the video recorder on your arm?"

"I may have."

"Wanna have a look?"

Buck looked like he just ran into a bug zapper.

"Okay." Bucky rubbed his head and looked at his fingers and at the sticky substance.

"Let's take care of that first. There must be some kind of clothing around here someplace." The medical garb Bucky had on must have been made from some form of paper because it was ripping at the joints. Bucky took a hot shower and found some suitable clothing. Standard Quantum Force attire: white with gray trim and the black insignia, comfortable, warm and clean.

Steve fooled around trying to attach the arm to a monitor.

"I don't know if this'll work…" Steve said.

"Tony interfaced with their system before he got the Time Machine. So you don't have to do that. The arm will display the image on its own. Here." Buck put the arm between his legs and took it apart with one hand and a bit of leverage.

"Watch. It will display in 3-D."

Steve laughed at the overactive mind of Tony Stark. Bucky sat the three adjacent pieces of the arm and a beam converged in the middle. The image appeared 120° in front of Buck. He could be seen clearly: the floating rhythmic flow of his determined steps. He could be seen looking at the tracker embedded in the wrist. He approached a facility and was met with resistance. Bright laser explosions whited out the view a few times. Bucky returned fire with something from his arm Cap had not seen before and conventional bullets. The firing from both sides escalated as Barnes approached the building. The Prodiums must be strangely composed. Even one bullet, even hitting an extremity, popped the creature open like the entity was full of fluid with a thin skin. They popped different colors and textures and popped into a slimy puddle. More and more entities came and Buck fired from his cybernetic arm and shot from a gun. It was a bloodbath: like shooting water balloons at the carnival. But their brains… Buck covered his face with his forearm.

"Oh God… Oh God…"

Steve grabbed his arm and pulled him to a standing position.

"Look at me." Steve held Bucky's arm and pointed at him with his finger. "You go in there and sit by her and you tell yourself all this was worth it. Because it was… 100 times over… 500 times worth it. I'll watch the rest of the recording and file the report. Now go." Steve said and he pushed Bucky toward Natalia's restoration tube.

By the time Steve returned to the recording, Bucky was inside the building. The carnage continued. Buck brutally ripped out hearts with his cybernetic fist. He smashed brains. Every movement was designed to kill. He saw her – naked - unconscious – shaved head – violated – he went mad. He mutilated the entities. He ripped off arms, legs, heads. Not wanting to fire so close to Natalie he disarmed one entity of a small sword and hacked away with that. A forceful strike of his flesh fist stop them but his metal arm went right through them. He killed everyone: military, guards, medical personnel, security. And when there was no one left to kill, he picked her up. He activated the invisibility hologram on his arm. It sparkled and glowed. He placed his fist on his forehead and they disappeared. There was little resistance on the way out but Steve heard the crackle and squish of the broken bodies beneath Bucky's boots. Bucky and Nat became visible in the field where Steve found them. He saw himself come into view. He saw himself try to bathe Bucky all the way up to removing his arm. Somehow the recorder was turned off during the decontamination process. Steve wrote and filed the report and talked with Tony. He joined Bucky and Nat and stood behind him.

"Where are we headed?" Bucky asked.

"We're to rendezvous with the flagship. Tony is on board."

"Great. Where is it?"

"Orbiting the Alphane moon."

"How long?"

"30 hours."

"Good. She'll be awake by then."

"There's fierce fighting on the moon. We should rest up. We're flying into a war zone."

"That's such a shame. The place was beautiful."

Natalie moved around in the tube and seemed to be in a lighter sleep.

"Ai Doc, can I go in the tube with her? Even if for a few minutes?"

"Yes." Ai Doc said. "One hour to start. She needs a combination of stimulation and rest."

"Got it."

As reality would have it, AI Doc's prediction was inaccurate. Natalia Romanova woke up in 10 hours. Bucky laid with her one hour in and one hour out. The last thing she remembered was falling asleep in her hotel room at the convention center on Omicron. At 15 hours, she hung on Bucky but walked around the ship. At 20 hours she ate a full meal.

Bucky seemingly forgot about ruminating over the 200+ creatures he slaughtered. He focused on Nat and he did not take his eyes off her. In fact, Steve forgot that he and Buck disobeyed Quantum Force orders, stole a hovercraft and ran off breaking intergalactic treaties to set her free. His eyes did not leave her either.

On approach to the Alphane moon, active explosions could be seen on the moon surface by the heat seeking monitor on board the Hovercraft. They docked in the bay of the flag ship and disembarked. Tony and Dandalo met the three travelers at the decontamination booth. Tony wasted no time speaking firmly to Cap and Bucky: they were noncombatants on this enterprise. 

"Your case will be reviewed by the Quantum Force board. We're going down to the surface to the secure command center, you know, where are you guys took your training. Nat will return to her duties with the other leaders. Barnes stays with her and Steve you're with me."

"What's your role?" Natalie asked Tony.

"Advisor only."

"What's the situation?" she asked.

"After your rescue and what you did." Tony nodded to Bucky. "Things escalated to the use of WMDs. Thabre and other experts in the area have been called in. We have a fresh communication with the Omicrons - just initiated - nothing with the Protiums."

"What kind of WMDs are we talkin' about?" Nat said.

"Only chemical ... so far and one dirty bomb..." Tony said.

They had a few minutes to go to their quarters put on proper uniforms and pack a bag. Natalia saw herself in a mirror for the first time.

"Maybe it will grow back curly. I heard that happens." Bucky said.

"That's sweet Angel but that's an old wives tale."

"How about a hat?" Bucky handed her the standard Quantum Force cap. That wasn't doing it.

"What about I wear one too," he said.

They stood looking at themselves in the mirror. "Not bad if you wear yours." Natalie turned and rubbed her hand on her one armed lover. "When are you gonna reattach your arm?"

"I don't want it." He pulled away from her. "I'm not wearing it anymore."

She stopped him from walking away.

"I understand… I really do." She made him look at her. "But you have to make a promise to me. Baby ... listen. If the shit goes down, James Buchanan Barnes, if this situation goes south you'll put on the arm to defend your life."

"You're right… I will… I really will… I promise."

Natalie cozied up to him and played in his hair. His eyelids fluttered.

"When we get home we can ask Tony to make you a new arm, you know, just an arm."

"An arm that feels ... because I need two arms to hold you."

They embraced. Steve pounded on the door and came in.

"The shuttle is leaving."

Natalie put Bucky's cybernetic arm into a mesh bag with a long strap and made Bucky strap the bag across his chest.

"That arm is to be on you at all times. That's an order." Nat said.

"I love when you boss me… That's a total turn on."

"Cut it out – come on." Steve laughed.

Bucky saluted her and they ran out the door.

****

On the moon things were chaotic everywhere but the Quantum Force enclave. There everything ran by procedure, precedence and policy. Natalie and Bucky were whisked away to the command center. Tony and Steve's job, at the moment, was to wait until needed.

Thabre and other Torns were allowed to speak in person with some officials on the Protium side. No Quantum Force. No Omacron delegates, only Torns.

"Thabre's talking to them now?" Steve asked.

"They left a few minutes ago." Tony said.

"Isn't that taking a lot of risk?"

"The Torns are not members or affiliated with the Quantum Force in anyway except Dandalo's new appointment. Thabre is a specialist in the area of WMDs. The Protiums won't speak to the Quantum Force."

"Because of Bucky?"

"Because he succeeded in his mission." Tony said with pride. "Yeah, they're embarrassed and emboldened. The Torns have a good reputation with the Protiums. Then there's the Thabre/Bucky thing..."

****

They waited hours.

Steve got restless and went to the lounge area. There were partitions around and some couples were behind them being casually familiar with each other's bodies. Cap heard this was common practice and encourage for stress during times of war but he had never seen anything like it: he had only been there for one week. He drank a creamy white drink that tastes like coconut and tried to ignore some of the pleasure noises he heard. He could see the silhouette of two men behind a partition. They came at eachother like they were trying to eat eachother. One man's shirt was open and his pants were loose around his hips. The other man, a red head, had one hand on the guys chest and the other hand down the back of his pants. Most of the man's superfine ass was exposed. They kissed passionately. Super fine ass? Without much thought in the matter, some instinct drove Steve in for a closer look. The redhead was kissing was Bucky. Steve saw red. By the time Steve got to them the redhead had knelt in front of Bucky and had his face buried in Bucky's pubic hair. Buck moaned in the throes of passion.

"What are you doing?" Steve said.

Neither man answered but the redhead stopped his dissent on Buck and started kissing up his abdomen. The redhead glanced at Steve and said:

"Is he yours?… He consented."

Buck grabbed him by his thick red hair with his one arm and kissed him with great force. He looked the redhead in the eye and mumbled:

"Don't mind him. He's okay." 

The guy kissed Buck back and went back to stroking Bucky's ass and kissing down his neck but his eyes glanced over at Steve frequently. 

"Come on now… You're in no shape -" Steve reasoned. He should have figured Bucky could act out but he didn't.

"You know this is how things are done around here… Oh God… Oh God –" Buck said.

"What? You can't say no?"

"He asked - I said yes. He's a T-bone...I know him."

"Stop now." Steve spoke in casual english.

"But I want to." Buck continued his relentless pursuit of the redhead.

Steve could see the redhead was young and handsome and could clearly see the moment had passed. He pulled away from Bucky.

"You should stay. He'll leave. Please stay." Buck came on to the T-bone and kissed the man's full lips.

"Maybe some other time – no hard feelings." The redhead zipped up his trousers, grabbed his bag and left.

Steve looked at Bucky who panted near the wall.

"He has a partner." Cap reasoned.

"Killed by the dirty bomb...I know what I'm doing." Buck glanced at Steve.

"No you don't ... He has a back up."

"Killed early this morning."

Buck backed up against the wall and touched himself on the abdomen. Still breathing deeply, he shut his eyes. 

Steve stood right next to him. "You're in shock Buck."

"This is how we handle shock around here. I thought you got it."

Steve could see Bucky was upset but he said: "I don't get why you said yes."

"I wanted to… I wanted to ruin myself on him." Buck said.

"What?" 

Steve moved in and touched Buck on his back and chest. Buck immediately grabbed Cap's hand and massaged it into his chest. He moved Cap's hand up to the side of his neck: obviously in mental pain. He squeezed Cap's hand and arm and held him tight. Buck could not speak but shook his head no vigorously. Cap held Buck's face still and studied him closely. Cap knew his mental state had improved - better than this. His confidence in his friend grew every day.

"Hey ... look at me… You can ruin yourself later, can't you?" Steve said in a calm reassuring voice.

Bucky took awhile to respond but he smiled a slight smile and looked at Steve. 

Steve continued to rub his back and neck and give him physical support.

"What did you come in here for anyway?" Steve said.

"Natalie sent me for a protein drink... That guy was crying." Bucky glanced where the redheaded T-bone had exited.

"I know you can focus." Steve smiled.

Steve buttoned up the one armed man's shirt and snapped his pants.

"Stick by me." Steve said. Buck nodded in agreement. Steve picked up his arm and put the strap over Bucky's shoulder.

Buck went to the lounge dispensary and made two protein drinks.

"Want one?" he said to Steve.

"Sure."

"Here." Buck handed Cap the drink.

The glass exploded in Steve's hand. His hands flew to his ears.

Bucky grabbed his head.

They hit the deck.

A trickle of blood ran from Bucky's nose and ears.

Steve threw up on the floor. 

Bucky yelled out. He was overtaken by fits of hysterical laughter and shouting. He felt his eyes were going to explode from his head. He wiggled and thrashed on the floor. 

Pink liquid ran from Cap's eyes.

Buck managed to get his cybernetic arm out of the bag.

Steve understood, saw what Buck was doing and helped get Buck's cybernetic arm securely attached at the shoulder.

Bucky activated the force field on his cybernetic arm. He grabbed Steve and pulled him to his side under the protective umbrella of the field. There was some relief behind the force field but not much. Buck tried to pull another warrior under the shield but the warriors head cracked open before their eyes and his brains slid out on the floor. 

They could not make out what was being said - what was being shouted over the intercom.

"What is it?" Steve yelled. "What did it say?" 

Steve hugged on to Bucky's back.

"Sonic attack." Bucky secured Steve's arms around him and headed down the hall to the Command Center - to Tony - to Nat.

Dead bodies littered the halls. Hemorrhaged from the eyes, their ears, their mouth. Some with exploded heads like the man in the longue.

Buck saw the distinctive red hair of the young T-bone he had been with in the lounge lying on the floor. Buck grabbed him by the foot and slid him under the forcefield. A smear of blood followed. The man flipped over face up. The T-bones skull was intact but his brains protruded from his eye sockets, nose and mouth. Steve made Buck look and Buck let him go.

"I told you to stay with me." Buck said to the dead redhead.

Bucky broke down the command center door. Tony (suited) had activated his own force field with the same technology as Bucky's arm and protected a group of commanders in the corner of the room: Natalie and Dandalo among them.

The attacks stopped as quickly as it had started. Dandalo was least affected and was the first to reach the control panels and computers.

"Sonic attack! Fools! They killed their own people!" Dandalo's eyes wild with emotion. "Computers are useless."

Tony stood by Dandalo analyzing his own data stream from his suit. 

"Two hundred km in all directions. The flag ship should be unaffected. First data in looks like we lost 60% materials and 90% personnel."

"How many did we have down here?" Bucky asked.

"75. 25 from each ship." Tony answered. "But all three captains are dead."

Tony, Dandalo and Nat work to get the computers back up. It looked hopeless. Cap and Bucky searched the grounds for survivors - equally hopeless. Sick bay equipment had exploded. Dandalo establish communication with the Torn delegation to Protium.

"Protium suffered catastrophic losses has called a cease-fire. Omacron agreed to halt all hostilities. Omacron is withdrawing from the Alphane moon. They said, 'If Prodium wants the moon bad enough to kill 100 million of its own people they can have it. We're leaving'. And it looks like they are." Tony said.

"The Torn delegation is on their way here. Even though the Androgyns seem to be resistant to the effects of the sonic attack they have injuries and need our medical facilities. As if they are working." Dandalo explained.

"We searched the medical facilities. It was like a blowout. Nothing working." Buck reported.

"Looks like Natalia is the senior official here on the ground. All Quantum Force officials are dead." Dandalo said.

"We're going to the ship - pull back and regroup - get the wounded and the Torn delegation to the ship. Do we have communication with the flag ship?"

"Not from here." Dandalo waved over the destroyed equipment.

"Tony?"

"I'll see." Tony initiated communication with the flag ship.

"Do we have communication with Omicron or Protium?" she said.

"None whatsoever."

"How long before the Torn delegation arrives?"

"Unknown. They repeat their need for medical support." Dandalo looked puzzled.

"Evacuate now - Tony, order up two Hovercrafts for us. Dandalo, we will outfit you with personnel. You can take a Hovercraft immediately and pick up your team. Let's move. I want everyone checked out medically."

The team and two lower level Quantum Force officials returned to the flag ship. The ship was undamaged. 

On the bridge, Bucky stood right by Cap, close enough to smell him. This is right where Steve wanted him to be. 

Natalia Romanova took the command chair and took command. She organize the bridge crew, reassured the contingent, communicated with Dandalo and Tony on the Hovercraft: all at the same time. Buck and Cap looked at her.

"You guys get checked out medically. Get cleaned up, eat and take a break. I want you back here in a half hour rested and sharp." Natalie turned her back on them and ordered the communication officer, "Open communication with Omacron and Protium."

Steve and Bucky were cleared by medical and went to their quarters, showered, changed and ate. Steve laid on the bed and Bucky laid on the couch for a power nap.

"Don't stay there. You can't stretch out on that. Come by me." Steve said.

Buck laid on the narrow bed with Steve. Their shoulder, arm, hand and foot touched. They stared at the ceiling. Steve had no scientific proof but he felt like Bucky would be okay if he was smack up against him. At least within arms length of Cap's aura.

"You smell a lot better." Bucky said.

"So do you." Steve said. "Are you going to shut your eyes?"

"That's the order." Bucky was not eager to see what he knew he would see if he shut his eyes. "Aren't you going to shut your eyes?"

"Yeah, yeah, sure."

"You first." Buck said.

"Me first?"

"Yeah, you shut your eyes and then I'll shut my eyes."

"Buck come on."

"No. No. You first."

"Okay." Steve shut his eyes. "My eyes are shut."

Buck took a few deep breaths, relax his body and did some progressive relaxation.

"Your eyes aren't shut." Steve said.

"How do you know my eyes are shut if you have your eyes shut?"

"I sense your eyes are not shut."

"You can sense whether my eyes are open or shut?" Bucky said.

"Yeah, I feel your eyes are wide open," Steve said.

"Alright, alright, I'll shut my eyes."

Bucky shut his eyes.

"Are they shut?" Steve asked.

"Don't you know?"

"I think they're shut." Steve said.

Bucky stared at the ceiling. He heard Steve snoring softly in 30 seconds flat. Bucky cover him with a blanket and he shut his eyes for real.

****

A loud snore woke Steve. Bucky jerked awake. Two hours had passed.

"James Barnes report to the bridge." Blasted over the intercom.

As if he wasn't there, sticking him with elbows and knees, Bucky rolled over top of Steve.

"Ouch...Ut ... Oh..." Steve vocalized.

Buck flew out the door - Steve close behind him.

Commander Natalia Romanova paced in front of the widescreen vision window of the flagship of the Quantum Force. The Alphane moon was no longer on the vision screen. She rattled off orders through her headset and directed the bridge crew. When she saw Steve and Bucky she pointed at Steve and headed towards them. She slipped off her headset. She handed the headset to Steve.

"Relieve me. Review the record for the events of the two hours."

"Heading?"

"Torn."

Natalie walked with Bucky in the hall.

"Dandalo successfully rescued the Torn delegation. Seems it was Thabre who dismantled the sonic separator shutting down the attack or we'd all be dead.

"Thabre? What?"

Natalie stopped in the hall and grabbed Bucky.

"Thabre is damaged beyond repair from the act. Everyone has done everything they can. Angel, Thabre wants to see you… "

"Me?"

"Yes, you. When Dandalo asked why Thabre did such a daring thing, Thabre said it was because you were on the Alphane moon."

"Oh."

The door to sick bay swung open. All attending were silent, sober and still. Their eyes lead Bucky to where Thabre laid. Bucky rush to Thabre's side. The heart monitor beeped once every three seconds. Thabre did not move but the eye iris spun with color when Thabre saw Bucky. Buck sat on the bed and leaned over Thabre.

"I wanted to see you."

"I'm here." Buck leaned closer and stared into Thabre's hypntonic eyes and it was just like the first time he looked into Thabre's eyes and didn't want to look away. Bucky smiled and touched Thabre's arm as if they were on the sofa in Tony's cinema room at Solaris. This is what Thabre wanted and he smiled until pain overtook his expression. 

"How could you make such a sacrifice?" Buck said.

"You know I love you, don't you?" Thabre's eyes turned royal blue and moist.

"I do ... and I love you back. I loved you from the first." Bucky confessed. "I didn't know what to do with it. I couldn't…"

"Then love me now and quickly." Thabre said.

Bucky took Thabre in his arms and they kissed. They kissed again, stopped and looked at each other. Thabre's eyes danced with all the fire of a sun exploding across a huge expanse that could hold the universe. Buck became lost in Thabre's eyes.

"One moment of your love was worth it." Thabre said.

Overcome with passion for each other they kissed again.

Bucky held Thabre in his arms.

"I die for you." Thabre said.

"I'm so sorry I couldn't love you before. Why couldn't I love you? I wanted to. It would have been so easy. It would've taken no time at all. Why couldn't I break free from what held me back from you. I love you." Buck looked into the eyes of Thabre and watch the cascading color parade stop; the shine and brightness fade; the universe go black and flat as coal.

"Thabre is gone Angel."

"No. No." Bucky whispered. "How can I live with such regret?" 

Bucky did not let anyone touch Thabre. He held Thabre's body close trying to keep the warmth from leaving the body. Natalie sat down by them. Bucky looked at her like it was her fault.

"I would never restrict you," she said.

Bucky loosened his grip on Thabre. "I know. It was inside of me. My fears. My beliefs. My prejudices. That's what stopped me. Not you." Bucky let go of the body.

"Good. There's things the Torns have to do with the body."

Bucky stood by her.

"This won't happen again." Bucky spoke softly. "I won't let this happen again. I swear over Thabre's dead body. If I love someone they're gonna know it."

The Androgyns descended on the body of Thabre. Natalie and Buck were pushed back into the hall. Bucky did not walk down the hall instead he stood outside the door and leaned against the wall. He took his hands off the wheel and drifted.

"Angel?" Natalie stood close to him. She swore he could feel her breath on his chest. She looked up at him and waited for him to touch her first.

"Angel?" she repeated.

He stared into her eyes a long time. No explosions of color. No hypnotic swirls. He saw none of the dazzle but he saw something else, something constant, something unchangeable.

"We're going home," she said.

Home seemed a lifetime away. An impossible place to get to from where he was.

"Home," she said to him but did not touch him. 

The word knocked into him like being hit by a twelve foot wave.

"I forgot," he whispered. The corners of his sweet as candy mouth turned up and he caressed each side of the red stubble that was her hair. His eyes twinkled as he held her face to his chest and brushed his lips over the top of her head. She held him and sunk into his warm.

****

Quantum Force: Alphane Moon Maneuver Epologue

Even though Omicron was a sister planet to Protium, Omicron broke off all contact with Protium. Other intergalactic agencies sent help and aid to the moon disaster. A death toll on this scale had not happened anywhere in the Milky Way galaxy for over 200 years. Omicron announced their intended evacuation of the moon as soon as they found a suitable planet two transfer their 50 million people, that were left alive, on the moon. Omicron stated they did not want to have relationships with a people who would kill their own kind for land and water rights. They found the situation impossible. They said if Protium wanted the moon that badly they could have it: even though they shared the moon with Protium for eons.

Dandalo's search for a suitable planet was not an easy task. Any planet that could support life that was advanced in anyway, already had reached their maximum population. 

As Omicron prepared to evacuate the reality of the situation sunk in to Protium. The inadvertent killing of so many of their own people woke them up. They didn't want Omacron to leave. Even though they fought constantly with the Omicrons they discovered life without them would be meaningless. They requested a return to negotiations with newly elected officials. They started at once, even without a response, to disarm and destroy all their weapons, not just their WMDs. It was a hard fact to face but they realized they were not the type of beings who could be trusted with weapons of mass destruction. They even went as far as to say if the Omcrons left the Alphane moon they would leave too. This heartfelt plea reached Omicron on an emotional level. Omicron and Protium went into negotiations. Dandalo was relieved. Nothing is harder than finding a suitable planet for immigration. Frankly, it bordered on the impossible: had only been done on rare occasions, with limited success.

Natalia Romanova was officially promoted by the Quantum Force to Commander and given her own ship. 

Due to Steve's breakthrough expressing appropriate love, support and physical care to Bucky, he was accepted into the Force as a permanent back up to Romanova and Barnes.

Bucky's case was reviewed for war crimes. He did not know at the time of the incident but Omicron and Protium had both declared war on each other, thereby, covering some of his action as a member of the military. Nonetheless, he was found to have used excessive force. He was banned from combat. He was assigned a permanent position as a support person for Natalia.

****

The day Tony, Steve, Natalie and Bucky arrived at their Venice Beach three flat was a beautiful day. Every day in Venice California was a beautiful day. 

No one was happier to see the children then Bucky Barnes. Nova had her long legs at age 5 and Roman was a powerhouse of a swimmer at age 3. He laid on the floor and let the kids jump on him. They hung on him in the water and buried him in the sand on the beach. They were always laughing. The first day, Bucky was low energy, a bit withdrawn, came in after only a few hours of surfing and laid on the beach the rest of the day. Even after a week his lethargy was ignored. Buck had been through a lot physically, with using his ILLUMINE to extremes like he had, and emotionally with all the killing and the death of Thabre. He gave himself a break and did not push himself. Everyone gave him space; until he quit eating. After not moving from the patio swing all day the team confronted him.

"Why are you not eat my food?" Ming said.

"There's nothing wrong with your cooking. I just feel nauseated."

"You haven't been surfing for days. It's not like you," Steve said.

"I feel achy all over."

"You seem withdrawn Buck," Trine said.

"Everything seem so loud," Bucky answered.

"You don't seem like you want to have any fun." Nat said.

"I do. I really do. It's just I don't have any energy."

"You look feverish." Bruce felt Bucky's head.

"Yeah. I think you have a temperature. Lets do a physical."

"Okay. I'll come in the morning."

"Now."

"Okay okay."

Bruce found nothing wrong with Bucky. Another week went by.

Bucky started to lose weight. A lot of weight. The questions continued.

"Are you upset about Thabre?" Bruce said.

"Yeah… But…"

"Are you feeling guilty over what you had to do?" Trine said.

"Sure… But…"

"Are you in pain?" Bruce said

"Yes. My stomach hurts."

Bruce did more tests. They were also negative.

Everyone met on the patio, as usual, in the evening. Bucky laid on the wicker patio swing (face down) as this was his favorite spot.

"Bucky you've lost a significant amount of weight," Bruce Banner said.

"Yeah. I feel like the life is being sucked out of me. Like by a vampire… at night." Bucky hardly moved his mouth and drooled on the flowered sateen swing cushions.

The contingent laughed but Bucky was serious. Steve sat on the swing with Bucky. With great effort, Bucky rolled on his side to make room and propped his head on a pillow. Steve rested his hand on Bucky's shoulder. Steve leaned close to his friend and spoke:

"Remember the lounge on the Alphane moon and what happened in there before the sonic attack?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you feel like that now?"

"That I want to ruin myself? Yeah... I feel like I want to get drunk and pass out… Or maybe go into a coma."

"Or go into cryogenic freeze?" Steve rubbed his hand over Bucky's shoulder and down his arm.

"Yeah ... that's it. How did…?"

Nat put her hand to her mouth.

"Dude, you need some chicken noodle soup." Tony said.

Happy with the comic relief everyone laughed while Bucky put his face back down on the patio swing and shut his eyes. 

Another week past. Bucky rarely left his position: face down on the patio swing. Tony confronted him strongly.

"Look Barnes. You've got to come clean here. What the hell is wrong with you. You've lost 30 pounds. What do you think is wrong?"

"Okay ... okay. I can't keep anything down ... not even water. I've been puking for three days... I ... I think Thabre poisoned me." Bucky blurted out.

Tony, Natalie, Steve, Bruce, Trine and Ming went into the kitchen to discuss things. The moon was bright and flooded the kitchen with light. An ocean breeze lifted the kitchen curtain. They whispered.

"What were you talking about - the lounge on the Alphane moon?" Bruce said.

"Exactly what he was doing is not important. What's important is that he saw it is self harm."

"Thabre poisoned him? That sounds paranoid. Do you think he could be going off his nut again?" Tony said.

"Don't you think we should rule out maybe Thabre did poison him." Cap said.

"If contact with Thabre poisoned or infected him we'd know from Tony's exposure." Bruce said. 

"And you." Tony shot back.

"I've never swapped saliva with Blixa," Bruce said.

"Look, he was paranoid before under similar conditions. Yes, he could be overreacting to all the fighting but he's never had physical problems like this," Bruce said.

"I agree. This is different," Steve said.

"I just don't understand any of this. Any biological entity, bacteria, virus, microbe, yeast, fungus - anything – the ILLUMINE would clean it up. Unless he's found some way…" Trine said.

"Found a way to what?" Natalie said.

"Found a way to use the ILLUMINE against himself," Trine said.

"He wouldn't do that," Cap said.

"Subconsciously, darling. Subconsciously."

"Oh."

"Natalie, we haven't heard from you. How is he privately?"

"He wants to be with me. He clings to me actually. He can't have sex. He just can't. He says he wants to and I believe him but he can't."

"Now that does it." Steve slapped his hands on his thighs. "Not eating is one thing but Bucky not having sex 10 times a day... He's got to be near death."

"I've held off any intrusive tests because, you know, how he reacts to that... He could be headed for a breakdown." Bruce walked around the kitchen.

"Stop talking about me like I'm not here! I can hear every word you're saying." Bucky's voice boombed in through the kitchen window.

"Damn." Bruce said.

"Well, there's nothing wrong with his voice." Steve ran out to the patio.

"Sorry Buck."

"Don't mention it."

The rest of the team wandered out to the patio. The sweet ocean breeze was intoxicating. 

Bucky laid prostrate on the patio swing. His cybernetic arm, metal exposed, dragged on the ground.

Trine stood by the kitchen door.

"Why is the human hologram off the arm?"

"It's out of juice… Just like me," Buck mumbled.

"Shouldn't he plug-in?" Trine hung back by the kitchen door.  
"Look at this, such drama," she said quietly to Bruce. "This could be an over blown guilt reaction."

"But he was past all that," Bruce said.

"I thought so too," Steve replied.

"I'm dying ... Thabre killed me." Bucky appeared to go unconscious.

"He's passed out," Natalie said.

****

Bruce did the invasive testing. He found an immune system reaction to a foreign body of some kind. There was a dark area by the pyloric valve of Bucky's stomach.

"I need to do a biopsy."

"Wait... I'm calling Dandalo." Tony got his communicator.

Tony explain the situation to Dandalo and sent all the test results.

"Oh my," was Dandalo's response. "I will be there in 24 hours. Do nothing. No meds. No more tests. No x-rays! IV fluids only. Palliative care, that is all, and please reassure Bucky."

"Reassure him of what?" Tony said.

"Just tell him you're giving him reassurance. Over and out." Dandalo said.

After Dandalo's reaction Banner checked Barnes for every known toxin. They were all negative. Banner started an IV. Bucky spent an uncomfortable 24 hours. The only place he was even remotely comfortable was face down on the soft cushions of the patio swing. There is where he spread out when Dandalo arrived with Blixa: a medical professional.

Bucky was so weak he was unable to hold his head up. Spit ran out of his mouth onto the swings cushion. He did not have the energy to swallow. The patio lights were on and the wind chimes tinkled gently in the breeze. With her gaze fixed on Bucky; Ming cooked on the grill.

Dandalo and Blixa examined all the testing and Bucky.

"I am 100% sure Thabre poisoned Bucky," Dandalo announced. 

Natalie gasped. Steve put his arms around her.

"Damn," Tony said. 

"Oh my God," Trine said

"It is common in my species," Dandalo explained, "that at the time of death a special seed is released and can be implanted onto any biological substance, plant or animal. We call this the Death Seed. The implanted seed will adhere to any living cell structure taking on half the DNA of that structure and begin cell division to create a new entity using the hosts as nutrition for growth."

Waves beat the shore but no human voice could be heard.

"Bucky, did you kiss Thabre like a lover?"

"I did most definitely. More than once," Buck whimpered.

"When Thabre kissed Bucky, Thabre let loose the Death Seed and implanted onto Bucky."

The room, the patio, was as still as a tomb.

"He's not -" Nat said.

"Absolutely not." Dandalo's eyes shot blazing colors. "You must not think of this like that. There is nothing symbiotic or codependent or interdependent about the relationship between the Death Seed and it's host. This is more like… Let me think of the most proper translation… This is a parasitic relationship. Think "Alien". Bucky has been infected with a parasite. The Death Seed will kill him. Make no mistake."

Natalie gasped in shock.

"The Death Seed is killing him now… As strong as he is. Your decision has to be made on that basis."

"What decision?" Steve said.

"Remove any romance or morals from your thinking. The Death Seed is amoral, ruthless and will use Bucky's last drop of blood, his last heartbeat. It will consume him. It will use him up. When you say Thabre reinfected you – that is the truth – Thabre infected you with a deadly alien parasite. Clear your mind of anything other than that."

"Course of action seems clear," Tony said.

"There is more." Dandalo continued. "At the time of death, in a desperate attempt to reproduce, the Androgyns body produces a substance that attaches to the cell body bathed in a chemical before releasing it into the host body. This chemical similar to ILLUMINE and produces a superior being."

"So, that's why you were so interested in Bucky's ILLUMINE?"

"Yes, Tony, yes! These special creatures are revered by my people above all others. They become great leaders, philosophers, artists of great stature.… If they live."

The last statement got Buck's attention.

"What do you mean if they live?" Buck said.

"You can imagine this desperate attempt, at the last moments of life, is usually onto an insufficient host or a host that is inappropriate. So much can go wrong."

"Like me being so sick?"

"You may be sick because you do not have what the Death Seed wants."

"What's that?"

Dandalo handed Bucky a container with a white liquid in it.

"Drink and we will see."

Buck could not hold up his head. Ming gave him a flat straw and Bucky sucked at it with little slurps.

"Is his life in danger right now?" Nat said.

"Can't this thing be removed?" Cap said.

"There is great risk." Dandalo responded.

Buck opened his eyes. He sucked on the straw. His head rose from the bed and he spoke in a voice stronger than it had been all week.

"More," he whispered.

"See." Dandalo placed both palms to the sky.

Blixa unpacked more white liquid and Buck drank. After the second container he sat up on the swing.

"MORE," Bucky demanded.

Tony stood by with his arms folded taking it all in.

"Is there any scenario where both could live?" Tony said.

"Yes but this is a delicate situation. If he responds to the Marachov- the nutrient -"

"Looks like he is." Tony flipped his hand.

"And it looks like he is ... yes ... and if Torn can produce enough, and if we can get enough in him ... and if the liquid can sustain him for he can have only that ... and if the parasite can stay in him long enough to be viable when removed from the host ... and if the seed does not rupture or damage something in him, then yes: it can be removed and brought along with technology on Torn until it can live without support.

"That's a lot of if's," Natalie said.

"Yes but the reward would be so great," Dandalo said. "How do you feel now?"

"Better but I need more of that white stuff."

"Of course you do. That's a good sign. He would have to have Marachov as much as he wants. Many times a day. This can only be done on Torn. Marachov is from a rare plant and is being processed on Torn as we speak. I am inviting the whole company to Torn for the duration. If you decide you do want to try and this fails...Blixa and I will remove the parasite ourselves. I would not want that burden on any of you."

"No Dandalo. No talk of that," Bucky said.

"You're half dead after four weeks!" Steve said.

"No Steve. I want to try. I feel so much better. Give me more." Buck said with animal fervor.

Blixa gave him more.

"But one question." Buck stood up and drank without the straw and looked Dandalo straight in the eye. "If all these 'if's' come to pass. If it lives… Is it mine? ... Or is it yours Dandalo?"

"It will be yours."

"Will it be human?"

"It will be half human and half Androgyn… Something new." Dandalo smiled.

"How much Marachov do you have on you?"

"Enough to get you back to Torn."

"I'll pack up the kids," Natalie said.

"I invite every support person. Every person is needed. Please pack up. Your first class ticket to Torn awaits.

****

Tony and Bruce, Steve and Trine, Bucky and Nat, Nova and Roman boarded Dandalo's spacecraft. Ming simply refused to get on the ship. She said she would keep the three flat running and take messages for the Office of Scientific Investigation.

They did not land on the planet Torn. The kind of emissions a landing would generate were outlawed. Instead, they docked at a space station miles above the planet. They waited to be ferried down by solar powered transport. They watched the planet below them and caught a news broadcast. Bucky, Thabre and the Death Seed were in the news. But that was not the big news. The big buzz was Tony Stark. The fact he was going to be on Torn was like a national holiday. Tony Stark club presidents were interviewed and a documentary filmmaker who made the movie Tony Stark: Forgive Your Transgressor was on the news show. At the end of the broadcast people were interviewed who had overcome the desire for revenge, to get even, and talked of how people always talk about forgiveness but no one actually did it especially someone as capable of revenge as Tony Stark. They said Tony had sparked the imagination that such a thing was possible. Looked to Bucky like the ability to forgive another was easier than forgiving yourself.

The Androgyns were carbon-based oxygen breathers so Torn was green and blue in color. From where they stood there was little sign there was a civilization under all the greenery. An occasional huge pipe of some kind was visible. Dandalo and the other Androgyns, were excited and moved around at a faster pace, like cherubs.

"What are these tubelike structures?" Tony asked.

"They are left over exhaust pipes siphoning off CO2 and methane in the atmosphere. We needed to do that for many years. Now they are used only occasionally. Torn is 87% in balance." Dandalo said with great pride.

"Where are the buildings or signs of any population?"

"You'll see. There are 6 billion Androgyns on this planet."

They boarded the solar powered, silent running shuttles. Bucky boarded in a protective cylinder. He was listless and irritable and no one was allowed to touch him. For Bucky, this was the worst part of the whole ordeal. He spoke only one word: 'more'.

As they approached the ground details took shape. The trees were enormous. Like redwoods but much taller. The surface was virtually a jungle.

"Do you think you overdid it with green?" Tony said.

"We have the best oxygen in the galaxy." Dandalo laughed. "We are a vacation spot for that reason. For your comfort we will be staying at a resort not a hospital."

At last, the visiting Avengers could see signs of structures. There were tall buildings comparable in size to the trees and similarly shaped. As they flew by they could see vegetation popping out all over the building, from balconies, windows, terraces, and even the roof. Great colorful canopies flew between the buildings.

"There's no yards or landscaping?" Natalie said.

"We recovered 20% sustainability with just that one adjustment. We decided to love weeds. Wildlife is right up to our door. Serves many purposes: it is hard to feel removed from nature when you live in." Dandalo explained. "We were in so deep - the environment was damage - our ability to repair so limited - we did nothing. Nothing we came up with would have been enough. The only thing powerful enough to clean up our mess was the planet itself. We set aside small spaces here and there, to remain untouched by us. Places where we would do nothing. After a short time we could see it worked and we set aside more and more. Soon we had an accurate formula to sustain a reasonable population. At first there were harsh population control measures to obtain zero population growth. Some measures, looked back on today, are seen as extremely unethical. But, in these dark days, it was seen as better to harm yourself than harm the ecological balance.

"You mean people did away with themselves?" Steve said.

"Yes. Suicide was common. Not only as a sacrifice for the greater good, but suicide was a common way to cope with overpopulation. The shortages. The distrust. The isolation. The wars. The famines. The extinctions. The diseases. The severe storms. The pestilence that came with overpopulation. Watching your world slowly die... I cannot express what a nightmare the crisis was and how people turned against each other. We had recycling centers. Anyone could go to them for any reason."

"Your Torn citizens recycled themselves?" Steve said.

"Yes and worse. People could be ordered to the recycling centers."

"Oh my." Natalie said.

"Yes. Oh my. Terminally ill, criminals, even mental defectives and the elderly. Any society should avoid environmental crisis at all cost. Those drastic days are gone. There are few recycling centers left but euthanasia and suicide, for certain reasons, is still legal and socially excepted."

"You say recycled...the remains were recycled into what?" Bruce (thinking Soylent Green) asked.

"Fertilizer."

****

The shuttle landed on the roof of a seaside resort with the bluest water anyone had ever seen. Dandalo was right, the air was intoxicating. Steve and Natalie could not stop laughing. Roman and Nova got away from Nat and headed out to the beach. She ran after them.

"We have to take a tour first guys!" she said. Roman and Nova reacted with hyperactivity to the increased percent of oxygen. Natalie had her hands full.

The entire resort was dedicated to the Death Seed project. Medical facilities and medical support took up the first three floors. Tony and Banner went nuts with interest.

Floors four through six held the lavish living quarters. Trine and Steve, Natalie and kids, Tony and Bruce all had suites facing the ocean. The only person not enjoying all the majesty was Bucky: the person it was all about. He was still in the travel tube on the medical floor, miserable, hungry and forgotten. Everyone else was running around getting high on oxygen.

"This is all great but where is Bucky?" Steve said.

"Exactly." Dandalo said. "Let's go to the medical department and I'll explain what we are trying to do here."

Everyone gathered around Bucky's tube. He did not make eye contact with anyone. Dandalo explained the complicated process to procure the Marachov and how it was brought to Bucky, how stringently he would be monitored and how at a moments notice the Torn doctors were prepared to remove the Death Seed if there was any threat whatsoever to Barnes. Dandalo explained how the Death Seed would be grown in a sophisticated one-of-a-kind incubator and how, if it happened to live long enough to be viable out of the host body, it's growth would be finished off in the incubator. One day at a time was the mantra.

"Bucky, you can come out of the tube but not out of the medical facility for 24 hours." Dandalo explained. "We devised a travel monitor. He can wear this apparatus with an attendant and he can enjoy his suite and the beach. If he feels up to it."

"How long before this thing is viable outside the host?" Natalie asked.

"We should know in one months time," Dandalo said.

"Who is in charge around here?" Tony asked.

"I am," Dandalo said.

"There's not a doctor in charge?"

"We have an extensive medical team. The best the galaxy has to offer but I was deemed by the government of Torn to be the best one to coordinate this endeavor."

"Why is that?" Tony said.

Tony had yet to see Dandalo act unsure: this was the first time. Dandalo looked shy and lowered its eyes to the ground.

"Because I am one," Dandalo said.

"You am one ... what?" Tony said.

"I am the last person on this planet to survive a Death Seed birth."

"That explains a lot." Tony moved to Dandalo's side. "Why did you withhold this information?"

"No one wants to be looked at as a freak. It is a strange feeling to be the only one of your kind."

Tony shook his head. Dandalo was an alien to him, an Androgyn, a creature with eyes that spun like a whirling dervish and the alien is concerned about how the birth process took place.

"Dandalo, can we talk alone for a few minutes."

"Certainly Tony."

Steve and Natalie wandered to Bucky's tube. He would not look at them.

Tony and Dandalo sat at a corner table. Dandalo stiffened and became formal in posture and facial expression.

"Wanna tell me about it?" Tony was compassionate with Dandalo and stopped fidgeting, shut his mouth and listened.

"The story is not pleasant but I will tell it. My parent, my Androgyn parent was a member of the Quantum Force on a mission and was killed in battle. My parent implanted on its killer." Dandalo gazed off out the window. "The implantation was violent. Not anything like Thabre and Bucky. This creature happened to be a biphasic organism, was subdued and captured by the Quantum Force and held - " Dandalo abruptly stop talking.

"Did the creature… Did your other parent… Survive?" Tony asked.

"No Tony. The creature did not live."

Tony looked around the room. "Dandalo… Is Bucky going to live?"

"I swear on my life and all that I hold dear, my planet, my home, every person who ever was born here on my world, he will live through this. I will do anything - "

"Okay Okay I get it." Tony glanced at Bucky in his tube and turned to Dandalo. "What if I wanted him dead." Tony blurted out.

"What!?" Dandalo's eyes turned as black as Tony's heart.

Tony spoke with the cavalier attitude. "Yeah, what if I said I didn't care if he had to die to save the Death Seed?"

At that moment Dandalo look tall. "Then I would have you arrested and escorted off the planet. You could leave now on your own volition. As the situation stands even if you were joking you will have a 24 hour surveillance while on this planet."

"Now I ask you, are you kidding me?"

"I am dead serious." Dandalo gave Tony what could be described as a death stare.

"You're gonna kick me off the planet?" 

Tony had not seen Dandalo's eyes all black and his lips drew back from his sharp little teeth. Tony felt heat rise up each side of his neck. A fury weld up in him. He heard his heart beating in his ears. He try to control his anger by not speaking but he could not.

"You know I was testing your moral fiber and you know I am a royal ass who talks before thinking."

Dandalo stood like a statue. "I know no such thing. It's your choice Tony, leave the planet or house arrest. This area is off-limits to you as of now." Dandalo advance towards Tony.

The tension in the room was palpable. Tony went mobile and flailed his arms around.

"This will affect him you know." Tony nodded in the direction of Bucky. "He'll know and he'll react to it."

Dandalo's gaze flashed around the room; uncertainty crept in.

"Yes… That's right… He would no something is wrong."

"I've had ample opportunity to off Barnes if I wanted," Tony said.

"Yes… Yes… I know."

"I did want to gauge your resolve. I admit the way I did it was for shit."

"Yes… I can see you tested my firmness. I may have overreacted."

"Can we come to a compromise?" Tony said.

"You could leave for some other reason." Some blue color returned to Dandalo's eyes.

"So that's it! I leave or house arrest?"

"Yes… Those are the two options."

"If I made up some reason to leave he'd feel that something was more important."

"Yes ... he would."

"How about this… Everyone is under the same surveillance." Tony was mater of fact.

Dandalo thought about that a minute. "Yes… Yes… For security reasons… All are under surveillance… Yes! That would work." Dandalo relaxed and more color circulated the iris.

"Damn, dude, you're a tough little SOB." Tony breathed a sigh of relief.

"And you, my man, are impulsive." Dandalo said.

"We had our first fight." Tony slapped Dandalo on the back and they walked over to talk with Bucky, Natalie and Steve. Dandalo ordered security.

****

Buck made it a month. The creature had encapsulated itself inside him like an egg shell and was attached to his stomach lining with a placenta like structure. The egg was the size of an apple. Buck was holding his weight but was unable to take in much nutrition that would reinforce a human. He came to Natalie's suite and to the beach for short periods. The activity was painful and after he would sleep 24 hours straight. 

A group of advisers arrived by shuttle from the Space Station circling Torn. They held meetings for five days. At the end of the meetings Dangelo announced the egg would be removed from Bucky. The eggs development had reached a reasonable level and gave good odds of survival outside the host body. Bucky was at the point of becoming so weak that the complicated surgery would be a threat to his life. Odds were about to fall out of his favor, so now was the time. The human support team had their input. Tony, Steve and Nat all felt Bucky would never say uncle. They felt he was sucked dry and the light was gone in his eyes and his spirit was weak. They were afraid for him. Yet he suffered on. Scientist from around the galaxy invented new technology to try to simulate the womb. The machine look like a giant coffee machine. The humans from Earth called it as such and the nickname stuck. The scientist, the Androgyns, the whole crew called it nothing but the coffee machine. If the egg thrived in the coffee machine they dubed that - getting percolated.

The surgery was rough but Bucky was tough. Once removed the placenta like structure adhered to the membrane of the coffee machine and percolation began. The moment the creature was out of him Buck improved. 

The egg, as it was called, astonished everyone at its appearance. The egg adhered only 57% of the import factors but 40% was sustainability. The egg thrived. It was anyone's guess when it would hatch. Human conception times - Androgyn conception times - no one knew for certain. Soon, the creature weighed 1 pound, was active and moved in the shell. The egg grew to the size of a casaba melon and glowed the same green color. Bucky and Natalie visited the egg each day and talk to it. The egg did not have a hard shell but a shell the consistency of silicone. The shell was bumpy with spots of calcified areas in different shades of green and brown color patches. It smelled bad.

"So far… Not too good to look at." Natalie said.

"Doesn't smell too good either. Let's hope it's like oysters and the pearl is inside." Buck said.

They called it the pearl from then on.

Steve and Trine, Tony and Banner, Bucky and Nat, and Nova and Roman relaxed and started enjoying Torn like a vacation. They swam, ate delicacies, hung with the off-duty scientists in the evening. They took day trips around the area for sightseeing and scientific education on the Torn ecology system. They sought out art and performance activities. 

Bucky regained his health, his weight, his vigor and soon he was running the shore with Steve and Natalie. He wanted the kids physically on him at all times and sought out Nat's touch and physical comfort. Steve and Bucky's new physical closeness was noted by all. Bucky wanted someone's hand on his body touching him at all times. 

Time sped by. Soon the creature was so big the egg moved around in the coffee machine. With the sonogram, the shape of the new life form could be seen. It looked humanoid.

One sunny day the shell cracked but nothing further happened. The scientist flew around calculating, collating, discussing what they should do. Should they crack it open? The fetal placenta was 40% attached to the membrane of the coffee machine. There was a thick membrane under the shell that was intact so they decided to observe, to monitor for infection, and wait and see. 

A long week later the shell cracked open. The membrane ruptured and there it was… What looked like a human newborn. Weight 8 lbs. 9 oz., length 21 inches, head circumference within normal limits, reflexes normal, cry normal, Apgar 10 and 10, fingers, toes and a penis and testicles. His eyes amazed even the Androgyns : Large and blue/green. Behind the testicles he also had ovaries, uterus and vagina.

The humans from Earth and Dandalo and a few intergalactic workers stood a respectable distance away and stared at the baby. The baby squirmed around, moved his hands without coordination and rooted at the air. He opened and closed his eyes and kicked his feet like any newborn. No one wanted to state the obvious. Bucky broke the tension:

"That's the greenest baby I've ever seen." He got some chuckles. 

"I bet if we turned off the lights that baby would glow in the dark." Everyone laughed and milled around the room and relaxed. It was true, the baby was green. Not an unpleasant green, more a pear green, but nonetheless, green. His hair was olive green on the tips and black at the roots. His eyelashes and eyebrows were black. The whites of his eyes were chartreuse with a large black pupil. His finger nails were lime green with black cuticle. 

"Dandalo, is it bad for a baby to be that green?" Natalie said.

"All Androgyns are born green."

"That green?"

"No. But – the scientists think he is so green because they use super strength Marachov for him. The green will fade as he gets regular strength Marachov. We go through a type of puberty at age 1 as we move from a plant-based diet to an animal-based diet. The green is from chlorophyll and photosynthesis."

"You mean when the baby eats an adult diet he will turn brown?" Bucky said.

"Yes. Androgyns have the ability to turn whatever color they are consuming. On a planet not far from here The staple food is an orange sweet potato plant and the Androgyns who live there are orange. 98% of Androgyns become carnivores. He will never be so green as he is right now. Green is not what I find odd."

"What about him is odd? What about him is odd?" Bucky shot back.

"For an 8 pound baby, does his penis not seem excessively big to you?" Dandalo said.

Bucky and Nat looked at each other and casually shook their heads no.

"I didn't want to be rude but that's the biggest greenest penis I've ever seen ... on a newborn." Bruce Banner said.

Natalie and Buck he stared at each other.

"His penis is huge!" Dandalo flipped his hands around. Bucky rubbed his flesh hand over his face. Natalie smirked and Tony out right laughed.

"How does this work now? You say he has all female reproductive organs and all male sex organs.?" Buck said.

"Yes."

"Are they all going to work?" Steve said.

"Hard to imagine that penis wouldn't function." Bruce stared at the big green dick.

"In Androgyns, all are operational after the second puberty."

"This baby appears a lot human." Bruce said.

"This situation is what I would call - wait and see." Dandalo said.

Bucky motioned to Dandalo. "Can I?"

"Go ahead. He's yours."

Bucky approached the incubator. He put his flesh hand on the babies chest. The baby opened his eyes and Bucky looked closely at the babies eyes. 

He smiled and said. "Hello you. Welcome to the planet Torn. Hey you – what do you have to say for yourself?"

The baby opened his eyes big. Bucky touched the babies face and he rooted on his finger.

"Look at you." He turned to the others for a glance. "His eyes do remind me of Thabre... I just don't want to look away ... do I?" he said to the baby.

"You can pick him up."

"But he has all these wires?"

"They are just so he doesn't overheat in the incubator."

The technician unhooked him and started to dress him.

"I can do that." Bucky expertly diapered the baby and slipped on a wraparound shirt.

"Come on big guy," Buck said.

Natalie stood up against Buck for a good look at the baby.

"He looks a bit like Roman when he was a baby," she said.

"I was thinking the same thing," Buck said.

"Take him home. Take him to your suite." Dandalo waved its hand.

"Dandalo, is Thabre your real cousin?" Bucky asked.

"Yes. My first cousin."

"Would you come with us?"

They went to the suite to introduce Nova and Roman to their new brother. Bucky wanted to name the baby Thabre Junior. The family thought that was appropriate. Dandalo, however, did not and explained how babies are named on Torn and paid particular attention to how Death Seed babies are named. Dandalo explained the name should be unique. All people on Torn come up with one of a kind names for their offspring, always taking into account the child's Androgynous status. Bucky, Nat and family and everyone thought long and hard and came up with the name Bellamy. Bellamy Barnes. Dandalo checked the Torn database and discovered there had never been anyone born on Torn by the name of Bellamy. Dandalo approved and the name was accepted. 

The Avengers stayed on Torn an extra month to make sure there were no complications.

****

They return to Earth and their three flat the last few months of 1949. They all needed a rest especially Bucky. To everyone's surprise Ming had opened a for lunch only Chinese takeout, down on the boardwalk, while they were away. She said it was her life long dream. She also said it would not interfere with her cooking dinner for Roman and anyone else who wanted dinner.

The OSI work had piled up. Steve, Bucky and Natalie ran through the request for service. Everything looked unchanged: the sun, the sea, the three flat, the beach.

Bucky and Natalie were nervous. What do you do with the green baby. The Torn doctors said his bright green color would fade but not for months or even a year. Earth: 1949 was not going to accept a green baby. They decided to dress him like a girl with a big fluffy hat and if anyone noticed or commented on the green color they had a cover story ready: increased bilirubin that would fade. They went on as though he was just another baby. Even though his skin was green Bellamy was extra sweet to kiss. 

Tony, Bruce and Trine went back to work. Steve, Natalie and Bucky tried to fulfill all the requests for service the Office of Scientific Investigation received during their absence. 

Things return to normal in 1949 - Venice Beach California - until it wasn't. 

A week later Steve woke in his bed with Bucky shaking his shoulder. Steve looked over at Trine. She had not been disturbed.

"What is it?" he whispered to Bucky.

Bucky looked around the room. All was still. The moon glow crept into the room under the shade. Steve noted the expression on Bucky's face and became hyper awake.

"What is it man?"

Bucky pointed to the ceiling with his thumb. Steve tracked his thumb with his eyes.

"Come up to the roof," Buck whispered.

Steve glanced at Trine and slid out of bed. He wore under armor. They all did, indoors, that is. 1940s fabrics were for shit. The night was still and the moon was yellow. Cap judged the time to be around 3 AM: Bucky's usual witching hour. The ocean breeze blowing through the garden foliage made the distinct sound of lush green leaves rustling against lush green leaves. Bucky gripped the railing with both hands and looked out over the ocean.

"Are you awake?" Steve said.

"I am now." Bucky glanced at Cap, the slightest glance.

"Where's Natalie?"

"I wouldn't wake her ... She doesn't need four baby's." Buck mumbled.

Steve touched Bucky's upper arm- his human arm. Bucky's gaze fell on Steve's hand and onto his face. Bucky bear hugged Steve so tight all the air rushed out of his lungs and he felt like he was 90 pounds. Steve got the message. Buck needed grounded physically. Steve slid his arm around Bucky and held him just as tight. Steve was glad to hold Bucky: it was nice to hold him anytime he wanted to.

"Alright now - spit it out." Steve shot for direct eye contact but Buck was having none of that. 

"Don't watch," Buck said. He dropped his head by Steve's shoulder and shut his eyes.

"I dreamed they got me." Buck's voice rumbled on Steve's neck. "But that's not the problem. I always dream that. I dreamed of Pierce." Bucky gripped Steve tight. "They held me down ... they spread my legs." 

Steve felt Buck's moist breath on his skin and he held the back of Buck's head. 

"They injected something into my hip joints." Buck said. "They laughed - 'ha ha' they said... 'you'll never fight again ha ha you'll never fight again' ... they paralyzed me..." 

Bucky's voice was calm but Steve felt him swallow hard.

"Then ... Pierce wasn't there... he was Tony. Tony was in my room. I killed him Steve." 

Steve felt a shutter course through Bucky's chest.

"I ripped his head off - " Bucky shuttered uncontrollably, again, and again.

Steve held Bucky tight. Tight enough to smash the shutters out of him.

"I'd say that's a bad dream," Steve said.

"But it wasn't a dream ... I've blood all over me."

Steve let go and flipped on the plant light. It was true. Buck was covered in blood.

"Their has to be another explanation," Steve said.

Steve grabbed Bucky's head and looked him over for cuts or bleeding. He inspected his arms, neck and chest.

"I think Tony has been experimenting on me at night... That nightmare ... was a wake up call … I killed Tony," Bucky said.

"That's easy to find out."

"No. No."

"Come on Buck."

"Wait." Bucky held on to Steve. Steve paused and ran his hand up and down Bucky's back. He fell him calm down somewhat.

"Come on … Enough of this. We're going to see Tony whatever shape he's in. Dead or alive... You know what has to be done."

They burst into Tony's bedroom. He was asleep. Cap flipped on the light.

"What the hell?" Tony yelled.

Steve and Bucky saw, plain as day, a fresh 3 inch long cut across Tony's cheekbone and drops of dried blood around his nose.

Bucky's knees buckled when he saw Tony. He sat on a bedside chair and put his head between his legs. Steve rested his hand on Bucky's neck.

Cap towered over Tony. He could see abrasions and bruising on his neck.

"Did you go into his room tonight?"

"Yeah." Tony rubbed his eyes.

"What for?

"I needed something for the experiment."

Buck glanced at Tony and dropped his head back into his hands. Steve slid his hand up the back of Bucky's neck.

"You actually went into his room without waking him. For what?"

"Just a minute." Tony sat up in bed. "I needed some fresh DNA and I took hair samples."

"That's it? You took hair sample?"

"Uh... and a buccal swab."

"A buccal swab? You went into his mouth? When he was asleep?"

"He's a mouth breather. Wait! ... Wait! ... It's in his contract!" Tony yelled.

"In his contract?" Cap yelled louder.

"Yeah it's easier on him this way."

"You ... are ... insane."

"He doesn't disassociate this way," Tony explained.

"Well… He did… Didn't he?"

"Yeah ... he did."

"He almost killed you didn't he?" Steve tightened his grip on Bucky's neck.

"It was a close call." Tony's voice was but a whisper. He lowered his eyes. Bucky hyperventilated and Steve saw red.

"You coerced him into keeping that arm on." Cap pointed his finger at Tony. "He almost killed you with your own creation. If it wasn't so sad it would be funny. This goddamn contract…" Bucky glanced at Steve and Steve pushed his head back down. "His contract with you is over. The contract is immediately dissolved." Steve yelled at his top register.

Bruce Banner came to the door.

"What's going on? What's all the shouting about?" Banner said in a sleepy voice.

Tony leaned forward on the bed. Steve could see red marks on Tony's neck and Tony did not move his right arm. He looked to be pretty banged up.

"We're doing something here that's gonna change the world ... affect millions." Tony said.

"Yeah? Well ... you're just gonna have to do it in the daylight."

Steve turned to head for the door.

"Looks like he needs some medical attention Bruce." Steve said and physically drug Bucky from the room by his collar.

"Morning Bruce."

"Morning Bucky." Bruce said as Cap and Buck zipped by.

****

Tony avoided the rest of the crew for 10 days. No one pushed him to socialize, surf or eat with others. 

All Bruce said about it was: 'He's okay. Leave him alone.' 

Around day four of Tony's absence, construction walls went up on one of Tony's adjacent lots. The one toward town. 

Bruce answer that question with: 'He said he needs more workspace.'

At the end of 10 days Bucky and Steve remained firmly entrenched in their position to break the contract with Tony. 

Tony appeared late one evening, after dinner, after the kids were asleep, when everyone was around the fire pit outback of the three flat. He smiled and acted like nothing had happened. He had a splint on his wrist and was limping. He had black and blue marks on his face and neck that were in the end stages of being trimmed with yellow and green.

"Oh Tony – I'm so sorry." Bucky said when he saw him.

"It was my fault. I didn't think pass my immediate needs. I apologize. And as a peace offering I have something for you. Two somethings." Tony handed Bucky a mylar bag. In the bag was a human looking prosthetic arm and some papers.

"Hey!" Buck took the arm out of the bag. "It's so light."

"Yeah it's just an arm… it has sensory capability and that's it. Solar powered of course." Tony mumbled the short list of what the arm did. "It has great sensitivity and dexterity and it's 'real feel'. No weaponry whatsoever." Tony said with pride. "No fancy shit."

"Tony … Really?"

"Yeah. I'm embarrassed to put my name on it... Wanna try it on?"

"Sure ... now?"

"Yeah now." Tony worked Bucky's shoulder to detach his metal arm.

"But your hand?" Bucky said.

"Shut up...I wanna do it."

Bucky felt the new arm. "This isn't metal."

"No it's plastic. It may need replaced frequently. Let's see how it wears."

Buck slipped off his shirt. Tony and Banner did the work of changing the arms.

"It'll take 20 minutes to activate with the nanite string - for you to get up to the movement and feeling."

Bucky moved the arm around and felt it with his human hand.

"It feels like flesh - like skin… Natalie?" He opened his arms to her. Natalie came in.

"How does this feel so much like skin?" she said to Tony.

"Because I'm a genius."

"You're more than that." Buck gave Tony his doe eyes. "Thank you."

"I overstepped. I was way out of line. Now I'm putting things right." Tony picked up the mylar bag. In Bucky's excitement he forgot about the papers. Tony handed the bag to Bucky again.

"Is this my contract?"

"Yes… Null and void."

"Tony, you know I'll do whatever you want me to do – contract or no contract."

Steve rolled his eyes.

"No Barnes you've served your debt to society and you've paid your debt to me. Paid in full. From now on ... you're free."

Freedom was a distant memory, like a wisp of a time long ago, like something you tasted once and never again. The last time he felt this feeling was before the war over 75 years ago. 

Tony packed up the old military arm and put it in the mylar bag.

"I want you to keep this close just in case you need it to defend yourself or protect your family," Tony said.

"You mean ... I'm like ... dismissed?" Buck's doe eyes turned like saucers.

"No not at all. I want you to stay but it's up to you now."

"That idea is a little new to me."

"Take your time… Let's celebrate… I'll make martinis."

Buck couldn't shake the feeling that someone was leaving. That something more had ended then just a contract. He fished for the truth with his usual tact.

"Are you leaving?" Buck asked Tony.

"No way."

"What about this new construction next to us?"

"It's a warehouse. I need more room for equipment. I'm staying right where I am."

Buck relaxed. "I'll make the martinis."

Buck flipped his new arm around. Steve and Natalie admired it.

****

Things returned to normal. If time travelers living in the past can ever be normal. They worked and played and ate and raised children and watched the warehouse Tony was building go up. Buck was interested in the building and looked at the worksite each day itching to get in on the construction. He was suspicious it was a house not a warehouse. A house for Tony to move into. The shape of the building was not like a warehouse the wood was too good: suspicious - Buck questioned Tony one night after dinner.

"Tony your warehouse looks like a house and today they delivered chandeliers and beveled glass. Are you moving?"

"Well ... alright ... it's a house," Tony said.

"You really are leaving. You're going to live in that house?" Bucky said.

"Not me. I'm building the house for Natalie. I'm building a house for Natalie and for you guys. For your family," Tony said.

Natalie's face softened. Her jaw went slack and her eyes became large and liquidy.

"Tony, really? Why?" she said.

"The lab is growing. I need your space."

"Tony?" Natalie stood in front of him.

"Well… I… My records indicate you've been working for me for 10 years and I've never paid you."

"Tony?" Natalie got closer and put her arms around his waist.

"Okay… You have three kids now. You need a home. A real home." He put his arms around her and hugged her.

"I accept Tony. I love it. What is that beautiful wood they've been hauling in there?"

"The blond wood with the pink hue? That's alderwood. Picked especially for you."

"I love it ... Tony... Tony..." Natalie hugged onto him without letting go.

Touched Bucky said: "Tony… Man… What can I say?"

"I hope you'll accept it without any bullshit arguing because it's given from the heart." Tony touched his chest.

"I can see that. Thank you man," Buck said.

"Might be a good thing it's out in the open now. They're not done with the interior. You can pick the materials to finish it off, the flooring, fixtures, design, colors. Go look at it. The workers can answer questions. Go look at it," Tony repeated.

Natalie held Tony firm. She hit her face from the others.

"Will you show us around?" She spoke into Tony's shoulder. 

"Go explore on your own," Tony said.

Bucky stood by her and she grabbed his arm and they rushed over to the worksite and turned on the lights. The workmen had gone for the day.

Tony yelled after them. "Ming designed the kitchen!"

"Thank you Tony." Nat yelled back.

"That went over well." Tony said to Bruce.

"Don't be strangers!" He yelled after Bucky as they disappeared around the corner.

****

The house was big and beautiful. Natalie looked to be in a trance. The house was traditional Victorian with the gorgeous blond wood with the pink hue. The house had 10 foot ceilings, large marble steps up to the ample front porch. The house faced Speedway street and the back of the house faced the beach. A sidewalk was built the whole length of Tony's property. The entryway had 15 foot prism light from windows and a chandelier that was modest as they go but seemed extravagant to Natalie. Tony picked a lighter wood for the trim and doors: more Californian he said later. There was a big living room with a stone fireplace built-in and huge den with huge built-in bookshelves all the way up to the ceiling. A music room and a formal dining room with the same prism glass above the windows. The gently curved staircase of the same wood and a full basement. Buck and Natalie have things to hide and they had lots of space to do just that. A large kitchen (no appliances yet) and a back porch one step up from ground level and the beach. Natalie saw Ming written all over this area. There was a maids room - very nice - with bath and guest bath.

"Let's go upstairs," Bucky said.

"Upstairs? You mean there's more?" Natalie looked dazed.

"Come on Honey." Buck ran up the back stairs by the maids room.

"Where do we go?"

They ended up by the nannies room.

"What's this? We don't need a nanny," she said.

"Ming might stay here. She can't be separated from Roman for very long." 

"She wants to be independent."

"She has the option of a room here if she wants. Her choice."

They opened room after room after room: five bedrooms total. The biggest bedroom overlooked the back of the house and the Pacific ocean. The room had a balcony the full length of the house. This room had the biggest bath. Built in closets and dressers throughout and bookshelves and desk in all the bedrooms, all in the light wood.

"What's this." Nat opened one of the built-ins in the master bathroom.

"That's where you throw your dirty clothes down to the basement," Buck said.

"What happens to them there?"

"They get washed in the laundry room."

"Amazing!" She looked down the shaft a few times.

She went back-and-forth to the kids room and the master bedroom. She ran her hand along the walls.

"It's all yours Natalia Romanova," he said.

"It's so beautiful… I can't believe it." Imagine Natalia Alianovna Romanova in a house like this she thought. 

"What do you think Angel? Do we we put wallpaper on these walls?"

"Probably. We'll have to go to the library and see what's normal for 1950. The workmen could help. We could hire a decorator."

"No. Let's do it ourselves."

"Yes. Let's do it ourselves."

Natalie and Bucky worked a year to finish the house. They made many trips to LA, had things shipped from the East Coast and spent many hours in the library researching the Victorian era. That sounded real good but Tony was headed in another direction for the interiors: mid-century modern. When there was a decision between clean lines and functionality versus frilly and grandiosity they chose clean and functioning which gave the home a more modern flavor. 

Dinner each night moved to Natalie's house: the three flat seem cramped by comparison. 

They rang in the new year 1950 with a great party in the formal dining room that spilled out onto the beach for fireworks from the pier at midnight. They charged through the sand to the waters edge and back to the back porch to drink champagne under the electric string porch lights.

"I'm going to check the kids." Natalie rose from Bucky's lap.

"Okay." His hands lingered on her till the last second.

The house was silent. The moon sparkled through the prismed glass window onto the staircase. She open Nova's bedroom door. The room glowed peach from the nightlight. Dressed in white linen, three cherub cheeked children (one a little green) slept in one bed. The window curtain billowed and relaxed and billowed and relaxed again from the soft ocean breeze. 

Bucky slipped his arms around her from behind. She held his hands and felt the calluses on his fingers. He kissed her neck and buried his face in it and breathed his life's breath on her.

"Why are they in the same bed?" he said.

Natalie didn't answer.

"What's the matter?"

"Déjà vu," she said.

Buck held her tighter and kissed her neck.

"They look like angels now don't they," he said.

Natalie moved with the rhythm of the earth. She listened to the beat of the ocean waves and the chatter of movement and voices from the pier. It was not a cornfield and traffic but she did not care.

"I'll carry them to their own beds," he said.

Natalie didn't answer but held him and stopped him.

"Are you still in the déjà vu?"

"Yes."

She pushed Buck to one side of the kids bed and she got in on the other side. He followed her lead and they scrunch the three kids close together between them, their girl, their boy and their 'other'. They gazed into each others eyes and 10 years passed by like the wave of a hand.

THE END

Epilogue 

When you have kids, 10 years does fly by. 

Nova celebrated her 13th birthday. She had 13 friends for a beach party. She had long legs, long yellow hair and was a strong surfer. She had mild 'abilities' but no overt superpowers. She was strong physically and had never been sick even with a cold. She was extremely intuitive: empathetic to a fault and so in tune with her parents emotions they felt, at times, she could read their minds. She was a happy well-adjusted kid without anxieties about the future. She was popular in school and under challenged academically. Her environment at the three flat and the Pacific ocean behind her made up for any shortcomings of her formal education. She wanted to be a marine biologist. Bucky secretly wanted her to have a computer, so he made up for the fact that she did not have one by spending extra time with her in the lab, and due to his brain computer interface, he felt that he was the next best thing.

At 11 Roman was taller than his sister. He was a few pounds of body fat overweight and a tad lazy. The professionals, Bruce, Tony and Trine felt he suffered from replicate fading: a common condition with clones. To what degree? It was too early to tell. He was sweet and loved by everyone. He was curious and kind and loved school, surfing and hanging around the lab with Cap doing what he called 'investigations'. His adult teeth came in like a train wreck. He needed orthodontia. Curiously, even though he had Bucky's body type, hair and eye color, Buck insisted he did not look like him, but he had no pictures to prove it.

Bellamy at age 10 had lost his green tint years ago and was just what you would imagine: a combination of his parents Bucky and Thabre. He was cherub face, curly headed, bright eyed and super smart. Since age 2 he manifested anger management issues. His temper tantrums were alien even for the folks who knew the Androgyns. He would bare his teeth and growl and spit venom - real poisonous material. His penis worked alright. He was frequently caught using it with himself aggressively. Bucky said he got his temper and aggression from the Androgyn side. Everyone laughed. Buck was distressed over this issue. He struggled to help his child, considering over the 10 years, he had become an expert in dealing with people with disorders of emotional regulation. He took all OSI clients with these problems and travel to prisons and schools up and down the West Coast. His techniques, though unorthodox, were effective.

Natalie was gone for six weeks every year fulfilling her duties as Commander in the Quantum Force. Luckily, most intelligent life in the galaxy discovered the futility of fighting and armed conflicts and had given them up. Over the 10 years she had been on seven successful missions and her status in the Milky Way Galaxy had risen so high she eclipse even Tony Stark and was known as the leader and the number one Avenger throughout the civilized planets.

Steve's job with the LA police lab turned into lab work for the FBI and he was the head of that department in LA by 1958. 

Trine, Tony and Bruce finished their study of ILLUMINE but had not published. The ILLUMINE subject was too hot to handle. 

Tony called a formal meeting for all the time travelers to discuss the future.

The meeting was to take place in the OSI front office on the exact day of the 10 year anniversary of the Avengers living in the 1950s.

Steve and Trine sat on the loveseat. Trine newly pregnant for the first time.

Bruce sat on the desk. Natalie sat in her wooden chair behind the desk. Ming took Roman and Bellamy to see The Blob.

Tony looked younger than when they arrive 10 years earlier. He came in; in a huff. Bruce vacated his spot on the desk corner and sat on an adjacent chair. Tony took a quick inventory.

"This is a pre-scheduled formal meeting. Where's Barnes?"

"He'll be along... he's at a campaign rally," Nat said.

"For who? As if that matters," Tony said.

"John Kennedy… He took Nova."

Tony turned white. "He can't do that."

"He'll be here… It's probably just traffic," Natalie said flippantly.

"Why can't he do that Tony," Steve said all serious.

Tony's lips turned a bad gray color.

"Tony what is it?" Cap said.

"He can't like him," Tony said.

"Well it's too late for that." Natalie continued with her flip an attitude. "He idolizes the guy." 

Tony glanced at Natalie with a shocked look in his eyes. Tony sat on a chair.

"What? What is it?… Oh no Tony… No… You said he was inactive in 1963… You said it twice… I distinctly remember." Natalie said with fear in her voice.

"I lied." Tony put his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands.

"What's going on?" Cap said.

"Tony… Oh no…" Natalie said beside him.

"Wait? You mean…" Steve looked shocked as the truth revealed itself.

"He can't know -" Tony's hands flew around. "He can never know."

"Holy mother of God." Steve sat down. "You have evidence?"

"I destroyed it." Tony glanced up. "What I couldn't destroy I buried."

Natalie put her head in her hands and whimpered. "Oh no… Oh no." 

"I knew it ... I feared it ... but deep down I knew it." Bruce paced around the room and looked at everyone. "This would kill him."

Steve comforted Natalie with tears in his eyes.

"What's going on?" Trine asked.

Cap went to her and whispered in her ear. He could not say it out loud.

"Oh God no," Trine said.

"We have to do something ... to assure he won't find out. He can't find out. We have to stop him from finding out," Steve said.

"We have to leave here. We have to go back… " Tony paced the room. "Now… Today. He can't go to another rally." 

They heard the front door bell and the happy voices of Nova and Bucky talking and laughing loudly.

Nat got herself together and wiped the tears from her face and straightened her clothing.

Buck and Nova burst into the room.

"Excuse me for being late. Traffic was a bear. Nova wants to say good night." Bucky entered the room like a picture on a sunny day.

Nova hugged her mother and hugged and kissed Uncle Steve and Trine and moved onto her Uncle Bruce and Uncle Tony.

"Good night kid." Tony said. His face lit up each time he looked at her.

"I'd love to stay but I have homework and school in the morning." Nova stopped at the front door and stood by her father. She hugged him and he held her face in his hands.

"That was a blast Dad thanks for taking me."

Buck held her and address the others. "Nova was so interested in Kennedy his motorcade almost ran over her."

"Yeah, he's really handsome. Nothing like T.V. I kept staring at him and didn't see his motorcycle brigade," Nova laughed.

"I had to pull her out of the way," Buck said.

"Just in time, too, Dad! The sun hit him right in the face. Do you know he has auburn hair? He has blue blue eyes like Daddy. I was so surprised to see that." She hugged her father again and went down the hall.

Bucky passed out 'All the Way with JFK' buttons in red, white and blue.

"Can we manage to get the meeting going?" Tony faked irritation.

"Sure." Bucky sat in the nearest chair and did not move.

"I call this meeting to order for the purpose of discussing our future."

"I have some new information," Buck said and raised his hand.

"What? Well… Go ahead." Irritated, Tony put his notes on the table.

"I had a heart to heart talk with Nova today," Buck glanced around the room. "... and she feels she's in the wrong time. Not that she isn't appreciative of living here but she has a 'wrong feeling' she said – a longing – kind of ... to know her own time. The time she was born to be in. Her words not mine. She said we are hiding out... trying to escape reality. She's right. I feel it too. I think we've accomplished what we set out to accomplish by coming here. The kids are teenagers or near it ... I've had no incident for six years." Natalie moved by him and put her hand on his thigh. "I am as stable as I'll ever be ... maybe." He glanced at her and put his hand on hers. Cap and Bucky looked at each other. "For myself personally and for Nova, I think it's time to go back and face real life in the future. There it is – I said it."

There was silence in the room.

"I know no one wants this ... Steve your dream job," Bucky continued, "but even if we go back to the future for a long vacation - even a year … I feel it's something I have to face."

"I think it's a great idea Angel," Natalie said.

"So do I," Cap said.

"I'm ready to go back," Trine said.

"I was going to bring it up myself. We've accomplished all we can here on a science level," Bruce said.

"That's why I called this meeting. I want to go back." Tony picked up his papers. 

"I don't believe this," Bucky said.

****

Six weeks after the return to the 21st-century Nova became withdrawn. She would not leave her old safe room: still full of her toys. She was preoccupied with her own thoughts. She did not want to exercise and barely ate. Natalie and Steve were frantic. Natalie figured she had inherited the mental illness that she heard was in her family. Nova would not talk to Bruce, but from her presentation, Bruce felt she was having a break with reality - probably over the dramatic change in her environment. Tony was upset but his advice was to wait and see – she was a teenager after all and they have all sorts of mood swings. 

Bucky said she had opened up to him when he took her to LA for the Kennedy rally, so Bucky took Nova for a ride, just the two of them and drove up the coast. However far it takes he told her: Eureka, Portland, Seattle, Vancouver, Alaska, he didn't care; they would travel until she told him what was wrong. They made it to San Francisco and she told him she was hearing voices. People talking. Whole conversations. She was listening intently to these conversations trying to figure out what they were talking about and she talked back to them when she was alone. Bucky turned the car around right before the Golden Gate bridge and they headed back to Solaris. 

Bruce wanted to medicate her. Tony wanted to give her BARF treatments. Natalie wanted to take her back to 1959 that the very day. Steve had no idea what to do. They all agreed about one thing - her symptoms were symptoms of psychosis. They all agreed she was psychotic - except Bucky. 

Nova said she felt the voices were real. She even wrote down names and addresses: Aava Laykki, Kerava, Finland; Maddalen Graf, Munich, Germany. 

The sequence of Finland - Germany alerted Bucky Barnes. He was always ready to hear something from his past raise its sorted hand and say: remember this. Sounded familiar as they were two of the countries he went to after gaining his freedom in DC and before getting caught in Romania. He had seen a lot of bizarre things in his life. If Nova's voices were real it would not be the weirdest thing he ever heard. 

He told her he believed her. He told her he thought the voices were real. With this one revelation, that her father believed her, she improved greatly. But the voices became clearer, louder, stronger and had progressed to four distinct people. Bucky's idea: go to the addresses.

The team felt it would do no harm and Nova had improved traveling with Bucky. In a few days Nat was scheduled to start her six weeks service in the Quantum Force, so Bucky packed up Nova, Roman and Bellamy and headed to Finland. 

Steve packed up to go with them (to help with the kids) until he saw Bucky on the computer reading an article titled, 'Who Shot JFK?' Steve backed out. He felt Bucky needed the distraction of being wholly consumed with taking care of his three children by himself. Steve prayed every night Bucky would give up his obsession with JFK. 

Tony offered to suit up and come help if Bucky needed him: supersonic flight, of course. He gave Bucky his old communicator to Dandalo just in case.

They flew Finnair - first class. They packed one backpack and a small roller bag each, to avoid baggage claim. Nova wrote constantly in her notebook. She wrote everything the voices were saying and they were chatty. Bucky read what she wrote: the voices seemed as confused as Nova.

They arrived at the address outside of Helsinki, Finland that looked to be a small farm and stood outside the house looking at it, not knowing what to do. A girl close to Nova's age came to the window and looked out.

"That's her!" Nova said. 

Soon the door opened and the girl came out to the street. She and Nova hugged. 

"You're real. You're real," Nova said.

The girl's name was, in fact, Aava and she cried. She invited the whole family and baggage into her house. Aava said she had been hearing three distinct voices for one year but did not tell anyone. She recently started hearing Nova's voice. Her parents came home and Bucky and her mother recognized each other. 

There was a long calm family discussion and Aava's mother told the girl that Bucky was her father. Bucky confessed to being full of the super soldier serum known as ILLUMINE and that it had been passed down to his offspring's. He proposed that Aava probably had ILLUMINE in her: hence her telepathy. He pointed out the fact that Aava and Nova had the same aqua eye color. It was a lot for a family to take in but that was not the only shocking thing that happened that evening.

The girls looked at each other stood up and said in complete unison. 

"The others are on their way here." 

They both stared at the front window.

"They're here ... now." 

The girls ran to the window. 

A young girl and a boy stood on the sidewalk in front of the house. Later another 14-year-old boy and his mother came to the door. His mother recognized Bucky too.

Aava was the oldest and the strongest as far as communicating with the others with telepathy. Bucky assumed the children were full of ILLUMINE and telepathy with each other was their super power. Aava assured the adults that there was no other children trying to communicate with her. 

Once the five teens were together; what one knew they all knew. Bucky took Nova aside and taught her a simple sleight of hand card trick. Then he tested the others. They all instantly knew how to do the trick.

The teens stayed the night together in Aava's room. They insisted. This was the beginning of the teens insisting on a lot of things.

Bucky got up each morning at 6 AM and started squeezing oranges on a nice press that was attached to the counter in the kitchen. He collected eggs from the heated chicken coop and made waffles or pancakes. He fried up the bacon and brewed the coffee and made toast with butter made right there on the farm. He cook the eggs to order, a great treat for the Europeans and made oatmeal. Breakfast was ready when 'the family' and his seven children woke for the day. 

One morning he wasn't in the kitchen when the children came downstairs. They found him in bed cocooned in his blanket. Roman and Bellamy jumped on him yelling 'get up, get up, we're hungry'. Nova knew she was too old to jump on her father like she did when she was younger but she jumped on him anyway. The children grabbed his hair, pulled at him and tried to get his attention anyway they could. Bucky pretended to be mad and said "let me sleep! And "stop" and "no!". The kids yell "daddy get up!" His kids and the four others who did not know him well joined in and they attempted to pull them out of bed. He resisted as a game and said "make your own breakfast." 

And then he felt it… He felt they were trying to read his mind. He peeked out of the blanket and found a row of aqua eyes staring at him intensely. He stared at each set: Nova, Aava, Maddalen, and Bellamy at that moment his eyes were the exact color as the others. Unwavering, Bucky stared back with his own powerful gaze. He grabbed Roman and looked him in his eyes like a mirror that looked back. He looked at him a long time. He kissed Roman on each cheek and hugged him to his chest and did not let go. He put Roman's soft pliable arm in his mouth and bit softly on it. Roman did not flinch. Bucky gazed over the top of Roman head at the others. They backed up at Bucky's show of power. They backed off. Bucky could imagine their thoughts. "He likes Roman the best." "I want to be the favorite." "I want him to love me." "Roman is his clone he would love him the most." "Roman would do anything for him." And on down the line. The feeling Bucky had of being manipulated melted away and he shook his head to shake it off.

"Okay… I'll go get the eggs." He popped out of bed. "Get ready for the day and by the time you're done I'll have breakfast ready." He said. "Roman, come with me." He did not taking his eyes off the others. He held Roman as a warning but in truth, he did not want Roman contaminated.

Bucky's four children from his two years free on the run and Nova decided that they wanted to live at Solaris. Bucky was in agreement to this because he realized he needed help and lots of it. 

At Solaris his children started a global youth movement using the Internet and later at public gatherings, the 5 spoke with one voice. After Bellamy's second puberty he enjoyed weak telepathic communication with the 5 and joined them. Bucky guided them the best he could and Natalia when she finished her service each year. Because of the strong telepathy between the offsprings their communication with the youth of the Earth was powerful and the movement spread. Elected officials were voted out and younger people were voted in. These young officials change the laws: they decrease the voting age to 14. The next election cycle the youth had a majority in a lot of countries worldwide. Many laws were changed. Massive, stringent, ecological laws were enacted. 

The fact ILLUMINE existed was made public knowledge and laws were passed for the element to be mass produced and available to all people. 

All hostilities on Earth ceased. 

What's to fight about if you can live forever?

THE END


End file.
